Being Not Straight 

apologies if the audio sounds different, my mic exploded during recording

When I was younger I thought a crush was someone you hated because you wanted to crush them 💀

"WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE" Literally the best line in the whole video.

I am a boomer. It took me a long time to realize what i was. I was raised in an environment where being homosexual was the worst thing possible. I’ve come to realize i am asexual. I felt ashamed of myself for years with no knowledge. Thank you for opening up Jaiden it makes even an old timer like me not so alone.

i dont identify as aroace, but as an autistic person, the feeling of "well everyone else is feeling this way now so i should probably start doing it too" without understanding thats not how feelings work is very real

Jaiden thinking she's bi or pan because she was equally disinterested in everyone is the funniest thing to me.

Some asexuals: "I don't feel anything, something is wrong with me" Chad Jaiden: "I don't feel anything... You all are ugly"

“That’s not gay what the hell is that” goes crazy

As a fellow Aro/Ace, this was great. To your point at the end about "coming out" feeling weird, it absolutely is for aro/ace people. We aren't coming out as gay, we just aren't interested. It feels like telling someone you don't have a favorite sports team because you don't watch sports. Also, most people in your life already probably know you are comfortable being single, they may not know the term aromantic or asexual, but they know you aren't the kind of person to always be dating someone. So "coming out" as aro/ace feels more like educating people on the terminology than it feels like telling them something you've kept secret. For most of my life, I just thought I was a broken straight guy. I "dated" a bit in high school, but just as you did with crushes, that was more about trying to fit in than something I wanted. I was like 25 years old when I first read the terms "aromantic" and "asexual" on an online list of sexualities. I remember reading the description and going "That one! That's it, that's me, I didn't know there was a word for that." Also, aro/ace has the coolest colors on the flag. Purple, green, and grey go look so good!

"We're all pretending to be adults here!" jaiden has perfectly summed up the internet experience

*”In the nicest way possible, its none of your business”* is literally the most understandable thing I’ve ever heard

"romance and intimacy is what makes us human" well guess i'll just be a silly little alien

I watched this video being 15, discovered I'm asexual, almost 17, and I never felt as comfortable as I am with my sexuality, thank you, Jaiden

Hearing other Aces say "...wait they're not joking?" about sex songs is the most validating phrase

I am 19 years old and I have never fallen in love, I have always forced myself to be in a relationship to fit into society, it was too uncomfortable for me and I felt like I was incomplete, but with your video I feel liberated and calmer. Thank you for doing this, you really helped me a lot :)

"I just met someone who I thought was cool and funny and had a really strong desire to be close to them." GUYS, GIRLS, AND GAYS, THIS HERE IS CALLED A SQUISH! As someone under the aromantic umbrella I was so excited when I found the term squish because it's what I'd always thought a crush was but I never wanted anything really romantic with them. Enjoy knowing this if it's helpful in any way!

“WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE” Literally the best one liner in the video

Ok, speaking as someone who is in High School and desperate for affection… Jaiden’s story about thinking “man I don’t have a crush on anyone, I guess I keep getting unlucky” really hit close to home… but I don’t think I’m aromantic? Because despite not feeling any romantic attraction I still deeply crave a romantic relationship, because theoretically, it sounds really nice and like something I would enjoy. And at this point I’m not sure if I’m just bad at identifying my own emotions, keep getting “unlucky”, or am somewhere on the aromantic/demiromantic spectrum.

you helped me Jaiden, nobody will ever see the comment but whatever. I have felt the same way all my life, never having a crush EVER and not understanding relationships at all. This video made me realize that I am aromantic and I'm not ashamed of it. If it wasn't for this video I would still be confused and lost, thank you!

I’m actually really glad Jaiden made this video because I don’t think things like this are discussed enough because sexual and romantic feelings are experienced and expressed wildly differently and topics of feeling neither kinds of attraction are like.. ever talked about. So thanks Jaiden, this was super comforting to realize everyone feels differently with this stuff. (I’m asexual and this helped me to realize that)

“At the end of the day, we are all just strangers ignoring the stranger danger rule.”

_"You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy"_ Based Jaiden

I’m so grateful for this video because I originally had no idea what aroace even was, and now I’ve looked a bit more into it, and I believe I’m an aroace person. Thank you Jaiden, you have shown me part of my identity that I was unaware wasn’t average and what everyone felt :D (that’s a good thing)

"WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE" I legit cracked-

"WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE" would be an awesome senior quote

Man, highschool and even college were such a weird time to me. Your "fake developing crushes on people" is resonating with me so much right now.

"WHY ARE NON OF YOU ATTRACTIVE??!!" Cought me dead 🤣🤣🤣

Before I understood I am a lesbian, I thought a crush is someone who you think is nice and u want to be around them. So I had many „crushes“ on boys in my class in school, but then I met a girl and actually had a crush and my whole world collapsed. 😂

This was literally my aroace awakening. This was the first time I heard of these terms and I was like, “OH. OHHHHH. That’s why everyone is unattractive.”

I’m not aromantic but i agree with the not-getting-why-being-just-friends-is-a-bad-thing point. Friendship rocks. No kisses i suppose, but still great Edit: this was not meant to cover every situation or be seen by many people at all, agh! I totally understand it being extremely painful when someone you have deep romantic feelings for doesn’t share them! I do think sometimes friendships, particularly male-female friendships, aren’t appreciated enough on their own unless they have the possibility of leading to a relationship. I was more trying to refer to that concept, though I realize I didn’t make that clear. I was sort of imagining a low-stakes situation of an acquaintance shooting their shot with another acquaintance (which could also be scary or embarrassing depending on the individual situation of course, but I figure it could also turn into a friendship if the awkwardness was surmountable). If you were rejected by someone you had romantic feelings for, I promise I’m not trying to dismiss that hurt, this comment was not meant to be universally applicable! And ending a friendship because it’s painful or awkward for this reason is absolutely not inherently a bad choice. Edit part 2: rewatching the video, I think I also should have phrased the sentence as understanding a feeling rather than agreeing with a point.

why is this woman the most relatable person😭😭😭 I thought I was bi or pan but just now finding out wanting to be friends with someone isn’t a crush💀

This helps me a lot, because I been questioning this things, like, girls are pretty, but I don't want any relation of any kind with them

Oh my God the "why are none of you attractive?!" being yelled in the room full of people killed me 😂😂😂😂😂

If someone ever passes you a note that says "do you like me yes or no" just just tell them I'm not registered to vote

I used to think having a crush on someone was like a “level up” thing were once you get close enough to them ud have to have a crush on them and wanna date them like it was an xp bar or something 😭

Greetings fellow traveler, it appears you’re taking a stroll through the newest comments section. I warn you now as this route will lead you to a bunch of comments that will bring you down to eternal stupidity. With that, have a nice day.

Alright. James has a girlfriend, Jaiden is aroace. *No more shipping them.* Edit: Jesus Christ this reply section is the scariest sh-t ever.

"We're all strangers not listening to the stranger danger rule" Yeah that's the Jaiden we know, classic sense of humor too, good start!

My daughter, 13 going on 14, just asked me what romantic feelings are like, and after a long talk, we discovered that she may Aro Ase! I sent her this video for more insight.

After watching this video about a year ago, and now rewatching I am thankful that Jaiden put this out so that I learned what I truly am for so long I thought, crushes and dating was just being the best friend of someone of the opposite gender, don’t misinterpret that though, but now I can know how I want my social life to be, again thanks to Jaiden for all she did for me

My last girl friend learned that she was aroace, and didnt have any romantic attraction to me at all. She just saw us as really good friends, similar to that college person. We worked through it, and are now BFFs. I'm so proud of her ❤

I remembered talking about aromantic with a friend and he legit said “How does smelling nice make you LGBTQ?” because he had mistaken aromatic = aromantic 🤦🏻‍♀️

i found out about a term under the Areoace umbrella it’s called Cupioromantic! i did a little bit of research and i feel like i fall under this term. The definition of Cupioromantic is “Cupioromantic is a micro-label orientation that describes someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship.” do what you want with this information but it’s a fun term i found.

Having a crush on someone isn't.... wanting to be their number one best friend?

You see, I'm not aroace, but holy shit do I relate to "Society expects you to be in a relationship."

Figuring out youre aro or ace or both is so hard bc society really teaches you that you need to be in a romantic relationship and be intimate or you'll be sad and die alone.

Jaiden please You need to disable the comments, there 12yr trolls are just screaming because they're board

As someone who isn't aro nor ace nor both, I have to say that the whole "WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE" bit hit suprisingly hard lol 😂

"That's not gay what the hell is that" That line was too funny

I love how humans can be so different, I am genderfluid and pansexual which means I can fall in love with anyone. Some pansexuals use the "hearts not parts" saying which means personality matters and not what is in their pants

I respect you for sharing this so publicly and stepping out of your comfort zone.

James: Has a girlfriend Jaiden: Is aroace Fanfiction artists: Let's go ahead and ignore that

The whole “wait you guys weren’t joking???” Is the ace EXPERIENCE JDHDHD i remember the day i learned what asexual meant and instantly i felt so understood!

At the end of the day, all we truly need are cats and kittens. Period

as an ace person, the realization jaiden had in the car was SO RELATABLE!!! "Like what do you mean you actually want to do that kind of stuff with the people you find pretty?? Do people actually feel this way?? I thought it was just a concept" were exactly my thoughts

That “wait, they’re *not* joking??” moment is so accurate. This entire video describes what I was trying to figure out up until like a year ago. And the happiness of figuring it out, you’re not broken, this is a thing. It so upsetting in a good way? Relieving almost.

As soon as Jaiden said that she was aro/ace, my mind straight went to the flirting video and thought about her mentioning how two people who didn't have a relationship work out should still be able to be friends and how that makes a lot more sense now knowing that she's aro/ace... AND THEN SHE MENTIONED IT IN THE VID AND I HOWLED LMAO

Being a human feels strange anyway, puberty makes it even more weird, and discovering that your natural identity is not something that is assumed-to-have is the next step into the oddity, that's amazing

This video: exists Literally Every 6 year old simp:😭😭😭

I have been saying "I am sure I will feel love and affection if the right person comes along" for like the last 10 years. This kinda makes a lot more sense now.

I still come back to this video 2 years later as a perfect explanation of this experience, growing up. Especially the bit where you say "I didn't think it was real, I thought people were exaggerating". I probably came off as a massive edgelord growing up but I stupidly assumed people were just faking it to fit in, to an extent. That people got into relationships for the same reason they wear ties to interviews - it's just a thing you're supposed to do - and I wrongfully resented it for a while. Fortunately, I have a wonderful group of friends, who are both romantic and sexual, to dispel me of that notion. I eventually realised people aren't just pretending. And I've always referred them to this video to partially excuse my jackassery in the past, so ta muchly :D

ill be real, this sounds better than being straight🥲

"It's none of your business" It's shocking how quickly people forget that. They carry on like your (lack of) orientation actually affects them personally. I sincerely hope none of your detractors have scared you away from continuing to make amazing content.

Everyone else: I'm not in a relationship because I'm not attractive Jaiden: I'm not in a relationship because everyone else isn't attractive

who likes garlic bread

As someone who, after discovering this rabbit hole, found that they might be cupioromatic (not feeling romantic attraction but wanting a relationship) this video has really helped me. Especially with the part that Jayden thinks she has a crush but it just ends up being a focused desire to hang out with someone. There is a lot in here that I can relate to. At least, if my life thus far is anything to go by.

I didn't realize "choosing random people to "crush" on because it seems like the thing to do" was a universal thing lmaoo

“No one presented to me OTHER options.” Wow, WOW this hit hard. It took me a long time to finally realize I was Ace, it was a revelation that being Ace was a legitimate THING and not just me being indecisive/selfish/weird.

Honestly I think we need more people talking about aero/ace and platonic love more because it really feels like being in a relationship is something that people kinda pressure other people into.

"I hope you can understand even just a little of what I talked about, and if not, I just hope you can be nice." Standing ovation for that line, honestly. So many people who don't understand something use that as a reason to dismiss or invalidate it, but not fully being able to comprehend something doesn't make it impossible to have compassion for those who do experience it. (As someone who is constantly confused by other people, I have firsthand experience in this.) Also, major kudos for the approach of this video. Using your platform to speak up for those who don't often feel seen is a really admirable thing to do, and maintaining boundaries of your own personal life at the same time is very respectable.

Finally someone who believes the phrase “sex is a distraction from 2005 Battlefront II” more than I do

I think the best relationship is just being best friends 😎

Don't let the haters get you. I'm straight but im a ally. Whatever you want to identify as, go right ahead.

"So I made up a crush" is one of the most relatable things I've ever heard. I distinctly remember being in middle school and everyone talking about crushes and when I was asked about mine I just mentioned a close friend, and I did the same thing like a year later with someone else, and then the same when I got into high school, and I kept feeling like I wasn't doing something right. I eventually discovered I was aromantic and asexual but everyone around me was so weird about it. A teacher even told me "how are you going to teach your kids about sex if you've never had it?" Which- no comments honestly. I'm much happier now knowing exactly where I want my relationships to be and not stressing over which I'm expected to have. Great video Jaiden :) thanks a lot!

12:34 I don't know if this was intentional or not, but I love the idea of an aroace person expressing platonic affection and following it up with "no romo"

what are with the trolls in these comments? these people need to grow up.

So basically, we love rocket ships, not relationships, most of us

As a straight man, I found this video not only informative but helpful to my personal understanding of relationships and whether it is that I want to be in one or I feel pressured to be in one. This is an amazing follow-up to a previous video of yours and I'm glad you were able to talk about things in ways that people don't necessarily do.

"The more I came to terms with being AroAce, the more empowered I felt." Me, with the brain of a 5 year old: Well of course you do, purple and green are the hulk's colors. That makes you the strongest there is

Wait... I just realized... I AM LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME! I FINALLY KNOW WHAT TO TELL MY FRIENDS! (At the building of knowledge that I currently go to, some of my fellow students made a rule that before you join a friend group, people have to know who you are attracted to before you join and then people decide if you can join depending on your answer, it's a stupid rule really, I've been denied access to any of the groups because I say "I don't really know yet".)

Just a tip: I'm also Aroace and you encouraged me a lot to be happy how I am. Thanks Jayden.

I had never heard of being “aromantic” before. This makes me wonder if I’m aromantic. Like, I think I crave wanting to be loved, but just haven’t had that feeling of love. I’ve tried having that feeling. I thought I had it once, but then looking back on it, I didn’t really feel anything. I was just trying to convince myself I felt something, when in reality I just really liked hanging with the person. I think most of the “crushes” I had growing up in High School were just physical attraction, so I know for a fact I’m not asexual because I do experience physical attraction. This is confusing. I gotta look more into this to figure out if I actually am aromantic, or if I’m just bad at identifying my own emotions, lol.

I know Jaiden referred this as the cliff notes version but honestly I learnt so much from this. This video is definitely going to help a lot of people out there :)

"i love my family and my pets, just platonically. AND I WOULD HOPE THAT YOU'RE THE SAME! 😀

I am agearoace. Agender, aromantic, asexual. A triple a battery.

"WHY ARE NONE OF YOU ATTRACTIVE?!" You're fantastic. I really relate to all of this -- like, in a way that has me thinking "Okay maybe I do need to reevaluate some things I thought I knew about myself" -- and I really appreciate that you made the video even though it opens the door to a lot of people speculating and making assumptions about your personal life.

Dude the “picking a crush out to feel like I’ve reached my emotional quota” is such a mood. I’m autistic and have always struggled feeling left out because I’ve never felt romantic attraction.

“I’ve got my eye on some of you,BEHAVE!” 😂

This video helped me come to terms with my Acesexurallity! Thank you Jayden

Fun fact: bread is one of the major things that make us human

As someone who *finally* came to terms with being asexual, this video was really reassuring to see, especially the "they're not joking?!?" bit. I think that was the thought that finally confirmed being ace for me.

this is actually the video that made me realize i was aroace too! so thanks jaiden for helping me find myself :) P.S ignore the 12 year olds in the comment section yapping about homophobia, i'm pretty sure they just want internet attention since their parents never gave them any.

I'm super grateful that you decided to shine a light on this. You're absolutely right: Aroace is not talked about and it's something I'm just learning about right now, thanks to you. Thank you so much for sharing this!

i feel like the line "Why are none of you attractive?" will become a meme.

“Love is love…but what exactly is love? Its math. Let’s take this drawing board.” -Jaiden before figuring herself out

Jaiden over here helped me figure out that I was nonbinary/agender when this video came out. Thanks, man.

MOST relatable thing to ever exist ever. Thank you even if you don’t talk about it ever again it’s still amazing that you made this video and made some rep, so thank you

"Why is no one attractive?!" Had me laughing so hard I'm awake now. Thank you.

Jaiden: *comes out* Companies making pride quizzes: it’s free real estate

im gen alpha, and i do not approve of this comment section