Being Stealth in School | FTM 

Hey dude so I was wondering, how did you let the school know that you were trans? And are you allowed to use the boys restroom? And do they have your preferred name on the attendance sheets?

did you have to take T to start ?

How did you solve the locker room problem?

@@asher5690 I never really let the school know. I do have my name on all of my paper work and everything but it’s not listed as preferred it’s just listed as my name. I got around this by pointing out how they have to have my name in the system as my “preferred name” bc it could be dangerous for me if they don’t. If your parent is supportive you should be able to argue for it but you gotta be adamant. I do use the mens restroom since I’m stealth it would be weird for me to be in the womens one. It is scary af but I just make sure to check if it’s empty or be as casual as possible

@@asher5690 the school does technically know I’m trans (since we had to argue with them) but they don’t know I’m trans in my team because when I gave my physical the lady signed me as M. I went to a Walgreens same day clinic so the lady wouldn’t know I’m afab. I could get into trouble if my team even found out but it’s been 2 years so far and they haven’t so 🤷‍♂️. I try not to think about it

hope its going well of you man, being stealth can be amazing but also stressful

thx mate

Same bro, couldn't have asked for a better outcome

So glad to help dude, and best of luck with school!!

hows it going? im doing the same thing

@@3ll3llyyy hot damn is this an old comment, lol. It’s going great! Mostly I just need to keep my chin up and learn to roll with the punches. I’m a Junior. My god.... how did this happen. Anyhow, best of luck to y’a!

Remiel Hillian bro i’m literally in the same boat i’m about 4 months on T and imma be at a new school it’s really scary but i’m excited to finally not be seen as trans

@@-.-u.uwe.o UGH i feel u! hope everything goes well for ya, dude.

i would tell them pretty early on

mattisus what if they told other people though? Couldn't that's out you??

yeah it was pretty cool. i was 15 and a half when i started T

mattisus hey same here, except I'm not stealth :(

mattisus what state are you from?? in WA people either have to wait until they’re over 18 or spend years in the public health system

coreyote I live in WA and I got to start testosterone at 15 😅

kryldon oh! lol

Hey man, I can understand why you're parents are hesitant as 12 is really young for any type of surgery. I got top surgery at 16 and my surgeon explained to me that operating on someone younger than that could have complications and your chest may even grow back (you don't want that!!) So just understand that there may be reasons for waiting just a little bit... But i know how frustrating it is waiting for something you know you need. Binders aren't that bad for you if you bind properly and not for too long. I would find some videos about binding safely that you could show your parents to try and convince them to let you have one. If not, there are heaps of other ways to hide your chest such as tight sports bras, swimming costumes. I even used a super tight singlet at one point. Hope that helps a bit and just hang in there bro it will come!!

@@mattisus6712 thank you so much this really helped me :)

Me too :"((

its horribly stressful, especially when dealing with substitutes that use your birth name or being in gym/sports. ive been dealing with it for years now, but it's been a benefit for my family to be military bc they always moved around the time they found out. thats usually not th case for most people though, all the moving.

It is, but to me it’s a lot better than people knowing I’m trans

It’s stressful but yea it’s better

This is a late comment. But i knew i was trans from a really young age but was too afraid to tell anyone. But i basically completely looked like a boy and acted like one (because I felt like I was a boy on the inside) . But then ofcourse puberty came. It was a shock to me, I've seen my older sister go to puberty but I always thought that just wouldn't happen to me. I thought I would just have puberty like all the other boys. But puberty happened and every day I started hating myself and my body more. I became reallly insecure and my grades at school dropped, I started to hate all kinds of sport (because when you do sports, you will be able to see if you have chest). Eventually I started to wear baggy clothing and walked with my chest in as much as I could. It came to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore and I started writing a coming out letter for my mom, this took my 2 months... (I was almost 15) i came out to her, everything went great but I was still to afraid to come out to anyone else. So I suffored for one more year and then I finally got the courage to ask my mom for a binder, which helped a lot to lighten my dysphoria. And then one and a half year later (17 years old) I finally came out to everyone: school, family, friends... Everything went really well, I haven't had one single bad reaction even though a lot of people at my school are rather conservative and there is not a single lgbtq+ (that is out) in my entire school. Now I'm 3 months later , almost 18 and hoping to start T in about 6 months. Going to the wrong puberty was terrible, I became a sad and insecure version of myself because I knew exactly why I didn't want it but it didn't stop even though how many times I went to sleep wishing I would wake up as a boy. I feel like I missed out on lot of things in those years between 13 and 16, just because I felt so inconfortable within my own skin. And now I still have a lot of dysphoria because I haven't been able to go through the right puberty yet. But I'm geeting there.. it's just the waiting that is so hard. Sorry for this long comment haha, hope you weren't too bored. Have a nice day if you read this far!

Noah Theys what the world needs is a 100% safe puberty blocker for all afab girls. Because realistically, no cis girl needs to be dealing with female puberty while she's doing secondary school either.

@@tealrose3248 I mean, puberty blockers now are about 99% safe. There have been a few studies about them affecting things like bone density and calcium levels and whatnot, but overall, they're safe and reversible.

notes/emails help lots

Then you're just gonna have to be confident and not giving anyone any openings for them to be mean about it.

Yoshi ma then you're stuck with waiting until you own your own life. Which is hell while you wait, but you do know that this time will pass and eventually you'll get to live your life as the person you are inside. Stay strong.

basically a lot of the time if you are out as trans people know you just because you are trans. i didn't want that to be the case. and passing means to be perceived and identified as your preferred gender by the public.

its like a shirt that you swim in that dries super quick and doesn't get heavy like a t-shirt does in water

Zander Foster yeah it's not,an action!

Adjective, actually.

Have you ever heard of an Australian accent?