I think Bertie hesitated to tell Tuca about this because she was afraid she was gonna react like her former, highschool friends did. Fortunately, Tuca proved herself to be a true friend.
@@dork7546 Or show her empathy and then ALSO take advantage of her sexually like her goth friend did. It really helps show why she and Tuca are so loyal to one another.
@@gabe_s_videos Her goth friend was a bitch but I guess she picked it up from her parents. While Bertie's parents may have tried to act as if nothing happened, they were clearly traumatized by what happened to her daughter and that was their coping mechanism. Meanwhile, the parents of her goth friend sounded as if they really didn't care that their gardener sexually assaulted their daughter(and I guess she probably wouldn't care if the same thing happened to her kid seeing how she hates him).
That *"I trusted him"* resonates with me a little too personally, cuz after that comes the part where you blame yourself because YOU trusted someone...it's one of the worst feelings in the world
You probably heard this a thousand times, but I feel it warrants repeating: kids are programmed to trust adults. It's hard-wired into their biology. You ARE NOT to blame for an adult taking advantage of that. THEY ARE. You ARE NOT stupid for trusting them: kids need adults to feel safe, and a subhuman creature took advantage of that to get to you. Love yourself. You did nothing wrong. You are perfect just as you are. ❤️
@@IAmBuddythedecibwave Thank you so much, but unfortunately my abuser was only 17 months older than me and I was around 4-5. Gotta love our big brothers too huh 😅 (I'm swear I'm not being a smartass lol)
@@mysticalkeyblade759 I am very sorry this happened to you. And you are very brave to open up about this. I personally like how the show showed the ways it affected her sex life, and how she developed kinks to dealt with it. Is well know how kinks help people with trauma, because it allow them to regain control. I don't know if she kept in touch with kink (I didn't finish, but I saw the kink scenes and the conversations) but I saw that she had struggles with her desires and what was "right to feel". She showed a lot of shame, and I hope the show told that there is no need to feel shame for the feeling you have, or what you feel like doing it with a partner to feel safe. I don't have memories of being SA, but I have such a strong reaction and fear about it, many doctors asked me if I was. I for one, got into kink and sexology to understand this fear, and it allowed me to express In a way that makes me feel safe as well. In a way, I relate alot and empathize with Bertie too. Is important to have this conversation. That to some kink is helpful and to others isn't, and it is okay. And I believe tuca and bertie opened a good conversation starter
Love the representation of groomers as "good people" or "nice people". They don't often show that they're bad people. They're likeable, and that's how they lure you in. It's horrifying and sad and terrible, and so, so important to talk about
You're absolutely right. It does a complete disservice to victims _(past, present and, as much as I hate to say it, future)_ to always portray predators as the cliche "creepy old man" stereotype.
1:26 I love how they chose to animate this scene - panning up to show her swim suit flying away, to communicate what happened. so simple, yet so powerful.
@@bettyhall2612 for real? [Content warning: SA] He (an adult) lured Bertie (when she was a child) into the forest and raped her. The swim suit flying in the air above the tree tops communicates to the audience that once Bertie was deep in the woods & all alone with him...he ripped her swim suit off (without her consent, obviously). _(It's then made clear that he removed her swim suit in the process of raping her.)_ This scene is Bertie, as an adult, telling Tuca about how she was sexually assaulted at this location years ago...which is why she's afraid to swim there. I'm guessing you don't know much about the show (genuinely don't mean that offensively!), because Bertie dealing with this sexual assault (and others) is a big part of the story. What he did to her in the woods comes up in subsequent scenes, including how people in her life at the time reacted when she told them. (We see how terribly each of her school "friends" reacted, as well as how poorly it was handled by the school counselor she told, and so on. _(Point being I'm definitely not mistaken about what he did; this scene is not up for interpretation, etc.)_ Ok sorry /end ramble 😅✌️ Not at all trying to be rude or attack you for not knowing what he did; just trying to explain! ❤️
@@sorryifoldcomment8596 I think the swimsuit flying away also symbolizes her innocence and trust flying away, it also really makes sense that when she was overpowered by pastry pete she ended up aroused and coped by masturbating. I use to not understand but its a way of SA victims taking back some type of power in your mind. I understand now because I did the same thing. your ramble was so spot on though and what happened to Bertie was so awful. no wonder she left that place behind
I definitely love this scene! It shows that even party types like Tuca can show compassion for shy, sweet types like Bertie when need be. I especially like how Bertie opened up her feelings towards Tuca. :)
As a CSA survivor, this part just really resonated with me as well as the part where she comforts her child self and it genuinely brings me to tears every time. The way the show handles this topic is just incredible
You are strong and brave ,you are amazing for staying strong , one time a man follwed me in streets ,i cried hard after this and my mom just starded yelling at me ,i feel bad knowing that people like you suffered by these type of gross ass man ,but seeing you guys staying strong after this make me feel safe
The way this scene was done felt too real- The complimenting, the little comment of, "You don't seem like you're ____ age", and then Bertie describing she felt like something was off, but went with it because he was an adult and seemed like he was nice. Usually groomers are painted as obvious villains in shows, you don't get to see the side that makes them so dangerous; how easily they can manipulate others into feeling safe and then taking advantage of it.
She's fiction but she represents the archetype of all of us who've been abused. And who are just doing our best every day to live life and get by. And that archetype is far from fiction.
Watching Bojack Horseman I dismissed this show because it's different in writing style but same in art style so didn't think much of it but now I'm rewatching it
It's the immature joke and poor advertising that keeps people from seeing the good. If it was tonally more like this than not, I would have given it a chance.
Tbf from the surface it seems like such a typical "girl boss" "woke" show. But actually watching it, it's so much more. People shitting on it is more due to how it's advertised
I'm a huge BoJack Horseman fan and I hadn't gave this show a chance yet since it looked more like a pure comedy from ths promo material I saw. I'll definately need to give this show a chance.
I wasn't expecting a show about horny bird women to make me cry. I was SA'ed a few years ago and have only recently begun to process the event. I love how this show was very kind towards Bertie's trauma and it's comforting. Now that I've confronted my own assault I've been slowly reclaiming my own island.
@@miyubeilschmidt5351 Oh! Yeah, there is. After Netflix denied a second season, Adult Swim swept in and saved the day! I think this weekend is when season 3’s final episode(or at least 10th) releases
I’m with Tuca, she should swim to the island. While it won’t erase the past, she can say it didn’t stop her from going to the island like she practiced.
@cobbletarts I really hate that kind of stuff. I hate motivation and hope ever since my dad introduced it to me. His voice repeats in my head so much that he wants to change who I am. I hate how he tries to make me watch videos about never giving up and tries to believe in to try new things I know I can't or I don't want to do because I'm autistic. When I was younger, I was scared of my family dying and me being alone. I told them that if they did die, I wouldn't want to replace them because they were the only ones for me. My dad told me that he would want me to be strong and find a new family. It wasn't until I cried one day when I finally started to feel happy again. I started to feel not to search for a new family if my current one died. I felt mentally stable again. But my dad said it's okay to cry if you're happy but cry if you're sad, then something should be done about it. I swear, everything that comes out of my dad's mouth is intoxicating. I saw Pixar's Inside Out, and it taught me that it's okay to be sad. MY DAD COULD LEARN SOMETHING FROM INSIDE OUT! Other thing is that I hate movies that have a message of never giving up, Blue Sky's Robots, which is a painfully cliché film because of this. I remember when I felt suicidal that my dad only told me to get my head out of my ass instead of helping me. That just goes to show how my dad is a compassionless bastard. I like films like Pixar's Up that teach people it's okay to give up, unlike most movies which have scenes where the characters fall into despair, another one gives them a pep talk then they go save the day. This is the main reason I never want to work in the film industry. And when my dad showed me a video about what to do if you want to change the world. I never had plans to change the world, so the video my dad showed me warped my mind! It's why I try to stay away from my dad as much as possible and why encouragement now disgusts me.
tell it to zalvayaz or whatever his name was. Anyway, rumours tell that Tuca and Bertie might face his wrath on cancellation of animated shows on HBO Max
I think its the only animated comedy show that deals with womens issues and experience like this. Bojack is great but this is the only show ive seen with so much care put into convening actual womens stories, im so sad it wasnt renewed but we know exactly why it wasnt renewed cause its made for and by women. Bojack got a chance Birdie and Tuca didnt
I’m glad the creators of this show didn’t just throw this part of Bertie’s story away after this episode. Bertie is still actively learning about how to deal with the aftermath of her assault throughout the show. It’s one of the many reasons why this show has a special place in my heart. It deals with rough subjects, that are frequently left untouched, in an honest and open way.
I loved when Tuca threw the egg thing away immediately after Bertie told her about what happened, sure it's nothing special to put your loved ones before materialistic stuff, but it was so wholesome for her to completely disregard it for her friend. Shows how much she cares about her and values her feelings.
This scene was such a turning point in the series. You spend the first half of the show thinking it is some kind of "goofier Bojack", but then, all of a sudden, they present you with a complex and trauma-struggling plot
I like how the show focuses more on Bertie’s emotions/her response to the assault instead of the details of the assault itself. Apparently one of the writers said that choice was intentional: they wanted people to focus on the trauma Bertie has because of what happened and how she’s responding to it, and they wanted it to be relatable for survivors of different kinds of SA, as well as avoid people focusing on whether the assault was “severe enough” for Bertie to be traumatized by it.
Bertie has to be one of the characters I heavily relate to. Groomed by someone you trusted and followed them bc they're an adult, dealing with trauma and panic attacks, she's really REALLY well written and I love that.
I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that awful experience. I hope one day you'll be able to overcome that trauma and thrive through the pain. Please be kind to yourself.
@@lxi.. Thank you so much! This is honestly the nicest RU-vid comment I've ever seen. Thankfully I've managed to mostly move past it all, but of course nothing will ever be completely the same.
Tuca is a true/best friend to tell her that “You’ve very brave for telling me this” that’s a perfect response to tell someone when they tell you what they’ve been through.
I really love how Tuca tells her not to run away from it, but to take back what was hers before. I know she’s talking about the island, but it’s honestly a great message.
Agreed The less detail I feel makes it more effective and disturbing. As it’s left to your imagination of what exactly happened. Yes you know what occurred but exactly *what* occurred is left to your imagination
I wish this was my best friend’s response to me or something comforting when I told her about my trauma (that year I was going through court and therapy. Was also first year of middle school), but instead she just said “I have to go, (insert friend name here) is here to hang out” I cried to myself after she hung up the phone and since that day she didn’t talk to me at school and our “friend group” excluded me as well :)
I don't understand your "friend's" response. So she's angry at you and kicked you out of the friend groups because you are telling her about your trauma? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. I'm sorry you experienced that.
@@haven_lady675 It... actually does make sense if you think about it. They were middle schoolers. In addition to general immaturity, that time of someone's life is one of the most erratic when it comes to change. When it comes to severe trauma, it drastically changes the victim(s), and 99% of the time, an excessively hormonal child won't know how to handle that sort of thing. As in this case, they pushed the trauma victim away in an act of avoidance. They may also assume the story to be a lie because they don't understand just how the situation could happen, or why an adult would do such a thing, after all, they trust adults (to that degree even in that rebellion stage).
I know how she feels. I was very hesitant to tell my family because I just thought I would be blamed for it. It's really nice she has someone she can talk to.
@Is Swampus that is horrible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Gender doesn't change or excuse how heinous the act is, and I hope a show brings things like this into light aswell.
@@mysticxjuice6612 I definitely agree. Sorry to hear Swampus has gone through something like that but gender doesn't matter. Anyone can be bad. Just because another gal did it to you that doesn't mean you should be dismissed.
This is literally my favorite scene out of all television to be honest. It holds a special place in my heart. Made me speak up about my own CSA experience. It sounds silly but this show really helped me.
The hints, the feelings Bertie was experiencing through- especially with the Chef; I couldn’t believe how much I related and here- when they revealed it. I knew this was a show I’d never forget. I love Tuca and Bertie and it’s was so refreshing to see my experiences validated.
It makes me cry. I have never watched a show discuss experiences like this so deeply and gently. This show is so informative to people who may not have had these particular experiences, and it is also so validating for those of us who have felt this way, with shame, and have never been able to talk about it.
Tuca telling Bertie " You're brave to tell me this ' and " this is what dealing with your shit looks like' . She knows what bertie needs to hear after hearing her story. Bertie is luck to have a sweet bf, a best friend who doesn't give up on her, and a job that actually makes her happy
I like they didn’t specify what happened, it makes it look like it doesn’t really matter what happened exactly, sexual as assault is sexual assault and it affected her, it lives no roommates for the “it wasn’t that bad” narrative victims are so commonly hit by
As a CSA survivor this really hit me. I remember telling of my incident to my friends and they supported me. They are truly the best friends I could ever have. We protect each other.. ❤
I like how this show talked about SA. this brings me comfort since i was groomed when i was younger, it felt like i wasn't alone in this scene. (I told my dad what happened after a year from what happened, i got help and i am still trying to figure myself out but I'm doing much better.)
One thing I like is that it takes note to what she's wearing. It was something SHE felt happy in and she spent her own money on it. It was something pure and joyful, and he ruined it for her. Often times, creeps will say "what was she wearing?" when a survivor tells their story. And seeing that you could wear just anything and creeps would hurt you, it really disproves their argument. Her love for swimming, her love for that island, it was torn from her from that man. And I love how Tuca was supportive of it. She reassured her and gave her the space she needed. One thing among abuse survivors is heavily associating certain places or objects with their abusers, so hearing Tuca tell Bertie they should reclaim that island, it's a huge way to warm someone's heart.
As someone who has a friend who dealt with abuse in this way, it hurt when Bertie started crying. I could feel the raw emotion coming from Bertie’s sobs
It’s hurts but the line means so much💕😭”I wish I could protect them”💕SA victims just want it never happen to anyone else. It’s the main reason why they come out with their story so it can help others😭💕💕
This episode of her experience with SA and the struggle of hypersexuality is well represented. From personal experience it can be hard to talk about because you believe it's your fault.
I like how Tuca assures the audience: “I wish I could protect them from men” “Like Pastry Pete?” The show could have easily geared towards the “Hate all men” crowd but it did didn’t, it tackles the issues in a mature angle. Where from a woman’s experience, some men can or will be dangerous.
@@wesjuice1124 That and I'm sure there are men that resonate with Bertie's situation. I know I do. I have an involuntary stress/anxiety response around much older men and some women myself, though I don't hate them or think it's their fault/problem I got SA'd.
Creator even has said they will not get any deeper with this subject so don't ask more details. In future seasons though, there are partially some mentions of the Jelly Lake but these are more post-jelly lake moments like how others reacted to this including Bertie's parents
I love this show so much. I like that it tells a story about characters processing their trauma and issues instead of being in the middle of it. It handled Tuca's sobriety and Bertie's trauma in such a gentle and real way.
Show: Has a character blatantly clarify that she doesn't mean all men as a whole and then goes to explain why her worldview on most men is particularly warped. Literally everyone who missed the point: So men are evil basically
Yes. This. Right there. So fucking true. I’ve seen multiple spectrums of men. I’ve seen the shitty ones. I’ve experienced manupulative ones. And yet, I’ve also met very sweet ones. Kind and supportive ones. So yes. Some men are monsters, but not all monsters are men.
These, ppl are just angry and defensive because if we admit that this is a gendered issue it would make it harder for them or their mates to get away with it if they ever do anything like that
Ngl this show is so much better than anything else. It shows true friendship and how supportive they get and all. To the point you're feeling better with someone who cares about you. Ngl not the same can go with me... A like 4 months ago I wasn't feeling well because my mom's bf got out from jail and me and my middle brother don't like him anymore. He was fighting with my middle brother which was pretty bad and still living with us. I don't eat in the kitchen anymore or I don't eat at all. Then my ex friend who was working with me was planning a last minute trip. Sadly it meant I have to cover for him and told me he is broke but still wanted to go see his gf. He asked everyone at work and we all said no. Then I told him in disappointed sigh "I'm letting you know not to go. But you do you." He left and I had to cover his shifts as always. Sadly that week was when I was mentally prepared to see my dad's grave but that motivation was gone and I cried so bad too. My friend having a good time while I suffered more and more. Then he told me he got sick and I just didn't respond because I'm just very disappointed overall. Then he began to cry how he'll miss work and all. He was away for almost a month which got the managers all upset on him because ain't allowed to take a vacation if it lasts more than a week or two. Unless it's a family matter. He came back the next day when he returned and ngl I was just too tired to deal with people and became very quiet. Just seeing him gone and all relaxed while I'm just flat out tired is just nothing good. (Btw my body is quite different too. You see I have no large intestine and affects me energy a lot more and makes me feel tired out quickly too.) I just felt mad at him ngl and avoided talking to him too. I just couldn't fr. Then the managers got after him because of course, he was still sick with the 19 and got sent home early too. Then his sister texted me about what I did was wrong. Like what did I do? Ngl it wasn't me who was mad but the other employees too. This was when top gun barely came out as well and it was very busy AF. Then it happened. He called me a harasser and endangering his family. I'm like wtf and asked him why? And he shut down immediately. Idk if he quit or got fired but overall he blamed me for that too. I was there for him all the time like making sure he is okay and bringing him goodies and tips and all. And I get backstabbed like this. Then my ex broke up with me too on that same month so I wasn't feeling well. Then a month later or two I met someone special online and they live in Poland. A beautiful person who is really good and overall amazing walked up to me to chit chat and vent on me and I didnt mind. Asking for how they feel and how they are closeted due to fear that their family gonna hate them if he came out as trans. We chit chat about that topic and we send each other pictures of ourselves. Compliments were thrown left and right. We became instant new bff's and then they asked me out in two weeks later. I was like into shock. They said the relationship seems like it's gonna work and was shy to ask me out to begin with. I told them that I too wanted to ask them out. She's so special. A feminine male who wants to transition to a girl and feels safe with me. I support them all the way and they made sure I feel happy and safe too. They love me for how cool and masculine I look even if I'm tiny and a weak looking gal. Overall it's been alright for now. I'm still healing from that issue with someone who used me for in app rewards and all. With me sweet trans gf, I feel happy 😊
As a survivor, I understand that betrayal of someone who you thought you could trust only to be assaulted by them. It hurts, I know but, what I also wished is that I learned about SA sooner than later in life. Because thanks to RU-vid and those speaking, I never realized that I was a victim until I was 16.
Bertie sees everyone as giving up on her, but to be honest, the people that didn't listen didn't give up on her, they just flat out floated away like the deaf paper boats they were.
@@kritzelklotz198 but the fact that IT DOES HAPPEN. When op is saying the life guard is disgusting and needs to go to jail they aren't just talking about a fictional character, they're talking about the real creeps too.
I love this show with all my heart. I tried to get my friends into it but they dismissed it as stupid because of some of the humor in the beginning. I like the type of humor in this show though. I wish they had stuck around because there is a lot of good moments and plot lines that are taken seriously. One of my friends finally watched it through after finishing BoJack Horseman and quote, “being starved for more content BoJack related.” But they like the show now as it’s own stand alone thing which is good.
Most shows I can’t stand the portals of sexual assault. Most ignore improving and getting past and instead wallow in a pity party. Tuca not only being supportive but encouraging Bertie to not let it stop her from doing the things she loves is a great message
It kills a part of you forever. You will never feel safe again like you did before. A lifetime of that fear in the back of your mind, always. But you can still find ways to be happy. And even though you'll never fully trust men again, when you find one that you feel safe around it's even more amazing
After discovering what Tiffany did, this scene got fucking ruined to me. I hope they fully redub tuca bc I cannot fucking watch this knowing that a predator is in it.
I do love the show for many reasons! One of them is that it just goes to show you. That a television show that is lighthearted and very enjoyable to watch just literally talks about some of the most serious subjects and I love that. And I wish more television shows would do what this television show did.
Having only seen season one from beginning to end so far, I can say with certainty that I've been both Tuca and Bertie on numerous occasions through my 32 years.
It's worse when you are questioned, like: How you didn't notice it? Why didn't you do anything? Because you don't expect it, you're in shock - you didn't believe this shit would happen and you enter a trance of doubt and confusion and then blame yourself feeling disgusted by your body.
As an SA survivor...I feel too close to what Bertie lived....except he was my dad. Imagine trusting the person who should love you to then realize they wanted to destroy you. I still have trust issues to this day bc of it.
...and then it came out that tucas voice actor tiffany haddish was also a "bad lifeguard" and covered it up. if they ever revive this show, they have got to recast tuca. its just not right, this character being *a victim* of abuse from kara.
"Fly away little bird..." Idk where this is from but i honestly wish I could just like a gust of wind dang this shows dark and sad moments remind me of this other adult animated movie Movie that's based off this graphic novel from Mexico that's just real and it's author begining is very inspiring It's called Bird boy and the forgotten children and it's not for kids there's this short film that's on RU-vid you could watch that was a test which was well received and that's how they got the budget to make the movie and highly recommend but it's not for the faint of those who don't understand the use of drugs and the grim life of others in certain situations. "That nobody likes to talk about..."
This scene gives me comfort knowing that it says to me "I understand what you went through" due to a couple of bad... events... in my life. This is why I love this show. Tuca and Berdie is an amazing show.
"You're so brave to tell me this." 😢 Tuca, you are such a good friend. I teared up at that. And at Bertie saying that Tuca never gives up on her. That's a true friend right there.
@@limericky8548 omg someone has feelings and relates to a show!?!?!?!?? Lol!!!! How stupid are they!!!! That's embarrassinggg!!!!!(For real though, why would you even say that?? That's messed up, dude. Different people have different coping skills, and theirs is a show, and it's not hurting anyone.)
@@limericky8548 rich coming from you because all you've done is reply to pretty much every single comment here with petty edgy nonsense just to get attention. now that's embarrassing
And this was the moment I soul bonded to this show. The scenario itself hit waaaay too close to home. Only major differences are my "lifeguard" was only 2 years older than me and a family/childhood friend. That's a betrayal that sticks with you. I've seen plenty of CSA stories in media but this was the first time I felt so seen. It's why I was so livid when this show was cancelled and so elated when it got brought back
