She needs to leave this relationship. Clearly there's still something going on with him and his ex. And even if there isn't, at the end of the day if her boyfriend doesn't respect her enough to not put his partner in this situation then she should find someone else who can respect her.
If they’re just best friends it’s not her life you can’t put one persons feelings in front of the other as if both of you don’t have needs so if he needs his ex because they’re best friends and clearly didn’t work romantically then it’s fine if you’re mature
@@matthewlee8618 she's not putting her feelings over his. She's voiced multiple times over the years that she's uncomfortable with their friendship but she still accepted it. She didn't tell him he couldn't be friends with her, she asked that they talk less and he pushed back on that. Then she asked that he doesn't hang out with his ex alone and he doesn't even have enough respect for her to even do that. She's clearly trying to meet him halfway, while he refuses to compromise anything when it comes to his ex.
@@matthewlee8618 You can't be best friends with an ex. If you could, you'd still be together. What he is, is a fire extinguisher, "break glass in case of emergency." The ex is keeping him on a string in case she feels the need to get dicked down. He's probably doing the same thing. It's like watching a movie you've seen a hundred times. You know the plot, you know the lines, you know how it ends, and you watch it again because you like it.
People are too afraid of seeming insecure and controlling in relationships so they put up with this kind of nonsense. You don't have to control, just say you don't like it and pull the F back if it continues. You have to know your boundaries and be willing to walk away when they're crossed.
He’s probably not even going down there to visit family. Either her ex got proposed to or he’s going to pop the question himself and just wants to fuck her one more time. I’d be willing to go all in on that he’s been unfaithful AT LEAST once. And it’s not even because of all of this shit, it’s because he can’t wrap his head around why his girl is uncomfortable with his relationship with his ex. I mean… “I guess I can’t go out at all.” “IF it does happen (by if he means when), you can’t get mad.” Yeah, thats some of the most manipulative shit I’ve ever heard. You think he would be understanding if you threw that line at him. I’d bail.
Exactly!! 💯 The ex is pulling his strings and he’s going along with it. So ironic that he’s asking his GF not to be controlling when his ex is the one controlling and sabotaging the whole scenario. Lol He’s beyond a loser who thinks with his other head. Dump him for sure!
He’s willing to hurt his gf feelings in order to spare his ex’s? I hope she dumped him. It hurts like heck for awhile, but afterwards you feel so much better.
This is the type of guy so many women go for because of the very drama that's there. I know this woman that was dating a guy that she suspected was cheating on her, so she confronted him and he gave his answers, which she didn't really buy. Already, she doesn't trust him which should just be the cue for ending things, but what does she do? She stays with him while he's still acting sus to the point where she plans out this whole thing to catch him, which she eventually does. Rather than just be done with it, she goes thru several more weeks of unnessecary drama, then post about it online talking about how he's a cheating narcissist and how they choose strong people like her to prove how superior they are (which is not what happens at all, but of course she has to find a way to pat her self on the back after being such a fool). I remember seeing the post and reading the story and seeing the pics of her catchin him. The whole time I'm reading it I'm just thinking "why did you go thru all of this trouble and waste your time when the trust was broken already?" It has to be the drama. There's just no other reason that makes any sense.
She loves him that's why she is trying to be accommodating to him and have his happiness in mind when making these decisions. He sees her as his property that's why he doesn't want to lose her but also doesn't consider her happiness in his decisions. Property should just stay put and wait for him to return to it.
I talk to 0 past significant others. I have no social female friends outside of friends wives and the ones I HAVE to see at work. My wife is my friend I need no other females in my life. If they are in their 30s and not moving to this point get out.
Even if he is innocent, it's still messed up to deal with that. He's purposely making your life fucked up. Even if he isn't banging her, he's thinking about banging her.
Why do people think that sex is the only way people can cheat?! They are having a relationship. An open one where both parties are probably thinking well if it doesn’t pan out with this one I have a back up but he’s basically dating 2 women with 1 we know for sure he is sleeping with and yes maybe this is only flaw she sees in him. She thinks if he only will open his eyes 👀 and see he doesn’t need this backup relationship but he’s not going to. Why would he?! He gets to eat his cake and eat it too. Also the ex girlfriend might not want him back BUT she also might not want him to move on. Or even to move on with someone better than her… that’s the way humans think. They are selfish and both parties are getting a confidence boost from having their ex still seek out their company. That tells you that both of them are still immature and not giving their current relationship the complete dive. They instead are using each other as a cushion.
Oh god this sounds like my bf’s ex, down to her asking all the time when we will have babies. He was honest about her being an ex and their relationship is very platonic now but wow.
Hate to break it to you but if your boyfriend still talks to his ex, no matter how "platonic" he says it is, it's not. They have feelings still. Take it from another guy he still wants her deep down
I think she doesn't want to leave him cause she knows she is running out of time and maybe he is too good for her (maybe good-looking or he got some moves that she is into) a lot of girls have to live with manipulation men like this cause they just can't find a better one. and of course, the man knows he is wanted so why not act like a Dk from time to time?
Exactly. She's getting older and she's probably scared she won't be able to find another guy so she being unreasonably accommodating. And the dude probably either knows this or simply doesn't care. I'm sure it's the latter if he can't even hide his obvious affection for this girl. What a damn shame. Dude clearly was not the one to end the previous relationship and the ex keeps him around as a back up.
she needs to drop him... He is not going to ever stop. Image if the roles were reversed and she had an ex who were still close, he would not be cool with it at all.
These comments are on on crack, there’s nothing wrong with someone being uncomfortable with super close friendships of the opposite sex ESPECIALLY when those two people used to be emotionally and physically intimate. It’s partially on her for staying so long and trying to change him instead of just leaving but she’s not immature or insecure, she simply has different deal breakers/ non negotiables.
She’s expecting him to give up someone he cares about. No one should ever do that for someone else. It doesn’t appear he’s hiding anything This is all about the writers insecurity.
@@papa_pt so many insecure men in this comment section. I have had many gf who were still friends with their exes. As am I with a couple of my exes. It means nothing. I build my relationships on trust. You? Seemingly you build yours on control.
It’s actually mature to be best friends with your ex if you guys ended things on mutual terms there’s a reason you got together in the first place. Similarities are how friends are created bill is an idiot here absolutely if you don’t have romantic feelings for your ex then it’s fine grow up people
You should be best friends with your partner. If you're not you have the wrong person. This is the dumbest shit ever. Be friends, be civil, but not BEST friends. You'd be happy if your girl went out alone with her best friend ex? I doubt it. I HIGHLY doubt it.
@@chidowuan4762 hey some people aren’t meant to date. Dating is tough. You’ll find that if you were to let’s say date your best guy friend you would probably find issues with the relationship even given your many similarities. Doesn’t mean you can’t go back to being great friends though
@@agirlisnoone5953 that’s the most stuck in a box dating advice I’ve ever heard should you also marry the first girl you sleep with? Yes you date for companionship it’s great but they do not need to be your number 1 friend they are your number 1 girlfriend/wife that’s what’s matter they’re above best friends and friends. If you don’t realize that than I’m sorry for you and your partner I’m not insecure so I’m friends with my ex and if my girl was too I’d have to trust her until there’s a reason not too like in this story it was a little sus not wanting to have a group was weird
Why is it so hard to understand that the opposite sexes can just be friends? My best friend is my ex and I can honestly say there’s no sexual interest.
Then why did you date? 🤔 This proves that there was an attempt regardless of how it turned out, you dont think that those thoughts still come up? You can obviously speak for you but not the other. This is simply about respect and its clear you dont have any.
I always view it as a massive green flag when people are friends with their exes. If you can't maintain a relationship of any sort with someone you planned on spending your life with that makes me concerned. You were in love with that person and you were happy to drop them as soon as you two stopped fucking or being romantic? That's immature as hell to me. And he's known this person for double the amount of time he has known his current gf. If he was bisexual would he not be allowed any male friends, either? I hate people thinking that if two people share a sexuality where they might be compatible they'll be unable to stay friends. Or exes. For me they're an ex for a reason and keeping in contact helps me to remember the ways we don't work as a couple. A lot of the way he speaks sounds fishy but we are hearing it through her filter. I'm faster to view her in the wrong because she just sounds jealous and possessive while dude could legit just have a friendship and have zero interest in her any longer but is dealing with a bunch of nonsense from the woman he has already picked.
Sounds like you might have been the ex but still friend at one poiint. I agree that its a green flag when someone doesn't talk bad about their ex but its a red flag if you cant move on from that relationship by dropping it. Even if you dont have feelings, the other might still. How could you love someone so profoundly and then never feel that again not even for a drunken night? Its too dangerous for future loyalty and for mental health. Just move on. It didnt work out.
@@d0meh1t lol at one point? I've always been that way. I've maintained friendships with the majority of my exes. Most of them are married now, some have their own children. We'll go get lunch and catch up. But I've known these people for decades and maybe you are still so young that knowing someone for more than a decade doesn't seem possible, let alone for a romantic relationship to have been over a decade ago. Any relationship, friendship or romantic or sexual, requires communication, such as if one party cannot handle it being platonic anymore.
@@MacabreMole Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. It honestly baffles me how people could do it the other way. Like how could you love someone so profoundly, and then just drop them from your life as if they were dead? Sounds like a bigger recipe for mental health problems. I think it’s totally possible to love your exes, but to not be in love with them.
@@MacabreMole id have to be 9 yrs old to be young enough to never know what its like to have a decade long relationship. come on, be fr. Why do you need to have lunch with a long lost lover who has their own family? It sounds lonely af to need to hang onto relationships that didnt work out. If you loved someone so deeply that you want them in your life forever, then stay with them and work through your issues. sounds like you just like to over romanticize every relationship you get into and then find it difficult to let them go forever.
*_I only expect 1 or 2 people reading this advice to "get it" due to being smart enough to, but "religiots" (guess what THAT means) wouldn't admit to "getting it", either due to a lack of common sense or pure hatred of my screen name:_* 🤨 *_While you're putting up with bad behavior, YOU DESERVE EVERY BIT OF IT. When you STOP 🛑 accepting it, then, YOU NO LONGER DESERVE IT. If you're a "serial dater" of people who treat you poorly, THEN, YOU HAVE MUCH DEEPER AND LONGER-RUNNING ISSUES THAN YOU REALIZE, THUS, YOU SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR SUCH TREATMENT._* 😐 *_Now, feel 🆓 to read 📖 (or skim through) as you wish and I ask that those smart 🧠 enough to" get it" hit 'Like' to indicate that you are 1⃣ of the few, the proud, the deeper thinkers of the bunch._* 😊
