@@SP-wk8xi lots of adopted people don't search because of the message they've been given by their adoptive parents. So much guilt and possessiveness... often unspoken. One word adopted people don't like is "gratitude." It is implied and often believed that an adopted person should be grateful for where they ended up, separated from everything that should have been theirs.
I had a former coworker who gave her child up for adoption. The adoptive parents always kept in touch and continued to send the bio mother photos and letters. The adoptive parents never felt threatened by maintaining the relationship with the bio mother. The communication gave the bio mother peace-of-mind knowing that her child was safe and well taken care of.
As an adoptee who at 53 found my biological family. He explains it so well. Not looking for a family but who genetically do I get my nose from, my legs, my hair……he said it perfectly ❤️
@@keithhoss4990 You have a Beautiful Heart. Sending you and your Family, Love Light and Many Blessings to you and your Family. Best wishes from Australia. 🙏🏼🌹
As a mother who gave up her child for adoption many years ago cuz I was so young and I love hearing about these stories.. my son and I reconnected 5 years ago.
Him being so open about mental health made me emotional. A lot of us are struggling during COVID and he spoke up when a lot of us don't. I'm happy he has support ❤
I doubt his mental health and depression is just related to covid. He's been missing his mother his entire life. Adoptees commit suicide at a rate 4x higher than the general population. #adoptionistrauma
Very true, Made me emotional too. COVID did quite a number on my teenage daughter. I love her so much it hurts me seeing her go through it. She’s getting help and even though we hit some bumps in the road she’s doing better. I just pray that this all passes. Love you my pretty girl and like I’ve always told you… momma will always be there for you! ❤️
Oh that's awesome! They all have the same smile! The birth mom and the mom who raised him actually kinda look alike too! And they work at the same place!
They understand. They know it’s coming and they prepare themselves. Trust me, she’s not sad by it at all. She’s supportive and she knew this day would come. I’m adopted and I know this all to well.
Wonderful story of a woman who chose to be a mom and gave her child a chance to have a life with a loving family. That is awesome and shows an unselfish human. How proud she must be to see her child be surrounded by love.
She was 15 when she gave birth, that may mean she was 14 when she was raped!! She wasn’t a woman she was a teen. So being raped means nothing. Her parents turn their backs on her! What about the man responsible for raping her!!
You should hear the horror stories of teens who are abused and neglected in foster homes. Adoptive parents have been the reason why many of them struggle with mental illness.
@@New-jb1tc newborn adoptions and the Foster system are completely different entities. If you want to use these marginalized children for whatever agenda you're trying to get at you could at least treat them with dignity and respect and not suggest they'd be better off not born.
Wow hearing him speak about having twice the love and support was so heartwarming. What a good hearted man who deserves all the best in life. God bless him and his two families!!💖
Great story!Tomorrow is actually my 30 year anniversary of being reunited with my birth mother.I was 22 when we met. I like Ben always longed to have a connection with someone that you can only get genetically. I carried around a heart that had a hole in it.Once we reunited, the hole was filled,I no longer felt adopted or like I didn't fit in.Hats off to Angela for being so understanding, my adopted mom was not supportive at all. I wish you all many years together, with lots of new memories.
@@melindaunknown6411 thanks.And you are so right.Adopted mom(knowing full well when adopting that this could happen someday)just went totally nuts,making it all about her and her perceived notions.Accusing biological mom of coming after our money(what money?) and accusing me of planning on deserting my adopted family to go live with new family.(thought never crossed my mind until she started acting crazy) We could have all come together to share stories and pictures and important information (my bio-mom had so many questions for her about me when I was growing up) Instead my mom had to be weird and make me feel like I was doing something horribly wrong just to spite her. I'm so over her behavior. I'm on my way to go visit bio mom today with a big bouquet of flowers,and have a nice visit with the only person in this world(besides my own kids)that I feel a connection with.
@@cherylbarnard5621 had a similar experience as a teenager, was told I wouldn’t want to know her if I knew what type of person she was. At 16 I had the worst year of my life with adoptive mom at that time (been many more in adulthood), she put me out because I asked to stay out until 10 instead of dark which is like 4-5pm in the winter here. Long story short I attempted to find my mother while gone, but didn’t know her name or that she was really close in a nearby city inside Detroit called Highland Park. I eventually went back home, fast forward to about 7 years ago, I found out she died that year in the fall when I was 16, she held the key to my identity because she is the only person who knew my fathers name. My adoptive family never accepted me due to me being adopted and lite skin black, and my adoptive mother black sheeped me. So here I am a single mother no family, all by myself. Your blessed to meet them no matter the back story you know where you came from. I think they’re narcissistic, because it was all about her and how things made her feel.
@@msscottrellable thank you for sharing.I'm so very sorry you never got to meet her,or find out the identity of your father.I can only imagine how heartbroken you must have been. When you had the urge to find her as a teen maybe some forces from deep within were trying to alert you that her time was running out,I know now how strong genetic connections can be,even if separated for many years.I feel for you about being the black sheep and not accepted into the family you were forced to be with.I always felt the same,all my life,not only from adopted family,but it happened with biological family as well,I only ever see my bio mom now,when first reunited she tried so hard to insert me into every family event,and it got overwhelming, and I could sense I didn't fit in with them as well.So while I do have family on both sides,mom and dad,adopted and biological, i still feel alone,on my own. My adopted mom had no business being a Mother,she hasn't a motherly instinct in her body,and is very much a Narcissist. Fake AF.no empathy.Expects everyone to fawn over her.We have zero in common except our last name. My bio mom ,made a smart move giving me up,as she has no motherly instincts either.But at least we have similarities, she understands my mental health issues,because she has them too,and we share a lot of the same interests,hobbies and habits.She's more like an older sister. I hate that you are all alone.If you ever want to communicate more,plz reach out ,we could swap similar stories of our youth growing up as adoptees, Come back to this thread,or find me on FB under the name Cheryl Barnard,in Brantford, Ontario Canada.(Kye Cameron is my youngest son) FB and RU-vid are the only 2 things I use.
As a birthmother, how beautiful!❤️. I wanted my son! Everyone else convinced me I wasn’t worthy enough to raise him. I was 17. He turns 17 next month. I got to meet him last year❤️. Best day of my life!! In this video when he says, “I struggle a lot with like mental health issues and depression and so having that extra love in my life is honestly exactly what I needed to get me through a lot of the hardest times of my life. The past couple years have been really hard for me so this came at the exact time in my life when I needed it.” So true for my first son! That’s why his adoptive mother reached out. Because he was struggling and she hoped it would help. And you bet it has! Not just for him, but for me so much too! Who knew we were both struggling with similar mental health issues at the same time (and I didn’t have a history of it- I grew up in a great two parent household- no abuse, plenty of love/money) and how we both didn’t want to be here anymore. And that reuniting has healed us both more than we ever imagined! He grew up with great parents. I married and had three more sons. But we just can’t be replaced. He was never supposed to be taken from me❤️
Great story, as an adoptee,I am still searching for my birth mom for 47 years. She was young so names change, but I'm still looking. Happy he only had to wait 20 years. Blessings.
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He looks more like his adoptive Mom, than his birth mother. As an adoptee, I found my birth mother. She and her family are wonderful, but my family is my family. My Mom is my Mom.
@@stephaniegamble3571 RIGHT!!! I’m an adoptive mom too and my heart breaks for this mama!! My kids are my kids, blood doesn’t mean a thing, love does. My girls are my whole world and I am theirs… I just want to be enough for my girls… if one day they wanted to find bio it would break my heart.. just because a woman lays down and makes a baby doesn’t mean she is a mom… we are the moms!
I LOVE THIS… THANK YOU THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS… I’m ugly crying. I want my girls to feel exactly as you do… I want to be enough.. I can only hope that they have no desire to ever meet her because that would break me. I have had my babies from birth and I AM THEIR MOM. Blood isn’t everything. I’m so proud of YOU. YOUR mommy is lucky to have YOU.
@@janaesworld3069 what? In most cases the moms literally risked death and made a huge painful decision to give their children a better life , it is OKAY for them to grow up and find their biological family , regardless of circumstances, it doesn’t make you any less their mother , it makes you bitter keeping them or guilt tripping them away from the people that gave them life . You need to find peace with that . Because you might be giving them a life to live . But she gave them the first chance at their life .
This is such a beautiful story and god knows we need some good news these days! It was no coincidence that they worked at the same place. The universe makes sure we are just where we need to be at the right time. Much love to all!
The adopted mother is amazing and her hand is dark like her adopted son's. She's a great mother and deserves their love and respect. I guess the dad is moved on .so glad ☺ for biological mom reaching out to her birth son.she owed him a Happy Birthday sweet Recognition 💗 blessings 🙏 and well being to both moms and son as well as his siblings ❤
You can tell that Angela is an absolute angel and is an amazing parent! this is probably not easy for her to process but is very supportive. that is a very loving parent
I think the Adopted mother . Is an Angel like her name Angela is . She is so brave . And raised such an amazing kid . I have my golden retriever to a rescue . And they didn’t let me know who the family was that took him . And that’s about a Dog. She is super unselfish and made the best decisions for her son . And I’m also supportive of the biological mum for being so strong to do best for her child in giving him a better future then she was able too at the time . Also unselfish !!! Like the Son says he is lucky times 2. Hope they continue on this path .
IN MY VIEW It is great that this young man is reunited with his mother and this mother is reunited with her son. I think the REAL Hero is this adopted mother who has always loved her son SECURELY knowing that their mother/son love for each other will always be enough.❤️
An adopted child will always wonder where they came from and would want to know their heritage, who they look like, do they have relatives, as well as who are the biological parents. It doesn't always work out, but this was an open adoption and an expected result and I'm so glad it turned out wonderful for all of them. He is so right when he says he has double the love and support.
So sweet , he has his birth moms smile & nose . Incredible they work in the same hospital but never connected. Wonder what character traits they share .
I loved that the lovely interviewer asked Angela a few questions at the end to make her feel more included....it was very perceptive and I think needed......
There is no pain greater than that of a mother relinquishing her baby to a stranger. She does so because she feels inadequate, that the baby would have a better life with someone else. Not because this is what she wants. No birth mom wants to relinquish- it’s an extremely difficult decision to live with and can become unresolved grief. It is my wish that all birth moms get all the help they need in terms of support and non judgmental support. And Benjamin is right he has twice the love and two Moms and it would be wonderful if all adoptees welcomes their first moms with such understanding and love
I love this message so very much! As a birth mother we hardly ever get the acknowledgment of our pain from others. There’s always so much empathy for adoptive mothers and rarely any for birth mothers. And I also happen to be at a marriage and family therapist. It is rare that I’ve met a birth mother who didn’t love or want her child. We were just made to believe we weren’t good enough. All the insecurities the adoptive child grows up feeling are the insecurities we were made to feel when we were pregnant.
@@BoyMama87 Thank you for your acknowledgment. We cannot celebrate and we cannot grieve, yet we are a mother that carried loved and gave birth, and never stopped loving. . The grief can be unbearable. It’s so easy to carry shame and that can tear you up.
My older half brother was placed for adoption back in 1986 in Alabama. Crazy thing is, before finding out about him at 12 I always wished I had an older brother. Hope to meet him one day
I found my family at 40 yrs. My adopted parents had no surviving relations and I always wanted to know my roots. Now knowing the answers I feel a wholeness that was never there before.
As a birth mother I love this with all my heart❤️. I got to meet my first son a year ago. He will be 17 in two weeks. I feel like he would say the same thing. It’s been evident the last few years that he and I have had this huge hole in our hearts and meeting each other has filled that. He’s had a great adoptive mom and I have three other sons. But they just do not replace each other. ❤️
What a beautiful well spoken boy! A wonderful story and journey that they can all come back together and reunite and rise above everything and use unconditional love and support and that he loves and considers and appreciates all the people in his life standing behind him just awesome a person can not be loved to much or have to much love in their life
mothers are so amazing! So many people grew up with Families who are fights over who is the better parent and these two women show what Loving and caring is all about .I love them both
He's going to be ok now. He has his mommies. Can't lie I bawled. I struggle with identity and stuff due to both of my parents dying at two different times but before I was even 4.
This is so awesome I have lost contacts with my cousin on my dad’s side for 30 years and thanks to Facebook in 2019 we made contact with each other’s it it was such a great joy for both of us so I can just imagine how you all feels when you met your mom 🙏
She is trying to be supportive but as an “adoptive” mom (I hate saying that btw cuz I am my kids REAL MOM) it has to be breaking her into pieces cuz that’s her baby boy through and through..
Angela did her job raising this boy and was truthful since the beginning. Holly was so young and immature had the courage to give up her son for his well-being! I know she probably thought of him constantly it's a mother's nature! Young man please take care of that situation of depression let it not be part of you seek help. Now you have more reason to stay healthy and enjoy your 2 mom's! A new chapter of what life will bring stay sober through this journey! I don't hear anything about the father maybe another story🤷♀️. Jesus help this family!
The adoptive mother didn't just raise him like a job, she IS his mother. The other woman, regardless of her intentions when she put him up for adoption, is the genetics donor. The one who actually raises the child and does the mothering is the true mother. I felt sorry for her. They treated her like, "Thanks for helping out for 20 years (doing your job), but now we're back together again," like she was just used and discarded. Really sad.
Definitely Angela was a good momma. Benjamin seems like such a beautiful young man. And Holly, though I'm sure it was very painful, did what was best for her child. Bless all! 🌺
The adopted mother should get more credit. The kid, why be so anxious to find his birth mother; he was fortunate to have been adopted by a loving family.
So beautiful when everyone is brought together and so loved by both sides, how it should be. He has the potential and the support to be successful in his future. Good luck and God bless all of you
What a lovely young man! His mom and dad did a wonderful job raising him. Congratulations to all! I hope the rest of your lives will be happier together.💝💝
Holly made a very selfless decision to give her child a very good life. And a woman that couldn’t have a baby the most incredible gift of all time ❤️❤️❤️ lots of love to all of them🤗🥰
Reunited with my older brother after 17 years apart. The day before we met again, I saw him, he was raking leaves at the local mall and as my mom and I drove passed, we waved at each other not even knowing until the day after that we were brothers... Happy for you benjamin!
I was adopted. My parents told me from the time before I could remember that I was adopted. When I got a little older, they started telling me about all the rest. It’s kind of a dramatic story and long so I will skip it today. I’m so glad they raised me like that.
I LOVE this!!! I hope my daughters always know that no amount of blood could ever replace the LOVE I have for them. I didn’t have bio kids and I would never ever love a bio kid more then I love my babies born in my heart and soul.
this is wonderful. God is wonderful to get this family back together thank you God. the pics of the family looks like there a gradian angel in the pic. white streaks across the film . this is so wonderful
What an amazing story, wow! I also praise this Adopted mother , big respect to her! may God bless u all three and especially this young man, may God bless u richly and send u a good loving wife and bless u with a family! cherish and treasure these two woman especially your ADOPTED mom, remember - she was the one who raised you! bless her heart with good health and long years of life!
Two BEAUTIFUL Women to LOVE you!!! one heart you grew under the other you grew in 🌹🙏🙏 BLESS you both for two different acts of Love, kindness & thoughtfulness
