I am a black woman too and men don't approach me either. It's makes me sad sometimes like I am not pretty enough, even though I look in the mirror and think I look fine.
You are fine! I found that it helps me to surround myself with healthy girl friendships and to go out on girl dates to the movies, shopping, and getting our nails done! I also make sure to continue pursuing my goals as a filmmaker, and I try to be kind when interacting with guys but not too eager or naive. I’m sure your prince is soon to come 😊💙 thank you for commenting!
You probably are fine. Just to give you some male perspective, when a black woman (or any woman) makes eye contact with me in public, at work, or wherever and I smile and she smiles back in a flirty way, I will be more inclined to approach. This happened a couple years ago at work with a very cute black woman, I felt she gave me the okay to go up and talk to her at her cubicle, and I did, and we then dated. It literally just happened yesterday at the Angels game, a cute black woman made eye contact and smiled at me and I smiled back. Too bad she was with her co-workers otherwise I would have gone up to her. Try making eye contact and smiling at men you find attractive, no matter where you are, and he will be more inclined to approach. No words are even needed. It’s a low-risk way of getting men to approach you, plus it’s always fun to flirt with attractive strangers 😁.
I’m a Black man and I love sisters. I would however recommend making yourself more approachable. Many sisters are frankly hard to approach and they know if but don’t change. Also BW won’t listen to a BM when it comes what we like. Just a thought.
As a Black Woman with childhood abuse trauma I am love starved my whole life and it isn't easy dating trying to find a connection to love and be loved.
I feel so personally attacked when she said "It's so hard now to meet people naturally when one, we're all ✨socially awkward✨" like help cause it's so true 😭😭😭
I feel so sorry for the Gen Z generation. The dating scene for black women is very hard. Idk if you’re in college but that’s usually a place where black men and women date more but not necessarily the case. I blame Society and social media to brain wash a lot of black men to not date black unambiguous women.
Men’s attraction to certain types of women are not influenced by social media. Men do not follow the socially acceptable behavior when it mes to desire. Some women mistakenly believe men choose women using the same criteria women use to choose men.
My mom and my sister don't understand this. They both think I'm having the time time of my early 20's getting approach by different guys, going on dates, having amazing sex, and I'm not doing a single one of these things. The reality is I never get an approach, and it seems like there is nobody that wants me.
@@R_W_Goodson first let me ask are you black? In the black community there is a thing called colorism that absolutely applies to who you date and plays into what can be “acceptable or desirable”. Social media absolutely plays a part as well as influence around them. So many of these black male entertainers date white or unambiguous because of this.
@@disorientedbutterfly don’t get discouraged. There is nothing wrong with you. I know it’s easier said than done but honestly once you focus on yourself and do what you need to do for your life the POSITIVE male attention will come when you’re least expecting it. You may be sparing yourself a lot of not so good men which is a good thing.
Social media has made your lives terrible. I’m 43, so I grew up in “normal” times before social media melted everyone’s brains. I genuinely feel sorry for you all, but y’all gotta put the IG, TikTok, Tinder, etc. away for good. It’s unhealthy.
Ma'am, with all due respect, but THIS SHIP HAS SAILED LONG AGO! Men had been so brutally bashed in social media that now the confidence of men is just GONE! ITS OVER! Sorry, but the age now is that WOMAN must now start the courtship...
black women your not alone asian men go thru the same thing in their home countries theirs been studies done in asia in certain areas that asian women as a whole prefer white men over asian men so some asian men dont even get love by their women in their own home country
we as men feel the exact same way as you do when we pursue women. all my serious relationships were with women who pursued me. the women i had hook ups with i always approached.
Men don't approach much in this day and age. The dating apps that came along in 2014 have completely ruined everything. Before that men had to approach because there was no other way
@@ConservativeAnthem I still approach women every time I leave the house. Women who I approach have a certain look and dress a certain way. I don't like em to dressed up nor too prude looking. I like em showing skin
You are cute and seem super easy to talk to. I would totally approach you. From a male perspective when a cute black woman like yourself (or any cute woman) makes eye contact with me and smiles, I feel safe to approach. This literally just happened to me yesterday. It’s a low-risk way for you to flirt without being the initiator, and it gives the guy the ok to approach you. If the guys your age are still to shy, I’d consider a bit older maybe men in their late 20’s / early 30’s if the age gap doesn’t bother you.
@@nicolecato634 you just caught them off guard, men don’t expect it. If you do it someplace where you both will be hanging around awhile, they will soon after approach you.
Hi! i saw this video on my home page and i understand where you are coming from, i feel like depending on how i am dress and how am i am feeling in that moment boost my chances of men coming up to me because one day i will have no guys approach me and then other days multiple so i feel like how you feel internally is A big factor also with guys staring i use to ignore them now i say hi with a smile and that usually starts a conversation. some guys (especially that are not black) are just nervous and need some sort of confirmation to start a conversation.
Im glad that you're discussing this topic so that younger women can relate and get involved in the conversation. This is a conversation that needs to be had especially in our community. I share similar content on my channel & in my private Facebook. I would love to discuss this topic with you via a LIVE if you're interested 💁🏾♀️
I understand dating can sometimes be frustrating but there is absolutely nothing wrong with approaching a guy. Just like ladies, guys can be just as shy and nervous.
I have never been meaningfully asked out I always asked out guys in middle and high school. I've been rejected every single time and now have basically no self esteem. I will NEVER EVER ask a guy out again. That's why I advocate for girls not to ask guys out especially black girls cause most likely you'll only get pain.
@@hachi7100 some advice I'm most likely a little older than you. get in the vicinity of people who like similar things to you, similar age group and where you are the preference. typically in concentrated areas of your own ethnicity and educational background district. use eye contact, be smiley and approachable. casually bring up places you like to push for a date, boys are very socially awkward nowadays and don't wanna come off as a serial killers. also look your best sorry if this sounds a little shallow but your goal is to garnish attention you don't have to put too much makeup or exposed too much of your physique but you don't have to look like a nun.
Never approach a guy. Ask a question in a subtle suggestive way maybe…but please do not be the aggressor or initiator. He will get a big head and think he can do better than you even if he is uglier than a pit bull. I promise you.
The problem with this specific situation (not being approached) is that a lot of girls are just not showing attraction. At the very least you guys could smile or make eye contact. That’s all it takes imo
Zoomer men don't approach women like millennials and even they are slowly doing same. Just try talking to an average man that likes anime and niche hobbies. And a decent job too.
Honey don't limit yourself to just black Americans, date who treats you right and admires you for the prize you are...remember you are the prize and they are lucky to date you...🌞🌻😀
Sometimes men don’t wanna approach. Sometimes we just wanna go to the museum & see the pictures on the wall. & that’s fine. Right. We are not trying to approach everyone in our mist. That would be fatiguing. Since we are put in position to make the initiative then we rightfully get to approach when we feel it necessary. Let me say this, limiting yourself by putting on lipstick & then glueing yourself onto a public wall is not going to be enough. Understand what being approachable is & how to be.approachable. & if you think there is something off putting about you find out what it is. Cute pretty women can be very off putting too. Cuteness will not save you from that.
Men are not shy. I had a millionaire guy that I was dating tell me that when I tried to get his friend a gf. “When I want something I go after it, we go after it” I think that’s what turned him off but I learned from it. Men are the pursuers. He had to ask me out 3 times to get a date. Make them chase. What is easy to get is easy to leave. They like challenges 💕💕
What I would say is that you don't need to pursue a man but you could set up a way so that they think that they pursued you which. Is to have a conversation and to speak to people regularly.
My ex wife approached me first. She walked up to me at this all black synagogue I use to go too. I was 30 she was 18 and she asked me for my number. My high school sweetheart approached me like she got my number with out me giving it to her and just started calling me. Men approach women all the time but it's only certain types of women we go for
Showing interest and being aggressive aren't necessarily the same thing. On bumble you still have to match with a person so there is mutual interest. A simple "hey it's nice to match" could lead to a deeper conversation.
When I was in college I had guys approach me they were the wrong ones. Since I am in my 30s I barely get anyone approaching me. And it makes me feel like am I not pretty enough or don't have the perfect body is my hair to kinky curly am I to dark. I haven't introduce my parents to anyone. I have never had someone propose to me spoil me nothing. I see other black men going over and beyond for other race of women. When it comes to me as a black women i don't get the same treatment at all. I'm really thinking about giving up on love. The kind of man i desire doesn't want me or find me attractive at all. Thanks for the video.
I recommend looking outside of American culture. I met a Korean guy and he thinks I'm the cutest thing with my natural hair sticking up crazy when i wake up 😂😂😂 They dont have that stereotype of us ( some do but most don't). They just see us as women.❤❤
@@genovasquez8361 really??? I have not had that experience i have been here 46 years lol even when i have a head scarf on and running to the car these men are something 😭🤣
@@gedditoffyachest2178 agreed, Hannahs Comment "God will send you the right person on the right time " is the attitude that is keeping them down with only 1 in 4 black women being married. By her logic God has not sent 75% of black women a man
@11:20 She said she is not looking for long term commitment. Just looking for 3 months or so for the “experience”. (Yet a man is expected to chase these types)
The reason men are not approaching women is because we are for the most part strictly "vetting" the women we take interest. I do not speak for all men but simply explaining the mindset. Men like myself have a diminishing interest in women for multiple factors so when we do approach, we want to make sure it's someone we can actually connect with. Men are pretty lax on what they find attractive so ladies please don't assume it's your looks specifically.
Be flirty with the person that you're interested in. Show a little interest. A lot of men don't want to feel like they're bothering you. Bumble doesn't work because women refuse to put effort in starting a conversation. They start out with "hey", the very thing that they hate from guys.
Your mom is right. Don't ever initiate with a guy, it shows you lack options and communicates that you're not a "high value woman" as Kevin Samuels puts it. Women with choices don't pursue men, and pursuing a man will always make you look sus, it's like a zebra coming straight to a lion.. the lion might run away
So there are men around her, she just doesn't like them. Is this actually about the "right guys" not approaching her and not that nobody is approaching her?
The main character guys that women want, have 75+% of available women pursuing them, and they have too many options to approach. Modern culture has allowed the type of men women most want to sit around lazy and let the women line up
I’m here for the hair! Please don’t take the advice of the men in these comments. They will lead you astray. Ask a woman whom you admire and who is married in real life about this.
After watching the whole video my perspective as a white guy in is early thirties, is men enjoy being approaced. Sure it may throw us off at 1st,still we find it flattering since it doesn't happen often if at all.And your mom is only half right,yes be friendly and inviting to men, but dont keep men as platonic friends because a majority of the time if he's not your family or gay, he wants something and is waiting and wanting to make a move, and if you aren't attracted to said male friend(s) romantically, i suggest you do the right thing don't lead them on or string them along for attention,and leave them alone.Lastly, I know your young you want have fun and everything's new to you, still these are your prime years as a woman and if you want a family dont have short lived relationsips, they leave you with nothing but regrets, and baggage. Date for the purpose to find a husband, because biologically women have a short window to have children before you lose your eggs for good,and having a child out of wed lock with a man that just wanted to hook up most likely wont stick around.
Sigh. I feel the same girl. The sad thing is, sometimes I like a guy they don’t like me back anyway 😂 I ain’t trying to embarrass myself in these streets by asking a man out ‼️😓 if he likes you he will approach. Sigh. Question- why would anyone’s mom be jealous of them lol? I live that you have a great relationship with your mom, but I didn’t k is jealous mothers were a thing?
What do you mean 3 months and have fun? Like casual sex? Honestly sis you sound selfish. What if the guy like your more then that and you know it you still gonna date him? Like it’s about more then only what you want-then only your feelings. There is another person involved.
Women have pursued men since there has been men and women. The problem is today women think pursuing a man is "shooting your shot". That's your problem. That is a masculine trait. A masculine strategy. It has masculine energy. As a woman you simply place yourself in his sphere. In his proximity. He will respond. 11:25 Having fun. Ok. But consider this. Say you are twenty years old. You win 300 grand in the lottery. You have two choices. You can buy a house and have no mortgage or you can go to Monte Carlo and blow it all in one of the the most enjoyable fun filled binges you could ever hope to have. Which do you take? I'm not saying which one you should choose but that decade between 20 and 30 is like getting 300 grand free.
You need to be ok approaching a man. Closed mouths don’t get fed. Many men don’t feel comfortable approaching women anymore because of MeToo as well as getting curved publically. I’m not here to argue if that’s right or wrong it is what it is. Sounds like your ego is in the way. You’ll be alone forever if you keep this mindset.
I have no problem approaching a black woman to date that i like and black women should not be uncomfortable to appoarch me if they like ME I am cool with it
I may be too old for this forum In the 80s and 90s when i approached women ......the traditional way We men get shot down infront ur girlfriends friends in public places all over and some embarresed and shamed ...... Many young decent men i know in thier 20s refuse to approach women any more only the players approach They are tired of the rejection so the woman and thier girlfriends who cock block are responsible for this situation so live with it ........ Women want a traditional approach but for a modern women cant work The men look ........but do not approach for fear of being embarrassed ......has nothing to do wid confidence just cant be bothered with the stress......
I think we need to go to different page. Yarkees sometimes travel go to different countries and we'll get different experiences and that's just the honest truth westernized men are very Western eyes and actually there. Are more feminists than we are?Westernized men are actually more feminist in certain ways than women are. And i'm saying that in terms of the sexual liberation of women and then not doing a lot of work is the part of feminism that they like
You are simply a beautiful woman and you don't have to change anything you are beautiful and smart everything that I love and I am looking forward to if I was your friend I would be proud to show you off like the gorgeous woman that you are dating a white man they are different from the guys that you have dated and I would love to be able to show you how awesome I feel when I date beautiful woman and I would be proud to show you off. Free your mind and you will succeed you are simply a beautiful woman and you should get treated as a foxy lady
Cold approaching women in today’s climate is not very wise. You have to give us choosing signals for us to approach you. That’s the only way I’m going to speak.
Don’t want to deal with or too lazy to deal with? The drama y’all speak of is when she wants you to provide and take care of her. That’s a man’s natural job..no? The drama only comes when he fails to do it and lacks masculinity in general. Which says more about BM as a whole than you think.
As a men, I will jump here and tell the problem from OUR perspective: THE OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF WOMAN BASHING MEN FOR MERELY EXISTING SIMPLY DESTROYED MEN'S CONFIDENCE IN ALL ASPECTS CONCERNING DATING - combine this with the backlash of #metoo and Tiktok videos yelling at men that they "must not approach woman", the "bear" stuff, dating apps showing that 80% of men are considered not attractive, the absurdly high expectations that woman demand from a partner, and more, well, this simply just ends up in a simple result: we men LISTENED YOUR REQUEST. Sorry to be brutal about this, but unfortunately that is the fact out there, and no amount of begging will make us men change. This is the future you woman created, and now, this is the consequences...
Your mum telling you to fraternise with other men and gain a bunch of benefits is horrible, you know men see that and notice you have what we see as 'paypigs' and perpetual 'friends' that may become something if the benefits keep coming but really she is never going to be with him. Men will put you in the 'girlfriend but never wife' category.
When you pursue men it becomes the narrative of your relationship. Meaning many? Don't put an? Effort after. That? And you don't want? To be with a man that doesn't put ever or didn't? Really. Like? You. But just stumbled upon you
This is horrible advice, and you contradict yourself. You say guy’s don’t like being approached but you say you lose interest. Maybe it’s you listen to your own words lol it’s crazy how you’re tryna blame men smh
If we talk to you we are creepy right, I don't know too many bros that want to weather that false rape allegation. Shyness have nothing to do with it, women have spoken and men have listened, you don't wanna be bothered, and we ain't trying to handle you or go to prison.
And I don't mean to offend any of the lovely ladies in this comment section, but as a Black man, my experience with approaching Black women has not exactly been very well. Most Black women have the tendency to inadvertently give off masculine energy and/or come across condescending at times. Now I'm not saying I've had this experience with every Black woman, to the contrary, I've had full-blown relationships with a few. But generally speaking, Black women are the hardest women to approach. I think this is indirectly done by some Black women, and for those few, I would have to say that it's best to just lighten up a bit. And I don't mean that in a shabby way, it's just that Men, Black Men in particular, are looking for chill girls.
In my experience, this is true. And the reason why I’m like this is, when I’m nice and friendly, men who I’m not interested in see it as flirting. And in my experience, a lot of black men see nice girls as a target and it’s a hassle to get these types of men to leave you alone. The type that don’t respect a woman can say no without an explanation. I know for facts, this is the attitude for a lot of black women. You have to admit that some black men are a lot more aggressive than other races of men. It’s a defense mechanism.
@@Bond_MrsBondThey don’t ever tell that part. A lot of BW don’t walk around with a smile bc random black men will approach you, and they WILL take advantage. Sometimes they get super aggressive. They’ll walk right by Becky and beeline it to a black women to harass. It’s actually crazy bc they know exactly who to target
@@ninagrace-lee8323 yup, certain people just spread the narrative that we are hard and mean and masculine but don’t ask why we may come across that way in the first place. Essentially for safety reasons. Like scarring off a bear, you have to make yourself look bigger 😂
I think you women do a good job portraying yourselves as aggressive, argumentative and masculine; don't blame media, hold yourself and your sisters accountable. Have you considered asking men what they want? Have you considered how harsh some of your counterparts are to men who attempt to talk to them? have you considered that because of #metoo guys are more cautious......you are getting the safe world you women want. You sound lazy. People get what they work for. everything you said about approaching men feel too, we learn to swallow hard and hope for the best. Men are less likely to approach you if you go out with 3 or 4 girl friends
Because a lot of bw have nasty bad attitudes their not being feminine now days they have that love and hip-hop mentality but you seem genuine and nice so shouldn’t have a problem if you like a guy say something
Black women that has nothing to do with you being pretty y'all are very gorgeous black men in particular are sick and tired of the trash as attitude and even if it's not you with the attitude too many women before you have f***** it up and not enough of you are trying to change The narrative of the way the world look at you it's bad when your own man has given up
I wish more women would shoot the shot first. Today most men dont say hey anymore. We men are not shy, its more that men are now more on guard because now it feels like women are more on guard.
It’s because of the gender wars now. Black men have stepped away from even speaking to black women from what I’ve seen and approaching them. The good dudes pretty much don’t want to get rejected and clowned for even showing interest. That’s just what I’ve seen
