BOUNDARIES - Setting them and sticking to them - TMI PODCAST KE - EPISODE 20 

I set a boundary at work with my female boss. She would talk to me with so much disrespect after messing up something, or sometimes there would be no mistake at all but she didn't know how to establish the truth first before scolding. So by the time she's realizing that there is no mistake she's already said very nasty stuff and hurt my feelings. One day I stopped her on her tracks and asked her to never ever speak to me again if she cannot do it respectively. I told her that speaking to me with respect didn't strip her off her boss position and if she wasn't able to, she could always send me emails/texts if she needed to talk to me. That's how we communicate to-date. 3 years down the line. We only talk when we must and that's probably once in a month or none at all even though we are in the same office every day. Now I'm happy coz I do not have to spend days on end feeling bad about hurtful words she's said to me.

"It doesn't matter what I tolerated in the past... TRY. ME. TO-DAY!!!!!!!!"

Am crying after Jo set the boundary 😭😭I admire your friendship

Guys I literally shed a tear when you guys had that boundary moment ..Thank you lydia for holding that safe space for morugi.. I have no old friends in my life because I suck at setting boundaries..I have in the past dealt with any form of persistent discomfort/ betrayal brought on by friends by cutting them off without having any conversation.I now wish I had handled some of them differently.

My successful story . I have literally evolved. I Hand a tendency of saying yes to a lot of people. Now. I choose myself everyday . I really like. My growth also TMI you have taught me a lot . Thanks ladies.

Murugi's eyes 😂😂what's up they just caught my attention.Anywah the time Lydia says friendship then murugi laughs hysterically 😂😂

I set a boundary not so long ago. I had this habit of always lending people money. Like people eventually would run to me whenever they wanted money. So I actually first set a boundary with myself, to be conscious of my money habits. I later told a couple of friends and they took it well.☺️

I thought I was sensitive, not normal, taking so much crap from people close to me, set boundaries and they get mad that I can't take any more....but now I've been affirmed.🤗 The right people will align. My feelings are valid. Period.

Murugi I hear you on that boundary about your husband communicating when he's coming home late. Mimi I also had to do it one day he told me he was in Westy alafu my friend calls to tell me ameona gari yake Athi River (these are examples). It was the period of Riverside blast, so I just asked him, say for example you were at Riverside and you communicated you were there, I'd know where to find you. But ulisema uko Riverside, bomb ime explode, mimi am here going mad, kumbe uko Athi River!? Also if anything happens (God forbid) and your family are looking for you. We're married alafu am there saying "he told me he was in Westy", I will look like a fool and a suspect with ulterior motives 🙄 So we agreed; if you go out and change locations, communicate. If you'll be home late, communicate. If you're missing dinner communicate. Since then it's worked perfectly.

I had a moment of tears when you had your boundary setting moment ❤️❤️❤️ another level of friendship unlocked I love you guys

I’m just at minute 3:24 and I am just in awe of Murugi’s weight loss! It shows so much and you look great girl! Ok let me continue

Why I'm I shedding tears while you are setting boundaries...I admire your friendship

The boundary that I had to set was with my mum. It was after form four, I was around 18. She would borrow me cash saying she will pay back but when it was time to pay back she would pull the 'African mum' card on me..asking "what about the food that you eat in this house?" One day I told her that I would need her to pay me back because that was my savings and it would be a set back for me. It was difficult but I had to do it.

Well about friendship boundaries, I had to let go of my first-ever female BFF of 10 years last year and trust that was the toughest decision I had to do make. I communicated but how it was approached, honestly nope that was the end. I usually find it so hard to communicate boundaries and I thought my BFF would want me happier and comfortable. Honestly, I grew after it but boy was it hard.

I went back to therapy last year September and boundaries was one of the things we worked on. Still work in progress. Like Murugi asked, 'why are we so quick to betray ourselves?'

In friendship boundaries.. You always find in a clique of friends there is always like a leader and you never choose her/him but you will always find everyone(in the group) looking up to him/her in terms of making a group decision or choosing something or whatever that group is for... And people don't air it out so he/she makes the final decision ... I wanna say its rather unhealthy and groups should set that boundary with the person because ....they tend to feel more superior and you can't do a lot when he/she ain't there ....set a boundary with such groups they control most of your life....

Am I the only who's used to seeing Murugi seated on the right hand side of the set and Lydia on the left? Every time they switch up, my mind alerts me there's been a change😂😂

This month has been intense for me because I just let people walk all over me. My breakthrough came after I decided to communicate. It was difficult to communicate because they are family and friends but I did it (scared but I did it). After the conversation my heart was all over the place and all ofcourse because I thought they think I am being selfish but today I woke up feeling better my mantra today has been " Its not about them but me. I am protecting me and I did what I had to do". Thank you TMI for all these talks. Ever since I started watching and following you guys I feel like I have friends who understand me and they want me to be better. Thank you for being so real and true.

I set a boundary during my birthday that I was going to invite the close people to my heart just a few that count, then my bff invited her friend that I didn't know, when she called me to ask I was very firm with my decision and I stuck to my list, my friend felt bad but I had to follow my decision and I felt so good that I dint compromise .

waaaaw is all I can say! Sometimes I pray you guys never run out of content😅 because I love it!

Tip:1.Practice saying no the small things which will make saying no to the big things easy.Like saying no to foods that you don't like. 2.Always have Preset Standards & rules of what you will & will not tolerate.The brain will have already prepared itself subconsciously for this...So when faced with a certain situation, it's not a debate or doubting if it's good or bad...It will be a matter of executing the already laid down rule/boundary. (This really helps with people who will try & gaslight you/manipulative people)

I think even interns should apply the same 'boundaries-at-work' advice you gave. As long as they made their request in advance and their boss was in agreement, they shouldn't be expected to stay just because of their job title. If they are still needed after the set departure time, then their boss should *ask* them to stay longer if they can, not demand it. Otherwise, the intern will be promoted to full-time worker and still be unable to set boundaries because they didn't practice it when they were just an intern. I know the comment in the video was probably made in jest, but I felt it important to point out for any interns out there :)

Bambi Joan 😭, the way you said you made me feel.so anxious and vulnerable, when anyone brings up kids when am.trying to live life, it just drains.

I relate with Lydia's Boundaries with Manns. I once went to a salon and it was starting to get dark and Manns didn't check in to know if I was done or why I was getting late. I communicated the Boundaries and now he does it everytime he needs to. TMI for life!!

I really love that honest conversation. Murugi set a boundary . Lydia cried during break time . My eyes got tearful as well coz I just totally understand.. Ladies you are doing a great job .

I always resonate with Lydia....... its the best feeling coz I know that someone understands me. TMI podcast is the best gift 2021

That boundary setting moment was so wholesome....love to see it!!!! 20 Episodes of pure genius. To the skies and beyond!

I feel like this topic should be in the CBC curriculum. Most people do not understand boundaries, and some just choose to trample over them with abandon..!😡

literally only thing I look forward to everything week

Not me screaming at the top of my voice when Lydia asked us to 😂😂😂 my Wednesdays could never get better without tmi❤️

I told someone that I don't appreciate how they only come to me when in problems and if I communicate to them with an issue she won't think I need help,so she quit the friendship and I was free

2 years later I still find this very relevant

My takeaway about the 87 kids boundary is that intention doesn't matter. My boundary is my boundary even if I understand how well intentioned you are. I also tell people "you and your 99 kids" and we laugh but I can see how it can hurt someone. Sounds like its funnier if the parent says it themselves

Aki jo your eyes zinanimaliza tu..that blue is just popping..nawapenda sana

Loved this. I'm an avid boundary setter, because I learnt from a young age that familiarity breeds contempt.

This too two ladies are just incredible

It is true setting boundaries in family is hard,but this year I set it and people see me as bad person but is OK.

Aaaaahhh Episode 20!! It’s definitely TMI, I’m happy to be part of this growth ladies🥳🥳

I am a late comer here, I am dealing with setting boundaries. This podcast has just made things clear for me. Marking the lines clearly.

😄😄😄 I always tell my friends direct what i don't like.(I also like when people communicate direct to me) I hate sharing my stuff and I don't buy stuff just to give out and I also respect people's stuff and i don't take people's stuff. When my friends are coming over i remind them to carry a jacket so that they don't borrow mine 😄😄. I have few friends thou

Girls, you make soo much sense.. why is setting boundaries and saying them soo hard.. how much more can I take..aaaarrrggghh… youv spoken volumes. Thanks girls.

Hey girlsss🤗🤗❤️ Well I must say I'm loving on this episode especially because it has got me thinking about alot of things people do to me and What I do to others that maybe makes them feel some type of way and that I don't know of. I can't wait for episode 21📌

Was listening on Spotify but the drama got so real I had to come see for myself 😂😂😂 love you guys

Hapo sasa😍👏🏾👏🏾tuendelee ama tuendelee #Episode20 and counting... 💃🏿🎉🎉🍾🥂. Keeping it 💯. Wueh! Respect for addressing friendship boundary. Good vibes🔥🔥😘.

Your friendship is absolutely amazing ! I really enjoyed this episode ! Your number1 fan ❤️❤️❤️

Aawww Jo'! That was so courageous of you.. 🥰🥰🥰 made me shed a tear.

This was absolutely needed... I validate joh's boundary.... I used to feel it for her. Having 2 and having friends without...

I am catching up late but i really love and adore you guys

"Why are we so quick to betray ourselves?" That question hit home Murugi.

I had a good friend of 10years and over the years, serious lines were crossed. This year I set what I realize now to be a boundary and she couldn't take it. She cut me off completely although I was willing to work this things through. I'm much happier she is out of my life now. Baby steps....

I liked when you said that you feel shaky when setting a boundary 😂 I recently had to set one with a really close friend and it was not the easiest thing to do. But afterwards, it was really liberating.

It is hard for me to set boundaries with family and friends. I easily set them with my boyfriend, I think he made me comfortable enough to do it. Although recently he did something that I had communicated before😂, I hope it won't repeat. I have learned a lot, thank you.

Thank you ladies ♥️,you are impacting lives.

Extremely educative... I've just realised I'm so good at setting boundaries but when it comes to my closest people it's so hard. Hoping to improve and be better in both ways. You are doing so good ladies ❤️

I looooove how Joan pronounces Person.

I have learned about boundaries and put them straight to your face weather a close friend or not you don't cross my boundaries nope!!!

Your Topics are diverse & interesting.(You don't stray away with unnecessary stuff from the main topic)engaging & fun.Plus you girls look beautiful which draws in all audience 👍🏽😍

So relatable! And that part Lydia talked about the critic guy! I've been there. I don't know who's more delicate. I learnt something!

I don't like being told come-on,I was hard to tell my friend but I'm glad he didn't take it personally.. and we are now good 😊😊

I think friendship should have lots of boundaries...

I'm always relating to all your videos ladies, idk why but daaamn, all of them... apana, I feel like I'm in your relationship hunnies, oh my!!! Lots of love ❤

The same way Lydia makes jokes about 87 children is the same way you make jokes about akothee and her children, before you talk about someone u should consider how u can feel if u were in his/her place

Lydia should give murugi a chance to explain her points

Am hooked on you ladies, one of very few podcasts I listen to the end. This year I have made it my mission to communicate my boundary to various people in my life. I must admit its a win/loose situation but very necessary if you want to guard your happy and live your best authentic life. Murugi I love you, but I would like to communicate a boundary on behalf of Lydia. It makes me a little bit uncomfortable every time you joke about her hair edges lol!

Had a bad week in uni and this really helped me lighten up❤️

Hey ladies...wow great conversation.There is this guy in the office who is always making comments about me n my body...ome may think it is flirtatious/complimentary but i hv cm to since view it as really disrespectful bordering on sexual abuse.I gathered all my guts (it was quite scary) n told him off...it was very uncomfortable after that but i feel so much better.😊 thanks ladies.

Im crying😭😭😭😭wen Jo is setting the boundary😭😭

The honesty and energies,am always here for all of it!

I lovvvvvvveeeeee, guys don't forget to Like this content.

After 6 months of hosting my best friend in my 1st year of marriage with a new born, I couldn't set the boundary of how long she could stay. I finally did, but my friend couldn't handle the boundary emotionally right. So it's D. For done

This yr I have really grown I have set boundaries,it’s not easy especially setting them with family…

This is how much im obsessed with u. I now cant stop say "D for 'Done'"😭😭😭😭😭

Loving y’all’s touch to the boundaries discussion

I am always looking forward to Wednesday just because of TMI podcast.

😂😂😂Murugi is most likely listening to a different OmahLay😂😂😂what tune was that.... Really loved the episode we definitely on the getto when it come ati boundaries ...as I listen so many boundaries crossed my mind that I need to set

For sure I thought that was a victory story.. Babe .. It’s Definitely TMI

Just realised I never set boundaries in alot of areas in my life but the point of taking shit till your done.

Book recommendations dr. Henry boundaries 👌

Awwww that boundary moment aki made me shed a tear.

Surreal 👌as per yuusshzzzz😍i stan e'm intelligent beautiful qweeeens👏💖💖💖

The best podcast ever. Always looking forward to Wednesday ♥️

Setting boundaries with family especially in laws wueeh

from Somalia GUYS

Hello Murugi & Lydia... I think the word you are looking for is "trigger". whenever someone or something else does or says something that makes you feel some type of way...its a trigger.

Lydia laugh at 8:56 got me laughing 😂😂

I have been married 4 years now but my boundary of my husband not conversing etc with his ex hasn't been respected

I am this early just finished work .. I am camping here this hour ..

Oh yeah, ive closed myself in the batbrool and cried several times bse i can't even talk about how i feel, i just expect people go be grown by the time we're friends, so i keep on taking the bullshit and just like lyd said by the time i come up to say anything am not trying to talk you into change, am asking you to leave,qnd never return bse am done. Just here is the list of everything i have felt so hurt when you did so dont do them to ypur next friends, me am out

You are doing a good job...Boundaries are also easier to set as you get older and if you are not soo dependant on this person.

Okay guys, so i have this friend who spends a lot of time at my place but recently i set a boundary since i was straining, and she cried a whole day after communicating how i felt. After asking her why she cried that much, she said the boundaries triggered her and that she has been going through a lot and she felt unwelcomed. But i did not feel heard, seen, we did not reach an agreement and i felt emotionally and mentally drained by dealing with her emotions, not just i do not accommodate them but i cannot deal with her crying a whole day just because i set a boundary. So i am conflicted on what next to do

This was so insightful. Loved loved this episode

Ita definitely TMI 🔥🔥♥️♥️

Love love love this.. thanks ladies

Thumbs up on Courage Courage Courage...😊

I myself had that 87 part jana,( cause I recently started watching) and I cringed 🙄. Love the boundaries episode I never had a hard time with setting them unless it’s with a man 😭😭😭😭

haha that minute 28. Love

I recently lost a friend because I wasn't good at setting boundaries and they were. They set a boundary that made me so angry because she'd do the same thing to me. Like I thought she'd be Ok because she used to do the same thing to me. Lol.

Learnt alot today.😍

Loved this 🔥👐🏾💥💕

It's definitely TMI 😂......