So glad I found your Facebook and RU-vid channel. Reading your book and Facing Codependce currently. Trying to do all this work and healing from a stroke as well, so have to be extra forgiving to myself first for lack of knowledge on top of traumatic brain injury.
Yes I know as I was living the journey and having to accept the hard truth in myself it wasn’t always easy but that’s what I learned is the most important part. Without truth our soul dies.
Oh my gosh. This is hitting me harder the second time around. I'm a love addict first......an avoidant second. I was raised by 2 narcissists and what I now understand is they make their children and victims feel responsible for all their needs and blame them for everything that's wrong and for all their pain. So....yea....abandonment huge !!! Guilt and shame huge. 😔 now I understand why I attracted friends and guys who are love avoidant......thank you.
I'm an avoidant. In the sense that I try to fix problems in advance. Of which tends to end up creating problems. But also confusing because I'd think attending to problems is being non avoidant.
I don’t have enough information but what you’re describing sounds a little bit more like hyper vigilance which is a different dynamic. Yes, you might avoid as well but the desire to always be out front and fix and control things usually comes from a Traumatic upbringing and unfortunately, you’re right, trying to fix it before it happens usually makes things worse. My life got a lot better when I learned how to “let it come.“ I wrote a whole chapter on how to do that in my book.
@@kennyweiss " let it come" is that the same as staying present and not thinking " what if"? If that's the case , I totally struggled with saying no/ establishing boundaries wich contributed greatly to my codependent behavior before I started healing.
Hi Kenny, i love your videos an the way you call things by its name… i also listen to your book during my flight Zurich-Washington, i really llove it, but i have to listen to it a couple times more. I am a codependent in recovery, step by step! Thanks so much for all your great videos! 🙏🏽✨✨
Hi Bettina you’re very welcome and yes my book is a book that needs to be listened to 3 to 5 times a year because of how the shame and denial portions of the cycle work. It takes time for our denial mechanisms to drop. That’s in part why I created the online master classes it helps people through that recovery process. If you are ever interested in learning more just let me know😁
I love love love your content!!! Did I say love? 🤣 Don't get mad at me but I FF to the 📚! I'll listen to the rest later because I wanted to order right away. Have you heard of the book "if the Budda dated?" If so, thoughts please? Promise I'll listen to the entirety later as I got to start my🍨!! 😆
@@kennyweiss Fully-watched now, Thank you! Yes, the book is not typical. No secret or magic guru talks. It's a book to really discover who you are and not to care about anyone's opinion. I loved it for an awakening, awareness and looking inwards. I have a feeling you may enjoy it. By Dr Charlotte Kasl. You don't have to be buddist to appreciate it. Looking forward to your next video.
Thank you for this video. I resonate with loving avoidant types. I'm currently in love with one and we are in the toxic dance. I'll be reading both books asap.
@@kennyweiss the second chapter of love addiction has my mind blown. Perfectly described almost every relationship I've been in, and how they usually end.
I wish it were that easy. Both had love from here to the moon. Sometimes, that's not enough and things start to weigh on you when communication starts to lack stimulation, it gets boring as interests change, sexual drives go in opposite directions, and I mean the list can go on and on and on. You can have all the love in the world for one another but may just not be a good match especially if your love languages aren't discussed early on or you aren't willing to learn, accommodate and sacrifice. One can also change the way they look at life, money, travel, spirituality, etc. As one evolves, grows, and learns and becomes more self-aware and awakened while the partner stays stagnant, it's an exit regardless of the love between them. And many people out there don't even understand what love is they have a twisted and bizarre mentality about it based on their past. Sometimes, you don't find out about that until it's too late and you're already invested. It's inevitable that childhood wounds will revisit if the partner hasn't done the deep work even for the most put-together out there.
