I wanted to show this to my dad but he’s deaf. Luckily Dr.K either subtitles every video or just speaks so clearly it’s a 99% perfect transcription. Thanks for being the internet’s gateway to therapy/ mental health awareness. Edit a year later: my dad got a cochlear implant :). He still prefers subtitles but i figured id share the good news. I don’t remember how he liked the video bc it was a year ago but this is very up his alley.
I'm from Argentina, and speak Spanish. I read English way more than I listen to it. I pop up English subtitles on every video and they are easily 95% accurate. Maybe a word from other culture as healthyfamergg sometimes reffers to indian culture, or something that just wasn't clear enough when he said it, but it never has been a problem enough to not get the main point. You can watch it with him and if gets any doubt I'm sure you can explain it. Both my grand parents are dead too
_"What happens is people look for solutions but internally they're not motivated to change"_ _"The cost of changing is higher than the cost of staying the same, that's why we stay the same"_
Change is possible my dudes, but it goes both ways...change for the better is a grind in nature but worth it long term...change for the bad however can be instantaneous and really silent, just like an addiction you won't notice its effects until way too late or some else points it out. I found it really surprising how relaxing shit gets after an hour and a half of exercise followed by an ice-cold shower. Now I just want to do it even more.
Problem with addiction and procrastination is that it compounds the long term anxiety and suckyness of ones problems, for a short time relief. My take on a solution is to act as soon as I feel resistance / anxiety against the action. Phone calls is One of my anxietys last bastion, and as soon as I start to delay calling people it gets exponentially worse.. all about nipping it in the bud. Gl people.
@@jamescanjuggle one hack to cold showers is to just direct the stream of water over the back of your head instead of full immersion. read about the "mammalian diving reflex" ... you want to hold your breath and allow some of the stream of cold water to end up going up your nostrils. you get the same relaxation/anti-anxiety benefit without the unpleasantness of a full cold shower
When I gotten so sick during COVID, I felt alone, fat and useless, coming out of it, I changed my lifestyle, went to gym 30 minutes a day, changed the food that I eat, got rid of all chips, crackers and sweet drinks, and started to cook my own food. 4 months now, lost 28 lbs, and feeling stronger and more healthy than ever. Raised my confidence and all it took was a close encounter to my own weakness. Its never too late, turning 40 and feeling like I am 30
I dont think people give credit to just how hard it can be to change a diet. Like not only are you trying to fight yourself and bad habits built up over years, but also a microbiome that youve unintentionally grown inside your stomach. Like no matter how many plans you write, what you buy ect there will be a little voice in the head saying "Hey go eat the chocolate" "Meal prep is exausting, order the take-away" "Everyone will judge me, dont join the gym" I feel a good way to tackle these diet and habit changes is to acknowledge what difficulty lies ahead.
DUDE THIS IS SOO TRUE! Iv been trying to lose weight for a while now and I just can’t stick to it no matter how many new game plans and preparations I set for myself it’s like when I find a new plan or approach to it I get excited and think “ok this is the one im finally gonna lose weight with this” and that excitement fuels my motivation and I try it but eventually just come right back to the habit it’s soooo frustrating.
@@soultheconfusing9563 if it feels hard, you re going the right way, take a small step everyday but it has to be a step up, never a step down, if you know what I mean.
@@soultheconfusing9563 im a firm believer of people needing to hear "ah that sucks man, yeah its gonna be shite" 😂 sure look your gonna get the praise and the "i believe in you!" from everyone and anyones sister, uncle or dog. Id rather tell ya its gonna be tough, so chill out and let it be tough
Tbh I blame the economy and society structure we live in at least in the west. Do you know how hard it is to find food with low sugar low carbohydrates? That why Keto was such a big thing. In every corner there are fast food chains, in ever corner there is a greedy company tryi ng to kill you and rob you of every cent. They dont want you to be healthy and live long.
I’ve lost 40 pounds since December and his saying the cost of changing is HIGHER than not changing hit me hard. I moved house recently and eased off the calorie counting and exercises (treadmill was stuck with the movers). I felt myself being quite content with not GAINING and even losing 4 pounds during this time, but that complacency added to the mental/willpower cost of getting back on the treadmill, of the daily food diary. I’m “back on track” now but that enticing feeling of just giving up and being complacent again is a huge mental wall to climb. I feel so strong for having climbed that wall, once more, and I’m sure not for the last time.
Great job on the weight loss and getting back on track! If you ever get stuck on the fence again I hope you continue going! I got stuck in complacency with maintaining weight 20lbs from my goal weight, and ended up gaining 40 back. Don't be like me, keep on pushing!
"Just like most things in life once you get into it, it turns out to be easier than you expected" - one of the best assuring statements I've ever heard💖
This gave me a lot to think about. I'm currently changing my whole life. I shouldn't beat myself up when I fall back in some areas. I need to pick myself back up and try again.
Yeah, rather than focusing on the fact that you failed, focus on how mucher further you got this time. In cheesy video game terms, like beating a boss, you don't just alt f4 the game cause you died once, twice, thrice and so on. Sure at some point you may rage quit, but instead of shaming yourself for quitting, that's when you have to admit to yourself that "this was my limit". Instead of dreading over it, see if you can beat that limit by even just 0,1%. Basically, you can create a small challenge, a challenge that's based of failing your main challenge. When you alt f4 that game and don't come back for a while, view that as your recovery days. Like when failing to workout on a schedule you set out for yourself, instead of ditching it altogether. Just observe how long it takes you to get back into the schedule again, mark that as your current limit and recover time. It's like breaking down your already small goal, into even smaller goals and viewing your failure/recovery time as necessary part of the process. The time you need for recover is not excuse, it's not fake, it however can be trained to be less time consuming, or that you just get more efficient in the mental recovery process itself. The worst thing you can do is quit altogether, taking breaks, even really long ones, is completely okay and should be done in order to maintain a healthy progress. You need to learn to fail.
14:52 At the store, the price tags are on the shelf by the product ("sobriety", "health"). You know what you make the decision to pay that price when you grab it. With psychological change, we often wait until we get to the checkout aisle, realize that the price'd clear our psychological "bank account", and decide not to buy it partway through scanning. If we find and look at the label, we can be more prepared to buy the sobriety, exchanging a temporarily empty bank account in return for a longer-term bigger bank account.
I kinda started to realise this over lockdown. Now, whenever I catch myself thinking "I don't wanna do this, it sounds hard", I respond in my head with "Fantastic, let's do it!" (often in Dr. K's voice, as well!) I've found this helps with reminding myself that something being hard is never a good excuse to not do it. Who knows, maybe it'll be less hard next time.
Man, HealthyGamerGG content just gets more and more complex and relevant. Thank you Dr. K and the rest of the team! This channel has really changed the way I fundamentally think.
I had a hell of a time dealing with a weed addiction that was crippling my motivation and wallet, and that's exactly what happened to me, I just had an "Enough is enough" feeling rise up in me and I trashed every piece I owned and never looked back. Now I'm really struggling with the diet and exercise thing, especially with 2 small children it really hurts thinking about sacrificing some of what little free time I get already to make myself suffer. I'm really hoping I just get that bolt of inspiration again and it "clicks".
if you care about your kids you should make sure all of your diets are good and all of you are exercising regularly. otherwise health problems are pretty much guaranteed. and depending on where you live, that could mean a life sentence of debt and suffering. so it shouldnt be too hard to not eat junk and live an active lifestyle.
Try finding physical activity that you dont describe as “making youself suffer” .. doing something less intensive a few times a week and on a consistent basis vs going Full gungho and quitting after 14 dáys, the former is always better. Same with diet, dont go with the super restrictive “diets”, as they almost allways fail.. instead less junk and do appropiate portions of normal grownup food. Good luck
Do you like to be around healthy and well when your kids grow up, see them at their wedding or graduation or have kids? Or go to f*ckn Mars one day? You gotta keep your heart healthy. When it comes to planning phase, I personally do pushups mostly everyday (which triples as "no wasted days" and "muscle growth") and go for walks (which doubles as "getting out of the house")
sometimes we can. we can expect it but not all the time. some people are tired to be alchoolic and do small step. some are tired to be tired. and stop instantly. yes it can happen. im a living exemple of it. 0 drug 0 alchool 0 animal corpse 0 animal secretion gg how be rich working low hour eating rice bean potato. win liffe with healthy weight and nutriments and wealth. sometimes its too easy, thats the problem
No the only change you can do is an immidiate change every day. However you cannot expect the immidiate change to be monstrous, but a tiny mini change every day.
@@RealLifeMassMultiplayerRPG he explains in the video that that's still the culmination of an underlying process in your brain that has been occurring for some time, not a sudden major shift in your brain out of nowhere
When people mention wu-wu stuff like synchronicities & strange coincidences I’ve related that to Dr. K’s uploads. It is much attributed to the fact I’m also living in the same world as the rest of the audience here, so the problems we share are as cohorts to that experience. But the potency of these conversations have been so sapient that I have made significant personal changes in a short two years by applying the advice shared here, by Dr. K himself & the rest of the users on the platforms He participates on. In other, shorter words, I do not know where I would be without having found these videos on RU-vid of all places.
That’s not a case of synchronicity or any of that, he’s just telling you what other therapists do. But he is mistaken about a lot things though so I’d check how much progress you actually make
Some of that is also a cognitive bias as well. That said, much of what he says actually reaffirms things I have learned through extremely difficult experiences. I don't think the videos would have had as much impact on me if I was not already doing the work, but now that what he says aligns with my lived experience, it helps me to see that I am on the right path. My issues were related to substance use and addictive behaviors, so overcoming that external influence first was required for the next steps to take place, which may not be the same for others. Much of what he says does align with what other therapists/counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists may tell you, but his delivery is great for the audience. This shines through in his interview videos especially. Some of it is the usual talk therapy techniques, but other parts seem to come from insight and his ability to read between the lines and actually catch the small indicators in the language used by the interviewee. So many people seem to lack those skills and feel extremely scripted, rather than have a natural conversational flow.
@@Joel-gf4zl Omg yes that’s so true. There is something about Dr. K that just makes him a very good conversationalist but I just can’t quite put what is it.
@@Darkloid21 Reread the comment. He doesn't attribute it to synchronicities either and provides a causal explanation for his experience. I think he has, at times, put his faith and conviction behind things that aren't exactly scientific but I genuinely do not see that as a reason to call into question how much progress someone actually makes lol. Nobody has all of the answers. Dr K specifically provides answers based on science, clinical experience, and spirituality. If you think he's off-base frequently, fine. I don't really see why you feel the need to bring that up the way you did though.
@@whatsnew955 I really think it comes back to knowing the audience and tailoring his delivery to them. It's the same thing you want to do when giving a speech. Know your audience and tailor your delivery to them for the largest impact. It helps with that sense of connection between the speaker and the audience. It also helps that he is actively getting feedback from chat, so he can also adjust where he is going with things based on what is being said. Someone giving a speech doesn't have all the benefits that can come from real-time feedback (aside from clapping, laughing, seeing if people are falling asleep, getting booed, etc...). On top of that, he has a ton of experience talking with people, which helps build those linguistic pathways in the brain so things flow much nicer and he knows what needs to be explained and doesn't.
I really respect the way you title your videos. You don't assume viewers understand what their own problem actually is. You ask simple questions about common symptoms, and then dive deep into the cause and effect underlying those symptoms. I'm sure I could get these lessons somewhere else, but the way you've chosen to deliver is what got through to me.
Thanks Dr K. This is very well put. When i started in recovery 11 years ago I viewed alot of this as prospective. I had a skewed view of things and my reality wasnt the whole story. You're explination was much better and I wish I had something like this to listen to. Oh and BTW 8 years sober may 11 keep trying it took me 4 years to get it to stick. Keep trying if you're struggling with addiction it will happen.
I look at people like they are purely a collection of habits. Good habits and bad habits. Everything you do is a habit, and every time you act you are either strengthening or weakening a habit. If I skip the gym today, I'm strengthening the gym skipping habit. If I voluntarily go out of my comfort zone today, I'm strengthening that as a habit. Being mindful of the patterns I'm cultivating in each and every moment of my life helps me keep myself oriented towards becoming the person I want to be.
Good thing is that habit is hard to destroy, kind of bad thing is that habit is hard to build, one or two days, even some weeks of skipping doesn’t destroy habit that’s built for years.
'i just woke up one day and enough was enough.' sometimes that happens though. i had a serious and unusually bad dependency on weed. i could not stop smoking whatsoever. over the course of 2 years i tried to quit over and over again and nothing seemed to work. then one night, i was getting very invested in a video game. i usually sucked at that game while high because it requires quick reaction times. so i went the whole night without smoking. and then i thought to myself 'how long can i go on with this?' so i didn't smoke for 2 weeks after that. relapsed when my brother came down from idaho and now its been another week and a half since smoking. it really did just come out of nowhere.
I'm trying to get myself to work more on my projects, go to sleep earlier, change my diet and exercise more, all at the same time. Sometimes I try the "just do it" mentality, but I eventually start to feel burned out and go back to a previous state(?). When I'm active, I get stressed by doing everything, then I stop and get stressed by not doing what I "should". However, change is happening all this time, I just need to realize that I'm not failing, but progressing slowly towards my goal. I'll also try to meditate more (another "try"). Stress always has root causes we may not see immediately. And what I hear the most is to focus on one thing at a time. Enjoyed hearing your thoughts as always!
Dr.K thank you for existing and doing what you do, I've been following you ( leaving and coming back regularly ) for some years, and you really give me answers I would never have had any other way. Can't say I'm wonderful now but I'm better, no doubts about that. I literally feel like in a few years I'll be able to feel confident in turning my life around and actually be a strong person who really wants to live and grow. Not there yet but I try to remain patient. Thanks again, maybe you read this
I was extremely depressed for years and when my girlfriend left me because of this in the end in that very moment something clicked and i knew that it cant go on like this. That was 7 Months ago now. Been going to the gym 3 to 4 times a week, been cooking actual homemade food 4 to 5 times a week, been going for walks nearly every day, started socializing again etc etc. Sometimes there just need to be a moment that changes everything for some reason.
A lot of the stuff Dr K says really sinks in to me early in the morning if I have a 20 minutes before my alarm goes off. And this particular video really resonated with me.
change is definitely possible. but you need to actually like the change. not forcefully. start small, and observe the little changes. be proud of yourself for this progress. and with patience, a few years later, you will recall the past and how much you have actually changed. you are a gamer after all. let that fact help you. enjoy the game, git gud, appreciate the progress, and take your reward with pride.
You have to hate where you're at, people focus on the positive aspect of what you'll get, but if the difference between the two states isn't great enough you won't be motivated enough to move forward. So you have to really, REALLY hate where you are at.
I've noticed this in people around me. It's not love that motivates people, it's hate and disgust. Not self hate but hate and disgust of the habit and what it's done to them
Literally me when I hit 15 stone, "Enough is enough you fat fuck!". Especially where diabetes runs in the family. Runs on treadmill 5k a day for 7 months, then Weights tagged on top of that so why not cycle too. Here a year later still struggling with diet yet down 2.5 stone :).
Fasting is really doing it for me. Getting a hang of self discipline, impulse control and perseverance to get fit and overcome an eating disorder has been great so far
I've heard this debate and I never had trouble changing but I had no choice starting as a kid after my father died I had to take care of family. Then my teen years it was too stressful and I lost myself in anger of the situation just trying to feed myself. Then in my twenties I sold my freedom to whatever company paid me a check to afford rent and lost myself in that structure. By thirty I had my first technical bankruptcy do to over work, stress and illness and I felt like I've lived fifteen lives. When I let myself think about it which I try not to do much anymore I used to wonder how do I not change? How do I keep myself? I managed to avoid the addictions that claimed so many of my friends though. Half the people I grew up with are gone.
This video made me realize a lot. Been struggling to lose weight for over a decade. I know all the knowledge to do it but executing it was the challenge of changing. Jus recently, I kept feeding my mind with “nothing changes if nothing changes” & it’s helped a lot but this video has broken down that quote further. Thank you Dr. Much love
When i was in high school i was overweight and clumsy and i skipped school on athletics day and hid as much as i could in gym class. I hated sports and exercise but when i was 16 some friends peer pressured me to play rugby (probably because of my overweight frame haha) and my dad, who had played rugby, was super supportive. It was a gradual process but 10 years later im an accomplished rugby player, im a really good surfer, i rock climb, and i lift 6 days a week with zero struggle to get to the gym on most days. I have the physique of my dreams and sports is a huge part of my personality(though im secretly still pretty poorly coordinated). What would be most important to my 16 year old self is i became good with women too as i gained confidence and got fitter. Most people would think ive just been sporty my whole life and childhood friends sometimes dont even recognise me. I wont downplay how lucky i was to have supportive friends and parents, but it goes to show that drastic change is possible (which is reassuring since the career side of my life is still a shambles) i cant necessarily give you a recipe but i can tell you it is possible. My only problem now is overtraining haha
Dr. K, man I just want to say, you have so quickly become my favourite RU-vidr. Every video I watch of yours, something manages to strike a chord with me (the aha moment). As someone currently battling a myriad of mental health disorders and has been addicted to drugs for the last 7 years I am FINALLY getting it. And its thanks to you! The puzzle pieces that are my life are starting to connect and Im now taking the right steps to get to where I want to go in life. I feel motivated, enthusiastic and my head finally feels screwed onto my shoulders. I am back practicing martial arts after 6 years of doing nothing good and I am even practicing meditation on a consistent basis (who would have thought????) . Thank you, you bloody legend.
Awesome video. I had quite a few relapses when it comes to the gym and eating better. But I'm back on the journey and this video came in clutch. Thanks Dr. K!
If this habit is not competing for your time, it's not gonna lose. I can't quit smoking, no habit can compete with it. The only thing that helps me is Dr K's advice about starting to notice the urge to smoke. It helps me kinda control this urge more when I'm fully aware of it. I hope my brain starts building tolerance to it, but I'm not sure. I just smoke less now.
Change is only possible if you want to change. Many people will say "It's hard to change," or one I hear from my Parents "We are too old to change" (While completely changing in the last year or so, due to what's been going on), but wanting and striving for change is what's important. If you don't have the basic want, then you will never change. Many people want to change, try change, fail, and then give up. Change doesn't happen after one try, it happens after multiple failures, many many days of trying, many days of going backwards, until finally you develop the appropriate rhythm for how to do it. For example, I was Obese my entire life, usually I was always the heaviest kid in my class, kid in my neighborhood, etc, until HS where there were some bigger kids, but I was stil 250lbs at about 5' 9". My highest recorded was 290lbs in 2014, but I definitely knew I gained much more weight over the next 3 years and had to had been over 300lbs, if not 320lbs, before I started getting into diet and health in 2018. I never really had much success with diets, with a couple I had some success while doing it, but there were concerns with the diet from others. I had taken on an OMAD(One Meal a Day) diet called "The WArrior Diet" or something in 2010 or so, but my parents and others around me were scared with the idea of OMAD...." Back then I took their concerns and stopped, but now the idea of people being scared of it (one person even mentioned it would ruin my metabolism forever) is funny, because I'm currently on my third day of Dry Fasting, meaning no food or water consumption. Fasting has been the way I was able to lose weight, and I lost a massive amount of weight very fast, and I'm currently down 7lbs in over 2 days of fasting from 212.6 to 205.2. The main point with this is that If I had listened to people from my past, who don't understand anything about the Human Body and Nutrition, I would have never tried fasting, for fear of "destroying my metabolism forever," and would have been obese for my entire life, or at least until I tried major change. Instead I listened to others who had a qualifying opinion, saw actual results of people who actually tried fasting, and then tried it myself. Many people will try to stop you from achieving what YOU WANT, but in the end, all that matters is you, not what someone else thinks about what you should do for yourself. Best of luck to everyone, and remember, hard work towards change opens many doors.
Not video game related but it took me awhile (3years) to realize that enough was enough and was struggling with not just internal feelings but certain external situations as well. I'm thankful to be able to watch you Dr. K , it has allowed me to understand and make necessary changes in my life for the better. 🙏🙌🙏🙌🙏🙌 Tough as the may be.
For me, I think whenever I’ve broken a habit, I needed a lot of extra free time. I.E., I wasn’t prioritizing my physical health for a few years, and I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to change. Then my relationship ended, and I suddenly had a ton of extra free time completely alone. I was able to dedicate myself to finally making the change. I didn’t think that I needed more time to be healthier, but I think it’s more like my mind was too busy to think about it in the ways I needed to.
I want to change my personality. I'm not usually a mean person and wouldn't label myself as bad, however I can be very annoying, not realising what I am doing/saying and I am very sarcastic. I want to change these things but it's so difficult to do it for me
I've had more and more " enough is enough" moments and I can tell I'm getting closer and closer and I think part of it is my brain finishing developing (23 yo male) but most of the actions in my life still seem like I haven't made progress, still take the things I take, still do the things I do, but now it's like I don't want them as much, still do them though, hopefully it gets better. I hate the shame so much. I struggle to even make eye contact or be around anyone
Papa K strikes again. You're video topics don't always pertain to my situation but when they do - gosh. Needed this video this morning. Focusing on quitting weed, keep writing lists every morning and scheduling my days in Google Calender. Love you Dr K.
I have this sober app and I notice that too, people get waay too focused on length of clean streaks. So what if you relapse for a day after x days, you spend an incredible amount of time sober where you would have been shitfaced.
14:40 "so if you're stuck, you need to think about, what do I really need to get out of being here... because when you start to change you start paying that cost. And the you're like HELL NO" a little earlier summed up: Think about the future of living this same life and what this life has to give you. YOu need to know what you're paying for upfront, if you know you're more likely to pay Feeling lonely, because I have no social skills to make friends. 17:04 "(I feel) there's a lack of awareness of internal conflict. Which is why it feels like there's an iceberg underneath the surface when we try to change" follow up until 17:30 "What is the price of turning over the new leaf?" 19:37 "Everything is so damn hard, but ONLY at the beginning"
So I have had a bunch of, “I have had enough” experiences but only one time did I have some grasp of the difference between “uhhh i dont want to be like this but I dont have the motivation to change it” and “i dont want to be like this so I am going to change it”. I have come to the conclusion that the former could be a person that feels helpless in the face of the problems but wants to look like he takes responsibility for his issues and the latter is one that takes responsibility for the problems. These two have language differences when they describe responsibility. Whereas the former says to himself,”u should get ur shit together dude.” The latter says, “i should get my shit together.” The subtle shifting of responsibility can be seen because the former doesnt expect god, life or sth to change…he expects his brain to change or he expects wtever he refers to “you” to change things
I have read or seen that there is a difference in brain activity when we talk about ourselves as "I" and "you". When one speaks about oneself (even just in thoughts) as "you need to..." The activity in the brain is similar to when you speak to a different person, not yourself. So it may be a mind's way of shelving responsibility onto "somebody else", thus not doing actions to solve the problem at hand, because "they will do it..."
I don’t have addiction to alcohol. But I used to use alcohol to make me more interesting and to ease my social anxiety. But then there were days of me regretting spilling my heart out for strangers I don’t know. That’s how I stopped drinking and just accept the sober and the boring nervous me. 🙂
I'm a therapist and Dr. K and I are often on the same page. I learn a lot from him too and I can say from a decade working in mental health that his methods work
What I've found that has worked for me and my kid that to change is to start with small things. If you have a trashed room like OP, pick up 1 item and put it away, or a piece of trash and throw it away every time you get up to use the can. Little changes, baby steps. The other half of that, is giving yourself the grace of back sliding, or "going back to square one" in appearance like Dr. K is talking about. Its okay to backslide. Just... don't stay there, or be too hard on yourself. If you're hard on yourself you get into that "shame psychology" that Dr. K was talking about. So baby steps and giving yourself grace is what works. I quit smoking by using the "weaning" system for Chantix. My Dr. wanted me on it for a year -- I said fuck that, I can't afford that and only took it for a month or so after. I realized I was just trading up one addiction for another. I then ended up trading that for an ice cream addiction, and then when I realized what had happened, I put down the ice cream for a while, and tried something new. I now put that "energy" into parenting, therapy, improving on other skills that are lacking (my cleaning skill... or ability score is... 3 when the average is 10) even when I feel like "flipping a new leaf" in exercising I try that too. I work really hard not to shame myself for not getting it yet -- eventually I will.
I've gotten into shape, out of shape, and finally back into shape again and I can help give some advice on that area of things: Make your training fun. At the start, it might feel like a chore, but this is what I would call the learning curve of effort. Exercise is different than some other healthy habits (like cleaning a room) insofar as it is literally like an addictive drug if you do it long enough (I would compare it to powerful stimulants, your confidence goes up, you walk differently after a good workout, you feel ready to take on whatever is ahead of you). Eventually you will be looking forward to going to the gym and you will feel like a god when your workouts are done Form a habit: So what some people do is literally forming a habit of going to the gym on a certain day of each week. Even if they have a shitty workout. I was in high school gym class so it was effectively a necessary part of my schedule. Even if I got 4 hours of sleep and half assed it, I would still be there. Best programs: I actually think the easiest program to do for most people is a full body 2 (or three)x per week. Because you will absolutely be able to build your schedule around that, and you won't skip days for a certain body part because you do everything in one day. Exercise selection: This doesn't matter nearly as much as people say it does. There's no one magic exercise that can do everything. You want to prioritize heavy compound (multiple joint) exercises at first. Pick a vertical pull, horizontal pull, horizontal push, vertical push (as long as it doesn't bother your shoulders) squat, and a hinge. Pick variations that you enjoy the most and feel the most natural because everyone has different biomechanics. Isolation movements can be added to attack lagging muscle groups Sources: Geoffrey Schofield has the best beginner advice for improving your physique out of any lifter I think.
Thank you for going so in depth on the practical application of motivational interviewing (MI), Dr. K. I am nearing completion of my doctorate in physical therapy and have heard time and time again about the importance of MI in clinical practice. We’re taught the stages, given general descriptions of how to recognize what stage a patient is at, but never-NEVER before has a clinical instructor or professor been able to give real world examples of how to USE MI to help patients with behavioral changes. It has been very frustrating. After watching this video, I can recognize times in my life when I’ve been at each phase and where some of my patients have been coming from given their histories. Thank you!
What you said at 12:12 made me realize I want to make it easy. I want the cost to not exist. I want to believe there can be a solution without the cost, I want to believe that I can achieve what I want with minimal effort. The times I think to myself "Life is hard", I also think to myself "But it is easy for this guy or that girl". I ask "Why is it hard for me but easy for them? What can I change to flip this situation", looking for a 'magical realization' that will eliminate the cost. After watching this video it made me think, that it was probably hard for them too at the start, they just kept going until it wasn't anymore. The reason I watched this video was to find a way to change without cost. I guess it does not exist lol. It is only the hardest in the beginning.
i call it not tired enough to be tired. have to be tiredf to be tired. or tired to be tired to be tired. then change is instant and easy. empower the will, discard the inner biquering of sugar cake inactivity and pathetism
Small steps, always, even if they sound pathetically small. August last year I started doing two push ups and 10 squats every morning, now I easily go through 80 squats and 20 push-ups in one of the 4 series I do daily.
I think the best way to make change is to lower the bar / your expectations. Change with small steps. With the room cleaning example, you can just start with start throwing out junk that you can take out with one hand. Easy. Then when you are done, you start thinking like wtf this took like 10 seconds to do... I can sacrifice 10 more seconds from my life to take out some more junk and you do it. You will start to feel success and feel motivated even by these small steps. You do not have to pay the full price at once if you do not want to. Take your time and pay in small amounts.
Well well well. I watched this video out of curiosity, and I ended up doing my laundry that I’ve been procrastinating on for week due to lack of motivation. I guess he’s onto something. Thanks Dr. K.
I struggled with getting up and going each morning and being in depressive ruts. At times stress would motivate me, but years later I realized I don't want to live under stress. I let stress go and then got into the rut again. When I started gardening 2 yrs ago I realized that I was curious each morning to see how the garden was doing. This got me out of bed and outside every morning. My curiosity is my biggest motivator. Now I'm trying to harness this to increase exercise, still in the planning phase.
The winter does present some challenges, but with my mild winters I can start growing year round. Now that I have chickens I am motivated to grow greens to feed them, those grow well in the winter.
Actually I find the middle part, where you think you hit a wall and don´t progress any further than what you´ve already archieved until now, to be soooooo much harder to get through than even starting something and keeping it up for at least a while. It´s the part that always kills/stops me with stuff. Doesn´t even matter what it is.
I'm only at 1:42, but I wanted to comment before finishing the video. In the recent past, every big change I've made has occurred because I decided I was tired of being garbage. That doesn't mean that's how it really goes internally, but that's how I felt about it. I lost ~100 lb* because I was tired of being unhealthy and drifting toward an early grave (it took about 20 months to do it, ofc), and I asked my gf at the time to marry me because I was tired of being afraid of commitment. I recently decided to go into therapy, but that one was less of a "fuck this bullshit, I'm tired" thing. It was more that I had gained some confidence by those other choices, and I now feel like I'm in control of my life. Some, not a lot, but some, of the credit for that belongs to Dr. K. Thanks, man! Also, kudos to Azrael! * Edit: btw, my brother had a massive heart attack and nearly died, so it wasn't that I just woke up one day and decided. I was forced to stare death in the face and that lit a fire under my ass. Also, I still have a LOT of work to do on myself, but now I'm starting to feel equipped.
In my experience, the you know that you've made it when you relapse, and when you do, you think to yourself "wtf is the point of this?" That question signals that you've embedded a more satisfying solution to the underlying problem, highlighting the limitations of the old habit Source: Compulsive Overeating ---> Enriching hobbies Body dismorphia related compulsive exercise---> body positivity and athletics for fun Chain consuming cannabis ---> being authentic in satisfying friendships Emotional enmeshment in intimate relationships -?-> healthy emotional/interpersonal boundaries (work in progress lol)
I think a big think about wanting change is that the first time you want to quit you have to commit. the 2,3,4 5th time it means less and less to yourself. "oh I want to stop drinking but I suck at stopping so why bother, tried to but here I am again and again"
@@xXTiggaBoBXx My point was not for motivation, just something I've observed. I dont think if you fail it makes it impossible just that its harder do to after you've failed. I used to struggle with addiction with pills and one day I was upset with myself of how I reacted aggressively from certain things and I cost me a relationship. I stopped taking all substances including prescribed from doctors. I relapsed once, worst than I've ever got a year later. Never touched anything again.
Looking back 5 years, I have changed DRASTICALLY. Even a year ago I was a completely different person. Just take small steps, cold turkey and extreme changes cannot work. Do the bad habit 5 minutes less and the good habit 5 minutes more and you are still moving in the right direction.
Listen to this made me realize that, weirdly, I had been using stuff to shield myself from bipolar disorder. As long as I hoard it prevent me from hurting myself or having a tragic end. Yes, prevent me from normally living but it was living...
Having done the thing where I woke up one day and said "I'm so fucking sick of living like this" I think that was the day 100% of me agreed my emotional codependence was a problem. Before that day it was like he said, it was giving me something. Until it wasn't.
This happens to me, well the reason was quite shallow. I got cheated so I was angry sad and start looking for something to blame. Until it hits me like she left me because im fat and unattractive and left me for more handsome guy. FINE I WILL CHANGE NO MATTER THE COST like the anger fans the flame of my resolve to become better so my ex gonna regret she left. Never tried working out my entire life and said fuck it imma hit the gym. I was 98kg then dropped my body weight to 67kg then start build muscle to 75kg in span of 5 MONTHS. Going to gym 6 days a week like it was ritual never skip a fucking single day because the anger and eat clean of course no cheats. I mean now I moved on and see the bigger picture. I already married now and expecting a kid next month. So yeah thats my true story.
I'm so glad I found your channel man, you make me want to be a better man, thank you so much for the time and effort you put into these videos, it is greatly appreciated.
To anyone reading this I’ve recommend this book time and time again, “Atomic Habits” an excellent book that teaches you how to form the habits you want in your life and stick with them
place of no pity, place of heart. shamanism. no timestamp. just do it nike. so be it. intent. tired to be tired. be your own boss now, not your inner dialogue voice biquering reason to not be optimal.
my adhd and depression, kinda helps and hinders my ability to quit, cause i lose interest in it, but it becomes so habitual, you do it without realizing. happened with food, weed, and now im about to quit nicotine, but i feel like im gonna relapse during the withdrawl period, i cant hold back... so my plan this time. im going to make sure i run out. tell the people close to me that smoke nic, to not let me have any no matter how bad i beg and plead. and im going camping this weekend, so i will be in the woods away from society to help make sure i dont buy more... impulse purchases fueled by addiction... rough
One thing that videogames taught me is, if life gets harder and harder and enemies kept getting in your way, if means youre on the right route. Wondering around, staying in comfy side quest zones wont get you anywhere in the main plot.
I'm really struggling with the idea of getting back into work. I lost my job just over 6 months ago after being on paid leave for most of the pandemic (gov covid support ended) and there's a mixture of anxiety over work/interviews and reluctance to give up all the freedom I've had recently. I want to get on with my life, get a job, move out, make new friends etc but the cost of giving up my free time and facing my anxieties seems too high, despite logically knowing it'll feel good to move on. There's been so much time to work on myself and start feeling like an independent, functioning adult, that it feels daunting giving it up. Not sure what's gonna make it click for me that staying stuck like this isn't the best way forward. Maybe thinking some more about what it is I'd be giving up by getting a job will help like Dr K suggests, but i feel like it's just going to convince me more that I don't want a job yet :/
Thank you Dr K. I love your content, man. I hope to be one day a psychotherapist myself that can help people as you do. You're really a role model on how the profession is as relevant as it was during all those millennia, albeit in every era under a different name and proficiency.
That's the same thing happened to me when i was at 105 kg . Because of my fat i couldn't do normal stuff properly. But one day i woke in the morning i said myself enough is enough and slowly started exercising. I used to have so much pain but slowly i started enjoy doing it. I realized that changes can be weird but cost good or bad will give you experience and motivation. Now i am very confident and getting into in my success period and ready to take risks without getting scared. 💪❤️
So ultimately... What does one do to change? Do we keep on changing and investigating what makes it harder to continue the change and every single time that we relapse, we have to bounce back as soon as possible and continue making and keeping that change?
That whole bit-by-bit thing Dr. K was talking about reminds me of that phrase "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." All the stuff you have in your "basement" of sorts, just take it one small thing at a time. And maybe you do start, but you end up throwing stuff back in again. That's okay, just take small steps again. Take smaller steps. Most importantly, don't give up. You're not destined for a lifetime of failure just because you failed a lot.
In case anyone ever reads this, I have a pretty simple explanation for how to quit/change. I lost around 70lbs in 2020, went from 200 to like 130 and I’ve kept it off without any problems. How did I do it? I hated being fat more than I liked food. Pretty much as simple as that. I can’t tell you guys how much I hated being overweight. It was all I could think about when I was cutting calories, how much I hate being fat and how badly I want to be in shape again. In order to change anything, you have to hate your current situation with more passion than you have to continue doing things the same way. Sometimes building up that passion takes time. Take drugs for example. In order to quit, your hatred of being addicted has to overcome your desire to take that drug. This is something I’m still working on
About 2 years ago I was sitting, playing D2 at my cousin's, and I was drinking pop and just though "wow, drinking this makes me feel like shit" so then i stopped drinking pop and eating junk food and started to eat healthy. Now I've barely been playing any video games and I've been working out pretty consistently and eating healthy, I feel a lot better about myself than I have ever in my life.
I smoked PCP, not regularly but sometimes I would. I had a terrible experience and I realized it was hurting myself and people around me. I cut off everyone that could influence me and I just smoked weed for a bit but not a lot, eventually I started smoking a lot of weed one time and stopped smoking weed. Been clean off of marijuana for 4 months and anything harder than psyches (tbh only did it annually, but by circumstance) for 3-4 years. I realized everytime I quit, it got progressively easier. However, in between all of that I abused literally everything like Cocaine, a lot of LSD, even Meth and Heroin a couple of times. Been doing something with my life like going to college and about to graduate at age 27 (Associates Degree) with 1 Professional Certification and working towards a 2nd certification this summer. Writing a book on Shell scripting to renew my Linux+ certification, and trying to get certifications and studying kinda keeps me busy and straight (im gay tho x333)
Everyone should hear this, it’s like he’s talking about within the human mind like he’s talking bout are problems making us hear are excuses that just step by step we can check one off the list
