My Website: wildtruth.net My Patreon: / danielmackler Trauma and dissociation can be healed - especially if we’re in the company of others who take their own internal healing seriously.
I befriended a young drug addict who is in a state-run recovery program. He also performs community service work in lieu of serving a jail sentence. He lives in a halfway house and works at a store where I frequently shop. At first, his confessions and revelations seemed to be over-sharing. As we've gained one another's trust, we've become closer friends, we've been sharing stories about our traumas with each other. I feel very fortunate to know him.
Since I've begun therapy I won't stop talking about childhood traumas and healing. It felt like oversharing at first, but then I realized all the people I thought were close were just not aware or defensive of both topics. Now I feel I don't share enough because I'm gradually separating from people who won't listen or react poorly to these discussions.
I’ve been working to heal repressed childhood traumas for several years. To even speak of trauma and healing is like speaking a different language to most people. Most people don’t even have a concept of unresolved psychological trauma.
You never forget ever. I have had to leave any toxic environment including work. 99.9 % of everywhere is toxic. When I’m alone is the only place that i can facilitate my healing. Self talk and prayer , reading and educating myself and listening and interacting with ppl like you Daniel
Sugabear 1 I had to finally leave my work. I left a year ago. I walked out . I had to take an early retirement bc I had to save my health. Panic attack every week. The last 6 years. Long story but I had no choice. I just thank God for Daniel he has validated every decision I have made. This last year has been profoundly healing. I’ve been able too devote a lot of things me to more self growth. I watch Daniel everyday and absorb everything from him. He’s the best bc he talks from his own experience and that is the best therapist u can ever have. Keep watching him. Thank u for sharing. I care about ppl like u and others bc I’ve been doing my recovery work for 25 years.
That’s why I left my job after being harassed. I feel the most at ease when I’m home alone but then too much home aloneness is so depressing but then If I go back out into the real world It means I’m back into the world of denial, gossip, and an all about me mind set. It happens all the time. I remember being at one job and just sitting and observing people. I would be the one to not get involved in the immature gossip but instead be with the clients. I get sick of going to work and dealing with the gossip then coming straight home and dealing with annoying neighbors and then more gossip. It’s like doesn’t anyone have a life? I don’t care that so and so steals boxes in our building. 🙄🤦🏽♀️
@@sugabear161 then I’ll be the one to get involved to. I think like he said putting the energy into my feelings and deep therapy. I tried doing that and had a bunch of break downs on the bus after reading this guys book. 🤦🏽♀️😞
Who says Google is not listening? Four years after you recorded this clip, on the day when I talked to someone about this very subject, I find your video the moment I open my RU-vid feed. Many people I know, or should I say, most people I know, do not like to hear about trauma; they are afraid to go into deep discussions of painful subjects. They run away from you; it’s hard to heal like that feeling that you are on your own. So thank you for validating us - please keep recording your thoughts like this. It’s really helpful. ❤
I'm 35 year-old woman now. I have worked in manufacturing for 7 years. From high school into my late 20s I believed I had potential to be a high-income earner. What kept getting in the way was my low-self-esteem, depression and low energy. At this point, I don't know if I'll ever get married and have children or be a parent of any sort. I no longer have quite as much confidence that I could be a six-figure earner. But I do know that through all my years of being angry and depressed, when I found manufacturing work, I was able to do a lot of healing on the job. I work with loading robots with metal parts at my own station all day and I've been working independently like this at my job for almost 3 years. The previous years of manufacturing work, I had many days of working alone but not quite as much as I've had now. I can only tell you there have been probably HUNDREDS of tearful days at work while working alone. The memories and bad feelings would just bubble up and I was able and will to process them, because I worked by myself for 8 hours and I wasn't at home to distract myself with TV, internet, food, drink or friends. So I have been one of the lucky ones to find a workplace conducive to healing and I continue to do so. I am beyond measure better than I was 10 years ago. I also have to give an immense amount of credit to my ex boyfriend. It's sad we recently broke up. I think therapy could help us work a few things out, but don't know if he'd go.... He loved me unconditionally 5 years ago. Rarely ever criticized me, never demeaned me. It WAS healing to be with him. It REALLY matters what and who is in your daily life in order to foster healing.
You are still very young and intelligent. Find a way more fulfilling job, you can do it. You are worth so much more. Give it a try, you are still so young.
Daniel, you my friend, are criminally underrated. What you have to say is pure truth that needs to be spread far and wide! You've helped me a lot with my grieving process. Sadly I could relate to how you felt as a kid, abandoned, lost, confused, hurt by the adults around me primarily my parents who had unresolved trauma when they had me and they repeatedly acted out their trauma out on me which really screwed me up. They forced me into psychotherapy when I was eleven years old and throughout my entire childhood, I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I was broken and that I was the problem in the family system. I am now eighteen years old and in twelfth grade and it's only recently that they began to realize that they were the problem not me. You're a great person and keep on keeping on. Cheers, Natalie!
This is so necessary. I have clients who are very dependent on family and toxic work environments, that when I help them explore the injustice of what has happened to them (their traumas), or help them get in touch with angry feelings instead of numbing through instant forgiveness of perpetrators, they end up saying or doing something in their lives to assert themselves and then its almost disastrous where they can no longer come to therapy because their support systems wont pay or threaten to cut them off.
Exactly. With me, i have to get to a position in life where I can tell the truth as much as possible. That means a savings account that means I cant be forced to stay at a job I hate, and no people in my life who aren’t on the same path.
I began healing my traumas aged fifteen. I experienced more traumas in my life too. I agree the possibility to completely heal is there. I am sixty now and am surprised that some of the deepest patterns are now becoming clear. The healing and self understanding continues. I deal with things as they come up. Thank you Daniel, I love your honesty! You are a breath of fresh air!
Positively shocking, as I was anticipating some negative confrontation! It's true that as more and more people work out their inner traumas and wounds, the whole world will have to change, and we won't look back, God willing!
@MGTOW Revolution Thank you so much!! I'll be sure to check it out. I'm about to give up on everything. Looking for help, why does it have to be so difficult? You're very kind to take the time to tell me about this book. (HUGS!!) :)
@MGTOW Revolution Hey, Thanks friend! I appreciate all the information you sent me. I'm into growing herbs and alternative health care too such as Reiki, Karuna Ki and Shambhala, etc. I'm studying to be a Reiki Master now. I know there are some flaky people into things like that, but I do my best to filter out those kinds. Big hugs to you my friend! ! :)
This is the realest thing I've seen about trauma in a while. Trauma is spreading like cancer in our society, what if we all stopped and just started to feel again? Keep being you!
I feel that those of us working through our trauma IS becoming more and more common. I think this is largely because of work like you and many others are doing on RU-vid. I really thank you for sharing your insights and contributing to my own healing. I'm not sure if you guys had a falling out or not, but I think I mentioned in you comments one time something like, "Hey, you should work with Stefan Molyneux sometime. He echos a lot of what you speak on." and then I found out some months later that you were on a Podcast/Video with him before. You and Stefan have helped me immensely in that, I feel you both give permission to feel anger at the abuser, even and especially if they were your own parents!!!
It would seem that the largest hurdle to healing our trauma, aside from our own reluctance to dig deep and feel the fullness of the emotion, is that often our fellow man or woman revels in seeing trauma perpetuated and unbridled in others for it offers temporary and illusory self-exoneration from one’s own process. It’s a cycle that is difficult to break without the type of curiosity you display. Thank you for your profound insight. It’s fascinating and illuminating to experience your candor, so short in supply in an age of narcissistic curation.
The sentence in this video that resonated with me was Daniel saying "I worked really hard to get over my traumas". I spent four years in group and individual therapy, and also worked really hard to get through the traumas of my terrible upbringing. I had a great therapist, and a group of likeminded people who shared similar experiences. The process was painful, dredging up memories and experiences that you almost automatically want to bury, but ultimately (for me) it was the only way. I was very upfront with my family about my therapy and my four siblings cracked jokes about me and (privately) derided my efforts. They suffered the same (and even worse than me), and yet none of them would seek help. Today, two of them are dead from their addictions, one is an alcoholic, and the other is morbidly obese. I am far from "healed", but I've gone on to live a purposeful and healthy life...and even found a healthy relationship (my first).
Thank you. You have just validated my whole journey through pain, sadness and grief. I am still on my healing path and although surrounded by some family who learnt to be understanding towards me I feel very lonely sometimes. I feel I'm on a different level especially with people who have done no therapy and who escape their own feelings, who can't communicate and reenact. But then I feel connected to something completely diffetent not from this world,feel part of the environment and understand who I am and my place in it. And just because of that I slowly feel I do get other people's nastiness and I am not so bothered by it.
If we all team up together to create a world like you describe it Daniel, then we can make a difference. Please keep up the good work. I’m so happy I found you and your channel.
I believe in exploring childhood trauma in talk therapy first, followed by grief work then EMDR to fully process........plus a large dose of bravery and determination to stay the course. Prepare to lose friends though because when you grow and heal you will realize you have collected some unhealthy characters when you were unconscious. The plus side is like being re-born again and seeing the world for the first time like it was meant to be.
I'm definitely trying to heal myself. I've been doing it since 2006 when I became aware of the damage that I had sustained since birth. But it was only about 7 years ago that I fully, and totally understood exactly where and how and WHY things went wrong. So if you feel like a minority, count me in in your tribe. Keep making these videos.
Really good. The idea if an environment supportive of healing. I find it almost impossible to find people to talk to. Every, single, time, once the subject of personal pain or difficulty is opened up - I get dominated by people wanting to tell me their traumas, but, significantkynthey just want to talk and have no interest in listening in return.
Daniel I am healing my trauma of removal of myself from my birth mother at birth using a Network Chiropractor and it is successful. You should look into it. It takes courage to change. I have worked for 7 years to heal, and it has worked. I am very determined. You are right you have to find the right people, and the right work, the right environment. Complete healing is the most important thing in my life, I understand and others so much more. And have insight into their issues this allows me to develop compassion towards them. In this way I also heal myself. I spoke to my psychiatrist about this yesterday. It is very difficult to face your life horrors, I know that and I understand why people are afraid, and my psychiatrist reminded me that only 10 percent of people succeed. I do understand why. It is just so hard,. we tend to act out our traumas on others with disastrous results. However if one person heals themselves, everyone else heals a little.
I agree with you. Instead what I experience is people not wanting to know even the slightest thing about what I've experienced and even once they sense my vulnerability, piling on.
It is possible Daniel. I have worked through my traumas from prebirth onwards. Finding therapists is the most difficult part of the process. In my experience the vast majority of people are totally unaware that they are traumatised and have dissociated from their adverse experiences. I have had very close friends who have asked me why I talk about my traumas and then say I am getting what is called secondary gain from doing so. Another term is “victim mentality “. In my family my of origin physical and sexual abuse of children was rife. The was also the case at school and in the wider community. I have a sibling and cousins who are totally unaware that they are acting out their traumas and self medicating. It is very very difficult to heal but possible. Thanks for making these videos it really is supportive to know that I am not alone and that others share my views.
I just feel like you, Daniel. How much better would it be to live in a very supportive environment, everyone on their personal growth path? I think it could be dangerous though if everyone started their healing at once, because at first, their would be a lot of chaos and destructiveness coming up (put down feelings of anger and frustration and hatred and so on, not that they are per se a bad thing, but at first there's a time where many ppl wouldn't know how to handle it without hurting others) and a lot of people would would stop 'functioning' (I hate this expression when dealing with diagnosis actually), which is again, sometimes very necessary and can be very valuable for some time even, but if like 10% of people would just not be able to get out of bed in the morning or do their jobs anymore or even get food on their own, it would just be incredibly difficult to keep all the others on their path, because they'd need to help those other people as well otherwise society would just break down. So if there was a big change coming, and I think it is, because otherwise humanity will erase itself from the face of the universe sooner than we think, it would maybe be better, if there were just gradually more and more people trying to heal until everyone was. And I think it will be like that, because nature is very wise in what she's doing. I'm 19 and I don't think I will see it in my lifetime, but it will happen, one day.
I can relate to that. Even when i feel good after my journaling or session with a therapist, I still need to enter my job environment, where there are alot of parents and people uninterested in healing or health in general. I know i am responsible for choosingthis environment so I plan to change it.
Hi Dan. Wonderful presentation. Awesome questions ! ~ I realize we have emotional, mental, & spiritual wounds that do not show .. and there lies the first obstacle. How can we be sensitive with others or ourselves when we can’t even SEE there’s been an injury ?? 🤷🏻♀️ At any rate, thank goodness, most of us are intuitively drawn towards experiences that are contributory to our personal healings. Unfortunately, there’s obstacle number two, because we can’t justify why we do what we do, or want what we want, to others or even ourselves. 🤦🏻♀️ ~ Eventually, most of us will make some progress as LIFE itself is supportive & affirming ! LIFE itself will provide many lovely people, places, situations, opportunities & experiences to heal & restore. Having faith to get well, be well, stay well, that is the job of the individual. 🎯 As for society being kind & nurturing, altogether, well we do experience & provide that as well. Every day, on a visible & invisible level, all people are doing marvelous things ! 🤗 Once again, it’s up to the individual to recognize this. Which brings us to obstacle number 3... which is, we tend to want to perpetuate the status quo. What I mean is, PEOPLE GET ATTACHED TO THEIR PAST PAINS & CARRY THEM AROUND LIKE HOLY OBJECTS. It just never occurs to a person, put it down & walk away. 🤷🏻♀️ ...The maximum reality, is that everything has the possibility to hurt, harm, help, or heal. 💝💞❤️ And to each one of us, let the journey begin 😘 PS.. we’re engaged in it whether we know it or not.. it’s part of the life journey.. ~ DO YOU FEEL TOTALLY HEALED, Dan ? 🤫 I personally think one can be restored, and revitalized more than anything else. And maybe, that’s a faster trip ✈️. 🤗
Thank you for another great video, Daniel. I just finished watching your film "Coming Off Psych Drugs", and loved it. The authenticity of the its content and the people being present during those 3 precious days. I am worried though, because I've been living in isolation, from friends and family, for many years (they are all in France). Breaking down the relationship with my parents anyway. I wonder: how can I heal if I'm so very alone most of the time? I try to find my tribe but am always disappointed in the lack of understanding -feeling like I'm re-traumatizing myself basically. at this point I feel my anti-depressant is replacing the friends I need in my life.
I wonder if mindfulness or mindful meditation has become a substitute for what you're proposing: it is now another of society's tools we self-administer to further dissociate from our feelings and traumas. Instead of furthering our evolution into another species, it stunts us, keeps us splintered and confused.
You're the icing on my cake, Daniel. 30 years ago, I realized that we are all the products [prisoners, robots, even] of our childhoods. Just knowing this lessened the shame & guilt I had about my crap life. But, just like you, when I expressed this fabulous realization, it went down like a lead balloon. Everywhere. It's really heartening to hear you speak......someone who really gets it and, even better, insight after insight, [ the icing!] never a false word. Genius. Having been 'in recovery' for 30 years, I have to say I've made very little progress, and am thoroughly hacked off. BUT, having spent the last week on RU-vid, I've been reinvigorated by Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory [which explains how trauma works] and Bruce Perry [who explains why 'therapy' doesn't]. AND, most excited by NEUROFEEDBACK. I tried to research it a few years ago, but there's much more online now. If they can do as much as they suggest with autism,........ they must be able to help me.... [And,since I last researched, it looks like a serious therapeutic practice has opened in London, at long last.] So, this is where I'm heading next............ When it works [smiley face], I'll let you ALL know.[really smiley face]
I really need that new species that we would become. It's as if that is the only thing that feels satisfactory for me. And I suppose that means I have a responsibility in creating it. Thank you for inspiration. I really enjoy your videos!!
I've only seen you mention childhood trauma. Myself and others feel that more things happened to us after 18 than before 18. I've always wanted to hear what you have to say about this more than anything else.
some spiritual teachers say that whatever trauma is happening to u as an adult is only a continuation of trauma before age 8, even when ur so small u cant remember and are pre-verbal so that always complicates things. keep in mind trauma doesnt have to be a huge big thing, like emotional/sexual abuse etc. it can be "simple", anything big or small that caused u emotional pain of any kind. i think most or all of us experienced some trauma before age 8, and if we cant remember it we think we're fine, but its not entirely true
Maybe because it's very rare. To have a meaningful impact as an adult an event must be very traumatic (like war) Also, unless you had a series of really unfortunate events as an adult (and in that case, I'm sorry), to say that most of your traumas or problem originate from adulthood is probably a way to deceive yourself, to hide the real childhood pain underneath. This may be done for a lot of reasons, one of them is to not relive the same pain, another one may be to not create confilct with your parents
@@newaira333 true, a divorce can be a painful and traumatic experience; but adults, unlike children, should have the emotional resoruces to effectively deal with the problem, and the experience, in that case, won't effect them that much on a psychological level. If it does, then it means they didn't have those emotional resources to begin with, so dealing with the fact or trauma directly won't help much
Andrej Pavlovic most of kids go thru daily divorce all their childhoods - daycare, emotionally distant parents, kindergarden, school. As an adult you have a choice, as a kid you need to put up with it no matter what.
Sorta makes me think the reason a trauma doesn't heal is because we may be in a situation where the trauma is still needed. I love relistening to these videos cause its like rereading a good book. There always some insight thats still to be gotten.
Too many people would rather sicken and die than face themselves and their trauma. That's how I interpret all the self-destructive behavior I see all around me (and within myself, too). Way back when, communal living seemed, for a while, to offer the possibility of a healing environment, but that experimental spirit seems to have passed. Anyway, you've asked many important questions. But I'm afraid the collective trauma we all face, with the accelerating deterioration of the global environment, will quickly overwhelm such personal concerns, and the trauma of the present and the near future will displace the trauma of the past. But I'm like you, apparently, in that I'm always thinking about these matters. Thanks.
That’s probably the reason why when ppl reborn after they die, they don’t remember anything they experienced. Coz they can’t carry all those traumas into a new life. Imagine your content today can come true in real life, the world today will be much more better in the present moment.
Late here: It really helps when expressing needs is that they’re ours to heal. Otherwise, people get too freaked out. Tough to do, but allows people to really hear us.
Fascinating to learn from Daniel. It triggered a memory from an important scene in Star Trek. Arguably one of the most important. In Star Trek V [The Final Frontier] the main characters McCoy, Spock and Kirk all face their Traumas. Kirk says "I need my pain". Accepting and moving on as the past problems recede. The clip is on 'These Are The Voyages'
There is the last possible wonderful piece in this wich is healing “ with” other people who you love and love you as well. I don’t think there is any stronger healing force. Sending 💗 to you and anyone who could happen to read this. 💕
forgivness isn't always about the other person. Sometimes you forgive people as a way to resolve your own end of the two sides in the situation. Its a way to release any debt of hate or anger you think you still owe that person for what happened. It frees you from feeling like you are obligated to hold on to those feelings because of what they had done, because those feelings are ultimately damaging to you as the person holding on to them. its like burning the candle on both ends to never forgive.
I would love to know if there is a healthy way of acting out trauma. Anyways great video. I love talking about trauma too but then everyone looks at me like a sick person.
Bioenergetic therapy.....there are a few videos on RU-vid that show the process of "completing" stored trauma. Titles like "The wounded Woman"...Carlos Caste Nada (not sure of the name, but Carlos IS the first name). Hope the videos resemble what you're seeking.
Same here, Daniel. And yes, I absolutely agree. However, healing trauma seems not to be the priority for everyone. I had many "careers" that I experimented with during my college years. I can't say that I enjoyed any of them.(Counselor, Artist, Computer Programming, RE sales, etc.) I was not gifted in any of those areas, therefore, I designed my self treatment (psychoanalysis) because becoming whole was my only drive and aptitude. I think traumatized people will gravitate to whatever natural talent they discover that will carry them away from their pain and suffering. Career- success people who desire to heal themselves, I believe, have very high defense mechanisms that keep them entrenched in very old behavior patterns. Such characteristics do not promote healing after a life time of "hiding out." (emotionally) There seem to be trade offs - good success in one area (career) will delay self recovery work due to financial and intellectual rewards, perhaps. These are the ones who maybe delayed the inner work. It's never too late, yet the battle for them will be to drop their defense mechanisms. It's hard for many to drop control issues, but really, they are only lying to themselves. I'm glad that we see the world similarly, Daniel. I enjoy all your videos, thanks!
Daniel, a close friend recently suffered her first psychotic attack. She has been practically abandoned by her family because for the past few years she accused her dad of trying to harm her. Unfortunately, she has lost her job and financial situation is dire. No matter how I try to have her get help, she refuses, does not even want to speak with a therapist and falls back to default state that she is fine, followed up by angry bursts. I am about her last hope and doing my best morally and financially. But can only do so much and I know homelessness will more than likely traumatize and worsen her situation even more. I would appreciate any insight into having her get help, but will not be upset if you don't answer. You are a professional and make living giving advise.
Hmm, well Pax, I don't necessarily have any good ideas... It's always very hard to be useful or helpful when the person himself or herself is not the one seeking the help.... I'm not sure if you've seen my films on psychosis...maybe they'd provide some ideas: wildtruth.net/films-english/ all this said, what about the possibility that she is not psychotic, or at the least that she is correct that her father is trying to harm her? or maybe he harmed her at one point and she's not accusing him of that but is now accusing him of that but through metaphorical means, which they label as psychotic? I've seen this -- parents abuse children, the children grow up and lose awareness of that abuse, but later accuse the parents of supposedly "outlandish" and "impossible" abuse, which gets labeled as psychotic, but actually on a symbolic level is completely correct, which validates the familial rejection of the person..... also, if she actually is psychotic, it's worth remembering that trauma underlies so much of psychosis -- and often early childhood trauma within the family. so maybe her accusations are not so far off, and her family is just protecting itself (at her expense) by rejecting her... just potential ideas...as I have no clue of the actual dynamics in the family... Daniel P.S. most therapists side wholeheartedly with the family against people in "psychosis," even when the family abuse history is verified....so for that reason it often makes sense why people prefer to avoid therapists -- and sometimes I think it's wise.
@@dmackler58 Thank you for your reply. After my friend's condition worsened I began doing a ton of research on the subject, which is how I came across your material. Watching them and listening to your perspective has given a new vision into how I now view the subject. Hence, why I reached out to you. Unfortunately I believe the field of mental health is riddled with sub-par care, or professionals more concerned with profits than patients. About a decade ago, my friend accidentally discover that her father is gay by going through his computer, he was in his sixties at the time, and "happily married" for over four decades. Unfortunately for him, and the entire family, he denied this for a couple of years after the discovery.......BTW, this time period coincides to when she experienced her first "abnormal" thoughts about her dad trying to "kill her" by poisoning the water. She is an open minded person and claims her dad's sexual preference did not bother her, and I believe her. But I wonder if subconsciously she took a blow, since she was daddy's little girl. My suspicion, which goes along the way of your thinking, is fortified by her repeated response; that all she needs is for her parents to "come clean and tell her the truth." I suggested to her and her parents to see a therapist together, but to no avail from all sides. The feeling of helplessness in watching someone you care for lose their capacity to live a full life is painful and frustrating. Thank you again for the reply, and for devoting your life in helping others.
@@SamSoMite421 Hi Pax. Hmm...yes... Well, for what it's worth when my parents split up (and ultimately divorced) I was 21 years old and it sent me into a major emotional tailspin, because it profoundly undermined some very important things I had been taught to believe as true, and also believed to be true, namely that my parents loved each other deeply and loved me deeply. although I'd already by that point had a lot of evidence to the contrary, at some level I still believed in the depth of their love for each other, and when they split it it did spark a crisis in me. in a way it was like a poison that had entered me -- it poisoned my innocence at some level. now that's not to say that I concretely believed that my parents were feeding me literal poison, but on some psychic level they were...and it's not such a stretch for me to see how some people make the symbol into something concrete...in essence, that he did poison her with his dishonesty...and sometimes that overt dishonesty is just the tip of the iceberg...or maybe often... but very painful...very hard.... also, I surely do hear you about subpar care, especially when it comes to treatment of so-called psychosis. basically, almost the entire mental health profession offers for people going through extreme states and altered perceptions is diagnoses, pills, and hospitalization... simply awful. Daniel
@@dmackler58 I completely agree with your analyses. She's a very sensitive, kindhearted individual, and despite her denials, it is very plausible that the discovery of her dad's homosexuality, her mother's alcoholism, and the eventual divorce took a huge toll on her. Not to mention that for years her dad put her sanity in question to deny his extramarital relations with multiple younger men....For the past months the answer by her family has been that she needs to be forced into a mental institution, something that I have vigorously fought against (especially after watching some of your material). At one point they called the cops on her because she confronted her dad in an aggressive tone. Fortunately the cops had some empathy, and I offered to have her stay with me until things cool down. Sadly, the default reaction in this country to any form of mental instability is to throw the individual in a hospital, drug them to the state of oblivion, bill the insurance companies to collect some cash, and call it a day! I really can't thank you enough, Daniel. I have learned so much from you. In a world filled with selfishness, and focused on financial rewards, you certainly are a breath of fresh air and a ray of hope for humanity.
@@SamSoMite421 oh, sadly this makes sense... by the way, have you seen the website www.madinamerica.com -- I find it useful, and also your friend might as well, if she's open to suggestions. at the least if she scoured the site a bit she'd find people with stories similar to hers...and that can go a long way to helping normalize her otherwise alienating experience... all the best, Daniel
How do you feel safe with people? You meet so many people and they probably don't see things the way you do and don't see anything wrong with the way things are. Don't you feel alienated and disheartened? I wish I knew how to heal the way you have.
I can’t take it anymore man. I can’t trust anyone not even my loving girlfriend, I’m in my head all day I’m insecure I’m fearful I can’t feel emotions, I can’t do this
I think family and friends are highly overrated. I maybe see a friend for a couple of hours a year, the only people I interact with are the checkouts at the local supermarket and my therapist once I week. usually via Skype. Otherwise, its just the odd comment on facebook. I have my animals and gardens, and that's ok with me.
I find my tribe of people that are addressing their issues in 12 Step meetings like Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families, ACA, CoDA and SLAA. Do you have something against these meetings Daniel? So much healing and a fellowship to boot.
HI Pageanon, I can't remember if I said it in this video, but before I became a therapist I was in Al-Anon, and got a lot out of it. But as time went I started having criticisms of various aspects of 12 step programs and the steps themselves, and still do. so I feel mixed about the 12 steps. yet I still see value in the programs in different ways, for some people at least. all the best, Daniel
You didn't mention 12 Step groups as possible places for people to go to find like minded recovering people in the video. Al-Anon wasn't comfortable for me but dang, I got a lot of recovery at ACA meetings. I wish you'd give them a try, they have lots of phone meetings one can attend. Adultchildren.org As for criticism of the program, the slogan "Take what you like and leave the rest." can keep a person working on themselves and not walking out the door to resume their old patterns of behaviour. I find if I stop working at it, all the former conditioning comes back eventually. Seems like a life long practice to me and I am very grateful for 12 Step programs.
Hi Daniel. Your videos helped me a lot about understading trauma. My question is: If you havent resolved all of your traumas could that be negative in terms of what you teach people? I havent resolved them myself, maybe wanna have kids. But when do i know im "ready" aka resolved everything?
It’s a very difficult world. I don’t like it because many people are very cruel. Especially at workplaces. Very abusive people because most people don’t even know how damaged they actually are. They have no clue 🤷♂️
Okay, Daniel. I have watched many of your videos and learned a lot from your films. But I wish you had more insight into healing between parents and adult children. I know few people who feel they were never harmed in some way by their parents. I know parents whose lives revolve around their adult children's troubles and unhappiness where attempts to help are sabotaged and seem counterproductive. What do you recommend when these children ask and depend on their parents for help and support but seem to self-sabotage and resist any attempt to revisit the past. Dropping out of the lives of these children will be seen as further rejection but staying in a toxic relationship seems worse and the parents become enablers. I think many parents would be relieved to be rejected and distanced by their children who seem to have no real desire to heal from the past and cling to their wounds. So what is it... abandon or enable? What if the parents also need to heal from their adult children's abuse?
Perhaps healing happens when we can have compassion for those who have harmed us in the past. It allows us to look outside ourselves and take back control.
I fucking hate this world and all humans, & I'm not allowed to be angry or showing it. Cause I'm the bad one, & not those who abused me for the bigger half of my existence.
Daniel I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, what you say in your videos and your energy, dedication, and preservation (which you say in this video you don’t know how you got). You believe we all can heal all our traumas. And then you give the many many many reasons why our jobs, family, society (especially Trump) and that people, TV, crimes, media, the US mental Health System including psychiatric hospitals, etc. do not provide any emphasis and safety in healing. You say that you are unique and I believe you are. However, when we live in a society (especially priests) that hides from things like sexual abuse and doesn’t even support people especially men who have been sexually abused. How do we go about creating a “new species”? This is something I have spent years and years trying to do. Heck just trying to educate people, including MDs, psychiatrists, good loyal friends, the US Mental Health Community. People are all too busy to listen. Just listen to what happened to the physician Semmelweis many many years ago on A 2nd Opinion podcast on NPR which talks about the fact that the Semmelweis Effect still exists today in our society. www.kcrw.com/culture/shows/second-opinion/the-semmelweis-effect As a 66 yo male PhD I have been emotionally, physically, and sexually abused and got no real support either as a child or as an adult to help me heal (though I tried many times) but instead became further severely traumatized. I wish I and others had your courage, energy, hope, and preservation to heal all our traumas. Unless there is a very very radical change in the things (that you mention in your talk) that prevent healing (which I feel are realistically impossible to change because of bias, ignorance, greed, the quest for control and power) there are many of us who will not be able to heal our traumas. Just look at the current suicide rate! I still support you and am not judging you. Any feedback from you or others would be welcomed. Take care Zel Dolinsky, PhD
Life... in and of itself... IS TRAUMA. Many times the healing process is also the learning process. It’s the process that makes you stronger. Everyone experiences this to some degree or another.
Pain and failure is a part of life and learning, but I think to call traumas just a life lesson I think is minimizing the severity of the impact that traumas have on the victim. Trauma is differentiated from pains and other short term struggles as it has a larger impact that is deep seated in the victim and is therefore difficult to recover from.
I don’t know. We will always have scars. The scar is the symbol of the wound. I guess if we don’t victimize ourselves we can carry our scars like beautiful tattoos that tell our stories of survival. My relationship with my trauma reflects itself in how i carry my scar. I never ask this question to myself. I don’t know why. May be I’m very far from healing, may be there’s no such thing.
Try healing this gunshot wound I've had for 27 years that still has physical manifestations. If you can't heal everything in a physical sphere, I don't see how you can heal everything in a mental sphere, but that's just my opinion. I was a paramedic. That's my point of view. I have a sister who's catatonic and lives in a group home. That's where I think she'll die and they were DEFINITELY giving her too much medication. I told them I'm a paramedic, and I know they're giving her too much medicine and if she dies of an overdose I'll make sure the group home is sued out of existence. I expected my mini rant to do nothing at all and was surprised that the next time I saw my sister it was obvious she was on less medication. She wasn't drooling uncontrollably anymore. The first time I saw her, she was almost in a medical emergency. I can not say I understand the medicolegal issues surrounding Mental Health practice. I had to force the hospital to see my other sister because if SHE said she wants to leave they "have to let her leave." It didn't look to them as if she were in an altered consciousness? Diabetic people say that too but we're not allowed to let them leave. Because they're in an altered conscious state & so was my other sister. But I was no expert, compared to the Psychiatric Nurse so I had to get "creative" then too,. Neither of these sisters will get better & they've had emotional traumas too. They're severely schizophrenic on top of the traumas.
Bugger. Think I posted before I finished. {This is the first time I've ever left a comment} Most excited by NEUROFEEDBACK. There's so much more information online now. If, as they say, they can help autism.....Well, it must be able to help me.. Again, thank you for videos. A sane voice in a mad world.
Is it possible to resolve trauma by taking on new perceptions which might be possible through being in a new environment? I had an experience for a couple of days where I felt very "whole" and I was seeing life through the eyes of wholeness. I can't exactly remember how I fell into this unfamiliar way of perceiving things because I was exploring many different things at once, sometimes a new philosophy that I haven't heard before can bring this about for me until something happens and I slowly get triggered out of it and can't remember how to get back .. ultimately our traumas are just bodily memories that trigger certain pathways in our brain which then create a matching brainwave/breathing pattern which cause our cells to vibrate at a certain frequency... and delivers a hormone/neurotransmitter recipe accordingly to our brain and body. This sets up thought patterns and behaviors ... So how do we heal? Do we just white knuckle it and force our bodies not to react? To me, that's a form of repression. I think that whatever we practice grows, whatever we focus on grows.. I don't know how to heal yet, but I have been shown that full healing is possible if one can figure out how to take on a new perception and practice it over and over... The body gets addicted to the pain body, I think, it gets addicted to the fast pace which makes it hard to switch into a different brainstate imo
