Celeste Might've Changed my Life. 

That Game woke me up to the cruel fact that I suck at 2D platformers

Something I never noticed in the ending cutscene - Badeline’s still carrying her pack. As a sort of allegory, Madeline puts down her pack just before Chapter 7, to represent that, while she hasn’t gotten rid of all her issues, she’s putting them down for now to finish climbing this mountain. However, when Badeline separates, she’s still carrying her issues, kind of like she’s carrying them for Madeline. Neat little detail!

"High school main character syndrome" should be an actual term

when people say "celeste mightve changed my life" its either about mental health or gender and before starting this video i genuinely couldnt tell which one it was gonna be

Beautiful video.

90% of me: "What a wonderful story, it's fantastic to hear someone who got so much out of this game that I love; even if we are clearly very different people it's cool that this game both got us out of our worst instincts and was a force for good in both our lives." 10% of me: "How dare you ignore those strawberries I'll fight you"

Celeste made me realise that depression and anxiety were like scared personalities in my head. They're a part of me, but they're not me, and for how shitty they make me feel sometimes they come from a place of caring. Anxiety is like a carer that wants for you to not get hurt ever, and depression is almost like your inner critic that wants things to be better and so points out what is wrong. But here's the thing, a lot of the time _they're wrong._ So you need to treat them as other entities separate from yourself, and listen to those thoughts that appear, but reason with them logically. Is the thought valid? If it is can you and (more importantly) _do you want to_ do anything about it? If the thought is wrong or is coming from the wrong perspective (since depression and anxiety are incredibly dramatic they can be lead down rabbit holes of negativity), then you can stop worrying about it. The hard part is learning when the thoughts should be listened to, and when they shouldn't. It was all from that section where you drop in the chasm into the mountain and you meet your shadow. They had a conversation like "why are you like this?" "it's only because I don't want you to get hurt" "but I want to live my life" "let's work together then" or something like that. It was profound in my eyes, the connection between depression and anxiety with the Jungian shadow is one that I'd never thought of before. Like I thought of the shadow as simply the emotions that lead to the capacity to be evil towards others, but it's not just towards others, you can be evil to yourself too. The emotions that lead to that aren't inherently bad, anger should be directed towards injustice, sadness towards what could be better, jealousy to make us work harder for what we want, shame for lessons to be learned, and so on. Negative thoughts and emotions ideally should lead to positive action. That's what it means to integrate the shadow. But I didn't extend it to myself, I thought of it purely in terms of emotions towards others, but you can do it to yourself too, and that very line of thinking helped me immeasurably when dealing with my depression and anxiety. They're not meant to go away, they're meant to be harnessed. The mountain as a symbol for mental health was amazing too. A challenge to be overcome, and once you do, you're powerful because by the end you've built up a set of tools to overcome obstacles. Also those controls are fucking TIGHT dude, I love that the game is at times immensely difficult, but it controls so good and you don't lose much progress when you die. I'd do the same jumps hundreds of times at some sections and I never got frustrated or bored. This is one of my all time favourite games.

From someone who is going through a tough struggle in HS right now, thank you. You described some of my problems in a greater detail than I really even could before this. It seems weird, but thank you for helping me better understand what’s going on in my life

There was a really good quote from RWBY that basically said “if you look back on the past and feel that you messed up or are embarrassed that just shows how much you’ve grown”

Really thought provoking video lead. Definently made me think about my life comparing it to what you said. Another masterpiece as always

Celeste was an egg-breaker for me. I'm glad to see you make a video of this.

Watching this while procrastinating on a presentation is the peak of irony

This hits home. "Comfortable but miserable" kind of describes the entirety of my teenage years. Things are better now, but it's always a struggle. Games like Celeste make it better though. Excellent video.

honestly, Celeste is such an incredible game. I adore it.

“I was miserable before, but at least I was comfortable” damn, that’s some good writing.

I understand that this is a very serious video but “badeline” made me laugh a ton

Celeste is *NOT* about "changing your whole Life for the better" but rather "coming to Terms with yourself" and take on your *greatest Fears* straight on! When I got this "Climb the Mountain Allegory" I nearly freaked out... I was an eye opening moment!

"Celeste Might've Changed my Life" Might've Changed my Life.

I love how thought provoking Celeste is

I totally know where you're coming from, it's like i can relate to almost everything you just said really. Celeste really changed my whole way of thinking about my relationship with my mental health. Most importantly i think for me to understand was that this other part of yourself, those habits, coping mechanisms, negative self talk, all of that, its trying to keep itself, you, safe. It, that is to say you, learned at some point through whatever experiences that you need to do these things for whatever reason to keep yourself safe from something, failure, pain whatever. It's that moment with madeline hugging badeline that really gets me tearing up when i see it, because i can so strongly relate to that in the way of reassuring that side of me that its ok, we dont need to use those habits that might have protected us in the past, we are stronger, we can grow, we can succeed as cheesy as it sounds. And of course you slip up, it's ok, just like they said in the end, if you're working with yourself and moving forwards thats amazing and you'll be on the path to being your own best friend, it just takes time, care and awareness of yourself and what got you here and why you do the things you do. It really is a special game, i'm sure we can both there someday, It sounds like you're already doing great and you should be proud too.

You know what I find interesting? Chapter 7 isn't the last one. The last chapter is Farewell. While seventh chapter ends on a high note, the ninth chapter starts rather grimly. The old lady is dead and Madeline blames herself for not saying goodbye properly. She is in denial and Badeline doesn't want to help her. Madeline relapsed. The ending of Farewell is comforting, but realistic. Ascending the mountain wasn't the end, because there is no happy end in life. There will always be struggle and there will always be something else to accomplish. Stories like this one tend to end at the highest point, when the main character is finally truly happy. But there is always a day after this. And the next one. And one more. A week. A month. A year. A point of time, when this great achievement is far behind and impermanence of that once found happiness is obvious. Celeste shows it very clearly.

9:34 Top tier foreshadowing - great vid as always Penelope!

I love watching people discover infinite dashing in water. Never really super helpful but it always feels so fun. You can see the joy in the movements

I've always interpreted celeste in the most simplistic way, that running from your fears makes them stronger. I first started playing the game when i was 13 in 8th grade and now that im older, im starting to see the finer details in art and this video is an example of this. Thank you so much for your thoughts on the game, i was always puzzled on a "deeper meaning" to the game and im happy to see someone try to figure it out/explain.

Celeste has made me appreciate life more.

What I love about Celeste is that everyone can personalize it in different ways. Celeste already changed my life, but this video has given me another life changing perspective I didn’t get from the game itself. Everyone has something different they can learn from Celeste, and in turn have something different they can teach others thanks to Celeste.

Barely started watching the video yet but I'm already so excited. Celeste has become my favorite game of all time recently, and I've felt a strong, deep connection with it ever since my first time playing. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it!

watching your vids makes me realize how easy I had it in high-school... I literally never experienced a SINGLE thing you have, so I find it hard to relate. However it allows to see life through a different lense.

Dude ive been struggling with old habits and having these troubles recently, this was really incitful so thank you

I'm so glad that you decided to make a video about this wonderful game, one of the best platformer that has came out in recent times and the music is just too good

Little did she know.

...wow. I'm a teenager in high school in a super similar spot, and this video seriously gave me a wake up call. Thank you.

Today I was crying like crazy when I got to the endscreen of Farewell for my first time... I don't know if this game will help me through my life, but for sure it's the best game I've ever played...

Thank you so much for this video. I had to stop multiple times while watching this video because it brought me to literal tears. I've been struggling with myself for so long and I've always thought that it was something that I had to rid myself of or overcome. I'd never thought of it as something that I had to come to terms with before (well i have but I haven't, its hard to explain, I guess comfortably in pain is the best way of putting it). This video helped me realise that I shouldn't ignore, supress, or be overtaken by it, but instead I should try to live alongside it. I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping me take a step closer to whatever it is I'm looking for. I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep this mindset but I hope it lasts :)

The aside about how recovery and self-improvement is a long, slow, arduous process really resonated with me. I know that (along some axes) I'm better off than I was two years ago but there's never any immediate change. Still sleeping at weird hours, still inconsistent, etc. But the biggest change that comes first is just a sincere belief that you *can* keep getting better.

dude this video gave me such a reality check. you literally described me in the beginning of the vid and the rest of the vid made me realize so much about myself. im in literal tears because i dont know what to do with myself even though you described it.

I expected this video to be like other videos on similar topics where it would allow me to empathize better with people I know who struggle with mental health, and then you spoke to me, like you were inside my head! Thank you, I needed this video!

"im brootforcing my way through self understanding" that is such a brilliant way to put it. you have a way with words man

You're so good at these videos; you see through things i would have missed, and so elegantly and eloquently put into words things i would have only subconsciously and emotionally connected with. You make me examine myself through the lens of video games and make me want to be a better person; in addition to telling such a powerful and empathetic story of your own. I love these kinds of videos please never stop doing such great work!

celeste is one of my favourite games of all time, and the soundtrack is amazing, I love everything about this game

hits close to home, in just about the best way possible. as per usual, thank you for entering my life!

This is one of your most open and honest videos about your life, and it hit me right in the heart to hear you say the things I too have felt in my teenage years. For what it's worth, thank you. Thank you for this video, and for being on youtube.

After the most recent video, this one hits pretty hard.

This is the Celeste video I’ve been looking/waiting for. Could never exactly put into words why this game resonated so much with me, but you did a great job of explaining its beauty.

I did not expect to relate to most of the video. Even though I don’t have any mental illnesses that I’m aware of or have any addictions, I always fall back on being “comfortable but miserable,” and as I’ve realized, I’ve always had bad habits and self-destructive behavior. I have poor self-esteem and rely on praise and validation from others for that, (when there isn’t anything pressuring me not to) I stay up until 2-3 in the morning and wake up at 11-noon, and on those days I when I oversleep I eat instant noodles because I’m starving and can’t be bothered to use a stove to cook. I tend to escape to daydreams or video games or other things, and I pursue academics because I thought it would make me happier in the long run and because it made me feel worthy. But really I think it screwed me over. I was using it to avoid problems in my life, and despite getting me an extremely good GPA and AP scores as well as college credit, it was very taxing mentally to the point that I didn’t have much energy for anything else. I’ve never been truly happy as a teen. Yeah, I’ve had happy moments, but I wasn’t happy. I’m an adult and have two weeks of high school left, and while I’ve grown and improve, I still have a lot to ground to cover.

Your relationship with yourself is like your relationship with any person or animal. You affect each other, and bringing the other down will bring you both down. Mutual understanding and a willingness to communicate and work through problems together is the only way for things to work, even with your own mind

I have never clicked on a video so fast. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this game, and I’m excited that you love it too.

Celeste and still was one of the most hard hitting games I've played because of how hard it called me out. On bad habits, self destructive tendencies and whether i realized it or not, gender identity. I played celeste a good few years ago, during one of the hardest times mentally, and I was scared that I could relate to Madeline and her struggles so much. From dealing with depression and anxiety to finding out who you really are. Its an absolutely amazing game i can't bring myself to play because of the emotional impact it had on me. Hell, even know it's effecting me. When Maddy Thorson said that Madeline was trans, i fully accepted and simply moved on because i myself wasn't trans right? Skip a good few months later and now im having my second gender panic, i still don't know what pronouns to go by or what i identify as. And yet, i still relate to Madeline on that front. Finding yourself is a scary thing, and even know, with the support of a lot of friends and my gf, im still scared of whats to come. But, im hopeful. It all worked out for Madeline in the end, and if i keep at it, maybe I'll figure things out too. Thank you.

I'm a teenager myself and just knowing this game exists gives me faith I'm not the only one who feels/felt this way, I can connect with this game in so many ways and it calms me to know I'm not alone, it changed my mindset to help anyone I find that has these struggles too instead of focussing on only myself and locking myself away, since making people happy is what truely makes me happy.

I... cant process why yet but I just got to the end and cried. This game means a lot to me already, and I think its lessons are so incredibly important. It just keeps teaching me thing, every time I come back. Thank you, I think I needed this

It's not very often that a video brings me to tears, but this one is too relatable. Thank you for making this beautiful video.

Great video. I interpreted the game's message as a depiction of coming to terms with a kind of abstract mental illness that I have no real experience with but you did a really great job of breaking it down in a much more relatable way.

Honestly, thank you for sharing your story. Your progression through school and into adulthood is so similar to how I used to feel in school and how I feel now. I’m only 21 and have tried to combat negativity with ideas of self progression and can get myself easily motivated but it feels like it’s so easy to bring me all the way down and when that does I combat it with stress eating which just ends up making everything worse. And the way you described how you justify it is literally me, I’m so bad for coming up with reasons why a lot of my self-destructive behavior is ok. With this video, you’ve done something I honestly wish I could do and that’s compile my thoughts in a coherent manner that makes sense instead of just random intrusive thoughts entering and leaving my head with no recognizable solution. Watching this has legitimately helped me and this couldn’t have been easy to make so thank you.

Holestry the intro is me rn. I’m just in pain.

Thank you for putting your feelings about this game into words, as it's helped me significantly to understanding why I love this game so much, and love it even more now. Throughout my first run, I didn't understand the theme like... at all. But after hearing it put into words, I definitely want to play the whole thing over again just to experience those emotions myself.

I finished Celeste yesterday, and i"m glad I bought it. The controls are super tight, and platform is very satisfying. One of my favorites parts of the game was Madeline reconciling with Badaline, and playing through segments of every level as Super Madaline. Gonna be honest though...was I the only one who thought I would have to play the game over again, a la Ghost and Goblins?

I'm so glad you finally made a video on this masterpiece

This video spoke to me. I just turned 28 and I’m about to graduate college. I live with my parents in the house I grew up in that’s in a kinda small town. I want to be a screenwriter and hopefully move up to being a film director. But there’s one problem, I’m afraid to drive a vehicle. A lot of people I know have some kind of freelance work in Houston or other places. But I feel stuck and stressed every time I wake up in the morning. That hinders my ability to write anything and I keep putting it off tomorrow or next week. I’m also afraid to live on my own or that I won’t be successful. But I need to challenge myself, this is my mountain I’m trying to overcome.

it is currently 1:12am, i have work tomorrow and am on my own path of self destruction. that voice in the back of my head rings loud and clear day in, day out, especially because i embark on extremely difficult, mentally and physically taxing, and not to mention expensive projects, all to "prove i can do it" to myself. Maybe i need to scale back, or take breaks between projects (i currently have 3 on the fly and one on the back burner). I think tomorrow i'm going to rewatch this, and maybe go to bed earlier. I think i need to work on myself more than I do cars and motorcycles.

Absolutely perfect video on one of my favorite games of all time. You make some of the best content on this site, keep up the fantastic work!

Thanks for this video, it really put a lot of how I was feeling into perspective and even if I might not fully understand it yet it makes me feel not as alone with my problems and that I can keep improving :)

What an incredible video. Until now I had only one video I've ever seen that truly felt life changing and now I can say Ive seen two. 🥺

This actually helped me understand the game a ton more. Thanks for this great video!

What a coincidence. You uploaded this on the month I started and finished the game. Your video is very relatable and thought the same thing during my play through. The story is very minimalistic but does have a lot of meaning depending how you view it.

I don’t care what else I am doing, if I see a Leadhead notification, I *immediately* click.

This game resonated with me on a level that far surpasses words, especially the music. For years I despised myself and even engaged in self-harm from time to time, I was depressed and deeply pessimistic. I found this game during 2020, a tough period for literally everyone, but it truly proved it’s worth to me over the years as I grew and learned to understand its true message. I eventually overcame my depression, and I always still think about how much I empathize with Madeline as a character, how much she and the game itself have inspired me. As of writing this I am struggling with intense anxiety and I find myself looking back to this game for comfort and reassurance, and I’ve realized that the game is still teaching me new lessons about life every time I look back on it. Seriously, man, this game is phenomenal, I’d even say perfect.

This video: every quote, every story and every emotion in it; stroke to close to the heart. It's like you were describing my life and what I'm going through and am a couple of steps behind you. Thank you for being there and going through that hardship. Thank you for sharing. Thank you a lot.

"Madeline is her own best friend" My eyes teared up, I think I might have to replay this game and for real learn a lesson, thanks man

This is the best video you made imo. Made me cry and reflect on the exact thoughts that you've been having. I need to internalise it now. Thanks sweety:*

Recently moved out of my parent's house and this video hit me for sure. If I work smart enough I'll never have to live with them again and can have my own freedom and do my own thing. If I do not I'll have to go back and live with them. I already rode the couch for 5 months before having my own place and I really don't want to go back. I love my family and am so thankful for their kindness, but living on my own has helped me see the light. I never want to leave it again. It does feel like I am taking some steps into real darkness and there's the possibility of having my own "Summit" if I push through all the things. Yeah, this video hit. Thank you for making it.

Expectation: a video about Celest Received: Psychotherapy

this aged well

"Brute force self-understanding" Oh holy crap, you put this into words! I've had this problem for many years and you've finally put it into words! Damn, I need to get myself a therapist. But finding the right one is a huuuuge uphill battle, especially here in Russia for anyone... over the rainbow, so to speak. If I found it too daunting to learn a single new calculus formula and failed out of university, how does life expect me to even begin looking for a rainbow-friendly therapist in Russia? Well, it doesn't expect me to. It's not a living thing. The only one expecting me to do it is myself. How fun.

Celeste helped me cope with depression and anxiety and it stuck with me. The single fact that I managed to beat already almost 2/3 of a game as hard helped me with my self-esteem issues. Celeste really touched me on a personnal level and it's not for nothing that it's my third favourite game ever behind only Portal 2 and Minecraft. Oh and also Reach for the Summit might the best peice of video game music ever composed.

I genuinely look forward to your videos Lead, and the variety of topics you cover means there's always something new and different mixed with stellar insight and real thought. I think it's amazing what you've achieved and discovered so far - it makes me all the more excited to see what will come next for you. 💜

This reminds of Flower Sun and Rain a game which has a similar message but is about the protagonist getting consumed by his anxieties and is one of the most depressing games I've ever played.

Fantastic video. Great script, respect really. BUT I am not sure if your goals are the right one. You made it sound like in the end goal should be, that you clean the house, that put of the bad food, that overcome your lazyness, to become the person with the will of steel. Up to that point I was with you. I think the point isn't pure self control, but knowing yourself enough, that you mediate and deal with yourself, your weaker tired moment. You will never be perfect in your habits, but you can negotiate, change and slowly shift your habits and behaviour. There will be the 'bad' days and you need to accept them, but you can manage their occurence and find good habits to deal with it.

I had a feeling there was a video on Celeste coming once the big announcement came.

Wow! You are an inspiration for anybody struggling with self-doubt and avoiding those issues by being impersonal/inauthentic (me). Thank you for showing us who you are, with all the false-starts and doubts. This is especially because I've seen the parts of yourself you lay bare in your future content. I am lucky I get to watch someone who makes such an effort to be geniune despite how hard it is.

This game reminded me of how 1st party titles are great, but indie games will always have a sort of uniqueness that 1st party titles will never be able to replicate.

For my 2 cents, you might be focusing too much on goals and external milestones - when you do clean your house once a week, you'll feel exactly how you do now and feel kinda bad about not doing the next thing. You're never going to be your own best friend all the time, and to some extent you've got to accept things as they are at the moment

"I'm just tryna brute force my way thru self understanding." I felt as tho that physically hit me. I had to stop what I was doing at work and rewind that. Love your content. Hope you're doing well

clicked as quickly as i could, celeste being my favorite game ever

17 minutes of real motivational speech

I wish the internet had landed on calling her Sadeline. I think it makes more sense than Badeline, and does a better job of capturing her character. She's afraid of failure and afraid of change. She's not bad, just sad and scared and in need of reassurance. Never block out that part of you that says you can't do it, that it's too hard. It's just trying to protect you. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to listen to it. You'll be happier with yourself if you work with your fears instead of fighting against them. Such a great game.

I know this video came out awhile ago so you probably won’t see this but that beginning bit helped me a lot because I’m going through the exact same things. What you said gave me hope for the future. I’m gonna go play this game and come back to watch the rest of this video once I’m done

This is why I love this channel, its better then what I feel any therapist could do, you explain to me exactly what im doing with me saying to myself "oh I only smoke weed for fun" when I really don't and every little detail going on in my head that I could never explain. Thank you

13:47 - "She's healthier then I am right now" Meanwhile Madeline flies straight into stratosphere.

Honestly, Celeste was kind of strange for me. It was a really good game, but it felt like a message for someone else, formatted for me. How do you translate art?

Leadhead I'm no gamer (subscribed from your Pros and Cons and Space Odyssey videos) but I'm just here to say that your ability to speak and express complex ideas can attract a diverse audience. Your words resonate with me so I tune in and listen, despite not having an interest in gaming. I like to think this is rare in the gaming community, which makes your content very unique. I'm sure that's a goal for you and it's your intent to have a wide audience, and I just think you're doing a great job.

Man, I was having lunch and I wanted to see something entertaining while eating. I randomly checked your channel, in which I am subbed but I don´t really see your videos much often because I´m not playing any game at all. And I encountered this. Glad I did. You went deep with me. My life is totally changing for the good and I don´t really know if it will turn out well at the end, but at least I am trying. Superb video. Cheers.

This is a damn good game. With how much it's made me feel, think, and discover - I don't think I'll ever really forget that this game existed. I'm extremely self deprecating. I feel as if I'm in an endless cycle of never being good enough, never being able to improve, never being able to do anything worth it. My friends (although, all of them over the internet) could tell you this firsthand. There has been far too many times when I've felt like "I'm not being good enough", or "I will never be worth anything", or "You guys shouldn't treat me as a woman because I'll never be a real one" and so on (for context, I'm trans). What this game taught me is that rather than trying to deal with those thoughts and feelings with external means, I need to deal with them myself and accept that I am who I am. Rather than trying to ignore thoughts of who I am, I should come to terms with it and use them to better myself. Which is what I've been trying to do for a while, now.

I don't normally leave comments on video's especially ones where a lotta people say the same thing that's well, kinda hit them. But Christ it's like yer speaking to my soul here. Rather recently I just had this kind of realization, y'know, I'm mad at the world, mad at everything, but it's kind of self-destructive. Scratch that, really self-destructive. I got a few months, well, two months, to graduate and I see that this kind of mindset has kind of screwed a lot of me over. I guess, I thought the same kind of things too, where I left behind my supposedly, "Bad" half and was able to be rid myself of these issues but they came back, I relapsed. I let my brain get muddled in well, the best way to put it is gory violence. Stuff like Hotline Miami level violence, where I visualize it and I guess sort of feel it. It's like an addiction, or well, bad habit. Also, the points you mentioned where it's hard to stop doing bad habits and keeping things consistent, and well, self-destruction, it hit hard. But it also helped me kind of see that it was a worrier in me. I've been consumed with politics, anti-corporate messages, conspiracy theories, and all sorts of shit, I've become horribly negative and just blamed the world, and said that it's the reason why I can't do shit, why I can't do homework or whatever. I thought I could just blame the world and sink into miserable comfort. I don't know where to go right now, I'm not even sure how to even overcome this, I thought I had this nailed down back then like you said I thought I had myself under control, but you said it best, I've been in a bunch of ruts for several years and I guess I need to find balance. I also thought I was selectively lazy but you said it best again, it was an excuse to run from responsibility. I've rambled quite a bit now, I'm sorry about that. But, I just want to say thanks, for helping me see what the hell was wrong with me and what kind of steps I can take to remedy this.

I pour myself into hobbies and taking on new ones, always under the guise of it helping my creative projects. Now here I sit with tears streaming down my cheeks. I always thought I liked my solitude cause I don't mind being alone, but at the end of the day I can barely stand to look myself in the mirror. I've never liked myself, only some of the things I create. The biggest take away from this video to me is I need to take some time to get to know myself better. Don't brush off discontent with a cycle of shifting blame, but accept the reality that is, and learn to love what life I have been given.

This video pretty much sums up why Celeste is a comfort game for me. I’ve even started using the feather!

celeste is the transification beam

My egg was already broken/breaking when I played this a few days ago, but this was there for me when I’m about to start HRT, somehow made me feel even more certain in my decisions.

I really appreciated the self-reflection in this video. It gives me a lot to think about. Keep breathing and best of luck to you in your journey

Just found your channel through this video and man, what a good one to start on. Really thought provoking stuff

I've climbed a lot of mountains, both metaphorically and literally, but sadly I think that every peak I reach makes me less convinced that climbing any of them is worth it. The journey is often given meaning by the story you tell yourself about what will happen when you get to the peak. I'm still working on realizing that you need to find a way to enjoy the journey, because the peak means nothing.