Chuck Norris jokes by

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Опубликовано:

29 дек 2022

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Комментарии : 2,8 тыс.

@hollowshield2315 Год назад

chuck norris was sent to prison, and after 12 years, the guards were released

@Okipullup6103 Год назад

Oh this is a good one! 😂😂

@sirpreston7282 Год назад

Perfect

@progamez57 Год назад

Chuck Norris is on another level of god

@sirpreston7282 Год назад

@@progamez57 God claims to be almighty then remembers chuck Norris

@dont_worry68 Год назад

@@sirpreston7282 fax

@megaman992 Год назад

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

@kakomol9339 Год назад

Lmao

@Batman-kx6oy Год назад

Best comment

@justarandomdude875 Год назад

Get this man to 69 likes

@MrDreshawn12 Год назад

😂😂😂😂

@noahjahnsen7841 Год назад

When Chuck Norris was kidnapped, the cops negotiated the release of the Kidnappers.

@kakomol9339 Год назад

Underrated

@maxmanchik Год назад

Chuck Norris wasn't kidnapped, he took the cops as well as the kidnappers and they negotiated with Chuck Norris

@Pantoja. 10 месяцев назад

@@maxmanchiklmfao 🤣

@gabrielvazquez1691 6 месяцев назад

Legit

@NoName-mi9pd Год назад

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

@miyounggggg Год назад

the fear of spiders is arachnophobia, the fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, the fear of chuck norris is common sense.

@iprefertobeanonymous3920 Год назад

Good one🤣🤣

@Hunwarrior9749 Год назад

Lol😂

@rest1585 Год назад

👏🏾

@ishanpahwa1179 Год назад

This might be my new favourite quote/sentence.

@DigitalPhoenix. Год назад

@@ishanpahwa1179 mine too

@doormatcat Год назад

When Chuck Norris blinked, he didn't blink, reality just dissapeared for a moment

@da3sthebest Год назад

@@lexmiller3025 omfg be quiet

@imsippinteainyacomments309 Год назад

@@da3sthebest 👑

@Jamshiro Год назад

@@lexmiller3025 it's fine if its original 😑

@kekskruemel05 Год назад

404th like not found

@sonicknight7911 Год назад

I am the 668th like, I did what I had to for the next one 🫡

@DTSephiroth Год назад

Every night, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

@REAPERTHEDEATH 7 месяцев назад

GOOD

@Blueherobextra 4 месяца назад

Lmao

@-ZCV Год назад

Chuck Norris is the only person to punch a cyclops in between the eye 😂😂😂

@notKytra 6 месяцев назад

@someoneig-yn4xy 5 месяцев назад

Chuck Norris was the one to split it

@iQuoxiq Год назад

Chuck Norris never flushes the toilet, just scares the shit out of it.

@Novadeus07 Год назад

🤣💀

@coreyproyes1031 Год назад

@@Novadeus07literally 💀

@alishablair3683 Год назад

Nice one!

@crazynoob3632 Год назад

Gold 💀

@candle_eatist Год назад

this is genius wtf

@Louieevens Год назад

Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago, death just hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him

@ericolens3 Год назад

He's still alive at age 82. Legend says that once he reaches age 100, he'll count back down to age 1, and decide if he still wants to remain with us mere mortals or ascend to demigod status with his father Dr. Seuss.

@toothandclaw4347 Год назад

Lol

@v1ncent426 Год назад

Death didn’t kill Him he killed death

@theamateurbiologist9215 Год назад

"death can have me when it earns me"

@ericolens3 Год назад

@@theamateurbiologist9215 Death: challenge accepted.

@mikkeljakobsen4068 Год назад

Scientists have discovered that solar eclipses is just the sun losing staring contests with Chuck Norris

@goranpersson7726 6 месяцев назад

Couldn't find somewhere to post this so here goes. The losing Virginity before his dad is technically possible. You only need the semen to y'know impregnate someone and you can get that done without sex

@jedediahwright 6 месяцев назад

@@goranpersson7726 I had the same thought

@TenkoXi Год назад

After the telephone was invented, the inventor already got 12 missed call from Chuck Norris.

@u4ia612 Год назад

chuck norris wakes up his alarm clock

@Soovem Год назад

That’s a good one

@-_J_- Год назад

💀

@alishablair3683 Год назад

This deserves alot more likes

@suc_madic42069 Год назад

Nice one

@P3rm4frost Год назад

😂 Didn't hear that one, awesome

@squarity6057 Год назад

chuck norris pauses his online game to eat dinner with his family

@norielsylvire4097 Год назад

Good one

@PeytonOver Год назад

Most people are breezing past this absolutely golden joke

@thunderee6780 Год назад

😭

@babaibatta1736 Год назад

Legend

@babaibatta1736 Год назад

Respect

@jackripper4905 Год назад

Chuck Norris uses stunt doubles in crying scenes.

@voided5794 Год назад

When Chuck Norris was late for school, the teacher apologized for coming in early.

@91mrpogi Год назад

When Joseph Stalin saw that Chuck Norris is not clapping after his speech, Joseph Stalin apologized to Chuck Norris for delivering a boring speech

@cyandeoidre2375 10 дней назад

That's a good one

@kesavae9552 Год назад

When Chuck Norris turned 18 his parents moved out🗿

@NatanTrombetta Год назад

this is a great one

@Batman-kx6oy Год назад

@@NatanTrombetta not the original but yeah

@cadeistrash Год назад

My grandpa told me this “Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, when he came back they were just the islands”

@Novadeus07 Год назад

🤣💀

@alishablair3683 Год назад

💀

@Big_Mouth_Talks Год назад

💀💀💀💀

@theye29 Год назад

Plot twist: there were only men in the island

@cadeistrash Год назад

@@theye29 😂

@kasendaniel3896 Год назад

Chuck Norris once verbally insulted a deaf guy. That guy now goes to therapy thrice a week

@Goku-__- Год назад

Chuck Norris ordered a pizza… so the delivery guy paid him for waiting

@kolbymusgrave361 Год назад

Chuck Norris has a bear rug, the bear isn’t dead it’s just afraid to move

@hondmilodoggo Год назад

They once named a road after Chuck Norris but they quickly changed the name because nobody dared to cross Chuck Norris.

@thenexus8384 Год назад

Because if they did they would die

@nemo-x Год назад

This one is actually LITERALLY true, except it was a bridge! You can look it up!

@ultrajam6332 Год назад

Bro, I’ve seen this one

@ABT.7 Год назад

When chuck norris got a phone, apple accepted the terms and conditions.

@Icy_Pumpkin Год назад

I like this one good one

@ABT.7 Год назад

@@Icy_Pumpkin thanks

@eekekdrrlrl 6 месяцев назад

Yea me too.

@AmitojSingh_2402 Год назад

Chuck Norris congratulated his parents and thanked the doctor when he was born. Later, he drove them back home.

@harrisjayarajfans3129 Год назад

💀💀💀💀💀

@krisxpytot Год назад

lmao 🤣 good one !!

@blackgoku1973 Год назад

Chuck Norris once missed 2 days of school, those days will forever be known as Saturday and sunday

@zorothelost8426 Год назад

That's a good one

@chrisey7210 Год назад

No that's Zlatan*

@sketanor Год назад

I've seen this one many and many times Even someone using it as oden from one piece

@darylwilson9124 Год назад

@@chrisey7210 Saturday and Sunday existed for four decades before that kickball player was born. Thank you, CHUCK NORRIS.

@astrofour4414 8 месяцев назад

And that's how The Weeknd was born

@Beatbassbusta Год назад

chuck norris delivered the doctor while his mother was in labor

@rickgolder6818 Год назад

bro XD

@active8335 Год назад

Bruuuuh🤣🤣

@toomuchbillcipher Год назад

Chuck Norris doesn’t buy a house, the house pays Chuck Norris to live in it

@Steven_McCrae Год назад

Chuck Norris doesn’t trim his beard He just dares it to grow

@ethanjett5675 6 месяцев назад

This is awesome 👏

@laekano6112 Год назад

When Chuck Norris got his Gmail, Google accepted his Terms & Conditions.

@phoenixmtg1364 Год назад

Brooo!😂

@ZanicaKnight Год назад

Ooohhohohoooo that’s AWESOME!!

@Isekaizen6466 Год назад

What the heck this is good😂😂😂😂🤣🤣💀

@breakfastserial624 Год назад

That’s a good one

@quickhit5619 Год назад

444ths like

@Rohan-dr8bc Год назад

When Chuck Norris does a handstand, he is carrying the Earth.

@RISEN401 Год назад

802 likes no comment I’ll fix that 😃

@victore8342 Год назад

This is solid gold

@badguy1373 Год назад

Universe is not expanding, It's trying to avoid chuck norris.

@noodleboi540 Год назад

When the astronaughts went to the moon,they saw Chuck Norris’ footprints there

@loid0068 Год назад

The virginity lost Chuck Norris

@someonewhoexists1 Год назад

golden

@zichithefox4781 Год назад

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known as giraffes.

@TheCito Год назад

That one had me laughing real hard, one of the best I’ve seen so far 😂

@iwmcentral8135 Год назад

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he's holding the air hostage

@agbrawlstar3866 Год назад

Chuck Norris tells his crush that she likes him.

@kakomol9339 Год назад

😂😂😂

@imtdp6031 11 месяцев назад

Nice one

@Mooclay 8 месяцев назад

Underrated comment

@five2195 6 месяцев назад

fk genius

@gabrielvazquez1691 6 месяцев назад

Gold

@hydroanime7 Год назад

"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle" this had me dying 💀

@Kowsky_ Год назад

I was searching for this comment😂😂

@MoedorDeCarne Год назад

Dude I LOST it at this one

@40hzLMAO Год назад

when alex graham bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from chuck norris

@HaHa-ge7cf Год назад

😂

@Jester343 Год назад

Copied.

@jasonhalverson1180 Год назад

@@Jester343 you’re acting like this reply is original

@Jester343 Год назад

@@jasonhalverson1180 I'm acting with one word on a RU-vid comment. I should really get a job at Hollywood if I have that skill.

@jasonhalverson1180 Год назад

@@Jester343 stop copying people’s comments

@StannyBoysGuitar Год назад

Chuck Norris taught his English teacher how to read

@kartikkhandal7060 Год назад

Chuck Norris went to driving school to teach driving to the instructor.

@Haterskeepsuckin Год назад

Chuck Norris can speak Braille in Spanish. Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

@andreasarnoalthofsobottka2928 Год назад

while doing so he discovered - That Pi is periodic. - The last digit of e. - A numerical value for i. - And the highest prime number.

@snappdragun7105 Год назад

Whats the secret

@IPlayDB Год назад

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

@maybeinactive Год назад

@@snappdragun7105some old fat man in Florida

@jeffreysherman8224 Год назад

@@snappdragun7105 "I know Victoria's secret. Girl, you wouldn't believe! She's an old man who lives in Ohio, making money off of girls like me."

@sufiashireen7061 Год назад

When Chuck Norris is late for school, the Teacher punishes the rest of the class for being early.

@rassusa5611 Год назад

Lmfao 😂🤣

@natethenotsogreat8349 Год назад

Chuck Norris once taught a book how to read

@brendabuencamino3995 Год назад

Nah when chuck norris was late for school he punished the teacher

@tntfreddan3138 Год назад

You have 666 likes. I'm not going to ruin it for you, you handSome devil

@brendabuencamino3995 Год назад

@@tntfreddan3138 lucifer morningstar

@iainmair485 Год назад

Baby’s cry when they are born because they know they’re entering a world that contains Chuck.

@taskforceblake3899 Год назад

When death dies, it sees Chuck Norris

@Brokoh. Год назад

When Chuck Norris goes into the water he doesnt get wet; The water gets Chuck Norris

@neologicalgamer3437 Год назад

🤣

@bigyeeternator1069 Год назад

This has to be the best one I've seen

@tristianhansen1161 Год назад

Me: Oh no I got chuck norris Grows a perfectly trimmed beard with a six pack* Me: never mind i am totally cool with this

@Brokoh. Год назад

@@tristianhansen1161 ?

@bearleemadeit4718 Год назад

Also my favourite. Great post!

@trendonandersen2701 Год назад

I want to see a video of Chuck Norris reacting to all of these very badly

@Okipullup6103 Год назад

He has reacted to a few. Look it up.

@trendonandersen2701 Год назад

Wait really

@Okipullup6103 Год назад

@@trendonandersen2701 yessir!

@trendonandersen2701 Год назад

@@Okipullup6103 thank you for this knowledge

@Okipullup6103 Год назад

@@trendonandersen2701 anytime

@jbt159 Год назад

Chuck Norris was a single kid raising 2 parents

@waterbirdstudios4405 Год назад

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego man, and the Lego man bled out for 5 hours

@Th3Ma3stro Год назад

When chuck Norris jumps, the earth falls to him.

@Xnightwolfx Год назад

That's a lie. Chuck Norris doesn't jump. If he did, he would knock the Earth out of place.

@alishablair3683 Год назад

@@Xnightwolfx (insert how ever much people there are alive in 💀 emoji)

@KanyeEastLondon Год назад

When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mum back from the hospital

@skylynx3227 Год назад

When Chuck Norris was born he helped his mom pull him out

@3main Год назад

Before 911 was a number, people called Chuck Norris for emergencies

@unknownedleaf Год назад

when chuck norris wakes up, he doesn’t make his bed. instead, his bed makes him breakfast

@Midnight_Reaper Год назад

Chuck Norris once kicked a ball when he was bored, and since then the earth has never stopped spinning.

@NoobertCZ Год назад

When ghosts go to sleep, they check if theres Chuck Norris under the bed.

@3main Год назад

Whenever Chuck Norris looks at the moon, it glows

@goofyahquandaledauaisdingl8744 Год назад

When chuck Norris moved out the house his dad became the man of the house

@Pabloess07 Год назад

Chuck Norris heard that nothing could kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it

@zanderscott9158 Год назад

That's pretty good😂

@L14MKK5 7 месяцев назад

Incorrect, it was his reflection that was scared

@getthedunkon9347 7 месяцев назад

@@L14MKK5You missed, your comment is two floors up.

@L14MKK5 7 месяцев назад

@@getthedunkon9347 wdym

@L14MKK5 7 месяцев назад

@@getthedunkon9347 comment placement changes, I didn’t see the one you’re talking about when I first replied

@TheHondo Год назад

They once wanted to put Chuck Norris face on Mt. Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

@iwmcentral8135 Год назад

Chuck Norris was only scared once in his life: When he saw himself in the mirror in the first time.

@The360MlgNoscoper Год назад

The mirror broke in fear

@prabhatisahu6060 Год назад

How can he see himself in the mirror? There's only one chuck norris

@ItachiUchihaofficial Год назад

@@prabhatisahu6060 ... reflextion (Im not sure if its ajoke or not, And im not trying to be rude either btw!)

@Jasonvoorhesss 5 месяцев назад

I think it's a joke he runs the simulation

@toasttoast7487 4 месяца назад

His reflection ran in fear

@Huhh......... Год назад

Chuck Norris was bitten by a snake, and after three days of excruciating pain, the snake died

@jessesultan6550 Год назад

when the telephone was invented there was already 3 missed calls from chuck norris

@RexGaming107 Год назад

Stole someone else's comment

@harrisjayarajfans3129 Год назад

@@RexGaming107 shut up, comments don't have copyrights

@RexGaming107 Год назад

@@harrisjayarajfans3129 Never said they did, it's still wrong to copy other people's comments for attention.

@harrisjayarajfans3129 Год назад

@@RexGaming107 poda punda baadu thailee othaa kandaaraoli mavane

@harrisjayarajfans3129 Год назад

@@RexGaming107 poda poolu sappi

@charginginprogresss Год назад

When Chuck Norris was a toddler he never wet his bed. His bed was so scared shitless that it regularly wetted itself

@morganrussman Год назад

What the heck.😆

@iwmcentral8135 Год назад

Chuck Norris is the only person that can actually kill time.

@kellanflanigan8509 Год назад

Chuck Norris asks the terms and conditions if they agree.

@brianherndon5820 Год назад

Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie, he played The Force

@FunniGuy- Год назад

This should have more likes

@marcofficeriii6501 Год назад

Snaaaaapppped

@LiterallyScoutFromTF2 Год назад

Chuck norris stubbed his toe, the dresser said ouch.

@GoldenWildcard48 Год назад

There's a rumor that when Chuck Norris is exposed to heat, the heat gets burnt

@kinky_donutz6186 Год назад

Chuck Norris once went back in time to save JFK. When he jumped to block the bullet with his beard, JFK was so mind blown his head exploded out of amazement.

@Dimitri88888888 8 месяцев назад

So he actually killed JFK

@LeviBedard-co1qs 6 месяцев назад

Yeah.....

@neologicalgamer3437 Год назад

These will literally never get old

@victore8342 Год назад

Neither will Chuck Norris

@MrKami123456 Год назад

@@victore8342 😂😂😂

@vadersreign Год назад

neither will chuck norris

@eye_bowler3778 Год назад

when chuck norris looks at the sun, the sun is the one that blinks

@jaycub167 Год назад

Chuck Norris won his virginity

@suspiciousdoggo5488 Год назад

😂

@MrMannCo Год назад

When Chuck Norris moved out of his childhood home he turned to his dad and said “you’re the man of the house now”

@Inferno65 Год назад

Chuck Norris is the one who gave his dad the talk.

@cryptic_insanity Год назад

Nice

@DeepSouthBayouDiesel Год назад

🤣🤣🤣👍

@AshtonBrow Год назад

@@Inferno65 HaHaHa😂😂😂😂😂

@dizzlegrizzle1919 Год назад

bruh. do not rip off other comment sections

@remini255 Год назад

Chuck Norris once made a ship walk the plank

@91mrpogi Год назад

Chuck Norris' ship was hijacked by several pirates. As punishment, Chuck Norris forced the pirates to walk the plank

@Tallahassee21 Год назад

God rested on the 7th day when Chuck Norris gave him a break.

@Brokoh. Год назад

Chuck Norris is so fast, he could run around earth and kick himself in the butt, but he would see that coming

@harrisjayarajfans3129 Год назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@movia5418 Год назад

Black holes eat a few stars a year, chuck Norris eats a few black holes for breakfast.

@joanneandnoanneschannel3383 11 месяцев назад

Chuck norris got a ticket, the officers paid him

@sw4nn166 Год назад

When Chuck Norris reads a book ,the book gains knowledge

@icecreamy4424 Год назад

💀

@annettekingsbury-marshall9033 Год назад

Chuck Norris learnt to read from a book

@aurorathomson2051 Год назад

@@annettekingsbury-marshall9033 the book learned to read from chuck Norris

@Inferno65 Год назад

Chuck Norris never cuts his grass, he just glares at it.

@Perrytheplatapus935 Год назад

Chuck norris impregnates himself and gives birth to gigachad

@CrimsonReaper. Год назад

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted

@Doorknob867 Год назад

69 likes ha

@atewards6301 Год назад

Copied

@trentcallahan8461 Год назад

@@atewards6301Copied

@R4fa9S Год назад

@@trentcallahan8461 Copied

@trentcallahan8461 Год назад

@@R4fa9S Copied Copied

@therealjman11yeet64 Год назад

The military doesnt recruit Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris recruits the military.

@iglisanton5319 Год назад

When Chuck Norris washes his hands the water thanks him for cleaning it

@jaytheredpanda183 Год назад

Chuck Norris got bit by a copper mouth, after 4 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

@Batmanrobocop Год назад

Chuck Norris can get the McDonald's ice cream machine to work

@zanderscott9158 Год назад

🤣🤣🤣

@fusionboom Год назад

They once wanted to name a street Chuck Norris but they canceled it, cause no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

@lildarkfoxy5758 Год назад

Chuck Norris was sent to the principals office in kindergarten once... Luckily the principal got off with a warning

@mikenzojordan1128 Год назад

Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris

@jimedwards667 Год назад

When Chuck Norris makes love to a woman and calls her by the wrong name, she legally changes her name the next day

@patricklawler173 Год назад

Chuck Norris is never late or early, the fabric of space and time alters to accommodate his schedule.

@slizzy1433 Год назад

Once a man punched Chuck Norrs in the face and after a week of him being hospitalized the man lost his arm.

@unknownidentity4586 Год назад

Chuck Norris knew Victoria's secret before Victoria knew it herself

@TeraChad23 Год назад

Chuck norris is the dude behind Victoria secret

@olsendesravines5657 Год назад

That had me dying😂

@megaldon_sean Год назад

Technically himself a dude created Victoria's secret so

@TeraChad23 Год назад

@@megaldon_sean hey bro

@obtainable30 Год назад

Nah Chuck Norris is Victoria's secret

@Great_Exodus Год назад

Chuck Norris doesn't live on earth, he lets earth live on him

@tintenkiller3840 Год назад

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he's chewing bees

@Brokoh. Год назад

Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares so long at them till they tell him what he wants to know

@reybar365_ Год назад

The books read him

@thenexus8384 Год назад

@@reybar365_ he ain't Soviet Russia

@thenexus8384 Год назад

Chuck Norris: *stares at a book for 1 adi-second* Book: "heres the information you wanted sir"

@Boopadoop Год назад

When asked how many push ups he does in a day; chuck norris replied “all of them”

@3main Год назад

Chuck Norris hopped onto a sedan, when he got off it became a semi.

@TeraChad23 Год назад

Chuck Norris inspired God to invent reality

@r_g_jaster Год назад

Powerful people can play god, but powerful gods can play Chuck Nortis

@meyesepiclychill9879 Год назад

Chuck Norris just is Chuck Norris

@neologicalgamer3437 Год назад

Chuck Nortis 💀

@YourPBandJ Год назад

I thought he was going to say “chuck norriss can sneeze with his eyes” 😅😂🤣😂

@KillerMoth_Stumpy Год назад

Lol nooo

@vladimirirkhin Год назад

I mean...

@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 Год назад

My favourite one has always been "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried."

@julienneangelocarpo2229 Год назад

XD😂😅😊 it's funny then as it was now

@Inferno65 Год назад

A horse once refused to let Chuck Norris ride on its back. In anger, Chuck Norris kicked it in the chin. Today, we refer to that horse's descendants as "giraffes".