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CIA Spy: "Psychopaths & Manipulators TARGET This Type Of Woman!" (Spot A Con Man)| Andrew Bustamante 

Lisa Bilyeu
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100x your confidence NOW: Radical Confidence, here: radicalconfidence.com/
Thank you to today’s sponsor:
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If you’re anything like me and are obsessed with true crime and serial killer documentaries then guys, THIS episode is for you!!!
Today’s episode of Women of Impact is ABSOLUTELY PACKED with information and tactics so you can spot manipulators and their sleazy grooming process BEFORE they can sink their teeth into you!!
Too many women feel helpless and powerless in situations where they realize they fell for the wolf in sheep's clothing. The reality is, 1 in 10 people are either a psychopath, sociopath, or a narcissist. And while there are differences between the 3 types of abusers, one thing they all have in common is that they will manipulate and con you for their benefit.
This episode, with former CIA spy Andrew Bustamante, is here to educate and equip you to take control and protect yourself from people who don’t have your best intentions at heart.
Andrew is the absolute expert in spotting these con-artists and has spent years of his life and career studying them! So he is super experienced, knowledgeable, and practical when it comes to spotting & shutting down manipulators.
We cover SOOO much in this episode, including:
- The 3 warning signs someone is the “1 out of 10” and is actively trying to manipulate and control you
- The natural vulnerabilities most women have to being conned, and how to put up guardrails to protect yourself so you can avoid becoming a victim
- How real world con artists like the Tinder Swindler, Dirty John, Ted Bundy, and Elizabeth Holmes target and hunt for their victims
- International espionage tactics that the CIA and cons use to influence and manipulate people and how you can spot the signs and get out before it’s too late
- Little things you can do to break your people-pleasing behaviors and shut down a manipulator
- How you can test the empathy of someone new if you are suspicious of their intentions
- The system an abuser will use to SLOWLY manipulate you
- Why it’s SO important to be cautious about who you trust and not let new people in too quickly
- How master manipulators use seduction, intimacy and sex to control you
- Understanding the foundation and context behind seemingly suspicious behaviors in a person
- How you can slow things down, protect yourself, and make decisions in your best interest
- And SOOO much more!!
Seriously guys, the odds of you coming across a con artist is virtually guaranteed, and whether it’s protecting yourself from a toxic romantic relationship, or protecting your grandma from a “helpful” neighbor that seems a little TOO friendly, learning these tactics can help you STOP the con before it starts and even potentially save your life.
Learn your spy superpower: everydayspy.com/spyquiz
Chapter Markers:
🤷‍♀️ [00:00] Successful women are vulnerable
🎯 [12:10] How con artists hunt you down
🧪 [32:54] Testing for empathy
🕵️ [1:09:58] CIA interrogation techniques that cons are using against you
📝 [1:37:31] Breaking down real world con artists’ methods
❌ [2:05:07] Warning signs of manipulation
Follow Andrew Bustamante:
Website: everydayspy.com
Instagram: / everydayspy
Podcast: / @everydayspypodcast
Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
X: / lisabilyeu
If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: dexa.ai/lisabilyeu
Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement

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4 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 1,3 тыс.   
@LisaBilyeu
@LisaBilyeu 27 дней назад
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
I was this years ago and the professor said unique and now took test again and more like a guy! 🤦‍♀️😂. Am I logical now and can detect con people now???🙏🙏
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Ok no s. And don’t want to do that at all!!!! I want more and not scare anyone away!
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
I want long term energy. Too many fakes
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
So is he saying because don’t sleep with someone we are withholding intimacy and being manipulative??? What?
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Powerful talk and number one! Thank you to the both of you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Everyday Spy is awesome! 😎
@sudenims5235
@sudenims5235 14 дней назад
Words tell you nothing. Consistent actions tell you everything.
@Shangai-uv9fc
@Shangai-uv9fc 10 дней назад
💯
@threnodycoronach5792
@threnodycoronach5792 8 дней назад
You got that right! I keep telling my narcissistic boyfriend that but I'm pretty much just talking to myself while he continues to act in ways that have proven over and over that there's no way he could sincerely care about me like he SAYS he does. If he did, he would NEVER treat me this way. He took me far from my family and friends, did something to my car so it no longer runs, refused to take me to get my driver's licence renewed and he leaves me here, out in the middle of nowhere, day after day. I'm alone in a strange place in the middle of the woods with no access to money or transportation. I cannot figure a way to get out of here because I can't afford to even get an Uber This is only a small sampling of his 'actions' while he tells me daily with his 'words' how much he loves me. It truly sickens me. I'm not fooled by him at all; I see just what and who he is. BUT -- it took me until after the love bombing to figure that out and by then it was too late as I was already stripped of all my freedoms and methods of escape. I try not to worry and while I'm here alone I spend much of the day trying to figure a way out and I believe and have hope that I will find that way soon. But again to your point - actions trump words every time and if you find you're with someone whose actions belie their words in a negative way, RUN! And do not look back. I'm serious... You don't want to end up like I have or maybe even worse. Sorry for rambling, your comment really struck a nerve in me with how totally accurate it is and how important it is. Thanks for putting it out there. 🙂🙋👌
@k.h.307
@k.h.307 3 дня назад
Yup, his actions screamed psycho
@jasmineestafia
@jasmineestafia 25 дней назад
Women love attention! In my experience with several narcissists in pursuit of me, they are very consistent in the beginning-trying to see you or contact you everyday! Consistency does wonders in capturing a woman’s heart. The love bombing feels good and their goal is to get you in bed so you can have a soul tie with them and be stuck with them. That part never works because I am abstinent until marriage. Sometimes I don’t even have to reveal this. I just blocked another narcissist after two weeks of their crazy nonsensical behavior! I took a liking to the “good” things about him but it’s not worth my sanity dealing with someone that’s broken. Never settle ladies. You deserve a healthy relationship with a healthy man!
@tggchat
@tggchat 20 дней назад
Lol guys don't think about soul ties
@rachelanastasia0001
@rachelanastasia0001 20 дней назад
Well said!
@auntihooha
@auntihooha 19 дней назад
@@tggchat But men do.
@savedbyzero8340
@savedbyzero8340 19 дней назад
They are called Bad Boys and they get away with it because women are attracted to them. And when they get used and dumped they can’t handle the rejection. Welcome to the party ladies.
@jadegreen1554
@jadegreen1554 18 дней назад
This is excellent and true. It’s not normal attention though, it’s excessive bordering on creepy obsessive attention and you feel it. It feels off, and they will always make those tiny cutting remarks that you can easily miss or that they will pass off as jokes (careful though, the covert Narc will not do that, they’ll insult themselves). Good men don’t make jokes about women. You’ll feel it in your gut. A normal level of attention is ok, the borderline excessive attention is where women get caught and have forgotten how to differentiate.
@Heavenlysky89
@Heavenlysky89 27 дней назад
After a relationship with a narcissist and then a sociopath, never again will I fall for a con man. The man I have now is the best.
@igitha..._
@igitha..._ 27 дней назад
I escaped from a DV situation from a sociopath too, you and I know how heavy and horrific dealing with that can be1 May I inquire as to where you met your new man? I need pointers as to where to start to find my mr right! I've been trawling reddit to see where other people met their partners on posts from single people in my city also looking for their mr right too!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 дней назад
In this world verify everything. Meet people in real life and vet carefully. Date like a detective. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. When you meet a shark in the dating pool swim away. Discernment. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
@johannaalexander2009
@johannaalexander2009 26 дней назад
You’re so fortunate. All the best, sincerely.Narcissists/Sociopaths/Con Men / are demonic and they’re everywhere. These are truly end times!
@lamusica1592
@lamusica1592 26 дней назад
@@igitha..._ after the conman I met my beautiful man at a gig. But it took a few years to settle in and commit, as we both had been burnt
@jasmineestafia
@jasmineestafia 25 дней назад
Praise God! 🙌🏽
@jenniferparrott8260
@jenniferparrott8260 25 дней назад
My ex-husband ran off because I told him "no" too many times, asserted my boundaries, and figured he was full of crap. I trusted him until his stories didn't match, so I tracked him and ran a background on him. Then filed for divorce, just when he thought he could crawl back thinking I would be begging for his love. I must be a different kind of woman. I saw my dad be dishonest to his mom, my mom's, and his ex-wives and girlfriends. Once I catch dishonesty, I am going to do a background on patterns. The lesson learned here, is to do the background first before you get serious in a relationship. It's a big time and money saver.
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Truths
@AnnaMaria-qu6ec
@AnnaMaria-qu6ec 25 дней назад
Good for you girl! I am glad for you And it seems you found the way to do the checking but than to allow to trust if the check is positive. I got so distrustful and can't now get the chill side of me back. Tbh. I miss the chilled, maybe naive part of me. But never going back.
@jasminebarratt1809
@jasminebarratt1809 24 дня назад
Yes it's good to be aware of this stuff. For me looking back at toxic relationships, there were warning signs that I ignored, and I understand them more now and myself better.
@lala5061
@lala5061 24 дня назад
Yes yes...u can pay and pull that report IT'S A MUST DO!!!!! Always important especially since we have the ability to do so...but people really don't be thinking about that at all smh I was one of them✋🏽
@jenniferparrott8260
@jenniferparrott8260 23 дня назад
Actually finding out every town they lived in, county and city arrest records and court rulings after adjudication is public knowledge, therefore free. You get more indepth information than the abridged version you get from a data mining company like Intellius that overcharge. Use your brain and do the digging. It tells more of the story. You can check driver's license status once they get a speeding ticket, because some public court records list their DL#'s. If you've ever shared assets, you can run a credit check on them and find out all the naughty financial issues they didn't tell you about. Use your head ladies. Knowledge is the power of making the informed decisions of cutting those manipulative users off. We got better things to do with our time.
@Airwicca72
@Airwicca72 22 дня назад
This is why I teach my sons and daughters to take their time with potential romantic interests. Keep your distance for quite a while. Enjoy their company but reserve yourself while you deliberately observe them in many situation.
@athanaisdc
@athanaisdc 19 дней назад
and this is precisely why the abusive con artist wants to *rush* into things, to blindside someone before they can see what they are... yep! taking time to get to know each other isn't a concept the abuser/con artist will tolerate.
@Airwicca72
@Airwicca72 19 дней назад
​@@athanaisdc Exactly, they take advantage of the initial rush of emotions and endorphins of new attachment.
@pokemonpro8438
@pokemonpro8438 13 дней назад
​​​​​@@athanaisdcunfortunately, my intelligent sadistic, narcissistic psychopathic ex, and I don't claim that lightly, was very patient, but he also lovebombed my whole family and friends at a time we did not have that term or understanding. I had friends from countries who took kissing very seriously and thought that men should ask them to marry in six months as they take relationships and marriage seriously. I delayed marriage, thinking he would appreciate it, not knowing he would resent me for it and second guessing myself. He didn't rush me at all for sex (which would later become an abuse in itself) and was very patient, easy going, loving, very funny, generous, and gentle. I had already been in a bad relationship. His aunt set us up. I had known her two years. He always knew he was going to hurt me and take advantage of me. He wanted a wife and children to look normal so he could lead his double life undetected and distance himself from his unknown past. Once we had children I was trapped because I had to stay to protect them from being alone with him, but I kept comparing to the abusive experience I had previously and thinking it wasn't possible to have met two people this dark. I didn't fully comprehend, I was so naive. Now I recognize I was exposed to this as a child too, in extended family, teachers, and classmates. They develop this early and my parents were teaachers and my beautiful, loving, capable, positive mum wanted peace and was a people-pleaser. I could not be as good as her. I was taught to question my own part. My dad could not see evil. He was a very loving person and teacher. It was good for teaching, but we didn't have terms like narcissism as a scientific term, NPD or realize it in my grandfather and my aunt. However, they were not psychopathic, but charming and decent and my grandpa had great integrity in his public life in the same way that the real, full blown narcissists and psychopaths are decent and charming when they are reeling you in and fooling you and everyone around you, which makes it very hard to admit when they start treating you otherwise covertly, and it is such a scary, unsettling disappointment, but one which must be tackled head on. No one will believe you and it gets very dark very fast once they know you know. Don't tell them what you know. Plan.
@Sheba8.
@Sheba8. 9 дней назад
Never jump in.
@universallove878
@universallove878 25 дней назад
Once you break my trust, you won't get it again. Period.
@Mercurychyld1
@Mercurychyld1 4 дня назад
Exactly, same here!
@kimstrandberg9529
@kimstrandberg9529 25 дней назад
Slow roll all relationships! Narcs don’t have a long attention span and their grandiosity won’t allow themselves to be a pursuer for too long as it’s ego insulting to them. They’ll move on and show you who they are.
@christinet6336
@christinet6336 23 дня назад
👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽 THIS 💯
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Totallly! Valuable information! [Now I realize, in hindsight, why I got love-bombed in 4 DAYS with a proposal & engagement ring (a placeholder & PROP!) -- the rest was HELL!] Heed Andrew's advice -- no matter your gender -- these types of perpetrators really exist!
@retrogirl2443
@retrogirl2443 23 дня назад
I agree because they are lazy and want instant gratification. They give up when they run into boundaries.
@cathycoryell2351
@cathycoryell2351 21 день назад
Not ture. Some narcs find a target, and hang on for 29 years. With biological children, in the middle, you cannot actually get away completely. Big mess. Family court is dysfunction 101 + abuser = victim trapped.
@daisyrelaxedsounds
@daisyrelaxedsounds 19 дней назад
Facts
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Vulnerability is beautiful, but when a guy gets mad because you’re not vulnerable that’s a huge red flag go run. If this person doesn’t understand that maybe you’ve been hurt badly and you need to go slow then they’re not worth your time.
@user-dz1rc4wk2t
@user-dz1rc4wk2t 21 день назад
Love this perspective. If they really love the person you will go at a slow place Pace , working through, prove it.
@athanaisdc
@athanaisdc 19 дней назад
vulnerability is EARNED. trust is earned. when they want to start chipping away to get to that too early in, they are just trying to break in to damage you and take from you. i have always said, its funny how most men will go around agreeing that "men" are all liars and cheaters... but then most men also get pissed off when we don't put a religious-like faith in them instantly. if they aren't willing to slowly get to know you and earn the trust, they are not to be trusted.
@yolandagrabowski6043
@yolandagrabowski6043 18 дней назад
@yolandagrabowski6043
@yolandagrabowski6043 18 дней назад
That owns the world against me for failing him cause he disguised himself as someone who hurt me.
@thebedroomintellectual2460
@thebedroomintellectual2460 4 дня назад
"being hurt badly" especially familialy from early childhood or developmental years is the very source traumas that are root causes of cluster b personality disorder trauma psychological coping mechanisms. Getting mad is factually not a correct response, however, If vulnerability and intimacy is not the direction observably being moved towards in an interpersonal relationship, it is factually a self sabotaging behavioral pattern to the relationship.
@user-pb3sb3un7n
@user-pb3sb3un7n 14 дней назад
I've started telling people to remember that humans are the worst predators I've known, and they should be treated accordingly. I've left a marriage of over 35 to a grandiose narcissist that literally almost killed me, whether by threat, situation or so much stress it almost ended me and I am very leery of people now.
@user-nm6bs9ru6x
@user-nm6bs9ru6x 27 дней назад
I use a relationship worksheet. I write down the pros and cons of the relationship. Are the pros consistent? Then I ask these questions: 1. What are some of the red flags that you noticed from the beginning?. 2. Why did you ignore it.? 3. What do you want to do now? 4. What will it cost you if you stay? 5. How does this person make you feel? 6. How did this relationship end? Keep these worksheets and review them so that you can correct the pattern.
@diarrayaw
@diarrayaw 26 дней назад
This is excellent advice! Thank you for sharing.
@lf3554
@lf3554 26 дней назад
Excellent!
@Jae-by3hf
@Jae-by3hf 26 дней назад
These are great! Thank you!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
Great information. Thank you. I call it relationship autopsy. Evaluate your past relationships to determine if there is a pattern And why the relationships ended. The red flags, misalignments and dealbreakers. . Its about breaking the cycle. We are most aligned with people who are similar to ourselves. In this world verify everything. Discernment . A background check is a necessity. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. Romance chemistry and attraction does not create relationship success. We cannot change anyone. Do not collect red flags and dealbreakers. Date like a detective. Investigate like the FBI. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin The 10 Essentials Of A Secure Partnership-by Dr Stan Tatkin 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Four Agreements by Don Miguel The Genetic Makeup Of Cheating - Maken Murphy podcast The Science Of Cheating--Maken Murphy podcast Never Forgive Infidelity - Sam Vaknin podcast Cheating Triangulation In Sick Relationships ---Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All David Tian PhD podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin podcast Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
@jasmineestafia
@jasmineestafia 25 дней назад
Fantastic! These days yes a worksheet like this is smart and necessary
@831VibezTribe
@831VibezTribe 19 дней назад
Yep....i lost my 14 yr career, home of 14 yrs and relationship with my son effected horribly.... i try to forgive myself everyday...and am praying for a financial miracle to rebuild
@meko3089
@meko3089 12 дней назад
YOU are that miracle.
@happyfeeshie
@happyfeeshie 9 дней назад
Check out @DrSonjaStribling - she's learned how to find her strength after such adversity!
@KevinDunne-et8tb
@KevinDunne-et8tb 8 дней назад
@831VibezTribe How did you lose your career and home after 14 years?
@shapiro9640
@shapiro9640 7 дней назад
Rebuild your life and be thankful that you have learned an incredibly important lesson. You will make it good again.❤
@marisaruggles7044
@marisaruggles7044 7 дней назад
wowwho are u living my life but mine was 15 yrs and my son was 17and even 15yr job same same its scary im broke i havnt been this broke since the 90si dont know how ill b able to pay anybills mortgage just gots to trust God cuz idont want to be homeless with my baby dogs so stay strong really dont think we have a choice remember a mustard seed amount of a knowing ,faith thats all it takes
@James-Johnson313
@James-Johnson313 24 дня назад
Remember, there is no such thing as "ex CIA"...
@cdaz55
@cdaz55 14 дней назад
Seriously, how many of these guys claim that one! It makes it easy to shut down the questions on their secrecy and questionable behavior. So many seem to fall for it though.
@ElizabethWarrenYeahYeah
@ElizabethWarrenYeahYeah 14 дней назад
​@@cdaz55I met a narc who told me stories about him being in the army, then told me to not bother looking for photos of him in uniform as there were none. Red flag.
@Just-A-Girl-77
@Just-A-Girl-77 14 дней назад
A lot of con artist claim to be military from my experience. I'm a military Widow so a lot of the times I can call them out on the things they say that don't make sense because I know how it works. However a lot of people don't know how the military works so they fall for the lies
@alfsmom8025
@alfsmom8025 13 дней назад
I don't get it, is that a saying?
@aaronmoran5753
@aaronmoran5753 13 дней назад
Unless their DEAD they are always sitting in a basket somewhere.
@jadegreen1554
@jadegreen1554 24 дня назад
This is excellent. This is what the public dialogue needs right now-CIA level intelligence about liars and conartists.
@DioneCampbell
@DioneCampbell 22 дня назад
Yeah, because we can’t tell.
@user-dz1rc4wk2t
@user-dz1rc4wk2t 21 день назад
They won't tell us
@DioneCampbell
@DioneCampbell 21 день назад
They know we know, we know they know, we know they know we know.
@savedbyzero8340
@savedbyzero8340 19 дней назад
It’s because he’s was one of them. And still might be. His words are too fluid to not be.
@athanaisdc
@athanaisdc 19 дней назад
this isn't cia intelligence... he leads in talking about myers-briggs which even high school students learn in psych, but he doesn't even have a grasp of the jungian cognitive functions and hes wrong about entps. he was only right about most women scoring isfj on the tests but even that means nothing when the tests are going by dichotomy merely...
@sateIIitepilot
@sateIIitepilot 22 дня назад
I grew up in a family full of narcissists and sociopaths, once I see a trait that is in any way recognizable of this type, I will have nothing to do with them. Thank goodness I've never personally gotten involved with these creatures, myself but I have seen the damage they do. Surround yourself with good people and you will be happy.
@CADYALLISON
@CADYALLISON 14 дней назад
Yes. Amen. 🙏 People do NOT understand what an insane amount of pain and confusion is associated with this kind of manipulation and unnatural stunted bonding that occurs at the earliest stages of life for the children of cluster B personality types. Narcissistic and histrionic and antisocial… it’s like growing up in a nightmare, but you don’t realize it’s abnormal for so many years…. Thank you for the comment and good luck and God bless. My heart goes out to you.
@pokemonpro8438
@pokemonpro8438 13 дней назад
You are smart to have survived and learned from this so well. You sound incredibly healthy, considering. So many of us walk into the familiarity because we are trapped by the feeling of home, combined with the sense of excitement which is really their thrill at luring us, not realizing it is only the surface charm and not what is under the covers waiting to parasitically predate on and destroy us.
@CADYALLISON
@CADYALLISON 13 дней назад
@@pokemonpro8438 Sending you love and healing, my friend. We will be stronger and wiser after walking through the hottest of hells. Only the bravest of souls dare to play this videogame of life, through, hey?
@sateIIitepilot
@sateIIitepilot 10 дней назад
@@pokemonpro8438 Yes, they are very good at pretending to be normal but they can only keep it up for so long. Most people have too much self-pride or integrity to do the things these "people" do to get what they want (to use others). Most people also feel embarrassed about bad behavior, these people do not. I wish you well.
@sateIIitepilot
@sateIIitepilot 10 дней назад
@@CADYALLISON Thank you, I appreciate that, hopefully you no longer have to deal with these "people" and also God bless.
@jed1680
@jed1680 23 дня назад
Every vulnerable person, regradless of his/her age or gender, needs to watch this extremely important, informative content in the name of self-protection.
@pichichipichi
@pichichipichi 20 дней назад
Sex, not gender. To be a woman It’s not a feeling
@chiaraA.
@chiaraA. 19 дней назад
It has taken me an entire lifetime to stop blaming a 'bad picker' and instead understand there are so many manipulators and conmen out there - and to make it my whole business to never give the benefit of the doubt when dealing with the unknown and humans - I'm not talking about being paranoid. I'm talking about understanding many people just do not approach life and have standards such as mine and I must be keenly aware that the vast majority will not be for me. Time and time again I was astonished at how I ended up with a relationship where the person was someone I could not/should not - be with - to my detriment - and that there was very little that was benefiting me - and where all the benefit was coming from me
@corinaspfx
@corinaspfx 14 дней назад
nearly 7 years after a 3 year relationship with a narc and i'm still healing - today, his current girlfriend apologised to me and thanked me for going out of my way to warn her 6 years ago all these years no one believed me, and now it's so ironic that she's the one giving me the validation i needed
@sudenims5235
@sudenims5235 14 дней назад
Validation always comes in the end. still waiting for mine from others 11 years later. don’t need it though. I no longer care. got some validation recently, from my replacement and having a conversation with both of them(i believe in no contact but was in a waiting room that I couldn’t leave). I was friendly, it no longer hurts/i no longer care. From the conversation I realised she had No confidence, clinging onto him, probably living in a fog. I realised she was where I once was. I did not feel sorry for her, she actively took him away, and was not nice in her dealings with me at the time, broken women that I was. I never knew who he was until then. Despite debilitating pain of the first 3 years after breakup , it was probably nothing to what had happened to me while living with him(yet I didn’t know it was the relationship. I thought it was me), I gave them a genuine smile as I left. I wished them well, but silently I was thanking her so much for setting me free. Had she not have come along I doubt I’d have been here now. I doubt she has any idea of the covert stuff she is living with and how it’s probably affecting her health and well-being.
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl 11 дней назад
Ya these guys can look so nice kind and perfect to the outside world that it make you look like you're the troubled one. Only someone else in a relationship with them really knows. You were lucky to get out and good uou told the girlfriend after you. Well done.
@user-yd2mp7wp3k
@user-yd2mp7wp3k 8 дней назад
Wow
@corinaspfx
@corinaspfx 8 дней назад
@@sarahmurphy-nf4yl it's been a whirlwind of emotions - healing is also not for sissies, sigh
@Sarara-mv5sx
@Sarara-mv5sx 27 дней назад
"The thing that is really precious is our sense of independence. And once you merge your sense of independence with someone else it's hard to get it back." YES!!!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 дней назад
In this world verify everything Never doubt patterns. Aka The Track Record. A stranger can say anything. Discernment. .A background check is a necessity. Standards boundaries a bs detector and a backbone 💪. Never tolerate disrespect. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman The Four Agreements by Don Miguel The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin podcast The Genetics Of Cheaters --Maken Murphy podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary. Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All David Tian PhD podcast
@DeeCee1878
@DeeCee1878 26 дней назад
Oh yes! That fusion that felt so intoxicating is likely going to destroy your sense of self faster than you can ever realize.
@Rut-vi7iz
@Rut-vi7iz 26 дней назад
​@sherriflemming3218 our state offers free online court records. I try to find out a man's middle name and age early on and run the free check. It won't tell you if they did something in another state, or obviously if they get away with crime. It's still worth a look. Also, yes there are one in 10 psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists in society. But when you consider they find their targets online, you can consider a much higher percentage in dating sites. Now days, I go with the mindset, prove to me you are NOT a dark triad person, if I meet a man online dating.
@lauren12ful1
@lauren12ful1 24 дня назад
The reason I never married. And still glad I didn't.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
I'm thankful to be single. I didn't marry the wrong man. We are commonly attracted to the familiar. Someone who resembles our childhood caregivers. IMAGO Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future Sam Vaknin podcast The Genetics Of Cheaters --Maken Murphy podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All David Tian PhD podcast
@veronicafloresrobinson8819
@veronicafloresrobinson8819 26 дней назад
I needed to hear this ….. I was missing my ex and I started to remember how horrible he actually was !!!
@JCX-9
@JCX-9 26 дней назад
Same for me just thinking of the way he treated me and made me feel quickly makes me snap out of any delusion.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
Its best to remember the percentage of the bad times to recognize the lesson learned why the relationship ended. .Relationship autopsy of your past relationships to determine if there is a pattern. Breaking the cycle. We are a common denominator in our relationships. The Duluth Power And Control Wheel
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. A stranger can say anything. A background check is a necessity. Fact check. References from people who know him. We commonly are attracted to the familiar. Someone who resembles our childhood caregivers. IMAGO The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary The Science Of Cheating- Maken Murphy podcast Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All - David Tian PhD podcast. Ive Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu podcast
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Missing! I’m wishing mine would move even further than five states away or whatever it is😂😂
@publicserviceannouncement4777
@publicserviceannouncement4777 25 дней назад
It's like the euphoric recall a drug addict gets when they remember all the "good times." Not even thinking about how it nearly destroyed your life.
@irisbrejean8019
@irisbrejean8019 26 дней назад
Everyone is calling me too much and paranoid when I am saying that at end, we never know who really is in front of us. My mother is one of them… Never trust anyone, ever. The gut is the right one.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
In this world verify everything. Discernnent. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A stranger can say anything. A background check is a necessity. Date like a detective. Investigate like the FBI. Adults choose their relationships. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman Toxic Parents by Susan Forward The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Science Of Cheating--Maken Murphy podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All David Tian PhD podcast.
@MielaMaze
@MielaMaze 25 дней назад
@iris. Yes , mine too, and she made me (until i was 50) and everyone else believe that my father was the bad guy..
@HighSpeedNoDrag
@HighSpeedNoDrag 8 дней назад
"Trust No One" Benjamin Franklin, Versailles France, Circa 1783.
@SusanaXpeace2u
@SusanaXpeace2u 27 дней назад
ps, as an enfj i have fallen into the trap of trusting people who did nothing to earn the trust.
@coyrinnie
@coyrinnie 27 дней назад
Same
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 дней назад
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO In this world verify everything Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Discernment. A stranger can say anything. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
@Diarrheagod
@Diarrheagod 27 дней назад
As someone who grew up in a very dysfunctional home and learned to abandon myself at an early age, I too have this problem
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Trust is earned always!
@axel-xm5qm
@axel-xm5qm 24 дня назад
Don't get trapped into these useless letters they mean nothing.
@kimstrandberg9529
@kimstrandberg9529 25 дней назад
Adding that in the Know, Like, Trust phase, we often “Like” bc the manipulator is mirroring you back to yourself. That’s why they feel like such a soulmate. All manipulation.
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
True! & as another expert gives further credence to the KLT (Know/Like/Trust) phase: "You essentially fall in love with yourself!" -- thinking you've found your soulmate, with familiar comfortable relatable "similar interests" -- being mirrored by a hijacking "Hijackal" [Hijack@ss] soul-less manipulative Energy Vampire or Emotional Vampire.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A background check is a necessity. Trust needs to earned. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
@annacroixx
@annacroixx 22 дня назад
Yeah, and that’s narcissism too. It’s just the flip side of it. It’s important to love someone for their unique qualities in who they are, not just seek validation, which can happen when we didn’t get enough of it in childhood, or get enough of it in general.
@sethstinson1341
@sethstinson1341 20 дней назад
Lisa I've watched almost every single podcast from Andrew on youtube. You not only asked him the most unique questions ive heard him be asked, but also asked questions that i feel he genuinely saw as good questions he enjoyed engaging in. Absolutely great work.
@Daverod
@Daverod 12 дней назад
Completely agree she was asking the questions I’ve wanted all the other people to ask him. This is pure gold
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Women and men need to look at themselves and say no matter how much I failed no matter what I’ve done and how far behind I am I am so worthy of being treated with decent respect and love❤!! don’t ever settle
@SierraNovemberKilo
@SierraNovemberKilo 7 дней назад
You don't ever think of learning to walk as overcoming failure. Learning to have healthy relationships is a journey. Lessons get learnt all the time.
@icalotdonthide2646
@icalotdonthide2646 4 дня назад
This❤
@marshareed1438
@marshareed1438 21 день назад
After I married my ex husband I never trusted him. After we got married he told me that sex was me, not him…His boundary was I wasn’t allowed to have sex unless he came to me… That was a red flag to me. Over the yrs he used sex to punish me… So if he would normally want sex once a month & I made him upset he would make me wait another month. I learned not to try to seduce him through him slapping my hand. He was a huge gaslighter as well! He treated me like a child, one that he didn’t like lol. We were married for 30 yrs. He never told me that I was beautiful or smart. No credit for anything that I did. He took all the credit for our home projects . He was stoic & showed no compassion for my suffering , not even when I lost my parents. I had to be very methodical to get him to divorce me bc he was very good at looking perfect to the world. We’ve been divorced for 3 yrs & I’m so at peace being alone. I’m 58 & I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be in another relationship again!
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl 11 дней назад
OMG your husband sounds mentally disturbed. I am so glad you escaped his clutches. Be careful of going from the frying pan into the fire.. a rebound relationship can bring another dangerous type to you. Take another few years to be single until you fully recover from your ex husbands abuse. After awhile you'll seriously enjoying being single and free from hassle and enjoy friends and hobbies. Be safe always. Be happy now and live your best life. God bless 🙌
@marshareed1438
@marshareed1438 11 дней назад
@@sarahmurphy-nf4yl Thank you for your kind supportive words! It has been 3 yrs since our divorce. I just got back into working out & it feels great! I’m taking care of my mental & physical health! I’m not sure if I could ever be with a man again. I’m very content being alone! I’m at peace for the first time in my life! I don’t need the porn addiction or any womanizing that men justify bc they’re men lol. I date occasionally & it’s very disappointing to say the least! My BS detector goes off a lot! 😂 I really just prefer to have guy friends without any sex… no extra benefits here! In my mind I think it would be nice to find love & not be alone but my body says hell no… I’m a Christian so I seek God for truth & he always tells me when a man isn’t right for me. He told me before I got married to Jim but I was only 24 & I didn’t understand that God was warning me, but I’m 58 today and now I listen to God’s warnings! God bless you as well! ❤️
@SierraNovemberKilo
@SierraNovemberKilo 7 дней назад
Er, let me tell you something you are overlooking. You were never "in" a relationship for 30 years. You were someone's prisoner/slave.
@shapiro9640
@shapiro9640 7 дней назад
Your ex husband sounds like he had heavy narcissistic traits with some sadistic tendencies. You are lucky to be rid of him. Rebuild your life and get to know anyone over a long period of time. Spend time discovering what you like to do and make some friends. Good luck! 🤞
@Mo.1988
@Mo.1988 7 дней назад
Yeah I would of ✌🏾 he’s a 🤡
@danayetman253
@danayetman253 24 дня назад
I'm 47 years old female . Why didn't I hear this before!!! Life changing
@meko3089
@meko3089 12 дней назад
Because our society is ran by personality disorders and so many things are.
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl 11 дней назад
Just be glad you didn't experience it.
@Soothsayer937
@Soothsayer937 4 дня назад
Try to find a copy of "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. What it boils down to is that women have been made vulnerable by being conditioned to be nice, to people-please. Women put themselves in dangerous situations because they are afraid to be seen as "rude", as Huberman details. And woe be unto her who does not meet societal expectations. Prepare to be torn to shreds by other women. So pick your poison, because once a group of women decides they don't "like" you because you don't behave the way they think you should and go on social media and assassinate your character, you may prefer the killer. Once you quit doing everything others want you to do, have a mind of your own, and start exerting your free will, I think you will find the number climbs from 1 in 10 to 99 out of 100. Take it from someone who has Asperger's, the price of not folding to the will and demands of others is incredibly steep.
@IntuitiveCoachTheresa
@IntuitiveCoachTheresa 24 дня назад
I have been in relationship with several severe, abusive and cheating narcissists, and both of my parents have narc traits. What I learned is that there is no such thing as an innocent victim of a narcissist (outside of childhood). We want something from them that in a way is our OWN narcissistic desire, that's why it's so easy to fool us. We have to be willing to give up the desire to be desired, wanted, and provided the "fantasy" life, or else we are very easy to manipulate. Take ownership and NEVER compromise for wanting to be "in a relationship", be "valued by some hot guy," or any other idolatrous behavior. Until we give up our OWN self centered desires we can fall for this crap.
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Yep. This very dynamic also happens among Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)/SLDD [Self-Love Deficit Disorder] + Narcissist/Sociopath/Covert Narcissist/"wolf in sheep's clothing".
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A background check is a necessity. We are commonly attracted to someone that resembles our childhood caregivers. IMAGO. Safety first. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Genetics Of Cheaters - Maken Murphy podcast Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All - David Tian PhD podcast. Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin podcast
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Without Conscience by Robert D Hare The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman We commonly choose partners that resemble our childhood caregivers. Attracted to the familar. In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A bqckground check is a necessity. Verify facts. Dont count red flags and dealbreakers.
@annacroixx
@annacroixx 22 дня назад
Everyone wants and needs something. It’s about give and take. Healthy levels of narcissism are necessary, but it’s not called narcissism then, it’s called healthy pride and self-respect.
@user-yj7tb5sd3u
@user-yj7tb5sd3u 19 дней назад
I agree with you to an extent. There is usually childhood trauma behind it. And can the desire be rooted in trauma and neglect etc... and cause many to "settle" so they get that hidden desire/need met. Yes. Can it be our own narcissistic desire, yeah but it depends. It can be a human desire that was never met without it being narcissistic. I say this, because many women and men already fault themselves plenty for "failing" to listen to their gut, failing to pay attention to red flags, and for failing to leave an abuser sooner and the list goes on. Many times it is not their fault. Ultimately as adults yes we are responsible! If it is rooted in childhood trauma and childhood environment, we need to give a large space of compassion and not blame to beautiful souls that usually are the ones that end up as narcissists targets. Again, yes there is a healing junction in someones journey where they need to take responsibility for healing, growing, educating self and avoiding toxic destructive relationships. But in the beginning a target needs validation and self compassion.
@bonniekesic8040
@bonniekesic8040 24 дня назад
I was a Correctional Officer. I had an inmate tell me, " Im in here for Murder", " not for lying". Spoken like a true Dark Tryad.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Indeed. You are correct. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. The Dark Triad is Narcissism Machevalian and Psychopathy. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Without Conscience by Robert D Hare
@JaneThatcher89
@JaneThatcher89 22 дня назад
I’m Confused. What is the significance of this comment? How is that comment manipulative, that the inmate said? Was it the truth?
@sateIIitepilot
@sateIIitepilot 22 дня назад
I'm also confused about the dark triad remark
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Sam Vaknin has excellent podcasts on The Dark Triad. The definition is Narcissism Machevalian and Psychopathy. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. Personality and character is fixed. All criminals have blank records until they're caught. In this world verify everything. A background check is essential. Verify facts. Safe People by Henry Cloud Without Conscience by Robert D Hare The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Snakes In Suits by Robert D Hare
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker ( A PhD in human behavior) Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Snakes In Suits by Robert D Hare Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood In this world verify everything. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. Discernment. A background check is a necessity. Verify facts. A stranger can say anything. Trust needs to be earned. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
@Nanouk2021
@Nanouk2021 24 дня назад
INFJ here and just out of a relationship with a Narcissist. I wish I would have known all of this 2 years ago. The abuse I went through is out of this world, and how he’d know how to get me back every time 🤯 Very valuable insights, Thank you ❤
@richardvaughan8765
@richardvaughan8765 22 дня назад
I'm a infj did u ever start to think u were the narcissit that how I feel in my relationship even thow I know the gaslighting done to me is fact and her not owning up to anything as soon as we get close or I think we are about 2 be she starts a fight then I feel guilty and apolitigize non stop and now I can't get her to say she loves me
@Nanouk2021
@Nanouk2021 22 дня назад
All the time. But now I feel that that’s the point. They steal so much of your personality and bait you to the point where then you act out of character. At least that’s true for me. I wouldn’t recognize myself. But I know for a fact that I don’t act like this with other people and my intentions are pure. I don’t do things to get something in return and certainly do I not get pleasure in seeing someone else’s pain. If that is you, you are NOT the narcissist.
@sayusayme7729
@sayusayme7729 22 дня назад
INFJ too, so glad you’re out. Took me far too long. Doubtful of my own intuition. Free for 5 years but it wasn’t my first experience.
@athanaisdc
@athanaisdc 19 дней назад
some part of you knew, i would guess... but you wanted to have faith in him when he told you not to believe yourself.
@athanaisdc
@athanaisdc 19 дней назад
@@richardvaughan8765 the narcissist always exports their own negative qualities to others. every negative thing they are, they will point their finger and tell others "U ARE!" so yes, when you are in a relationship with a narcissist they will try to make you feel like you are the selfish abusive @hole. every time, not just with an infj victim.
@Chosen302
@Chosen302 14 дней назад
My ex literally said he can “mold and change himself to fit any situation and get what he wants and win” He literally told me that about 2 weeks in. This is when I started my digital diary and documented everything I’m about 3 months after months of love bombing, I noticed he completely pulled away. Causing me to start chasing. This lasted just a few days before I remembered all of the podcast that I listen to. All 3 months I noticed he would ask me for things, want to spend the night a lot because it was closer to his job, and he would want me to buy him things. Educate yourself ladies.
@cherylnathanodette
@cherylnathanodette 13 дней назад
What an obnoxious ass he must have been, bet your so glad you got out of that.
@Daverod
@Daverod 12 дней назад
Stories like this send chills down my spine. Really, really dark people out there. I personally know someone like this that is the most charming,charismatic, and socially “talented” person I know. I’ve always known something was off with him but I was always fascinated by how he was able to control people like a puppet master. I had an inside joke with myself that he didn’t have friends but rather a cult. Anyways, we ended up gracefully separating after I let him know that I knew who he really was.
@Stardustpal25
@Stardustpal25 День назад
Omg just got rid of same guy, yep, good riddance 🦈
@joannajohnson696
@joannajohnson696 25 дней назад
This guy is fantastic. I will rewatch this. Every woman needs to protect themselves.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Indeed Safety first. In this world verify everything. A background check is a necessity. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary The Genetics Of Cheaters by Maken Murphy podcast
@paulb7207
@paulb7207 19 дней назад
About 30% of women have personality disorders while only 18% of men do.
@lovetomarket
@lovetomarket 24 дня назад
So true about social norms. When I was 20 years old, I was walking to my apartment in broad day light and noticed a guy following me. There were so many opportunities for me tell someone, or just go into a restaurant, but I didn't want to look like I thought "I was pretty enough." or not be believed. I walked home with the intent, that I would walk right into my unit and shut the door. He got into my unit before me. Be careful out there. I didn't end up getting hurt that day, luckily. But it was close ... but the social norms women are taught just benefit preditors more and they know it. Good example mentioned here of Ted Bundy. And to add, I didn't even call the police afterwards. It didn't even cross my mind.
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Agree. That incident, could have been the start of a "pattern", or even among multiple other "dots" (happening in isolation, not realizing you're "Not Alone") yet to be connected, perpetrated by a cunning serial repeat offender whose actions may eventually escalate...a potential "Me, Too" movement, yet to be uncovered & exposed for what it really was or is.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker pdf and podcasts ( A PhD in human behavior) Safe People by Henry Cloud book and podcasts Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft book and podcasts Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD In this world verify everything. Discernnent. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A background check is a necessity. Verify facts. Standards boundaries a bs detector and a backbone 💪 Always be aware of your surroundings. Situational awareness and intuition. When you meet a shark swim away. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Science Of Cheating--Maken Murphy podcast The Genetics Of Cheating Maken Murphy podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl
@sarahmurphy-nf4yl 11 дней назад
Be careful if you love in the same unit.. they can come back even years later. That's a pattern with burglars to try same houses again after a few years or to tell other criminals about it.
@e.zwegat7130
@e.zwegat7130 5 дней назад
If someone is following you, be paranoid because they don’t care if you’re pretty or not! They care if you’re alone
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 5 дней назад
@@e.zwegat7130 Wise words. [Same scenario also occurs when perpetrators try to somehow "get you alone" for an impromptu "meeting"/"discussion" or other matter -- particularly, at a time when the perpetrator realizes they're losing "control"/"possession"/"enmeshment" over you, whether you are attempting to "break away", "break-up", "break-free", "leave", "divorce", &/or "escape" from that perpetrator: the most perilous, hazardous time...even per statistics.]
@user-rh4vp7fd8n
@user-rh4vp7fd8n 27 дней назад
This happens in friendships as well- not only romantic or familial relationships. Sadly, so many malignant narcissists claim their former failed friendships and relationships were with narcissists when they themselves are the abusive narcissists. This information is helpful. Beware of what people tell you because they will show you who they are soon enough.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 дней назад
In this world verify everything Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Discernment. A stranger can say anything. The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
@Diarrheagod
@Diarrheagod 27 дней назад
Be careful with people who subtly blame all their ex partners for why it didn’t work out.
@DeeCee1878
@DeeCee1878 26 дней назад
This is why it is so important not to jump into relationships with someone you really don’t know. Meet their friends and family. Check out the stories they tell about their ex’s. Find out how this person ended the relationship- not just what he tells you. Run like hell when you hear “ I love you” in the first month!
@lf3554
@lf3554 26 дней назад
​@sherriflemming3218 Very Good I have read a good number of books on here. I will also add Seduced by a Sociopath by Donna Anderson, Becoming Toxic Person Proof by Sarah K thompson, Charm to Harm by Amy Lewis Bear, How to Spot a Dangerous Man by Sandra L Brown Knowledge is power!
@Jae-by3hf
@Jae-by3hf 26 дней назад
Thank you for the reading material! Agree with everyones comments! I vet everyone, man or woman, romantic or not! It does take me time, but it can be done!
@RummanaMoledina
@RummanaMoledina 25 дней назад
Sometimes when nothing is very obvious, keep a dream journal noting how you react to that dream. Very often the subconscious senses things which the conscious might miss
@I_am_Shori_Xx
@I_am_Shori_Xx 20 дней назад
What's trippy for me is I was friends with a person whom I ALMOST started a relationship with, when I first met him, I didn't have a good feeling about him, but unfortunately, I shrugged it off. Then one time, I had a dream that I was bitten by a green snake, I looked up the (biblical) meaning (I believe in Christ, so ofc some meanings can vary in dreams) & I learned that a green snake represented betrayal including betrayal of trust; I was oblivious to the red flags, the manipulation & the exploiting, & the lying that was going on in the "friendship"... after I cut ties with him, I looked back & I just thought about that dream & everything just connected together like a puzzle. I just thank God for getting me out of that relationship, forgave him (no, I did NOT come back to him), & moved on with my life (difficult journey, but worth it). So yea, at least for me, that just confirms your point on how the subconscious senses things the the conscious can't.
@gardener3017
@gardener3017 23 дня назад
I was raised by a pathological malignant narcissist con man. I loved my dad so much. He was charming & funny & interesting & people flocked to him like moths to a flame. He was a human wrecking ball. He was my dad. He brought the sunshine. And then he took it away. I watched my dad con & screw over every single person in his orbit, even his elderly widowed mother. Even his own kids. He really couldn't help himself. If he saw a mark, he was gonna take advantage of that mark, somehow, some way. It was if he was driven to it. Everyone that liked my dad was a mark, & everyone liked my dad. Right up until he screwed them over. It was just who he was. He exploited weaknesses like a crocodile hunts gazelle in a river. P.S. He was a salesman. Real Estate. Very successful. He was also married six times. He was married to another woman when he married my mom.
@wildcaptivation
@wildcaptivation 10 дней назад
My partner was also a salesman all his life cheated lied everything under the sun. He also became a real estate agent. Salesman jobs are perfect for manipulative people.
@gabriellejudd1
@gabriellejudd1 6 дней назад
Ugh!!
@2twentysix
@2twentysix 25 дней назад
I’m an INTJ female so I repel con men. Ask any salesman I’ve dealt with 😂…and I mentioned the word ‘salesman’ about 10 minutes before the guest did 😅
@lipstickandbooks.
@lipstickandbooks. 22 дня назад
Same here!
@laraoneal7284
@laraoneal7284 23 дня назад
INFJ here. Supposedly the rarest of all personalities. ISFJ never heard of. I prefer being alone but I am energized by good people.
@khalil010
@khalil010 21 день назад
same
@I_am_Shori_Xx
@I_am_Shori_Xx 20 дней назад
Me three! 😃
@missmodern
@missmodern 15 дней назад
Me four! 🙋
@gabriellejudd1
@gabriellejudd1 6 дней назад
Same here
@katwellkaye996
@katwellkaye996 22 дня назад
2:06:38 Your discussion of autism here is SOOOOO true! I have a high functioning autistic son and worry about his social interactions all the time, particularly law enforcement or others on that parallel spectrum that might see him as prey. Frustration is a huge part of his life because of that struggle to communicate and be understood. I pray for him a LOT!
@meko3089
@meko3089 12 дней назад
The church stole my nephew with autism. watch who you let around you and in your social groups or if anyone takes a liking to him as a person.
@sayusayme7729
@sayusayme7729 22 дня назад
As an INFJ woman of past 60, I’ve experienced a few different types. So grateful that this is finally out there. It’s scary that the ones that are supposed to protect and keep safe are usually the ones who refuse to be policed, so become people in power to feed off the vulnerable. Truly need to learn what is being taught here. Thank you so much. The unhealthy benefit of the doubt mindset has to go, especially for anyone vulnerable. Definitely standing up and challenging the “ norm “ western society needs massive change.
@roseeze166
@roseeze166 26 дней назад
Nope, i trust my intuition and its the greatest protection
@gabriellejudd1
@gabriellejudd1 6 дней назад
I would bet you've experienced a couple of times where you reneged on your Intuition & learned to your disappointment to really trust your Intuition. Most Intuitives do.
@sda141
@sda141 21 день назад
Please interview Andrew Bustamante and his wife together!
@GnosticCushite
@GnosticCushite 16 дней назад
You look like you got trouble written all over you
@emipopescu3257
@emipopescu3257 27 дней назад
This is gold, his advice is gold! So true, about societal norms too... Women are not taught how to fight with male aggressors; when attacked, most of them just curl up and wait, either for him to stop, for some help to come or to die. This book might help, i think: Fight Like a Girl...and Win: Defense Decisions for Women by Lori Hartman Gervasi
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 дней назад
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathan Aslay In this world verify everything. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Discernnent. A stranger can say anything. Date like a detective. Investigate like the FBI. A background check is a necessity. Verify facts. Romance chemistry and attraction does not create relationship success. Trust and respect are the foundation of healthy relationships. Self defence and tactical training is empowering. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma-Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary The Science Of Cheating--Maken Murphy podcast I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu podcast
@mildacha8050
@mildacha8050 26 дней назад
Thanks
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
I fight back now. I did then too, but it’s not good.
@lexiemiller7783
@lexiemiller7783 22 дня назад
They have no chance when fighting off a male unless they are armed
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Self defence and tactical training will teach you skills. One program in America is IMPACT. Martial arts, kickboxing classes are other classes that teach skills. There are also personal alarms available for purchase. Learning how to recognize predators ( discernment) and how to deal with them. Always be aware of your surroundings. Situational awareness and intuition. You are responsible for your personal and public safety. This is empowerment. This applies to intuition: If it feels wrong it is wrong If it requires too much conspicuous effort it is fake If it is too good to be true its not true In today's world verify everything The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker ( A PhD in human behavior) pdf and podcasts. Safe People by Henry Cloud Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Snakes In Suits by Robert D Hare Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L Brown
@lgpop3347
@lgpop3347 25 дней назад
I love what this man says and how he speaks, he is so articulate. Thanks Lisa for inviting him. I also think MBTI is a fantastic tool.
@fifilafleur5555
@fifilafleur5555 15 дней назад
My dad is married to a woman like “Dirty John.” She has destroyed his relationship with me. Keeps him isolated. He got a large inheritance.
@LisaTaylor-Austin
@LisaTaylor-Austin 3 дня назад
😢❤
@user-dq7pc1vg4f
@user-dq7pc1vg4f 21 день назад
I'm considered a targeted individual. I've lived in my neighborhood for twenty years and in my community for over thirty years without any legal issues or problems. Suddenly, out of nowhere, long time neighbors came after me, began harassing me and vandalizing my home. When I couldn't get help from law enforcement, I knew they were involved. I'm a very strong, confidant, out going, intelligent, empathetic, kind woman who lives alone. Apparently, being a single attractive woman living alone makes one an easy target in our world today.
@user-qj9ig8vz5w
@user-qj9ig8vz5w 20 дней назад
Very true!
@MartineReed
@MartineReed 19 дней назад
I am in the exact same situation. I think it’s politically motivated.
@MartineReed
@MartineReed 19 дней назад
I just subscribed to your channel in hopes that we can connect. I am in Phoenix experiencing the same issues.
@firstnamelastname9485
@firstnamelastname9485 16 дней назад
What is so special about you that these people would spend thier time doing whatever it Is you think they're doing
@firstnamelastname9485
@firstnamelastname9485 16 дней назад
​@MartineReed do you have some political power? If not it makes zero sense.
@mercurialgirl
@mercurialgirl 13 дней назад
One of the weirdest experiences I had as a young adult was an after work drinks date with a coworker I was super into, who suddenly looked at me and asked me “What’s your deepest secret?” I was so stunned, I didn’t have an answer, and he kind of got mad.
@estherbosbach377
@estherbosbach377 24 дня назад
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING AUTISM! This means a lot to me
@TrinityMorningstar
@TrinityMorningstar 23 дня назад
I always get mistaken for a narcissist 😢
@WaterFor3st
@WaterFor3st 23 дня назад
Wow. Until he said this I didn't understand why my mother always thought I would kill her one day (she watch too much crime shows; still don't know why she thought/think this) and why people think I hate them.
@sayusayme7729
@sayusayme7729 22 дня назад
Yes, thank you
@user-dz1rc4wk2t
@user-dz1rc4wk2t 21 день назад
This is used and old overused label. Yes there are some autistic people, not enough that this is a relevant comment
@susankeith326
@susankeith326 15 дней назад
​@user-dz1Irc4wk2t You're mistaken.
@SusannaParviainen-lf4wo
@SusannaParviainen-lf4wo 22 дня назад
No I don’t agree that once someone gets into your secret life, you can never kick them out. You can kick them out. When you divorce a person, whether a friend, a family member, or a lover, sometimes in order to do this fully, they must be kicked out of your secret life. Sure they were privy to your innermost workings as an individual at some point, but not anymore.
@s22centuaryfox
@s22centuaryfox 26 дней назад
I have been going throught PTSD due to a covert narcassist and the manipulations and fear. I had so many fears and questions and keep wondering certain things and feeling unsafe, not being able to sleep properly and not trusting myself or know if I can ever trust others but OMG this Talk has answered SO many questions! A 100x Thank you! ❤
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
Have you considered trauma therapy? EMDR + CBT. Self care is very important. Find things to do that give you joy and peace. Be kind to yourself. Here are some healing books. I hope they help. Take care. The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And Body In The Healing Of Trauma---Bessell Van Der Volk The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay More personal development books- podcasts. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And Body In The Healing Of Trauma---Bessell Van Der Volk Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Four Pillars of Self Love - Sam Vaknin podcast Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Never Forgive Infidelity - Sam Vaknin podcast Cheating Triangulation In Sick Relationships ---Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary The Genetics Of Cheating - Maken Murphy podcast I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All - David Tian PhD podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin podcast
@lf3554
@lf3554 26 дней назад
@sherriflemming3218 Very good list I've read a lot of these books also. It's an excellent way to gain knowledge!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
​@@lf3554 Thank you! They're helpful books. Many people cannot afford therapy. The Hoffman Process - the actual workshops are more effective than the book apparently. Personal development seminars are beneficial.
@WaterFor3st
@WaterFor3st 23 дня назад
I like that the person just listed books and a podcast 😊
@XZ858XZ
@XZ858XZ 27 дней назад
Watching this as an INTJ woman… 👁️👁️ 👄
@fancynancy2888
@fancynancy2888 26 дней назад
As a fellow INTJ woman, I was taking notes!
@2twentysix
@2twentysix 25 дней назад
😂😂 INTJ female also wondering if there’s still more to know…
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
@@2twentysixYeah, uncover the layers of that narcissist & EXPOSE them for who they really are!
@jennifergraham5615
@jennifergraham5615 25 дней назад
I’m an INFJ and you answered all of my questions in the first 20 minutes. I’ve been trying to make the connections in all this. Thing is I learned to identify con artists now and being in a state of limerence is a depression. Spent a lot of life being a sole trouper, hanging onto mental wellness and dealing with narcissists. They are odd and think you’re god or something to take on an army against you because there’s recruiting people saying you’re the one who doesn’t know better. What a life to live. Of course I learned but I mean it really took awhile to understand everything. Even when I was being taught this stuff, I could only get surface levels of it at a time. It was TOUGH to imagine.
@user-mn9qp8iu7h
@user-mn9qp8iu7h 24 дня назад
Know-like-trust!! OMG!! As a feeler I can tell you our Achilles’ heel is to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Always our blind spot.
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Yeah. & the "Loyalty" factor, "give 'em a 2nd chance", "through thick & thin", "for richer...for poorer" (the subtly over-time jobless hobosexual parasite who can't seem to hold down a job, financially reckless; in-between relationships & unfinalized divorce from the "estranged" wife they vaguely claim they "plan to leave SOON"); explain away their misbehaviors &/or "victimhood": "they're having a bad day", "they're going through tough times", blah, blah, blah...[It's ALL one, big: CON!]
@pitasag123
@pitasag123 25 дней назад
"Think for yourself; question authority" ~ Bill Hicks 1:15:50
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Good one! [& another: The "Milgram Shock Experiment" -- Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale University, carried out one of the most famous studies of obedience to authority in psychology. He conducted an experiment focusing on the conflict between obedience to authority & personal conscience.]
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Remember, people can have criminal records expunged that’s what a friend of mine. That’s a cop stated so you still have to be careful if you do not find any research on them.
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
Thanks for sharing this. [Another thing learned is that these perpetrators are unlikely to change, & only get worse over time.]
@Jae-by3hf
@Jae-by3hf 26 дней назад
50:22 what Andrew is saying here is so on point and is a reminder that our family systems are primarily the reason why we have these thoughts of looking silly! We don’t even have safe homes to go back to and are trying not to bring embarrassment and shame to ourselves!
@lisabarder5402
@lisabarder5402 25 дней назад
This is the best RU-vid interview I have ever watched about this very interesting topic. Andrew Bustamante explains everything in an understandable manner - thank you so much!
@p.s.6674
@p.s.6674 27 дней назад
Wow!!! Lisa's guests are always so amazing, insightful and incredibly helpful! Would love to see an interview with Crappy Childhood Fairy too! Lisa thank you for everything you're doing to help women live their best lives!
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Yes!!!
@peggybaker1852
@peggybaker1852 24 дня назад
🙌🏻 Lisa is making us all strong and empowered! Thank you so much love!!!
@MaureenJonesSmithArts
@MaureenJonesSmithArts 15 дней назад
Yep. I'm glad that I fought through my own blind spots and eventually left the person who isolated, manipulated, and abused me. It was just as difficult to find and heal the reasons for my attraction to people who I saw as "strong," but who were actually so weak in character that they felt they had to control others to have self worth. The anger is fading, the triggers are fading... but it's a lifetime process to be empathetic, loving and open without feeling the need to rescue or be rescued.
@n26c88
@n26c88 27 дней назад
I manage someone with antisocial personality disorder it is the oddest thing - trying to express why her language is hurtful, rude and unprofessional and being met with a wall of judgement and dismissal. She constantly throws people under the bus.
@gabriellaluzpm
@gabriellaluzpm 22 дня назад
Why do you keep her in your team? She can make you look bad too eventually.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
Indeed she can cause major problems in your workplace.
@mlfigueroa
@mlfigueroa 21 день назад
Andrew Bustamante is a great guest.
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
THIS IS A MUCH NEEDED WATCH!! I BEG ALL WOMEN AND MEN TO WATCH THIS show!!!
@luchiayoung
@luchiayoung 23 дня назад
Psychotropic medications also make people numb with no highs and lows of normal emotions
@HighSpeedNoDrag
@HighSpeedNoDrag 8 дней назад
Not everyone reacts or benefits in the same clinical manner regarding Psych Meds.
@anastasiawalter2390
@anastasiawalter2390 25 дней назад
Hard to believe it’s only 10% of the population. I think it’s way higher.
@katarinatibai8396
@katarinatibai8396 19 дней назад
Among the nurses and doctors, definitely 😢 I am a care worker, and I see many ugly stuff every day. This work environment is really insane.
@sacredpaw
@sacredpaw 26 дней назад
Great show with Andrew, thank you both. Priceless information. I deal with narcissistic abuse often. Those people need to be locked away for life.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
Wouldnt that be a blessing!
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Agreed!!! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
@@sherriflemming3218please God! 🙏
@MielaMaze
@MielaMaze 25 дней назад
💯
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 23 дня назад
In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. A background check is a necessity. Monitoring behavior during dating. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Magnetic Narcissists Pathological Charisma----Sam Vaknin Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All - David Tian PhD podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary The Genetics Of Cheating - Maken Murphy podcast
@FreePalestineEndZionism
@FreePalestineEndZionism 19 дней назад
This man is amazing. Thank you so much. He explains CULTS so well. He clarifies the difference between Autism and cluster B personality disorders and how they get misunderstood. I really appreciate his insight and perspectives. We must guard our mind.
@elinamaar
@elinamaar 26 дней назад
This was by far my favorite episode yet, so fascinating! Really hoping we get to see more episodes with Andrew.
@nath1217
@nath1217 22 дня назад
Wow he’s the only one who can explain mbti in simple but understanable words 👏
@barbstotter7288
@barbstotter7288 4 дня назад
Tell them no flat out. The reaction gives them away immediately!!! They don’t accept the word no.
@AwakenedAndAware
@AwakenedAndAware 19 дней назад
My narcissist has no empathy, will never apologize, consistently insults my intelligence, always wants to "make a bet". Talks loud because he's half deaf then says to me "stop screaming you're hurting my ears". He has gotten 3 people at work fired " because they can't do anything right" and is now working on getting the office manager fired because of course, she is incompetent as well. He won't cut the grass or take out the garbage. Tells me my dog likes him better than me and he actually started saying "Get Her" so that the dog started to attack me. He also won't pay his fair share, nickle and dimes on food and controlling A/C so he can live for $250/month and stash his money in his checking and his 401K. I haven't divorced him yet because he will try taking me to the cleaners.
@marinmundahl957
@marinmundahl957 3 дня назад
You definitely have a true narcissist. Throw him a curve ball when you actually get to leaving…..something he can’t anticipate or has time to manipulate you from doing your way. Don’t linger in conversation…..when that time comes….get out and put your safety first. Don’t get sucked back in. Don’t give him to much time to think of how he can reel you back in. Leaving is the most dangerously time. Good luck dear😢
@nunyamindyub3255
@nunyamindyub3255 День назад
Leave without telling him. Out of the state if possible. Prayers to you 🙏
@tmstani23
@tmstani23 26 дней назад
There is so much gold in this podcast. Thank you for a fascinating and truly useful conversation.
@I_am_Shori_Xx
@I_am_Shori_Xx 20 дней назад
"Unless you're aware of what your vulnerabilies are, you're blind to how you're being duped." - Andrew Bustamante Dang, why didn't I hear of this?! That explains the structure of how manipulative people work. This saying is like a secret weapon against manipulators if you ask me
@KarinMYearwood
@KarinMYearwood 26 дней назад
This was really good. I’d change the word “secret” to private. Secret often feels manipulative. But privacy demands respect. And yes, he has gorgeous hair 🥰
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
In this world verify everything. Discernnent. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record A stranger can say anything. A background check is a necessity. People rarely change. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
@Amy_Las_Vegas
@Amy_Las_Vegas 24 дня назад
I always love your shows and guests❣️ Best thing is that you listen and don’t interrupt as often happens in different shows. Your energy is ❤️😁
@brenhandford6627
@brenhandford6627 13 дней назад
First husband was sociopath. Second a sociopath. Third a narcissist. I feel as if I can’t win.
@JaneNewAuthor
@JaneNewAuthor День назад
Was your father?
@valiizajames925
@valiizajames925 27 дней назад
Okay 🔥... An interview I didn't know I needed to hear.
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Best ever! I married a con man!!!! This is so important!!!
@susanparker9877
@susanparker9877 14 дней назад
My journal was my greatest asset, dealing with a narcissist. Also I noted fights, drunk driving, binges, etc on the kitchen calendar. There was the pattern in its truest colors. No lying.
@shellyjoseph3109
@shellyjoseph3109 21 день назад
Masterclass right here so.many gems here
@sda141
@sda141 21 день назад
It goes without saying, Lisa Bilyeu is fantastic at interviewing. Andrew Bustamante is a great interview. I find him quite interesting. Thank you
@LuluSoulGuide
@LuluSoulGuide 27 дней назад
Thank you!! -this interview is incredible Lisa! I’m going to re-listen a third time with my notepad, there is SO much knowledge in it!! ❤
@westernnut8407
@westernnut8407 26 дней назад
One of his best interviews. Thank you.
@r.p.8906
@r.p.8906 25 дней назад
Literally a life saving interview. i already listened to it twice. thank you so much.
@resdid805
@resdid805 25 дней назад
EXCELLENT guest and show. I could listen to him all day. He has so much fascinating knowledge. Lisa, I’m so glad you asked about women watching true crime. Even though I’m one of them, I too have always wondered what’s behind it. Thank you for sharing your show and gift with us.
@HamletsMill1969
@HamletsMill1969 26 дней назад
Wow!! More tools for How To navigate this world and protecting our self. Thank you Lisa and Andrew!!!!
@minkagaston
@minkagaston 26 дней назад
This was such an amazing and insightful episode. I know I'm going to watch this a couple more times and it will be something that I routinely revisit. Thank you for such an impactful episode.
@natalierosepage4261
@natalierosepage4261 26 дней назад
I loved this interview! Thank you for sharing this information
@user-gl7ci5lr7t
@user-gl7ci5lr7t 25 дней назад
Gold interview! Thank you Lisa!
@biggim3265
@biggim3265 26 дней назад
It is amazing listening to Andrew he is so knowledgeable and nice with it, I am in danger of procrastinating on what I am meant to do but can't wait to listen to him tonight. Thank you so much for sharing this info ❤
@marshahinson6930
@marshahinson6930 27 дней назад
Thank you so much! I am grateful for this wisdom! It helps us protect ourselves.
@jjesseeliza0527
@jjesseeliza0527 26 дней назад
WOW! This is so fascinating!! Wish I would've watched this several years ago!!! So enlightening! Thank you for this ❤
@glamisgirl309
@glamisgirl309 26 дней назад
Such a great episode!! Thank you:)
@Whippet4Life
@Whippet4Life 25 дней назад
Damn, That was sooo good and I didn't expect it would be! Thank you , Lisa!❤ I hope you never stop doing Women of impact
@everydayisnew1831
@everydayisnew1831 25 дней назад
Wow Wow Wow. Great interview, so interesting. One of the top 3 interviews I've heard on this channel, if not #1. Thank you
@annieb8521
@annieb8521 24 дня назад
He's my favorute guest you've had!!! Awesome help!😊
@cctreadway8962
@cctreadway8962 20 дней назад
This was my favorite interview with Andrew B. by far. Thank you! This was SO informative and clear.
@fabianafran927
@fabianafran927 27 дней назад
What an amazing interview! So many key things that we must be aware!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 26 дней назад
In this world verify everything. Discernnent. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. A stranger can say anything. Standards boundaries a bs detector and a backbone 💪. A background check is a necessity. Verify facts. We are commonly attracted to someone that resembles our childhood caregivers. "The familar" IMAGO Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg PhD Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast The Mask You Live In Documentary Seek Good Character A Reminder To Us All - David Tian PhD podcast The Science Of Cheating-- Maken Murphy podcast The Genetics Of Cheaters --Maken Murphy podcast Ive Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu podcast
@d0v3Tai1
@d0v3Tai1 23 дня назад
@@sherriflemming3218Well said! & Thanks so much for attaching the helpful 📚book titles & relevant resources.🙌
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
​​​@@d0v3Tai1Youre very welcome. I hope it helps women to be safer.🇨🇦 Some of the books have utube podcasts.
@lf3554
@lf3554 26 дней назад
This is very good Lisa! Please yall take notes and do away with qualities that make you easily manipulated and test the people who come into your life!
@Portia620
@Portia620 25 дней назад
Oh, I did test a guy. I stood him up at the last hour becsue he had me freaking out how fast he was sooo in love with me!! not in love, but the pedestal thing where I’m just as amazing light and he knows God drew him to me, blah blah blah how all these other women want him and he picked me all blah blah blah blah blah😂😂. I don’t wanna be killed so I’m like you’re right you know I have some issues to work on. Don’t we all right I’m not perfect. Feel like I’m walking on eggshells with these guys.!! if it’s that hard in the beginning, there is a problem
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 22 дня назад
​​@@Portia620 Lovebombing and future faking is coercion. Common in cluster B personality disorders. The first 3 months is basically lust and limerance not real love. Sam Vaknis channel has excellent information. We are attracted to the familar. Someone that resembles our childhood caregivers. IMAGO. A background check is a necessity. In this world verify everything. Discernment. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
@misspea1913
@misspea1913 4 дня назад
This interview can litterally save our Lives. Thanks and I will definately watch and watch again. There's alot to learn here.
@Carlaburgess
@Carlaburgess 21 день назад
This was so powerful and helpful for me; thank you both SO MUCH !! I will use this information, to help myself and those I care about.
@destinyschild5768
@destinyschild5768 24 дня назад
This is one the best interviews on RU-vid!
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