Citizen Soldier - I Hate Myself (Official Lyric Video) 

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"I Wish somebody loved me as much as I Hate myself" is something I relate to way too much

“The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am” hit me right in the heart. Thanks for another powerful song

I'm really someone who can't love myself no matter what I do or try. I hate myself every time, sometimes for my personality, sometimes for my looks.. It's like this song was written for me too

I'm listening to this on my birthday, wishing my family would listen to my problems... But no. I'm forced to put a mask on, pretending I'm happy. Edit: It's been over a year since i posted this, and i hope everyone who has replied or will reply in the future has their lives turned for the better. If there's at least one person rooting for you, it's me.

I wish I could share this with others without being judged, pitied, or insulted. I feel this so much over the past few decades. It feels like me so much. Thank you for vocalizing my feelings

This song hurts with how true it is. "I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends" hit really hard. 🧡

Right now in my life...I'm 30, living alone, getting up going to work then come home to an empty apartment by myself. None of my family calls me. I have no friends. This song actually made me cry because ever since my mom passed last year I feel every lyric in this song. Thank you Citizen Soldier not just for this song but all you guys do for people.

I really hope you're okay man. Last time someone made songs like these it didn't end well and no one would want that happen to you too. Stay strong, there are definitely lots of people who love you, especially your audience.

I wish I was beautiful I wish I was smart. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was dead. I wish I didn’t have depression. I wish I didn’t have anxiety. I wish I felt loved. I wish people understood how I feel I wish my mom didn’t make me go to therapy. I wish I had someone to feel the pain with me. I wish I could feel happy again like I did 7 years ago. I wish I had friends. I wish I didn’t need to feel numb or like my life is a nightmare. I wish I could feel like people care for me. I wish the monsters in my head could not keep me up until 1:00am. I wish I never started becoming sad when I was 7.

“For every time I thought of ending it all wish somebody had felt what I felt” 🥲 such a good song

I swear that this is probably their top 3 songs in my opinion. I felt so connected since i first heard it and its just so incredible. #citizensoldierforever

Dear Citizen Soldier, Thank You For Putting Words To The Feelings I Feel. Thanks For Giving A Voice To Those Who Can't Vocalize Their Emotions And Thank You For All You Guys Do. Whoever Is Reading This, Just Remember No Pain Lasts Forever, Scars Remain But Scars Are What Makes You Unique And Special. You Are Needed By Someone Even If You Don't See It Face To Face. ;IGY6. Stay Strong Together. Tomorrow Is A New Day That We Can Make Our Own! Stay Here, Stay Alive, And Most Importantly Stay You! Its Okay To Not Be Okay. Just Know Someone Out There Is Rooting For You And If You Don't Think Anyone Is.. I Am!

“I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” 🥺 this song is so relatable

Okay new fucking rule. Do not listen to new songs while driving. This one instantly wrecked me and now I'm having a breakdown on the freeway.

If somebody loved me as much as I hate myself they'd be an obsessed stalker who won't leave me alone.

Always hyped for a new citizen soldier song

I love this song, it’s like giving my past self a hug, I felt this for so long, all alone and now? I have finally found the people who do love me as much as I hate myself

I genuinely don't think it's possible for someone to love me as much as I hate myself. I don't think anyone can give me the type of love I want. I want too much.

That time when your English skills are enough to know the lyrics meaning

I wish my parents would just listen to what I have to say 😢

“The more I speak, the more I see, just how alone I really am” this line hit me hard. Love it guys. Thanks for bringing all the great hits

Lyrics I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place I wish I could have a mental breakdown Without turning my life into a ghost town So many things I would change But more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends I wish I could be honest about the ugly Without every single person running from me These days it's hard to have faith And more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself The floods I feel This storm could kill I'm better off to keep it damned 'Cause the more I speak The more I see Just how alone I really am I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself

"For every time I've thought of ending it all, I wish somebody had felt what I felt" Damn that hits hard.. Thank you guys for yet another absolute banger, of which that means a lot, to so many people ❤❤

Everybody who relates needs a true friend who doesn't judge, just listens, supports, makes you feel fine if even for a moment. We're going through so much and I am honestly in a place where my hate towards me seems just as unconditional as the love I once had Edit: If anyone reading this needs this person and is willing to be this person for someone else, you can reach out and I'll be here❤

Wish had friends

This song hits hard. I really wish I wasn't so alone with the struggles.

Absolutely love the songs I hope you guys keep creating these amazing songs that a lot of people can resonate as these have helped me understand things I never could’ve understood before

Last night when it was added to my playlist at midnight I was shocked because I thought it was Tuesday but I was also so excited! 😂❤❤ I love this song so much..!

Now I remember why I don't listen to songs for the first time in public. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" almost burst out in tears in the middle of a restaurant. 😢 All of your songs destroy me in the best way because they are so damn relatable

This band has a particular ability to help so many even if they don't know it.

Living with anxiety disorder and depression these songs give me power to stay here and woke up every morning ❤️

“I wish I had somebody to call when I am not ok” hit hard I have anxiety it started at the age of 9 when I started to get bullied and now I am 10 and stuck in hell and can’t get out please help

There are some powerful lyrics in this one. Thank you guys for the reminder that I'm not alone. This week has been a little hard for me since I just found out that my mom's love is conditional. I'm lucky enough to have a good support system, but this song hit different with this going on. Keep up the great work guys 🧡

I was diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy in 2022. Couldn't drive, work. On 02/28/2023 I was put into the hospital for continuous seizures. Found out I was pregnant. Lost the baby at 6 weeks. I grew into a depression. My best friend, my Nana passed away 3 months after the baby. Another 2 months later my grandfather passed. We had no money, and our house was going into foreclosure because of only one income. In November of 2023 I was in a car accident because of my seizures. Started the beginning of this year ok. Until my new seizure meds kicked in. My new meds counteracted my meds I had been taking... which was a mood stabilizer. I am currently in a state of depression so bad, I'm willing to abandon my family, so scared of myself because I feel like I don't belong with my family because my condition is causing missed time, and early dementia I can't do it any more. But I listen to your songs and start to feel better. Thank you for making me feel better through your music.

When my heart is broken, when I don’t wanna continue fighting I turn to you guys to help me get through the night. Thank you

To all those who need to hear this. You are loved. You are wanted. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. “No pain, no gain.” You are all living proof of these quotes. Your abuse hurts and will probably continue hurting but this will make you a stronger person. Your bravery and strength to hold on will be rewarded in the future. Don’t give up now because there is so much out there worth living. If you die, you’ll never experience the joy and happiness of life. You’re your own jury, your own judge. Don’t look at others. Only look at yourselves because you matter. You always have, ever since you were born, and you always will. “Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child.” You aren’t the monster. Whoever is torturing you is. Love yourself and others will love you. Respect yourself and other will respect you. “Your abuse is your glory” as Citizen Soldier has said in one of his songs. Your abuse is your glory and the story you will write in your future. No one is like you. God makes everyone different and if you die. Your uniqueness dies with you. No one wants that. If your loved ones can’t see that then they are not truly your loved ones. There is no one else like you. Don’t think you are inferior. Everyone is the same. What matters is what’s in your heart, nothing else. Remember that and live your life to the fullest so one day, you can look back and say “I really did it all.” Live life with no regrets and leave this world happily knowing you experienced everything you’ve ever wanted. Karma will punish those who’ve hurt you and Karma will reward you for your glorious bravery. You’re the next generation and the warriors of this world. You’re special. One day this world will see that. Everyone who’s ever doubted you will see that. You don’t need anyone’s approval other than your own. Never forget that and live a life full of love, happiness and fulfilment. We’re all with you :) Sorry if I started rambling but seeing all these comments about how people have suffered just made me want to say this to everyone who needs it. I hope you don’t mind if you’ve read all the way to here and sorry if I wasted your time but I’ll always be here for anyone who needs to vent.

"The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really I am" is one line that will stick with me

This song slaps! Thank you Citizen soldier.

Just want to share my feelings so no one will feel alone. I am 20 years old and I get love from friends and family but I’ve never had a girlfriend or something like that and it really sucks something is missing and it feels terrible. To all people that feel the same it will be better and you will find the love but to find the love you have to love yourself first. Lastly drugs or alcohol will not help you I’ve already tried and it only gets worse. Stay strong and do good things for yourself workout, meditate go out of your comfort zone and don’t give a shit about what anyone tells you !

Idk what to say this is actually amazing. I understand the reletable parts in the song bc reality isnt easy. Ik that there is parts when u want to loose yourself. But when life is hard, distract yourself with something you enjoy, listen to music to calm your mind. And finally, talk it to your family or friends. Ik life isnt easy, ive seen it happen. Just know that your doing your best.

It's insane how you guys CAN'T make a bad song. This is so powerful and beautiful.

I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed 💙 Another great song! 💛 Thank you Citizen Soldier! 💜💜💜

I really relate to this song. No matter what I do, it feels like I can't truly love myself and accept myself just as who I am. I've always felt there was someone society expected me to be. A mold I had to fit and I think trying to fit in tight just might break me. Depression is very hard ngl. I'm still searching for a purpose, because me didn't feel like a good enough purpose, didn't feel enough to just live for myself. I wanted to live for someone else but I've been alone pretty much all my life. I just cry at night when I realize how alone and depressed I feel not knowing why, just wishing I had someone really care for me because I can't care for myself even though I try my best to fight these demons that are in my head. I wish, I wish I could go to sleep at night and feel okay. I wish, I wish I didn't feel like a part of me went missing never to be found. I wish, I wish I didn't spend my life comparing myself to others. I wish, I wish my self worth wasn't tied to the love I get. I wish, I wish I could run freely like when I was 9. When I had issues but was too young to be affected by them. When I didn't care. For anyone reading this, you are special and so worth it and lovable. Just look how cute you are, I wanna hug you! Please don't give up and seek help if you need to, but please find a way to let out your emotions, don't bottle the pain. I love you! ❤️ Thank you Citizen Soldier. Nobody can repay what you guys are doing. Putting our feelings into words and giving us a healthy way to let them out. Thank you guys! 💙 Edit: "The more I speak, the more I see just how alone I really am" hit me really hard. I really feel alone and don't know what to do.

“Cause the more I speak, I see just how alone I really am” always gets me 😢

fuck man im bawling right now. sometimes i wish i would i have went through with it, but there were always obstacles in my way. for the first 12 years of my life, i had a narcissistic, abusive father who always abused my mother, he never understood my Autism and ADHD and he used to say lies about it that made me throw up in my mouth, today im 16 with PTSD and ive been suffering Depression since I was only 6. years. old. I used to lock myself in my bedroom and Eat and eat and eat and eat. my stress eating was so bad, i was 300lbs at 10 years old. not a single person understood me in elementary school, which meant I didnt have friends until HIGH SCHOOL. those horrible memories still haunt me to this day, but me and my mother are in a safe place now.

Seriously they can NEVER disappoint with their songs 🎵 I cannot tell you how much these songs saved my life 🧡

I lost my fiance to suicide earlier this year and this song is the epitome of how I have been feeling lately. Thank you for all of the songs that are helping me hold onto this thread that I call life.

The amount of emotion and feelings you guys put in the song is just crazy! Loved it

I think this is the only song or video to every make me tear up,also the most relatable one

This song is perfect. There are no other words for it. For the past 4 years ive finally had someone who has proven that some how someone cares enough about me loves me enough for the both of us. Who remimds me there is a reason to living. Even when most of the time i dont want to. He has pushed me to get the help i need. I wont say im better. But im working on it. Im not gonna be the person to say it gets better because not always it does. But when you find that someone who loves you enough it does get a little easier to breath to find hope. My life is still a dark place to be but with him in it theres atleast a small light. Your music always hits differently then other artists. Its like a deep understanding that no one else can understand so keep doing what your doing. Your music im sure keeps people going. Least for me it has.

This is exactly how I felt last year in my first year of university. New place, haven't made any friends, would cry myself to sleep sometimes. It felt better sometimes to know I didn't have friends that I could drive away if they knew what happens in my mind. Hell I still make myself feel that way today, "the more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am" and it was easier to say to made up friends cuz it's just voicing it to myself. Painfully beautiful song 🧡

This is honestly one of the best songs I have heard that describe how I felt. This band honestly is the best band that has songs that truly express how I feel. You guys don't hide the meaning through advanced poetry in your song writing. You guys just go straight for it and get straight to the point in your lyrics and have the most balls out of any band to express these feelings this specifically. There is no questions to what your songs are about. Its clear as day and I love it

Damn... this song here really does cut in deep. Thanks CS! Another banger as always

1:15 I relate to this

I’ve struggled with trauma and depression from such a young age that I never got to develop relationships properly, this really hits home. I’m in therapy trying to improve, but I still feel unloveable

This entire song is just something I'm able to relate to and have been able to, I've accepted it and the fact I'll never get better, I just hope I can help others I come into contact with not feel the way I feel about myself, this world, and life in general. If anyone reads get help if you need to and you deserve to spend the rest of your days in happiness and joy

Y’all have done it again creating a lovely if not heartbreaking song! I remember being in a place of self-loathing wishing I had people I could lean on and I’ve happy to say I’ve found my group and am learning to be kind to myself more and more every day!

I’m don’t know what’s more frightening. How moved I was by the song, or how much my life resembles it.

Leave a like if you talk to AI cuz you don't want to be a burden to other people or they usually just make things worse.

Every song of you guys makes me cry. I can relate to all of your songs very much. It is good that you exist. And that you make this music. You can express what many of us think and feel.

"I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made-up friends" hits so hard. Thank you for this masterpiece

Thank you so much for this amazing piece! As always, wonderfully done 😊😊

Didn't think a song would hit every point so accurately... if you know you know

I will never find someone that loves me as much as I hate myself. I utterly, truly and absolutely despise and detest myself

already heard it on spotify and love it. Well done as always

I had to write up a devotional for this weekend about mental health and the Bible. I referenced this song in the devotional. This is something I relate to way more than people in my life will ever know. But praise God I am now in a better place! Thank you for this music that shares the struggles that so many people have

_¡¡¡"Wow Que Hermoso y Increíble Canción Citizen Soldier✨🖤🌹(♡ω♡ ) ~♪🥀💘Me Encantó, Tiene un Gran y muy Poderoso Significado, Sigan Así y No Paren son los Mejores, los Amamos ♥️ Saludos y Abrazos desde México💕🇲🇽(つ✧ω✧)つ"!!!!_

Haven't see anyone talk about the "I wish I could have a mental breakdown without turning my life to a ghost town"

Everyone thinks that my life is good but is totally the opposite I just pretend

" I wish somebody loved me as much I hate myself, I wish somebody listend as much I go throught Hell " are the most powerfull words that explain our socity now! We all need to learn to *love* , *listen* and *understand!* The first words of the song are already giving vibes that it will be beautifull as always! 🧡 I wish to everyone to have a great every Day! 🧡

This song is everything that I expected it to be. I broke into tears as soon as I heard this clip. This is one of my greatest struggles in my life. There's such an intense amount of self-hatred that I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Thank you, Citizen Soldier! I was looking forward to this one when I saw the tracklist for Scarecrow.

My family is slowly falling apart

I hate myshelf and i wish that my family listen to my problems and i want to have a mask tohide my emotions

Every single song from citizen soldier is a punch to the gut. A very validating punch to the gut, followed by a long, tight hug that tells you that you’re not alone. It’s so, so amazing to have the things you’ve felt be put to words in a way that you never could. Describing feelings you never thought you could describe. Resonating with the lyrics and the stories and knowing that there are thousands of other people feeling that exact same way, connecting people across countries and continents with both shared trauma and the shared hope that things will always get better. I’m crying again, but it’s worth it. Love this, and love you 💛

To anyone who feels the same you are loved. Don't ever forget to make a name for yourselves and always remember to try and keep your heads up. Your stronger than you realize

Thank you so much for this song I needed this ❤❤❤❤🥺

Dokładnie. Chciałabym żeby ktoś mnie tak bardzo pokochał, tak jak ja nie lubię siebie, może wtedy zacznę lubieć.

Every lyric in this song, is as deep as the ocean. I remember when I first listened to this I was tearing up, and also like “dam! I felt that”

Another killer song from the best music therapist ever

"I wish I could be honest bout the ugly, without every single person running from me" & "I wish someone loved me as much as I hate myself"... you guys really speak out to us suffering from inner turmoil. Keep on jammin on guys 🤘🤟🏻🙌

This song hits home in more ways than one. Thank you Citizen Soldier for putting these feelings into words. ❤

Thank you for making a song that describes how I have felt for over a year now. And nobody understands how I feel inside.

I wish I wasn’t stuck sharing my secrets with my made up friends hit me another great song

“I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” Shit hit hard cause I wish this too, You did amazing on this song!

I'm going through my darkest moments and I find comfort in these songs. Thank you.

This song hit me hard. I can relate with every single words in the lyrics. Thanks for making this song. Gonna listen to this song everytime the episode hits. I really need this kind of music, cause i have nobody to talk with, and i never share my feelings to anyone else, music is my only escape. At least with this music i felt like i have someone that understand me.

do not worry citizen soldier we all went through the same😭😭

Shit never changes, even after 2 suicide attempts, sucks I'm a failure. Attempt 3 will happen eventually. I relate to this whole damn song, and the feelings need to stop, 24/7 pain on the inside and a broken heart, yeah what a life.

The connection I feel through your lyrics is like the hug that keeps me on the bridge.

This song hits me a whole lot. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" resonates with me. Every mistake or failed attempt triggers that self-deprecation so much. It has been at a high ever since I had messed up a relationship all because a devil named Anxiety took control.

"I wish somebody loved me...as much as i hate myself" such a raw line!!! 🥺🖤 I want y'all to know that your music is part of the reason why I'm still here, I can always find a song for any mood I'm in and it saves me. Keep up the exceptional work!!

I wish i really had someone to talk to who understands... and not only in my head...

Somehow every single line is relatable for me.

You know you feel that emotion when you get goosebumps and memories

This song is literally currently my stage of life.

I've never had a song touch me this deeply....

This song hits hard every word is relatable to my atrocious life I wish I wasn’t born or friends or loneliness or even worthless I hate my life so much I hate it so much u guys

my body is like a prison! i say im ok, but inside im screaming im not ok! im not worthy of love, im battered, bruised, broken and held together with tears! the world is a lonely place, the only conversations i have are with the voices telling me how worthless i really am. i love your songs, they say what i cant seem to say outloud. i have been to hell and im not back yet, i dont know if i ever will get back

I wish I could've heard this song earlier I love it in a way I can't explain. I wish I can love me as much as I used to hate myself Thank you CitizenSoldier! I can never stop my desire to feel the inspiration from your songs