That’s ignorant though. If a man can’t show you anything before marriage then he’s not going to marry you because you aren’t open to what he has to give. Matter fact, how would I even know the woman is the right woman to marry if she thinks I don’t have nothing for her until a ring.
Marries you and both of us work hard to stay faithful. Was married and things still fizzled ...Only after divorce did I learn that healthy relationship are cultivated and mere “ feelings “ change when you’re 🙁 unhappy. I understand now you chose your person even if they aren’t “ making you happy “ at the moment you work through the trenches. Respect , friendship , and love beyond feeling and accountability is important . God teach us real love in relationships and marriages. In Jesus name !
@Love 23Amazed The problem is, women can sometimes be hard to get along with. I shared my abstinence journey with a lady online and I shared with her, how, I was cohabiting with a former flame ( when we were together ) but still never had sex with him even if we co-habitated for 2 years , man, she blasted me. To be met with so much judgement and rage from her, I was surprised she called herself a believer but that's my truth and I'm not giving in. I find myself keeping occupied with things like exercise, makeup, books and I'm learning a new language. I hope you never give in, sister. Wait for Gods best. He knows what you're looking for.
@@ak-47intelligence75 wow, she went overboard with her response. This is where we, as Christians, lose people. That situation is not the wisest, but she could've had a more Christ-like response. Keep hanging in there young sister. God bless you!
@@ak-47intelligence75 The real Problem is Nobody is PRAYING. and what I mean by that is Christian Women are Not meeting to PRAY for Good GODLY Husbands to Come into our lives. There are Good men out there, but We need to Get Together to PRAY for God to bring the Right Men to Our Lives. Sisters around this nation are Suffering because We are Single and getting Older, but the Real Good Men are married to women who don't even Love them. There is a Mix-Match in Society today, but We ain't Praying. Women and Sisters in Christ should be meeting, having meetings on a weekly Basis to Pray for Men, for Our Men and for GOD to Bring husbands to Our Lives, otherwise, We are all going to Get Old and nobody is going to get married, because me are astray, and the Good Ones seem to be invisible. I KNOW that if Women have Prayer meetings and fasting and Praying and meeting to PRAY for deliverance and to Pray for the Right Men to come Along, I Know things will change.
Women need to stop telling their business. Whether celibate or virgin. Keep it to yourself. Like Tony says Men don't discuss or tell that they are being celibate or a virgin.
My legs was super glued shut for 11 years and counting no soul ties here , I'm waiting on the Lord for the man he specially designed for me and only me.
A grown man is going to discipline himself and wait for his wife. A grown boy is going to tell you that he is going to wait on you and than go sleep with someone else until you ready.
No man is waiting on a woman. Just like women aren’t waiting on men. Life is too short to be waiting on a human. We were born alone and we’re going to die alone.
@@larkford4460 I thought that a woman waits nine months to have a baby. So a woman is able to wait. A man got here through a woman and she had to wait to deliver the child.
I've been figuring out how to describe being abstinent and this is the perfect description! I realized the other day that I don't get triggered by hearing or seeing situationships anymore because I've had my legs closed for years now. And now I see I'm physically free as well!
Been with the same man for 32 years and 28 years of marriage. I follow a simple advice given to me by my mother " If you don't respect yourself no one will specially Men "
What he is saying is true. I dated a man that used me for sex, there I was thinking I had found my soulmate. Turns out he was the devil in disguise and only said the things he did because he knew what I wanted to hear. I didn't know that's what most men do to get you to drop them drawers. I had to learn the hard way, doesn't matter how young, pretty. Or what kind of body one has. Some men play childish games with your feelings and then pretend like they love you, never again. Close them legs and see if they feel the same way then.
Amen Sis. As a man, I'm telling to keep them legs closed for a YEAR and see how many dudes stick around without ghosting you then trying to circle back around when they get bored. That's what men do to try and wear you down.
Wow! I was just having a conversation with my mom this evening, how frustrated I was about waiting, because it seemed like people I know were having a wonderful time with their partners and not married to each other. I was starting to feel I was being old fashioned, because I am still single, and can't seem to meet guys who are abstinent like myself, and want a decent relationship. But hearing this message encouraged me to stay focused with my values of waiting... Thank you!
He can sleep with anything, including a man if you don't pay attention. Know your worth. Read Psalm 45, it talks about Jesus in an interesting way. Read it when that desire rages.
My legs have been closed for seven looooong years now. I pray to God he send my husband in the near future because I’m suffering in the flesh something awful!!! 🙏🏾
This is just a question what you said is that you have been holding yourself up as a lady for 7 years but while yet waiting you are having a problem in the waiting part you are craving to be with a man. Do you pray ask GOD to take that desire away until your husband comes because if you don't and you give in you should know the consequences of sleeping with him first of all he's won't be yours to keep because he's with some one else and probably got so many kids and then too he's not the kind to settle down . And the only thing i am saying is think before you leap because in the end it will cost you more than waiting for him to come to you and also the bible states when i man finds a wife he found a GOOD THING GOD didn't say if a woman finds a man hold yourself up you can do it find something else to occupy your mind. seriously and don't be around friends thats talking about it because that is going to make you want to be with a man ever worser. Don't put yourself in a situation you can do it.
I look at some of the characters out there now and say, the hell? Who wants this? I had some dude say something dumb to me and I asked, HOW OLD ARE YOU? Stopped him in his tracks.
Read Song of Songs in the Bible. Read the book of Ruth. Read Psalm 45, and think of what God thinks about REAL love, and REAL attraction, and REAL provision for you.
I’m 26 and still waiting for marriage but it’s very disappointing running into men who are only there to try to sleep with you. Thank you Jesus for discernment and the Holy Spirit. I appreciate this video so much !
He’s telling the truth. I was not intimate with my husband before I married him, nor did I spend money on him beforehand. I made a mistake with one guy in the past and learned what not to do. Now I am reaping many benefits from it. Thanks for the word Brother Tony. Yall listen. It may be tight, but it’s right!
So what benefits are your husband reaping? Women are always talking about “I” and what he does for “me” and how I’m benefiting.. but y’all never mention how you’re a benefit to your husband or what you do for him. Maybe he’s the type of simp that’s desperate for a woman to be in his life
Lark Ford SMH. Sorry you feel that way about all women. Take your issues with women to God and Get counseling. I didn’t mention his benefits because this was video was about women SPECIFICALLY. You sound bitter from getting hurt by women. You’re probably a simp with baby mama drama. My husband is a leader with integrity who vetted before marriage. Be gone. SMH.
Ironically the benefits I was talking about was being a women of WISDOM, UNDERSTANDING, etc. That went way over your head because you’re bitter. Wasn’t referring to anything concerning what I get from him SMH
YESSSSSS!!! Please tell them about this Tony! Stop selling your precious body short by sleeping with these men who are NOT your husband! Please ladies, be the "FEMININE ENERGY" in your relationship and be PATIENT! You will not regret this decision. You will have the honor, virtue, and cherishing from your man when you do this. Trust God, everything will work out in the bedroom.
That’s great advice to say “don’t say you are waiting until marriage but say you are waiting until you ready.” Because people do make mistakes and slip up so praying for strength and keeping it in the mind is great.
Very true. . Just look at the backing singers in some of them and nearly all the females are dressing and acting like cheap hookers! It's no longer music, it's trash!
I think real intimacy is laugher, finishing each other sentences, listening, observing each other accents as one speak, the joy of agreeing to disagree, enjoying a game or movie together. Exploring each other minds through those lenses. A few examples
This man is anointed..do you hear me? He is sharing straight truth and wisdom in EVERY SINGLE ONE of these videos. I haven't seen one yet where it didn't get an amen from me. Thank you again Tony for all you do and for inspiring us to not only to seek healthy loving relationships but walk in our purpose.
Yes! He IS annointed, I was just thinking that. It's different to see annointing in this setting (vs. a church, for instance). But He's preaching straight truth, backed by the Word, & passionate about his calling. Definitely annointed 🔥🔥
Okay so I’ve been struggling with being strong in the decision I made last year to abstain. Pressure from society, friends, bad family examples and loneliness make it so difficult. This helped me feel stronger in myself!! I realized I’ve never had real love before. I want it more than any simple pleasure of the flesh outside of marriage which has always caused me pain.
I think the main reason that men and women do not wait till mariage is because of all this pop culture, music and tv shows that portrays love as sex, especially with this generation where you see young girls at the age of 15 and 16 having multiple partners, it’s horrific.
So true, I've been abstaining for many years now for religious reasons, and its the best decision I ever made in my life..I have learned my worth as a woman.
Last days for sure women out here buying men. Smh, we gotta run back to the Word (Bible) and simply obey God and live in the ways of God. If we had a relationship with Jesus we wouldn't be so desperate for love.
@@kingtimmy9491 by nature a man is a provider no matter how times have changed. There is no changing the wiring. It is amazing that men want to lead but select to compare themselves and expect to be receivers these days...
preach, tony! you're right -- this IS a hard lesson for women to hear in this age of gratuitous sex. we need to get back on our power base, which is being in control of sex, and not letting men set the stage and the timing for us.
This is people in real, loving relationships can communicate without talking, and can a good time doing nothing. Keeping Tony's videos on repeat because, as a single lady, I need to hear messages like this because the world is bombarding us with messages to the contrary.
Without mental stimulation and real love you have nothing. Develop intimacy that doesn’t involve sexual intercourse. Thank you very much for your great advice Tony Gaskin. Amen 🙏🏽
I've said to The Most High Yah please do not send my future husband if he has been having sex with all these women under the son. Men need to really start living celibate or abstaining and cleaning themselves up. I'ts nothing worst than meeting a man who is in his 40's and 50's and very unhealthy mentally, spiritually, and physically.
I appreciate you and how you do not sugarcoat things. You speak nothing but facts, but I especially appreciate how you keep God first. God bless you and your family!
Tony I'm laughing but this is so true. I have definitely made these mistakes. Spending money on a knucklehead🤦♀️A man has done nothing for you until he marries you
What gets me is these men who just know you will give in. If you are serious you have to stick to your principles even if he moves on. You will have your self respect..which is so precious.
Vee luv is there something wrong with taking showers? I don’t take baths, do you? Hopefully you don’t sit and wash your ass in the dirty water you cleaned off in
My therapist told me that I was going through a rebirth and this video really helps me to understand what the relationship between man and woman should be. You have to build a relationship and intimacy and that means to me: there’s a lot of people who initially do not qualify but GOD.
Dont give a man your box, if he hasn't put a ring in a box. And if he hasn't check the martial box on a marriage license. Keep your legs CLOSED! 💍💎💕💒🤵👰
Tony Tony Tonyyyyyyyyyy this video is the truth!!!!! I laughed, got sad over my past, and excited about my future. I am currently in an awesome friendship with a man who has confessed his love in 10 months and when I say the love is only expressed in conversations this is truth you are speaking. I now understand and it has taken me by surprised, I was not looking for it, but there is a difference in a man with intentions and founded in Christ. Thanks for the gems. So much wisdom in this message.
Once legs are open the emotions are done!! Harder for a woman break out that!! Tough hopefully the man values you!! Men need to know what they want focus God then he will direct you to your wife!! If a man marries you in this day an age he really loves you lol. Awesome word!!
I could not sleep without making this statement, Tony you have just saved me. The guy I was dating and having sex already proposed me a threesome 😳😳 Thanks to your teachings I had already decided to stop this situationship and close my legs. Be abundantly blessed Tony
It’s still hard out here Tony. I’ve been celibate for 3.5 years. I still date. But usually this will run men off away when you say you aren’t looking to have sex... Maybe not right away but the relationship/courtship doesn’t last more than 5 months.
Well those men probably dont wont to commit or they dont want to fall in love ..... most dont so if they know your celibate and they dont see you as a prize to chase and cater too then yes they would choose not to waste their time which in terms you dodging bullets.
I made a decision to become abstinence at the end of 2019 BEST decision I ever made. I had to end a relationship but the result of that my relationship with God and myself has SKY Rocketed! I will keep praying to keep this commitment up.
Really try hard? Your words have inadvertently said he'll get it. It's not an impossible feat for women to not have sex, it's a choice whether you do or don't, unless your raped, that's different, but sex, well, no matter what, it is always a conscious choice of yours.
Keeping your legs closed is not just to know the person, but also to protect and guard our hearts from too much heartbreak due to soul ties... Also, to protect the heart of our future spouse.
Thank you for this powerful message because I am celibate and it’s about to be 8 months for me and I really want to be married and have a family in the future 💕💕💕🙏🏾
Be busy at church. Join the choir, usher board, treasury board. Be part of a ministry. Start reading Scriptures about your situation. It took me a longgg time, but it has been keeping me. Go into 2 Samuel and read what happens to a woman named Tamar, how she was ditched after her half brother raped her. Check out this creeps immediate reaction after it was over. Go to Genesis and read about Jacob, how he sexed up Leah his other wife, and hated her behind, but kept on coming. Makes you think.
I have the same opinion one year later. Women are always expected to be moral and responsible while men constantly see what they can “get away with.” If they are successful at “getting away with it”, women are then blamed for it. I.e. “keep your legs closed”. It is a total double-standard and an unnecessary battle.
Doris Johns I never really took Tony as disliking women, I think he does mean well. I appreciate his message. I wish every man could learn and grow the way he did lol
i have been abstinate as well and thankful i didnt give it up..It has cleared a lot of frogs from my life,The men who do not care and just looking for fun.Helped me to respect myself..To walk away..Valuing myself..
This is very good information! A long with avoiding a broken heart or yet another failed relationship, it would help us to avoid so many single parent homes also.
The "Close Ur legs" segment...Whew Chile..I had a GOOD cry. I prayed & repented 4 my foolish behavior & Poor choices. I "KNOW" better anyway, my Mom was a Pastor. But THIS Bro bottom lined it & broke it DOWN frame by frame. Again my 4EVER Bro TG Blessings 2 U 💯🎯🙏🏾
Tony thank you for everything for dedicating your time for us women. My dad wasn’t around I only have sisters. Not really around men when I grew up. Your insight is the realest from other youtubers. They say it’s fine to sleep on the first night smh. But now you saying the truth is setting me free.
I feel like since becoming abstinent and celibate from sex I feel like I can hear my own thoughts a lot more clearly now that I am not intertwined and intermingled with another person’s energy. I’m eliminating the wrong guys this way. Thanks for being a beacon of light & leading us straight to the truth Coach T ❤ you’re doing God’s work here on Earth. Many blessings of abundance to you and your family ❤
He be speaking the realest stuff I ever heard. I spent 15 years with a man that never saw me as a wife. I had a child with him and he lived off of me for years. He is still a grown boy years later even tho I wasted years of my life I’m so thankful that I learned wat I don’t want n how to recognize REAL Love . Thank u Tony Gaskins for your knowledge and wisdom it is much need and appreciated 💪🏽❤️💯
Omg this wasn't long enough!!!! Love your wisdom!!! Message was on target! God is really dealing with me! I WILL wait for marriage, no more compromises in Jesus name.
I haven't had sex in almost 3 years now... After I had my 2nd daughter and broke it off with my girls father I made a vow to myself I wasn't gont have sex with him or nobody else!!!! I'm ready to meet the one and get married!!!!👆👰👰💎💍
@Kylee Lee Not me honey I'm one tough cookie!!! Dealing with men and my kids father has tought me how to be tough and not fall for the game that men run!!! I'm 33 and been there done that!!! I know better this time around!! If u don't like what I say about me not having sex and wanting to get married!!! Bye Bye Boo!!!!!✌️✌️✌️ I ain't got time💅💅💅
Kylee Lee Indeed. They feel they are entitled to a woman’s body *JUST BECAUSE* she already has a child/children. Good thing they are not the finally answer, WOMAN are and no means *NO!*
This is real talk I wish someone should of been teaching us this back in the day when I was coming up it would of change my entire out look on life thank you Mr. Gaston for your advice and knowledge .
I love this guy...you are saving so many lives and you don’t know it. We as women need to raise our game. Raise our standards and raise our self esteem, that’s when we will rise and attract real beauty instead of no account users. I am actually a married woman. I am one of those women who did not live with my husband or sleep with him before we got married. When I tell my friends that, they look at me like I have horns. The sexual side is beautiful and remains beautiful when you invest in loving each other. And btw when my husband, (he ain’t perfect), tried to entice me to sleep with him before we got married and I said “no”, his interest level went sky high. Just sayin.
I’m new to the videos here but I tell you, each time that I’ve watched I see sooooo many mistakes that I have made!!! And each time I become more and more stronger. It’s not easy being single but It’s worth it. I’m WORTH IT, WE’RE WORTH IT ladies. Stay blessed ❤️
I have learned SO much from watching your videos over the last several months. I now understand why I am single. I have fumbled the ball in every situation.