Finally a clutter theory I agree with! Someone said “outer order, inner calm”. But I have felt like my clutter was due to my inner chaos (from stress, anxiety, overwhelm, depression). Just decluttering doesn’t remove the stress! And often I can’t declutter because of my stress levels. Anna talks about trauma. And trauma can be many things, not just childhood neglect - a failed marriage, losing your job, medical issues, financial struggles, etc! I look forward to trying her techniques.
I so appreciate you covering this topic. Decluttering is *not* easy for me, nor is any kind of self-care, which I strongly believe is due to trauma. Anna’s personal story is inspiring and I look forward to checking out her program.
What a phenomenal podcast! Dawn, thank you. This is so applicable no matter where you are on your journey. She is so relatable and knowledgeable. I cried over and over again listening to this as it spoke to my soul.
I'm so glad you're talking with Anna! I've had such a challenge with the sometimes unintentional flippant, "just get rid of it, you can get another one" comments. If only it were THAT easy. I'm SO glad Anna explained dysregulation for folks!
This is bringing me to tears…thank you for validating the trauma I experienced as a young girl & the fact that we can’t change how parents handled that…I do feel way better when I have decluttered over the last few years, I just need to release the weight that my body & mind has held onto no matter how much I eat right/workout…thank you for all this great info 💕💕
I didn't know how much I needed this conversation until I unexpectedly burst into tears in the middle of it. Thank you Dawn for introducing your audience to the Crappy Childhood Fairy (LOVE the name!!)! ❤
I love The Crappy Childhood Fairy! So much wisdom. (She's so thoughtful, did you notice that she has The Minimal Mom on her shelf?) This is why we can't just say "just do it" to everyone. Thanks Dawn for recognizing that decluttering is not as easy for everyone else. I love your channel and it's inspired me so much. Keep growing in your understanding. People need this!
This was wonderful as someone who probably has PTSD but undiagnosed. All my scans are normal but I have unexplained neurological symptoms- however, now I think they’re explained. ❤
I have PTSD and live with my trauma brain daily. I know how easy it is for me to slip into that nesting-too-much issue. That saving for the future and becoming overwhelmed by it. I work hard at minimalism and keeping my space decluttered because it helps me keep my brain decluttered. Keeping my spaces under control helps to keep my anxiety under control. I never thought it would work until I did it. Dawn, thank you for your videos...they honestly help me keep myself in a better place.
Thank you for this interview Dawn! I do believe that clutter can be related to mental, psychological and/or emotional unwellness: anxiety, depression or simply feeling overwhelmed by life (maybe after having gone through a rough patch). I would like to add that a dysregulated nervous system is not only linked to "crappy childhoods". We can have had loving parents but something along the way left an unseen wound in our system. Maybe a difficult birth or early childhood surgery, an accident, chemical toxicity... For those interested in learning more about the nervous system, I highly recommend to also check out Irene Lyon here one RU-vid. She provides a ton of information through her videos as well as free resources (exercises etc.) on her website. I find that having different resources is helpful as we all resonate with different people, techniques, exercises etc. 😊🌺
This was the most profound video I have ever seen on RU-vid. I didn’t know I needed it. But it was eye opening. I love everything you create and because you brought the crappy childhood fairy to my attention you have helped me even more than I ever thought possible. I actually feel more empowered to let go of material possessions than I did before. It’s like understanding the effect that a traumatic experience has had on me shines light on to why I hold on to certain things. Thank you! I also have more compassion for others and why they might not be ready for decluttering.
This interview hit so close to home. I’ve been through a similar journey & I took pretty much the same steps & the healthier my perspective got, the clearer things became. I was spiritually lost & opening my mind to the possibility that I wasn’t in complete control of my life because God was, helped me survive & thrive in tough times. Faith is so important. Faith brings hope & we all need that.❤
I am not a fan of the male voice you hired. It’s a strange voice after feeling so comfortable with yours and people you are usually with. It’s out of place. I would reconsider spending the extra money on that
I’ve been trying to declutter for two and a half years. Last year I bought your take back your house course and I’m no further forward. I’m no worse either. This means the course does work. I lived at 23 addresses before I was 18. My hoarding is definitely nesting in overdrive! I found this out by accident, however my therapist disagreed with me. She said it was a symptom of my childhood trauma - the Asperger’s and my general lack of organisation, and the lack of follow through. Whilst these may be contributing factors the crux of the issue is disregulation. Since self regulating progress albeit slow is happening
very few formally trained therapists I would ever trust at this point. I've seen quite a few myself. Good for you that you took your health into your own power to change.
Wow, thank you for sharing that, it actually just brought something to light for me I’d never put together. I also moved dozens of times in my youth and so never felt like anywhere was ‘home’. Hoarding/clutter as nesting in overdrive because we never had a secure landing place in our formative years makes so much sense.
@@caivail4614 I know, once you see it you just cannot unsee it. My stuff is my safety rug, my way of saying to the world, this is my space and you cannot take it from me. Recognising that I can keep my home, even if I let go of things was a whole lot easier than owning and believing that truth. I still have a long way to go, but I will get there, one little space at a time. Recognising that my hoarding is due to nesting, has helped me stop buying stuff. I have a long ways to go, but my kitchen is 1000% better, and I can actually access my back door now! Little by little I’m finding my way forward through the quagmire. I’ve elected to do it by myself, only because otherwise people rush my decision and because I don’t truly believe in it, it fails. I allow those who want to “help” to do it from the sidelines, through asking me how I’m doing fixing my problem. They are starting to understand now why it is so crucial for me to clear up my own mess at my own pace. I like Dana’s no mess method and can honestly attest that it does work. I’m no longer just stuff shifting, I’m getting rid of stuff.. I am making headway, no one but me. I’m making decisions to let go of stuff because I’m asking those two decluttering questions, and answering them honestly. I no longer have food in every room of my house because I recognise that as an adult, I’m not going to be going to bed on an empty belly, I know that even if I do find myself back in food poverty, I have the ability and the power to get help through food banks etc. I had food everywhere, even in the bathroom, a lot of it went to waste, tins had corroded, dried foods had become damp thereby spoiling it. Now all my food is in the kitchen - or at least all the food I could see is. The course does work, but you have to be in control of your behaviour, regulating your mood and operating from a place of neutrality. In that place I can reason with myself, no one is making me make the choices I make. There is no one throwing out my stuff because they think it’s rubbish, unwanted or unneeded. I have taken back my power! I have had to acknowledge that the only choice I have is to throw it away or keep it. None of those wanting to”help” want to collect stuff and take it to donate and I’m unable to take it there myself due to my physical limitations. If I keep the stuff I’ve released to let go of in my home, I tend to start second guessing my decisions.
Hi. Grannie Cyndy from South Australia here. I've been a follower of Anna for some time now and totally agree that clutter is often a symptom of cptsd. I'm 72 years old, the daughter of narcissistic parents (only learned this in the last few years). I raised 6 sons, mostly as a single mother after 2 marriages and divorces.
This was a podcast made in heaven, so to speak, with two of my favorites addressing the overlap of clutter and trauma! Mental, emotional, and physical decluttering are all so intertwined. Thanks for this collaboration.
Dawn, Thank you for sharing this. Her videos keep coming up in my feed but I kept ignoring them. I don't know why but I just didn't want to cope with anything. I am so excited now to go watch more. I think this will be very helpful.
Dawn, thank you for introducing me to Anna. I’ll be looking in to her programs as this podcast hit several raw nerves! I’m so thankful for the resources and people you share with us. I feel so blessed to have stumbled across your podcast a couple of years ago.
My psychologist sent me this. Already followed Anna, and looked at MM. Great talk. Things are really clicking for me finally. Always knew my mess indicated the mess in my brain. Both are doing baby steps thanks to these ladies who are such a gift to the masses
WOW! I’ve seen her videos popping up in my feed but just kind brushed her off as another “just love yourself and cut everyone out of your life “ RU-vid “therapists” guru. Thank you, Dawn for sharing this conversation with us! I relate so much to everything she’s speaking about. I’ll definitely be checking her channel out!
We talk about scarcity mindset and I think it goes hand in hand with a traumatic history in childhood. C-PTSD is a real and very complex issue and decluttering is one layer of healing that goes along with nervous system regulation and reprocessing and reparenting
Very powerful!! This resonated with me so much. When she said- when a family member dies-"i kept everything and every six months went through the stuff and slowly started getting rid of items til it was weeded down to a box of memories"
I’ve been following Anna for a while, and recently found Dawn. I’m finally able to tackle the mess. I’m accepting personal responsibility for the condition of the space around me and downsizing. I need to step up and become the stable adult that I’m intended to be.
Dawn thank you so very very much for having Anna on your channel I find things that I relate to and I have a dear friend that I haven't known how to help her and I think Anna's Daily practices may pave the way to her healing.She had a terrible childhood and is very much alone in this world.
Thank you so much Dawn for bringing Anna onto your channel! I subscribed to her emails over a year ago but it wasn’t meant for me then…this video is right on time for me. God’s perfect timing! I’ve been in trauma therapy for over a year and recently found out I have complex trauma. I’ve commented on your videos many times and other wonderful motivators as I desperately want to take back our spaces in our home but my situation was different…and I’m not alone. That is so comforting. I have been making progress and donated a lot of boxes…but it’s shocking how much more there is. But I will do it! Thank you again!
I have heard a common trauma pattern in ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) chronic busyness/over achieving. I am wondering if this then creates another trauma pattern in the next generation? Eg going in the opposite direction. My mother’s father drank a lot and her childhood was stressful and she has always been excessively busy and cannot seem to be unoccupied for any length of time. I feel this created its own trauma pattern in me where I responded by disassociating and shutting down due to feeling ignored & sidelined next to her never ending list of projects. I wonder if this is a common experience for the children of ACOAs?
Anna! This is a great collaboration. You’re talking about God! I know doing this is on your other channel might turn people off who really are searching for help. But it shows through with all of the good help you give. I’ve got my kids’ things down to a very stuffed milk crate. I’m going through their school papers now, because I was mentally absent then, partially because of a divorce, partially because this was the way our mother was with all of us growing up. But I’m contacting my son, about some of the things, and he’s responding and reminding me how I neglected them, which is painful. The most painful thing was finding an order slip for tickets to a school play my daughter had filled out. I never saw this, we never went to the play, she probably asked me for the money and I probably said, “No, I don’t have it.”
Thank you! I easily got rid of about 50% of my stuff, then hit a wall a few months ago and the letting go of literal things became a slow trickle and was frustrating. 16 minutes into the video, I popped over to Anna's website and started the daily practices. I appreciate the very specific phrases and structure of the writing exercise, and that it gets torn up. The next 7 days are going to be very interesting.
This is such an important conversation. I have been watching both of you for quite some time, and have grown daily in my appreciation of each of you. Just listening to ‘concepts’ gives me hope … it’s akin to going to church! I believe each of you are anointed by God to do this very special, important work!! God bless you both for surrendering you lives to it ❣️
While it is, I imagine, potentially helpful for the guest to share some practical strategies in order for people to manage some aspects of trauma in their daily lives, it' s also important to avoid broad generalizations about counseling and psychologists based on her very negative, unhelpful experience with one of them. Psychologists are not all trained in the same way and program reputation is important. In addition, the client-therapist fit is always an issue. I fear that dismissive comments about psychological, evidence-based therapy can do just as much potential harm as can bad therapy, which it sounds like she has experienced. A good discussion about the benefits if decluttering to give us all the mental space to tackle bigger issues. 😊
Agree completely with the clutter link to trauma! Listening to this has made me understand my mom, grandmother and several siblings and their clutter compulsions so much better. There used to be a show in the UK called "Life Laundry" where they addressed severe hoarding situations and the common issue with all of these people was there had been a serious traumatic experience that triggered the behavior. Very interesting subject!
It's true that those factors can lead to garbage and clutter in homeless camps but some of the main issues are that they are running a community full of profoundly disabled people who have no garbage service, no money to buy supplies, and no way to transport or dump garbage, especially not in household quantities. Portland tried to provide dumpsters but business owners would fill them up at night. There's nowhere to put the camp garbage and they don't have trucks, some can't walk or can hardly walk at all. A lot of people have bike trailers or wagons but they would be damaged by food garbage and again there is nowhere safe to put it. They will be fined or jailed for dumping. When they get out of jail all their stuff will be gone. They are constantly harassed and threatened
Oh my goodness!!! Two of my very favorite RU-vidrs together with so many amazing insights in how to deal with ME, my clutter, my trauma, etc.!!! I love you guys! Thank you so much for your support and insights helping me along my path to healing. Both of your channels are such a blessing to me, and then mentioning Huberman on top of it all!?!? YESSS Ohhh my goodness, now if you team up with “how to ADHD” and Laura Doyle /the empowered wife helping me get on my own page and deal with MY clutter rather than resenting my husband for HIS…I might just get this all figured out!😂 Thank you thank you thank you
After my grandmother passed away (whom I was very close to), my house was a mess for two years afterwards. It didn’t bother my husband at all (of course), but sometimes I’m glad about that because I wasn’t emotionally able to keep up with the house, and him being upset with it would’ve made me feel even worse. After two years, I started in on cleaning and organizing and decluttering things, and I started to feel more like myself again. And deal with depression on a regular basis, and always have, but you could really tell it in our house by the way it looked for those two years.
I'm old school. Stop. Talking. Start. Doing. Blame nobody give nobody power over you. Be free and take the reins of your own life. Because you are so worth it!
Oh how I love this video! I have a loved one that is going to benefit in every way from this video! Thank you Dawn for all your wonderful content. I always love your interviews with others.
Been through it all. Totally agree with you. What a farce. For me, seeking God through His Son Jesus helped me the most after all, not anything secular. I've experienced healing with most all my mental and emotional issues from my past. There's always lingering things, but more easily addressable once you know where your strength comes from.
I love your podcast so much! I almost didn't listen to this episode because I thought that it wouldn't apply to me because I haven't gone through any terrible trauma, but I'm so glad I decided to listen. I'm really looking forward to following her channel and taking her free course. I feel like this practice of writing your feelings down in this way can be helpful to anyone! Thanks so much for sharing this message ❤
Dawn - this is a wonderful podcast! - especially as a follow up to what we were all doing last Saturday during your Take Your House Back day! I hope your immensely helpful programs continue to reach others and expand our understanding of finding the light in our own lives through decluttering! Thank you for introducing us to Anna! ❤
If you have clutter that is a yoke around your neck and you feel trapped in quicksand by it and you don't know why, it's probably trauma. Start by giving yourself the kindness and compassion you would give a friend.
This was a blessing to come upon. I identify with this lady in many respects and I am blessed and encouraged by witnessing the grace she has navigated and overcome tremendous trauma. I treasure that she acknowledges how God was on her journey all along!❤
You are an awesome woman, both actually, and the talk was brilliant. I enjoyed it until I heard "including women who are hiding in their basement from Pakistan" at the very end. Now I understand that you were most likely trying to be inclusive, but it honestly sounds patronising and superior, because it hints at the image of all Pakistani women being brutally oppressed and all Pakistani men are horrible abusers. You are doing the most wonderful work in the world, and just listening to this chat has been very helpful. Please know that I am really grateful to you and your work, and I ask you to just be mindful of minor mistakes like this one. Lots of love to you both ❤
This interview was a little concerning- not from the content or its value, but from Anna’s attitude towards therapists and the field. The content accurately covered many principles, terminology, and understandings rooted in the ever evolving and growing field of psychology while being dismissive of those that make this their life’s work. To be in the room connecting to and holding space for those with trauma wounds and help tailor a path for their healing based on attuning to the complexity of their life story. This kind of language toward therapeutic work can be very harmful to a wide audience who clearly seek help and may doubt a choice to be supported through individual or group work with a licensed professional. People unlicensed who are called to work in helping others of course can have just as valuable skills, information, and lived experience- but there’s no need to bash or dismiss those that opted for a license to be able to legally and ethically be connected to individuals for mental health care. Often those in the psychology field have found themselves there from their own personal healing from trauma and the hope that brings for reaching others.
I lost my dad very suddenly when I was 18. Since then I have hoarded every piece of my childhood that I could. I also have things that tie to different family members due to loss or the fear of loss. I have kept almost half of the kids baby close and am trying to slowly let them go. I want to get a quilt or bear made with my favorite outfits of theirs.
Wonderful video. Thank you both for sharing. We all touch lives and many times we don't know how. This video touched my life in a positive way. Thank you. I hope I can pass some of these positive things along. "I came through" she said. That reminded me of one of my childhood theme songs. "I made it through the rain". Lots of "stuff" is under my belt but I came through, I made it through the rain with the help of my dad, other family members and some positive friends. Great video ladies! I will check Anna's channel out. Thank you, Dawn!
