Codependency Recovery Stages: What Healing Yourself Looks Like 

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Some great reminders here Michelle. For me it was setting boundaries and detaching from toxic relationships, even family ones. Important to look at our childhood and see where those behaviours originated.

In the midst of a divorce that turned high conflict three weeks ago. I was able to see the insanity of my codependency for the first time because I spent a whole day thinking about how to help my spouse after he treated me horribly a few days before. Been to 3 coda meetings now. Thanks for this series. Excellent clear and concise information.

I'm getting better at identifying where I don't trust myself, pairing that with relying on my intuition to guide me. I am also focusing on not running away or cutting ties when conflict arises in building my relationship skills.

CODA was step one. Awareness that I was not alone. Is this a Codependent thought? is always in my mind

Thanks michelle. Life is getting better already. Getting out having fun keeping busy trying new things and meeting new people has done wonders for me and making yourself titanium.

Hi Michelle - I've been in therapy for about 4 mos and my last session is next week. If I'm being 100% honest, I've gotten way more out of your videos in the last 2 days than I have in 4 mos of therapy. I think it's because you're a recovering and I can relate to everything you are saying. So my recovery looks like: 1) Listening to at least 1-2 of your videos a day (and replaying them more than once) and I have a "Be Amazing" Journal that my BF gave me last year for my 55th birthday...I broke it out and am dedicating this entire journal to my "Codependency Recovery" by jotting down feelings and notes from your Videos; 2) Daily talks with 1 of my friends who is a recovering herself; 3) Finally dedicating 1 hour/day to ME...something I've never done before....Ending my day with an hour of ME time....whether its meditating, reading the Bible, watching one of your videos or watching a Hallmark Christmas Movie....it's all about ME at the end of every day! I'm enjoying this journey so much so far (2 days in) because of YOU. Thank you so much!

Michelle You are helpful your face gives me comfort Am I codependent on you? Big fan and a little humor too ❤

Thank you so much for your work. I'm sitting in bed on a stormy morning in the west of Ireland, listening avidly and taking notes. Been following your work on and off for some time now through your emails and though I do check out sometimes due to overwhelm at the amount of content I've signed up to (a trap many of us fall into, I think), I have printed out and completed your relationship checklist back a long time ago, and value your work so much. Thank you. I am on the long journey of recovery from a lot of neglect and abuse which started most viscerally with my mother who got so damaged that she bred 6 children over many men into very unsafe, unstable, toxic environments. It's hard because I don't know how to find spaces to say what I need to release because I worry that it's simply too heavy and would affect others, even though I'm not completely messed up or anything. I just always feared that pity card or weirdo card or damaged card. I've been actively working on my stuff for a long time, but v intensely since a family member/abuser committed suicide 5 or so years back. I dove deep into trying to learn about trauma and it was hard but so helpful. And then last year felt like for first time I really heard the term codependency and how it could relate to me. Listened to an audio book in 24hrs on the topic and never had anything describe my behaviours so aptly. Learning this has helped me break out of an unhealthy copdependent relationship which I'm very grateful for, though I still feel the weird pull of attachment, wanting to keep the link so that nobody will hate me. Fearing how much I opened up and shared with them and afraid to cut the tie as I don't want them to feel the truth, that they are not good for me because I'm learning but still haven't managed to solidify some boundaries that they know they can overstep. Also because they have addiction issues and don't seem ready to face their own traumas, behaviours, demons. I have this dynamic in many relationships and I suppose the fact I can see it now is a great step! I'm stuck on feeling everyone deserves to be loved and trying to break the pattern of a lifetime where I was more 'unconditional love' than an actual person. Sounds strange but I can see it clearly sometimes. It's how I grew to believe my love was toxic, almost because it was too pure. People saw my essence and saw that I wouldn't make them suffer i.e. Face their own shit without dumping it on me and entwining me into the toxicity of their choices. But although I am so smart intellectually, emotionally I was so damaged from so many directions for so long that it gets confusing. For me, and others. To be able to articulate and understand, but then slip into the same dynamics so seemlessly and silently if I'm not on top gaurd. And feck, this takes a lot of energy when you're also trying to make money to survive, while simultaneously working for my future self who I believe can thrive. Its hard. But its worth it. I'm doing it. But I get so tired, overwhelmed and in need of support sometimes. It's coming. I can feel it. I just need to keep showing up. Anyways, thank you for your work, again. You are helping people.

Hey Michelle I found you on recent Avaiya course. You are incredibly helpful - clear and simple 💕💕Telling a codependent lists of what they are doing wrong is a mission to nowhere. Ive been in the recovery groups. I've learnt alot about narcissist personalities and narcissist families lately. They are deeply damaging. I have complex trauma and haven't found any counsellors particularly helpful with mine. I live in Dunedin NZ so it's limited - US is way ahead of us. My recovery from codependency is on a roll with your videos popping up every day. Looking at childhood pain can be so excruciating but I am doing a daily meditation (by Misa Hopkins called the holding) and it is helping me to identify and claim my feelings and sit with them. Also praying to God the Father and going to church - it seems that the meditation and the prayer is like mother and father relationships respectively. I was programmed wrong by my mum and my dad. So no. 5 relationships is where I get badly triggered - for me it's big trauma reactions to little trauma triggers. A humiliating life indeed. Finally I am ready to understand boundaries. Thankyou Michelle I am loving your help and regular appearance on my utube notifications 💕💕💕💕💕💕

I've recognized from the beginning that this is a result of my childhood and watching 2 codependent/alcoholic parents battle 3x/week when they were drinking....and more alarming, staying IN the toxic marriage. It has taught both me (and my twin sister) that you should STAY in toxic relationships.

Thanks for sharing these tips. Super helpful. ❤

I never realized till now that I was co-dependent and now with the awareness am reading to do something about it.

Great video, I'm so glad that you shared this.

Thanks Michelle - super helpful and clear. Hope all is well your end.

Hello ! Thank you for this video.

My recovery is prayer, bible reading, prayer journal writing, and writing in journals about how I'm feeling and why and what I can take from everything ive done that has helped me. Its been helping but I know I need more help. I juat started recovery.

Recovery is a lifetime project for me...

Thank you. ❤

Great video! I passed it in to a friend.

I have been working on early childhood trauma. I am very codependence I have always been people pleaser. A giver never been a taker.

I want to have a healthy relationship in my life. I realize after my last relationship I am codependent and it is causing issues in my relationships w friends family as well as romantic partners..every aspect of my life is effected

Hello, thank you for making this video! I think I was able to get more clear about my situation and what to do next in order to be more healthy. At the moment I help myself with watching YT videos, journaling, and going to therapy. I did coaching too in the past. I want to try to work through my childhood asap. Nevertheless, I feel like I often times look away and choose to not face my problems. Many times I wish I was stronger to face them and be more disciplined and motivated to learn about codependency and everything else I struggle with. I think it must be that I don't want to take responsibility for myself? Do you have any advice for me?

I never realized till now that I am codependent and that it has been effecting my relationships. I am ready to take action. I could use the name of a good therapist. Any suggestions, Michelle?

I searched of AI-Anon in my country and there is an existing group, but it seems to be for alcoholics. Do you think this will be a helpful place for me to visit?

❤

My why? Stop being dependent on others for my daily needs and believe in myself that I can Trust myself and True Source and stop throwing my power over and over again.

Unfortunately I’m not having much luck with your Apple Pay option… to be able to sign up for a few things. 😢

I need all recovery

I can't find a support group yet. I live abroad and I would like some help. Right now my recovery looks like lots of meditation practices, some journaling, exercising, also eastern practices like chi walking, shaking... and so much music.

Why? Improve my relationship mojo.

How do you develop your intuition?

Just wanna add for any Christians that may see this theres also celebrate recovery❤ a christian based 12 step

Trusting other people more than themselves. Yikes.