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I am a 49 year adult that has an ADD brain (found out at age 45). This video has helped me comprehend more of my shortcomings from having this style of brain...thank you. I will watch this at least five more times to help change my negative thinking patterns.
@Krishna Patel thanks for letting us know about that culture. I’m certain it is in a lot of other oppressed cultures too and most likely it was to protect the children from extermination by the controllers don’t you think?
Wow... I am 49 too and I am still not sure what I have...too much thinking and emotions....now I am looking for videos since family and friends got overwhelmed with my drama....I wonder if I should be numbed for the sake of ny 2 boys
This is wonderful. I suffer from a general anxiety disorder and from panic attacks, but I have also been diagnosed with depression and having these posts to listen to has been helpful. I am grateful, Dr. Snipes.
I’m a new therapist and though I’ve discussed cognitive distortions with clients this really has helped me a lot so much more than you’ll ever know. I truly feel like I have the imposter syndrome but it’s nice to be able to learn from this platform. Thank you so much fir this.
One of the most important things l've learnt over the years, is that most of the way people behave towards me isn't personal. If someone is rude to me,it's not because they dislike me/are unhappy with me but because the are unhappy with other things in life. They slept badly, got up late,missed breakfast, car wouldn't start,it's raining,they need a holiday. This is definitely something young people don't yet understand,but should be taught
Great video. We have to be careful what we feed our mind. To feel better reduce negative thoughts and overthinking. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed, avoid moving too much and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, in college, in the kitchen, at work, taking a walk, when reading, etc.etc. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
I never realized how much I hold my breath until I experienced trauma in my adulthood. I think it's anxiety. When I become conscious of it, I inhale deeply.
This was an excellent presentation Dr S. So many of us brought up in neglectful and abusive households married into identical situations w husbands and their families. I can certainly vouch that I adopted this distorted thinking. That catastrophic thinking when something negative happens. When I'm finally able to stop and realize the self-awareness, I realize oh my god, this is my mother's thinking. Or this is my ex-husband's thinking. This isn't even my own thoughts. I then try to rearrange the thoughts, and continue forward on my healing journey. It's incredible how much of society has been so damaged and indoctrinated by parents and partners that have absolutely no relationship competency, let alone effective communication or conflict resolution. Thank you again for another excellent presentation. I learn so much through your education.
It blows your mind once you start healing and notice how a big chunk of society is living upside down right? Hopefully, more and more people will learn about how their minds work so they can overcome their generational trauma.
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This was awesome, thanks for giving these lessons. I am learning to use new coping skills all the time not the I have become sober. I only have 5 month clean and these are helpful.
This is great!! Be proud of all your changes, accept that they are apart of you no matter how big or how small. Try not to measure them but cherish them! Especially if they are a step in into the right direction. We have to think about what we are trying to achieve and reflex on how we are treating ourselves, the expectation we put in ourselves, the self sabotaging ways we treat ourselves, and try and stay in a space of recognizing that the down playing of our own lives isn't helping us, and could very well be the part of the reasons why we are in this space seeking change, orwhat got us were we are and not were we want to be. Hense the very reason we are making a choice to actively do the work we are doing in this moment. Working so damn hard, to let the old being die so a new better version can be rebirth into this world, the right way, in the right direction, with the inner knowing and joy and happiness that we can have.what we need to succeed and not fear or tear down. That there is hope! A possibility, a chance for us to be more than we ever dreamed. Because we are letting go of that old being and embracing, loving, nurching, mothering, accepting, protecting, believing in the new☺️🤷🏾♀️. I hope that makes sense. If not I apologize. I think where you are is 5 months closer to embracing/embodying you than you were before!! And that's no easy task!! Not for me anyways. And not to mention the constant FIGHT you have to be in to get as far as you come ...pheeww! Jump up and down and hug yourself and say thank you, I appreciate you, your doing a great job. Then be still and see if you can feel the muscles in your jaw area shift 😄🤭. Best of Self-Care, Self-Aware, Self-Recognition, Self-Compassion, Self-Love to you! God Bless ✨
I can relate with Egocentrism : ' My perspective is the only perspective.' This challenges most families, especially where there is a favorite child in the family. Thank you for an elaborative video on personalities and behavior.
Thank you for this wonderful information. This lecture can be a great tool for many including me. Yes, one can get fired for no reason. In California, there is something called At Will employment. One can be fired with absolutely no warnings at all. If one's boss is having a bad day, doesn't like an employee or is intimidated by that employee's incredibly good work ethic or work quality, the boss can fire them. No notice, processes or warnings are required. This happened to me.
That is so true. Very often we do not get the appropriate positive affirmation or positive stroke that we needed at that moment in time. I would like to say for example "Congratulations Elise, now your Dr. Elise that's a major accomplishment for you. I am so proud and happy for your achievement"🤗🙏
Only watched about 25% of this video so far, and it's been so very helpful. I am very grateful for your videos and will be so grateful to see more of them. Thank you for putting so much time and attention and devotion into these videos, you are an angel. I am a survivor of an old, severe TBI, and I'm still waiting and wondering why, my primary medical care person continues to try to avoid acknowledging it, much less looking into it.... 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭
Perhaps an Osteopathic Physician? osteopathic.org/what-is-osteopathic-medicine/ I have found them a little more attuned to the whole person. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@@DocSnipes The list of distortions at 4:35 first of all, that's exactly how my mind reacts to things. It has become an ingrained belief system that is difficult to get past. Trying to get past it feels like convincing yourself that the law of gravity doesn't exist.
Learning about cognitive distortions a few years back helped me change the way I approached my work as a critical care nurse.... Prior to this work I was a hospice nurse and fallacy of fairness was exposed in me daily. Its shocking how covert it can be. I think cognitive distortions is a good launching point for learning how to understand that we dont have to believe everything our minds say. I think that is another cognitive distortion people have is that they believe or trust every initial inclination their mind tells them about themselves and others. If you can get people to question that reality can break through....oh just saw its named lol....mindreading
Thanks for the well articulated presentation. Cognitive distortions are important to mental distress, however in CBT we do not work with them in an appropriate way. Identifying thinking styles and applying them to thoughts is unhelpful. This can turn out to be more of a coping strategy. With the General Meta Formulation, we look at the beliefs behind thinking styles or the positive beliefs about thinking styles, for example beliefs about mind reading; beliefs behind catastrophic thinking; beliefs about should statements. Belief about mind reading: “if I think about what they are thinking, I will be able to find out if they think I am a loser”.
You mention fight or flight, maybe freeze. Fawning is also something I realized I was doing. Didn’t realize it had a name, and spent a lot of time berating myself for it after noting the behavior. Also noticed fawning could precede freeze, fight,or flight (or sometimes in sequence - as the emotional attacks continued). Working hard on learning from mistakes rather than criticizing self. ☺️
WOW!!! I have only just found your talks and they are such an inspiration and also a relief as they are giving me such understanding and clarity to things I haven’t really understood for nearly 20 years. I have just had a major depressive episode only 7 days ago which coencided exactly with my relationship breakup… I am being tested for bipolar disorder and have started CBT and talking to a counsellor and your talks are genuinely making a difference.. thank you
10:21 cracked me up, I say the same things about my very intelligent son when he totally ignores me im all in my head thinking "oh it's because he's gifted and he gets bored easy" not that he's a butthead who needs to pay attention to others sometimes 🤣🤣🤣. Mom's ❤️❤️❤️😀😘
This is my son to a T. Poor little guy's only 7. I'm glad to know I already understood it, and have been using helpful tools. I do need to work on my patience, though. But at least I'm glad I understand the problem, and my own shortcomings.
Usually our impatience is rooted in subconscious programming, core wounds, and our own cognitive distortions. When we think we “should” or our child “should” do or know something…we can get impatient. “Should” narratives are rooted in limiting beliefs. They cause stress for ourselves and others. The way you respond to your son will set the template to how he sees himself, attachment theory…so it’s good you are aware. We can consciously want to be more patient, but if we don’t address our subconscious…the behavior will continue. Our conscious mind only affects about 5% of our behavior and the subconscious runs the majority at around 95%! That’s why we can “know” something, but struggle to implement it. Our subconscious pays no attention to the conscious mind, it does it’s own thing, is very powerful and has deeply entrenched programs. It wants needs for safety, certainty, etc met right now and will use old-outdated ways of getting needs met…until we reprogram. If we don’t heal our attachment style, we can pass on some dysfunctional patterns to our children. I’m a grandparent…and it’s hard to look back, especially with my oldest when I had no clue about any of this stuff. Had no idea how trauma had impacted me and my attachment style. There’s hope though. The most powerful thing we can do is heal and live in a transformational and empowered way.
An excellent presentation. I plan to use this knowledge throughout Psych grad school working on my masters. I plan to pursue a Ph.D. in Clinical psychology afterward. and throughout life very informative.
I’m so elated to discover this channel, and know how I immediately subscribed to this very informative UTube group! I’m so anxious to see the next video
It is like Buddha's teachings! Bless you for this HUGE WORK! (I know it is not an effort for the Master but a big help for -everybody- ... sorry most of us :D ! )
Cognitive distortions often seen in personality disorders. Feelings are not facts. Thats a tough one to get through and work on in the cluster b group. Being aware and present ( mindfullness w/o catastrophication) will make life easier. Not everyone will accept you. You can't please everyone.
Doc Snipes, I’m so sorry that my finger hit dislike instead of like. I’ve tried to correct it, but it won’t let me. Again, I’m so sorry. I love your videos! They help me so much! ! 😍
30:14- Joe is a pilot. He has girlfriend, Jane. Joe also has a boat and loves to go boating and sailing. Jane is terrified of water. Joe has a private plane and has been flying around with Jane for about a year or so. The weekend before Jane had agreed to go sailing but bailed because she really did not want to be out in the water. A thought popped into Joe's head when they were flying. Joe: Jane? Jane: Yes? Joe: Do you know why you are so afraid of water? Jane: Yes, I can't swim and even if I could the water is just too deep and I would drown and die. Joe: I was wondering because we are way up in the air? Do you have wings? If not, chances are if something goes wrong we will both go splat. of course this could have caused jane to add a phobia so it is not something one should say, but it did make Jane think and Jane loves sailing and flying now....lol
@@debbiesunlight7047 it made perfect sense to me … it’s how I was able to ride an airplane for the first time, ever, without anxiety the first time and since, to this day. .
Hi Dr. Snipes!!! Amazing video!!!! I was wondering if when the nurse practitioner gave me the lexapro that I requested, another Doctor in the clinic said that only a Psychiatrist was allowed to prescribe medication for me! I believe that I have a unhealthy relationship with food and my inner child! As a young child at three, I remember my dad telling my mom to cut the fat off of the meat and to throw away the fat! Although, my dad always complaining about when he was a young boy, she was a terrible cook who didn’t ever have a job in her life! He resented grandma for not working! Grandpa wouldn’t let grandma drive the car or dye her hair. Grandpa was eleven years older than grandma, so he didn’t want to look too much older than her! Grandpa always exercised every night before bedtime! However grandpa was a colonel in the Army and he was in the CIA speaking nine languages fluently. He graduated from NYU with a PhD. We really adored him very much!!!😎🐶🍶🎂🍺🍰🍜🥟🍣🍱🐣🧁🍩🍡🍜🍣🍱🍤🐣
Fear of not. being as important as as everybody in the ROOM., OR IN the same auto mobile. Her needs & feelings for her personal HEALTH & SAFETY is NOT as VALUED/Cherished/important to deserve RESPECT, REGARDS. for her Health & WELL-BEING. Her Best interest.( She has many Allergies year around. 🌹👌🏆💙💛🌹😃👍 C.J. is the best all around! A beautiful alien person!!!". Adorable!!!! C.J. !!!💜💙💛💙🏆( alien resident!!! Tooo many years of disregards for this important woman. She's had a Enough. 🏆🔑🏆👍🌹
She has had ENOUGH disregards from egotistical neighbors." Time to change & show greater" SELF-RESPECT!""SELF-Safety! " "I guess." She has every RIGHT to protect her PERSONAL HEALTH". 🔑🔑🔑🔬💡🌹💜💙💛💙💖🌹👍🏆🏆🏆🏆
I remember when I was a kid, my grandfather was late picking us up! I was extremely hungry, so I made a lot of food! My mom came over to tell my grandma and grandpa that I made food then she showed him the food that I cooked! Well, why didn’t she feed me when I was hungry? She was nineteen but, she really didn’t know how to be a good mother at all! She let my brother crawl across a very busy street and a lady picked up my baby brother, handed him to my mother and scolded her for letting him cross the street putting his life in extreme danger!
If you've had yrs of cascading, really bad outcomes( loss of health, loss of income, loss of friends, loss of child's love, anything you try to make your life better doesn't work)wouldn't it be normal not to trust that anything good will happen for you?
My supervisor thought this way. I was having a problem making a calculator work to a certain outcome. I said that the setting could have been to round up a certain way. She said, “It’s not the calculator, it’s the user.” She was sarcastic and snarky on a regular basis. My mother slapped that out of me when I was growing up until I wasn’t, and I began to feel the same way toward this supervisor. I literally wanted to go over and smack her mouth as hard as I could. I had to leave that situation.
Create. Develop a PICTURE OF YOUR HAPPY PLACE TO GO TO" when experiencing something TRAUMATIC" scary! Frightening! Get free & feel CONFIDENT" imagine! Safety!!! & Feeling happy 😃🏆Winning feelings!!!🏆💛💙🏆💜💙🏆👍I can cope! 👍🌹💜💙
I grew up in extreme discipline, I call it prison camp. My sister was abandoned when I was 1.5. Mom was quite resentful. I have trie tried psychoanalysis, dbt, group and individual therapy. I must respectfully disagree, as I don't have a choice in how I feel. I was trained such that every phone notification, every knock on the door, every car in the driveway, every time someone call my name, my process and perception go thru fear pathway. I cannot change this no matter how hard I work. My base code IS fear. Please take care of the children. Society will not get better until we do.
You might want to research the Stella method that, apparently, has worked for many with FEAR controlling us before we can even think of how to react or not to react. I have not tried it but it has worked with soldiers who had NO LIFE because of PTSD. It is now available to civilians. Just a thought! Wishing you well! I went through a war at age 9 and still have many panic attacks and fears that sometimes try to overcome me. Good luck and don't give up...you are not alone!👍
I believe that my mom was so checked out, that I had to change my own diaper! As a kid, I remember her always getting stopped by the police for her bad driving skills! She was nineteen and from Korea! There roads are very different! I was terrified when the police questioned my mother’s driving skills and she would get lectured! I believed that she was going to be taken away from me by the police for driving and making little mistakes!😂❤
When a manager says,I am so tired of hearing how good she is and then starts a campaign and harassing you to the point of you getting fired because no one wants to work with you. How many times does someone get fired from how many jobs before you ask for therapy? Why is this happening, please help.
Now I know how Tony Soprano felt sitting in Dr. Melfi office. On a serious note I just found out how broken my brain is and hope I can fix it with your videos.
As a teacher, egocentrism is a trap I must continually strive to avoid. On the subject matter of my class, I am vastly more knowledgeable than anyone else in the room. What use would I be as a teacher if I didn't? Knowing this danger, and having dealt with many hyperego teachers myself, I made it a personal goal to not become that unbearable hyperego teacher. I freely admit that I have not always succeeded. But I will always keep trying and requesting students call me out if I cross the line. To any college student who reads this: If you have one of the vindictive asshole teachers that would retaliatlte in some way should you call them out on their crap, the department chair does read the evaluations student submit about their teachers at the end of the semester.
I like this video but my question is how do you get someone that has escalated the situation to the level of wanting to put their first through somebody's teeth to get back down to a level so they can even think of the ABCs cause I just don't see them doing it at that level of pist offense without someone helping them recognize where they are at in the moment.
☺️ thank you for your videos ... you did a great job explaining... Dysfunction raising dysfunction to me is insanity however the perspective of learning tools as you grow ... I try challenge myself every day ... optimist however as I reflect on how my optimism can be grandeur .. working on balance (lol) .. open minded and positive . I'm always looking for solutions make it better..my question is my teenage is a pessimist one of his many his defense mechanism
I'm struggling with communication we seem to have a one side conversations Perhaps he just wanted to me to listen .. how ever I'm excitable and I thinking solutions .. it seems to snowball he's intense i get emotional (sentive ) however it's created a sense insanity .. seems like a no win situation .. eventually we regroup and sometimes we get solutions... I recognize my short comings ...it becoming anxiety and insanity
My mind thinking with bipolar an depressive disorder .my mind thinking started when I was rapped violence an mental abuse. I want to heal the child I don't remember anything from as a child from a so called step dad. I hated him I know my research. An help from you an your teachings.
And what if these thought were engraved and reinforced throughout childhood, Teenage years, early adulthood? Until disconnect from toxic family members? I.e. narcissist parents?
Sadly, not everyone has emotional intelligence. We are nit born with it. You can develop it, though. Thank you for watching the video. How will you use the information provided to address cognitive distortions?
I've been telling myself a different story for years and it's not working anymore. Now I'm just hurt and good at my outside self but really stinking with my inside self. Oh well.
@Angel Child - being aware of your outside and inside self is the first step on the road to healing and recovery. Be kind to yourself and start loving yourself and soon things will start changing. Try positive affirmations and guided hypnotherapy to uncover the cause and find resources to help you change your inner self through reparenting videos.🙏
There is no distortions here only seeing people as they are. What I have suffered from for the last 5 yrs is being stalked by a narcissistic buffoon and his entourage that thinks that it's okay to harass the innocent. So cognitive distortion is the wrong term in my case. And it. Is difficult at times to be positive when you had to learn to re-adjust your mind to think in a negative way when you have always been a person who sees the glass half full instead of empty. Because someone who has negative and dark ideas wants to impose them on you. The funny thing is they have no clue that their thinking and lifestyle is negative. But they want to impose that on you. The energy is negative the ideas are exploiting that some people bring into the worlds of others. And that can many times be a drag on that person that has allowed that encounter. I see much but distortion it is not!!!
You may want to look for a local, licensed professional counselor. -You can find other therapists via Psychology Today search: allceus.com/Psychology_Today_Therapist_Search -If you are in crisis, there is a national Suicide Hotline available at: allceus.com/Suicide_Prevention_Lifeline -There is a Domestic Violence hotline at: allceus.com/Domestic_Violence_Hotline OR Dial 911 for assistance in the U.S. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Tim Tebow, How are you now? Be careful what you feed your mind. To feel better reduce negative thoughts and overthinking. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed, avoid moving too much and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, in college, at work, taking a walk, when reading, etc.etc. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
@@DocSnipes Thank you so much for asking. I'm incapacitated. I'm afraid. I destroyed my computer for fear that they put something illegal on it. I'm just really afraid. I'm confused. They've broken me. I keep playing the video back in my mind and noticing how manipulative they are being and scrutinizing how they are lying and being fake. Every sentence is a lie or posed in a way that would make someone on the outside, looking in, potentially believe a false narrative. I'm an awesome person. I'm proud to be who I am and my own family literally hates me for it. I literally need a family to help me fight against my family. I'm having dark thoughts and nightmares. I've been eating secretly and only from cans for a long time now for fear that they'll poison me again.
@@timtebow4516 Once your mind and body is under your control life is fun. Since many years I have made it a habit to observe my breath sensations even during my normal activities and I am feeling relaxed and healthy. Anywhere-anytime it can be done. The best part is nobody comes to know that you are doing the breath observing practice as there is no deep breathing or sound. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Read my msg and do the practice regularly. Best wishes. Sr. Counsellor.
Have you heard of waterfall texting? What does that mean? My narcissistic father has an evil wife who is now my step mother and now I feel like a Korean/American Cinderella!
