This was ME 100% as a teenager. Everything popular was “stupid” to me and I hated it. Even though I LOVED pop singers, the color pink, glitter, etc. … since every other girl loved it in my social circle and my mom would buy me things like that, I completely rejected it and would instead wear black clothes with weird art or skulls on it.
Wow. This is so relatable that I am feeling intense anxiety with all of your examples. I just want to turn this off, but I turned down the volume a lot instead. I had no idea that this was a thing. People just assumed I was crazy, controlling, stubborn, rebellious,, and demanding. This has affected every part of my life involving other people. I am not to the point of feeling excited about learning this, but it does make a lot of sense.
For really good understanding i would suggest reading PDA by PDAers Compiled by Sally Cat book ...👍 also core of PDA is keeping your autonomy. I need options not demands,expectations
I did see you mention PDA on your social media, but didn't understand the scope of it until now. The 'rebellious' behaviour aspect of it is a good context to know for how some people behave. I was wondering though: How do PDA and fawning behaviour intersect? Do they collide, or are the triggered by different situations?
What a great question! I suppose they both collide because both are responses to perceived demands. Situations where anxiety is triggered could see those who have PDA perform in fawning behaviour as a coping mechanism. Just depends on the person ☺️
My experiences were not in line with yours. I have always gone out of my way to reject demands and any hierarchy. I didn't have meltdowns, I just didn't do anything that was asked and had to take a considerable amount of discipline that didn't make any changes in how the situation was approached next time.
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