I bet you also hate your job? Its because ironically enough fostering deeper relationships at work requires a more organic, hands off approach. Youre right - anyone that actively youts it has no idea what they're talking about in terms of relationships. But look for one that doesnt really SAYit, but you see it in the way employees and bosses treat each other - like their attitudes when profit is low (or nonexistant). Thatll say a LOT more about the dynamic than anyone could hype it
👏👏👏👏 yep Iven been called anti-Social, weirdo, who’s the new guy etc. people wonder why I’m not sociable at work .....the funny thing is I’ve seen lots of older people act too like high school bitches who stab your back the minute they have a chance and they wonder why I keep it to myself. Bro I’m here to work and get my check, you need a friend go to your family or get a dog.
I work in healthcare. After the Katrina disaster where some nursing homes in the area were abandoned leaving the residents behind After that they tried to get everyone to sign a legal document saying that in a disaster you would stay at your job and/ or come in if needed. My thought was if your family is in peril who is gonna say, "sorry family, I signed a document". It's harsh, but its the reality.
Not nessecarily. Having boundaries doesnt mean thry dhouldnt care about you and what you want for your life! This is the kind of misguided view that perpetuates toxic office and ceo culture of exploitation (long hours, no benefits/overtime, lowering wages) ...
I unfortunately learnt the hard way that coworkers are just coworkers, not family, not friends. Got burned a few times before I learnt how to put on a perfectly professional persona for the office.
This whole were a family thing is a way to make you let your guard down, create a fake connection, and use this emotional attachment to inflict pain on you.
Anyway you look at it it's manipulation and nothing more... what do you mean you can't work on weekends or after hours for no extra pay? We are family, don't you do favours for your family?
I never realized until Covid/work from home how I spent every workday of my life tolerating people. That’s all it was. Not friendship or liking, just tolerating.
Exactly. I have aspergers so socializing is hard for me and I also have sensory issues so when people spray things it can trigger a melt down. When I was in an office I often ate lunch alone because my coworkers would conveniently have no room for me at their table. My polite requests for people not to spray body sprays or air fresheners around me fell on deaf ears even though we weren't suppose to because people have azmatha. I love working from home because I don't have to deal with that.
Same here. Working from home during the pandemic made me realize that I do so much better when I am working from home, in my own element. I get more done, don’t have to listen to silly chit chat, and have fewer distractions. It also allows me to spend more time on my side hustle.
Absolutely! I have worked with groups that call themselves “like a family”, but in the next breath, they will spread gossip and spill something that was shared with them in confidence 😳 It’s like a cult. If this is how they treat their “work family,” imagine how dysfunctional their actual family is!
Saying you're like a family might be totally geniune... or it can be grooming behavior so people accept the toxic behavior that is enabled. Glad you're writing in past tense, because I hope that means you escaped!
I used the term "cult" in my reply too. I think it's right on the mark. When people don't go looking for cults to join, the cults go looking for them wherever they are held captive by the system. Daily wage laborers are captives of a sort in their workplaces for eight hours, more or less, every day.
I have noticed these grooming behaviors in a past boss who micro managed me, even to the point of contacting and gossiping with non work friends at my church (I have since left behind that toxic church, but I can't leave my job because I have bills to pay and I can't afford to go back to grad school for another degree)
One of the major mistakes I have made so far, is that I considered my coworkers to be my friends, and I was open to them and overshared info about me. NO! Major mistake! No matter how lonely you might feel if the others "bond", try to be with a positive attitude but not quite "friendly". Do your job correctly and do not get carried away no matter what, stay focused and professional.
I was literally passed on a promotion because while everyone was working on puzzles, I stayed in my office and worked on things that need to get done. I was told this wasn't promoting fun, happiness and family unity. For the record, I work at a bank.
@Beyond Memory Old Movies tbh you should be friendly with your workers. If you’re only going in with a 100% mindset to work, but you’re a stick in the mud then no wonder
When I first entered the workplace, I decided early on to clearly separate my personal and professional life. I'm polite and friendly with my coworkers, but not deeply personal with them.
They just say that so you can open yourself and speak about your personal stuff. Not, me. Every time someone at work comes to me asking about my private life I immediately change subject.
I worked with a group of people for over 13 years and fell into this trap of thinking they were real friends ...after the company closed 3 years ago we have no contact.
I'm so proud of my boyfriend. He turns his phone off when he gets home, and on the weekends. Makes it perfectly clear that he will be only conducting business on the clock. Not at dinner time, not on the weekends, not at holidays, e t c... otherwise these freaking people have zero boundaries and will just take, and take, and take.
I keep my phone on silent because at my current job they will message and call at all hours if they need assistance because they know many of us work from home. Today is Sunday (one of my days off) and they wanted to have a team meeting and my quality (I work at a call center) messaged me to do coaching. I responded to neither.
Am currently experiencing a situation where a company is trying to woo me with the "we're a tight-knit family" dream. This video helps affirm my visceral reaction to this statement. I fell for this once, never again.
They say this at my job. Especially when they want money! But when I needed help, They did NOTHING! That's when I realized my work-family was just as TOXIC as my actual family; whom I walked away from FIVE YEARS ago! A job is just a job, nothing more. Coworkers are coworkers, nothing more. Go in, do your work, leave. That's all you owe your job.
I worked in an office where a few ladies would call themselves sisters and one of the younger ones referred to one as her work mom. I did not play that game and so I was on the outside. I remember one saying oh we can find you a part in our family. I just thought it was strange and really childish. They stuck together like glue and would play subtle games to exclude others. I am glad not to be working there anymore. I found it so toxic and stressful. Thanks for the video. Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way!
I was in a work group once where we jokingly referred to ourselves as a "family". A coworker and I were the same age and fresh out of college and one of the guys on the team had a daughter our age. He took us under his wing so we called him our work dad. The other team members were older childfree folks so they were the cool aunts and uncle. It was actually a great, fun atmosphere though, and the boss was very chill. Still miss that job.
Keep your professional life separate from your personal life. I don't talk about my private life with people at work. I am not there to make friends. I learned the hard way years ago.
@@monahassan805 my last employer liked to get everyone together for “Two Truths and a Lie.” I will not be participating in such intrusive activities again.
Another tactic was every Monday morning, the team meeting would start with the supervisor going around the table asking each person, “What did you do this weekend?” Not “how was” your weekend, but “what did you do.” I really didn’t care what everyone did on their weekends, and didn’t particularly care to discuss mine. But it was all in the name of bonding.
Fell into the same trap as you. Got furloughed a year into the job, and lost contact with all of my former colleagues in a matter of weeks. Coworkers are not your friends or family.
yeah true friends at work are rare as hens teeth. i worked at a few places but i couldn't trust them to just cover me when i had an appointment to attend.
Co wokers are NOT family and you should never mix business with pleasure...through evolution we had to learn that the hard way...never, ever date or mess around with a co-worker, never think of your co-worker as a family...and ALWAYS remember your co-worker is your competition, especially if the same gender! Also stay away from workplace gossip/rumors as that is a form of jealousy and can actually backfire on you later on if you partake in it or say anything bad...especially now when everyone audio records their day on their cell phone. It is a different world today, and now more than every you need to be extra careful!
@@adroitws1367 no company would advertise their workforce as dysfunctional. It was probably said as an inside joke by a senior member of staff trying to fck with the newbie
There’s a new hire at my job that started a couple of days ago and I know so much about her and she just started. She told me her credit score, how much she paid for her car, how’s she’s friends with her husband’s ex wife, how her step kid doesn’t like their mom, and so on and so ON. People who are super open like that so early on freak me out. They’re so chatty! I don’t share anything with people like that.
Rightly so! A lot of people aren't aware of professional boundaries. I had a coworker like yours who pulled me into hr because I was being "cold and unwelcoming". Given that I was already one foot out the door I decided to make up a boring "life" to share with her.
There are several at my work too. I know so much about them even though they didn't tell me directly because I could hear them talk from another room loudly... 🙄🙄 All of these 4 openly told everyone about their dysfunctional family relationship, personal relationship, financial hardship, drama in their lives... So oversharing...
I have a coworker like this. She’s in my direct “sub department “ which only consists of 6 of us, so I’m around her a lot. She literally tells me EVERYTHING about her life (difficulties with husband, her children’s medical issues, fights with her sister, money troubles). She has asked me for money, offers to take me out to lunch, and waits for me to clock out so she can walk to the parking lot with me. She’s a very nice lady but I think this all stems from the fact that she doesn’t have any friends outside of work. She once came back early from vacation because she “cares about her coworkers too much to let them drown in work.” I feel bad talking bad about her on here but I just think her lack of boundaries in the office is incredibly unprofessional and she’s quickly becoming a stage 5 clinger. Anyone have any advice on how to stop it gently??
Your co workers aren't your friends, They just happened to work the same job as you do. It isn't like you connected thru a special program, or some kind of social club setting. BUT I'm not sayinh you wont meet good intentioned people that get along with you. Just be careful of alot of them.
Coworkers are definitely not family or friends. There enemies in disguise. It’s ALWAYS best to keep your personal life separate from how you make a living.
I didnt know that the purpose of a family was to work together to generate profit for one person and be compensated a meager amount in the process. Hilarious
This whole idea of a work family just creates a toxic work environment. Everybody is always expected, to be nice and get along, and never argue. Which we know won't happen, because conflict is inherent in all relationships. Your boss is not going to treat you like family. So what happens after you leave because of a layoff or termination?? Your work family will fade to black everytime. I believe the most toxic place you will ever work at is the one where everyone there pretends to be your family. Don't get it twisted
I have been around the block a few times Jennifer. I am over 50 yrs old and I plan on retiring from work in a few years. I hope mine will be longer than my dad's
Yes, if you DEMAND people get along. Everyone knows siblings will fight, so what do you do? You mediate and get back to common ground. Not FORCE them to play nice, that makes things worse, which is where work goes wrong. The workplace is the same way.
It was easier for me to form friendships with people who were not directly competing with me/had different skill set/job and not on my team. It's much less stressful that way.
You what I hated the most? When I was working and my co-workers expected me to socialize with them. Like go out for drinks after work. I spend over 8 hours with these people, I don't want to spend anymore time with them. Or they expected me to go to work parties and spend time with them on holidays. (Christmas parties and 4th of July parties.) Holidays are for family and friends, not co-workers. I didn't fell comfortable going to an outside office party. I didn't want to drink with my co workers. I refused to go to any out of the office party. People got offended when I would go to their party or socialize with them. I tell them "I don't mix business with personal" Or I 'd say I separate my work life and home life. One boss told me that it was "old fashioned" to seperate them. That work should be as important as family. They used the "We are your family also." I couldn't handle that crap.
Damn this is so bloody true. Now I don't care about getting personal with anybody but this is such a pathetic excuse used by my previous job to isolate, group up and marginalise new employees and those who aren't sucking up to mid level plebs
When I started working 30 years ago at a meeting the boss started on this whole " We are a family here". A cynical worker in his 50s piped up and said "Yeah - but only if you mean like the Manson family". I never took it seriously after that !!
@@JenniferBrick I’ve begun the healing process … but I’m terrified of getting back out there. I know It will get better … in time Thanks Jennifer… your page is really helping me
(accountant based in Belgium)after 2 years and 6 months i got fired. The reason was I didn't match the group and they were a family .. It was probably the happiest day of my life!!!! bulling, rasism, gaslighting etc. everything you wouldn't want at work or in your family. I was so stressed there that I developed a very severe urticaria - chronic hives, swelling mostly of the eyes, lips and hands but also whole face and the throath from time to time - when doctors were looking for the cause of my urticaria they would ask me if I have stress, I would say no.. looking back I have learned 2 things, 1st - health is much more important than woçrk experience and a nice resume, 2nd - I need to learn my boundries, how to spot that people do not respect the boundries and how to react.
hear hear.. learnt the hard way too... I used to work in a call centre with a childhood friend...let's just say this childhood friend doesn't know on when his filthy mouth would stop or has no sense of tact despite in a environment that highly encourages professionalism.. I dismissed it because that's how close friends would sometimes do, dissing each other in a fun way.. buuut what I didn't really like was when co-workers whom are not my friends or any close knit relationships whatsover with started to diss the same way as my childhood friend does...boundaries are now destroyed like the walls of jericho.. I didn't know if I should take these offensive strides as a playful joke? or something that would tear me up inside?...never again to be the butt of all jokes at work! EVER!
Haha! Yes and your boss tells you that if anything is bothering you they are open door and you can come talk to them. Then when you vent your words are used against you and youget written up and suspended 🙃. Never again! Get the check, go home
You just summed up my whole 12 year experience at my current job. Toxic work culture starts with managers and supervisors. People will do what they are allowed to do. I work with about 15 grown ass men and there are a few bad ones that make the work place very toxic. These few have the support of our manager and the times I've complained of bullying and harassment they've twisted it around to make it my fault. Comment's of "you are just too sensitive" and things of that nature. No, coworkers are not your family. Even if you are blessed to be in a good work environment I'd keep an arms distance with any coworker.
I fell for that. It was the most toxic and abusive environment I had ever been in. I was gaslight, talked about behind my back, people were constantly competing with each other. It was a nightmare. I ignored all the red flags, kept making excuses, kept working and working and working. I thankfully left and feel so much better. I almost lost my marriage because of it too. I'm so glad I got out. Work will never be there for you like a family-whether it's your blood family you love or the found family you made. You are 100% replaceable to your work and they can and will drop you in a heartbeat.
Same here. I fell for everything. Ignored every red flag. I would never dream of doing any of the things that these people did so I was totally unprepared when they did them to me. Hey, Lessons Learned.
Absolute Facts! I live this reality right now. If they say this in a job interview - find the exit. One of the biggest issues is how the “family” label is used as an excuse to Intrude into your private life. Trying to extract things that are nobody’s business and then brining them up constantly to everyone else at work and using all of it against you when the opportunity arises.
At my last job (a small local business; we had 11 people after I started, and three more were hired before I left) the owner would gather everyone in a circle or around the table and play “Two Truths and a Lie,” and we all had to share two true facts about ourselves and make up one lie, and everyone got to guess which was the lie. We went around the table with that crap. The owner called it “Getting to know each other.” So right away when you start there, she wants everyone to share something personal.
Interesting take, and rather refreshing. Sometimes, I think I'm doing something wrong by not being extremely friendly with all of my coworkers. I feel left out when a group of them are congregating in the break room or getting together constantly outside of the workplace. Yet, even ignoring the fact that I'm there primarily to do my job, and NOT to make idle-chat or develop friendships, there is the risk of all of that blowing up in your face if you two have an argument or get into some drama even outside the work place. Now, you have to work and see your old "family member" who you no longer get along with or want to talk to, except you have to work with them. That's hard. I'd rather keep them all at an arm's length and merely get along, than get too close and risk making my job miserable, or just straight up losing it, because of tumultuous coworker relationships. And even going back to the first point about me being there to do my job, I can't begin to describe how frustrating it is when it's clear that certain coworkers treat the workplace as a hang out spot/watering hole, and are constantly attached at the hip, to the point that things are not getting done because of all the goofing off. Sorry, but I had to say it.
@@ccdm515 Can't speak for your workplace, but where I am it definitely matters. My decision to not socialize too much with coworkers and instead prioritize my actual work got me promoted recently. Their decision to prioritize their friends and "family" over their job has gotten them in some trouble (they've been asked to not talk so much, and get upset about it).
Your videos are a blast of fresh air. They're all true. I've never believed in 'work families'. I'm more of a team person but not a bonding person at work because it crosses boundaries.
The layoffs part is what burns my biscuits. "We're family! But we can't afford you anymore so you're laid off." At my current company, anybody who doesn't buy into the "we're family!" BS is written off as "not a culture fit" and often are let go.
I had a worker I treated like family. He got greedy. Then lied. Then stole my stuff. I had to fire him after several times of catching him in lies. He was given benefits, extras. And Christmas 🎄presents 🎁. I was disappointed that having treated 😕him and his wife well....this was the result 😢.
Yep, the job I had before the last one I was let go for being “not a good fit.” So that wasn’t much of a “family.” The last one I was laid off. A real family wouldn’t kick me to the curb when times got tough. But that is exactly what they did.
This video is on point. The bosses of the workplace I left three months ago always referred to the staff as "family" and it was toxic af. One of the bosses was an abusive narcissist and his likewise narcissistic wife would always cover for him by saying "That's just Joe, he doesn't mean to hurt you, that's just how Italians communicate, don't take it to heart.". The day I quit, the boss went absolutely berserk at me because I didn't know minor details about a department that was not in my jurisdiction. He put his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath and spit as he yelled so hard his voice was cracking. I just said "you better hope the is more willing to put up with you than me." and walked out. I put up with that rubbish for seven years, like a slave. I handed in my resignation the next day and to my absolute disgust, the wife called me in to her office for a meeting in which she got another staff member to sit in as a witness. She then proceeded to reprimand me for "my slipping workmanship over the last twelve months" and the "toxic environment" I had created, apparently turning the staff against them. The other staff member started crying because she was so upset by the blatant lies that woman was vomiting. I didn't say anything because I knew she was trying to illicit a heated response from me so she could go "SEE?! You're toxic and this CONSTANT aggression is EXACTLY why you've struggled but you're blaming us! Blah blah blah". I just handed her my key (and she f*cking had the nerve to hug me and thank me for my service, the stupid b!tch!!), packed my things and left without saying anything to anyone. Seven years of managing that department and that's what it amounted to. And I love that the boss didn't have the balls to have that conversation with me himself, he got his wife to do it while he wasn't there. Pathetic. Also, I noticed that within one month of me leaving, there was not one member left of the team that was there while I was. Everyone quit.
Family means blatant disregard for personal space, health and other related stuffs. You are meant to tolerate them because "family". So any work that says we are like a family, fleeeeeeeeeee
It was a rude awakening to learn this the hard way. And very disappointing. I had a severe lack of boundaries from my childhood, and codependency. I will not make the same mistakes again.
The " work family" motto is to mainly promote teamwork and tolerance. It's complete science fiction! The workplace brings together different personality types whom are forced to work together for most of the day. Fitting in is simply playing the game...anyone with authenticity will be eliminated.
Thank you for speaking the truth to our workaholic culture! I’ve never been comfortable with after-hours work activities. My last company was big on pressuring employees to come to every little event the company put on, which is one of the main reasons I left. A company is not your family, folks. They have no business telling you what to do after hours. It’s your life, not theirs. They don’t own you.
Coworkers are family are ppl who just stand around gossiping about you behind your back...nah I already have one and don't even mess with their toxicity .. Good night
I’ve always hated the work family lie. There is a company I work for on and off over the years. Every time they hire me I have to watch this nauseous orientation video about how good the company is to work for, and how it’s like a family. When in reality it couldn’t get any further from that.
So true! I've worked at so many places that say, "we're a family" but ended up being the most toxic places ever, precisely because they don't respect boundaries and target those that have boundaries. "Oh, John's so antisocial! He doesn't talk to anyone; he just works!" Because working while at work is such a faux pas 🙄
Used to work at a company that not only had that culture, but my department was run by actual family. Favorites, it was all politicized, and I was pushed out because I never fit in. It was super toxic.
I totally agree, I have never considered coworkers to be more than that, in fact I try to keep my work and family life completely separate from each other, and that's the main reason why I would never bring a family member or close friend to work in the company I work for.
I’ve heard the “We’re like a family here” spiel from nearly every employer I’ve ever had, and many times at job interviews where I ultimately didn’t go to work. The last job I had was one of those “we’re really a family here!” small local businesses - breakfast together in the break room, insults thrown around the office for laughs, emphasis on loyalty, etc. Then clients started cutting back and that trickled down to my employer, and suddenly I was kicked out of the “family.” There wasn’t enough work for me to do, and they couldn’t fit me into their budget anymore. So much for loyalty being a two-way street. Oh well, I can always find another “family,” right? After all, most businesses make the claim that they’re all like a family. I find it extremely irritating. To me, it cheapens the term “family” by watering down the true meaning of the word. I don’t go to work to make “family.” I already have a real one of those. I go to work to earn a paycheck so I can pay the bills. I’m loyal but from now on if I get the sense that it isn’t going both ways, my loyalty will be to myself first.
The whole "We're a family" thing is just so weird to me. I have a mom and dad. I have brothers and a sister. If I wanted to seek out a spouce, I would. No one at work is ever going to be as significant to me as my family. Family is forever, Work is while you're useful. Family would do anything for you. Work is about equivalent exchange. The best that any of my coworkers could ever hope to be is my close friend, but that is neither likely nor common. Does anyone hear this family nonsense and actually buy it? It seems like such a weird lie. It is obviously a lie. No one thinks that their boss looks at their children and spouce and thinks "I could go spend time with them, but have I but have I spent enough time with my work family?" Calling your employees your family is a bizarre thing to do. It is nothing but off putting (to me, at least). I can't understand why those words would ever come out of someone's mouth. I can't understand why any healthy, rational person would ever hear those words and think of it in a positive way. I've been wondering this a lot for the past several months. Why does anyone talk this way?
Absolutely true!! Co-workers are not family. It's a deception, plays mind games with you. Toxic culture and plays psychology games, coercion to make you feel obligate to stay back with no pay, manipulation, tyrannical boss, bullying is so rife, no rewards, no recognition, stealing gongs or someone else stole your hard work or your saving the situation, lies said about you, derides you, belittling, makes you feel so small, etc. Oh! Yes, one more thing, favouritism!
Thank you for this video. I don't go to Christmas parties, I don't participate in gifts for coworkers who have babies, I try to avoid all forms of getting on a personal level however I am still a friendly person but I'll divert any personal questions. I also make it clear to people to never contact me while I'm on annual leave... I have had that happen countless times, even on my honeymoon. Idiots.
I haven't even begun to watch the video yet but judging by the title, I can't tell you how much I AGREE with you 100 percent. For example, I personally keep my work and personal life separate...my manager(s) don't need to know why I'm requesting/taking time off and I don't even tell my co-workers when I plan to put in a request for time off or when I'm going to be off...simple as that. It invites too many unnecessary questions which could be invasive or warrant unnecessary questions each time you give or explain too much.
This can be really tricky. If you have a job that requires you to be away from your family for long periods of time, I can see how it can be difficult not to develop familial feelings for those you work with; however, the reality is... co-workers, bosses, etc. are not your friends (let alone "family") and blurring the lines are a recipe for disaster more often than not...great video! I wholehearted agree with the "we're a family" point you made towards the middle 🙌🏾
Hey Jennifer, Great video. I did work for a family business a long time ago. The founder gave all of his 5 children key positions within the company, even though none of them had college degrees or relevant experience. Their family tree was our org chart. Working there was like being in an episode of American Chopper. (They got into a lot of fights.) When came time for me to leave, I most certainly wasn't part of their family. I never was.
@@JenniferBrick Things really went downhill when they started to hire their in-laws. The in-laws were still family, but 2nd class citizens. Non-Family were serfs. I left the company and today they are all multi-millionaires thanks to Iraq war contracts. Crony capitalism at it's finest.
If I get a new job and they say “we are like a family”, I will say something to make them think about it like: -Family? What family! Toxicity is not ok at work. Won’t last
“We’re like a family” is code for encouraging gossip and backstabbing. If you ever hear a company use this phrase, please run for the hills and save yourself the heartache.
Gossip is the worst one where i work. This legit happened yesterday... Going to go back about 5 days. A co workers family member was found dead in the woods. Turns out he is suspected to be murdered. Well some ppl bitched at work that she took 3 days off (they didnt want to have to cover her job) Well yesterday. I was in the break room when the girl who lost her family member went into the supervisors office and shut the door. I didnt think nothing of it. Nor did i care It was not my business . Well about an hour or so later the supervisor came to me and another coworker to tell us she just cant believe whats going on..and gave us the whole story of a seriously private issue of this girl in hiding right now from her husband or boyfriend who destroyed everytbing in her home. And is hunting for her at friends houses ect. I took it that she told her everything so shed possibly understand why shes being so distracted these last few days (on top of the death) But hey. Lets use that juicy story & spread it like wildfire! I knew from that to NEVER trust her with more details than necessary about anything
Yes and The Real Deal which so many pathetic people have no idea caressing their pathetic Smart Phones. The co-worker could be compromising a Felony Murder Investigation. Lesson learned, TRUST Non One Ever.
That’s all I ever heard at my job and it irritated me so much. Every time I saw my low paycheck or dealt with crap from all the petty people or worked endless overtime I would think, family would never treat me like that. It’s all corporate crap just like the work life balance lie they sell. I finally quit after wasting over ten years at the same place. I just want a job that values my actual work. I don’t want to be a team player or be a part of their family. Let me do my 40 hours and go home.
Coworkers or colleagues are neither your friends nor your family- the workplace is NOT a "family"- at least the warm, fuzzy way we like to think of family. The idea of the workplace as a "family" is as toxic as the phenomena of "Job Burnout" and the "Lordstown Syndrome," both of which are truly worth Googling- as a recently retired US Government attorney for 30 years, I've experienced all of these and I paid a high psychological and physical price....
From my last 3 jobs (over a course of 44 years, I'm now retired) I have quite a few people I consider friends, some even more than my blood family. I'm sad for people who don't experience this.
I was lucky to meet some amazing people who were my coworkers. We worked hard in a factory, and they became my friends who are still in contact with me 2 years after a near fatal car wreck.
I tend to keep a really hard line on work life. No one at work knows about my personal life, with some exceptions for minor things that are too hard not to talk about, and once I'm off the clock I don't interact with anyone at work. But I am friendly and do help, it's just I prefer a certain distance between myself and people and really don't like it when that boundary is crossed.
I worked for a major corporation once and they used the “we are a family line” constantly but when it came to employees well being, fair compensation and actually caring about employees none of these were existent. All the managers got bonuses at Christmas while us little employees got a turkey. They would throw a nice party for all of the managers who would throw this line around, yet the employees would constantly be left out. They would leave out leftovers from parties in the break room. It made us all feel so small. Looking back the we are a family line was just something that benefited the company.
