everything you said is so true, some people really be hurt when they realise they’re not a friend in someone’s life but they never even try to live to that standard to begin with. make it make sense 🥴
"Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law". This very saying applies at work, everything you say at work will be used against you when it comes down to who gets kept after the holiday season, who gets promoted etc.
making your social media private and only accessible to those who follow you and blocking co-workers before they can get access to your stuff is a great idea! i don't have any social media other than twitter for my career! i'm 16 and don't have a job, but I notice that a lot of people put themselves in unnecessary situations because of telling their co-workers WAY too much about themselves. keep it professional always and please avoid dating coworkers unless its TRULY meant to be!
@@noname-zk1gc It this one imbecile at my job, he knows im quiet I don't talk to him but he approaches me. Says a lot of asinine stuff like where the girls at or he wants to know what I be doing. Smh try to be a friend but my instincts tells me stay away from him. When I'm at work I like to listen and observe
@@patrickturk8957 ugh i feel bad for you! follow your instincts, and avoid him unless the situation to speak with him is necessary. people sometimes don't pick up cues that someone wants to be left alone or that some people are more reserved. I am very type A and like to talk to others, but i don't like to be around people constantly and prefer to work independently.
@@noname-zk1gc I understand being around others you start developing insecurities and people are selfish nowadays. Working independently you can get abundance of things done if your focus. Also he ask me for my number and wonder do I have IG I was smh, he said I see where we stand😒 He wanted me to have his back on this situation but that was none of my business. I just don't want to be his friend.
You are associates until you are no longer collaborating daily. It has happened to me. They can say oh we love you or we are a family or we are a team. Bologna! Period, do you’re straight 8 and get the hell outta Dogde! Cordial, cool, nice, speak your hellos/ goodbyes and go home. That’s where your family and true friends live! ✌️
During my 2 weeks notice at many jobs coworkers would say "you're not gonna send out a personal email to keep in touch?" I'm like "nooo, no one ever keeps in touch". LOL
I like to keep a "professional distance". I really view my coworkers as "chess pieces" and not actual human beings. It's all just a "game". They will stab you in the back at any given moment if it suits them. To me, coworkers are just inanimate objects. They're like a piece furniture at the store. Just cold, barren and lifeless objects who I barely acknowledge. It's best to isolate yourself from everyone at work and only talk to them about work-related matters.
That is what I decided to do from the get go after getting a job earlier in the year. But in some work teams that is easier said than done, especially if you work in an environment where some colleagues do seem to be genuinely friendly to the point of cliquishness with lot of overheard over-sharing about their private lives. It is hard to distance yourself from being hurt when some team members treat others like friends but others are kept at a distance and treated like colleagues. I never talk about my private life to any of my team and I feel like a fish out of water on that team. That makes it hard. It's like I am being judged for being too distant, too professional - and not in a good way. So all that you advise is coming back to bite me. The rule of thumb when it comes to chatter is to only say something about someone else you have already told that someone else- so there is no gossip merit in it. Never talk about the big four: money, politics, religion, relationships. Keep it friendly, polite and simple. Have fun together but stay emotionally detached.
It’s also funny when they are your coworkers but start telling you their whole business but they don’t consider you as a friend. It’s true almost everywhere people aren’t your friends. That’s why I don’t call everybody my friend!!!!!!
🙌 you got it! Everyone is here to get the 💼! I saw many people who got hurt because they thought so and so are their friends! Not just at work!l though! I had family members whom I thought were my friends just told me straight to my face “ you are not my friend”. People are fickle 😂
It doesn't have to be this way. If your coworkers are all stabbing each other in the back, it's because you have a toxic workplace culture. Find a place to work on a high performing team and you will see the contrast.
The only co-workers I've ever added to my social media were ones that I really liked, and we had a lot in common. However I didn't add them until I was no longer working at that job because they were my favorite co-workers that I worked for. I agree with all of this that you said.
Yess I agree. One coworker I’m actually cool with actually followed me on social media last year and we exchanged numbers. He’s the only one and he’s cool so I don’t mind.
It's nice because as of 2020 I came off of all social media and never went back. Early in my career, I never talked to people because my original attitude was I have my work life and then I have my life separate from that. Later into my career I do talk to ppl and am cordial but I don't offer up any of my own personal information. Thank you for your video.
Thank you for sharing. Since this video I’ve definitely opened up to a select group of colleagues more and I feel comfortable and “safe” to do so. It also allows for a more pleasant work environment. Wisdom should definitely be applied here. I think a balance is needed.
I don’t have social media accounts LOL I did have a new Coworker say I tried to find you on Facebook. Another reason why I don’t have social media accounts nosy coworkers
I have so much work to do in the field of not taking it all personal. Sometimes I feel like a total crybaby, cause everytime they do something evil it hits really hard and I just feel like I have to quit cause I can't stay there when I'm that embarassed. On my way to learning how to behave friendly but not to befriend them. Thanks for the useful video, I feel better
I wouldn't be evil to my co-workers at all when I'm on the clock, but I need to keep in mind that they're not friends. I just do my dang job for 5 days a week while respectful to them, and that's it. I wouldn't talk about anime if they're not interested.
That's what I tell everyone too, if anyone asks me if I have social media platforms and accounts. I just say I don't do facebook. The truth is that I lie about it. I am quite active on social media as a contributor and commentator but I have and still do always, always, always, use a psuedonym. Why everyone doesn't do the same is beyond me. There are two reasons for that: 1. If you use your own name, but still want every Tom, Dick or Harry to find you and to read what you post, those who recognise you or want to do you harm could use what you put up against you - so why expose yourself to that and diminish your personal power? 2. If you use your own name but you justify doing that becuase you want to be selective about what you post and who reads it - just inviting a few friends to read your news and contributions - you may as well set up a multiple mail-out email account to correspond with friends and family personally, or to send out a personal news bulletin. I makes no sense to privatise a public space on a social media platform.
I feel you, I used to want to make lots of friends at every job I had. But I experienced bullying & backstabbing from coworkers who I thought were my friends one too many times. The level of betrayal is so traumatizing! It’s like they’re trying to get you fired and don’t even care if you lose your livelihood and go homeless. Even worse, that’s probably what they’re secretly hoping for!
There are people that talk bad about someone and a little later act as nothing ever happened in the workplace, other just started in a job and act as they are in charge, some watch videos instead to be working during work hours, there are also some workers that talk trash about the other that is in the next cubicle, and there are the ones that keep making silly conversations in the middle of the office while others want to WORK, I guess those are just some of the reasons that many want to work from home, the problem is NOT the work itself, the problem is the co-worker's behavior, so please people, WORK and stop talking so much.
It this one imbecile at my job, he knows im quiet I don't talk to him but he approaches me. Says a lot of asinine stuff like where the girls at or he wants to know what I be doing. Smh try to be a friend but my instincts tells me stay away from him. When I'm at work I like to listen and observe
I work in a tight knit team of 8 people in the mental health field. I am the most senior staff and helped train most of the team. we are equals, but many of them are brand new to the field. Many of my coworkers are 19-21 while I am in my late 20s, out of school for several years. There is a wide maturity gap there. We are all friendly, know each other well, laugh and joke around. But there is a small group who are very cliquey. At first I started being very friendly with them when I got to know them more, and I let my walls down more than I normally would at work, and started to enjoy feeling included. On some levels we have lots in common and always end up laughing together. But then I realized they are VERY mean about a specific coworker who struggles with social skills. I try to redirect the conversation to encourage them to set boundaries with this person, as there's some validity to their complaints. But they are mostly mean to just be mean. I recently found out that they've been taking turns leaving work, covering for each other, and still clocking the hours. And then they are leaving a ton of work undone for me to finish in the morning. We just got a 3 dollar raise in an effort to build our team, and this is very rare within the company history. We should be grateful. This is also a safety issue, as we are not providing the staffing ratio for the kids that we are promising. I'm realizing when I'm talking with them that they often have side jokes and conversations over and around me, even when I'm trying to communicate about work. Im realizing they are very annoying and immature. I now have come to see them as work friends but had to make a decision to report their unsafe behavior as my coworkers. If I didn't and something happened as a result of their actions, it could be a huge safety issue and I'd feel responsible. Now I'm scared of backlash and am regretting ever crossing those boundaries to be more than friendly coworkers. I feel like I have lost their respect as a senior staff who can help lead them, as now I can't even have a conversation without them being overly casual, silly, and unprofessional. I'm realizing I really value integrity. I had to choose between helping protect the integrity of the program and of myself professionally, or not "snitching" and protecting these work friend relationships. What a shitty situation to be in.
This is so true. Thought we were cool, I left we text a fee times & came back to the same office & guess what...those people aren't my friends. Let work be work & act accordingly.
It's definitely useful. I like to think that I can make friends at work and I have in the past for sure. You're right though. If you make 10 friends, you're lucky to have two or three that would stay in touch with you after you leave your job after a year or two, and a lot of times the people you thought that we're going to reach out to you. Or if they did it was cuz they needed something. So a lot of ways you're right. Excellent content subscribe
Yea you’re right, when I put in my two week notice I wasn’t able to finish mine because I ended up going off on my manager because she was being a workplace bully talking about me behind my back. I really didn’t want to do it but I felt like it needed to be said because I would always ignore it. But I let my ego get to me so I couldn’t help it 😅 I will learn from my mistakes and do better at the next job I get but under no circumstances do I regret doing it because…. I don’t 💀
Just started this office job about two months ago and it has been a up and down roller coaster since I got here full of snakes and fakes people talking behind each other backs then smiling in their faces, I literally feel the tension in the air everyday when I arrive but everybody puts on a front, so disgusting and unfortunately I am beginning to be seen as antisocial because I choose not to engage in the negativity. This video is right on point CO-WORKERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!
I was just a kitchen porter but to honest, I never felt accepted by anyone in that cafe and every staff member there were close with one another except me and when there was a social outing, I got strongly ignored and secluded while everyone else chatted amost each other. To this day am trying to figure out what I done wrong, even the new staff members were made to feel welcomed when after I worked there and they have been accepted as friends immediately and invited to many social events also and have been included in various conversations and group chats also. I was in that place from June last year until December. What is the solution to this do you think and how can an employee have a different effect and influence and impact and response from employees and employers at a nother workplace??? Thanks very much for your attention. To be honest I have no friends at all, even though I attended and engaged in various events and activities
If you watched the second instalment in this series you’ll see me tell a story about one of the places I worked at. Very isolating. They didn’t like me much because one of the Paralegals said I was a snitch so they left me out when they would order food in and I wasn’t on their Snapchat group chat (didn’t care about this one much). I just had to not care about it because I’m at work for the experience and to make money. Not really to make besties with anyone, but I understand the feeling having no friends. I’m sorry if his is happening to you. Maybe think about the energy you’re putting out too? Try to ensure you’re being friendly and maybe start up conversations first. If there’s still resistance from their end they most likely just have an issue with you and that’s not your problem. You’ll have to learn to live with it. If it’s really affecting you then it’s time to look for a new job 🫡
What if a female coworker wants to hug you while clocking in or out? If she puts her arm around you while walking back to your work designation? If that was me, I'd let a female coworker slide with the one hug. She needs to know something, I have a girlfriend. I'm afraid that we both may be found out by our boss about us hugging, and our intimacy. Can she respect the act I'm already taken?
Hmm… I like to make the best of the workplace experience since we spend a majority of time there. In general, I don’t expect people to be my best friend at work, but at the same time, I don’t get why people are so toxic and negative. There’s no sense of community and I feel its wrong. At the end of the day, we are all people with souls and emotions and to act completely like a robot and cold because not everyone is friendly is a bit much too. I don’t know. What’s the point of spending so much time around people and not bonding? Or at least mirroring positive energy? Why the negativity? Like now i’m keeping more to myself, but more than anything, it makes me sad. People are losing their personalities and souls in the process and for the sake of working. I don’t feel like I fit in this world at all. And when people are “friendly” at work, its all small talk and gossip and low vibrational. Being a true friend, is truly caring about the other person and liking the person too. Even if you are at work.
I get what you’re saying but it’s not always safe at work to be your true loving self. There will always be exceptions but just be vigilant, that’s all I’ll say.
@@EsiriE I also get what you’re saying, believe me. I really liked your video. It just makes me sad how the world is. And i’ve had people betray me in the workplace and also be fake and I don’t understand any of it. I just try to be the best person I can be and be a good example but I have become more weary and cautious. Your video was great Esiri 😊
When that happened to be I just ignore the Facebook request or maybe block on Instagram? Or do it so they can’t see any of your posts so they’ll think you don’t post lol
@@EsiriE I don’t even post on Instagram because I don’t want them to see my life! after I leave the current workplace, I will most likely block all of them! I am friendly and keep it real but some girls are fake GOSSIPY AF! Now I learnt my lesson and keep it cute but girl bye, I’m here to work and get paid PERIOD, I see ya chit chatting by the water cooler? Ok hi/ bye
I partly agree but also largely disagree. It is important to look at it from several sides. It has been scientifically proven that it is good to be friends with colleagues: It makes you more productive Research by the American research and consulting company Gallup suggests that workplace friendships are positive and provide support and fun. In addition, research has shown that people learn more and are more productive when they have fun at work. There are people who definitely have contact with their colleagues long after they have left the workplace.
@@EsiriE Your welcome. I understand that it also have dark sides, but it can also give color to your life if people have a positive influence. negative people should always be avoided.
@@Darkcontentnl it’s okay. I’m sure I knew what you meant. You’re trying to say that there’s “positives and negative (Dark sides)” sides to it too. You were just giving me the positive side, right?
@@EsiriE The first job I had for 2 years, I was exploited and mentally abused. My first boss started out very nice, he taught me lots of things about machining. Then the abuse started, it got worse and worse, they could not take a single word back. They have given me a short temper. I took full responsibility for a mistake that many people including him, were really responsible for not just me, and after it was resolved, I had to leave, I couldn't take the stress and abuse any more. I did not leave on good terms. The second job I had for 6 months, I was still having a mental breakdown from the first job, I started asking for more when I really shouldn't have, I should have just been humble, I was pushing them to put me in a different position, I also tried bargaining for more money as I was looking at changing employment, then I was working with a younger apprentice, and he made a mistake I should have been able to prevent. I took full responsibility for his mistake, he took absolutely no responsibility at all, I just wanted him to privately admit to me that he was at fault, or I couldn't work with him any more, and he refused, and on top of that he insulted me, basically spat in my face. So I told the boss I could not work with him any more, and he punished me for saying that. They are still persecuting me to this day! Putting shit on my name to my new employers. They fired me from my job one week before the end of the six month probation period. They forced me out of the building and threatened to call the police as if I am some sort of criminal. They would not give a definitive reason as to why I was being fired. The third job I was just at for 3 months, I was made the boss, while I am still just an apprentice. I had no guidance. But I am a highly skilled in my trade. I was put with tradesmen who did not want to learn from me, they wanted to prove they were better than me. I was completely blamed for their mistakes. One of them who happens to be incredibly insecure, brought his girlfriend into the workplace, and she got a little too friendly with me. I couldn't believe that I was being sabotaged in this way, now this person who I needed to be on good terms with, had a very personal reason to be jealous of me. UNBELIEVABLE. CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I am sure he was talking shit to the manager about me and poisoning his mind. I made a couple of minor mistakes of my own, but mine always go unforgiven, I am held to a inhuman standard, but worst of all I had an accident, I was inexperienced with the large scale of the work, and I was not being trained properly, no one was hurt, nothing was damaged, the part got repaired, I took responsibility, but after that they treated me like a safety risk. No one wanted me to have the position. They waited 2 months for me to complete my work, to fire me. Again, threatening to call the police on me as if I am some sort of criminal. They are cowards, they won't even tell me the real reason why they are doing this to me. I have 16 months left until I am qualified. I could finish this in 6 months if they were just fair to me. I would never do anyone like I have been done. This trade has taught me so much, but it has come with unbelievable torment. Everywhere I go, I am attacked. Attacked at work, attacked when I come home. I can't afford to leave. I am stuck in this hellhole. They are all jealous of me, they think I have more, even though I have less. They hate me without reason. They attack me because they can. Because I don't have a piece of paper that says I am an expert, I have to go through all this hell.
