Cupid and the Vicar of Swale, a Short Story by Somerset Maugham 

Amazingly accurate picture of English society! It's hilariously funny, but also painfully true!

😂Sommerset is an incredible, and timeless storyteller!

OOOO this is so wonderful. The narrator is perfect. I love all these stories but this is in a class of its own. Thank you from the bottom of my almost 85 year old heart . :)

To say that I love these stories is an understatement.

A wonderfully tongue in cheek introduction.

I love this story. It's such a perfect picture of a fortune hunting man who will marry just about anything with a dowry, and I'm absolutely sure the woman he proposed to first had seen right through him and found the perfect way of dealing with him. Somerset Maugham is always wonderful, but in this story's depiction of older women there's a little touch of Saki - he was so good about aunts!

These stories are new to me and quite good. Thankyou for posting.

I love the song at the end.❤

While working, listening to the short story. Just the right time / length of the story for one go!!!!!!!

These English gentle folk are masters at sounding genteel while doing terrible things to each other.

She knew he was out for the money snd she enjoys her independence anyway 😅

Magical lovely 💕 song after story. Memory cobblestone road 🎵

I loved this story with its funny outcome.

Sperb narration and music. The late authorvwould have smiked ss much as I did listening to the audio well past midnight. I had lived >10 years in a lovely village in Kent ( Oasthouse/ small cottages/leaden windows and suoerbly looked after cottage gardens) not that far from Swale and wondered why we never considered visiting the vicarage..perhaps! Reminded me of some ladies who weren't that different from the likes of Mrs Proudfoot / Strong

Thank you for this story 😊

Neuralsufer--you have ignighted an absolute fire for Somerset Maugham in me. I can not get enough. His characters are in my brain now. BTW - your illustrations are spot on--who does them?Thank you.

Lovely song at the end. I tried to SHAZAM it, but could not identify it. What's the title and artist?

The stories would be wonderful to listen to at night as one is awake in bed. However, the ads burst in and make it impossible to enjoy.

Cranford was never like this .

Great story. Thank you.

*Spoilers** This is the first of S.M.'s short stories. It was first published in Punch, 1900. It was a dry, one could say 'droll,' view of marriage in a small English village. "The Vicar of Swale," had lashings of Victorian morality thrown in for more British humor. The Rev. Robert Branscombe was a forty-year-old Oxford graduate who wanted to progress in his career. Therefore, he understood the need to marry the right wife, one with money. There were only two candidates because of class-based snobbery. Lady Proudfoot, who was always sticking her foot into other people's business, was determined it should be her friend, Mrs. Edith Strong. Although, "perilously near forty years of age," Proudfoot saw that in a positive light, Edith won't give him fifteen children. Everything about Mrs. Strong is strong, especially her teeth it would seem. Six feet tall, she had been the sporty type, but now was big as an elephant. (So, we'll understand Strong's showy teeth as a reference to an elephant's tusks.) Yet an elephant with L1,500 per annum. Branscombe assures her he'll do his duty by her, but Strong thinks that his virtually saying, 'don't worry about sex, I'll service the cow,' to not be sufficiently romantic. The other woman was the twenty-nine-year-old Jane Simpson, well-named, for she was a plain-Jane and a simpering-Simp(son). Simpering in her affection for the vicar and desperate to be married, therefore, undesirable. So much so that with a deceased father and a fortune of L100,000 in her own name, no one wanted her. The story ends with Mrs. Strong managing to palm-off Branscombe onto the simp, Jane Simpson. Maugham does throw in that in a class-based society, the gap between the haves and the have-nots was wide. So wide that the best the have-nots could reasonably hope for was that their children would die young of diphtheria or typhoid. He hints that that was their Christmas present from God "in winter."

Thanks

SM’s range is wonderful!

God in heaven do I love this song 🎵 thank you for including it again I’m so grateful about it 🙏 may I please ask if you could again navigate me to the channel page you’d uploaded the entire song to? Thank you in advance. Respectfully, Grace 🙏

Thank you.

So, inhabitants are not considered sinners, but they can sin with impunity. Disgusting town.

She knew that if she told him that he would show his true self. She said it to test him .

Women in the ad sprout faster than their face hair.

Name of the song, please?

An insufferable snob in real life, Maugham was able to feign an air of plebeian brotherhood in his writing to perfection, nonetheless 😂

👏👏👏👏🙏💕

This is lovely. Both the story and narration. One thing. Could you read slightly slower? Just a little. Sometimes I can't tell when one sentence ends and another begins.

Crazy huh?

👍⭐🌹

I'd love the name of the song and artist at the end of this story.

Why did he ask ma strong to marry him if he wanted to marry me Simpson? Was it the money?

‘card’?! 😂 ‘cad’ …..

What is the name of the song, please?