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Wish you all beautiful beautiful beautiful on your journey soul we come on earth and meet souls on earth best to you sir god bless you prayers within soul powerful prayer's from Kenya heaven respect and honours human be humanity
A small portion of his advice is very specific to the particular religion but the large majority of his advice is applicable to everyone, like "how does his presence makes you feel" (aka stop trying to impress *him* and figure out if he's good enough for you), extremely wise stuff. Top notch. You'll never read something so sensible in the so-called "self-help" section. Thanks.
I'm not even Jewish (I'm Lutheran), and I find myself lovingly nodding in agreement to what you say (quite eloquently). I especially enjoyed the part wherein you said that a person (both male & female) should have a teacher/counselor even as an adult. Nowadays, so many people have no one to truly count on - whether it be for good advice or anything else. Furthermore, many adults aren't even close to their families, their religious community, nor is there any involvement in the neighborhood or society. Makes me have a greater appreciation for you, sir.
I am 70 years old and wish I had heard wisdom like this when I was a young women. When I was young, what I saw for marriage would be something you would run away from, because no one was wise enough to know anything about what marriage was all about.
I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever heard being talked about this among dozens of relationship books/videos/interviews/coaches. And it's such a compressed information, like every 5 minutes you have an 'aha' moment, while in other interviews you can hardly remember 1 or 2 things out of 1 hour talk... I want to know more about jewish culture on relationships and marriage...
and when he asks "say something" at 54:03 I'm like "what do I win!... so much sacrifice into marriage, what's the result of getting my husband needs met"
There are plenty of places to look. Prager University (on RU-vid and on their own site) has a few vids about Jewish law and culture. I like Rabbi Jonathan Rietti and Rabbi Mordechai Becher -- There is also an on-line show that compares and contrasts a lot about Judaism to Christianity. It's called Tenak Talk -- produced by William Hall.
"If you're gonna overlook his faults, don't even bother meeting him! Marry him over the phone. The whole point of meeting him is to see if the little things bug you...and if they do, don't go there!"
I have learned so much from this, and I am 48, but not too old to learn. I will watch this again and again. the nurturing part, it made me cry. My mother is a busy bee but never time to enjoy anyone or anything. she's a good person but can't enjoy anyone. My father has always been a bully and mean. I have enjoyed watching you, and I'm soaking in every word. this is therapy. maybe I'll heal, thank you. God Bless You.
@@lauraowen8142 thank you so much for your kind words. things are better for me now. I wrote a book, a short story book about my life with my parents... it's gotten 5 star reviews, although I've not been able to advertise it, my mother says it's disrespectful to tell things. She says I shouldn't have wrote such a thing... but I felt it should be told. I've been a journal writer, for my entire life, well since childhood. I attended writing classes in the 90s at a college, and I feel it has led up to this. The book is:. Under the darkness of the magnolia tree. By: Me... Tina Kirkaey. Paperback recommended but either is available. It's only $8.00 I was kind to my parents in the book, not fully exposing them, only giving enough information to build on. Thank you again. Love, Light and Peace be with you. 💓
I am very thankful for this teaching!! I am not jewish but I love the Lord and would have loved to have this sound advise before marriage. You have helped me understand a few things that have confused me about my husband and helped me to see how I can be a better wife/helpmate! God bless you!
Thank you Rabbi I have been married for 22 years now I met my husband when I was 13 and kept it between the Lord and I for 2 years. Listening to your teaching is like listening to Father Abraham so peaceful and applicable. No dating was my rule in a Christian home, it was tough, my parents thought I was crazy, but all of my younger sisters followed my lead and have great marriages. Your teaching is going a long way with my daughter also
I have been waiting to watch this video for a while, so happy I got around to it! It made me tear up...I am not interested in dating around. I hope God put my future husband in my path.
I think I had it the best. My wife was my classmate since grade seven. We met when we were 11 years old. We never had to go through the dating part, we simply got married after graduating university. Now we are almost 40, together. I would say our parents played an essential part in this. Young people need guidance on such major decisions. We were obedient. And we are very happy with the result so far.
Rabbi is very wise , my Muslim grandfather used to say the same thing and people would laugh .. those who were laughing are all divorced now , having affairs , miserable .... old wisdom is needed more than ever to help solve problems created by the madness of modernity
this Rabbi has the most beautiful voice : calm, respectful. "You're there to make is life easier" : ok, I can agree with that... but what about him ? is he there to make the wife's life easier as well ? (not trying to make fun of what he said, just trying to understand the philosophy). Mr. Rabbi talks so much sense (and I am not a Jew), but I totally agree with that he says. Love that "teaching" / "talk". thank you so very much for sharing.
Thank you Rabbi Friedman. I'm 60 years old and started watching this video sort of, tongue-in-the-cheek like. I was married for 31 years, my husband died when I was 54. I am a widow for 5 and a half years and don't know half about what you were talking about. I found it fascinating. I just wish I've had this knowledge when I was young. Oh, to be able to turn back the clock again ...
This is the wisest speech on dating and marriage I have ever heard. I really wish people nowadays would be more like this than all the big mess that we have in the western countries today.
how do you meet someone without dating? as he says, dating is just checking the person out. exactly. you check them out and if you both are happy with what you see then you take the next step and make an emotional commitment.
Many Jewish schools are separate boys and girls. A very great idea, can focus on education without all the male female distractions in US public schools
I have never been a fan of dating. Listening to him is sensible in many ways. Good things to consider. I know it is best to ask lots of questions and find out as much as possible.
43:50 I agree with everything except for this part. Some people really do come from broken homes with abuse(sexual, verbal,emotional, physical) striving to not be like that isn't weak or makes you out of control. You can heal from this and be a better person. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be nothing like your parents in these unfortunate circumstances.
❤❤ I can relate ... some people don't have good relationships with their fathers when their father just left them and father doesn't want a relationship with them.
The Rabbi is saying that you don't need to date, because who you will marry has been predestinated by G_d. So relax, because you will meet him/her when the right time comes .
I watched this a few years ago and was frantically searching youtube for it again. So glad I found it. I feel I made a mistake of doing something he advised not to do. Wil watch again
This was good. This man is speaking about metaphysical concepts! Twin flame (re-union). Wow! Intrinsically we all KNOW our partners, if we date we may loose him due to all of the choices that may be based on superficial action's. Husband's are not like men...so true. Wow.
I've always said that dating is an unnatural act. It's awkward and horrible. No-fault divorce should be illegal; makes it too quick and easy. Too many fractured families today.
Most US non Jewish parents do not even sit with their sons/daughters and have this kind of discussion. Notice he rarely tells them what to do; they are asked questions to get them to think about certain areas. Dating is practice for non commitment; and young people do get hurt when "breaking up" And because adolecents don't have long term thinking yet, what do you think will happen in 5 years; if this or that. No wonder have such high divorce rate in US. Most important is if son or daughter has strong sense of who they are and their vision for life; the commitment to same vision will be a glue to hold marriage together; a purpose beyond the individuals. I am now 68; and wish for a new life; I'd be in this Jewish girls school.
Really enjoyed listening to your teachings. Wise are you. Thank you very much for sharing your sound knowledge - 52 year old mother of five and grandmother of 2 from Indiana. Looking forward to more of your teachings!
Thank you for this video! I love when you said, "you're just there to check him out. You're looking it over." All around excellent vid, much respect, and thank you, Rabbi Manis Friedman.
the Rabbi is 100 percent on point. like he said, "if she doesn't like his fingernails, then dont marry him". It is a two fold answer to him and her.. For him is good so he will have a better chance of someone who will be ok with it. For her is that she needs to be less picky or she will be alone.. if she went ahead and not realizing it, Then she will always be thinking about it life long. Until she gets past it BEFORE marriage then it will not bother her IN marriage.. And besides as i am older, if someone is for you , no mattter the flaws , they would not have seen it. and if they have seen it, it would not have mattered... simple as that..
I want to say Thank you to Rabbi Friedman for this video and advice. It came right when I needed it. I loved the direct, frank, advice and knowledge to elevate a person to a higher level in this world. I love your sense of humor and style.
So Kindly Brutally Honest with Pure Heart and Soul.Everybody need this.The Honesty part regardless of the answer is what is so Beautiful and It Realigns the Thought Process.
The most holy words I have ever heard x I am very thankful for his wisdom 😌 glad I found this video it really changed my life "Who do you want to be in your life? What do you want from your life? What kind of home you want to build for your family? Don't tell me what you COULD do. Tell me what is the Plan!!! What am I marryint a potential?"
If every baal/baalas tshuva would reject someone because of their relationships with their parents hardly any of us would get married, and sometimes these issues can never be resolved!
This is 100% correct. I'm Christian and wish I knew this. Especially the part about the father and absolutely having a relationship with a preacher. He is correct, a man who will not accept correction is terrible. It's serious and you need to run!
Very nice to hear someone take to young people in such a nice way about an important topic. They may wonder, but not want to ask. My husband and I dated when I was 16 years old and I knew him before that, but we did not date until I was 16 and he 19. My husband and I will be married 50 yrs this Sept 2018 ,and we have had ups and downs like all, there is not any other way marriage can happen, but I was 18 yrs old when married and my husband 21, and he was in the Navy. ( All in our life was experiences) We had a big wedding with 300 people at the reception. I graduated and went college 'later' on. Worked, around family but in those days ,could do this if necessary. Should have maybe gone to college earlier, but am just not able to be like some, who can take care of family and work and clean house and cook and just do so much! My husband worked and made the most money and so I did not expect him to do too much more, but he did enough. Working together is the best. He has his duties and I, mine even now. We are together alot doing most things together and now retired . My dad used to help my mom and work hard ,and my mom did too. Maybe this helped and they were married well over 50 yrs? I was 19 years old when our first son was born and three yrs later, second son and only though had two sons we were happy. Could not have more later, with health issues, so good I did this while I was able yet! have grand children and a couple grand daughters and a great grand daughter 2 yrs old. As felt bad we never had a daughter. The Lord did help us in the end ,and we have dear grand sons too! Not rich, but just fine. ( when we married, was able to pay for the wedding as, I had worked while in high school ,at a Catholic hospital as nursing assistant during weekends and Summers. Saved my money and with that and fact my parents cashed in my insurance policy that paid for the wedding!) I do not personally agree though ,with anyone younger than 18 years marrying at all. Not legal and not quite ready normally ,in the life as we live today.
I’m listening to this as a 51 y old lapsed but believing christian and never before in m life have I heard so much wisdom. My life has been wasted through ignorance and the absence of structure and security growing up with parents who were ‘raised’ the same way😔 They honestly thought they were doing right😢
Thank you Rabbi Friedman. Such wonderful insight definitely a must listen to and always to remember and keep listening to. As we tend to get lost in the media of the world, so we always need to come back to Hashem.
Some very good advice, I am Christian not a jew, but I still found this video very helpful and so full of wisdom. I wish my father or grandfather sat me down and talked with me like this
Yes girl! The admiration must be mutual...be proud of you... why isn't a woman doing this teachings.... the woman does not need compliments just be appreciated...
He contradicts himself a lot but seems to be kind and sincere....I espec like when he says how do u feel when ur with him> ? How does he make u feel about yourself? No tension...That's good chemistry
Rabbi Friedman is very wise and I have learned much from this teaching. One thing that struck me deeply was when he said to ask your future husband about his relationship with his father. WOW. That is a very wise question. Now, the only thing I might add to this very important issue is this-- If the other half of your soul has a problem with his father, don't rule out marrying him. Rather, know that his relationship with his father can be HEALED with Hashem's help. And that it will take both of you- husband and wife to bring son and father together again. It will take time, perhaps 5 to 7 years or longer. But it will be worth it for the entire family, and your future children. G-d's blessings to ALL.
An outstanding and candid talk that anyone who dates, or wishes to get married should view, many times. Spot on information on what a marriage is, and obviously is not.
