Day in my Life *depressed edition 

Im currently going through a depressive episode and binge watching depression day in the lives. Thank you for making this, this made me feel like im not alone ❤❤

Im stuck, I feel paralized today is the worst, my mind is racing with negative thoughts, the night was terrible, people don't understand how bad it is

Please listen to Osho

I have days like this where my mind feels paralyzed and can’t complete a single task. Thanks for sharing your challenges with us along with your better days. ♥️

i am currently ebbing and flowing in a depressive state too and it's so refreshing having you share an experience that at times can be isolating and confusing. you are the youtube big sis we all need

I’ve never felt more seen. Depressive episodes really just creep on you sometimes. People assume it’s because you’re going through hardships in life, but the hardest ones to justify or accept for me are the ones that kick in when my life is going really well. It’s such a godsend when you find people who understand that this is a mental state and try to help you through it instead of taking it personally like you’re unhappy with their company or role in your life.

My depressed is due to lack of money. I wish I had a place like yours and food on the table. I would not be depressed. I’m broke, so it’s easier to just lay in bed and starve. I’m a med student and alr in tons of debt.

This couldn’t have come at a better time, Its my day off, and I feel like I wasted the day bc of my depression. It is so appreciated you are sharing this and being vulnerable!

Guy here. Understand what it's like to be depressed and I believe a lot of people don't even realise how difficult it is

This video is a reminder that none of us are alone when it comes to the ongoing fight with mental illness. We all do the best we can ♥️ thank you for sharing.

Severely depressed myself so I get you. I’ve been struggling for years too. But at 28, I’m not sure much longer I can go on. I hope you can recover from this disease. And appreciate you being so open ❤️.

I`m depressed too. Have you ever considered adding a few warmer colours or decoration to your appartment because it`s really greyish/black/silver/white, very clean and a seeming a little bit cold. It has a big effect, believe me.

In love with this content, so comforting and needed! Not every day is the day to be THAT girl.

Wow, wow, wow. As soon as I put this on, I felt the urge to clean around my place. Thanks for sharing days like this. I love your honesty about how depression can impact even the smallest day to day things ❤️

I feel like I've never heard anyone talk about struggling with the simple emails like I do its always the ones that I could easily get back to asap or aren't remotely anxiety provoking, and sometimes even exciting and urgent, but I always seem to avoid responding and find "other productive" things to work on till I can no longer avoid the emails lol. Same with texts! From the most important people!! Like what? Anyways I'm obsessed with you Payton thank you for sharing your life with us!

When you said “you sit in it” was music to my ears. The last therapist I saw said that was the key to managing depression. Being equipped with the tools to get out of it sometimes isn’t enough. I’m great at turning off my feelings or thoughts, but then they reappear. Sitting in it and determining the why I feel this way; what triggered it, etc is a game changer. Accepting it and acknowledging it helps in a weird way. We all have the answers within, we just never take the time to listen. I do exactly what you do to work towards making the shift. When my house is orderly I start to feel better. It’s at least a step in the right direction. We are all too hard on ourselves. I know I’m my worst enemy. The mind is a powerful thing.

I love this video. Thank you for speaking about it ❤️ I have the same problem with my depression. Unfortunately I can't do that much like you did. So, wow, well done! It's a lot for a depressed person! Greetings to you, Susanne

I feel all the emotions to my core in this video. Never before have I heard someone explain their anxiety/depression where it resonates so deeply within me and feels like you know me. My anxiety and depression symptoms manifest the same as yours and I truly understand (for better or worse lol) what you are going through. When I listened to your podcast episode about your depression and anxiety I realized that im not alone and there are others that feel the way I do. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open. It has truly helped me.

I really feel u and appreciate your honesty. It's hard to always see the happy times on social media when feeling badly ❤

Don't you feel like the depression might take over and you'll do smth you Don't want to? I am so scared of that but I am also very tired. Its been so long

Ive Struggled with depression and anxiety for so long it's a lifelong battle it's not something you can ever just snap out of I hate when people say just change the way you think that's easier said than done I think there's ways to cope but again finding those ways that help is hard I commend you on being vulnerable and able to really show the realness of how depression gets it's different levels and I also hate when people think of depression as bipolar disorder because it's two separate conditions they always try to group mental health and illnesses together I applaud you on your honesty hang in there don't give up I def know how serve it could be we need supportive people around us that truly help instead of judge but a lot of people are alone going through this

Thanks for sharing a day in a life while depressed. Going through an episode myself and managed to get up and clean the kitchen while watching this. Appreciate it.

Just wanted to comment and say thankyou for such an honest video. Very relatable especially because a lot of videos are still a bit too 'glossy' for my liking where as yours feels very real and honest. I sooo get the work email thing. It fills me with dread looking at my work notifications and emails wondering what they want out of me next. I've had a lot go on this year. My mum is terminally ill, I'm also grieving a friendship that was toxic and I'm struggling with work as a result and my job is very full on. Hopefully I'll dare to look at some of my emails tonight 🫣 Anyways peace and love ❤

I absolutely love your content. Its so authentic and even when youre talking about a heavy topic like depression you manage to make me laugh. Taking the moldy part off the bagel part was relatable 😂 anyway, hope your days continue to get lighter and better. I hope you know that at least for me, you give me some comfort with your videos. Thank you!

Can you please please do a video about your PCOS, and what you do!! I just got diagnosed with PCOS and it’s been hard to find information from women who personally have it and what works for them!!

This vid hit home. Thanks for sharing a realistic pov of living with depression ❤️ it’s so much more than simply being “sad” and you really captured the daily subtleties

Thanks for sharing. I love this content. I think none of us should invalidate one's feelings. Sending hugs from us!🥰

I really loved this video. Been stuck in this headspace a lot lately. Question: how do you keep from mindlessly scrolling through social instead of being productive? I was a complete blob yesterday and I just couldn’t get off my damn phone.

Omg I’m the same way when it comes to checking my emails etc. and when I’m not checking them I’m anxious about the fact it’s taking me too long to check them 😭 loved this vlog, i could totally relate to everything you said so thank you 💝 do you have the link for that ring?! That tracks your sleep etc. I want one 😊

pulling the one piece of mould off the bagel because it's the only food you have because you cant go to the shops is the most relatable thing ive ever seen

That post-festival depression is real! Lack of sleep, crazy schedule, and drugs and alcohol all wreak havoc on our hormones, and you're also having to catch up on real life responsibilities because of the time away. Glad you are able to be gentle with yourself when dealing with this. Sending love and cleaning as I watch this ty

I feel so seen! Thank you because I have truly felt alone when I get into my depression/anxiety/unmotivated slumps

thank u for this, for being real, I have never related to anything more, depression is with me always and to see that someone else also feels this way makes the world feel a little less heavy. I love you and all your advice

Thank you for sharing. It's nice to see realness on RU-vid and not just all the highs because life has a lot of lows.

thank you for this!!! feeling the exact same way with an episode sneaking up on me rn

when you said this is for my depressed girlies I was like 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

i get anxious with certain emails too!

i'm not only depressed , but I can't even love people Yah for sure i’d tell them that i love them or im happy that I have them but idk its just my brain or my heart can not accept them I’ve been suffering this since i was a kid and now im almost 20yo searching for a way 2 love my people

" i was watching a serial killer thing and it's kinda bumming me out " lol we love her

I loved this vlog just as much as the others. I've been trying to relearn healthier systems that work for my adhd but a lot of what you were talking about was relatable with internal to do lists, being hard on yourself, can't complete basic tasks at times! Thank you for being honest & vulnerable 🤍

I have been diagnosed with 4 things.avoidant personality disorder,major depressive disorder,social phobia,and adhd.I was diagnosed as bipolar so guess the medication is helping with the manic episode’s so I know how you feel. I have gained like 40 pounds from my mood swings medication and that doesn’t help.

I always used to watch videos of a day in my depressed life ... And be like r u serious its not real.. why to be depressed when there are lot of reasons to be happy. But after being diagnosed with depression recently.. I can feel that bro 😭😭😭.. I can feel that 😭😭😭😭😭 ... It's hard .. I don't think there is any purpose of life .. like whats the point of living and running towards everything when u have to die one day 😭😭😭😭😭

I very much appreciate how you approached the topic of depression in this video and said that it's something that lives within you and comes out on occasion. I suffer from chronic and debilitating depression and anxiety so it's interesting and refreshing to see it from a different perspective. Thank you for sharing! 💗🥺

Thank you for being so open! Love your vlogsssss - you got this 💪 👏 ♥️

Are you sure this is depression? It doesn't sound or look like it. Drinking is definitely not going to help. Try going out for a walk.

Thank you for sharing, I’ve dealt with it my entire life as well, I understand the struggle. Take care ❤

it's amazing that you talking about it and keep doing it pls and way you get better

I saw you in my dream tonight! We had a beautiful talk about mental health and depression, and then I see this video 🥺🤍🤍🤍

If anyone reading this is feeling depressed, remember God loves YOU. He loved you so much, he sent his only begotten Son down to die for ALL your sins, past, present, and future. Turning to Jesus is the answer rather than mind altering drugs. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! You can get saved TODAY by grace through faith on Jesus alone (Acts 16:31), not by our own good works or deeds (Ephesians 2:8-9). Believe the gospel (1 Corinthians 15:3-4) in humility, confess to God you are a sinner in need of a saviour and get saved with eternal life FOREVER (John 3:16, Romans 10:9) YOU WILL NEVER LOSE IT. God said to exalt his WORD above his NAME (Psalm 138:2), read his word found in the inerrant, infallible, and inspired King James Bible (2 Peter 1:21, Psalms 12:6-7). Once saved, always saved. Anyone who places their faith and trust on God the Son SHOULD want to please God, they should want to refrain from sins and they should want to spread the gospel (good news). Once saved with a new spiritual birth, God the Father becomes your father and will bless you for your good deeds. Will bless you for spreading instructions on salvation from Hell. Love to you all, Andy

Thank you for keeping it real. Grateful for your honesty and transparency

Thankyou for posting this, its been a really comforting watch :)

Omg I fell more in love with you after this video. Thank you!!!! I myself struggle with depression and omg you encapsulated it so well and this was very refreshing to watch knowing that I relate in literally every way 😂 love you! Please do moreeeee of these!

i needed this today, thank you for sharing

This video came in at the right time Payton. I'm going through a depression and you just inspired me to (a) vlog about it lol, and (b) call my bestie so we can do something fun together. You're an absolute gem girl, sending all the love!

Payton thanks so much for this it was so relatable and felt so good to know im not alone 😂 currently in a depressive state too. It sucks. But, good things are coming ❤🎉 thank you for this!

Thank you for sharing your struggles with depression & how you try to get out of it. Even though there’s more mental health awareness lately, I think there’s still a lot more that society can learn…and make everyone more understanding & supportive if people around them are suffering. I think the strategies you used to help yourself was so incredible. You cleaned up so much!! Anyhow wanted to send you some love & positive energy all the way from Toronto!! Take Care!!💕💕💕

Thank you for sharing all of this ❤️❤️❤️

I used to have a lot of depressive episodes and i just couldnt do anything. I had fears of going to school and that there was no point for me to even go to school if nobody cared about me. I binged ice cream while watching other people being happy which was very unhealthy for me. However i feel better as summer comes and i feel better now and watching this makes me feel like im not alone 🫶 Edit: i was diagnosed it was NOT self diagnosis

just finished studying. ty girl🥰

I don't have a job anymore because of my depressive episodeim currently in right now 💔

Wait, I love this content so much. I can relate to literally every second of video😂 we love her P

When im feeling depressed, i wouldn't manage a single thing that you did in this video...i honestly feel like my depression must be very severe. What you did in one day i might get done in a month. Wow, i literally feel worse right now...

ugh you are truly my favorite content creator (i know u hate influencer) your transparency is so refreshing and authentic

I'm somewhat depressed as well and I know got decent job but getting tired of it and family but happiness that I used to get seems like it's in the rear view mirror

thank you for this

very cool, what you reached in your life, although you suffer suffer from depression. I have so much respect for you!

Brilliant Video, thank you for sharing!

Am making breakfast then, i will clean, along with you, very helpful 😅.

Thank you for this!

howt u drink coffee and have anxierty, u have easy anx

i appreciate you and your content so so much

how can you do all these things and record it, I barely can get out of bed and eat something

Proud of you for getting your life together while not feeling yourself! 👏🏼 As a therapist, I know how hard it can be to muster up motivation and use your coping tools when you're feeling down in the dumps. One tip l will add is that coffee on an empty stomach is a major no no for anxiety 😖 def don't recommend if you're feeling super anxious already. Hope you're feeling yourself again now 😊

Proud of you P ✨💙

why is my depressed ass exhausted just watching her clean 🤣

Thank you for sharing! ❤️

Thank you Payton 💖💖💖

This helps me so much rn ! Before that video I didn’t know that you struggle with depression and anxiety and you are such an inspiring person and you’ve reached quite a lot in your life and thats so inspiring because I am currently at that stage of depression where I don’t think it can get better and I don’t think I could reach anything in my life. Thank you for this video ! I am so proud of you for fighting ! 💗

Completely felt like this today. Watching your video actually inspired me to get up and wash the dishes and do a few things around the house 🌸

It’s not negative, it’s neutral. And we love the visuals to go with the podcast shenanigans 😂🤍

Stop glamorising depression!

Didn’t realize how bad a needed to see this video. Thanks Miss P for sharing these parts of your life with us 💗

It was healing to watch this. Thank you.

you should consider having your brain scanned by Dr. Daniel Amen you’d love it! Life changing. 💚

Thank you P ❤️

My brain hates me too 😂.

you are a goddamn queen for sharing this with us. thank you

Genau so geht es mir mit mittlere depressive episede

YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!! We’re all human and it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious sometimes. A very wise mall Santa that I met, back in 2018, once told me that “even on the cloudiest day the sun STILL shines behind those clouds meaning that no matter how dark it looks, the sun is STILL there and the joy and happiness is there for you as well”. No matter how scary or how uncomfortable things get for you, just know that everything’s going to be okay because you deserve to feel safe, loved, comforted, encouraged and for those who loved you and who really want to help u and be there for you and stay by your side either way. Whether from friends, family or anyone you trust and feel safe with. I maybe an autistic women whose probably may or may not have had a lot of panic attacks but I can honestly tell u. I’ve had anxiety attacks due to my fear of failure in school or at work and not being good enough as a person and losing my job and I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for quite a long time so I do understand perfectly well the feelings of worthlessness, lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, self hatred, loneliness, feeling trapped, frustration, remorsefulness, insecurity and the feeling of wanting to get try to better yourself but always coming out as a failure. Plus having been through Covid and being forced to follow Covid safety protocols like many others, myself, has been deeply traumatizing and extremely difficult for me as well socially, mentally, physically and emotionally. The point is, your anxieties, your depression and everything mental health related DOES NOT define u for who you are, it’s what’s inside your heart and all the things we’ve accomplished in life and the kind of person u REALLY are in your heart that truly defines u for who u are. Some people are not gonna always understand what you’re going through and maybe they never will but as long as you have the people in your life who loved and cared about you or that special someone whom deeply loves u and genuinely cares about u and will do anything in the world to help u to overcome this, you’re gonna come out even stronger and more courageous than ever and before you’ll know it, you’re gonna surprise people by how far you’ve come in the end. The fact that you had the courage to make this video and open up about your inner struggles and your vulnerability REALLY MAKES U A MUCH STRONGER AND BRAVER PERSON IN MY BOOK. Give yourself a pat on the back. U did an amazing job!! 😊😊 Stay strong, have courage, be kind to yourself, take heart and NEVER EVER give up hope because you ARE beautiful and practically perfect just the way you are in every way . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

It ain't real

Are you on hormonal birth control by any chance? That made me have the worst mental health for ten years

thanks

I’ve been fighting depression for so long, for the past 35 years. Your video helped, thank you for sharing

My anxiety rose when I saw your sweatshirt because I’m a eagles fan 😂 but I definitely support this video. I was uploading something similar as well ❤️ much love to you

You’re wearing a cowboys shirt and you said f*ck in the first 30 seconds… I’m in. 🖤

I feel so much better after watching your videos… Thank you!

You make me feel comfortable

“My brain hates me” FELT

You can have everything and yet you hate your life so much that you think the only thing that will take the pain away is ending it all. I want to encourage you to fight and seek help it will get better

Stay strong, you are NOT ALONE!