Dealing With Depression On The Autism Spectrum | Patrons Choice 

Don't forget that depression doesn't necessarily feel like sadness. Fear or anger for example also are very common.

Depression for me is like this: I feel heavy. Doing stuff feels like too much work. I can function near 100% perfectly, but I would rather not do anything unless I have to. Also, I get bored easily, and because I am not really doing anything, I feel bored all the time. It begins eating at me from inside-out after a while. I feel that the ability of autistic people to obsess with things is almost like a coping mechanism against feeling depressed, because obsessing over something interesting and spending time to read about it is pretty much the only way to actually go through the day without feeling it was too much and you don't wanna go through that again.

Brought me to tears a little bit. After 15 years of struggling with mental health and going through extensive therapy for 2 years now, I've only recently been correctly diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome as the underlying cause of my issues. I had been very succesful at 'masking' my autism, sadfully to my own detriment. People that know me even say it's the last thing they suspected me to be diagnosed with. This new-found awareness made me stop blaming myself for my emotional struggles and shortcomings and my suicidal thoughts have been lifted. At 28 years old I can now finally start to begin maintaining a healthy mind and life. Going to therapy saved me and in all these years I never imagined me to arrive at this point.

Sometimes depression isn't feeling sad. Sometimes it's feeling nothing at all. No sadness, no anger, no happiness.... you are only existing. But thank you for this video. I'm still waiting for my first appointment to get a asperger diagnose but struggle with recurring depression since I was 15 (I'm now 33) and sometimes reminders like your video are necessary. So thank you again! (and yes normally I love my time alone and have plenty of things I can do... But when I'm depressed everything is to much alone is to lonely but other people are to stressful too. I then like to have a pet around!)

I'm fairly sure I've been depressed most of my life, with periods of being quite upbeat here and there. Now I'm at a stage where most of the things I used to enjoy have fallen away. Can't tell if it's just because I'm older, or if it's really a bad thing. I think we are putting out energy into the world for a while, and at some point we withdraw and retreat. There's a sadness that comes with this, but I'm not going to fight it. Not making any great point here. Feels good to finally say this to whoever is out there.

For me, when I am severely depressed I feel nothing. I'm numb and unable to do anything. Clinical depression is even worse than sadness because sadness is at least an emotion.

Some things I try to do to make me not feel worse then I already do: Fill my waterbottle before going to sleep so I can still have something to drink even if I can't get myself out of bed. Make my bed every morning because it makes me less overwelmed. Always have a warm sweater and socks by my bedside so that it's less hard to get out of bed because it's cold. Open my window at least a short while in de morning or when I get out of bed. Always have food in the house that I know I'll eat even if I really don't feel like eating. (rice crackers with salt, my favourite potato chips and just plain white rice in my case) If it's really bad I'll keep a snack near my bedside so I can al least eat something. Try and tidy my space every evening for at least 5 minutes. Keep my workplace as tidy as possible to prevent getting overwhelmed. (Even if that means shoving a bunch of stuff that I don't know where to put in a special place/box to get to later) Trying to change into "real" clothes, but not forcing myself to do so. Always have a stim toy nearby. (Otherwise I'll literally pull my own hair out of my head as a stim) Getting my groceries delivered at home because stores are really overwelming for me. (I'm a student so it's an investment but totally worth it) Always have handcream and lipbalm nearby. (Dry hands and lips are a sensory nightmare for me and really painfull) I hope some of these things are useful for someone :)

Almost 33. Living with Aspergers is a cruel joke by mother nature. Every aspect of life gets hit.

Even as a "neurotypical" I found your video to be exceptionally helpful.

The loneliness I can deal with; it's the rages that eats me. I've found walking all day is an extreme treatment, but it does help me move on.

Yep. My alone time now has me feeling really distressed and angry and unable to calm myself down. I keep just trying to distract myself with meaningless busyness just to stop myself thinking and feeling. So im not getting calm down time and im actually not being productive and getting the important things done.

I can't even remember what being happy feels like. Honest to God, I really don't quite know what that's supposed to feel like.

Wow this is super helpful! Now I have new more techniques to identify the "stuck in sadness". When I'm stuck, I avoid to be alone with my thoughts since they aren't reliable. I kind of treat myself like if I was a crazy person 😂 (my thoughts aren't real). I also do the bare minimum based on pure logic and try to "celebrate" on small wins, like getting off the couch or washing the dishes 😂

I experience drastic fluctuations in my emotions every single month. I'm a complete different person from week to week and its difficult to handle the constant waxing and waining. I try to remind myself its just like the change of seasons and one always follows the others and the planets play more w us than we know.

1:43 - This is literally the worst feeling. Knowing that by *both* society’s standards and your own that something that should be making you happy, doesn’t. More than anything else, it’s the looks and the attitudes I get from this phenomenon. To be misunderstood as ungrateful ironically makes the struggle worse.

I'm 60, and finally got diagnosed at 56 after a lifetime of the sorts of problems you can probably imagine: social anxiety, difficulties with making friends, ostracision, emotional disregulation, inability to sustain relationships... and then, in more latter years, depressions (including two serious suicide attempts, both pre-diagnosis). My diagnosis has proved to be double-edged. It helped me to understand my life at last. It helped me to realise that I'm not 'wrong' or 'faulty' or 'stupid'... but that I have a condition which affects my behaviour and emotions in certain ways, and makes me more sensitive than most other people to some environmental conditions, stimuli, etc. So - that was all positive. The negative side of it has come down on me more during the last year. It's due to the reflection that so much of my life has, in effect, been wasted in the wilderness of unknowing. In many senses, I feel, my progress - educationally, socially and professionally - has been blocked off or retarded. I found myself on many occasions - particularly when younger - being unable to do certain things, without really knowing why. It was like life was a huge ship steaming off ahead of me and I was paddling along in my canoe just behind it, trying hard to catch up - but never being able to. I found myself unable to reconcile my difficulties at school (I learned nothing, was bullied throughout, and left with no qualifications) with the fact that - as I later found - I had a genius-level IQ which got me into Mensa. I still struggle with learning anything - largely, I think, due to undiagnosed ADHD (I've had a referral and am awaiting a diagnostic appointment). In my 43-year working life, I've had 28 jobs. I've never been able to stick in one for very long - mainly due to issues like stress, bullying, periodic depressions, etc. I currently work as I have for all of my working life - in a minimum wage job, with little security. The upshot of what I'm trying to say is... I know very well what's at the root of my depressions - my overwhelming and constant sense of sadness, fatigue, loss and dejection. It's precisely that: my life feels like it's been wasted. I know I can't turn back the clock. I know that at least I have a good level of self-reliance and self-awareness. I know that I have abilities that I can work with. And I know I still have a lot to be grateful for in having a job, an income, somewhere to live and no debts. But life, to me, simply feels like going through the motions now. The only thing I really look forward to is retirement in 7 years, when I don't have to worry about work any more. That's it. Sorry - I know it sounds self-pitying, and I hate that. But there it is. No medication will take it away. No therapies will help (tried them all). It's acceptance of who I am, where I'm at... and what I've missed out on.

Sadness and depression are quite different. Sadness can very often even be pleasant in its own way - if you have time and a reason to be sad you can simply process what is going on inside your mind and that activity can even be enjoyed in its own way. When I am sad I am more aware of how much some people matter to me. Depression on the other hand is not feeling anything at all - you don't wont to move any of your muscles, you don't wont to think, plan or, in severe cases, carry on with your life. The only thing you feel is simply the awareness of being alive and sick. As the author of the video said you can make that state much better by eliminating self-anger and understanding the emotional process behind it. Although, from my own experience I can tell that being depressed always involves some degree of suffering - especially if experienced in solitude. It's like the brain was switching to a different mode in which positive thinking is just not available.

Your videos never fail to make me cry lol. For me my good days typically are neutral days. I don't know if I have really had very many happy moments. Most days I'll recognize what I am doing is fun but I want nothing more than to go home and be in my own space on my own. And the whole time all I can think about is how I am out all day and wasting time when I could be doing something else which doesn't make sense since my life typically isn't productive and those moments are when I'm being the most productive than I have been in a long time. If that makes sense.

My 30 year old son has been going through this his whole life , he has been Misdiagnosed So many times , I wish I would of known about this , he has a son who is 7 who was diagnosed with Aspergers a few months ago . Your videos are so helpful. My son self medicated with deep depression and has always said he’s not normal but never made under a 4.0 in anything . Praying he can get through this

I thought I was chronically depressed until I found out I had ASD. Now, when I get low on energy I understand why, and that really helps with managing my way through a hard day.

6:00 I'm losing interest in my special interest. After I experienced extremely traumatic circumstances I am finding it difficult to continue with my thesis, and special interest on Debt, excess deposits, and bank call reports. Things I'm doing: Bought a used prius so I could afford the mental health camping trips. So far doing Hot/cold water therapy at hot springs. Next week will swim in the cold water ocean everyday. Slowly working on my upward spiral.

Hi. Actually my depression is mostly due to my Ptsd. As an Autistic person, as you know too..im an easy target for trauma since everything was difficult i have faced in my life..angst and anger because of bad experiences. This hasnt been mostly regulated yet by my "information center" For a np person this might be much easier to.solve unlike "us" To heal we want to understand how and why and sometimes, to put in place. Its difficult when you were not allowed to express your difficult emotions in your childhood.. out of fear being punished again. As long as this hasnt been solved, concious or unconciously this constantly keeps repeated herself in your being..and it comes out as depression. So its not that im depressed for no reason..not at all..i have been battling and suffering all my life and i understand now why.

This help a lot, thanks. You're the first channel to talk about autism that actually talk to the autistic person. I feel that you are talking to me directly and that it comes from experience. Thanks for helping me understanding myself and not feeling ashame about not . Much love from Québec!

seems like an endless cycle for someone like me with aspergers - my mom died early and i never had other family. i live alone in the world now and have no social interaction. no friends. i'm so "off" because i haven't even had "practice" to mask. nobody even gives me a chance. i'm just wasting away in my depression, and nobody even sees me...

you explained it rather well. I've just recently learned about emotional intelligence..It helps one plod through all the things flying around in your head and narrow it down to things to deal with

One of the many things I love about this channel is how Paul actually takes the time to explain somewhat complex ideas, in a very easy to understand layman way, so the concepts actually stick. This is so helpful. I am very appreciative of this post. Thank you. 🥰

I know you've oversimplified this so this isn't a criticism, just a separate point - but I would argue depression isn't related to sadness at all. Sadness is the thing that helps you cry and move on. I wish I felt sadness. Depression was described to me once as 'anger turned inwards', which I think is fitting. Anger, despair, hopelessness, dread - I think these are the main aspects of depression.

Okay, but what if the entire point is that I don't know how to foster relationships and don't have access to affection? Kinda feels like you're saying I'm just fucked.

Thank you for getting up and talking about this in front of the whole world. I watched this clip and learnt a ton about myself, myself motivation and even found answers to questions I've been asking myself lately. So once again thank you and keep up the great work 😁👍🏻

You are a natural in the field! I’m a DBT therapist and everything you talk about here are real techniques to help when in a depressed state. I’m also someone who has lived with depression since a child and I love your description of the experience. As someone who knows a lot of people that are autistic, including my family, I really appreciate those tips on how to know if you are depressed when also autistic. Thank you for everything you do for the community!

These videos are my 'music,' my 'movie,' my 'books' at this time. They keep me company. They soothe me. And they entertain me. So glad for their accessibility!

Being super logical, it can also help to look at the logical functions of feelings. In this case sadness : What does sadness do? It reduces your movement. Makes you stay in bed. Prevents you from "doing things"... why would a brain avoid "doing things", or "making decisions"? Because the brain has detected there is an error, the outcome is not matching the expectations. And so, it slows down your body to prevent further mistakes. So, being "healthy sad" is a good thing. It can prevent injury or further losses. It gives your brain time to "rewire", to find solutions. Depression is when your brain gets stuck and cannot see a solution. Likely, because the solution is not within the options you already have. Thus, part of the "cure" is to go out and get exposed to new situations, new people, new places, new ways of seeing things. Which gradually helps to add "new options" to the library, and correct your decision making process in the "circuit". Similarly - anger. Anger is when a decision needs to be made, you feel in danger, a lot depends on it... but things are simply not working, there is no "control". Say, you are in a battle, and you reach for the sword, but the sword is not there, it had fallen off... that's sad, but anger could be a good way to prepare for bare knuckle fight for your life that's about to happen. So, anger will activate primal decision making, at times when your brain detects "expectations are not meeting the outcome". Happiness is the exact opposite. It energises you as more and more "action reaction" chains are correct. As you become better and better at something. Which again, is part of the cure of depressive states - getting exposed to new situations, skills, challenges. Similarly, we have tears of sadness and tears of joy. Tears literally mean your brain is "melting", neurons are disconnecting. Tears of sadness - when you stop expecting something good. Expectations are being removed, when you realize something good is no longer plausible, needs to be erased from decision making tree. Teas of joy is the opposite - when you stop expecting something bad is going to happen. Say, you made piece with the thought you will die from cancer, and then the results come that you (or your close one) are cured... Emotions are very rational and serve the purpose of regulating decision making tress in the neurons. It's very primal, and imprecise sometimes. The chemicals can go wrong in extreme cases. But the chemicals are so old in evolution chain even lobsters have the same mechanism. A lobster who loses a fight for territory, crawls under a rock, and it's serotonin level drop to a point where it's entire brain melts - and a completely new brain grows. A new brain, adjusted not to fight bigger lobsters. And then it recovers, and wins the next fight... Funny enough, human anti derespants can actually stop the process within a lobster. Same way they stop "out of control" meltdown in human brain, from melting too much information too fast.

Here's what I learned about depression, after 15 years. Depression IS physical. It is also neurological, simply for the fact that your brain is itself a physical entity. It IS indeed some chemical imbalance. And as a result, like I say now, your brain is f**ing with you. Everything you see, everything you feel, everything that happens to you, all seem negative, terrible, signs that you're a failure, and a terrible person, that nobody likes you, etc etc. And your brain keeps churning these negative thoughts over and over, no matter what you do, and you're stuck in this incredibly sad universe. It doesn't matter if your friend or spouse tries to "cheer you up". Your brain doesn't want that. Nowadays, there is "medication" against depression. But I never wanted anything to do with that. As a good Aspie, I decided to fight this on my own and in my own terms. One day, I saw on TV a doctor talking about it, who said that a good remedy is omega-3. You can get omega-3 pills, for sure, but he also said that some foods have large quantities of it. One food he mentioned is sardines. He said it's one of the best. All right. I like sardines, so I decided I'd give it a try, get myself a nice little lunch of sardines in jalapeno pepper oil, with some crackers, good cheddar cheese, and fresh carrots (I love carrots). Once a week. And, believe it or not (nobody wants to believe it when I talk about it), but it does work. For some reason, it just helps your brain "get back on track". The last time it happened, about 2 years ago, I was really depressed for about 2 months, after I'd been fired (again... typical isn't it?). Anyway, I just kept swimming in this sea of negative thoughts. So anyway I got myself my sardines. And that time the result was just spectacular. I woke up the next day. My personal situation had not changed by one bit, still bad through and through. And yet, suddenly, it didn't feel that bad, I sensed that I could work my way out of it, and that there were still good things along with the bad. And I was just baffled by how my outlook could so dramatically change overnight! So whoever reads this and suffers from depression, at least give it a try. I may not work for you, but it does for me. Now, other things help too. I now have a spouse to whom I can talk about it, and she understands. She doesn't try to cheer me up, or minimize it. She's just understanding and supportive, and that makes such a huge difference. Now when I start to feel depressed sometimes, she just gives me a hug and tells me it's going to be OK and she's there for me. And so I don't feel pressure to "not look depressed". I can just work my way out of it at my own pace. Now, I've been almost totally depression-free for two years, and boy, that feels so good. So, sorry for the long comment, but that's what I had to say. Good luck to all of you who are suffering the same, I love you, don't despair, it can get better.

I wish I watched this years ago. I am still depressed but now I have some tools to deal with it. But I still didn't beat it and I feel I have some mood fluctuations more than I should. In my experience, you need to challenge yourself at a pace you don't feel overwhelmed but at the same time you can't be in your confort zone. You need to move and by hit and miss try to fight your biggest fear and challenge. If it doesn't work, try again. Didn't work yet again, just try again. And each time try to do something different so you get closer and achieve what you want. And of you have good habits as well, that should help you immensely (example: do yoga, go for a walk, exercise, read, talk to someone you trust on a daily basis, do something you love, etc...)

Maybe I’m exaggerating or not but I grew up with autism and it slowly but surely grew into asbergers so there’s that. But since October 2018 I have had really bad depression dealt with a lot of shit that year. Since then I have developed a constant penchant to play the Xbox as my way of a coping mechanism because it’s hard enough as it is to make friends in public as I am not exactly social savvy. I have had just a dire need of solidarity and I have not been happy. Is this accurate to what people feel or am I just another black sheep?

Thanks, really needed some reminder. Peace

I have Aspergers. I've had depression, anxiety, sadness, loneliness and frustration.

I've been discovering over the past several months that I am autistic with ADHD. I've struggled with depression since I was a child. This experience has been one of two times in my life I've felt very much not alone. I know this video is a tad old, but it was suggested to me today. Thank you.

This was extremely helpful! Thank you do much!! I know how much happier I feel if I have been exercising regularly, but I always talk myself out of doing it because I am too tired. I just need to overwrite that and do it anyway 😊 Thank you for making that click! ❤

I have asperger's and I'm a Christian. It's sad and upsetting because some in the church label anyone with mental illness depression autism bipolar add adhd. As just people that want to be that way and they are just sinners who love and freely chooses being depressed. It seems allot in the calvinist movement have this arrogant attitude. I cannot stand these kinds of people. Worse some deny the existence or the fact that the brain can get sick and have abnormalities. I've struggled with being autistic and having anxiety and depression all my life. Autism has its pros though we who have autism asperger's can have good long term memories good at detail good on specifics sometimes good at art. My family on my dads side has allot of mental illness. I dont read the bible very often though because it doesn't help or make me feel better but rather worse. Thanks for the video buddy. Very informative♥️

Depression to me is a feeling of hopelessness and wanting to go to sleep and never wake up again

6:10 ive just been trying to learn to cope with my depression at this point, I don't enjoy anything much anymore and chances are thats not going to change. Ive had it for this long already. On the plus side, even though I don't really ever feel happy anymore, I don't get upset nearly as easily either.

It is taking me a lot of effort to deal with my depression and return to feel nice. When the depression first arrived i started to be in a state of dreaming awake all the time i used to be immersed in literature, philosophy or music theory study and those hours consisted basically in me walking in circles in my house and imagining me teaching philosophy or practicing music, but i was completely incapable of playing the bass for 5 minutes or do the research and write a course even with deadlines to deal with in my job. Only when the possibility of Asperger emerged in the scenario and i wandered through some physicians and they stated that i was dealing with Asperger and depression, and i finally understood my feelings of inadequacy and social weirdness, that i was capable of creating coping mechanisms to regain control of my life and return to feel pleasure in the things i used to love and overcome this moment of stagnation of my life. Thanks for your videos, you helped me to understand better what i was slowly beginning to notice without a discursive formalization. Sorry if my English isn't good, it's not my first language and i don't practice my writing much often.

I lost my mom about a year ago i was just trying to To give encouragement I was told I wasn’t autistic that it ok to move as I tried If I wasn’t then why so meny things ❤ I don’t know

This is one of the most helpful videos ive watched on depression

how can i not get depressed, when one of my 'special interests' is geopolitics? ;)

I like how you said to create routines. And do things you know that are great for your long-term health. That's what I've been doing with health and fitness for the past six and a half years. I knew that the workouts would be hard. And I might be depressed while I'm doing them. But I also knew that if I continued to do the workout, at the end of the workout, I would feel slightly happier. And after working out for months or even a year, my body composition would change. And just having more muscle and less fat would give me more energy. Better hormones, more testosterone etc. I know that being in shape ,personally,helps me be happier. So you're correct about nutrition and exercise. But it's different for everyone. Everyone has to find that thing that can bring them slightly out of depression. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do it. Because while you're doing that you might still feel depressed at that moment. Long term strategies are key. I'm glad I watched this video tonight. I didn't go to work today and I stayed inside the house all day. I was very depressed. I still am depressed but this video does give me hope. And it makes me feel better that there are other people out there that are pushing through days that they know they would rather not be doing anything. For their long term health. Liked and Subcribed.

I understand this but it seems that knowone else around me does. I would be so happy just to know someone who can understand it and not treat me so bad, I do commonly feel that everyone leaves me completely to the side. Everyone just suts on their phone and doesnt even care. Ive spent alot of time around my dad who has never seem to come close to understanding me. And he will buy someone something to eat and i wont eat for 1 to 2 days. I do try to do things but just dont know how to be good enough to be loved apparently. (BTW, im w7 and im down to 135 lbs) , and then ask me to help around the house when im there and yell at me if i dont do everything exactly the way he wants i. I feel that theres tons of people who just use me or get mad at me when they cant. I dont have many people who get me it seems. Its nice to watch these where it seems that someone actually understands what it is like.

You make a good insight with mental illness and thinking about emotional health. My sad or depressed episodes are triggered like a switch. It works the other way too if I can find the switch to trigger release and elevation. Aspergers has an interesting feature I have noticed that separates it from clinical depression. I am still researching, but Aspergers mind almost seems to operate like a circuit board or think of an old telephone switch board. In clinical observations, which I don't always agree with, the quick flip because the switch was flipped or circuit shorted is attributed to "mania" with bipolar or schizo- behavior. The research is small, but research with Ketamine therapy and others that FDA has now cleared for clinical trials, shows benefits in helping find the switches or keys that could help with emotional regulation. These aren't cures, which I don't support that idea of curing autism, but they may help like Temple Grandin said to help remove the "severe" parts so the intensity and impairment issues are milder without losing the unique aspie mind. Even if it's just hearing you, it helps me when I am in sad/stuck mode with bad anhedonia.

Thanks for this video, it has opened my eyes to things. 6 or 7 years ago, I was diagnosed with severe depression and have been since then. All forms of remedy have failed. Just over a month ago, I was verified as autistic. This video makes sense as to why I got depressed in the first place and to why the remedies didn't work for me. In fact, when I was verified, the first thing the doctor asked me was how my depression is now that I know I am autistic. To be honest, since learning about my autism, things are starting to look a bit more positive as I learn about myself by watching videos like this and reading comments from others on the spectrum. I can even laugh at myself a bit now, pick out the innocent off-kilter things I have always done and see joy in them, instead of feeling awkward or weird about them.

I’ve straight with depression for years, been to many therapists and this speaks to me in an important, straightforward way that resonates. ❤ thank you

Your Loneliness, my golly I couldn't unsee it, however, very good video.

Wow asthma is a freaking good analogy for it

Events from 30-40 years ago, still hurt. They still feel fresh. Not brooding. Not dwelling, but if/when they come to mind, they can dive me down.

thank you for sharing 💖

This is so well.explained, Paul. I love the simplicity of 'My body is stuck in sadness'

This was great thanks! Understanding depression and anxiety through the emotions really helps. Usually the emotions come first and they produce the negative thought spirals. But actually the nervous system response comes first - brainstem, then the emotions - amygdala - and then the thoughts - prefrontal cortex. Understanding depression and anxiety through the nervous system lens and the polyvagal theory is also a very helpful framework. Depression also comes from the shutdown/freeze response from trauma/threat to survival whether current, perceived or past trauma triggered. It is a ventral vagal arousal. The freeze response is the "no way out so must play dead" scenario which produces a nervous system response in the body of being physically shutdown, paralysed, fatigue, loss of muscle tone, loss of posture, digestive issues, reduced immune response, sensitivity to cold or coldness in the extremities, after a long time going untreated also causes chronic illness and pain/fibromyalgia; in the emotions it produces depression, depair, hopelessness, numbness, fear, dissociation; and produces thoughts then that match these feelings and sensations - mostly encapsulated by the "I can't ..." "It's pointless" "Can't go on" "Can't live like this anymore" etc. which makes sense because your body is literally shutting down to conserve energy. It is a thwarted fight or flight energy. The energy that was mobilised to fight or flee a situation shutdown and turned in upon the self, frozen in place, short-circuiting the system. It's like having one foot on the gas and one on the break at the same time. Exhausting right? What will that do to the car over time? People pleasing tendencies, otherwise known as the 'fawn' response is also associated with ventral vagal. Anxiety is then produced from the dorsal vagal arousal associated with the fight/flight response. It is a more "I can.." mobilised feeling but is associated with anger and anxiety, again reduced immune response, digestive issues, inability to concentrate, hyperactivity. And then you can move into the second ventral vagal activation mode which is the social engagement system - relaxed, feeling safe, socially engaged and connected. Immune response increases, digestion is normal, hypersensitivity to environment decreases, energy is balanced. It only comes online when one feels safe and relatively stress-free. If you were raised in a harsh, unhealthy, dysfunctional environment or by critical and judgemental parents you were hardwired from early into never feeling safe and never developed the proper nervous system responses. Working with a somatic experiencing trauma therapist can help to rewire your natural responses. It's hard work though, not easy. It's very interesting to look at adhd and autism through the nervous system lens.

Hey Paul, I have not been tested yet. But I believe I have Aspergers, I work as a mechanical technician and have an electronics degree. My struggle is that I tend to get lost in thoughts and over thinking things when I have to troubleshoot or rebuild equipment. I enjoy working but when under pressure or loud noises, I don’t understand why but my mind shut downs and get stuck in a freeze state. Unable to find a path forward. It’s depressing and I feel that my mind just sabotages my progress in life. Tired of being ostracized by others being known as the weird guy or without thinking power.

Honestly your amazing. My cousin has Asperger's as well I bet he would benefit from watching your videos. It's nice to hear how you process your feelings and social interactions. He is not as open with talking about his emotions so your videos really help me to understand him.

I am not alone in recommending psychedelic therapy for depression and anxiety. Combining microdosing with occasional (or at least one time) macrodoses can help you tear apart the loop of depression.

My mum used to have a t shirt like that about 35 years ago. Aspergers lets you remember the oddest things dont it. Ive been depressed for decades, but you get used to it. You have a breakdown every now and then, but hey ho.

I once heard Jim Carrey refer to depression as Maybe just a need to rest from that character you've been playing. Depressed= Deep Rest. & it made me realize that I had been masking too much, & it didn't allow me to be ok with myself. So I let myself sleep more than usual (which I know isn't always good for people) & I spent some extra time alone & told myself that there is nothing wrong with me & it's ok just to be me. & it was a bit hard to feel like I was ok to be me, but it really helped to remind myself of the difference between me & the mask & that I'm not broken. Different is ok. I am ok. I'm not a screw up. There are things I'm great at. & being great at things that are different from other people's skills is actually really needed in this world. Being neurodivergent isn't wrong, it's the other normal. If there was no different, there would be no gauge for "normal". Some animals operate during the day, & some are nocturnal. Neither is wrong.

I can appricate it, I just cant fake it in front of someone... If i care then I would be lying to them by doing so. But still glad someone at least has some grasp on this nightmare (ironic as a person who has not dreaming when sleepin in years...) I am Goth but not an unhappy huan I just cant tell people my honest feelings without offputting them it seems. I fell in love before, still willing and trying but dear N'zoth I am sick of hurting others with my words when I try to spare them my termoil.

7:00 that is annoying: you need to be alone because you're tired because you have Aspergers, but being alone isn't a good thing for depression... 11:35 seeing you talking about your special interest cheered me up because you look like super animated 😃 thanks ☺️👍

Thanks for the video. Some good insights about depression that I can't really argue with, as an aspie who has basically recovered from some pretty severe depression over the past few years. For me it was true what you said - that it wasn't my fault, but once i hit a certain upward spiral i realised that recovering, feeling good, WAS my responsibility. Important because i had a whole network of beliefs about being a victim of my feelings, about being a victim of a society that at the very least doesn't understand depression or really emotions at all. The other part is understanding the energetic mind-body connection in the way they talk about it in somatic experiencing or hakomi therapy. These approaches are really what got me out of my depression for good. I didn't want to live in the domain of feeling generally, anywhere on the spectrum of feeling, including sensation hence numbness...but there absolutely is hope...and it's "in" the body, in feeling the inherent wellness of the body, yes, along with all the pain, and apparent hopelessness, flatness, numbness, despair and so on.

15 years of intermittent serious depression to the point of suicidality and it was rare for me to acknowledge that I was depressed rather than just faking. Another part of that was that mine wasn't necessarily sadness so much as anger and anxiety and crushing hopelessness. It wasn't always anhedonia- lack of interest in life.

I am told aspergers is not autism. I am told every emotion, or problem, or disagreement I have is aspergers.

Try post traumatic stress, CPTSD, and depression .. For me, it's definitely that, not autism and depression. It's horrible people doing horrible sh!t...

I'm not in the spectrum and still this video perfectly suits me as a person dealing with clinical depression. Nicely done, Paul. Thanks. And, yes, "The Upward Spiral" is a great book.

"You're not alone in you're loneliness." You are not alone in you are loneliness. This harms credibility. But that's just me, from an Autistic perspective. Depression is NOT a case of being stuck in sadness. In fact, depression has NOTHING to do with sadness at all. I'd even dare say it's the ABSENCE of sadness.

what about like... frequently going between sad and happy. rarely hitting peaceful

This is my second time watching this video and my second comment. I am on the spectrum and diagnosed with depression. Thank you for your encouraging words that feeling down is not our fault. I can understand why listening to our body and doing things that make us make during happier times is important because our mind and body effect each other. I feel very alone and sad these days. I am stuck reminsing the past. I have started writing a poem in moments of inspiration which i can work on completing when i feel sad again to lift up my energy. I also need to become more physically active and make other better lifestyle decisions in those happy inspiring rare moments of positivity.

Thank you

$$$ for you

Events from 30-40 years ago, still hurt. They still feel fresh. Not brooding. Not dwelling, but if/when they come to mind, they can dive me down.

it is part of being an undermethylator,. it is an actual nutrient imbalance . My labs showed I have almost no nmethylationI .My body has almost zero LITHIUM .am doing The Walsh protocol for this . Ithas been painstakingly slow,. For me it is feeling apathy . Numb to everything . Not wanting to be on this earth anymore .

... your advice to depressed people Is to make a routine when you have lots of energy And "just push yourself" to do it when youre depressed. Thats bad advice.

Just a little thingy, when you’re depressed you may know that the feeling of happiness is up there somewhere, but you just can’t reach it, so please don’t say, remember what it felt to be happy, when you are depressed. And now the good stuff, everything else that you state is at my point of view true, especially what you say at the end ;)

I'm 25 and have basically done nothing since I dropped out of college at 19. Social Anxiety combined with Aspergers makes it impossible for me to do basically anything. I haven't had a job, I haven't learned to drive yet, never been on a date nevermind had a relationship. I don't really go out at all. I just sit indoors playing video games. I normally enjoy video games but these past few months I have been getting decreasingly motivated to play them at all. And the realisation that I will probably never really do anything in my life just makes it worse. I used to have therapy for my Aspergers but due to basically being unable to talk to her and being unable to set any goals, she discharged me. Both afflictions make therapy a no go for me. I'm just stuck doing nothing and it's just not a life. It feels like I did something horrifically bad in a previous life and this is now my punishment. Nobody deserves Aspergers or social Anxiety, I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. It's a living hell.

I have depression have for years n years. Anger, frustration not sleeping , meltdown, not a lot of humour, I’ve got other crap. . Feel bitter ( toxic positivity really makes it worse for me)

I think the most difficult thing for me with dealing with long term depression is I never initially learned what things "make me feel good". The book "the upwards spiral" was really helpful to me as a guide about what a non-depressed person does to keep depression at bay. The issue is I never naturally learned to form those habits/routines, depression is seemingly my baseline mental state, so its a constant effort to keep my head above the water because I'm constantly re-teaching myself those self-care skills which aren't intuitive to me. Like you explained, nothing really feels good when you're depressed, so its really hard and frustrating to put in so much conscious effort daily to do things that I know are good for me without feeling like they're good or helping (even if I know they are bcs of science). It's really painful to look back on my life at age 23 and see that all I've been doing is trying to keep my head above the water for all these years.

Whatever it is, it's trauma

Thanks this video really helps me to understand and support my autistic daughter with her feelings and behaviour. 🤗

Guilt and shame is like a huge depressive trigger that causes it to start depression and is still there as I go through depression until I realize hey,there's no need for guilt and shame,then I start to climb out of it. But the inadequatecy numbness shame s* ideation neutrality and shut down is my cycle.

I’m autistic myself, and I never experienced depression. Although autistic people like me are more at risk for depression.

You mentioned focusing on long term solutions like fixing your diet etc. But it seems those things are extremely hard to do when there is no intrinsic motivation. It seems like a bit of a paradox. Would you have any advice? I don't mean to be negative, I'm looking to help a friend 💌

I dealt with Depression for many years since Childhood. I've been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which I didn't know I had. Had difficulty with socially interacting with others when I was a kid in School.

I am only feeling lonely because nobody understands me, not my father not my mother, not my theraphist, nobody and I am often alone and then I start think like why do I exist and What is the point of my life, my friends are making jokes about me they don't mean it but I just hurts me, and when I am alone I start think about how weird I am because I have Autism, Im just different then others and I don't deserve my family especially my mother, she is trying to help me for 1.5 year, And I don't think I deserve here help

To me, if I'm actually depressed, depression feels like a metaphorical ocean of feeling down or an empty feeling pushing other emotions down unless the emotion is extreme enough to spike through like sadness, extreme excitement, or anger. If it's bad enough that day or week, the excitement will barely last a few minutes. Nothing matters but you go through the motions cause you have to and it's routine. Sometimes talking to people you like can help, but the emotions come back either not long after or the immediate day after.

I just want some friends in real life who are good to me genuinely not fake. Many say me fool because of my autism. I am 24 and feels life is getting tougher and tougher though I have work and live independently.

All the sayings like “you aren’t alone” and stuff like that do absolutely nothing for me. Idk how I’m supposed to feel better knowing that other people are depressed too. They have absolutely nothing to do with me. And either way knowing tons of people are sad all the time too is just depressing.

I didn't know how many words I didn't know how to use properly till watching this video.

Some people in crisis might find themselves accused of attention seeking behaviour or being a hypochondriac so might be frightened off therapy as a result. Right about hugs at the right time sensory regulating and releases anandamide. A good therapist can do smuch good as preventing the hurt which causes the depression, so the autistic person won't need a counsellor/psychotherapist in the first place.

' Liaten to your body. What needs are not being met? ' 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

currently evaluating if i'm autistic. i've been depressed for so long, i don't even know if i ever had a long term special interest.

is hard to make friends cuz people tend to be judgemental

I have to sleep. Making myself do things is tiring. I've learnt to slow down.

Nothing about the common confusion between depression and autistic burnout? It's tricky to see if is depression when you actually "lose some functions" due to the burnout process. It looks the same, you don't get up from bed, don't do anymore your routine and everybody thinks you are a lunatic, the difference is that in burnout mode you still enjoy life but not with all your being. Sometimes you even "lose" from your special interests, same like in depression, but you still have something you can enjoy. Once I lost the ability to like any music, but I still enjoyed watching SF movies from my bed for 4 months. I knew is not depression and I enjoyed my laziness.

For me depression just feels like tiredness, no motivation, ending up doing nothing with no one, while kind of wanting to do stuff but not knowing what and feeling like I have no energy to make the changes. Need to snap out of it...

I had asthma yesterday aswell as depression. If you get asthma it's about a struggle with your life.