David explores his personal experience of a near twenty year gambling addiction, and how friends and family of the addicted can help them. And how not to help them. More of David's story and life can be found at: www.thechrist-centeredlife.com.
Addiction is frequently mistakenly regarded as just being a bad habit that a person can stop by an act of their will. Addiction may also be thought of as simply being a wrong life choice that someone took at some point in their life; a choice that they can change again at any time. People who think like this are in no position to help the addicted, and they should not try to help them. The addicted should stay clear of people whose cheap grace and bulletproof answers clearly demonstrate that they know nothing about addiction.
Understanding addiction and the addicted is a major advantage when seeking to help both the addicted, the relatives of the addicted, and the friends of the addicted. Addiction is not a mere habit, though it may have started out as a mere habit. Everyone therefore needs to be lovingly aware when someone’s habits are ingrained, and you can see that the person is sliding down the road towards addiction. Addiction is not simply an often-repeated wrong choice. The addict has no control over their own life choices, and cannot ‘pull themselves together.’
True addiction is a real spiritual oppression. True addiction is not an illness, it is not a mental health issue, it is not a sickness; though all of these, and more, can promote, or strengthen, addiction. Furthermore, the addict may well have mental health issues, sickness, and other complications, on top of their addiction.
It is possible to be addicted to almost anything in life. Alcohol/drugs/ power/ sex/ money/ gambling/ energy drinks/ ‘normal’ life/ reputation/ etc/ etc/ etc… While there are obvious differences between the addictions, the root oppression remains the same.
All addiction is serious, irrespective of what the person is addicted to. All addiction is serious, irrespective of what people may think of the particular addiction. There is no such thing as a minor, or insignificant, addiction. All addiction is serious. Some addictions, such as gambling, do not directly damage the addict’s body, whereas addictions like drugs or alcohol can do devastating damage to the addict’s body. When a person’s health is continually deteriorating, family and friends should be concerned enough to gently find out why it is happening.
Addiction takes hold because it makes great promises to the addict, but all of those great promises will always remain unfulfilled. The gambling addict is always only moments away from the big win that will pay off their debts and solve all of their problems. The alcoholic is only one last drink away from going sober and getting their life back. And so on.
An addict is utterly unable to stop feeding their addiction, even though the addict may appear to be living a ‘normal’ life. An addict can hold down a responsible job, and even appear ‘normal’ to family and friends. An addict can have a good job in public, but be totally controlled in private. Addicts have a ‘hidden’ loss of self-control. Addicts have their ‘secret’ life - but family and friends will usually know about it. The addict believes that their addiction is secret, that it is hidden; and the addict will go to great lengths to maintain that pretence.
An addict is controlled - but an addict is not out of control. Imposed strength, or a restraining force, on the addict only pauses the addiction. Behavioural modification - forced or voluntary - will never set the addict free. Even a prison sentence will only pause an addiction - it will not stop the addiction, and it will not free the addict.
My personal experience is that most people really do not understand addiction, and that is why their reactions and responses are often very unhelpful. I hope that this video will aid your understanding, promote kindness, and an acceptance of the addict, without accepting their addiction.
An addict is not a problem to be solved, an addict is not a pastoral issue to be addressed, and addict is not a mere thing. An addict is a real flesh and blood human being who is worthy of our respect. An addict is a person who desperately needs our kindness and our understanding. The addict is a real flesh and blood human being who does not need our sniping criticism, and nor does the addict need our condemnation. The addict is a real flesh and blood person who needs the power of the Holy Spirit to work in their life, if they are to be free of their addiction. Watch this video and see how you can help the addicted, as well as the family and friends of the addicted. It will also help you not to make common mistakes when trying to help the addicted.
28 сен 2024