Dealing With Realities You NEVER Wanted? (Watch This) 

This bothers me. I feel for her, but why does the wife say "My husband had an affair...with a minor. The girl is the age of my daughter.... she was either 15 or 16.... he was 23. " I understand how hurtful it is to find out your husband cheated. BUT the girl went to their church? Was their baby sitter?! Lady, that's not an affair, that's called a Predator GROOMING a KID! You think a 15 year old would be Out to steal your husband?! 🤣😂 That's Statutory RAPE. I'm happy HE'S FOCUSING on Child ABUSE, while she's focusing on "my husband cheated. How do I trust him." The way she hesitated when he asked her if the therapist reported child Abuse, and she was taken aback.... she's not getting how serious the situation is. Sorry but F your relationship issues. How about being concerned as a MOTHER, having a TEEN DAUGHTER!!!? Did she not care about the girl he GROOMED?! The .... ACTUAL VICTIM. GOOD JOB, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH EVERYTHING HE has said to her. But I get the hunch that she is hearing, but doesn't understand it.... She doesn't realize a CRIME was committed??!

Unfortunately in Florida if she was 16/17 and he was 23 it falls within the “close in age” exception to statutory rape laws so not illegal. Probably why Florida is so messed up

@@BellaClarie It sounded to me (and I could be wrong) like the woman is so confused and not knowing which way to turn. She really sounds to me like she is pretty much out of it psychologically, and can't see the forest for the trees so to speak (just listening to her speak gives me that idea).

@@paindepices6793 👍

Thank you.

Society man, that's why the word "abortion" was invented, to cover up the word "murder" . It's horrible for what's going on in society these days.

Because she’s trying to protect her world view from shattering. I saw the same thing in my hometown. The wife for the longest time acted like the trial was to prove weather or not her husband cheated on her, and that this was just a humiliating for her. It took some time for her to realize she was also the victim of what her husband did to that little girl, but she would never be met as a victim as long as she kept on attacking the minor he was going after. Finally she sees it for what it is and is getting a divorce while he rots in jail. I try to show grace to these partners. It’s so impossible to accept

Not if it means disrupting her life, apparently.

@Sarah B I was waiting for him to say he was going to have to report this...

Not a mandated reporter for all the children only her students. However, the disregard about child abuse is alarming and infuriating. That man is a threat for children 😔

Most definitely she is! The mentality can get weird for people who's partner is a predator and doing things like this vs reporting others who aren't involved with them personally.

​@@mariee.5912 I respectfully disagree with you. There are federal and state laws on the books that require all people who work with children which include ALL school, church, healthcare, law enforcement personnel, and more, to report neglect, and abuse (emotional, verbal, physical and sexual)...and there is no statute of limitations. The husband, wife, counselor and church personnel all deserve jail.

That's my thoughts as well....I think he's a danger to his own children and obviously NOONE would do anything.

Churches should be taxed

She's a mandated reporter for her students, that was in her personal life, but I get it. Once you work with kids you protect all the children even if they're not in your classroom.

Probably she wake up and realize that she can be in trouble to if that history comes to light wich one day it will

theres children prostitutes in every man club...how do we solve this problem?

@@mariee.5912Not just for her students. A mandated reporter is a mandated reporter. She could lose her credential for NOT reporting.

I read some other replies that suggested local laws there may not make this a criminal offense, so it may be that there is not a legal issue. And may feel helpless to frame it as a crime when it technically is not punishable. I'm no expert but thought I'd point that out and share my agreement. How sad.

@@temposhop8739He was also in a position of power and so many adults knew and did nothing! It doesn’t matter about the technical law. She was a child regardless. When she gets older this trauma will hit her like a bus! Not to mention broke his own family and his own children will be ridiculed. She knew for 5 years and said nothing also. It’s selfish of all the adults who kept the secret so it wouldn’t affect them. His wife obviously knew it wasn’t right or she wouldn’t be worried about her own teenager now!

I don't judge her. .her husband gaslighted and manipulated both of them.

People like this husband usually have to have younger and younger children. This CHILD didn't have an affair, she was abused, manipulated, gaslighted etc. The CHURCH should have reported it as well...... Every adult dropped the ball and who knows how many children he abused

Many child preditors choose jobs that surround them with children. They have power over them and easy access to control them. There are NO responsible adults in this story

It does!

Yes and when you the abused one say. “No, I am drawing immediate boundaries. “ Everyone who likes the abuser as they don’t know them as abusers, turn around and look at you as you’re the problem for “making waves.” When in reality you’re simply trying to save yourself from drowning in despair and depression.

And they'll be the first ones to be talking about how we need to protect our kids because THEY have families. Disgusting behavior all around and nor shockingly, but sadly, coming from church people. And she is only worrying about money, all of them are pos.

Not everyone is quick to report , especially in the church.

@@dianecarman1979 that in itself needs to be broadcasted. Does anyone want their children in a place where if s/a became known to them that they do nothing?

@@hansendesigns I suppose they don't want to believe a member would do such a thing...also men in the church is a valuable resource.

@@dianecarman1979 i see what you’re saying. But in reality, at that point, valuable to whom? That’s just sad patriarchal residue. Best to you. 🌸

She obviously has her own wounds. We can at least have sympathy for that.

Yes she speaks about it like chores .

She needs to report her husband's abuse, her pastors lack of reporting and her therapist lack of reporting. It's terrifying to think, these "adults " are either complicit with child abuse or too weak and cowardly to do anything

​@@marcicisketti4608its extremely common for family to protect the abuser. Most of the time, multiple people are victimized and never reported to anyone. It's almost like being loyal to an abuser is the most important thing.

Yes and while I don't want to paint everyone with the same brush n too her credit she is at least calling the show for guidance unlike many others but let's also recognize not everyone is 100% honest in these calls n their motivation for the call. Many people aren't even honest with therapists they are paying for n it behooves them to be completely honest with. Why is she suddenly calling? Is it really that she now has a daughter that age and as a parent of a 15-16 yr old girl she can understand how bad this was when perhaps in the past not being much older than a 15-16 yr old ( when she was likely a 21-22 yr old when she met her the husband. She may have possibly been a bit angry n blaming of the girl as didnt she say she babysat for them at some point. She in her own way did view this teenager as another woman that her husband had "an affair" with. Had the girl been prepubescent she would not likely have felt the same. As a more mature woman now she likely is carrying some guilt about this was well. In addition to staying with him all these years. The brother likely did recognize something about this guy early on but she didn't need the brothers advice and even married young.. Whether it was because of the rape she said she experienced or simply bc the guy was gorgeous and charismatic and she didn't want to lose him which let's be honest is what drives many relationships especially when people are young. Not simply a reaction to a rape as.bad as that is. It sounds like she even had more kids with this guy once she even suspected. So now yes of course you have dug yourself into a financial hole especially if she doesn't make enough money in her own. Teachers some states make very good money but in many others the pay is still pretty low. John is right with his advice of course but I do think this is a big consideration for her now especially at this time in the economic climate we are in. There is a practical side of things and people are not going to make themselves and their kids homeless in order to change something they have been living with for at least 5 years and suspected for far longer as it's now somewhat normal..id recommend she at least start making a game plan but leaving in the next few months is very unlikely. The brother has generously offered financial help to pay for an attorney but it's not like he's also saying hey you can move in with your 3 kids for the next yr or two. Not is he expected too. Personally I think he's being a far better than average brother to do this especially since he did warn her. At least he's not doing the "You made your bed now go lie in it". Hopefully he is not offering financial help with one hand and a bunch of "I told you so " with the other as that will be destructive in many ways. I can't help but wonder if part of this is coming up bc the husband lost another job. Like if he had recently started a business and was a millionaire would she be looking to leave

They aren't all gone just stuck and not enough respect for themselves to leave. And fearful of leaving, she clearly is concerned about her ability to care for her children but that should not be an excuse.

Yep. The men will do it because the women accept it. Can’t give up the sex life and money!

Men like him choose women purposely. They groom their wives to protect them just like they groom the girls they molest. The girls that are molested if not helped will grow up and often be the same and blame themselves.

It's not necessarily being fine, if you read on narcissist abuse, they keep spouses terrified, brain fogged and keep them so confused with gaslighting and lies that you don't know reality and they turn everything around to blame you or the other victims.

Men marry girls like that too though It’s sad

Uhm, numerous Catholic church priests don't ring a bell? I'm amazed you're surprised this happens in a church.

@jacolisedebeer7358 I think I am agreeing with you... but because it has happened, it doesn't make it any less disturbing for me ...

I was groped all through high school by my band teacher. I finallly got a gf to go in the next practice room every time I had to stay, and he slowly moved off and chose another target. He was a old hippy, groovy dude. But he never outright assaulted, and I didn't want to give up music. The only place I didn't deal with over " handy" men was church where men were very careful as you describe to take extra steps to keep doors open, or have wife chaperones. So no I'm not surprised it happens in some church he's, some schools, some hospitals, wherever evil men hide. It's not God's fault.

Way to go, Momma! That is one strong kid!

I would too! I'd be on the phone with a lawyer seeing if I could sue him if I could

Both the husband and the wife. She knew and didn't do anything. Do you imagine how many kids are in danger? she failed to report it.

Yep, it's the fact that AT LEAST three mandated reporters failed to report it. This system of trusting people who work with children to report abuse only works if they actually report.

IDK but she (and probably many others) will be mentally messed up for a very long time. This child preditor worked at multiple churches with children for many years. Who knows how many lives that man ruined.

I always found kids my age as immature and silly. I hung around with my older siblings friends. That doesn't mean something is wrong with a person

I have a tiny homestead. I could very easily go weeks with seeing another person if I didn't have to work. I don't get lonely and people make me anxious. It's just being introverted. Nothing wrong with it.

I have 2 sons.... Raised the same. My oldest has always been the social butterfly and popular. My youngest is more like me and doesn't like to be around many people

Even as a small girl, I could NOT stand the screeching and screaming other girls did during play. It hurt my head and I couldn't understand what they were screeching about.

That's awesome that you found a career that works great for you. I am actually considering getting into truck driving. Anything you would have done differently looking back and/or supportive resources for women truck drivers that have helped you along the way?

@@marcicisketti4608 Thank you ❤

And I hope she goes to hell for not reporting her pos husband and allowing his abuse and for him to be around kids. Disgusting

Yeah

He found an a used and broken woman who had been SA and took full advantage. Probably groomed and manipulated her as well since she was in college and vulnerable

I think he kept her brain so scrambled she barely knows reality. The Preacher and therapist absolutely dropped the ball.

The husband had been fired from previous churches for sexual inappropriate behavior and NOONE reported that. Just bounce from church to church working with kids.....

If you understand narcissist abuse, you understand her lack of action

Men who knows the age in consent in every state are a big gross red flag.

@@freshfromthecoven13 right? Pathetic

Uummm, just because you COULD do something doesn’t always mean you SHOULD.

In Australia where I live the position of the adult would also affect legality. Eg if the young person was being taught, counselled or provided medical care by the adult they are in a position of authority and should not engage with anyone who is not 18+ or outside of those responsibilities

Why would you stop going to church? There are terrible people everywhere. Will you stop going to work also?

@@KT2005 do most workplaces hold themselves to a moral higher standard whilst preaching, asking for money and judging others? No. Does the church. Yes. All of them. It's baked into the premise of religion

@@KT2005 The places I choose for myself do not skirt these matters under the rug with no law involvement. Every church in my life has a “Moral failing”bull crap term for sexual misconduct. Every. Single. One. You do you. For me and my house, no sir.

@@KT2005 Patterns exist for a reason.

@@KT2005Because at worst most of them are buissnesses and at best they give people false beliefs. The answer to your second question is fucking yes. If a place is abusive you LEAVE.