At some point during the 2014-15 season (so a half year after this video was initially uploaded), the NBA started scrubbing highlight videos that were longer than nine minutes and 44 seconds. The original upload of this video, being nearly fifteen minutes long, fell prey to that unwise new initiative, and the footage was presumed lost.
Until now. Behold, in all its original glory (aside from it being chopped into two parts), the dunkalicious, slamtastic, lobberific 2013-14 DeAndre Jordan dunkilation!
Original description below:
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“It’s been quiet around here lately,” commented Urgorx 77-Q, gazing out the expansive windows of the main deck with boredom. “Kronbub, are you sure that HQ hasn’t assigned as any more planets to initiate the sow/reap process on?”
Kronbub 32-C, sitting at the controls of the spaceship, waved his anterior cilia to demonstrate similar levels of ennui. “We’ve been told to observe for the time being. Apparently, the denizens of the Crob cluster somehow became aware of our attempts to meddle with their so-called ‘athletes’, so we’re not allowed to do any more fun stuff until a full review and audit is conducted. Knowing the jokers over there, cozy in their relaxation spheres, it could be millennia before they even cast their infrared sensors upon our archivo-tapes.”
Porgon 18-F looked up from cleaning her radiation pistol for the 3.743*10^32nd time and flapped her cranial membrane in annoyance. “Are you serious? We’ve still got six whole refrigeration units full of dunking serum that’s nearing expiration.”
“Well, it would be easy enough to falsify our movement logs should we want to take some side-trips,” Kronbub mused. “Wormhole genesis in the Milky Way is very loosely regulated. We could drop back down to Earth and seed that odd sport of theirs, “basketball”, with more dunking talent than their underdeveloped cerebral organs will be able to comprehend, and nobody would ever know.”
Commander Zeeborg 56-A appeared in the door to the stardeck, obviously having just stepped out of the magnetoshower. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I’m in good enough standing with the overseers that we could probably annihilate a whole planetary system with little more than a slap on the wrist. If we wanted to go experiment on Earth some more, I wouldn’t say anything to the higher-ups. It’s either that or watch our holotapes of ‘Grublork and Zendina: Love in the Face of Intergalactic Battle’ again.”
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Part II: • DeAndre Jordan All 245...
All clips property of the NBA. No copyright infringement is intended.
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23 мар 2020
