Woohoo!!! Wonderful sis! Well done! So delightful to see and hear rare virtuous sisters such as (myself) speaking up about abstaining from fornication, adultery, etc and not settling for the baby mama lifestyle. Once in your prime age its even easier to keep it, there's no peer pressure like in elementary, high school and college. There are so many women that wish they still had theres, its a blessing plus rare holy gift of beauty for a virtuous queenly bride to still have it to give to her future kingly husband. "Remaining (chaste) ...pure, holy, & virtuous in obedience keeps me smiling without a FROWN, knowing no man can ever bad talk me & put me DOWN, every time I turn around I get another rare jewel in my CROWN👑. The most high is faithful!" "But for real precious gemstones my Abba covers me in them, I am and forever will always be a royal diadem in His hand." Isaiah 62:3❤️
@@Nkbanah Think about this in a natural perspective with a house. If the foundation of your house cracking under you , you are going to go that root cause, start from there, rebuild replacing yet removing at the same time to make it sturdier than ever before.
Can someone wipe this permanent smile off of my face?! I love seeing men of color producing positive, uplifting and fruitful content! Be well brothers.
Yes, girl that's what I'm talking about I love to sit down with an intelligent bro and have a deep conversation LOOVVVEEE IT yes I do. The mind is deep got to keep up lol
if are ok with sex before marriage you seeking the lord with HALFNESS. After watching at least 5 videos on this channel, ive concluded, its just like steffan and the rest, THIS WHOLE CHANNEL SEEKING THE LORD HALF BAKED AND WITH HALFNESS, ill much rather listen to Process Life channel
I identify with Mr. Barnett and I'm a woman. My mother told me there is a way to argue and express yourself, and once you go "below the belt", then we're having a whole different conversation now and not the original conversation. Safe spaces are SO important! This was good.
Women pursuing men while the man is in “intensive care”. Huge problem!! My husband cheated with multiple women over the course of our marriage and had no problem finding a new relationship with a woman while going thru our 3 year divorce. Yes, she dated my husband throughout the entire divorce process . No time to heal! Women want to believe they can heal a man. Meanwhile, he will take out all of his pain on the new woman and delay his true healing. I knew I could not date anyone due to the level of trauma I experience in that toxic marriage. I found my healing through self love. Thank you.
Always remember, you are strong and never feel bad about what he did to you. Hold your head up and continue to be that beautiful woman God intended you to be.
I'm 33 and while I know these men exist it still feels like the sighting of a rare or threatened animal species lol Jokes aside I look forward to when God allows my future husband and I to meet. Two whole individuals who have put in the work (beforehand and ongoing) and have the maturity (emotional, mental, spiritual) to prove it
He went back to 7th grade. Ladies this show how pain can run deep into a person past. As a Christian We definitely need to have more transparency about sex and relationships and dealing with your own desires male/females. Take the time to heal singleness can really be a blessing. Passing this information along.
Good interview. Why can't more good women and men run into each other? Both sides have the same issue with finding good people to be in relationships with. It is important to be with a man that is emotionally healthy and mature.
My first time listening and I enjoyed it. I was about to get married and I had a mental break down at the alter. It was the most embarrassing day of my life on both sides. I wish I knew that I needed healing before I got in a relationship with her. Because I broke down and since then I been having mental health issues. I been in mental facilities and near suicide attempts. Men we need healing before we pursue any relationships. I'm loving this podcast thanks. Keep me in prayer please because this is the hardest season of my life
I enjoyed this podcast so much. Ladies, a kind advice please seek God first, the more you know God, more you will know yourself. Also it's impossible to journey with a man if you don't understand the psychology of men. Let's thrive to be what God want us to be in a man's life which is a "helpmeet". Praying that this pandemic will be used to heal us so we can start building legacy and expand God's Kingdom.
I like your adopted son Armani, it's refreshing...to hear that. I pray he does find a virgin wife and they can discover together without pressure of memories of the past. Shout out to all the brothers waiting, virgins still and choosing to wait again.
Tell Jay NOT TO DATE! His relationship with Abba is so solid, that if he can be patient, Abba will bring wifey right to him and he won't have to sift through women to 'find' her.
This is so attractive to me. Seeing a man talk about being vulnerable. And how he regain his confidence. And not letting his pride keep him from sharing like this. I wish the young lady came on the show for this episode. Man, this is a great show guys.
This was a much needed interview. Please do more of these. We need to hear about the emotional parts of black men, as well as what great, saved men want in women.
Dating in today's world is a real challenge as it seems that most men (regardless of age) feel that treating a woman like crap will make her love him more. They fail to realize that an emotionally healthy woman will send him on his merry way. Its sad that now many women are playing the same role, hurting men just bc they were hurt. Seems like we're all suffering from relationship/situationship PTSD. I've stopped dating as a result and have left my love life in the hands of My Heavenly Father.
I don't know how this video popped up in my recommendations, but I'm glad it did. Men absolutely need a safe space to express their emotions. This was an awesome video! I'm also a therapist and going through my healing process as well. I am going through a divorce and have decided to spend this time with God and myself. I am rediscovering who I am and loving every minute of it.💕 Thanks so much for this video and tell Jay thanks for using my name "Tasha" in his example! 🤣🤣🤣
My husband said he knew first date he would marry me. 8 months later it was a wrapped. 17 years later were still here. We love each other I think loving a person is not this googly eyed stuff we see on TV it's harder than that it raw and real.
I just broke up with my bf, after a year, but I know it's not the end. This encourages me that God's promise will come to pass, no mater how it looks now.
I love everything about this conversation. His openness and vulnerability is commendable. I can tell he’s a genuine man. I pray he finds a woman who will genuinely love him and be his safe space 🙏🏾 To any woman reading this, I learned the hard way the power that negative words can have on a man. They can emotionally kill him. While this is not an excuse, it almost always stems from some unresolved hurt. And it often takes losing something or someone to realize this. I encourage women to search themselves and begin addressing those issues now, so you don’t take it out on a man who is trying his best to love you. On the other hand, if you are with a man who is hurting you, triggering that unresolved pain and bringing this type of behavior out you, get out of that relationship ASAP. You need to be in a relationship that cultivates healing, not add to your trauma. Teenage me made a vow that anyone who hurts me, I would hurt them back but worse. 35 year old me made a new vow, that there’s nothing anybody can do to that take me back to a place that I fought hard to be freed from. My future husband deserves a healed and whole wife who will speak LIFE into him, not death. Keywords: HEALED and WHOLE. Ladies, heal and become whole. To any man reading this, I’m sorry on behalf of myself and any other woman that have made you feel anything less than the King God called you to be.
Deep message "cultivate healing, not add to trauma" this should be everyone's desire to add to any relationship whether its friendship or intimate. Thanks for sharing your message.
Been celibiate for 2 years.....being celibate has absolutely changed my life for the better. This definitely makes dating easier & harder. I saw this video in my recommended. I will never forget I was "talking" to a guy and I told me I am not having sex until marriage and I really tried to tell him the benfits of not having sex. This man literally said to me i can't do that, I said bet I wish you the best of luck i have to stand strong in my values.
aGREE! It makes dating so much easier. You get rid of the bad ones quicker. They are not willing to wait or even entertain the idea of dating a celibate woman
The vulnerability expressed by this man is refreshing.....and attractive. 😘 These conversations need to had much more often. I pray my future husband is as emotionally evolved and self aware as Jay. And I equally pray that I properly receive and allow him a safe space in me to share that vulnerability.
"When a person shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou. This was an awesome interview. Continue to stay focused and walking in your purpose. God bless you Jay.
It’s hard to find a man that will express themselves to you. I would want a man to express themselves to me. It’s like pulling teeth. No way would I shut a man down for being transparent.... being with a man who doesn’t open up is like talking to a brick wall!!!
That's why it's so important to ask yourself is this the Mate really for me. Once they express who they are. Do they turn Flighty because they don't want to deal with the real inner you.
But then with some women they look at a man being too sensitive or too emotional when you do open up to women like it’s sad man.. you can’t win for anything
Stephen Gibbs a woman who genuinely wants to get to know you won’t mind you being transparent. The woman won’t go around telling her friends how you opened up and did this and that because she respects you and the relationship.
What’s the pattern you see in the people you date? “I was trying to rescue my mom.” **deep breath** Because that was a deep statement. We go through relationships trying to right wrongs that don’t belong to us. My God. 🙏🏾
@Mesia- Yep, this mortal experience is far deeper than we realize. This guy's been a Counselor for only moments, but has learned so diligently and brought much of his experience to 'the feet of the Savior' for guidance, translation, and clarity. What a student; what a warrior! Pensive and humble, a natural healer is he. I'm a woman and he is certainly lifting me. Go Jay! Reign, you shall. 🤍, MJ
I love this..... I have been divorced for 8 years and I live by being HOT...Honest, Open, Trust.... The word says we are healed by our testimony, right there is the beginning but, I'm loving this..... Great job and this is much needed...
@@shellylong2158 That is a great point. I would agree with you in that is what most people do. You have to be really secure in your identity to be vulnerable. It is impossible to have a secure identity when you tie it to temporal things- which is the American way of life.
She only gave you "content for your calling." You are now a therapist who have gone thru hurt, betrayal and lies from someone once close to you...came out on the other side whole without retaliation. You are able to truly lead your clients based on real life experiences and not on philosophy alone.
God will use all our ashes for His glory and turn something beautiful out of them. But it was not His desire for us to be in ashes. We must first understand those were the choices we made. Like he said, he needs to do more research and discovery phase before giving a woman his whole heart.
A safe space for men to exhale.... Wow! I would’ve love to see the love of God within the atmosphere loving on his men/sons while they grieve, let go and heal!!!! Wow! Incredible. 💕 Thank you guys so much for sharing with us!
Masculine discussion of growth and solutions. I love it. I love being around nothing but grown, evolved discussions and behavior such as this. Godspeed. ❤🙏🏾
@@DearFutureWifey Keep doing what you are doing!! I'm going to share this with my African Prince, I see him bending over backwards to not be the man his father was by 1. Not having children before he's married 2. Making sure the special woman in his life is taken care of. I'm so proud of him. He was raised by me as a single parent but, I had help an African village. He's going to make some young lady very happy. He's way beyond his years at the age of 27.
Wow, his honesty.... I saw my Mom in them. I realized I was trying to save my Mom....... This point is my wake up call. I sound like his Mom. I'm going to do better for my sons. Much better! Thank you!
This brought tears to my eyes! The Most High showed himself strong, but still allowed evil to prevail to direct him in a path to greater in choosing a helpmate. Prayerfully, he can find a woman who can be trusted with his heart, as in Proverbs 31:1.
Wow... y'all took me to school, church, AND the therapy couch in this one interview! 😓 Thank. You. For. Sharing... and blessings to you both, Brothers!
This was a beautiful conversation. Men really do hold on to pain for yearrrs...damn near eternity. How the brotha spoke on something from 7th grade really speaks to the level of compartmentalization that occurs early in life, and the level of healing needed for men to move forward in peace & love. Thank you so much for this, I truly learned a lot from this conversation.
Good day! I want to start off by saying “ Don’t stop being open and using your platform.” I stumbled across your RU-vid/podcast in search of another gentlemen’s channel. This particular video popped up and I was so moved. Not only to your transparency but Mr. Jay as well. I truly believe if more young boys are shown and allowed to be vulnerable growing up. We would see healthier relationships thriving. Young black boys need to be able to express and not be ostracized and called names because they get emotional. I can go on but I won’t☺️ I have gone back and started watching your channel from the beginning to see what I missed. I will be sharing this channel with the men in my family. I love this channel and may God continue to cover you and your family with blessings and grace!!!
Do awesome and well spoken. I agree that Love is not about pain. A marriage or relationship is not an endurance sport! You don’t prove love by how much he’ll you can endure. A marriage or relationship should be something we ENJOY! Not something we must endure. Awesome conversation gentlemen!!
PTSD is real if you come from a traumatic relationship. I literally had PTSD after a relationship years ago I had with someone on and off for 5 years and on top of that because I only dated black men that relationship had me not liking black men at all. I realized I had been hurt by every man who entered my life and that last one just made me go back into a serious depression because he was my friend first and knew all my darkest secrets and then later turned into exactly what I was hurt by from my past. But about 2 years ago, I realized Nope that was satan trying to get me to hate my Beautiful Black Kings and I had to think about the patterns in my life and realize that it all stemmed from my relationship with my father. I was attracting men like him. It took for my dad to pass away to understand that people are a product of their parents/ childhood because my dad didn't have a good father, so how could he be a good father? I actually prayed to God to forgive my dad and I repented for my dad's sins and asked God to have mercy on his soul. I also asked God to forgive me for not seeing my value and for those who hurt me, because they were only treating me how they probably were raised and treated or from a bad relationship. I forgave them and tried to mend those relationships, because I too allowed for things to happen versus just walking away. One guy I dated is married now with a child and he told me he always thinks of me and he was sorry for how he treated me, because I was always a sweet heart and to be honest it made me cry because, even if you feel like you're not worthy those who treat you bad probably saw your worth and wanted to destroy you or they're just now realizing it.....I had that conversation with him a year ago and have not talk to him since, because I respect marriage and don't believe in staying friends with ex's out of respect for their future or current spouse. But my point is men and women both need to see their worth and get healing before entering into any type of relationship, because generational curses are real and no one should want to carry that on to their children or make that any part of their legacy. I refuse to see or let my future children get hurt by me and their father because of our past pains and I want my children to understand their worth before entering into a relationship. I love our black men and I can't wait to get married to a strong black man who is healed and sure of himself. Although I haven't met my husband yet, I pray for him everyday and his well being because once we're married, it'll be serious business for God's plan in our lives! Stay blessed everyone!🙏🏾
Awww you all are more than welcome! I pray for you all that you may receive healing and peace along with being united with your God ordained spouse!🙏🏾😘
“When you tell someone you “love” them, you’re setting a standard for how you’re going to operate with them.” Expressing verbally what you feel inside, and walking in that expression.
This spoke to me. I was just on the verge of tears a minute ago asking why what happened happened. And everything he spoke on, happened to me. And I remember falling in my face and praying. This is teaching me patience and staying faithful in waiting. Vengeance is God’s.
It's refreshing, yet scary to see that it's not just women experiencing things like this! It's also challenging because men have dragged women through it for so long that it's rough to believe certain things that men say! I get that idea of not being able to date again because of PTSD! LORD, HEAL YOUR CHILDREN, and draw the healed toward each other, to establish your righteous and God ordained marriages, in Jesus Name! All men aren't crazy and neither are all women! We invite You and thank you for doing the work in us! Amen! Powerful episode!
Healing is a must. Two broken people can't love each other the way that God intended. Men and women break each other in ways that are often hard to mend. We need to heal ourselves before we can show up as the adult needed for healthy relationships.
Man, I could only dream of being loved and in love as a woman. It must be nice. The way this guy expresses everything and verbalizes everything is so refreshing and powerful. I pray my chance to be pursued in the right , Godly way happens soon. I have never been in love or engaged or married.
To hear Jay express the continuous unpacking of an incident from the 7th grade is liberating! Thank you for sharing and thank you Laterras for the opportunity to listen.
Incredibly powerful episode! I wish there were more safe spaces for men to become vulnerable and free themselves from the bondage of remaining/living in brokenness. It is a personal hell I know, I lived there most of my life until I did my own healing work and climbed out of the pit. Anyway, I commend Jay for his transparency in sharing some raw truths. It is extremely freeing and allows others the space/freedom to know it’s okay to heal also. This here is sacred work indeed! 🙏🏾
Man, it was so many gems but what stood out to me the most is recognizing a man’s vulnerability and knowing what to do with it. Understanding that I’m supposed to be creating a safe haven for him, and not mishandling that trust. Yes, men are placed in a category where they are supposed to be tough, providers, protectors and society has really placed a standard on the man to where he shouldn’t be so vulnerable but with that, we have a lot of damaged men. We forget they are human, not robots or machines. There’s a lot going on in the world, and a man need his woman as a safe haven. That doesn’t mean tests and arguments won’t happen, but it does mean that respect and boundaries should still be there. I can’t create a safe haven, when all I’m doing is intentionally hurting with words. Using his vulnerability against him. Ultimately, that’s not love. That’s self. Thank you so much for all of this!
Oh my goodness Jay what a difficult time you had with that lady. And the process....goodness...the process of healing...truly only God could've covered you. Amen & Amen 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I really loved this episode, men in general don’t show this side. It’s so good to experience this side of a man: expressive, vulnerable, Godly, and authentic.
This was 🔥🔥🔥 Appreciate Jay's vulnerability! His wisdom shared on how to be a safe space. And a HUGE 👏🏾 hand clap for a black man in the mental health field 🙌🏾 ♥️♥️
I saw Jay Barnett at the Black Girl Social Club Event in Atlanta in 2022. He was very inspirational and positive. He spoke about mental health in the black community.
A deep conversation giving us ladies insights into how men feel and what they go through and their mind... and how much hurt we cause them at times...and it also gave me a lot of homework as a mum raising a boy. Great episode. Thank you
I stumbled upon this looking for some workout videos and was about to bypass it but l'm glad I stayed. I really enjoyed the conversation and the realness. I am an older single woman and you've helped me a great deal. What can I say about your guest but well done. His mom raised him well. I shared this with my daughter for my 13 yr old grandson. Again, thank you.
I will say this i am 25 years old graduate school student. The pandemic was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to sit back and be still. Not going to lie i am a long term relationship kind of girl but I am so happy this time has really allowed me to find a hobby which is doing nails. My parents been married for 24 years so I LOVE love and want to be a wife in the future. I definitely want and will wait to be in a relationship until my ph.D program. I have healed some trauma with my family during this pandemic. It was so tough at first because I hate crying but the healing needed to be done. I always say I want a man who had qualities like my dad. God fearing, family oriented, protective, provider and traditional. I value traditional gender roles. When I become a parent I definitely will be very transparent with my kids about everything.
Hey sis. I love this! When did you start the conversation? How do you maintain it? I am very close to my 8-year old son and I want him to know the value of waiting upon the Lord.
We need something to help the development of MEN especially black men. The world assumes we should be strong all the time while alot we need gets over looked and theres not much help for us.
When your child chastises you with the Word of God YES!!! Trying to preserve your sexual purity 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 The odds of him finding a woman that is a virgin is actually pretty high. Almost all my friends are virgins. I am a 29 year old virgin myself. 💁🏾♀️ Now the odds of finding a man who is a virgin especially my age...that's slim. But I pray God preserves him until marriage ❤💪🏾
I love when my Husband and Brothers get together and have "man talk".I listen sometimes to learn how to be more helpful but I never bring up anything or ask questions when they allow me in their space.I jus feel blessed because of the trust they have to talk in front of me.❤
1st I would like to say this blessed me from a woman’s perspective on so many levels. 2nd it’s funny how my daughter knew about the podcast before me. WE NEED IT! Many blessings & much success to you.
This episode was absolutely amazing, I'm so encouraged watching these two black men be transparent about their journey and about their process of healing. God bless you both.
I absolutely LOVED this podcast... it made me think of Samson and Delilah because you have to be careful of who you share your most intimate and vulnerable secrets with. Samson was having “pillow talk” too and became comfortable to where Delilah used what was his strength to later on make him weak. But that bounce back was something vicious lol he came through stronger like never before and was able to defeat everyone who tried to destroy him.
That woman tried to destroy his life all because he didn't want to get back with her, but it was her fault from the start she purposely said she fell out of love with him to hurt him but then claimed she didn't mean it. She was low down and probably privileged and used to getting whatever she wanted cause of her looks. Women this is a lesson to us all DO NOT SAY ANYTHING YOU DON'T TRULY MEAN!!!!!!!
Damn I just said that today! That's why now I do my best to not say anything out of anger. It's okay to say you hurt and let a person know you love them in spite of and walk away. Trying to say things to make them hurt ain't worth it if you don't mean it. At least that way they gotta deal with it not you.
I really love to hear a man's heart. It does allow me to see into him. I believe what has happened between men and women is that we've allowed the enemy to turn us against one another. That portion of trying to rescue the women who reminded him of his mom is real. I know a man who once shared that with me. Unfortunately, I experienced looking for my father's love through a man. I had to go before GOD and totally heal. I've always stated that childhood problems become adulthood problems when they are unaddressed. I know the LORD IS our ULTIMATE HEALER. Really loved the transparency in this video. Thank you for sharing.
Not sure how this channel showed up in my feed but I am thankful it did. I just subscribed. This is so good. My Mother always told me, "You don't have to chase a lie. Always stand on truth." Stand on truth, my brother! You have a beautiful spirit.
This was absolutely wonderful, I truly enjoyed this interview. Listening to men speak on being afraid of being hurt again and having such transparency in it was beautiful. There are very few that are able to share this side of vulnerability and stand strong in what "ignorant" people may portray as weakness. This was all strength, God bless!
I absolutely appreciate this authentic conversation and have shared it will several of my friends. I am praying for my future husband to be healed and walking in healing when we unite.
