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Within the current foreign controlled Australian Corpratocracy . Destroying our once healthy Family, ,Community and culturally expressing social system, post World War Two . Relied heavily on destroying Males important Roles .
My mother died right around the time that my dad retired, and we kids all lived far away. But the neighborhood kicked in and kept finding community projects that they claimed they "needed" Dad's help with, from delivering water in his pickup to the water stands for the city marathon, to helping build things, to mowing the grass for an older woman, or helping the disabled. At the thrice weekly seniors domino games, he was given the "task" of picking up the donuts. Dad ended up being so connected and having a great social life that even I as a single working woman could envy. We were really fortunate to have him in such a neighborhood.
@xianne 027 ... tfs, so happy for your Dad [ & you, your siblings] ! Yes, how truly ''smart'' & 'kind of his neighborhood : ) Yes, He now has connection, purpose & feels ''needed & useful'' !! .... thus busy, happy, contributing, not lonely & looks forward [hope] doing these things / reason to get up etc each day ! : )
@@cindyglass5827 Well, it's all past tense. It's been almost 20 years since Dad passed away, but we were indeed really fortunate that he lived in a community that kept him connected and active those 13 years that he was a widower alone. They were really creative in finding ways to keep him busy and it gave him great joy to be needed.
what do you think it means when you hire a woman because of her being a woman over a more qualified man? you want to put more women on boards means less men on boards the independence gained has been at the expense of men women are finishing uni at 2:1 and its not that more women are finishing and the men never changed but after that women still will only marry uni grads which they outnumber. I rather women were just lifted but what was done school was changed to favor women and so has the work place and men were not allowed to be masculine or perform well.
Unfortunately it didn't come with all the responsibilities of being independent. That is why you see men kick off and leave entirely. Hypothetically, your married. Few kids. Wife leaves you for someone, take the kids and everything. A guy looks at that whole thing and goes 'why should I work hard and earn for a bunch of people living off of me and not being a part of my life. I'll check out then. Do it alone. F U all. And then everyone is shocked. Women demand to be treated like men until they want to be treated as women.
@@dicekar How do you know the man is more qualified? This is an insane take, we still live in a society where we have capitalism and free markets, therefore you hire for what drives the most revenue. Do you see revenue dipping anywhere because of women being hired? Where's the evidence that these men were more qualified? Is it showing up in the earnings or the revenue?
@@dicekar The second part of your rant is just hilarious though. What do you think the solution is if women are outnumbering men 2:1? You trying to force less women into college or are you trying to force more men into college? Maybe pay teachers more money to give more economic incentive for men to become teachers, then you'll have more male role models at school?
@@dicekar Women are getting raises because the horny bosses take favor of them too. And they wonder why their companies are going out of business because of their D.E.I. initiatives...
This is so good. I think a lot of people raised by Christianity are taught like you have to think less of yourself because it seems like it would be pride. Victim mindset.
CS Lewis also said, “if you focus on heaven, you get everything earth has to offer… if you focus solely on earth, you get neither…” something like dat ❤
This is the actual problem of men. Thinking less of themselves and trying to be a provider in a world that does not need providers. I think this Richard Reeves is just a scam, knowing the issue and still fueling it.
the fact that nobody talks about censored book called The 21 Former Doctor Secrets by Rachel Morgan really gets to me. Always loved doctors like Rachel, they open our eyes
Right Emotionally ohh the unknown and mysterious of Emotion, Did I do it, did I make you happy knowing emotion are mysterious XD. The need to feel something to regulate you to feel special. LOL
Iam holding the door both for men and women, regardless of whether it is the CEO or the cleaning woman. For me it is just a natural gesture of kindness and respect to any human being.
Same, also walking street side when with someone more vulnerable…a young child, an older adult (not because of age per se, but maybe balance/hearing challenges).
11:12 regarding women relying on men for income; that predominantly played out in middle & upper income families. Poor family women have always worked; working for wealthy households, taking in laundry, sewing, etc.
My mother stayed home until 45 years old. When my parents divorced she had to go to work for the first time. She was a much happier woman after she went to work!
@@markaurelius61 it was a luxury of the upper class but also a way of oppression. Not giving the women an education and not allowing them to work, making them completely dependable of the father or husband...
@@lauraw.7008 to some extent women were still relying on men because they were paid less as their work was seen less professional and they were assumed to have a husband with a "normal" salary, so they were paid less
Honestly, as a Russian woman, this is ridiculous to me to listen to western men justifying opening the door for a woman in rather apologetic manner. 100% it’s a good thing that is showing respect and care for a woman! As well as it indicates the person is well-mannered. We open doors for elderly people and kids, too. To all men who’s “old fashioned “: you are amazing, never change :)
Stick to your traditions, fellow eastern European girl, for it is our strong foundations that will stand the test of time, and the uncertainty of the west that will inevitably be it's own demise.
You do not understand why men are justifying it because you do not live over here and if you did you would know a lot of men have been burn by a lot of women in the west because of xyz and men are starting to not put up with western women bs any more I see nothing in your comment about what you would do for a man and only see you talking about what a man should do because for sure more men would do more nice things for women if women didn't do all the bs they do nowadays
@@ErgiLaci-x1n "traditional" Eastern Europe is a fairy tale for Westerners. you need to believe in delulu-land, where russian wives in floral dresses milk a cow
I agree. As a women, I also do it. Subconsciously open the door for anyone. I even the store front door when a cat waiting and let them in. I believe the owner must be in the store. I always like cats but not able to get close for long. Otherwise, my skin gets severe allergies. It doesn't mean I hate cats and not treat them good. I also say thank you and sorry. I don't know why I am doing it. It's not made up. Subconsciously I stop and let others walk through or giving them a way out. Whenever I walk through, I will say excuse me while bowing my body. It's something that my mom teach me. My dad never teach me about it. I always feel grateful and say thank you to whoever open the door for me. It's like an angel helps me out. Secretly I pray for them. May God bless you all. For all the good things you are done to others, even when you think it's not worth it.
All journalists should study Steven Bartlett and how effective he is at interviewing. The allowance of silence, the warmth, the authentic interest, the calm pacing. It all makes for an honest discussion that feels more like a heart-to-heart talk than an interview. ❤ Thank you.
Steven allows his guests to talk. Sounds like an obvious way to hold an interview, but there are podcasts I just cannot watch anymore from the CONSTANT interruptions by the host, or worse, the host wants to say what they know about the topic, then ask, "would you agree?". Steven comes prepared, listens, stays present, asks relevant questions. An intelligent and humble man. Bravo.
I agree. I love watching his podcasts, because of his warm, understanding and curious personality and the ability to know exactly where to interject and ask questions. He is not only an active listener but an active participant in the conversation with a deep interest in what everyone has to say that he interviews. Well done on becoming the wonderful person that you are Mr. CEO
I’m only 40 minutes in to this conversation & I have already cried multiple times. As a 29 year old man & so much of this is so relatable. It’s so hard to articulate these things. Thank you for having this conversation!
You have permission to wipe your tears, study a trade and create your best life. Turn those tears to anger and then anger to fuel for success. They want you soft and weak so they can rule over us. It's time for men to be warriors not wimps. I have so many clients studying stoicism with their sons. Powerful mastery of self.
I’m 22 years old, with a three year old son. Single father with FULL CUSTODY. Partnerless. Without my son I can see exactly what he is talking about. I find myself in a unique situation. Great episode!
at 22?, damn brother i am 22 as well but im pursing my studies right now. life is really different for people regardless of being of same age. i wish good health for you and your son and may you be able to provide the best for him.
I'm in the same boat, with a 6-year-old girl. It changes your view on dating and what you'll put up with and what you like and expect from a partner. I suspect you're rocking single parenthood, building a career without crying about it or blaming anyone.
Why does the mother have no involvement at all? For young children especially, a mother is important. Unless she was really harming the child. I raised my children effectively alone, because I married an alcoholic who also abused us But somehow, with slander he stole my children and paid off home and all the cars and my clothes and furniture and everything in the house. Leaving me on the streets with nothing. I hope that for your child's sake, you did not acquire sole custody by using parental alienation. Because that is severe child abuse
My grandmother told me, “ the difference between a boy and a man is that a man has something in his life that is more important than himself.” The male mental health crises and its antidote seems to support this idea. It also supports emotional maturity and growing beyond self awareness to transcend the self… it’s interesting how interconnected it all is.
You should read Ether Villars book the manipulated man. How convenient is it for society when it says that a real man serves others... especially women. How convenient. "Most men need to be enslaved by something"
Usually having their own family or even a relationship would trigger this thought pattern of placing importance over themselves, which makes men take more responsibility, sacrifice, working towards a secure future. A lot of men are not getting this, so all they care about is themselves. There is a few outliers where the guy finds a passion he would put all his effort into like a career path, but that same guy won't sacrifice himself for that career as much as he would for his own child whom he loves. Would you die for your career if it meant the companies continues to live, or would you die for your child if it meant your child gets to live.
This is the problem of men. Men should start thinking about themselves more instead of thinking about others. Stop trying to be providers in a world no one is looking for providers
One of my friends who is just 20, tried to commit suicide yesterday. He seems to ‘have it all’..he’s good looking, has a career that he loves, a supportive family..I’m just shocked he would try to do this. I'm going to see him tomorrow when he is discharged from hospital..I’m just going to listen, and hopefully my support will make a difference, however small. We all need to check on the people we love. Things may not always be as good as they seem..
Really sorry to hear that. Many man had been thought to not talk about their issues or feelings, causing a high level of stress and pressure about what we were meant to do, and now what we are not meant to do. Many man struggle and need a friend to talk.
No one shows you who they really are. We are all fragile. You are a good soul. I had a sis in law and I knew she was depressed, I never thought she would kill herself leaving 3 small children to find her after coming home from school. I also had a cousin who at 19 hung herself in her bedroom closet. She was beautiful and popular. Demons are real and they will come in through any open door. Pray for your friend that his demons flee from him in Jesus precious HOLY Name, Amen!
I was alone traveling with my daughter who is 6. When we were getting out from the bus to go to the airplane, I was holding her hand but also had 2 bag packs, mine and hers, and they were heavy. A very nice guy looked at us and asked permission to help her step out of the bus, off course I said yes because I obviously needed help. These things are so important, and I appreciate very much when men are offering to help, they really are taller and/or stronger most of the time and being a gentleman makes the difference. We are different and we should just acknowledge and respect these differences.
It’s true we are different but the problem is women’s differences are seen as less valuable in society. The reality is that we are complementary. One isn’t better than the other.
@@CambieSweets this thought alone makes some men think that society takes their worth from them. They 'need' to be better. At least better than women, if all men they meet in life and see in the media are presumably better than them. Were they to abandon this way of thinking, they may feel better.
"rather than run the risk of doing something wrong, they do nothing." - what a gut punch. Hit the target, bullseye. Very powerful statement. The whole section about What advice you would give your children is just so impactful and well articulated
I can't be the only young woman (29, single, wanting to get married) who was absolutely stunned by the repeated message of "men need to be needed". If there is one thing, I am actively working on in regards to relationships, it's "Do not be needy! Never come close to being perceived as a burden!". The message toward women from men within their dating pool has repeatedly been that! That's why I feel unsure about how to process this new learning..
Yes, they need to be needed (of use, valued, helpful, loved), which is different to being needy (insecure, whiny, demanding). That’s how I interpret what he means by needed.
@@paper601 to me it sounds like anything that isn't hyper-independant on a woman's part is already too needy. Would have appreciated the two to get a bit more into this.
@@atide_and1175 I haven’t picked up on that, but I’ll keep listening. I always find that sort of stuff beside the point anyway to be honest. When I listen to these views, I can empathise and appreciate what’s being said as other people’s experiences, but I write my own book and it doesn’t include a man who thinks I’m needy, it’s one who understands me, and I understand him.
We are instinctively driven by purpose and feeling like we matter deeply to a woman that is there for us as much as we are for them. Eliminate purpose and most of a man's identity is destroyed. We become lost. And we know no one will come to help. We're alone either to figure it out or give up. I unknowingly went into a shitty job right after college that has dragged me down. I'm 29 as well, wanting to meet anyone at all as it's been over a decade of loneliness, wanting to marry, and wanting to figure out where I go from here career-wise. I've been a number in this job, my parents are heartbroken to see me spiral into who I am today, had some health issues, and I was pretty close to suicide twice during covid taking stock in all of these things. Now I know I don't want to die, but I still haven't cracked the code at getting the excitement back to live vibrantly. I miss having someone to share life with. Don't second guess yourself at all. Your "neediness" may be the purpose that revives a man in their life, reminds them they matter again, and earns you a devoted partner.
As a middle schooler, my father criticized me for wanting shoes like the other kids, saying what I wanted was a job. In my relationships, I became the breadwinner. I no longer look at men as the provider and protector. Now, I find relationships having too many issues and prefer to be alone. Rather than trying to earn love, now it comes down to how to find my own self-worth. Looking for what I need from with-in. That's one of the main changes happening in the world.
Absolutely. I too only found peace once i learned to truly love myself. We men are far too conditioned to be disposable and human doings instead of human beings. The game looks very different once you learn to value yourself and your peace.
@Bob_111 I love that! Human doings, rather than human beings. That's the most accurate depiction I think I have ever heard. What we bring and what we do defines us. Rather than just being, the only time a person seems to be valued for who they are, is after the person passes.
That’s what women go through as well. Right now nobody is acknowledging the differences and expecting the same outcome from both men and women. This is why all of us are ending up alone trying to fulfill ourselves with our hobbies and jobs.
Opening a door for a person, any gender, is being a considerate human being. I care about you and see you as a person of value to hold the door. Treat others as you’d like to be treated.
I love that men hold the door for me and always thank them. However I always notice a ww come speeding up out of nowhere so that I as bw will be forced to grant her this “entitlement”. And when this dynamic plays out in the numerous mundane ways where they demonstrate this inhuman rank pulling reflexive default there can be no reciprocity.
A “provider” doesn’t have to be about money. It can be to provide that “language of love”; Provide companionship; provide support, structure, challenges, and goal pursuits. Men can still provide in this new dynamic. I’m a dominant masculine female and would love a strong man, not a needy man (boy). Someone to share the rest of our lives, exploring our differences and changes that we will evolve through.
And that was the plan all along. Decrease in home gardening and cooking or in home entertainment. thereby creating a need for businesses to offer things like childcare, grocery delivery, drive throughsz etc.
That's cos "something" happened about 50 years ago that doubled the supply of workers while the demand stayed the same, causing wages to be devastated.
@@luminous696950 years ago things were terrible for most people. That’s not the case today. And a few years before there were w4ars. Don’t sugar coat the past and idealise something that didn’t even exist.
@@luminous6969 the jobs that existed back then didn’t exist. M4n simply didn’t adapt. Plus w4m4n were working for fr44. He is talking about the HEAL sector. All that was done by w4m3n for free.
So true about the narrative regarding suicide. My sister was contemplating suicide after having struggled with depression and fibromyalgia received a breast cancer diagnosis. I told her that it would be horrible to loose her and that I would grieve our sister would grieve and our parents the rest of our lives for her. I told her if I could just listen I would...she is a breast cancer survivor of 15 years now and will be 63 in August
The male door holding thing has always baffled me. I went to a mixed sex school and we were taught to hold the door open for anyone who was coming along behind, as long as it didn't mean they had to run to take advantage of the opportunity. 😂
If we are passing through a heavy door or gate, it's common courtesy to hold it open for those passing behind us. {Men and women} A really sweet boy {aged about Eight} went and got me a paper bag for a dog treat while in a queue at the till... Lovely manners- he heard me asking the man at the till ''Do you have bags for the treats?'' and the young lad went off and got one.
@@kirstencorby8465 Thanks for regurgitating the exact language of Galloway to make yourself look smart, doof. Doesnt negate the fact that the pendulum swung too far and now needs to find balance in the center.
@@Ffsdevgj I had a male neighbor who refused to walk through the door if I was holding it. My apartment was RIGHT ACROSS from the exit/entrance door. The handle was already in my hand, but his ego refused him to walk through a door that was already opened before he reached the handle. just because I’m a woman🤦🏽♀️ made me feel so worthless and low smh. The same way your comment makes me feel worthless and low😒
@@ayyyejesterdazed maybe you could just deal with it??? How hard is it to have 1 piece of gendered decorum? That man is not saying with his actions that you are not worthy to hold the door open for him. He saying that is not his place and it is not how he grew up. Try letting him hold the door open for you I bet it would make his day make him feel needed and not so ostracized by not only you but society as whole. Not everything is about you
@@Ffsdevgj There's a definite group of Women who feel entitled, above everyone else, it is also true that applies to many Men too, it can also be seen in some children. I avoid people like that, if possible, you can't change their Maladaptive Ego, but you can avoid 'Feeding it'. Don't pander to these characters, your worthiness does Not depend on their extremely Conceited opinions.
The real problem we have right now: we are downplaying housewives too much due to industrialisation. I just had a conversation with my friend who was complaining how young people do not have the adult mentality. When 2 parents are working, something has to give. The worst thing? The social construct had created a situation where 2 working parents is the norm.
I would give anything to be a stay at home mother. But society crucifies you for it, because you have to contribute to the household, have your own money, have something to fall back on should anything go horribly wrong. I tried it at 36 and went back to work within 4 years because even my husband expected me to go back to work.
I don't think you can bring that argument to him. He's probably of the opinion that women should work 40+ hours and just leave children in the daycare.
Question why automatically housewife, why not house parent or both parents working part-time and sharing parenting. I think the backlash to the one parent staying home is often there's an assumption that it will automatically be the mother even if she's earning a bigger income than the other parent which is crazy...also by defaulting to it's always the mother excluding breast feeding (which obviously can only be done by mum) what you're saying is that men are not as good at parenting as woman which is not true.
@@Bella34544 It seems like you don't understand much about psychology at all. Fathers cannot be mothers. Mothers cannot be fathers. And for the first year or few years of a child's life, a mother's near-constant presence is extremely important. There's also more and more research popping up that showcases that this really is the case as well. It's not a coincidence that man people these days have such a hard time bonding with others. It's because they haven't gotten the experience as a child. Some will still manage, but many will not.
Theres too high a risk for women to be stay at home mothers/housewives. Theres too many cases where the husband ends up leaving her and she has to rely on her family to get by because she gave up any sort of education/work related progress. Not just that but the work force actively discriminates against anyone that hasnt been in the work force in a while. Now imagine being pregnant, with two kids and no husband around... Yeah, not easy. there is little to no support for women like this, meanwhile men just jump from one woman to another without a care for hurting the ones that matter most. Men need to step up, join modern times, and stop wishing for something that only exists in the past.
I’m not even half way through the episode and can’t hold back on commenting and saying thank you for talking about this. As a diehard women empowerment advocate, single mom of a son and daughter, that left a abusive misogynistic marriage, I over poured into my daughters and my own independence and empowerment, while subconsciously forcing my son to becoming all about women empowerment and I believe it caused him to struggle with his own sense of masculinity and even value. He’s such a sweet and kind young man now (22 yrs) but I can see the struggle he has when it comes to feeling valued and know who and how he should be. I recognized this years ago, apologized and have been trying to help him with that. While my daughter (18 yrs) knows who she is, her value and how she shows up in the world. This is a long overdue conversation and doesn’t mean that we are turning back the clocks.
Beautiful share. Thank you. I’ve done this work too. I made sooo many apologies. 🤦🏻♀️ If you need some guidance where to go next… A good book I read was The Queens Code by Alison Armstrong. Also The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Both these helped me understand the men in my life and how to foster healthy masculine energy in my three sons. Your open heart is already serving your son, blessing to you. ❤
This talk captured so much nuance and perspective. It's refreshing to see people who can show empathy for both men and women without putting the other one down. Thank you for that!
I'm 44, single, never been married, and don't have children. Everything you both said resonated deeply and at points brought me to tears. I feel seen and heard, which is such a profound thing when I felt so lonely. Thank you both for being brave enough to have the conversation. I see you and hear you, also.
Keep your head up. Read your Bible be a man ! Don’t feel bad about it. You are strong, God made and a man. You have conquest and conquering in your blood!!! Go out and get it! 💪🏽🔥
There are more than 3 billion women in the world,if u really want a woman,why restrict yourself to your zip code,travel,hell go on dating app,fill in a different state,country,continent. Have an open heart,and open ur eyes,be smart. U dont have to be rich to do this.theres a woman out there for everyone,just be a good person thats all
I rarely comment on vids. But I had to share on this one. I lost my son to suicide just over 2 years ago. The pain does not diminish and the guilt about what I could have done better or different will haunt me forever. Conversations like this are so important. ❤❤ Thank you so much for this 🙏🙏
I feel you! Send my compassion. I am a mother of a 27 yo son and in order to help our son, me and my husband read DR David Hawkins book Letting Go and applying his method in order to help our son feel more loved and secure. We also thought we failed somehow and felt guilty. This guilt made us felt furious, felt resentment and interacted with him from that place. Now, due to this method we've learned how to let go of guilt, and other negative emotions, we can interact with him and each other from a better place, without negative emotions. Give this method a try, I'm sure your son didn't want you to punish yourself for the rest of your life. [sorry for my English]
big part of the issue is defining "caring, nurturing, and emotionally vulnerable" as "synonymous with femininity". these are simply human attributes that have been societally attached to femininity and a lot of men would probably have no issue being those things if it wasnt seen as feminine
Thank you. I have three sons (8, 6 and 2) and they are all naturally so caring and nurturing. It makes me sad to think society is going to teach them that's not how they should be.
"these are simply human attributes that have been societally attached to femininity" -- no, they are not. They are biological attributes most commonly found in women. They are not learned social behaviors.
Thank you for telling them!! This is the missing piece here. Men keep themselves from being Human. It's not feminine to be HUMAN. Feelings And Connection Are Human! Not Weak! It's not so complicated. Stop Being Stern And Macho And Let Yourself FEEL without Self-Hatred. Reach Out to other men and chat about your Situation and Feelings. That's it!
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Parting ways with someone you deeply cherish is an agonizing experience. I understand firsthand, having encountered a parallel situation at the end of my 6-year relationship. Driven by an unyielding determination, I explored every avenue to salvage our bond. Seeking guidance from a spiritual counselor proved pivotal , as their intervention played a crucial role in rekindling our love .
Of course, this is normal grieving. Happens to best of us. I still pine someone from 30 years ago. You move on and may not get that but you get a different kind of good again. Sorry , you're not that special. This is being human
@@lopetonceba1059nah, jobs can need us but we don’t always feel appreciated. Same can be said for how men are expected to take initiative in asking women out but definitely face a ton of rejection. Unless you’re in the top 5% of men (height, looks, money, influence) you likely never receive a message on a dating app where women are receiving multiple messages per day. That feels like universal rejection. We all need appreciation, not merely being needed to pick up the heavy things or fix the plumbing.
Exactly. That's why most kids leave those same men, or let's say those "fathers" behind in nursing homes and never look back. If you don't want to mentaly and emotionaly involve yourself in lifes of people closest to you, then you just wasted your time on this earth. It's simply not enough, you shouldn't want to just exist in space.... so as you said - you should work harder!
@@IanUnderwood1974 I'm an asthmatic who lifts shit all day in a fridge. Zero, and I mean zero thanks for doing all the heavy lifting. Past week had a chest infection and a week off, come back - everyone's behind and irritated as fuck. Not even a thumbs up when you're smashing it but it's your fault when they can't cope without you. Woman dominated workplace 🫨
I am female and I always open door for people , male and female. It is sign of respect, I am aware of some one who is behind me. I see it all the time men not doing it. In my opinion they simply don't care.
@@grantbishop1961wow, really? People around me do it all the time. Men open doors for men, women open doors for women, men open doors for women, women open doors for men. It's just courtesy.
Also this crap that all men mistreat women.... This is gaslighting. You pick the bad boys that gonna mistreat, while the good men are invisible to most girls. Or just don't marry in the first place and solve your own problems instead of coming to us.
Also that constant gaslighting and blameshifting about mistreating. This is actually misandry. You pick the bad boys, while the good ones remain invisible. And how many wives did I see in my life that made it their sole job to aggrevate their husbands!!! Of course you could also just solve your own problems and not marry at all.
Gentlemen. I like this points. but I must simply suggest, make 2 friends - male. Good ones. Support each other, unconditionally. and be brutally fucking honest. Have their back, even when they fuck up and be their to improve. My 2 friends of 12 years have been the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Supported me and my wife, we saved one marriage from sabotage and divorce, we're helping another with his first kid. It guys you want just turn the macho off, set the goals, don't mince words, and get to work.
My partner has friends like that and it is amazing. I can not imagine what he would be like without his friends - all I can do is thank them and let my partner to be there for them.
So how do you "make" 2 male friends? Meet them in the toilet as they are refreshing their makeup? It's kinda like saying if you are starving - just get some food. If you are homeless - just get a home.
Instead turn to God and Jesus who will never disappoint, fail you, abandon you, or leave you. Seek and put your faith in them! The best thing you can have in this life is a personal relationship with God and Jesus.
@@Michael-iw3ek woman usually do not meat friends by refreshing makeup in the toilet. You have to go places where people share common interests and interact. I met my best friends at work, non profit organisation, volleyball. And nowadays there are men only support groups, look that up.
I think a major issue is that people in general have traditionally been married to the idea of finding someone to be with, rather than the idea of finding someone they want to be with. The idea of being with a person is deemed more important than the person themselves. The entire root of being with someone, is basically saying "I think we can get more out of life together, than apart", and two people agreeing on that statement about each other, will be happy together. But it has to start with the person themselves, rather than the generic idea of being with someone in general, because at that point you're just looking for "anyone" to fill an arbitrary hole in your own sense of self fulfillment.
yeah, i think part of it which is partly why there are so many situationships. They don't really like each other, and so never fully commit, but its better than being alone. But I think its also partly because of bad communication. Because neither is willing to be alone they are not willing to set boundaries out of fear of scaring the other person off. So a guy engaging in such behavior will eventually come off as having no spine. I for a while have had the feeling that part of the problem with relationships is that people are married to this idea that the relationship ends at marriage. That is they put in effort when dating but stop once married. Traditionally pre marriage stuff was mostly to test if you could even stand the person. If you went through with it marriage was the start of the relationship and both parties generally understood this was something they were expected to work on into eternity.
@@AndrewTheFrank That's honestly part of why I'm a bit against marriage. I mean, not the idea of commitment to each other, nor the idea of marriage from a practical and legal point of view -but rather the fact that it somehow should signify a change that realistically shouldn't even be there? If you love someone enough to marry them, then the marriage part itself should be irrelevant because you already love them that much and are committed enough as is. So why try to force a change in the relation by inserting some "relationship promotion" to marriage status. It just seems very weird and dated as a general concept. I'd much rather consider general commitment in a relationship without any promotional name to it, other than it being a relationship. It's a constant process of seeing if you can build your life together, and this doesn't stop just because you get married. You don't suddenly achieve a level where you have to stop caring about how you build your life together, or evaluate your level of commitment. Deep down emotions and wants will not care what you call yourselves. Eventually they will surface regardless, so better do it on honest terms instead of pretending that calling yourselves married is now some safety blanket that lets you take it easy and neglect some of the things you were more committed to prior to being married. Marriage isn't some checkpoint you reach where you're now safe from acting on undesired emotions. I mean.. I don't hold something major against marriage in general, I just think it's a bit of a wasteful concept emotionally speaking, and I can definitely see how many people would fall into a false sense of security because they believe the act of getting married enforces a higher level of commitment which then allows them to slack on some aspects they wouldn't dare do (aka dare face and deal with) prior to being married.
@@C12341 society is also critical of women who are alone but over the last decade or so women have learned to not need to get their validation from men and instead seek it within. Once men can learn to not require the validation of women (or of other men for ‘having’ a woman) they will be better off, and then we can learn to be truly healthily interdependent.
@@dkdoodle it's true, but it may take a lot more effort for men than women, since historically men have always been in less demand and not loved unless they also provide something extra. It has always been easier for average girls to get with a guy, than for average guys to get with a girl, simple emotional supply and demand. So when men in general are less in demand compared to the average girl, it is much harder to overcome that aspect of external validation because intrinsically men are more likely to feel useless, and society is more likely to deem men useless until they "prove their worth" by for example getting with someone. Because getting with someone is proof in most people's eyes, that the guy isn't a lost cause. At least I think that's how many experience it. And that's kind of the whole issue here, when the need for a sense of validation and purpose comes from desperation rather than genuine intrinsic emotions, you're setting yourself up for failure.
“Why did Andrew Tate convert to Islam?: to have multiple wives”. Yes, any person with a decent amount of critical thinking skills would have figured this out from the beginning. It was to suit his own personal needs, not to follow Allah IMO.
Not sure if this applies to the subject, but in my experience all the Muslim men I have come across are married to one woman and committed to her and the Christian men have side relationships. 😅
@@zzs33 then you need to get out more 😂 I worked in Greece for a few years and married Arab Muslim men travelled in packs and screwed everything they could. They aren't honorable
With all due respect, I think Andrew Tate is the furthest idea of what male role model is. Andrew Tate only had a platform due to his rise in certain sports, in no way is Andrew Tate in any place to provide guidance, half the spewed diatribe is because women throw themselves at him so he grew an ego and that ego is writing checks his body can't cash. Tate is a mysoginist with no useful or moral bank.
As a woman, I found this one of the most enlightening conversations on the topic of masculinity vs femininity I have ever heard. I have had many talks with male friends, and it seems so many areas are suffering from inflammation and are sore and tender and always lead to polarization. So thank you to both of your ambitions to tend to these wounds. I am closing this tab with a lot more compassion and understanding towards my partner and the other men in my life.
So why have women had to join the workforce? Breadwinners who bail on them, breadwinners who abuse them? The family needing more resources, as living costs rise and salaries don't? All of the above. Who dictates the script for these modern economies? Elitists. The ratio between profits of CEOs and employees are completely out of balance. Perhaps the root of the problem should be addressed. Why don't these governments, who are supposed to have safety nets for people, recruit them to fill gaps to service society? Who are in charge of these governments? They always complain about having employment shortages, in medical, financial & technology fields, but they don't invest in people, by helping to develop skills... no, funding wars are more important. The potential of human life is not recognized by elitists. This is the biggest problem in society.
The elites wanted our children So they lowered pay for men, forcing women into the workforce. So that public schools could brainwash our kids. It's a long term plan
I’d say lots of it was technological. Washing machine and frozen foods made house work cheaper. I can see that women used to be trapped in marriage. However, now if they want to be a stay at home mother it’s just as difficult as it used to be to be an independent woman.
@@jeremymullens7167 my grandmother was born in 1905. She showed us how to make pasta on her manual hand crank pasta machine. We had a manual hand crank meat grinder. When she passed away I ended up with her old cookbooks. One of them had a recipe for doing laundry. Complete with starting a big fire in the yard under the barrel of water. Of course using handmade soap and washboards. Other recipes were for possum and frog legs. The frog one mostly was about how to catch the frogs.
@@recoveringsoul755 Cleopatra was born in the 1st century BC. Women have been independent since Eve. It's nothing new. I can't imagine how many women were like your grandmother around the times of the Great Depression, imagine... and that's a compliment. My mother's Haitian, migrated from Haiti in the 70s with a family of alot lol. I've always been a fan of women.
LOL! I'm retired, divorced and my children live a long way away. When I retired I bought a new motorcycle, I started getting out to more techno gigs as I had the time. If I have the time I do a little writing and keep fit working outside brush cutting etc, building rock walls on my property or just sitting under a tree listening to the birds.. I don't need people but I enjoy the faces I meet. Geez people learn to love yourself first. Life is truly grand
I think that's one of the greatest issues with people these days. So many people are absolutely reliant on other's approval. Once you find things that YOU truly enjoy for yourself, it takes a huge load off mentally.
I think it's very USA mentality to think that being retired could be bad for the tribe. Specially with the extremely unequal wealth distribution they have and non-solidary pension system, it's really crazy they would think that.
I don’t understand why it’s so hard to have conversations where in a relationship, you just help where help is needed. No gender roles, just doing what needs to be done, regardless of gender. That’s how I’ve always seen things done in successful relationships. No gender roles, just people getting things done and helping where needed.
This is how it's always been in my household. I was never raised with the divisive identity political narratives that are overtaking media and public life of present. It was always who needs help with what, get it done and switch. We still operate this way, although I do notice the younger generations in our family bringing up masculine/feminine roles. Bullocks really. Think in terms of energy (yin and yang) and recognize they can and do exist in different individuals, regardless of biology
As a woman, 25, this is easily the best conversation that describes both my understanding and fears / concern for men & I appreciate Richard so much. I’d love to work for him.
Psychologists studying reasons for attraction have always had proximity in the top spot. To be in proximity to people you have to leave your house and do things, meet people. This is the first thing we should be telling our young men. This was a really good conversation.
I hold a doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and agree. Proximity and thus exposure to potential mates is necessary. Notably, it's also massively more effective for finding a true match in a partner than the common trust people put in online dating these days.
Here's the massive elephant in the room were avoiding with this platitude; we've tried that and found 'sexual harassment' claims and being filmed as 'that creepy guy' for millions of people to mock online a strong demotivater to approaching even in places where you regularly attend. All of this is easily accessible at your finger tips at this very moment, just use Google or RU-vid. It happens everywhere. Guys who choose to do something outside the home regularly, like go to a certain bar/ restaurant, join a hobby club, or volunteer somewhere... do not want to risk the very real potential of being humiliated and kicked from that space. For instance work was always a possibility in the past, now it's a HUGE no no and it doesn't matter how you look or if your approach style is optimal/ the best approach in the world; you never attempt that at work.
No, nothing is more lonely than going out to social events and feeling left out. Relationships are all transactional these days. People want you to raise their social status, make them look good, or have money or be a battering ram. There's no longer a benchmark communal link between people. By disrupting the old communal roles and inserting a smorgasbord of options it's killed off the societal positions men used to have. We have a multi cultural, multi national, multi sexual, multi ethnic society now. It's false and the roles of men will obviously drop out when you elect to have this cheeseboard of options. It always comes down to the elite.
@@BennyMcGibbon you're dooming and choosing loneliness. Meeting people and having fun around people is a skill you learn, like all things. Like speaking. You could never speak if you never practiced it. Pull through that initial awkwardness. You are looking at people and immediately casting a judgemental light on them. Deciding they're without integrity without even knowing them. There are people for everyone. Put yourself out there and choose to reserve your judgement until you know someone. Choose to see what you like or admire about them. You might get to know bad people. You'll learn from it. You'll learn to distinguish genuine people you vibe with. Choose life, man. Maybe you'll learn that the ~other identities~ that you choose to judge can be filled with cool and interesting people too. Based on how you write, I'm willing to bet you don't really personally know any of these people.
@@rukia01wubbaduck Rubbish. I've had many relationships and many friends. I've travelled all over the world. Something is amiss. Seriously amiss. If you can't see that then I feel that you should.
When I heard "I've tried to raise them in a way that would give them the courage to ask the girl out, the grace to accept no for an answer, and the responsibility to make sure that either way she gets home safely" I literally said "wow" and started crying. There was many moments of this conversation when I felt moved, but this one destroyed me. I really feel, as a raging feminist, that awareness and raising masculinity is the new wave of feminist. I believe that we need everyone, women and man to be on the same team, and I would really like to see men carrying about each other and creating men communities like women does. Hearing how Richard Reeves talks about men was really beautiful and endearing. Thank you.
Remember the push for boy scouts to let in girls? This didn't just happen with the boy scouts. it happened with everything that is seen as a "male-dominated" hobby, job, industry, interests and so on. The reason why men have no real community anymore, can be partially blamed on the feminist push that everything masculine and "manly" is toxic. Everything needs a "feminine" touch now, to be inclusive. And don't try to weasel your way out and claim that toxic masculinity doesn't mean everything about masculinity, when the last few years have more than clearly demonstrated that this is the case.
Absolutely..as a radical feminist.. i am lately seeing alot of red pill death cultish behaviour in the Women's right movement. From the transphobia to abject refusal to get involved with a male child's upbringing.. It makes me angry at well intentioned women being bigoted but at the same time it makes me feel sad because they're desperately trying to avenge the horrible things which have been done to us historically... From gender based Eugenics to fgms to us basically being turned into slave-baby cannons, to the alienation we feel from our parents when we become teenagers, to how we're adultified by other grown ups and held responsible for household chores and babysitting while our older, more mature brothers are allowed to play outside with other kids and allowed their childhood.. Finding out that I'm only wanted if I provide access to my body or free labour crushed me to pieces.. The inherently misogynistic things i was told from my religion and relatives made me suicidal and depressed.. It is a very lonely and degrading experience.. These women are more scared than they're angry.. And i wish people understood that women are in pain just like men are... The minute I heard that boys and men are in suffering too, I was like "Welcome to women's reality." The men don't care how women are suffering because they think women are objects, and all an object needs to be is pretty to control the whole world,right? So they think pretty women don't suffer when they vehemently ignore the majority of women who don't fit beauty standards.. It breaks me how the media does not portrays the bloody and messy truth of women's body, The truth women deal with, majority of our lives, The actual , horrible fear most women have of child birth , of labour pain, of our crotches tearing and our asses exploding, while being shamed for having a loose pussy to make the babies society forced us to make... The messy healing process of post delivery, about the help and nurturing affirmation women need from men in that vulnerable time.. About how men *need* emotional maturity, the soft, emotional side to truly be able to protect a woman... But media only shows the parts men jerk off to.. And it needs men to keep jerking off... so that they can distract men from the fact that they're getting men addicted to make a profit off of their pain and depression.. Feminism still has a vast journey ahead.. But this time, we include men , the suffering they experience, And the ways we can stop ourselves from perpetuating it.. Just like we expect them to...
@@eznosnopes5276 because there are plenty if not the majority of women who pick and choose the parts of the patriarchy that work to their advantage. I had a coworker who married a feminist. She approached him and asked for a coffee date. There are women who would never ask a man for a date because feel it would be beneath them or that the risk of rejection is something a man should have to face. Many also want men to pay for expensive dates and feel that cheap men ask for coffee dates.
@@cbassett7274 yep. We’re teaching boys they aren’t intrinsically deserving of love or affection if we teach them it’s only their job to approach. We’ve taught girls to feel worthy of love but boys they need to earn it. We’re teaching girls that boys fear of rejection should be subordinate to girls fear of rejection and he should just take it. Through out a lifetime, I believe these are harmful messages that play out in negative ways in men’s lives.
"If you have kids, you have a moral responsibility to be a father to those kids." I love this line. To many men run away from this in any way they can. That is not fair to the mother and has been happening for decades.
Women have no fault divorce, they can abort at will. Men have NO OPTION in determining if a woman will keep the child or not so granting women power to garnish a man's wages and his future is the height of hypocracy from feminist minded people.
Mother's have a responsibility to find strong ,trusted male role models that agree to step in. I had my younger brother and a family friend that helped with my boys.
the problem with having kids is you have to deal with the mother. If shes your wife then maybe things work out. But its the fact that men have to deal with all the BS their female partners throw at them which makes being a father not worth it in everyway because relaionships with women is completely 1 sided.
Here’s something that often gets totally misrepresented in these conversations. People SO OFTEN say that men used to be expected to be the providers while women stayed home. Through most of human history, men and women had to “work” and provide for themselves and their families. It was only for a tiny period of time that men did most of the providing. That’s NOT the norm, yet we treat it like it is. Even when we look at media’s portrayal of centuries past, we see women as being taken care of be men, but that was for a fraction of the world population - specific to a time, place, and class. We really need to remove this piece of the narrative that’s simply narrow and, frankly, inaccurate.
yep. preach girl. its only for the wealthy that women didn't work and its only for a decade or two, where the middle class could live pseudo rich, that women largely didn't need to work. It was also at a time just after a war when most the labor force had died so workers could demand more pay. and in history past if women weren't working the fields with men they were cooking and cleaning all day. they didn't have dryers and pre packaged meals. when making food from scratch its an all day process. washing cloths by hand is long and laborious. So even if a woman didn't have to work a job for cash (such as be a rich man's maid, or some labor job) she still was doing some kind of labor all day. All of these things women did, if not money savers, were necessary for survival. Its not like they were unimportant.
I mostly Agree, everybody had to work in the past, It was just more common that men's work was outside the home (anything from building/miner/farming/woodcutter and so on) where women did the household (preseving food/preparing food/washing/cleaning/caring for the young kids) work at home. Even the kids needed to work or assist from a very young age (and was partly why people had so many children). I know my grandfather started helping his dad in construcktion at the age of 7 in 1920 or there about.
100% Women have always had to do important work providing for their families and communities. It seems through history that the more structured a society became, the more rigidly defined were the roles that women could undertake, stripping them of their agency.
@@michelejowilson3900 "100% Women have always had to do important work providing for their families and communities. It seems through history that the more structured a society became, the more rigidly defined were the roles that women could undertake, stripping them of their agency." No. It was explicitly the industrial revolution that created the change to women working. This displaced women from the workforce, and it was a while before the available labour was within women's physical capability. Within that time, the new reality gave birth to corresponding social norms, which took a while to shake back off again. It wasn't about the level of structure, it was the forcing of labour into an industrialised economy, and everything that that involves.
Great point, at the turn of the 19th century many if not all women worked. Look at WW 1 videos in England, women worked constantly. From what I noticed men did a lot of cooking in that era too, but I think it was simpler times when expectations of keeping up with the Jones and keeping the house clean and laundry 24/7 were not top of mind. Men (and women) had an outlet with the community, sports, church etc
I always hold the door open for anyone, male, female, old, young, ugly, attractive, abled, disabled. It is just common courtesy. I never knew it was supposed to be some big heroic, chivalrous thing done for attractive women only.
I think women, especially because of historical context, in general tend to understand that we contribute to society at large and don’t necessarily need a particular person or set of people to need us. When I think of being needed, I don’t solely think of individual people who rely on me but greater causes such as social change, solidarity, etc. What brought this to mind was a personal anecdote. Abortion is a hot topic right now and my dad was going on about how he doesn’t support abortion. I asked him “even if the child was conceived through rape?” and he said he thought the woman should still carry the child to term. I asked him “even if carrying the baby to term would kill her?” And his answer didn’t change. Then I asked him “even if that woman carrying the child was me? If your daughter was raped, became pregnant, and bringing that child into this world would kill her, you would still think that way?” He said of course not. I would want you to live. I would hate for that situation to happen to you. And this is a problem I see consistently with not only him, but many men and women too. Thinking only through the lens of how anything would impact their OWN life. When it was just some hypothetical woman, such a traumatic experience of dying from a child conceived of rape didnt seem like a big deal to sentence someone to. But as soon as it’s someone dear to them, it changes. Men are needed. We need them to contribute positively to society, just as we need any person to. We need them to learn to be ok with not being the default for everything
Ok so now apply your same logic to why men dont want to get marroed due to divorce. If you can understand the principle grear, but most women fail to and often deny all together the experiences of men UNTIL it happens to their brother or someone close. There are topics on both sides ignored by both sides
you dang right we are needed! don’t you like these nice structured shelters? with AC & electricity?! that doesn’t just come out of no where, you know 😂
@FaithwWorks but men enjoys those things too. Most men take their cars to the mechanic who is mostly a man. Most men don't know how to build a house but will go to other men and pay to build that house. Just like we have teachers, doctors, nurses, lawyers who are women and men. They are contributors to society.
@@billusher2265I still wouldn’t want someone else to die so I could live. A woman or a young girl is not less valuable, they shouldn’t have to die when their death is preventable with an abortion.
My ex thought he was a feminist, but he was aggressive and used anger and passive aggressive behavior to try to shape my behavior. (Really, it just seemed like he needed someone to pin his life frustrations on.) He wanted power over. As I tried to explain to him, I wanted power with. I want to dominate no one and I don't want to be dominated. I want to work with someone -- be on the same team.
What you described is not the male ideal now or historically. Especially the being passive aggressive part. That’s female behavior(not good ones) a man should direct. And submission is done willingly through trust and a shared vision and goal. Never through aggression and violence. On the submission thing, I believe every relationship is different. But a man having direction and leading is always a plus. And a woman should always be honored and respected. A woman should always feel valued. Anger can be masculine but it’s against the stoic ideal if expressed at the wrong time.
The main problem I feel that has been driven into the minds of men for forever, and now more recently into women, is that we are considered failures if we aren't fully independent by adulthood, which is absolutely stupid because we as humans are social creatures, not solitary creatures. We need dependence on others for a myriad of aspects, be it for emotional support, or stimulating conversations, economically, taking care of our offspring, social life, etc., and fulfillment in these aspects don't necessarily have to come just from a romantic/life partner, or immediate family. It can also be fulfilled from friends, or even just coworkers, or acquaintances with common hobbies, etc. Loneliness is something that we were never meant to be in. And it sucks that this lone-wolf mentality has been pushed so hard on everybody, especially young men.
Unfortunately "the lone wolf" mentality is what males call the "sigma male" which imo is alpha ,beta nonsense How many times has it be shown that that mentality was about animals in captivity
My husband and I have been married 52 years. We never had children which was unusually for my generation. We both worked all our lives at jobs that were not high paying we have similar family backgrounds as well as the same education level. We kind of settled into jobs that we were each good at we learned to work as a team. We were equally yoked. But sometimes I was frustrated because I had to work most of our married life and he was frustrated because he knew he did not have a high salary. We were each kind of “ forced “ into doing something’s” that the traditional roles of my parents generation took for granted. It is difficult for both sides today. But to try to turn women into men and men into women is totally wrong. My husband is bigger stronger and better at certain things and I am better at other things than he is. That’s just the way it is. I do not and would not want to date or marry a man who acts or try’s to become a woman and most normal most like do not want to date or marry a woman who wants to be a man.
As a woman who prides herself on being extremely pro female empowerment (and at times very flippant about the needs of men and boys) I just wanted to say this was an EXTREMELY valuable and intelligent conversation around the needs of society value for men and boys. It’s really made me reconsider the language I might use and how empathic I could be to hearing challenges raised by men where I might have simply brushed over it. Sometimes we forget, but a rising tide lifts all vessels ❤ Thank you!
While I believe it’s your right to feel ambivalent towards the needs of men and boys I’m glad you atleast admit this is how you feel. I wish more people would just admit they don’t care about the needs of the opposite gender instead of pretend they do.
It's not a societal issue it's more scientific if you look into it More about record low testosterone causing depression, lack of motivation, low self esteem, among other things. Men are also experiencing increased estrogen during birth and puberty which is not really normal. It's thought to be caused by microplastics blocking testosterone, and also hormone altering chemicals found in modern day food. There's also lack of community in many places, but I feel like that's simply the byproduct of the aforementioned, capitalism, or I guess the way American cities are structured, versus how walkable cities are
For me, a masculine man is one who is responsible, reliable, helpful, assertive/diplomatic (depending on what the situation requires), can do stuff around himself and the household, doesn't need to be told what to do, knows what's important in life, makes people around him feel safe, protects and cares for his loved ones. I don't see being caring as an inherently feminine trait, I think there are different ways of doing that, men being better than women in some. For example, some men are awesome cooks or give great massages. I also don't think that being vulnerable or tearful at times takes away from that masculinity.
One thing I've noticed about young people, not just men, is they are rude and mannerless. I work in post-secondary. People coming in and out of elevators and doors, just push through without looking to see if anyone is coming. They just bulldoze they way in or out. It's the minority who hold the door open. There's a lack of please and thank you. So, I really appreciate that man who holds the door open or waits and let's me go first. I always say thank you to him. I literally have to teach my adult learners how to write properly in a professional environment and use manners.
My observation has been quite different. The kindness that old people value is quite different from the kindness young people value. For instance, I've never seen a young person tear into a server for the wrong order. That's an old person dominated field.
@LCDRformat Well, I have seen young people discuss, not tear into, a server not doing a good job. I have seen young people talk to management about poor service. And, there are nasty people of all ages. My son had a sit down with BMW management about poor service, diagnosing the problem incorrectly, and then discussing how they will rectify the thousands of dollars owed on the bill. I've seen a young diva have fits about the long line for coffee. Huffing and puffing and stomping her feet. Bad manners comes in all ages, not just geriatrics. 😉
For a long time I felt alone, even with family checking in every now and then. Sharing how I was feeling would make me feel vulnerable and so I would hide it, pretend I was all good. Now reflecting on those times I can see how much I took away from myself, it truly is a self destructive path. I have a long way to go, but fortunately I have made it through the other side, now my focus is on building and living a life I love and being the best dad I can be for my daughter. Conversations like this are incredibly important. For those of you that feel lost, being vulnerable with the right person/people is scary, but most importantly freeing and empowering, you are not alone.
I’m a man that just turned 33 and I’ve been fighting suicidal ideation since I was 5. No one has ever told me that I was precious and important in my life
We are not precious. Women are precious by nature because they can be pregnant. And that's why they are insanely privileged. But they still want more! Being born with privilege and live it the whole live make them take it as granted and not even notice that
How sad for you! Trust me, you are precious and important to someone, and although we are strangers, you knowing that you are cared about and life is worth living is important to me. I care about you! God has a purpose for you and you will go on to do good things in life, no matter what the circumstances are now. Don't give up on yourself!
This is heart felt honest, meaningful conversation that has the “right tone”that did not “pander to either group” but gave a honest look at the needs of men. THANK YOU!!!!
The most risky thing I've experienced in relationships was going all in because that meant I was going all out from myself. Break ups would end life as I knew it and leave me to start again from scratch. It's a fantastic way to feel worthless and alone. I didn't meet the right woman until I was 29 and we've been married for the last 12 years with an 11 year old daughter. My second biggest fear is losing one of them. My first is losing myself. Our family unit makes one hell of a team but our individual independence and interests are our foundations. It's important to spend some time alone doing things that I love. It helps me maintain my relationship with myself and if I were ever to experience tragedy that left me all alone, I'd have hobbies and experiences to fall back on. When everything in our lives are attached to our relationship, such as friends and entertainment, everything is at risk. There's nothing attractive about someone who's single and has absolutely zero passions or interest for anything and we all know it. All it attracts are crazy clingers that put us back in the same situation they found us once they're gone.
@@gracefortheteam7726 thank you. I wish I could have grasped the concept from my parents divorce but it took me nearly losing my life and spending 6 days in ICU for me to understand several months later. It's a little more detailed version of, "you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself." Though we also have to learn to trust ourselves to be able to enjoy our leisure time alone and we can't have alone time in a relationship without trusting our partner, or at the very least realizing that if we cannot trust them, then our relationship isn't really worth our time.
This one of the most important comments on this post and echoes thoughts I've had about men needing to have identifies outside of just "dad" "husband" "provider" etc. Men are valuable simply from having been born, not because they've made themselves into a red pill caricature.
@@crowncliff my mom lost most of her social life when my parents got divorced. So much of what they did involved my dad's side of the family and although some of them didn't disown her, it was just awkward. The last girlfriend I had before I met my wife was only interested in parties and new things. She wanted the newest phone every year, the newest car every time she could upgrade and new clothes every time she got paid. When I finally realized how hollow she was, we were already living together. I promised myself that I wouldn't get into another relationship with someone that lacked passion and hobbies. The first thing that caught my heart from my wife was her love for black and white photography. We went on hikes and adventures to find more pictures to develop in her dark room and it was awesome. I don't personally share her passion but I don't need to. I only have to support hers. I screwed up when I started my journey as a dad. I wanted to be there for my daughter as much as I possibly could because my dad wasn't there for me. When I went to a therapist to address my depression, I was asked what I did in my time alone. I responded with work, commute and chores. I had no idea I should have been making a little time for some solo leisure here and there. I got back out into nature and at one point while training for a race, I did a multi day paddle in my kayak and camped on the riverside. When I finally saw the lake at the end of my 130 mile paddle I broke down into tears apologizing to myself for forgetting I was in there. I'm the best friend I could ever have and it's too easy to forget that. I resurrected and discovered several other hobbies now that keep me in good physical condition and my girls encourage me to do them because I'm a better father and husband when I take care of myself. I'm more content with life when I kick my ass in positive ways.
Richard Reeves gives the best breakdown on the term “toxic masculinity” being an ‘empty set’ with the alternative terms we should use: “mature masculinity” and “immature masculinity”. I agree.
You can add "toxic" to describe anything. A term need not make or break anyone. Obviously toxic masculinity describes male aspects that go to an unhealthy point..like protectiveness turning to dominance. I'd think toxic femininity would mean women who use sex or attraction to prey on men. That makes sense and doesn't bother me as a term since it makes a rational point.
Toxic masculinity is basically a derogatory term for the man who belongs and wishes to belong to his tribe. Customs and culture inherit. This postmodern experience is harmful because they are taking men out of their tribe, out of their pack their community. Shoving them into this multi cultural experiment. After tens of thousands of years in their tribes??? Are you insane?!
Why do we need to be “needed” rather than “wanted/chosen”? I don’t like being “needed” because it feels like being used/trapped. There is something empowering about feeling “wanted/chosen” without being “needed” that I wish they’d explored more. I want to always "choose" my partner and for my partner to "choose" me every day out of our mutual love and respect for each other. And agree that if that ever goes away, we will discuss it together and assess whether this relationship is still fulfilling/worth continuing together.
Because what people want changes every day and raising a child takes 18 years. I wish women would take that serious instead of focusing on whether or not they want to party. Modern women suffer peter pan syndrome.
Needs equals dependency. If you can gate keep a persons access to meeting their own needs it's a powerful form of control and leaves them helpless. In my experiences people who are needing to install themselves in a position to meet your needs are trying to covertly control you as a means to meet their own interests. I want my autonomy. It's much more powerful to be wanted by someone who can walk away from you at anytime but doesn't because they recognise your worth.
Oftentimes, the purpose of men is found after much experimentation, trial, and tribulation. I have been through many such experiences in my young life. It is through these trials that I decided to pursue a career in clinical and counselling psychology to help men (both young and old) to navigate life with the necessary skills that only another man can understand fully. I even started a podcast to start a documented journey of this goal - from down in South Africa. This podcast has been an inspiration for me since its inception and I hope to, one day, be able to make an impact in the same ways that you have with "The Diary of a CEO". Continue being great!!!
I'm a 78 year old male just sitting here crying thru much of this. Have lost so much over the last couple of years all of which has led to some horrible loneliness. My late wife as well as my later girl friend provided my social network. Now like many men I'm on my own and as has been discussed not doing well with building my own. In fact, failing. A very hard time. And wow, are those evenings hard
Loneliness can be so bad :( I hope that it passes for you and that you can find lots of good connections again. I hope that there are some lovely neighbours, people near you that are also looking for connection as well. My Dad is on his own after my mum died and he is a similar age to you. Sending love.
My childhood wasn't particularly sheltered and my parents were terrible role models. Nobody told me how to do the important things in life or how to have a healthy adult relationship. Studying hard, building a career, fostering love & friendships - I had to figure out my own way. Stop blaming other people for your outcomes in life, it's UP TO YOU to make it work!! 👍
The first step to successful investment is figuring your goals and risk tolerance either on your own or with the help of a financial professional but it's very advisable you make use of professional.
I know Laura, she has really set the standard for others to follow, we love her here in the UK as she has been really helpful and changed lots of lives.
Men’s mental health is important to me, so I’ve been searching for ways to help boost men’s confidence and sense of purpose in everyday life *without* turning it into something romantic. The examples you provided (thanking them for opening doors, accepting offers to help with overhead luggage, allowing them to sit where they can see the door, etc.) are methods I have taken on instinctively. According to this interview, my instincts are correct in this. I may not save a man’s life by doing these things, but perhaps what men need is to see that they are valued in society and thus should go on living because they do have something to offer. Hopefully these subtle things make a difference. And if there are any men reading this, please stay. Your life has inherent value, and you have strengths and purposes unique to you. Pursue your interests, passions, goals, hobbies, and dreams. Build a life you love. You are worth it.
think that is partly because the feminist narrative is that men by default get to do everything so we have to be told what to stop doing. conversely they believe that women are inherently enslaved and prevented from doing anything and so have to be told what to do. And so are kind of expected to be paralyzed into inaction until given a directive otherwise.
And the list for women? Only the encouraging of every form of capital vice. This situation is very unstable and can not last. In the end, second wave feminism will dissaper
Its because throughout history men have always been manipulative and toxic to women and women are starting to understand they don’t need men to survive like in the past unless they treat them well.
All i read on the internet is men hating women and want to harm women. Not the other way around. And in my country everything is manly. Disgusting place to live in.
Well, technically they aren't needed. At least not by women. Nowadays women don't necessarily "need" men, being in a relationship is moreso something you either choose to do or stay away from. Nothing wrong with that
"The women's movement was about women securing economic independence, not about men to losing it." Such a good statement that is often lost in these kind of debates. GREAT PODCAST! THANK YOU!
What is needed from men now I believe is… for them to sit with their emotions. We thank you for keeping us alive for centuries but now it’s your time to also heal and be given the space to do so without needing to keep the lights on. All in the name of love for humans and earth conjoined 🙏 🔱❤️🔥✨
So good. Eloquent. Said all of proper things in the best way. Stimulating conversation that broke the communication barrier between my partner and I. I told my little brother (who is currently going through a nasty split) he is loved and needed. I held him tight as he cried in my arms. What every man needs to hear. Highly recommend watching/ reading Mr. Reeves. Thank You.
1:42:55 Avoidant men: thank you for bringing this topic up! I’m so heartbroken by seeing men avoid conflict only to have to pay with failed relationships and failed businesses. May our men be healed from this so they may live the wonderful assertive lives they deserve. ❤
The poster was discussing avoidant men, and you replied with a generalization about all men. I am not arguing against the point of being balanced, I am saying the way you word yourself is offensive to a gender.
@@SC-sh6ux problem: the balance woman wants is not what men perceive as balance - you are demanding that men act like woman, and psychologically speaking, that is what is causing men to fail, for our brains are just different. Sorry, but it is just Nature - its not saying that "woman bad, men good", but a simple acceptance of our distinctive diferences.
@@KimWest-hv4tv I'm a woman and it is offensive if it's a generalisation and certainly not true. I'm no expert in men, as I have dated women for the last 20 years and I'm in a long term relationship now. However I have a very large family with many wonderful men, uncles and cousins. They were raised a certain way. I only had a 1st and last boyfriend many years ago and he was an incredibly wonderful soul. Although I realised then I wasn't attracted to men I can 100% say my only experience of a man in a relay was respectful, kind, hard worker and open to talk about anything and open to listen to anything. We're still good friends now and he found a beautiful and wonderful wife for himself. Maybe you need to surround yourself with the right people. That's on you dear.
My boyfriend opens my car door for me every time and I love it. When he does things like that, I realize that this is a man I can spend the rest of my life with because he is so consistent, reliable, and honors me when he does things like that for me. It’s important for us to remember our differences and not forget who we are so we can come together and create a better team. But if we try to pretend we’re not different and act like we’re the same, we forget our strengths and become good at nothing.
When I open or hold doors for girls in public; they give me the most weirdest look as in it’s something from the 1800’s. Edit; I also do this with elderly; children and men,, other humans.
Well its always good living in the moment, not constantly searching for some approval in our memory, because I read this nonsense, or I watched this news, or whatever.
@@Stevo-klo45453hi, it's me, one of those girls🙋♀️ personally I'm weirded out by this because it's so rare and I'm not sure if there is an expectation attached to it, like to talk or what is the point of it. It feels a bit patronizing to me too but now I can see why some apreciate the gesture
This interview encapulates a lot of the complexities I have experianced involving my place as a woman and my relationships with men. Being raised by my grandmother, she was very forthcoming about her personal struggle as a Woman in the early-mid 1900's, working and trying to raise a family. The imbalance in her marrage, relationships, and workplaces and the ensuing liberation following the civil rights movement for women. She always told me how important the fight to win our rights was and to never take it for granted. As I grew up I noticed a growing, but unspoken problem for the men in my life and their struggles. And now as a grown woman and a mother of 2 boys, I want to help them learn what being a good man means. A lot of your talking points hit home to me. You explained things I have noticed but could not put words too. So, Thank you for taking the time to talk about this, its very important. I love your comment that pointed out the flaw in thinking that in order for men to give women more space, they felt the need to get smaller. But, Bridging the gap between genders and our roles in the modern era required empathy for eachothers battles, and appreciation for eachothers strengths. Men are important, and cultivating, as he put it, mature masculinity, is necessary and absolutly needed for men to flourish in our changing society.
It's so unfortunate that people have to say "men are important" as it always should have been without having to say it. That to me and the men I know is as a result of a lot of serious neglect and ignorance towards men. Imagine saying "women are important", how does that make people feel? It in and of itself exposes a hidden bias towards men's vital role in everything. That needs to be addressed first.
One correction: that famous divorce lawyer said that, although women do usually file for divorce, they are not necessarily the ones "precipitating" it. There is a difference between WANTING the divorce and HAVING to file for it.
True. I filed because my ex husband pretty much forced me to do so. He was deployed and wanted it done before he returned so that he could marry another. I obliged as it was enough for me to walk away. I filed and he agreed to everything because he wanted it so bad. I asked for things I was entitled to and walked away from anything I couldn’t carry. I wanted a clean break.
Yet lesbian marriages divorce at much higher rate than the males. Which makes you wonder. I'm sure once the political climate changes, we'll know the truth of the matter.
@@Bl00dMalicemen love to play ignorant. If the woman is taking car if the kids which she does majority of the time, it’s their money. If he made her stay at home via any sort of agreement and she was doing maid work- it’s her owed payment if it doesn’t work out. That time is money she could have made and services rendered unpaid for.
@@RojaJaneman And then how involved is he in their lives? You know, studies say the biggest contributor for children to end up in crime is a single mother household. Also what I often see is that women withhold affection, respect and intimacy after a while into a marriage. I think it's coded in their DNA to fall out of love after a while. So much so that I usually don't understand how men can stay for so long sometimes. That's why I'm wondering, why exactly did your husband want a divorce? What I think is also coded in their DNA is that they desperately want to be seen as good in the eyes of society, so they never admit their fault. That's where the disparity comes from between what people say is happening and what I observe to be happening.
At 1:30( A close guesstimate in your podcast), your guest mentions that men prefer conversations side to side. I too prefer side to side conversations. The only reason that I can think of is that there is less pressure or overstimulation. I used to be a huge fan of eye contact, because I was taught that it shows respect and confidence. As I have gotten older, I’ve come to prefer side to side. A teacher that I used to work with(I work in Special Education, with students who need extra help with social and emotional learning.), introduced me to side to side communication. It made it easier to communicate with my peers(I am working on overcoming social anxiety.). I have no problem giving eye contact to kids and connect with them well.
i'm guessing the reason why women like face to face, generally speaking, is to see the other person's face. it helps to inform what feeling you should feel but also read their face on if they are telling the truth of BSing. That is to help with social games and maneuvering. Us guys we tend not to engage with such things, but rather the only reason you'd look someone in the eye is to assert dominance. That is the big reason two men would do so is if a fight was about to happen. Someone is about to get hurt. So there is a natural sense of challenge to it. Most of the time when talking to other men this is not our intent. Also, much of the time when us guys talk its either to communicate what we are doing or to take our minds off what we are doing. Most masculine tasks aren't things where you can quietly sit face to face and chat while doing. There are other theories to this which likely tie into the up above stuff and i've heard it from interrogation experts. Sitting across from each other is more adversarial. It is more of what you would do when wanting to pick a fight. More for when lying, bullying, dominance, and other such social games or manipulation. Sitting side by side is more cooperative and friendly. And so depending on how an interrogator wants to approach a witness, or suspect, they will either sit across from or adjacent to the person so as to help crack them open. plus i think there are more romantic scenes in movies where the couple is sitting side by side as opposed to face to face.
This is also a good way to have an important conversation with teenagers of any gender. Side by side in a vehicle, or doing a side by side task. It allows for a deeper topics to be addressed and the ability for the hearer to process while not being starred at.
I have a “script” for men. Grow up, be a functioning adult (not a child), get a career, make income, get married to a person you like and have common goals, have kids if you want them. Live your life by embracing things you love and enjoy. OR, don’t get married, focus on yourself and your career, and enjoy your life. And with both, BE A GOOD HUMAN BEING!! That’s it!!
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
This was a good talk. I question his theory though. Many young men have no desire to become husbands and fathers. A lot of them don't even want serious relationships. Society can't give you a purpose if you don't want any responsibility or commitments to people.
It’s an egg and hen situation I guess. It’s like you know depressed people have no motivation and without motivation you don’t do stuff. And if you don’t do stuff you get depressed. I agree that being father is not always the answer. But it’s to find situations that balance commitment with passion and engagement where the men are both leading and in control of the situation and also be used to accept situations controlled by others that they initially not would go for themself
@@litjellyfishstoicism and martial arts habw always been a sure fire way to fix things look at the shaolin monks celebit but are happy and strong u don't need a women there's different types of love epicurus teaches how friendship true pure friendship is the best love and u can only Foster that type of friendship through hard work and suffering together and martial arts a realy good way to do so mountain climbing also good anything hard to do physical and mentally
@@all9472 exactly. Then again if you want a woman that is normal and great. Just don’t hang up yourself on it. And about purpose all that gets dopamine flowing is great. You don’t need to be a monk to do material arts. Sometimes a walk and a bit of mindful thinking is great. Problem is that many boys and girls in this time are not even exposed to that sadly
@@all9472 also you bring up a VERY impersonation point. You don’t need a woman for all interactions. Heck even you should not have all types with a woman. Why. Becuase it’s seldom possible. And same goes for the woman. A relationship with yourself. Relationship with a partner Relationship with male friends. Relationships with elders. And sometimes it’s also good to have relationships with children And in today’s “modern” world I would add that a platonic (this is the hard part) relationship with a female friend can be good. And none of those relationship should really need to be tied to the other types but stand alone. With as you mentioned the relationship with oneself Pure personally the only relationship I don’t avocado for is the one with a god. If it works for people fine. Everyone needs sometimes to believe in something. I just don’t see that as mandatory. If that is a way to have your relationship with yourself so be it but I think one is perfectly fine with that without any religion. Then there is great values that many religions have. But those values can be taken anyway without a belief of afterlife or a deity That said I am talking about religion. Being spiritual is for me very different thing
I think you'll find many young adult men saying the same of women with regards to becoming a wife and mother. Both can be right, I think neither men and women have much interest in it.
As a native American, I’ve always been taught that elders are sacred and sometimes I feel we need to get back to that. There is nothing more heartwarming to me than to be in the service of an elder.
I listened to this podcast and found myself nodding my head in agreement so many times as this is an issue that I've been concerned about for years. So, first of all thanks to both if you for this. One thing I feel was not stressed enough is that men and boys need to consider their habit of competing against each other, putting each other down even when it's meant as a joke. This has (in my opinion) a big impact on how men feel about themselves, always comparing. When they're in trouble or struggling they don't easily ask for help as they feel their friends will see it was a weakness. I've even witnessed boys mocking each other for needing help. It must be so difficult when they're feeling vulnerable.
And they try to insult each other by telling each other that they are acting like women. I’ve always thought as a kid, what’s so bad about being a girl? “You throw like a girl”… I feel like that in itself builds up this hatred or feeling of superiority over women.
I respect your opinion and if you are a guy, then I respectfully suggest you find friends willing to accommodate you in that manner ( of which there are many). But for my self , and many other guys those expressions of insults are a recognized form of familiarity. In the same way women will refer to each other as “bitches” in non-derogatory ways it’s the same for men. My ability to insult you without your getting offended is directly proportional to the depth of our friendship as we are both aware I mean it without any bad will. These insults also allow for free dialogue of which we can display our differential or discerning opinions with one another without worry of offense. Should any word or phrase cause any real harm, most guys simply set a boundary of displaying the dissatisfaction with that word or topic. After one more joke or comment it’s is usually dropped and never brought back up, unless in an earnest question.
@@ijon-javonholmes1272 I’m a woman but as a child it made me feel like being a girl was a bad thing. It was in movies, kids at school, and just society etc. I grew up in the 80s and 90s, it’s a different time now. Maybe your comment wasn’t meant for me, but other little girls see this behavior growing up. It affects everyone
@@Artbynbru Yes and I think the word "sissi" in american vidéos when men are teasing each other is also refering to something "female" like. We hear "bitch" all the time too. Poor female dogs. What did they do to get used as an insult... In american culture (and english speaking canadian one too) they tease themselves so much. Almost to a mean level. I would not like to be in such a peer/friends/colleague' s group!
What an amazing topic! As a woman leadership coach raising 2 boys I highly appreciate this conversation. We need men to allow themselves to feel and yet embrace their masculinity.
Hahahahahahaha. Which gender is the one that complains about toxic masculinity? Which gender is the one that says they don't need no man? Society has and will continue to vilify men for trying to be masculine. The biggest gender issue in society is broken wahmen. Men are not good enough for wahmen be financially, physically, emotionally, "intellectually, or sexually. Wahmen live in delulu island, competing for the same top 15% of men. They have no problems sharing that men as long as he can provide financially.
The issue is that it is men who created the environment where they can't talk to one another about their feelings, etc. THEY need to change it. Women have little to do with this.
Oh yeah? Well, you and fellow feminists have done a hell of a lot culturally to push men down and elevate the "empowered female" myth at the expense of men.
Men feel just fine it is important to be able to control those feelings though. It's something that most men are just biological better at then women. Don't try to turn your boys into girls. It will not serve them well in life
My brother died my suicide when I was a teen. No judgement - he was in so much pain that the alternative seemed less painful. Little did he know how much we love him and miss him always. The struggle is real.
Yes. Slavery has not gone away, it has merely changed its form. It used to be driven by force and violence and now it is driven by the lie that we are "free". Which we are not because you need a job and income to survive and those jobs are working 8 hours per day, 300 days per year, until you are old and broken down. All to serve the people at the top who enrich themselves on whatever corporate slavery job you do.
inequality drives innovation, change and the struggle to regulate yourself in an everchanging world. This is positive. If there was true equality and stagnation, then there would be no change and a loss of purpose and meaning to do anything because complacency would be inevitable given the human psyche is biased towards this.
I felt unwanted, and also was convinced that everyone close to me, friends and family, would be better off if I was not there - that was the tought I had in early february 24 years ago, to this day I still feel like i'm unworthy and deep down aware that I have issues that makes it hard to connect with people (opposit sex, and relationships) but I am never going to get back to that place of wanting to take my own life, now that I have been so low and gotten a bit better, but getting there is not as easy as just talking to a professional, you also have to accept that you yourself can have issues and you have to change on some aswell.
Were you left to cry yourself asleep as an infant? That can lead to deep issues of Self worth. Parenting practices of humans has to change. Attachment parenting is so necessary. And truly loving and wanting a child. "Conscious Conception". And an astrology reading may give you a better sense of Self acceptance and understanding. 😘
Interesting observation to bolster this conversation.. I work a door supervisor at a cinema. I am at work right now whilst listening to this podcast. I decided to conduct my own little research. In the last 2 hours every time any size of group including a male has walked through the cinema entrance, without fail or of 250 counted so far the male member has reached out to open the door first. I have watched them position themselves to reach out for the door handle first... Without fail... Consciously or unconsciously... This is proof of the discussion happening live as we speak
Of all the amazing guests, and important matters I have listed to on your podcast, this has been in my opinion the most touching. I thought of my father who is now retired and clearly lost about what his new role is, my brother, who is a young adult with no guidance or a companion of his own, and my husband who leads the best example of a man in our everyday life, and it made me appreciate their struggles a lot more. Thank you Steven for all the amazing work you are doing with every new episode.
My single 28 year old son was telling me about a casual conversation he had with a buddy who is almost 30 also. They both were talking that if they died no one would miss them because they aren’t needed at all. They don’t have kids. They’re not married. My son said the only one that would really be affected would be his baby sister, I did not like that conversation. My 30-year-old son has health issues and lives with us. He has decided to never marry because of his bad health. We were in the emergency room one day and they asked him if he was sad or depressed or had thoughts of suicide. He told them he didn’t and they left the room , immediately upon leaving the room, he joked, “I have thoughts Of suicide everyday.” He just didn’t want to be admitted! This is an absolute pandemic. Thanks for discussing! (except for the polygamy part) Makes me mad at my husband when he didn’t even do anything wrong. Anyone comes near my husband and I’ll claw their eyes out.😂
I’m really sorry that your son feels this way. His whole family and friends would be affected. His role in life is to be happy and create positivity in the world and in relationships. He can do it, it just sounds like he doesn’t believe it possible for himself! Maybe therapy would help him 💜
@@rachaelhaines1576What if he only has that one male friend she mentioned? And she also said he only has one sibling, his sister. That's two people. That will forget about him if you give them enough years. Even in the Bible it's said about people, even the greatest people, that even THE MEMORY of these great important to society men and women will be forgotten in a few generations. The sands of time never stop blowing and covering up names, places and actions.
So many people feels this way nowadays, and you won't ever realize how prevalent it is. Men don't receive support, love or affection and we all believe no one would miss us. After all, the society has shown us we're nothing more than cogs in the machine and meat for the meat grinder of war. Now even our usefulness has been taken away, so what is the point?
@@PowerofRock24 this is what I don't get. Why need women to be economically oppressed to feel needed? If you intend to be a husband and have children, then your work today is so that you can meet a need. A woman still is vulnerable when pregnant and having kids, you need to be able to lead a family through all these ups and downs of life. It's just common sense to me. Why just make the logical leap to being useless? What about the support and emotional connection that women are craving for? Why reject providing that and making the leap to being useless? From my time viewing the bitterness in redpill, I have noticed that many of the guys have a failure in reasoning or logic. It's not that they don't feel needed, it's that they have a particular thing they want to do, and want to force it as what women must need. Ex. They insist women should be stripped of economic freedom because men don't care about talking to women or providing emotional support, what they want is to protect and provide and the woman to submit to them. So men are needed, but if we take the red pill, it will look like women do not want what some of these men are offering as the only construct for which they intend to be useful to these women, and so they ignore the needs they could be filling and jump straight to being useless. So men are useful, but some men need to learn how they as persons and their talents can be used to fill the needs that they ought to fill.
@@STak-ju7gx I never suggested women should be economically oppressed. But back in the 50s, women didn't NEED to work, though they did have that option, despite what feminists will say. In those times, men could provide for a whole family, just like men used to provide for an entire tribe with the hunt. In this economy, people can barely even support just themselves. Of course men feel like failures if you understand the way men's brains work. A man's entire reason to exist is to provide and be valuable. But how can he do that when employers treat their employees as expendable, and wages are at an all-time low. Women have only been a major part or the workforce for a short time so the difference is likely not as glaring. For men, they see their grandfathers that bought their own homes in their 20s and was married shortly after and still had enough money left over for retirement, luxuries and a nice car. But men today can't even get a date because or the current cultural dynamics, and they will never afford their own home or be able to retire. Then there is an entire sect of the feminist crowd saying "we don't need men" and "delete all men", basically kicking the dog while he is down. They also claim men have it better, but we don't see any evidence of that, except for the top 1% of earners.
My friend held a door open for a female. She had a go at him for being sexist. His response “I’m not holding g it open because you are a lady, I’m doing it because I’m a gentleman”. Absolute genius. That being said I’ve rarely come across a negative reaction for offering a get a bag down, holding a door open or carrying a lady across a puddle.
That doesn't mean we don't want it. It just means the women speaking for all of us that don't think like us are f coming across you before we can. As a woman who hardly ever sees this happen, let alone experiences it, I apologize that you've been through that
Holding the door is an act of kindness and thoughtfulness. Letting a person know they are seen. It definitely impresses me when a man holds the door for me.
@@KA-ux9qb please don't be too impressed, some men are doing it just to get you, they now know that it's a way to get women, especially when their character is not very impressive.. am not saying hate the guy.. but seriously don't fall for him JUST because he opens the door.. speaking from experience
Thanks Thanks I’m an educator, a youth worker and a social entrepreneur This video gave me a new reason of working and doing Thanks thanks thanks I will share this message with as many people as I can
The most important thing society needs is for people to say good things to each other. Whenever i’ve been genuinely kind and thoughtful of somebody, my relationships usually always go well with other people. Why? Idk. But carl g jung said it a long time ago. This society runs on ego, and when people notice you being genuine and nice cuz you actually want to, with no bad intentions. Too many strangers in the streets, too many this that. We forget that we’re here. Right now. And that’s something worth appreciating.
💯 Real happiness derives from the the fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
This guy seems to have all the right questions and no good answers, at all. Open doors, put yourself in danger, pay tax, expect nothing in return. Basically, put yourself out there, expect nothing, be happy.
@@MathsAintMathing I don't think you understand the point. Women are showered with praise for everything they do. Pushed forward in a way most men can only dream of. Men almost never ask anything of women, not really. Just that they be nice to us. Obviously this is on average, and doesn't apply to each and every interaction.
When a man loves himself he won't let society treat him like an expendable resource or to disrespect him... this love is the beginning of freedom, the thing is society doesn't like men that it can't exploit
The problem has nothing to do with society treating men like they are expendable The problem is with men feeling like they aren’t living up to their obligations and don’t have anything to offer The solution is not to ask society to treat men with kid gloves. That’ll just compound the problem (like it has been already for 50 years) The solution is for men to ignore the coddling and the kid glove’s approach and instead make it a point to thrive.
