DEPRESSION: My Story - ShannaMarieBVLOGS 

When you were talking about your journey, I saw myself. Like you, I've dealt with depression my entire life, but living in an Southern Baptist, African-American household it's taboo to talk to someone about depression. The response is always pray about it. So I lived my entire childhood into my late twenties with this heavy cloud over my head like you described. Even events that I should've been happy about I couldn't seem to enjoy them. When I finally decided that I was going to seek help, about a year ago now, I talked to my fiance first, and much like the guy you were dating he was completely unsupportive so much so he even joked about it. Needless to say that relationship ended, and although I haven't found an antidepressant that has worked for me (I've tried the one you mentioned)I feel better that I'm being proactive about it and going against the stigma of seeking therapy. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I watch almost all your videos but this one spoke to me because I felt like you were telling my story. God is using you in great ways and it's amazing to watch your journey.

Your TEST-I-MONY is exactly why you were meant to live in this life. You are reaching thousands with your journey. Thank you for your candor, honesty, and soul-baring. I am a therapist, but have struggled with functional depression at times. I applaud you using your platform to help others who are in emotional pain. God bless you brave lady.

I appreciate you for making this video. If you ever questioned your purpose, then you should know that you're doing it. We overcome by the blood and the word of our testimony. Thank you for sharing your testimony and thank you for being raw, real and honest. You don't know how many people you just helped and freed with this video. May God forever get the glory out of your life. Abundant blessings!

Hi Shanna, I truly believe that it was met for you to deliver this message to so many people that are suffering, you are an angel.

Your transparency and authenticity are a gift. Your RU-vid platform will and is inspiring so many people. You truly are a beacon of light💛

Shanna, I am so thankful that you shared your testimony because there are soooo many people in the body of Christ who suffer as a result of twisted theology. This is particularly true in the African American community because we are supposed to be able to handle anything and just take it to the Lord in prayer. My cousin has his PH.D in counseling and one of my closest friends has his master's degree in counseling and they both talk about how black families often go to the altar and do not seek the human resources and medical healing that God has provided. God heals in many ways and it is time that all of us embrace that reality. He can't be boxed in to what we think he should do. So, again, thanks for your courage and Holy Ghost boldness. So many will be blessed. Shalom.

This has been the most raw and unfiltered vlog ever

anti depressants and going through a self help program... Attacking Anxiety and Depression changed my life . Thanks for sharing your truth.

Shanna thank you soooooooooo much for sharing this! As a Christian, I agree with you, I wish mental health was dealt with in the Christian community and not judged. You don't even know how God is using you through your videos. This is huge! Very helpful. You are an absolute blessing. Love ya girl!

Thank you for sharing, you are not alone in this battle, depression is real and medication has helped me, I am a Christian and I feel no shame to share what I go to every day, sometimes people need to know, but I give God the glory because he helps me overcome , my husband is very supportive. I also sing in church and try to be active as much as I can, but there are days I have stay in bed, and that's fine too. That is me and who I am. God bless you Shanna.

Wow Shanna. It's great that you were able to open up and talk about this. I pray you continue to heal and get stronger mentally, emotionally. Being in relationship with God will help for certain but it's good also that you understood you needed some additional help and reached out to get the help. Thank you for sharing your story. I've never suffered with depression on this level but I'm sure there are others out there who have/are. I hope this helped them greatly. Praying for you and everyone out there suffering in silence.

depression is real! thank you for your transparency, i know this video will help many. my heart breaks at the thought of people hurting, being embarrassed by that hurt and yet dealing with well meaning people (or not) who are often dismissive of that hurt. blessings to you, shanna!

Shanna, thank you for sharing your story. The Lord is the ultimate healer, however like Paul, I really do believe that each and every one of us has been given "a thorn in our flesh." It is that one thing that we struggle with so deeply that we cannot seem to shake off. One thing I do know is that the Lord uses the very thing we struggle with to propel us into our purpose and to bring glory to His name. Like so many great men and women of God who struggled with depression, I encourage you and everyone to stay the course and continue to press through your circumstance. We are more than conquerors through Christ! God bless you!

The Holy Spirit has kept with a theme today. Praise God even in the midst of trouble because our victory is in our praise.I`m so happy you fought so you could help others in the same position. Keeping it real, we all have felt low or depressed at one time or another. No judgement here, your testimony just saved someone your don`t even know..... I`m sure of it. Thanks for allowing God to use you.

you're not alone. My third attempt at trying to commit suicide was because I didn't feel love; twice as a teenager with pills. Jesus said to me at my last attempt "I love you." The devil can never again persuade me otherwise that I am not loved.

Shanna there are no words I can say to Thank you for speaking on the truth about depression.. I will pray for your journey and wanted to Thank God for giving you the strength to speak and share this information on such a public form. Much love for you as I know this was not easy for you but a step forward!

Thank you my sister in Christ. I am taking that same med. I had one Christian tell me to stop taking it. Which I did.. I WENT BACK INTO THAT DARK PLACE. I was told that I didn't have faith... that I wasn't really saved!!!!! Fast forward several years I have gotten the help and meds needed for my chemical imbalance. I am no longer ashamed!!!! Thank you for sharing your story❤️ I watch and pray for you always.

If more Christians would be honest like you, I think it would really bless people. I too shared my battle with depression to the whole church and I was surprised at the people who told me that my testimony helped them see that they were not the only one dealing with depression. The enemy wants us to keep quiet. I took anti- depressant for a season and have been off for years. I was seeking the root cause of my depression and once I did, my life got better. I am challenged to back occasionally but I keep my focus on Gods Word and surround myself with good friends and being a blessing to others. Glad you shared your testimony. Keep being salt and light to the World❤

Thanks for being so open and sharing your story...Keep putting God first. My prayers are with you and I love you!😘😘😘😘

Thank you for sharing Shanna. I was prescribed an anti-depressant a couple of months ago after being diagnosed with PMDD. I have yet to begin taking the meds because of the "stigma"...but feel as though God continues to drop these video gems in my lap as encouragement and comfort. Thank you for your transparency. Be blessed!

This spoke to my soul!!! Thank you for sharing!!!

I thank you for sharing your story. You sharing this will help sooo many people. I appreciate you for being so real! You are loved ❤

Thank you for sharing your story and hopefully it will help others. I also experienced depression throughout my lifetime. I can remember feeling like I didn't belong from childhood and into adulthood. After my brother passed I had to seek help. I found a therapist who was also a christian and gave me the assistance I needed. My doctor put me on Zoloft and that made a great difference in my life. I no loner take medication and I thank God everyday for bringing me through some tough times. There is nothing wrong with seeking outside help, because I truly believe that the Lord is the Master Scientist and has made it possible for us to find healing in other resources.

It should not matter whether you are a man, woman, child Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, white, black, or multicultural, rich, middle class or poor Depression can affect anyone! No one should be alienated if they need help medically. Seeking an antidepressant is such a vital part of the healing process. I think of it like this. God gives wisdom to others so they can make others whole.

I don't suffer from depression, but my husband battles with anxiety (brought on by his previous marriage) from time to time. It breaks my heart when he's in the thick of it, because I can't take it away. Thank you for sharing your truth. It gives me a different perspective I didn't have before.

Shanna you are incredible! Thank you for this. I can assure you that it spoke directly to many. Love you!!!

to God be all glory Shannen. BC God is your everything you were already ahead the game, concerning Greg & depression. and everything else...

Shanna: You have immense courage and grace sharing such raw; personal emotions of exactly how depression can plague individuals! I cried! My gosh, how I can relate!! ThankYou, Shanna for opening up! Thank You, Shanna for keeping it 💯‼️ Love You, Baby Girl......You're Amazing...Thank God for you‼️You will help SOoooo many people by sharing this vlog and keeping it real‼️💝💖🤗💝💖🤗

Thank you soo much for sharing this part of your journey, and thank you for your courage!!!! May God continually give you strength and courage to deal with hardships day by day.. I'm a Christian, in my 30s and I'm contemplating seeking a therapist because I'm in a rut at this present moment in my life. These past few years have been difficult for me, but God has been awesome throughout it all.... I feel insecure most of the time and I consider myself an introvert... but I believe that things won't be like this always for me, so I know a change is gonna come! Like you said "we're fighters!"

Thank you for sharing! Your story has put all my emotions and feelings in perspective. I have a better understanding of my emotions and feelings. I really appreciate you.

Seeing a good therapist has been the best thing that happened to me.

Hey hon! You have made an honest statement here. I'm glad you are here on the YT! Someone needed to hear that today! Stay blessed. I feel like you should write a book.

I was always shy as a child - extremely shy. When I started public school after being homeschooled for some time, I was excited to possibly overcome my shyness but bullying really made that challenging. Bullying often can from being "too smart" or "too proper" or not caving into peer pressure. Ironically, I enjoyed public speaking, sports, and anything creative...but I always felt most valued in solitude and in small trusted circles that allowed for connectedness. I've had two pituitary surgeries in my early 20s and since then my sleep and various other hormonal issues have been off balance depending on the day. While I've always been a fairly healthy eater, I become a little more educated about holistic practices each year and I heard about GABA last year from an account on RU-vid. I tried it and it has tremendously helped me with my anxiety and worrying/sense of perfectionism. Also, my sleep is not as interrupted during the night - note, this is what the supplement has done for ME! Everyone should research the supplement and its extensive benefits for themselves! Also, if there is anyone in grad school on here I am sending you lots of positive love and light, especially during this crazy season of the school year. Graduate school (and undergrad) mental health isn't always touched on but with all the pressures that come with producing research, teaching, etc. it's important that we stay in touch with a positive higher power/the Heavenly Father Yahweh (whatever your beliefs may be) and be intentional with your self-care as consistently as possible. Shanna, thank you for sharing your story. I've shared on my FB page. Each one, teach one, ya know? One Love to everyone reading this.

When I say your video blesssssed my soul....You really encouraged me as a sister in Christ to seek help when you need it and it's not a indictment on your faith. Please keep sharing your truth.

This is your purpose to speak to people about depression...Anytime you're going through something bad if you trust and have faith in God a blessing always follows it!! May God continue to blessed you!!

Thank you Shanna for sharing this awe inspiring and real account. You have really clarified alot and I truly understand depression. You are so accurate with respect to persons who are believers and are close minded as to fact that even Christians can suffer depression but it does not mean that God is not present, What they fail to understand is that circumstances in life causes us to battle various attacks of the enemy but it does not mean that we fail to trust God. It is our faith which is tested and it is only when you overcome then you can rejoice in your suffering. You are a strong woman of God ..continue on your journey.

Wow!!! What a powerful story. Thank you for sharing. I was so glad to hear you mention the stigma and judgement that Christians who struggle with series of mental health are faced with by other Christians. That is a real problem in the Church today. So many people suffer in silence or take other drastic measures due to fear of what their fellow Christians will say or think. By the Grace of God I do not suffer from depression, but my husband has been on many combat missions and he suffers from PTSD it wasn't until after he was home a few years ago that it got really heavy for him. We are very much into our Faith and the Word of God so he was thinking this is all I need God will make it better He will heal me, that went on for about a year until it got to a point where it was taking a huge toll on him which affected our marriage, and family. We finally talked it out and faced it as a united front and got the mental health support that was needed. It's been 4 years and it was a Blessing for him that he got the help he needed ,and for us as a family. Life happens to us all and your honest story is like a breath of fresh air that is so needed right now. Many people are hurting and feel alone like no one cares and they feel like they want to end it all. So I hope and pray your story will make those on the outside looking in more aware and compassionate. God Bless you Shanna.

Thanks so much for this, Shanna. My whole life I've been told by my family and friends that what I experience is not depression but everything Shanna described in this video I have gone through including the suicide attempts and asking God about what my purpose is. I will be seeking counselling this week and start the journey of getting my life together. God bless Shanna!!!

Thanks for sharing your story. I wish more Christians help each other instead of being judgemental. I will keep praying for you Shanna !

I can relate to your story SO much that I literally had tears watching this. I too was depressed as a young child even though I had nothing to be sad about. I would cry everyday getting ready and during school. I finally got on medicine after a long while. A couple years ago I had to have surgery and tried coming off my meds and I was a mess. I had nothing to be sad about but I would cry daily getting ready for school and during the day in high school and would look forward to going home and going to bed as soon as I got home. I went back on my med and I know exactly what you mean with the dark cloud we were living through being lifted. I also want to mention for those reading this that I went to many therapists and lots of counseling and I too had a chemical imbalance. Thank you so much for sharing your story, you are such an amazing person. I am always praying for you and sending you love!

Thanks for sharing your testimony. You are amazing. May God continue to bless you. You are in my prayers.

I love you Shanna. Like you said, more people than not suffer from depression and are unhappy....even the ones who claim to be so happy.

Thank you for enlightening me. I used to look at you and think, "Why would she depressed, she GORGEOUS." It goes to show, that you just never know. Very superficial of me, I know, but truthful. I will change my thinking. Also, thank for sharing. It was very personal, but I hope others have learned something as well.

Thank you for speaking the truth that therapy doesn't mean you don't believe God and his Word. Your life is and will continue to be a testimony to many! God has so much greatness in store for you.

Your testimony will impact so many lives...continue to trust God, and keep God first... He has sooo many blessing in store for you :-)

I dont feel like this is my home either ...so I feel you

I understand your journey all to well. I have battled depression/panic attacks for years. I take medicine as well and it changed my life. I am a believer and I did not want to under estimate God's healing power. I realize I did have a chemical imbalance and I needed help. I am glad I got the help I needed and it has made me stronger in my faith. Stay strong my sister!!!!

Omgoodness Shanna, I am so impressed by this video. I was going through the same things but was too embarrassed to let people know and pushed my feelings deep down inside and suffered for it. i too am a VERY empathetic person and put others before myself which left me feeling lonely and depressed. Thanks for the reminder that my feelings are valid.

Also agree with you that God is the ultimate healer, whether He does it instantly or gradually, whether through prayer, counseling, or medication or all of the above!

Wow wow Shanna! Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. I was crying along with you at some points. I have definitely had some low points in my life but your story has shed light on suicidal thoughts/depression. I appreciate your heart to let us in your life. This truly is your purpose! God bless you 😘🙌🏾👌🏾

Thank you for sharing your testimony. May God continue to heal and use you for the of His Kingdom. Bless you Shanna

All I can say is thank you and may God bless you always.

Thank you for sharing your story! I have heard similar things. To me, that is like saying if you love Jesus, you won't get a cold or take cold medicine, or get cancer and take chemotherapy. I would humbly submit that those who believe that a lack of relationship with God is responsible for depression need to read the psalms and the story of David; or read about Jeremiah (he was known for his "lamentations", i.e. crying all the time, a symptom of depression); or about Job (who wanted to die and cursed the day he was born, again behaviour related to depression and depressive episodes.) ALL had a stellar 'relationship' with God and are specifically mentioned in conjunction with their Godliness. AND their stories have brought encouragement through the ages. Your story is doing the same. I truly believe you are here and vlogging and sharing for such a time as this. Again, thank you very much for sharing your strength and your testimony.

Girl this was the powerful videos I have ever watched on RU-vid. I know I can definitely relate just know what you have gone through is so common. You honesty will help many. Thank you for sharing.Hang in there and God Bless You!!!!

Bless you Shawna. You are so beautiful, I to deal with the same issues and they have affected my life tremendously. I have been married twice before the age of 30 no kids, which caused another issue for me. I have felt worthless and wondered why I'm still here taking up space. I have taken an anti depressant, but it wasn't working for me. I try everyday to make it through. I truly understand what your dealing with. Be and stay Blessed. Sending hugs your way.

This is an awesome vlog, Shanna! God is so good and has brought you to this point for a greater purpose. All the best to you!

Thank you for sharing your "truth." You're a beautiful person inside and out. God bless you. 🙏🏾✨💖✨

Shanna! I just simply love you. I hope God continues to blessed you.😘

So proud of you for sharing! I know it will help so many: those dealing with depression and those dealing with loved ones with depression!

Thanks for sharing your story, God is so Good! If you don't have a test, you can't have a testimony, Be Blessed and stay encouraged!

Thank you for this! I deal with depression as well so this was great to watch and connect with u...... keep going, we r all hee for u along the way ♡

Shana this video was wonderful and honest and i loved it.God Is Always First In My Life and i am so glad u are on the road to keeping your beautiful smile.

So proud of you Shanna, this video is very transparent and authentic. I truly believe that this was a God sent for many. Continue to be willing to be used by God and he will continue to see you through this very difficult time in your life. Stay blessed and know that you are loved.

Not only is mental health not fully looked at in the Christian community, there's also a HUGE stigma with it in the black community as well. A lot of times when black people go to get help, they are looked down on. Good video....Keep encouraging people Shanna.

I thank God for you Shanna. You are awesome!

I'm so humbled by your confession. A sincere thank you,wishing you only the best in Christ! Thank You so Much!🙏

Thanks Shanna for sharing your story, it does help. love you & may God continue to Bless you

I appreciate you sharing i truly understand what you have been going through it felt like you telling my journey also many prayers coming stay positive

Girrrrl, your testimony!!!!! You have blessed sooo many people. I have a friend girl who is my sis in Christ and she reluctantly confessed to me that she had been going through depression but was sooo ashamed and FEARFUL that other Christians would 'judge and condemn' her as not being saved. Some Christians erroneously believe that if a person is suffering with depression that it's the devil and they must be out the will of God. But, I told my friend who by then had tears in her eyes, that I was sooo glad she trusted me enough to confide in me. That made me feel so special! I knew I needed to let her know that she had begun her healing journey and I referred her to Mental Health counseling (which is another huge barrier in our Black community) so we had to 'fight' through that stigma. But, she said she was going to get on an anti-depressant and get counseling. Next time, I saw her she was beaming and thanked me. She said the pills were REALLY helping her and now she deals with things differently and 'see' things differently. Shanna, I'm glad you shared your testimony, it helps those of us who do not suffer with depression but have maybe gone through feelings of loneliness, helplessness, discouragement, and other things and had been carrying that burden alone. You teach people that it's okay to reach out and get help!!! Thanks for Sharing and God bless you baby doll!!!

Thank you for sharing. Your talk on depression so needed.

Depression is EXTREMELY horrible! I went through it myself and after years of fighting against the thought of taking antidepressants, I came to peace with it and it was the best decision I've ever made. It made SUCH a huge difference in my life. I too believe God can heal and prayed daily for healing, and God provided healing through the medication. Thank God for doctors and thank you for speaking up!

You have helped so many people with your vlog! You are truly a blessing, Shanna! The stigma is real and makes it worse for people who are already having a very hard time! We as Christians should lift each other up! Thank you!

THANK GOD.....shouting at you! Praise The Lord you listened!!!!!! Like your vlogs and can't wait to watch more of the purpose God has for you!!!!!

Shanna, thank you so much for sharing your story...God bless you

Thank you so much for sharing this, very powerful ad inspirational!!!

Thank you so much for being transparent and authentic. I have had some rough patches in my life but i can honestly say i haven't really dealt with depression. I appreciate you for giving me a new perspective and grace for those that deal with this. May God continue to be with you and all those that are affected by it.

You are so amazing God will continue to strength You.❤❤

I've heard that so much being a combat veteran and having ptsd and depression I hear that from Christians a lot. God can heal you if you seek him. That doesn't mean I'm Not a Christian and don't have faith because I went to war twice and it changed me. Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing...I have struggled with depression related to my menstrual cycle at first and used meds to help then was healed where I didn't need meds. But over the last 5 years the enemy has used depression to keep me from what God has for me. I've had two failed relationship the last 2 years and the last one was a failed engagement and really put into a bad place. I too felt like Lord just take me now ( not suicidal) just felt like I had no purpose. I just went numb versus the heaviness that I usually feel with depression. But thank God, He has kept me above water and I have not slipped into a deep depression but I just feel numb. It's only been 7 months since my fiancé and decided to call it quits but praise God I'm way better off he was not ready for marriage. I so appreciate you sharing this could help so many people...

Thank you for sharing. As a Christian Counselor, I appreciate your honesty. You indeed are a lovely person inside and out. I am extending a virtual hug to you. God has truly revealed your purpose! By the way I am a new subscriber.

I just want to thank the lord for saving you for such a time as this! Your honesty is so refreshing and so needed in the body of christ! Thank you and may the lord continue to use your ministry to set the captives free!!!

Thanks Shanna for sharing your story. I too struggle with depression and anxiety and I know how difficult it is. Your story was very encouraging .

depression is something else.... I'm so glad that you have gotten help early, lots of love and hugs~

Some of your statements mirror my life. May God continue to strengthen and watch over you. Thanks for sharing.

I am so proud of you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable to share such an intimate part of your are and what you struggle with.

Shanna what helps me in my times of depression is I always remember the scripture of 1 John 4:4, You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. Thank you for sharing your depression story Shanna.

Just a "Beautiful spirit "🙏🏾😇🙏🏾😇. We all pray that those thoughts are gone, never to return, IN JESUS NAME, everyone say "AMEN "🙏🏾 !!!!

Shanna, Thank you for this much needed statement/video on depression. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's so important for people to understand it's not just them and their is hope and treatment available. Thank you❣️

Ugh! Shanna I'm SOOOOO proud of you I could just hug you! God will use your testimony as your ministry and it's a blessing you realize that while you still have time on this Earth to perfect your ministry and serve others. To God Be The Glory for what He has done and will continue to do... I'm ecstatic about what He had planned for you.... love you sis' in Christ! 😘🙏🤗🙌

First, I like to thank God for putting the Professionals/Doctor's here on Earth & for giving them the Knowledge & Wisdom to Help Us. No matter what ills you (for instance) if you have high blood pressure and don't take your medication/change your diet as ordered by them you can have a stroke or a heart attack. Jesus is not here to touch & heal us today so his/our Heavenly Father has put the Professionals/Doctor's here on this Earth for this reason. I hope you continue you Share your Experience w/ your Mental Health issues as it can help those who need to seek & get the help that is needed for a Healthier Lifestyle. I'm happy that you were able to get the help you needed & agreed to taking the medication that has balanced out out which is making you feel better. Blessings!

Thanks Shanna for doing this video.I'm sure your story and being so real about it,will help many people that suffer with depression.You are a beautiful,strong and amazing woman.Let God continue to use you for his glory.I'm so glad you have found the right medicine that works for you.You are loved❤️❤️

Shanna you have been dealt some crappy cards in life and haven't been the luckiest in love but you are such an inspiration. Your positivity and honesty is very refreshing and I love watching your Vlogs. Thank you for sharing this story!

Thank you for sharing your story! There are many who will benefit from this. I can relate to you, you wear your heart on your sleeves. Your struggles makes you a more compassionate, empathetic and loving person. God is using you, let Him continue to guide you.

the dark places are so real..people have very little empathy..if they cud just a walk in some other shoes the world wud be a little be better..for me it was the kick of the life growing inside me that stopped me...so many people dont get the spirit to stop..we are not done just yet..thanku for sharing your truth..

You blessed some people today. Thank you for sharing your testimony.

great timing.. if you didnt know, this is mental health month - In fact, on May 1st the Empire State Building will be lit up to shed light on mental health and breakdown the stigma attached to it. they are using the hashtag #HowAreYouREALLY

Thanks for sharing! One of my favorite radio personalities talks about his new lease on life after starting medication for depression. Be bold and continue to be open. I will be attending a luncheon Saturday where Mental Health is the topic. The truth will set you free.

Hey sweet Angel! I COMMEND YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE TO OPENLY TALK ABOUT THIS! GOD HAS BIGGER PLANS FOR YOU MY DEAR! I AGREE WITH ALOT OF YOUR OTHER FOLLOWERS YOU ARE SO REAL...DEPRESSION IS NO JOKE...I SUFFERED MYSELF YEARS AGO AND WAS AT THE LOWEST OF THE LOWEST! THANK GOD I TURNED TO GOD! GOD BLESS YOU!

Hey! You have NO IDEA the AMOUNT of people you are going to help!!! Wow! You are Sooo Brave! I'm proud of your growth since the big change. Your Faith, Hope and Love for God really shines through in this Vlog. Keep doing what your doing my Sista'! love you!

Thank you Shanna for sharing your story with us. God bless you.