Depression Recovery Sucks Too 

A lot of people don't know that an eating disorder doesn't have to have anything to do with body image. There are many other ones that aren't just anorexia and bulimia. there's over eating because of stress or not eating because of it, there's arfid where a majority of people it affects is autistic people with sensory issues. There's cibophobia which is a fear of food. People with germophobia/mizophobia might develop an eating disorder because they're afraid of eating out of fear it makes them dirty. An eating disorder is when you don't have a healthy relationship with food and are willing to over eat or not eat, the reason for it doesn't really change it, it just makes it a specific type of an eating disorder.

Depression Recovery Sucks Too" man if that isn't the most relatable thing I've seen today ( Im ok ;-; )

Depression recovery is just as hard as going through depression. Myself, have gotten better a lot. But not perfectly as I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Once you get out of depression, there's always a chance that thoughts will come back, or physical reminders of it. Wasting so long in bed, doing nothing. For some people, depression never does go away. For others, it's just the thought of remembering. I've known I've had depressive thoughts since I was a young child, I just don't remember much from my childhood. So I can't say much. But I know I would just walk into a room and think of a possible way of dying. It horrifies me that I was so young doing that, and I'm still only a young teenager. I can relate to the part about being told you're a "healthy underweight", and having trouble eating. Though not the same situation, I have trouble eating because of chronic illness. But I get nervous about eating, but I'm always hungry. Sometimes I just overeat because I get bored, or I forget to eat and only eat a little. I'm not sure how to put in into words, but eating larger meals just feels like a chore. But I have no physical self-image I want weight wise, though I'm told I need to eat more. Usually when I eat almost anything it causes me physical pain, to me that's why it's a chore of some sort. I don't know much about myself, but I find myself wanting to improve somewhere. I have no motivation to do what I enjoy. Getting better even a little bit with depression isn't a temporary solution. Because it's natural to have those habits afterwards. "I" have only physically self harmed myself a few times, it's always been socially or mentally to me. I still have thoughts of ways to die, rarely. Sometimes I lay in bed all day, leaving my room dirty, forgetting to take care of myself, never leaving the house. *Thank you for making this video, it's helped me a bit.* Now, here's a small list of people who (I think) have helped me: To my one childhood friend from 5th grade who I lost contact too, thank you. To my one childhood friend who I've also lost contact too, thank you. To my friend who lives all the way across America, thank you. To my friend that became my first friend at a new school, thank you. To my Father, somehow, thank you. To my online friends, thank you. To my former online friend, thank you.

Thank you. I wish you to be at peace with all the parts that made you you.

Thank you for talking about this. I'm happy you're here.

I connect with your struggles relating to food. With ADHD, I need to kick up a storm inside my head to even get started with cooking. I rarely bother. Instead, I visit student cafeterias. One reason why my weight has been -20% the AMAB standard for most of my life. Sometimes I just wish I were a robot so that electricity would take the place of food. Would I slowly start missing it once it's gone? Probably.. I edited to chime in an anime recommendation that's helped me process existence. Serial Experiments Lain! Even though it's psychological horror, I found it's message uplifting.

Towards the end of the video was a lot of advice that I definitely wouldn't have understood until about a year ago. The biggest thing I learned since then is that its not bad advice just because you don't understand it. Sometimes you just need to give people the chance (yourself included). Thanks for the reminder --- genuinely.

You're dissociated from your feelings from that time, but that doesn't make them go away. That's why you don't feel hungry and you're still self harming, you're disconnected. That is normal, you were too young to deal with that, but as an adult you can do it differently. I'd recommend John Bradshaw books ("on the family", "the shame that binds you", "creating love" are good, there's some videos on youtube too) and Daniel Mackler's youtube channel. You're a smart person and honestly you're doing great!

I'm not truly one to be an expert or gone through the rough & rough on Depression, quite fortunate to have a good life, good family, valuable lessons and values in morality, but have been around so many loved ones going through such horrendous, dark and sad times, it really gets to you on how you'd do anything to help them or at least ease their suffering for a bit, watching them get worse as life beats them down relentlessly, or watching how they're able to pull themselves up from that void after much effort, so long as they have someone there to help and care for em, there's always the tiniest ray of hope, do the best you can, but don't hurt or lose yourself in the journey with them, everyone should always do their best for one another and live the best they can. (And YES soon as I saw the title & thumbnail, immediate click and watch fully, thank you again for this much needed vid, Riza, and All Will Be Well for us on this world.)

I don't get how people want to live