direct quotes of f***ed up things i've heard at the poker table 

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Beginning of the Covid pandemic, before things were shutting down. Guy at my table has asthma, we all know it. He starts coughing alot and no-one says anything. Asian man at the table, a few minutes later says, "If I did that, you all run away screaming"

One of the funnier interactions I saw at a table. Two guys get to showdown. One guy says “I’ve got Jack high.” Other goes, “I’ve got Jack…shit, you’re good.”

Stupidest/weirdest/fucked up thing I have heard: *flop comes three kings* Older gentleman: "KKK? Thats my kind of flop!"

The shot at phil bullying slime lmao.

Fucked up but funny, dude in a tourney told a balding dealer this, "if you let me we win this thing I'll buy you three months of rogaine." Fucked up part is he won and didn't pay up.

I watched a guy in a wheel chair get stacked twice and say “I’m gonna need someone’s help to hang myself out back” hahaha fucked up but funny!

After 6 seat spilled his beer on the table: "Floor to table 20! Hey, can we get a sippy cup for Jimmy here?"

At a 1/2 table, guy has 2 black chips but they're behind the others - dealer calls him out, big chips have to be out front or on top - other uninvolved guy says he's hiding those blacks like the underground railroad.

I was at a game with a drunk guy and his girlfriend who was 18 he was maybe 20-21 and at the table in front of everyone he said “after we get home you should put on a uniform for me and pretend you’re 14” idk if it was an inside joke or something but the whole table was laughing? He legit said he wished she was 14 and spoke of the things he would do to her, I stacked him for around $800 though

During the George Floyd protests, I was playing on the WSOP app. I’m a black guy and my profile picture is a pic of me. As soon as I joined a virtual table, some guy goes “Davion, shouldn’t you be out looting?”

$1200 all-in with a 2 outer on the river and I hit quad 8’s. The guy who was in the Marine Corp called me “un American.” And told me that I was rude because I didn’t thank him for his service to our country.

This has to be the most F'ed up thing that I ever heard at a poker table. I never told anyone this, but about 8 or 9 months ago I was at the Taj and it was late and Johnny Chan walked in. Everyone put an eye on him because he's Johnny Chan. He sat at my $300-600 table a couple seats to my left. Soon thereafter there wasn't even a crap game going because all the high rollers were watching him. Some guys at the table were just giving their money to him so they could say that they played with a world champion. A little while later this young hot shot sits down with $6k. Keep in mind you normally need $50-60k for this game. So the young guy mostly folds for an hour and then Chan puts in a raise. So when the young guy re-raises I figured that he had a wired pair of Aces or Kings. So Chan tries to bully him and comes over the top and plays back at him. The young guy doesn't wait 2 seconds and FIVE bets him. Chan then looks at his cheques, then looks at his cards and then looks back at the young guy and he mucked it. The young guy took it down. So Chan says to the guy, "Did you have it"? And the young guy as cold as ice says to him, "I'm sorry John, I don't remember." He then went South with his chips and went to the cashier. That son of a bitch made a move on Chan and he won. The whole time all I could think was how disrespectful it was that the guy called him John instead of Johnny. That's a true story!

A guy sat down at my table once and his introduction was simply “I love weed, I love cocaine and I love crystal meth”

Love that Helmuth call out. Frggn hilarious

Go vote for Biden? Aren't you all Canadian?

"in richer than all of you here combined" -biggest nit with $57 in front in a 1-2 game....

the other day some guy asked an old dude why he just limps every hand to which he replied 'well i'm not much of a raiser'

my biggest beef with poker is any time those pieces of crap actually run well and I have to see them leave with more than they came with. totally sucks.

I once hit a double gutter and cracked someone’s set…standard rant about me being a donkey to which I responded with “it’s ok, it’s only money” Villain who had just shipped all his chips to me said “I hope you get cancer” and left the table

About 13 years ago I sat down at 2-4 limit table. The dealer asked for my ID and I showed her a Mexican ID since I wasn’t a legal resident yet. Anyways she calls the floor man to confirm that it’s a valid ID and he approves. After he leaves she says “it’s my job to have you deported” I was in shock and didn’t respond, but everyone on the table defended me. One guy said “well you’re Chinese, maybe we should deport you back to china” she responded with a heavy accent “I am American” and the dude said “not with that accent”

Ninja laughing at phil has to be the best modern poker clip.

"But the ones I do hate tend to be the most profitable, so *gestures* " This! Smile, nod, and jot down the quotes for future video gold.

I stacked a guy at the end of the night and he then got so pissed off he blamed me for taking his kids lunch money..

Poker brings out the worst in some people. Opened my eyes about several people I legit considered my friends.

Just put out 5 thousand for me tossing my cards in a folding motion - Phil

Thank you for calling out Hellmuth! Because people are really trying to pretend like that wasn’t an angle and it absolutely tf was

I feel like this whole video is just Greg being salty at being angled yesterday

Stellar video, Greg. This aspect of live poker definitely isn't talked about enough. Keep crushing it dude!

Appreciate you calling out the awful dudes in the poker community. This is not political. You get to talk about your experiences

The shot at Phil was gold! 😂😂😂

I've played a few thousand hours of cash games both private and in a casino setting and I know for the sure you've a lot worse than these quotes. "Old enough to bleed old enough to breed" "grass on the wicket let's play cricket" "15 is basically 18" "who wouldn't bang a 16 year old, 21 year olds are like buying a used car" "but woman mature faster than men" "I only last 30 seconds she won't even remember it when she's older" These are just a few select lines I've witnessed in relation to the kiddy stuff

Playing a home game with a guy and his father in law. Guy tells him straight to his face “your daughter tosses my salad”

Sounds like a new catch phrase there - "It's ok to be a donkey, but don't be an ass".

This needs to be a new series of vids you make

YES! This needs to be a series!

The worst one I have ever heard was at RW in Vegas. Man probably around 70 told the table to come to either Vietnam or Laos if they would like to find a wife, stating that he could find them a girl as young as 11 if they wished to marry or sleep with. Was explaining how he had plenty of ways to locate underage women to marry. It was the most fucked up thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

That 17 joke reminded me of a particularly messed up joke I overheard at the gym. Something along the lines of if there is grass on the field than Im ready to play...

The “all in China man” had me rolling 😂😂😂

So, is this your first demonetized video?

The house manager for a "private" game once told my opponent that called my all-in shove, "Why would you call a man that literally said he's leaving? By the way, I'm rooting for you now". Why? Because we were 6 handed, I said I'm ready to call it a night, and the 80yo man next to me said he's leaving if we get to 5 handed. I told him these guys don't want the game to break this early, I don't wanna be a d**k, I'll stay. Then I flop a set 3 hands later and the guy sucks out on the river after the hs mgr said that. Frankly, it's really hard to get motivated to want to go back. Been twice, got crushed, so decided to avoid the vibe.

just making sure nothing ive ever said was up here lol

You can do a whole series of how people talk to the women dealers

anything tony g ever said lol

Context first. I was chasing a straight flush draw against an older dude. I had AK spades. QJ spades hits on flop. I call in late position. Turn is brick. I call 2/3 pot bet to force me all in for the river, going heads up. River comes A of hearts. I make top pair before exposing my hand. The gentleman: "Well I missed." I turn over my hand, AK top pair. The gentleman continues now. "The hourly high hand" *shows three queens* If he had made quads he would've gotten about 7500 dollars as part as an event, getting the best hand every hour. But he took my stack out and ripped my heart out too with the word play.

Drunk dude sitting at the table and hitting on the dealer hard. He didn't post his blind. She said, "You're big" and points at the spot where he is supposed to post. He says, "What am I? Say it again!" Me: "Ask her next hand.."

I usually tolerate a lot at a poker table, but what really bothers me is when adults get angry because they lose a hand that has a high win percentage. Why are they sitting at the table if they are angry???

That seems to be the hardest part about playing poker to me. I can only sit there for ten minutes before I'm just annoyed to the max and feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin.

It's pretty telling that he didn't include the actual Trump quote that was apparently said that was apparently racist.

Every home game I played in the red suburban bubble I grew up in were the easiest and most profitable games I’ve ever played. They’re such awful players. But with that I had to hear similar fucked up things at the table.

Props for the Armenian Mike reference. 🤣

" YOU SAY MY MOTHA?! "

Pub poker players in Australia have some incredibly out of pocket shit to say

i played a hand against an opponent where he thought i bluffed him. i didnt, had a full house whereas he probably had a flush from how the board played out. i win the pot since he folded and looks at me and says "you lucky zipperhead" didnt know at the time what that meant until i urban dictionary the phrase

I like this concept. You should go to the slimiest poker rooms and play just for this style content. Lol

A guy in a wheelchair loses a moderately sized pot. My friend: "Hey, at least it didn't cripple you!" 😮

“Clip that!”

The amount of times I've heard the following conversation at the table: OMC: So what country are you from btw? Me: I'm American. OMC: No. But where are you from FROM? Me: I was born in California. OMC: No. But where were you parents born. Me: ....California. OMC: Nooooo. Your grandparents? Me: ..... *internally as a 4th gen Asian American*

This seems super tame relative to my experiences at the felt

Old enough to pee 😂😂😂😂😂😂 i screamed lmao

Something. I heard couple weeks ago “ Alex Jones only tells the truth” Lmaoooooooo

Someone really said, "caaaaaaaaack sucker!! Haha I fold?!" Wow. Did the floor step in? Wow.

if I lose this pot I will be sleeping in my car tonight...

The first two sound like a joke 😂

A guy won a pot from Ukrain guy with AK and said.. i gues AK47 does work vs Ukrainians.

One more - don't worry, that wall of whites you're building over there will definitely keep the colored chips from getting in your stack.

What about the player thathas some issue with you, then proceeds to tell everybody else every tell you have that he has picked up. "ooo, see the way he flicked his cards, that,s a man who's picked up a good hand", "you just looked at your cards again to make sure you had it", "You looked at the pot to see how much to bet", "your hands shake when you have a good hand", Me, "if you knew all that why did you call?"

Love the dig on the recent Phil Hellmuth incident. Watching total amateur Alex Botez beat him was glorious.

one time this guy who was first to act made a bet and said “if you call your gay”

I got 3 way teamed, and after they took 1500 they said his drunk girlfriend didn't like me and sent them after me. There was an investigation and everything and at the end of the day all I got was an apology and lost 1500. Btw that was the lodge back in early days. Sucked.

This summer I played in as many home games as I could to grind up a roll before last year of college. Needless to say, the funniest (yet most fucked up) thing I saw at the table was some dude legit watching cock fighting. Like, legit chickens fighting. Best of all, he was BETTING on it. Still have the photo of him smiling at his phone. Priceless.

One guy was trying to tell a simple story of how he was driving from one poker room to another with a woman in his life. He was interrupted by his friend who sincerely shakes his head and says how are you going to go in the car for an hour with a woman!? “Make me too horny”. Then looks around at everyone and repeats himself in case you didn’t hear “Make me too horny”.

Guy at my table was bragging about his side hustle selling fentanyl.

Lmao the helmuth angle 🤣

‘You’re white, you would have no idea’ And they were serious

Not the worst, but quintessentially old man dinosaur. Young kid was taking down pots and afterwards kept showing one nut relevant card. Was obvious he had it every time. If he was trying to cultivate an aggro image, he’d show the bluffs. Old man becomes frustrated that the kid is wasting our time and exclaims “HE’S QUEERIN’ THE TABLE!”

Guy at my table loses a small pot to me and says I am happy to lose that pot. One year ago today I had a massive heart attack. Just happy to be playing. (This was a fun table with a lot of sh*t talking). I said that was today?Dammit, I f*cking bet the under. Literal total silence at the table... like 5 seconds of it. I am thinking no doubt AITA..heck yes! The man picks up his phone, calls his wife and tells her the story, while laughing his a$$ off. But for 5 seconds....wow.

Never heard of the if she's old enough to pee etc. I've heard of she's old enough to bleed etc.

This is why I look at the dealer and ask "is that a call?" before I show...

Guy on my right: “Stop playing so tight!” Guy who’s two to my left: “The dealer can literally shit in his hand and put it in front of me. It would be better than the cards he keeps giving me.”

Aisde from 1 or 2, This was extremely underwhelming.

Guy at the table was bragging about his fentanyl sales

At a table playing 10/20L Mixed Games (7-2, Badugi, Razz, etc). Most of the players 50+ years old. Many of them long-term grinders and WSOP regs getting ready for Dealer+Horse MTT's 33yr old drunk kid at the table: "I don't know why there's always so much ego at the poker table. I've been playing professional poker longer than anyone at this table! I never brag about it!" Every single other player: Eyeroll+smirk+take every penny from this kid.

Heard this once: "I know people, I can have you killed" 💀

I noticed that you failed to name the "racist thing" Trump said, interesting. I'm genuinely curious what that was. Can you name one racist thing Trump has said that is worse than any of these racist things Biden said? 1. "We have this notion that somehow if you’re poor you cannot do it, poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids." 2. "I’ll tell you, if you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or for Trump, then you ain’t black.” 3. “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.” 4. "Unless we do something about this, my children are going to grow up in a jungle, the jungle being a racial jungle with tensions having built so high that it is going to explode at some point."

Hands down you are the funniest poker you tube channel out there!

Guy to my right: Man I guess they just let anyone in here I look around and realize a couple of young black men just walked in (I figure it was just a coincidence sinc it was crowded) Same guy, a few seconds later: I bet they brought guns in too 😳😳😳

"You're the table bully because you raise preflop." "Go learn about poker." Same person. lol

1:02 - is that Helmuth?

This is rated pg compared to the filth I hear but I know exactly what u mean…I just can’t believe the racist things said I hear, the sexist things and the pedophilia

Years ago in a cash game player is hiding big chips behind his stack.Dealer tells him put them in front. He says that's my strategy. Dealer replies being a scumbag is not a strategy.

I love your content 😊

They really do need to crack down on that type of talk

Bro this is accurate as fuck! Always when there are Asian people at my table they get called "China, Chin Chan, Jackie Chan and/or Nihao" by Moroccans and black people The Asian people always laugh, stay quiet and proceed to take all their money 😂

I’m black and got told that since I’m low on chips I can just put myself on the table and become my slave

🤣 dude your videos are great!

These were good lol. But that “coooooocksucker” one. I’m not so sure. It’s clearly an angle to get a read, but it’s not a call and verbal is binding. I wonder what a floor would rule on it, or if there is a clear rule on that.

I know it's lost on the younger generation these days, but terms like "oriental" aren't necessarily said with malice, particularly out of the mouths of older folks. Hell, my wife's 85 year old grandmother called every person with an Asian look as "chinee" including her *Vietnamese* grand daughter in law whom she loved. Nobody was going to get mad at her. It was just the term in her region and time. These days intent no longer seems to be factored in when claiming racism. I don't think it takes the reading skills of an experienced poker player to understand based on body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions the intent behind the words.

great video GregI think i need to keep tabs on the mad shit people say at the table!

This kid is gunna make it in this world! Not by playing poker, but making it is making it, right?