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Ok. Now this is must be a click bait. I haven't watch it but are all the children adopted by White parents? Shouldn't it read Do adoptees think the same?
Can you PLEASE stop using that high pitched tone after the questions? My girlfriend and I love these videos but after 9 minutes of watching, both have a headache. That tone is EXTREMELY unfriendly to autistic individuals and individuals with sensory issues. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU, I AM SICK OF HIGH PITCHED NOISES CAUSING ME SEVERE PAIN BEING PUT INTO EVERY TV SHOW, MOVIE, AND VIDEO!
Why is this the title? Shouldn't it be do all adopted kids think the same or something like that. I think the title is very misleading and not what the video is about overall.
The girl adopted at 17 seems like such a genuinely wonderful person. She’s clearly been through some rough stuff and she’s clearly developed such a healthy self awareness and it’s so wonderful that she’s found a supportive family.
It's sad that she was in the foster system for 4 years, it's really rough, but I'm glad she got adopted by such loving people, she seems like a good person
People need to start learning difference between "real" and "biological" parents. Because everyone has their biological parents, but not all of those are real parents. Real parents should be considered people who take care of the child, give it love and all the nourishment it needs.
I think it’s mostly people who doesnt have english as their mother language (me for example). I would use (and think) ‘real’ as describing the biological parent, and ‘true’ as the parents who raised them. But i respect how you understand and how you think about these 2 words
Clara K like my family always says that it takes a village to raise a kid, as such, I have many secondary parents along with grandparents. My Aunts and Uncles mostly and some of my mums friends are my secondary mothers and fathers. They all gave me love and would do anything for us as family and would watch us if need be even my mum’s BFF would babysit us as one year olds and now her daughter thinks I am her sister as we grew up together. And her grandparents think of me as a granddaughter as well and gets excited, when I come over with them etc. .
I'm adopted as well. I don't find it insulting. They are my adoptive parents. I call them mom and dad. But you can't change the fact that they are your adoptive parents.
@@mariaphares4783 Same here, I also call them mom and dad, but I dont love them as such. Which doesnt mean I dont care about them. I do but in my own way.
Oh I totally agree. I find it insulting too. It's not about my ''adopted parents'' and my ''real parents'', it's about ''mom dad'' and my ''biological parents'' period.
3:55 - the phrase has been warped over time. It's actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", meaning the relationships you choose are stronger than the ones you're sometimes forced into.
I have a much stonger relationship with two friends who took me in when i was 19 and no one else would. I call them my only family now. I have a wonderful older sister and her husband is my only friend. I call them family. But my mother and older brothers, have no meaning to me any more. Because when my mother would tell me "blood is thicker than water" i told her the true saying and had nothing to stand on then.
Yep. It annoys me whenever anyone tried to use the ‘blood is thicker than water’ line with me because like, you’re arguing the complete opposite of what you’re trying to say.
I'm cool with anyone adopting, but if you're adopting a child of a different ethnicity/nationality, you should be very, very open to racial/ethnic/national conversations. The child has already been through so much so the last thing they need is to be shielded from the truth.
Especially with adopting black/black biracial children, since our hair types are extremely variable, it really wouldn’t hurt to learn how to take care of our hair - especially if you’re adopting a girl. Watch videos or ask people. It’s an important part of our identity as well.
As an adopted person, this is awful. My dad adopted me and he’s my superhero to this day. To me even calling him my “adopted dad” is just insulting and feels wrong.
As an adoptee as well.. it is your adoptive dad. There's no changing that. I still call my adoptive parents mom and dad. But I'm also aware that I'm adopted, nothing wrong with that.
Maria Phares Maria Phares I feel you, only in terms of the actual definition itself. However, you have to understand that for others the word “dad” or “adoptive dad” holds different values and weighs differently. When you adopt a dog, you say you adopted the dog. If the dog’s name was Rex you say you adopted Rex. But Rex will hopefully be your family member forever. You don’t want to say this adoptive dog will be in my family. The emphasize is different, and you may only say that if you don’t feel a connection or a strong bond with the adopted.
@@EXOglobe but being adopted is a different connection. I have 2 biological kids and it's completely different. The bond and the connection. When you adopt a child, they have this whole other life before you and you have to work hard for that bond. Adoption is not all cupcakes and butterflies. It's trauma. There's a lot of pain and loss that so many adoptees struggle with. It's really hard to build the connection.
As an adopted Asian in a white family, I’ve never felt like my family has been anything less than just my family. I hate when people use the terms “real parents” or “own child” because blood shouldn’t matter, it’s about who raises and loves you. A family can be made up of so many different types of people stuff like skin color shouldn’t matter as long as there is love.
I disagree on the part where you hate when people say "real parents" or "own child" because thats the technical term. Would you like those words to be burned from the dictionary? Even adoptees say it so why do you hate it?
I would say the "real parents" are the parents that raised you and loved you as one of their own. We have the terms "bio parents" and "birth parents" for the parents you share DNA with.
But hipsters will argue and develop an intellectual complex because they believe the ones adopting them won’t learn about their culture like their woke selves.
But also educate them on the realities of the world and expose them to different cultures includinf the one they belong to because believe me love and money can't shield people from things like racism, xenophobia etc. That blind ignorance though well meaning is misguided and dangerous
Weird enough, the quote is, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," meaning that the bonds you build over time are/can be stronger than familial bonds.
That's not true. That's the version that was invented more recently. Blood is thicker than water can be traced back to 1737, and there are some claims that there;s an old German proverb that means the same from the 1100's, but I can't verify that personally.
@@MyLalala9 Yes, it states that kin-blood is not spoiled by water, by Heinrich Glichezære, from Reinhart Fuchs. The wording has been changed to be easier to be interpreted, but all in all, still the same. The phrase is actually used in that sense to refer to soldiers. Simply put, We bleed together, therefore we are brothers.
@@sweeneyripper7023 I looked that up and found no reliable source for that. Can you give me a reliable source for that? We can say for certain that my 1737 blood is thicker than water was a saying, so even if the original German version was different, those aren't necessarily that same proverb and people are not using it wrong.
@@MyLalala9 It's definitely a google docs online due to public domain by now so you could check for yourself if it's accurate, I'd link one but I'm on my phone
I love what Micheal said about beyond offended by the term “adopted parents” they’re just parents!! If they raised you and care for you and would die for u they’re parents!
M.godden Xx i relate to that on the level of people asking me about my "real" parents as in biological parents. It's something that should not be said. And of course people don't know this which is why they use terms as such but i hope they learn.
Yesss. People are always like so where are your real parents? And I’m like at my house. I had a closed adoption so I don’t even know anything about them.
the petting could be misinterpreted, am from asia, and in some places they have never seen other races, so its curiosity that kids go up to them and touch them....the "N-word" could also be ignorance, maybe they think its acceptable...Its all about intent.
tyrone loki It would be understandable in places like Asia (not tolerable but understandable) but it happened by white people in America who know better. No excuses for that
Lets not assume. She said she grew up with those type of situations happening meaning its been through her whole life(adults who chose to be mean!!). Ignorance or not, America has had alot of racial issues that are even explicitly taught in school people (Adults)are just plain mean and hide behind "i didnt know better"!
I was actually adopted by two white parents while I’m mixed and they also adopted my brother who’s black and my sister that’s Asian. We feel like a normal family💕
Momera Yes of course! We sometimes get a lot of stares when we’re out places together. But we realize that being a family doesn’t mean having the same blood, so no matter what people say we’re a family 💙
Its so weird how, especially in America, people identify "culture" as "race". Like they use it interchangeably. Race is skin pigmentation. Culture is what you are raised with and immersed in.
Native Pride That’s not the only problem, it’s not even race as the color of your skin... there’s only the human race (yes yes what about nascar) so it’s not even your race.
Mmmm I do agree it’s used interchangeably but skin color is NOT race. My sister is super lighter than I am almost olive skin with lighter eyes and lighter hair but she’s still black.
@@Dietwoke Well, skin colour IS race, though. ITs also a social construct that people live and breath by to this day (in America and Canada especially). Its the way people decided to arbitrarily divide the world in the a few hundred years ago, one that didn't exist before then. Ethnicities are a real thing, culture is a real thing. But it has nothing to do with skin colour.
@Mizz Thang she would still be a LEGAL CITIZEN IF SHE WAS LEGALLY ADOPTED. KEY WORD IS LEGALLY. Stop being an ignorant shithead, thank you and goodnight.
Same. Or when they ask if my adoptive siblings are my real siblings. Yes they're my real siblings, I've known them since the day they were born. Just because we dont share any DNA doesnt mean we dont have as strong a relationship as biological siblings do
@Nicolaus Volentius I mean yeah they can say whatever they want but like if someone referred to my birth mom as my REAL mother I would be really upset. Snd If someone referred to my birth dad as my real dad I'd probably be angry, I have nothing to do with that man. My parents, my real parents, are the ones that raised me
I just got in contact with my biological family, and my tata (he's losing his memory) every once in awhile refers to my birth mom as my mom. Which bugs me cause she's not my mom. She's my bio mom. But not my mom mom. You know? My sister-in-law does the same thing. She corrects herself when referring to her, I'm just it's okay you can say Manny's mom. The twins mom. Don't have to correct yourself. To me she is just my biological person. You feel me?
The Asian girl is really unhappy. The fact that her adoptive family laughed at her when she said she wants to be white, shows a lack of sensitivity, kindness & understanding, & this has destroyed their relationship now that she's an adult.
@@beyondviolet she did. Yet i have the feeling that i can’t judge a couple of parents in an entire life of education of a child, caring for her, feeding her clothing her, brought her to be a person that can be funny articulate and willing to do such a social experiment, by a single episode of a misunderstanding. Being an adoptive parent it’s hard as much as being an adopted child. Not because of what each is but because of the pressure from other people around them, of pushing an impression or another. Believe me it’s really harmful. Now i’m not saying i’m demeaning her words. If she felt that way she had every right maybe. But maybe They could have laughed out of nervousness and literally pain and embarrassment. When you adopt you always wish you could be able to translate the love that you give to your child including him in your culture, hoping that the group he we always feel included him is in fact, family. So when you put all your hopes there, in order to make him happy, you’re really convinced you’re doing the best for him, with all your heart. And to hear your child saying he still doesn’t feel that attachment is sometimes hard and unexpected. So your thought as a parent could be ‘That’s ridiculous you’re part of me and your dad, don’t you see that without you we can’t even call ourselves ‘a family’ how can this be?’ I can’t tell you how many times people that hear about an awful new laughs instead of showing sadness. I just say don’t bash a lifetime effort of an adoptive parents being a family just because of one episode. Sorry for the long message but i’ve been on both ends i know how it feels.
@@louvretreekay12_ I feel like you're adopted or have adopted because I've seen you be unreasonably defensive of adoptive parents all over the RU-vid comments across multiple channels.
@@louvretreekay12_ that's not the point. you can be loving all you like, no one's accusing them of otherwise. love doesn't fix problems all by itself. if you're gonna adopt a kid who's a different race to you you need to be prepared. you need to do your research and not be colour blind, because the world is not colour blind. yes love is love but it's not enough
éb sôl sôl Yeah but some people do not see their half brothers regularly so it would make sense for them to call them half brothers. I agree with what u said about the “real parents” thing though.
*Much love* goes out to the black and asian girls who seem like they've struggled a lot after being adopted. Hope they have lots of good times moving forward.
I'm black and was adopted by white parents. I wouldn't have it any other way. And I was talking with my mom the other day about how it makes me so mad when other people call my birth mom my "real" mom. I get super defensive of my mom when people say that.
I think that is the most messed up thing about society. I do think if white people adopt kids of other races they need to be aware that if their child doesn't have the same race as them they will have a different perspective of the world then them no matter how much they love them, but I don't think It's right to disrespect parents for not being the same race as their kid and say "they don't belong to you". Bullying someone that stepped up should be praised.
Same omfg, like have some respect bruh💀 my parents now are my real parents tf, literally it makes me so annoyed when people call my biological parents my ReAl pArEnTs
Not really...this was about transracial and transethnic adoption, i.e. when someone is adopted outside of their own race or culture (people of color being adopted by white parents, the russian girl being adopted by non-russian parents, etc). So it wasn't really far off topic.
My dad found out he's adopted last year, at the age of 45. It's caused him to feel a little lost, because he's not who he's spent his entire life believing he is. On top of that, it's possible that his birth parents have passed away, and him not finding out until recently may have prevented him from having the chance to meet them at all. The worst part is that my grandparents weren't the ones that told him, and they had no intention of ever telling him
I don't know how he's feeling lost at the age of 45 because he's built everything that he is. Him not knowing his "Birth" parents doesn't mean anything at this point and even when he was adopted. His parents flat out didn't want him he isn't missing anything it's quite simple.
@@natha2979 he says he's fine but I can tell it's been getting him down a lot. It doesn't help that he's been trying to find out more about his birth family but he's not really getting anywhere
@@areyouraidy5967 he needed his birth certificate for something at work and when they looked into it they couldn't find my dad's name (the one his adoptive parents gave him) but they did find him on the adoption records. They sent my dad a letter explaining that and then my grandparents confirmed it when we asked them
Real question; are you referring to Illegal immigrants or legal immigrants? I ask because the two are starkly different and you would get different answers.
@@landon3573 agreed. i am a child of legal immigrants and i really dislike illegal immigrants because i feel like it's unfair to those people who do the right thing. i don't care where you come from or your race.. people immigrate because they want a better life. you don't have the right to jump the queue just because your life sucks. my parents life sucks too which is why they immigrated but they managed to do the right thing so for me it's more to do with the issue of illegal immigrants feeling entitled to jump the queue because they think their life sucking is more important than a legal immigrant to who also immigrating cos their situation sucks.
Immigrant children and children of immigrants should be 2 separate categories. I'm a child of immigrants so I only know of the stories my family tells me. Whereas immigrant children went through the process and have a better understanding than I do. Even tho we look the same, I have all the privilege of a U.S citizen and immigrant children have limited rights. Still a great idea for a middle ground tho 💯
Jessica J that's so amazing that you would do that. it's clear especially with the asian girl that she didn't get enough from her parents when it came down to her culture and everything. now she is struggling to be confident in herself and it's amazing that you and your husband are willing to adopt and going to adopt. but also, it's amazing that you want to make sure that if they're a different race that you'll make sure they know everything they can about their culture and history :)
Jessica J oh wow, that is absolutely amazing and i'm so happy for you! i'm sorry about the fertility issues though, that must be hard :/ my boyfriend and i have talked about kids and he usually says no but then he said i'm sure i'll know when we're older(we've been together 3 years, we're 18 and 19 but he struggles with some mental health and wants to make sure he's at a right mind space before we have kids) and now we have good conversations about if we want kids and if we want to adopt. the goal is to have one kid and adopt another one. we really would like to give an adopted child everything and love them :) i'm actually adopted but only by my dad(he adopted me at 13), we met him when i was 11), my mom is my biological mom and i did grow up around her but my biological dad was very abusive so we left him when i was 10. my dad is my real dad and i'm beyond lucky that he's apart of my life!
Jessica J i'm sorry that you've struggled with it, i've seen my mom, grandma, and boyfriend struggle with it and i've seen the toll it takes on the people i love and i wish i could do something to help them :/ and that is so amazing, i'm beyond happy for you! having someone who cares and is there is what matters and some people lose focus on that i think, family is who you choose and who chooses you. family is not just blood. it's amazing because while your biological dad lost you from not putting any effort in, your dad gained another child that he loves and cares so much for. that is what adoption is about. i'm really happy for you girl!💛
@@Kaledrone You're the one who clearly is hurt. People can watch a video and have an opinion... and they are right... it is clickbait. Doesn't make Jubilee any less of an amazing channel.
I don't think it's disgusting or clickbait-y because clearly all of them were adopted by who? White people. The conversation ended by talking about who? White people. They all bonded and connected about being adopted by who? White people.
I'm literally crying because people never do the little group hug thing but the connection people must feel from being able to relate to being adopted...wow. Like there was so much love here. I genuinely feel like people who give the most love have been through the most hardships. And they never want anyone else to feel that. Ugh 🥰 great video guys.
I'm adopted i say my adopted parents are my "real parents" my family, and then there is my biological parents. There is no negative tone to it. It's just the way people feel.
Same. My family on my mother’s side is very close. Cousins raised to think of each other like siblings. Aunties and Uncles are like our parents too. Some of my cousins aren’t blood related but they are every part of our family as anyone else. My bother and I share the same dad even if that’s not his biological father. Family’s are way more complex then DNA alone.
@@isabellanelson197 I thought it was sad. Since ancient times, boys have been raised to be men, and girls to be women. His answer is a product of our PC culture.
Topic ideas: - do all gun owners think the same? - do all substance abuse survivors think the same? - do all lawyers think the same? - do all sexual assault victims think the same? (Not to be insensitive, but it would be interesting to see different perspectives)
When she said that her dad said “sorry I forgot about you” I felt that 😢 Edit: Thank you guys so much for all the likes fell free to subscribe to my channel!!!
Thank you for these. My husband and I are in the middle of the adoption process. Hearing this perspective is incredibly important as we continue on this journey. Thank you to all of the people who participated, and for being so open about it all.
“It’s insulting to call them my adopted parents, they’re just my parents” I feel that my mom was adopted and when I told my one friend she said “Oh so your grandma isn’t your real grandma?” I said: no she’s still my grandma we just aren’t biologically related
I’m adopted and i has heard that many times “oh so you’re parents and brother are not your real family” my answer is almost always the same “they are my real family they raised me and I grow up with them, they have and will always be my true family ”
There’s over 100,000 children in the foster System today. Imagine thinking that you shouldn’t adopt one of those kids just because of their skin color.
You can adopt whatever race you want, but please, if that child is of another race than you, educate that child of how they may face discrimination just because of their skin color.
monmon I disagree with you. If a family is good and is willing to love and care for you take that opportunity. “Let someone who can adopt them” that is if they get adopted at all. There are so many kids in the foster care system and not enough kids getting adopted. The older you are the less chance you have. Then you have to put race in. Let’s be real here a lot of black kids won’t be adopted.
steven talik so you want parents who can’t properly care for a child to adopt them? That’s the main reason these children are taken away or put in the system. Race isn’t a big deal, ethnicity is. It’s an important part of their identity, and an important part of society because people MADE it that way. Its obvious that you don’t understand because you’ve never had to go through this.
No one is fully equipped to be a parent right off the bat. It's a learning curve for everyone and part of that is because every child is different. Every prospective parent needs to prepare themselves and be open minded toward continued learning no matter if they are birthing a child or adopting them. For example, no one knows if their child is going to be transgender, be very religious, or have strongly opposing political/social views. Adopting a child of a different race/culture or birthing a mixed-baby only gives you the benefit of knowing in advance that your child is going to have a different perspective on life. So to a point I agree with your sentiment that the prospective parent should do what they can to educate themselves... but to a point there is no amount of immersion and research that can completely prepare someone for the responsibility associated with a new human being being added to their family.
monmon Have you ever been a foster child in the system? Are you aware that most kids in the system never get adopted at all? And that many long and keep hope up until their 18th birthday? Yet you still say that it’s better than being adopted by parents that don’t understand? Dude. I agree that people that adopt should be more aware and mindful of those things, but I don’t think there’s a single kid in the foster system that wouldn’t rather be adopted by ignorant parents that will love them than to not be adopted at all
I think most parents would prefer taking care of a baby to feel the experience instead of someone who is older which is kinda ironic cause they will eventually grow up
@@robopiper9462 When it comes to foster care too, those kids really can go through a lot in the system, so a lot of times people recommend adopting younger kids. When my family was beginning foster care, we were outright told that it'd be "easier" to adopt a younger child. (Not to mention, older kids who do know their birth family and may want to go back to them, brings other challenges to trying to foster them.) Not always true ofc, but that's the perspective some people have.
I’m a Chinese adoptee and I adore my White parents but I wish we talked more about my background-they had a habit of Whitewashing me as a child and even now-but I don’t think they knew any better. If you’re going to adopt a child of a different race/background, please be prepared to have those conversations.
Honestly, the way I see it is that people need to stop associating culture with ethnicity. For example, a white child adopted by a latin family should just blend with the culture they were born in, since that is how the person was raised to be shaped, meaning that color identify is irrelevant in the end. These things are bound to happen when adopting, and there really isn't a way around it, especially for the parents who don't know much about the other culture, but that's just me.
@@julius1787 I understand what you mean, but I think it’s a tad more in depth and nuanced than we realize. Like yeah obviously you’re going to be blending into the culture you’re taken into, Ive certainly done so, but it’s strange to not know one’s roots and why skin color is such a big part of that. This is why it’s important to educate yourself if you’re adopting from another country-you can’t play ignorant even if it’s not your native culture. I don’t think we can deny though that there are some cultural (and experiences) things that ARE tied to skin though. If a White child was adopted by a Latin family, then the Latin parents need to talk about that child’s skin color, their cultural history of where they come from etc. because culture really does make a big part of who we are. It’s a duality-they can still identify with their Latin self, but without knowing their White self, they may feel displaced/disconnected and lost. Hell, I know I do. I guess you need to be in that situation to understand it? It’s an odd feeling tbh.
@@Elsisalittleconcerned Exactly! I was born latina but my parents who adopted me were filipino. I think I was super lucky because both cultures are somewhat connected and intertwined as well as the language. I love my filipino culture that I adopted and also the language and my parents encourage me to take Spanish cause its beneficial since I have a lot of latino/a friends and the latino population in my state is a lot.
My uncle and aunt adopted a girl from Brazil and I speak Portuguese fluently and have spoken Portuguese with my cousin since she was 6 when she was first adopted. She even is into Brazilian culture and has said next year when she is 18 she'd like to find her birth parents as she will be able to dialogue with them w/o using a translator of some sort.
@@julius1787 Bro I'm so in with you!!! I am so utterly confused when people talk about heritage culture... Like what? I only know my Danish culture because I was raised in Denmark! I have no reason or feeling to learn about Colombian culture, because that isn't a part of me... I'm Danish only, and I don't want to be anything other than that
Absolute click bait cause this channels ratings have gone down and they are paying attention to analytics and racism is always something to talk about..
the Russian girl look so strong , I dont know I just fell in love with her. the black woman is soo smart and intelligent. all of them look like good souls
4:08 "I want a relationship with my birth family" That girl in the pink top who said she was in foster care for 17 years was ready to JUMP to that "Strongly Disagree" line! It broke my heart because she will be branded for life! But I'm so glad she found a loving family and is so honestly happy! ❤️
No. She lived with her birth mom for 13 years. Her mom was very abusive and she had to get extensive therapy for all she went through. Now how will she be branded for life exactly? Riddle me that.
“Do All Adoptees Think the Same?” would be a better title Edit: I just checked this again after seeing more replies and even though I’m super late, I am pleased to see that they changed the title :)
I think they did that for click bait. If they did, well played. It's a great video either way. Controversy gets views. Edit: Actually, no it's not click bait. 11:33 shows why the title is good as it is.
But what if a black child never learns how to cook chicken properly because they were adopted by white people? What if they can't dance? What if they clap after the airplane lands?
It was nice though they included both, cause we saw different views. Even with the 2 foster ones, they had different situations. Shows there are so many different variation. Another POV, is like me, I'm asian and adopted by asian parents. Life seems "normal" for those adopted into same race family
Alphonsus Ho yeah but I think they should do a video that focuses on just foster care since it is different than being adopted. Being adopted is some foster youths dream but it never happens for some.
Christine Tobi I would disagree and say there are a lot of foster youth who aren’t adopted. My mom had six kids and 2 were only adopted. A lot of my foster siblings and the other foster youths never were adopted so there’s a lot of us who were never adopted and some don’t have the deserve to be adopted like myself. I’m just saying I know first hand being adopted and in foster care is different and only the people who experience it truly understand
Also if you weren’t in the foster system you don’t really understand what it’s like when I tell people I grew up in foster care they have so many questions or don’t really know what it is so that tells me our stories need to be heard
Oh I totally relate to the asian guy. I'm Asian but I was adopted by Canadians when I was a baby and I was called Ching Chong in school all the time. And today, just before Corona virus got serious here, people were making racist comments (once again) on me ''go back to your country'' hey the only country I know is here. But it's also none of their business to know I'm adopted and everything.
Same here too. Parents didn’t explain the whole being adopted thing till that started to happen in first grade... got called gook and chink.... it’s crazy to think about now bc I didn’t even consider myself Asian back then. Sometimes still don’t now...
must live in a white area, i grew up in an asian neighborhood in Ontario nobody cared in fact ppl were a little too colorblind sometimes. Ppl just had favoritism based on having the same culture.
As a white person who lives in South Africa, I get that a lot. With the majority black population telling me I'm not welcome in my own country because I'm a colonizer and I don't belong in Africa, even though my family has been South African for many generations and are part of a culture that is uniquely South African. I literally don't know another culture and have never been anywhere other than South Africa. It's my home and I am proudly South African despite the disdain I face for things that I had absolutely no influence or control over.
I can see how race baiting would be assumed here but at the end of the day race came up regardless. Why? Because at the end of the day it still matters because it's part of who they are, adopted or not. Unfortunately these days race is immediately correlated to something negative and it shouldn't be that way.
I hate clickbait titles but I get that they get way more clicks and make way more money. I feel like RU-vid channels feel like they need to have clickbait titles in order to stay profitable, and we're not helping. RU-vid itself needs to do something to make it so that it's not the clickbaity videos that succeed but the videos that people actually end up enjoying (like they should maybe reward based on likes rather than views)
great conversation, but TERRIBLE title. does not relate at all to the content of the video. i was ready to just come and dislike because of it; but the video had great people in it. change the title.
They did the title this way for marketing but also because all of the adoptees were of white parents and it’s a different experience than say a black child adopted by a black family and I think that added the white girl because she poses a different aspect being white and from a white family as she said. I’m sure they will do another video in the future called “do all adoptees think the same”
@@irissimmons8226 Most of his supporters are white, statistically speaking it's not ignorant to make a prediction based on probabilities. Yes he has non-white supporters but the vast majority are white.
why is this even a discussion?? We should be happy that those kids are getting adopted in the first place, no matter if the parents are black, white, etc.
I think the title is a bit misleading. Of course trans-racial adoptions should still happen but if the parents aren't ready to take the social burden of raising another kid of another race then maybe they should re-evaluate what they're doing and why.
Yes but as a POC who is adopted with POC friends who are adopted by white parents they should adopt knowing that their kids will have struggles especially in America and when they are a very young age. So yes it’s okay but help them and train them for the challenges that come with it.
If you're adopting a child of a certain race that may not be common in your community, you should be prepared to handle your child's complaints and internal struggles when they face discrimination. You should be prepared to show your child not only your culture, but theirs as well. If you adopt a child with hair you're not used to styling, prepare yourself to learn how to style it properly and have several reliable sources who can help. We may not be able to understand what other people from different cultures go through right now, but that racial divide will drop when we make a prepared effort to connect.
100% agree!! Its sweet when ppl say "adopt no matter race" but they definitely have to learn about the culture they're adopting as well. Preparation is key 🔑
What do you mean their culture? Their culture is what they're raised in and is so much more complicated than just their race. Why do people have to racialize absolutely everything? The hair thing is valid but the idea that my hypothetical adopted parents would have to celebrate nowruz, dress me up in shalwars, start speaking farsi, cook persian food and do a thousand other things just cuz I happen to trace my ancestry to Iran is ridiculous. Your culture is not inherently tied to your race or your ancestry.
As an adoptee, this video was extremely impacting and necessary to me. Growing up in a place surrounded by people that are related to their blood family is so difficult, having to hide the truth that you're adopted so you won't face people looking at you in a different way is overwhelming, having identity crisis every now and then because you don't know enough about your heritage can be nerve-wrecking. There are so many thoughts and feelings that appear throughout your life due to the fact you're adopted. It's so nice to know that there are people out there that share the same feelings as you do. I hope that all people involved in the video and in the adoption system are happy, living fulfilled lives. Thank you, Jubilee for posting such an educational and beautiful video.
Man I guess I’m lucky. I’ve grown up in a mixed house, and never cared about my race my families race or our culture. We don’t have any general white tradition which I am disappointed about, but we do do only a small dab of Mexican stuff. I guess I’m just lucky to find that base culture connection with eating homemade burritos. I do feel bad that most adopted children suffer from not feeling connected to their culture, for me my true culture always has been and always will be American. I’ve also never been discriminated against just because my mom is white or because I’m adopted. Honestly people from what I’ve experienced become more mindful and respecting when I say I’m adopted. Really I feel so bad that you’ve suffered through all of this tragedy, and you (alongside others) have helped me put my life into perspective. I do hope that someday you’ll overcome all your obstacles, and burn bright until your light is snuffed.
I was a white kid (part Greek, I think) adopted by white parents (a Jew and an Armenian), and my cousin is a Latino adopted by white parents. As far as I know, neither of us have ever felt any kind of disconnect. We see our adoptive family as our real family, and that's it. In my opinion, no one should feel pressured into "reconnecting" with their heritage just because they happened to be born into a certain body. If anything, that perpetuates the idea that people of a certain race "belong to" their community and are obligated to take part in it. If the child eventually makes that choice, that's fine, but I don't think it should be the parents' responsibility. Of course, I've never had to deal with racism, and parents of non-white children should always take it seriously and prepare them for it. I just wouldn't want my parents constantly reminding me that I'm unlike them.
The Storyteller I understand what you mean! I’m an adoptee from the same country as my parents so I had no problems connecting with my country or anything like that whatsoever. But the country I live in we are all mixed, my parents are 100% white though and I do feel like wanting to know more about my ethnicity because I don’t consider myself white. Not doing how to define yourself is a bit confusing, am I white? am I mixed? What am I? I’ve considered taking those ancestry tests to finally understand my background story better and I’ve talked to my parents about it and they are all supportive of the idea. Thank you for reaching out and telling your story, I hope you’re also doing the best 🥺
Agatha z Have you never seen the “you’re adopted” jokes? There’s a whole stigma around adoption in our society, many people assume that the blood family doesn’t want the baby, that you’re unwanted. I don’t take those jokes personally bc many people aren’t educated enough but there might be people out there who are hurt by such words
My brother was adopted before I was born. The fact that he's adopted was always known. Our family even kept in touch with 2 of his brothers that were also adopted. As I kid I used to mention it at times in the same way I'd mention that his birthday is in July; it's a just a small detail in our family history. When people would respond with 'oh so he's not your real brother?' I got super offended. He's my Brother. Full stop. My big brother. My brother who teased me and who protected me and cheered me on and still does to this day. Adopted is just a detail imo. My brother has always been and will always be my brother
@@DiabolicalAngel why can't you just answer it? Google said love was enough. The black chick said she had very poor communication with her parents and they were dismissive of her. Soooo are you saying better communication?
Danial B. It is not enough. I mean this child will face racism and all, they need to learn how to help as parents and you need to make sure the child live in diversity area or school and make sure your child knows her heritage, black history and learn how to do their hair properly, etc. Not pretend like everything is fine, if you just love them because they will feel like they are not fit in and out of place, like for example, the entire white family.
The girl that was adopted at 17 must have such an amazing family! Not enough older children find permanent homes and it’s a sad reality of foster care. I was lucky only being in foster case for a year and a half.
I'm adopted, and I got to about 5:02 and had to share this- I want to know more about my birth family, not because I want a relationship with them specifically, but because I want to feel connected to something. I want to be able to trace my family's history and to know where my genes have been.
Same but I'm afraid of what I could find out, being from Russia. Also didn't want to reach out and find out that my parents are dead, I'm think it would nag at me for the rest of my life knowing I didn't reach out in time.
@Astrophel As an adoptee I feel the same way. It depends on whether you are a domestic or international adoptee. As a domestic adoptee born in California, I reached out to the Child Department Services. Found out my biological parents signed The Adoption Statement Act, which means if I signed the document too, information regarding their past history and their contact information was available to me. For an international adoption, the agency you were adopted from might help. Or there are other websites or resources to help. Ancestry or 23 and me, might also be another helpful tool. I found several cousins related to me on my Birth Mother's side. Unfortunately those cousins were only put up for adoption because the fear of a family scandel or shame.
I met my bio mom last year and it was one of the greatest things I've ever done, very emotional though and I learned a lot. If you're interested I would absolutely encourage you to search but TALK to someone who's gone through it...I'm not kidding when I say it was very emotional. I found out my bio mother had thought about me every day my whole life. She didn't just move on and forget.
Mizz Thang I’m not acting like it’s sheer evil, that was just a very stereotypical and also racially charged thing to say. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.
Ignoring the racism in the other comments you’ve faced (which, side note, YIKES), I am an infertile white person, and if I’m ever able to afford it, I want to adopt one day. And, I do worry if my partner is white and our child is of color that our child will feel isolated. That’s not to say I won’t participate in a transracial adoption, but it’s a fear I have. I’ll do my best to make sure my child feels they can talk to me, and I will talk to them about racism from an early age, and do my best to make sure they have adults of color in their life who they like and feel comfortable around, but I don’t think the title for the video is that goofy. Because at least when I think about adoption, the first thing I think of race. I want to give my child the world, and sometimes I fear that I’ll just make them feel more alone, and that they’ll wish I hadn’t adopted them.
Don’t mind me. I’m just afraid of everything. Yes, I think that they should stop telling people not to adopt colored children because they are white. I mean, can’t we just be thankful that these people want to adopt them?
It's not an issue- until a child of a different race is brought up where her parents make excuses for people being racist. Im not saying white people shouldnt adopt other races, I just believe that they should try to learn more about that child's heritage and how they can make that child feel comfortable in situations that can arise like that one.
I think you should adopt a child and not care for their skin color, but specifically picking an african american or whatever race you want to adopt is just pure weird. For example: Some families travel all the way to Asia from America just to have an asian child, and that’s just so bizarre to me. Before you guys attack me, i was speaking for the ones who want a child specifically for their race, not the families who go to help them from foster homes and bad living conditions. I respect them dearly. Guys, this is my opinion. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my opinion. I’m not putting you all down because your opinion doesn’t collide with mine. Show some respect please.♥️
solanni hart um. when americans do that it’s because they want to bring children out of that country and situation because they feel like they would have a better life in america. it’s not necessarily because they want an asian child.
solanni hart uh that’s because Asia has a population crisis and has more kids in foster systems and up for adoption than any other continent. A lot of the time they go there because they know those kids need it more
"Blood is thicker than water" The actual saying is "Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" Which means the relationships you make on your own hold more worth than the ones you are just given or granted
The transracial adoptee experience is completely different. Everyone automatically knows you are adopted when you’re out with parents or even based on the last name. I’m a Mongolian adoptee with white parents, I love them a lot, but it used to make me self conscious to be out with them since I obviously wasn’t related. It also sort of made me lack asian pride growing up, I was never really given a chance to truly get cultural pride or the experience.
@@diegoaespitia Absolutely agree. Parents are those who raised you . Biological parents are those who conceived you. I know people want to feel proud about their heritage , that’s up to them but sometimes I see adopted children expect too much from their parents without clearly conveying the message
Turbo_Turlet but a human being no matter what skin color is able to do so or not..!? (I mean I’m black too and idk ... if I feel loved and supported for who I am..?)
Turbo_Turlet So you would rather a black person be ignored and never adopted than it be adopted by someone who’s white.. There aren’t even that many cultural things that are different depending on what country you’re in.
3:55 as an adopted child that really hit, when I was little I would always have people ask me who my “real dad” was or my “real mom”, I always felt that was kind of annoying because to me, my real dad and real mother are the people who raised me. The people who never let my stomach go hungry, who forced me to do my homework, who reminded me to take my vitamins every morning. The people who reminded me to love myself and never give up, because there are so many opportunities out there. Those are my real parents.❤️
Yes!! Most annoying questions ever!! As an adoptee I still to this day I get asked, " Do you know your real parents" " how old were you when you found out" followed by some weird adoption fetish like that is so interesting blah blah blah... like hello I don't want to talk about this can we have a normal conversation during dinner.
Yes! My family has always been very open about me being adopted and I very obviously don’t look like them so I got asked about it a lot growing up. I remember a time in kindergarten that someone asked me “oh but do you know your real parents?” And I got mad and told her duh they’re the people raising me.
The title is so gross and misleading. The race of the parents doesn’t matter as long as the kids getting a loving home EDIT: they changed it!! Im happy they listened to the comments EDIT 2: the title was “should white parents adopt poc children” or something similar.
Ad Lockhorst it definitely could be a cultural thing but I think a parent from a different race can still make a kid feel connected to their roots. It’s not exactly the same thing but I’m biracial and my mom did a great job making me feel Korean even though I come from a mostly white area. I think it could make the kid and parents feel even closer if they take the time to learn about their kids culture and engage them in it
I wouldn’t go as far as to say the title is gross definitely misleading. But this question is very real and very talked about. Being Black; in the black community there is a sense of cautiousness and I’m sure disagreement for some when it comes to white people adopting black children.And of course that’s due to the history between black and white people and a lack of education when it comes White people understanding black communities and how raising a black child especially in America is not the same as raising a white child. Now raising a child to know morals and values what’s right what’s wrong; majority understand this. But I think the issue with a white person adopting someone of a different race and not just white people but any race is not educating your self on the cultures history and the current environment that the race lives in. Honestly I think it’s beautiful if a white person would love to adopt a black child because I believe they can do a very good job at raising that child but I believe too that they NEED to do their research and really understand what that black child will eventually have to face despite whatever good teachings that parent has given them. Because I have a black mother and despite what she has taught me and the lesson she has prepared me for still being a black person I have experienced disadvantagess/ nasty behavior because of my skin color. It’s just for anyone who’s going to adopt a child from a race not of their own research and educating yourself is very important so that child can understand who they are (as their race/ethnicity) and how the world is going to see them so they know how to stand strong when they are faced with adversity’s because of their skin color or race. And also just educate yourself on how to take care of another races’ hair because I’ve seen too many black kids with messed up hair because their adopted parents do not know how to take care for the hair properly.
do you know whats actually really odd? the original saying is 'the blood of the convent is thicker than the water of the womb' meaning that those we choose as our family can be more important that those who share our dna. so it means the exact opposite of the way its used today
I was adopted from Beijing when I was a baby by wonderful parents who happen to be white. I hope this Asian girl can find herself and her relationship with her family can be mended as time goes on. Adoption is not easy on parent or kid and both have to learn a staggering amount of knowledge.
My thing is that if a person is adopting , dating, or being friends with someone of another race then they should educate themselves on that race/cultural etc, you gotta understand that others experience different things then you.
@@Miquelalalaa there is no european culture tho. theres german/italian/english/french... etc. cultures. and chances are, in america you will probably adopt and american child, while in germany you will probably adopt german.
GreyFolk and also here in America all we know is the European culture that’s taught to us in schools and we hardly see any person of colors being talked about .
GreyFolk like adopting an Asian black or Hispanic child you should be able to be open to learning about their culture and try make them feel as ethnic as possible if that makes sense, because most people who do adopt outside their race that child tends to loose a sense of identity regarding their race and culture and may struggle due to society not that anyone should even care of what others think
_I feel soooo sad that Alexis didn’t want to be Asian growing up._ like, seriously! If I were there parents and I learned that about my child hating or being ashamed of his/her ethnicity, *I’d encourage them to treasure it and learn about their ethnicity and the culture’s their predecessors grew up in.* I straight up HATE how Alexis’s parents handled it.
Puting Pinoy You know nothing about how her parents handled it?? You don’t know the context, you don’t know if they were even aware. It’s irresponsible to take one statement and make such a harsh judgment.
blinkx1 3 I feel like that is slightly untrue...our environment affects. Yes, we ultimately take responsibility for ourselves. But people of color experience this often. Too often! White people (I am white) need to be more empathetic and interested the ways that people of color feel and experience the world and to empathize instead of just saying, “Oh, just take personal responsibility” or anything else that just reveals someone’s privilege and shows a lack of empathy.
GreyFolk that was her experience, dude. Her parents laughed about it. They didn’t address it. I understand why they may not have known how properly address it. But, dude, look at the effect. And I am speaking specifically about that reaction of theirs. I am not saying they are terrible or ill-intentioned parents. But their reaction definitely shows ignorance and/or a lack of cultural sensitivity to their _own_ daughter’s experience. So, yes. I will say that it was not a good reaction. And I hate it. They are probably good people. I can’t say 100%, but I can say that that was a terrible reaction. And there’ll be a lot of people agreeing on this-specifically those who have experienced racism or cultural insensitivity.
Me too but at the same time i want to birth kids, ik its kinda weird to want to go through Labor but 🤷🏽♀️ I think Adoption is a beautiful thing and I have had extreme parental and family issues so i want to be able to help someone get through that
keri98af exactly. Specially because none of their other videos has click bait incorporated. I, as black person, was already thinking “Who tf would say no?” and didn’t click it as open minded as usual and was honestly a bit pissed!
Yes, but if you adopt a kid of a different race, you better be sure to raise them around people of there ethnicity for the child's mental development. This is from personal experience, and a identity crisis is terrible
It is, IMO, irresponsible to raise a child as if their ethnicity is an option and not a reality. I’m a big fan of adopting a child because you want to give them love. But you also need to either have an understanding or a willingness to learn about their race and culture so that you can expose them to it and help them through any difficulties they may encounter because of it.
@@midnite4ever If you a white person, specifically Russian in context, which adopts an African child that child would be therefore Russian, no? Wouldn't connecting a person who has no connection to Africa rather less beneficial?
deiov Their nationality could be considered Russian, but that is separate from ethnicity. And you can’t ignore a child’s ethnicity just because you adopted them.
I wish I could have been a part of this. Being a Russian Gypsy adopted from Russia and growing up in an orphanage until 7 I had so many things I wanted to say and put input in. So proud of all of you guys, I relate to all of you.
