Do I Have Complex PTSD - 27 Signs/Symptoms 

Hi guys!! Just wanted to share info. about my upcoming life coaching certification course. Some people plan to become life coaches - others 'fall into it'. I think when a person has gone through something so life altering, something that pushed them outside the realms of their authentic self, something that so profoundly changed not only their self perception, but altered their nervous system, dis-regulated their brain and warped their reality..... and yet when they manage to reconnect with self, and heal the deep emotional wounds that are hidden to the naked eye and misunderstood by those that have never been through an experience like that - well, it's only natural to feel a deep desire to want to help others that have been through that. That's how I 'fell into coaching' and it's been an amazing experience to help individuals all over the world to break through the side effects of cptsd and/or side effects of narcissistic abuse. If YOU are interested in becoming a life coach - be sure to check out my website: micheleleenieves.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-coaching-certification/

Great video 👍 *5 OF THE MOST COMMON FEATURES OF COMPLEX PTSD* 2:53 1. Emotional Flash backs 2. Toxic Shame 3. Self-Abandonment 4. A Vicious Inner or Outer Critic 5. Social Anxiety *WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE IF YOU HAD COMPLEX PTSD* 3:27 WHILE IN THE RELATIONSHIP 6. Mental Fog - Very Confused - Hard time holding to your reality. 3:48 7. Feeling Like You're Going Crazy 4:11 8. Feeling Detached From Self - As if watching self 5:10 9. You Justify The Abuser - Minimize Their Abuse 5:32 WHILE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP 7:07 10. Pathological Sense of Lonliness 7:22 11. Attachment Disorder - Anxious or Avoidant Attachment Style 8:13 12. Realizing you have been trained to be 'Stuck' In Negative Emotional States 8:27 13. You are Stuck In Conditioned Responses 9:17 14. Still struggling from Depression & Anxiety & a inability to feel real joy or real happiness 9:46 15. Dissociation - you still feel disconnected or avoid by preoccupying yourself 10:02 16. Suicidal Ideation - Where not being alive would be less painful 10:20 17. Hair-Trigger Fight Or Flight - your reacting with such strong emotional responses that are out of porportions to the current things evoking those responses 10:30 10:54 *DEVELOPMENTAL ARRESTS THAT ARE THE RESULT OF COMPLEX PTSD* ▪︎The capacity for full self-expression 12:15 18. Self Acceptance 13:44 19. You sense of Identity gets arrested and distorted 20. Self-Compassion - you don't treat yourself with compassion 13:53 21. Self Protection 14:07 22. You lose the capacity to draw comfort from relationships or to feel safe 23. You Lose The Ability To Feel Relaxed - living in a constant state of PTSD, fight or flight, survival brain, on guard they never feel they can just be 14:14 24. Their Capacity For Self-Expression is Stunted, your will power, motivation, your peace of mind. 25. The Belief That Life Is A Gift 14:45 26. Your Self Esteem and self confidence are all distorted 27. You've developed Coping Skills That are keeping you from the happiness that you want to experience 14:52 🥵

I had people tell me I didn’t have to put up with abuse. The thing was I knew I didn’t have to put up with abuse but I didn’t know I was being abused

I am sixty years old, have been involved in dis functional relationships all my life. I am trying to learn who I even am, distinguish what my dreams might be, and begin experiencing life as me.

A adult is a product of its childhood. Many survivors of CPTSD sometimes never find the peace fully that they should have had.but some get half way there , SAD ☹️

I love putting your stuff on and doing chores. You’re content is almost audiobook quality. I really think you could sell book/audiobook.

Oh yes any time as a child I was happy or smiling I would be brought down a peg and i couldn't smile without anyone saying "oh look she is smiling" i was mocked and humiliated and then told "don't be so sensitive" today as a nearly 40 year old I am a wreck

I have c-ptsd...thank you..at 70..I still suffer from the effects of a childhood you describe .. I turned away from people and towards animals... At an early age .. and I can hear your bird in the background!! I love it!!

Anything not "perfect" is automatically total shameful failure.

Your videos have helped my psychologist understand that I am not the crazy one. Still learning, still becoming aware, But you have no idea how grateful I am to you.

I'm am so grateful for you!! I've tried to explain to family and friends how I feel because of my past relationship of 20 yrs with my son's father but can't because I don't know how to explain myself. Now I have this video they can watch and maybe see through my eyes. Thank you

I wasn't even allowed to cry when my father passed away. How sick

Hi Michele I get tired of these narcissist projecting all their insecurities on me and bullying me in the comment sections cause I can see through their projecting & gaslighting.

They were trying to tell me I was a borderline personality disorder. I'm an empath I was born into a narcissistic dysfunctional family. And all my relationships have been hell all my life but I finally found validation and thank you. You describe everything very nicely and I wish everybody would understand what an impact that this does to people when they grow up like this.

It takes too long! I’m still working on recovering. I wish I could just snap my fingers. CPTSD definitely does not go away. I have to stay vigilant and avoid toxic people as much as possible.😢 Wow!!! Thanks! Now I understand why I always said that I do not know what happiness, or healthy normal feels or looks like; I would not know if it hit me in the face. Everything described herein, is my entire story...will I ever truly recover? Going on 6 months now; officially of being away from my ex. I was with her for a very long time. I paid dearly; getting better one day at a time. Thanks for providing this video “Michelle”.👍🏾 (How does one re-attach to one’s self? When I was with my ex-wife, I always felt like I was in a dream state all the time; nothing made since. My emotions were all over the place when she was around; just crazy.)

Yes, I am definitely"stuck"

To all watching, I've watched all of Michelle s vidios and I can tell you she saved me from A life that could have been a lifetime of torment of what I was blind to. Just the understanding of what I was going through started my soul on a path of healing. I still have flashbacks. After 15 years and I understand that this may not go away but at least I know how to turn my thoughts to something positive. I will say to myself to the end of my time here " THANK YOU MICHELLE " !!!!!!!!🦋 Sorry Michele with 1 L

I have complex PTSD. It’s reassuring to know that some things that I struggle with is because of this and it’s not my fault.

You are a rare authentic and creative thinker. I apreciate your thoughts and the way you present them. Your work is efficient and will therfore last.

I really appreciate your videos. So many people making videos are providing good information, but their content is riddled with negative emotions and residue of resentment. You have so much empathy for your audience. I’m really grateful for your videos🙏

My parents are Narc. My boss and my friend are also Narc. I go no contact for two years before I learn about Narcissistic abuse. And it took me 4 months after I learn about Narcissistic abuse to heal. I know how suffer it is. I still have the Avoidance Personality that hasn't been cured. Anyway, I hope you all heal and happy soon.

That's me, Michelle! STUCK! 3 Years NC and STUCK ...just like I was with them in my life! There is no further Narc abuse....but it is now me... my mind... abusing me! I am abusing myself! Just what they groomed us to do! I had a lifetime of Narc Abuse from the Narc FOO and added other narc relationships. I cannot find ME! Detached, internalized, going through the motions I have no choice to do. Anhedonia!

For anyone reading this who needs hope, contact your local women’s’ shelter or see if through another local group you can get free school or books for school by receiving a PTSD diagnosis. This is a thing in my area. It gives people hope that they can better their lives.

This is a very reassuring video, reassuring to know the reasons for some of these symptoms I have, and am unable to describe to my family and friends. Luckily, my children, my friends, my church and faith, and my hobbies give me the satisfaction my husband never has and never will give to me.

Please look into EMDR as a treatment for trauma-related disorders to share in your videos. It is truly a powerful recovery treatment that deals with the neurological effects of the traumatization. Thanks.

You are the best source of information on RU-vid for education, healing & moving forward! Thank you for all you do to help.

I was wondering about this the last few days. Perfect timing! Thank you. I checked every box.

Michele lee Nieves coaching, I can see the pain you went tru, in your eyes. You will be alright baby

Pls make more videos on this topic and codependency.

I suffer from PTSD from my ex. narc, but I am in therapy, He shall NOT WIN - over me and my life. Took me 3 years too " move on" but now I am better, but I still suffer from nightmares, no energy, paranoid etc. , it takes time to heal, extremely long time after a narc.

I was a little weary about this video at first but it’s so relatable! I’ve identified with every one of the symptoms!

Hey Michele, can you please make a video on how to overcome social anxiety and open up to healthy people?

She's gives out so much free game! ❤

OMG Michelle. This was such a good video but the ads were hilarious. Just when an ad popped up, as you were in the middle of a sentence it sounded as though they were finishing your sentence. But, in a bizarre and funny way!! Too funny! 😄 As an example, it was as though you were to say something like , "What is the normal way to heal from abuse?" Then the ad would come on saying something like, "If you think it's tomatoes you'd be wrong." Really funny and incongruent like that. 😂😂

My recovery began in 1989 , its been rewarding . You can recover, make progress even while involved with a narcissist.

POV: you just watched 7 stages of trauma bonding and you're here because you have decided to take your first steps into the actual healing of the self. 😏am I the only one?

Thank you for your extremely informative and supportive message Michelle. 😊 God bless you❤

I have only been away from toxic people, as in not living with toxic people, for about six months. I have felt expected to be healed and "over it" as soon as I left one toxic living situation. In fact, I was married into a another toxic family and isolated and then discarded and left to fend for myself in a new state. I was chronically homeless for two years and lived in transitional housing with toxic people. I just started a live in caregiving job where I feel relatively safe but it has only been about six months. I want to heal and move forward with my life without all the people I used to live with.

Grateful for your work healing others. I wish to do the same as a coach. Thank you

I have C-PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and OCD it's not fun. My advice get a counselor and an emotional service dog. It's a daily fight and struggle. Seek medical treatment for it. I find writing in a journal can also help. I also find being in a safe calm environment is very important for individuals struggling with C-Ptsd and trauma. I love nature, wildlife and the ocean and things like this also help me deal with some of the trauma I've been through. The most important is to be open with your counselor about your trauma and flashbacks the best you can. Hugs and prayers to everyone struggling with C-Ptsd etc.

I have tried suicide when I was with the narc, he physically abused, I just thought, not being alive is less painfull than being with someone you love always abusing you, devaluing and even hitting...

Thank you so much for explaining this to us. So many people will blame the victim or not try to understand this situation and wonder why anyone would think the way we do. I’m sorry that it’s frustrating for our loved ones but it’s even more frustrating for us. They thing I hate hearing the most is is that no body can make you feel anything or you had to be a certain way as a child, but you can do whatever you want as an adult. That is certainly not true. I’m so glad that this video explained that we are told to stunt our emotions. I’m so glad that my personality and emotions have overcome the abuse. I couldn’t repress then even though the abusers wanted me to. I wonder if I will ever get through this.

This is such an excellent summary, Thank you

Grateful ❤

I know that something is off in me Michele, I’m unable to identify any emotional flashbacks.. I’ll feel overwhelmed with the feelings sometimes , hope I’ll heal soon with all your helpful videos, thank you ❣️

I was diagnosed in 1998 with borderline personality and then 6 years later ( different doctor ) I was diagnosed with bipolar , I may have both but I do feel I have cptsd because I have empathy and I dont do mean things to people. I have avoidant personality symptoms as well. Thanks for the videos.

I always thought there was something wrong with me that I haven’t recovered in so many years. I had no idea that healing can be a painful process and that Its something I had to work on to get healing.

Very informative video thanks Michele.

Thank you for this video am gratefull.

Thank you !

Thank you. I haven't listened to you in awhile. Very valuable video.

Gorgeous video..thank you very much for it and you work 💗🙏

The Body Keeps the Score is GOLD. Buy it!!!

I had an EEG and and was diagnosed even before then with C-PTSD. I am at my wits end. I cant live like this anymore. I am hurting so badly and dont know where to turn or who to talk to. I have no friends no family and I am just lost. I dont want to live like this anymore

Thank you for all the information ❤🌹

Great video for a person that need this info and stay safe Michele.😊😊😊.

Thank you now I am sure I am a complex Ptsd survivor. Both of my parents were different types of narcissits. In fact I had to watch this five times because you hit an excellent point and I would start to dissoiate when I started to think about it and I immediatly knew you said so profound I needed to restart that part of the video and face that (or those) points thank you for saying in normal cicumstances most people can move on but with us it does not exactly work that way

Thank you for this video ❤️ So after 40 years of this How do I heal my brain from this? I am currently alone and I feel like I can’t think straight...this last one about did me in ..am I ruined for the rest of my life? Please help 😕

I try to put out as much information as possible to help individuals that may be battling Cptsd - if anyone feels they can benefit from more assistance - I have a new 3 Month Breakthrough Cptsd workshop where together with myself and 10 other individuals we work together to overcome the side effects of Cptsd like - fear of conflict, emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, social anxiety, changing subconscious programming, etc. The next workshop begins in August - you can check out my website if you think you'd like to join us =) www.micheleleenieves.com/services.

Thank you....i wondered why i cant feel joy, 13 yrs with narc, 9 month post discard.

This is so fun for me right now. I watched this video when it came out and now am back a year later with progress. Still in it - more miserably than ever - steamrolling to divorce, mercifully. But I figured that since I had lost my sense of self, my confidence, my ability to make simple decisions without anxiety and the rest of the trauma bonded ball of wax - well, I better fix some of these things before I step out with our 3 children or I really won't be able to manage it. While everyone was telling me "just do it! You can make it on your own!", they just did not understand that I really couldn't make it on my own. I was badly broken. Mentally incapable of doing it and it wasn't even at that point about my addiction. I would get a job and it would fall apart - he'd text me all day and suck my time, or I'd ruminate on the crazy du jour and it would suck my time. I have always had high performance jobs and this last December I cried at a hostess desk because I pushed the wrong button. WTF, right??? So here's progress 6. I am NOT confused anymore. I hang onto reality with white knuckled grip. He tells me I'm not "in my right mind" and my immediate response to him is eff you. 7. Not there anymore. I used to feel like I was going crazy but I don't anymore. 8. I am still pretty disconnected from myself. I think I watched the ultimate insight video to narcissists I have ever seen a couple of weeks ago and it took everything I have watched from all of my good youtube coaches (thanks Michele) and put it into such a perfectly analytical way that it almost fell on me like math. And before I was a basket case, math was my jam. It came across to me in a way that got down into my own soul. I had a whole different heartbreak. And I think I disconnected there. I say "it's fine. Everything's fine" quite a lot. I have to be disconnected, I have shit to do. I know... I know.... I'll deal with it later. 9. I no longer give him a pass. Everyone has a bad day. Nobody has a bad decade. 10. This happens when you don't work on yourself BEFORE getting away. This is one of the reasons you go back. It's the perfect moment for them or anyone else to throw you a crumb. I've gotten away several times. And turned myself back in to my captor several times. This isn't going to happen again. 11. No clue. Lol 12. I've already fixed this. Idgaf anymore what he thinks about my emotions. Happy, sad, mad, smad, hangry, don't care. We sometimes do things for the wrong reasons and with this one, I've decided that the wrong reason was okay. If I felt bubbly and happy and that feeling of dread came over me, I held onto the actions of that feeling out of sheer rebellion. I smiled, laughed, played music, danced, did dishes... knowing that he'd get mad and everything inside of me was screaming WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? HE'S GOING TO LOSE HIS SHIT ON YOU! Nope. I fought through it several times and literally faked it til I made it. Now, my body doesn't have that flood of fear or anxiety when I'm feeling AND projecting 49 and mostly sunny. I know it pisses him off but I'm just not having it anymore. ahhh... it's good to be almost free. Lol

Thank you for this video ❤️ sooo much.and I'm a a sewer and your dress just gave me another idea I can try to sew

Incredibly accurate

There are physical manifestations as well. I have been dealing with this abuse since birth and it has carried on in every relationship I've ever had. I will be 67 in October and I was diagnosed with CPTSD at 59. I have seen many psychiatrists over my lifetime but until I saw a neurologist, my physical manifestation of tartive dyskenesia was misdiagnosed over and over. When triggered my head shakes in a "no no no" movement that can be mild to severe. I cannot control it. This presented at the same time as my realization that all was not right in my world, I was about 40 at the time. Even though I have a diagnosis, they continue to this day.

Hi! Geetings here in Israel.. I watched your videos a year ago and now i see you again.. Thank you for sharing all these informations.. Do you have fb link? If you have, kindly share it also. Thank you and GOD Bless is all!

Dissociation can be a good thing, in meditation for example.

Why do I keep going back! It’s abusive in every sense of the word! What’s wrong with me!

I've been "stuck" for four years

CPTSD is commonly experienced by war veterans.

Thanks

Is it common to develop a huge OCD as a result of an emotionally abusive relationship?

I'm only 2 minutes and 40 seconds into this video and I know that this is really speaking to me like I'm breathing really that's just it's I'm so aware right now of how much I relate to every single thing that you're sane and I still want to call that person I still want to contact that person and I hate that I do it honestly brings tears to my eyes right now it just it kills me I hate it I hate loving the person the way that I do I hate the sickness of all of it I have depression obsessive compulsive PTSD from physical trauma and all sorts of other things besides that narcissist that I'm referring to and when I initially started watching your videos and you speak to me on so many levels and I really appreciate your words and you make a big difference I haven't watched all of your videos I probably haven't even washed half of them but I'm so thankful and so grateful for what you do and I appreciate you very much my family everything you know what I'm not going to say anything else cuz this is a public comment thank you Michelle thank you

Some of these I notice the narcissists I've met also have. The one major difference I noticed is the super sensitive fight or flight seems forced in them. It is super dramatic as if something you said or did wrecked their "whole life, before, during and after you". There is no way that is possible, but that is how they act. I only see it as a manipulation they use. I know if I am actually that scared I tend to try to be invisible as to not draw attention to myself so maybe I can get away alive. They go off like fireworks. That is the quickest way for me to not want anything to do with a person.

1. Pathological loneliness (self esteem very fragile due to erosion by ex Narc ) 2. Attachment disorders (anxious or avoidant attachment style) 12. Stuck in 'negative' emotional style (you're a happy person but every time you're happy, something negative happens by Narc....over and over again, daily, for years, your brain associates negative with happiness!) 14. Depression & Anxiety 15. Disassociation (distract yourself by doing doing doing) 16. Suicidal Ideation: not being alive would be less painful 17. Hair trigger fight or flight: out of proportion to what's happening *developmental arrest* As a result of these developmental arrest the persons attempts to compensate for this disability become habitual long-term defensive coping mechanisms. These become personal sticking points in life and are the source of negative personality traits by keeping the individual out of alignment. They literally block him or her from the positive flow of positive emotions such as love & joy. _COPING SKILLS THAT KEEP US STUCK_ *you then turn off your feelings*

I started working on the ptsd , years prior to splitting with my ex confusion questioning , anxiety attacks , triggers where i would just react , times of detachment , yes , she was great, so understanding supportive . It was a really goid freind , that pointed out one day , had me question if i truly believed , my ex was ok with the amount of time i was away from home . That if she was , she had to be the most selfless woman he ever met . He was right , didnt fit didnt it . The threat of being all alone , My brother noticed , i was a happy go lucky guy , what happened to me .

pretty sure its more than four letters should go to z young lady, they sure work hard to keep repeating and connecting following disrupting job home surroundings relationships and all glad you came along. nice dress dont bomber love me , thank you.

Thank you so much Michele❣️

The symptoms vary , but finally they lessen. What we feel goes back n forth but in lesser amounts .

Wow you have spoken very well ...thanks alot i lwish you well ......

Big things a have small beginnings... 1 step at a time.. Just open the door a crack..

I personally get anxiety so bad when I am going to see him that i have to take prescription medication 💊 to stop shaking. I have the mental fog and feel disassociated from my body. I left him but came back to take care of some business. I was at peace and its all back again

I learned abt narc n co dep 1.5 yrs bk. I've worked n become more self loving. But still not got a non narc proposal. I'm feeling stuck & lonely. Narc husband passed away 10yrs bk. Such self work from then, but no progress.

I'm afraid to say that I'm married to a narcissist. what makes it even harder is the fact that I was diagnosed with MS.

After the first eight years in my marriage I had the epiphany that I had no personality. I had given it up in order to be vigilant to her(narc) behavior. I asked for a separation. I slept for three nights with one eye open for Fear of being murdered. Finally Gone, and alone. I lived for the next three weeks as if she were still there. Reactive to the ghost within my head. Another epiphany. So I forced myself to apply myself to activities that caused my attention to focus on the immediate circumstances and be mindful of something else. Another focus on creative and listening with trusted friends only. That long slow process is chugging along as well as can be expected. And after 36 long years, I wonder what I threw away due to that cancerous evil demon.

I had kids involved. My oldest daughter wouldn’t leave. She is still with the abuser, her father. She was to old to make her leave.

How to stop self criticism.

Can you point me out to a free online way of going about this start healing of a CPTSD, I find easy to start hard to finish.

I dread fear happiness

At my worst fight or flight shortly after the physical incidents with my abuser, I had a severe panic attack, frozen but internally freaking out, when a man got close behind me in line at Walmart. Now, I’d be fine if this happened. Virus and all. I would probably actually still be slightly on edge from the experience and knowledge that someone you trust can flip out and scare you. But I wouldn’t be terrified, shake, and all that other stuff.

I was diagnosed with Complex-PTSD...

This is modern society, and this will only get worse, as society spirals downward...

Thank you

Thank you. Couldn't find the link to the article dear, could you post it in the comments?❤️

Omg!! Wish some1 would hav told me way sooner !! I thought only war vets /severe physical trauma victims had this!! No wonder I'm such a mess!! Getting better now 35 days no contact & not going back!!

What is an "outer critic"?

As an analogy, computer software that doesn't work as expected, doesn't self-correct with time or use.

I feel seen ❤️‍🩹

Hmm wat if the therapist is mad??ive been to drs.who gave me wrong medicines over diagnosed me n i literally was suicidal so yea im not gonna see a soc infact pray meditate not let them exploit me to make me crazy later...

Please tell us something about the attachment style in your coming lectures

Wow🤔 I wonder, cuz I noticed when I speak on the phone with regular people I find myself getting real tight n defensive like I use 2 get talking 2 her,,it was so bad that I had 2 go n pray 4 relief,,a friend told me that Jezebel Spirt can jump from her 2 me, I’m a born again Christian n I pray a lot, so I noticed I’m getting better n I no longer talk 2 her, we do send Christian music videos 2 each other once in awhile, so he was correct about it being contagious 😢🙏🏾 thanks 4 the confirmation👼🏽