Do People TRIGGER You? CPTSD and Why We ISOLATE 

You're putting words to everything I've been dealing with my entire life. I've only really been conscious of this for the past couple of years. I cannot begin to thank you for creating these videos for people like me. I think I commented on another video about how I seem really normal on the outside but in actuality I am everything that you were describing in this video particularly.

It’s easier to be alone than to be betrayed by humans over and over again.

I’m 60 years old and I’m done. I’ll take my animals any day over humans.

When we were banished to lockdown because of the horrid Covid, I was ready for the peace and quiet. I felt calm and so relieved I didn't have to deal with people at work. I felt smug about it. Being home alone, away from everyone was a dream come true. I kept my joy to myself because that news would trigger some against me. We'll be back to 'normal' at some point and I'll have to build up resistance again, against the ones who trigger me. Wishing everyone a calm end to 2020.

People with cptsd have a hard time dealing with fake people, gossip and bullies.

I don’t want to isolate myself but it’s my only way to not get hurt

This isolation thing is HUGE for me. I literally feel like I have no one in my corner. I don't really have friends and I literally feel pain from this. If I do start to trust someone they turn out to be narcasists or flakey. Feels like I've been alone all my life and I really don't know how to change this.

I've literally isolated since 2001 No friends nobody. The weird thing is I'm ok with it.

Sartre knew, "Hell is other people"

I’ve isolated myself my entire life. I’m 51. I still can’t do it. I shop rarely, and if I do, it’s in and out!

Isolation feels safe

I've spent my whole life in a cycle of trying to be social, being triggered, and isolating. I repeatedly found myself in abusive relationships with narcissists. I don't trust myself to decide if someone is safe. At 65, I have isolated so much that I do not have any friends, estranged from every relative, have not dated or had any dating/relationships in decades, and feel like I have to protect myself from the judgments of my children. I mentally understand my behavior patterns but that does not change my emotional fears of everyone. Being alone and with no commitments is the only time I feel safe. The program that she talk about is $1600.00! Why is healing and living only for the wealthy?

As a person who is a survivor of bullying people do trigger me

I’ve been isolated since I was a kid. I’m the only kid of a Narc mother. My mother hated being a parent, so she would live her life while I was home alone. When she was home and abusive I naturally avoided her by staying in my room all day sometimes. My room was my solace. I hardly was able to play with other kids, I could never have sleepovers or go on them, play sports, go to camp etc. I always had to be home alone in my room. My mother wanted to pretend like I didn’t exist. Once in high school and forced to be around ppl and socialize. I felt very anxious, self conscious and didn’t know I was an actual person. Every time I would go out, I just wanted to be home. Truth is I never really learned how to just been, to socialize, have my own sense of self, isolation is a way to cope and soothe myself. It’s apart of who I am now. Like I said, been doing it since I was a kid.

I'm sticking with my cats. This does resonate with me. I chose a while ago not to be in a close intimate relationship, because everything made me miserable.

Wow! I'm 58, and for the first time in my life, it all makes sense. You're videos validate; that I am in fact, a square peg, who fits into a square hole. Let the healing begin! One million thank yous.💖

The involuntary self-isolation has made it hard for me to build a career. I get triggered at work and quit without a real backup plan.

I always keep my friends at arms length and have gotten a reputation for being cold and aloof. I don't mean to do it, and sometimes I make friends feel I'm disinterested by accident. I don't really know how to do the "friendship" thing anymore.

Thank God I found it channel Finally! I'm a 72 yrs young lady & what u describes has been me ALL my life. At 15 I would buy a snack, drive to the kinda local park & hide in the bushes, where I always felt safe, & enjoy my food. I always felt shame that I was being beaten. Thought I was the only one. Thanx so much for spreading ur knowledge on this very painful subject Love & Lite to all of us 🙏🐈💗

At 63 I can't take it anymore. Just me my dogs and cats. Years of therapy and not much has changed.

It's not that it's difficult being around people, it's just coming back to my own space sigh of relief can't be matched.

Being an introvert, i really like being alone. A few friends is good. Ive learned that you can't lean on people for anything really important. So those deep connections may exist for some but are very rare. Folks just don't seem to have the time to invest. Our society seems to encourage more superficial attributes on the roads to success. Not my cup of tea. Im quite content with the quiet.

I’m in my third marriage. He’s wonderful. He knows I need a lot of me time, of course I also have Fibromyalgia and even he notices if I’ve had to “man” up for awhile, boom, I’m in a flare. People exhaust me. I rarely enjoy shopping, and I don’t have friends. My last dear friend, who is 20 years older then me has developed dementia and it’s bad. She’s combative, and her family doesn’t want anyone around. So. Here. I. Am. Referring to YT’rs as my friends so my life seems less pathetic.

My husband is socially outgoing, so in order to not look weird, I try to interact with our neighbors here and there. I decided to be kind and share an interest with my neighbor. I love collecting perfume, so I offered to share some samples with her. She handed them back and said she doesn't like those types of scents (sweet scents). In that moment I was totally done with her in my mind. In my mind, you're supposed to take the free gift offered, even if you don't want it. But I decided then and there I never want to talk to her again, and I haven't. When someone shows any type of flaw in their personality or character, i'm done. I have been this way my entire life. There is a big gap between how people really are, and how they are supposed to be in my mind and I can't seem to bridge that, so I walk away from opportunities to develop deep friendships. im just so turned off by people's ways. Yes I was neglected as a child and being left alone I saw many things my young mind could not process (one was an attempted murder, things like that and other violence, raised by single mom who was very busy trying to keep us afloat financially). Thank you for your videos!

I have been in counseling and 12 step programs for 20 years and isolation is the only time I feel ok and feel like my true self. I feel everything around me to the umpth degree. I am reaching a point to where I can hardly stand to be around people other than my kids and certain family members. I feel so much when people are around. I’ve been doing ACA meetings via zoom and I can get triggered there really bad too. I don’t know if it’s my personality or growing up in trauma but I have a really hard time fitting in. I always feel like an outcast. I am never part of the cliques. 57 this month. 🤦🏼‍♀️

It's a curse.. and most people make fun of or have a good time when we get triggered.. 54 years and still.. Total lack of relationships due to serious trust issues..

I just cried watching this video because I have always been told I'm just weird or crazy because I get really awkward in social situations or I just shut down (sometimes I'm okay with "unsafe" people, but usually only when I have alcohol). This video just made me feel so validated! Thank you so much 💜

This video was so needed because I've been thing about it with the whole coronavirus and everyone upset they have to isolate right now. I've been isolating myself for over a year now (after my bad relationship), but realize I've been doing it since I was a kid, mostly because my family always made me feel emotionally unsafe. I always felt so much better being alone.

Im currently thinking through this now! Im totally avoiding calling back some people who want to get together with me. i know its fear...fear of getting triggered...as to why I isolate. The bodily sensations are just so overwhelming when interacting with others (hot, flushed, rashes on my chest and face, Dissociating). It sucks. But it all comes down to (i think): i - don't - trust - people. We who had shitty childhoods couldn't even trust those closest to us, so how on earth would we have learned to trust others. As a kid our friendships are fairly simple, but as we get older things get more complicated. Im beginning to wonder if I have paranoid personality disorder...which probably a lot of us with cptsd would be dealing with on some level. That, and as i mention the crazy physical responses the body has to intimate/close interactions with others, and being triggered by their "red flags".

Yes, I am happier and calmer when alone. I do get lonely.. I do have a boyfriend and I enjoy his visits. I tend to ignore the phone and door.

4:30 no. avoiding people will not make the problem bigger. there are professions that do not require contact with people so you can make money to support yourself and if you spend enough time avoiding people you'll see how the lack of stress and triggers will benefit your brain. after eight years of living isolated and communicating with a chosen few only through internet I feel I can breathe again. the silence is magical. .... and yes, I have two dogs...... 4:42 true friendship and a romance are mythical beasts for some of us. don't hold your breath for those.... 5:05 losing fears will not stop the triggers. even when you rationalize the fears and expose yourself to fearful environments the triggers remain. avoidance is the only cure.

i wasn’t raised by my parents, my grandmother raised me and she passed earlier this year and i’ve been finding people increasingly annoying... everything you said was completely accurate.

Oh my Gosh! You just described me and my life! I live in the country on a dirt road, with my dog. I am 48 years old and learning about healing.

I actually Hate the people that all got into their perfect cliques. They are so unaware. I have been hurt by these types of people ever since I can remember. All the way back to grade school. So painful always on the outside looking in.

My adoptive mother was a sociopath. She gaslighted the social workers into believing that she was this caring person who would raise me with love and attention. From the age of 7 (when I was adopted) to 21 when I finally managed to break free, I was her possession; her chosen victim. She intentionally made my life hard and difficult. She was sadistic. She felt nothing for me and showed no remorse for the hurt she caused. I self isolate to protect myself because there really are people who can pick up on my vulnerability and try to exploit it. It's happened too many times in adulthood for me to discern between people being genuinely nice and people wearing a mask. Hypervigilance is a resource. Keeping everyone at a distance is self-preservation. Am I lonely? No. Wouldn't it be nice to get out and have meaningful relationships? You have got to be kidding.

I suddenly understand myself so much more.

This is exactly what is happening to me. Someone I’m getting to know, has triggered me so terribly that I can’t bring myself to message them. They are innocently (or not) setting off my abandonment fears through pictures, videos and delayed replies, I don’t know them well enough to explain why their behaviour triggered me. Avoiding them is the only way o can keep my mind at peace. It’s more peaceful this way.

Interesting topic. I was born with a condition called Incontinentia Pigmenti. I encourage people to look that up, since there’s not enough space here for a detailed rundown on it. Suffice to say, males born with this are not expected to survive. The facial deformities that came with this caused tremendous amounts of social problems at home, at school, and everywhere else. So, what is talked about here fits me to a T. Needless to say that I see people differently. Being a natural born introvert makes the tendency to isolate even worse.

I’m really only calm & happy out in nature (usually alone) or in my bedroom in my comfy bed on my heating pad (I have severe fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, spinal cord compression, etc.)...Everything exhausts me. I rarely see family anymore. No one seems to understand how much physical pain I’m in. Growing up my parents had no skills to teach me anything, they scapegoated me during their divorce and are both narcissists. I had a nervous breakdown at 16, developed agoraphobia after that. I remember trying to explain that I needed help to my Mom and she said I reminded her of my Dad and threw a brush at my head. I stay in touch mostly via email. My husbands (2) were both abusive narcissists. I’m an INFJ, empath, highly intuitive, highly sensitive and I’m tired. I now have CPTSD. Pretty much all the rest of the family is successful and I’m the loner, black sheep. When all you’ve done is try to be nice and then when you try to defend yourself and that makes it worse you reach a point where you are done. Some people are just toxic. I love my parents and sibling a lot. Unfortunately they are all narcs.

Your video talks to my soul. I remember when I was a child and life in my house was a living hell. My parents fought all the time. My brothers, my sister and I cried in desperation. As they grew up they started to fight each other. It was lonely being a kid with no one to talk to. I have only a few memories of having a good time being a kid and those memories are not the memories I got from living with them. I grew up being bullied for being too sensitive, I liked the girls's company, I felt safe with them. They didn't force me into anything like the boys did, like violent activities as soccer. I always felt vulnerable around other boys, as if I would always get into a fight or as if they would just beat me for no reason. When I was a teenager I was totally inadequate and socially awkward, I was very shy I didn't engage in any social activities. As an adult I had panic attacks, social phobia, bipolar disorder , the doctors never found a diagnosis and each one tried a different medication. Now at the age of 40 I managed to acquire all those abilities no one had taught me. I feel triggered especially around men, when they are too dominant, like the alpha male type, If the man is nice and approachable I will probably feel comfortable. It takes me a while to get used with the presence of people who are, how can I say, up tight, or tense, or too controling...

Anna my room is my cave!!!!! I am so thankful for you sweetheart!!!!! Between you and a few other utube channels I have found the will to exist again!!!! I was scapegoated by my mother .. I have been with a narcissist for 16yrs without knowing this.. He ruined my life to the point where my kids hate me and I cannot work due to an incisional umbilical hernia after having our daughter and getting my tubes tied after 4 childbirths. I've lost my drivers license due to not being able to pay for insurance. He is a mobile RV repairman and knows all sorts of important people here who like his work... He put my children in danger and they lost trust for me.... When he knows I'm at my wits end he will love bomb me until I push him away..and he ghosts us until we ask for his return... Now I'm getting help from a therapist that I could stand firm with my knowledge that I have CPTSD and I am being played by this evil man... Dr Todd Grande, Dr Led Charles, Dr Ramani, Permission to Exist, Richard Grannon, AngelicGuidance333 and of course Sadhguru, for more inner understanding and meditation to keep my outbursts down have helped me thru all of this mess!!!!! I owe all of you my life!!!!!! I am 51 I felt like I had no hope because my advanced age...but I'm working on my relationship with my teenagers and getting lots of professional advice to heal... Thank you from my whole heart beautiful lady!!!!!!!!

Late diagnosed ASD @ 40 with parents abandoning me at 33. One month before my mother died, she told me; "your father and I don't want to see you until you get your life together". Haven't spoken to my father since her funeral, 2012. Absolutely isolated for almost a decade from the hurt, grief and pain. My Asperger's makes me very naïve and pretty open and trusting but it is sooo easy for people to break my heart. And they do. As I get older, the less and less I trust myself and others. It's sad but there it is. FUBAR'd for life.

I saw someone I knew and immediately got triggered simply from seeing him. Sometimes people will say hello and I lose the ability to even talk

I just found your channel a couple days ago & subscribed. I was sitting here thinking "how am I going to stop isolating & find a job?" and saw your video. I also appreciate that you keep your videos short. It helps me a lot. I am trying a new type of therapy and I hope it helps. Luckily my husband is supportive. Yep, pets- four chihuahuas!

And this why I can’t keep a job.... reading comments about the age they are and how long it’s been just makes me feel like I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life...

Good video. I've been living with cptsd. Since kindergarten. When you're being blamed shamed by your attackers, the attackers are called narcissist. When the rest of society blame shame you, you're called mentally ill. Told that you're sick. cause they have a chosen ignore towards what you are enduring. Cause they don't want to be aware. The way people treat you contribute to how you feel and how you respond. I've been speaking out about my mental health since I was 4. I'm now 40. I've been shunned and silenced throughout each year. I've been abused by so many people through out the years cause no one cared enough to pay attention. I'm made fun of and ignored in the work place because I behave differently. No one ever care enough to know anything about me to find understanding in why I behave so differently. They just respond to the fact that I'm too different and they don't like it. I've been stigmatized with mental I'll labels since kindergarten. Watching and listening as the adults respond to the labels as if they truly define me. Grooming me to behave as they assumed a mentally ill person should. Making it where I had no other choice than to hold back. Play whatever characters I'm told to play. That's what made things easier for them. The less I did. The less of a responsibility I appeared to be. That cost me to miss out on a lot of experiences I wanted to be apart of. Missing out on those experiences also means I missed out on the knowledge I would have gained. I was kept dumbed down and insecure. That cycle was repeated through out the years. Most people don't take the things I say serious. Cause they're constantly encouraged to ignore me. I'm ignored till I say things that match what other people want to hear. Told I'm only supposed to share the pleasant parts of my life. I've been abused for over half of my life and more than 80 percent of my life experiences are unpleasant. It leaves me with very little to talk about and very little to draw from to apply to anything. So I'm reserved and quiet. That makes others uncomfortable. When they are continuously uncomfortable when around me. They become angry. That causes me to become more shutdown. Ignoring dose not make things better for me. It makes it harder! Harder to heal, to fit in, to build and sustain confidence and security.

This is so me. I lived for almost 15 years with a horse herd alone in the middle of nowhere. People are bad news. Something always goes wrong.

I’ll tell you this. I’ve had trouble most of my life with rejection. From friends and family. What happened to me in early years and teenage years. Never thought of it as a trigger of people but it’s exactly that. From schools to relationships. I’m not the girl to sit in the front row, I’ll chose the back row where I know I can’t be seen by people at a 360 degree angle. I was more confident in the back of the room. Hated assigned seating in school. Worst. Also, do not like confrontation by a person while in front of others. I freeze up. Now, I’ve been at the same job for 23 years, I’ve seen coworkers come and go. No matter how long I’ve stayed and what I do I feel as though I’m being judged, talked about behind my back. Every morning it’s the same thoughts, millions of things I try to reason with. What I look like, is my hair perfect, can I make a friend there, will I get embarrassed by someone today, will anyone say hello first, will I get a sneer, or a smile, will I be blatantly ignored, and watching the clock, always leave home precisely at 6 am so I won’t be late and always arrive 30 mins early. I call these trigger thoughts, it starts at 5 am and it’s all day. Just the misfit. I would love to just have sometime to be home, not having to work. Since 15 I’ve worked. Now almost divorced from a narcissist who was a lazy bum, didn’t work. I stayed too long. Now, I’m a slave to my own life. Yes I see a psychiatrist and yes I have a therapist too. It’s even when I’m off on weekends I don’t want to even go to the store. I have to talk myself into it. Take a nerve pill and wait. Anyway, this video I relate to because I think it does stem from my childhood. The people pleaser. But never pleased with myself. Thanks for putting this on RU-vid, I am triggered by others behaviors, I sense their discord with me, and if they are the life of the party and up front getting all the attention I avoid them. I am in serious crisis, all the time. FROM MY OWN THOUGHTS

I relate to this, my dog Grubby kept my head above water I felt love for him, comfort from him and lucky for me he lived for 18 years but then he died and suddenly my life has gone down hill and crappy child hood has been catching up. You talk a lot of sense and as much as i love dogs i probably need to connect to humans in a real way. As a natural smiler i am able to hide everything.

Wow thank you so much. I am 51 and you just diagnosed me without ever having met you. You described my experience so well that I cant stop the tears now.

I don't feel fear, not the most, I feel ANGRY the most. And frustrated. Everyone seems to say "not me, that's not my fault" and they don't seem to have nearly enough empathy.

I’m 51, and I started self isolation aged about 13/14. I used to get bullied terribly at school, especially during the lunch break because it was about 80 minutes long! The village that the school was in had a dual carriageway on it’s outskirts and I would go and hide under a bridge which went over the DC. I would also avoid the school bus and take a regular bus, (we had passes back then) as I often got beat up on the school bus. I left school a couple of years after this all started, but I wasn’t aware that had been self isolating and so it continues to this very day. I have had an enormous amount of therapy, counselling and other treatments over the last 25 years or so. I did get married but I didn’t do it for love, I did it because I got a good job and in my mind it was the right thing to do.’ That lasted about 6 years before we separated and divorced, and for about 10 years I was chasing this impossible dream; to remarry, have more kids and live my life in the way that I believed I SHOULD do, as opposed to how I wanted to. As I said I’ve been having treatment on and off for the last 25 years, and when I first started I thought I was going to go and have half a dozen sessions and everything would be tickety boo. How wrong I was! Recovery takes a lifetime, and even then you’re only just scratching the surface, at least in my experience. The best thing I did was to accept that I will never be ‘perfect’ that although it was my mother who did a lot of damage along with the school bullies, that I can’t change the past, I can only influence the future.

I was going to spend Christmas with my relatives but they are so bossy all the time, it is too much. I am going to Time Out and spend Christmas Alone. Avoiding toxic people is better for me, as I am going get angry if I am being put in a toxic situation

When you said be isolated in family gatherings, I do that, I dont feel comfortable , I dont like engaging in adult talks even though I'm a responsible adult with ideas , dreams emotions like them, but I find myself making a way to avoid the mix I dont know if I want to change , but being a better version of yourself requires taking steps. Good video , I like it

I have isolated for 10 years! Constant rejection fed into my abandonment wounds and I basically lost the will to live!

I love the special ones in my life but I love to isolate.... solitude gives me time to reset and recharge 💗

Ahhhhh!!! I'm so happy I found you. Ugh I have CPTSD and I isolate bad.... and I havent had a job in almost 3 years. I'm 26. I barely leave my bedroom... thank God I have my boyfriend for the past 4 years, but it's so hard on both of us. He's such a beautiful soul. And he loves and cares about me so much. But I'm getting tired and I feel like I'm hurting everyone around me, I'm nothing but baggage and useless. I don't know how to be around people at all anymore. My bf is the only person I feel safe around and even with him sometimes I get triggered and it makes me feel terrible. And I'll share everything with him. I could go on and on about all of it, but yeah, I'm glad I found this channel. I feel very alone having CPTSD.

It feels like you wrote this piece for me. This is my life, down to the pet part. I have so much to figure out , but it feels so good to know that there is hope on the horizon .

I would say at this point, that my isolation is (or has reached) a chronic stage. 😢 My home has not been "picked up" since my ex left (Feb 5), self-care has been pretty nonexistent. I know I am also very codependent. And the way codependents are described (from one of your previous segments) I'm finding more reasons not to like myself very much. I am very dysregulated. Back on an antidepressant ( along with a mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety med). I am going to get brave and start your "Daily Practice", Anna. I have been asking what friends (I have left) to "spare" me from being triggered. I thought I was just being Proactive. And you're right. If it weren't for my dog, I don't know what I'd do. Thank you for being such a kind and thoughtful teacher. I am grateful for you.

I find people exhausting. But animals are energising

I was isolated so much as a child that I find that I am fine alone. I have lots of things to do. For me I give up. I never would have thought the one person I care most about used this knowledge against me. As if I don’t have eyes to see or ears to hear or a heart completely broken. Thank God I like me.

I found out just last week that I have been struggling with cptsd for so many years and I'm so glad I found your channel, thank you ❤️.

You know what is sad? I am 77 years old and found your channel.. I have had undiagnosed CPTSD all my life.I have to say I have made a royal mess of my life. Work, family, cutting people off etc. counseling was ridiculous. So for those who are younger listen carefully and with honesty. Don’t end up at the end of your life isolated and lonely.

Most people are annoying..

I am starved for intimacy and closeness. I'm used to being alone. It hurts when people call me a loner. I'm not. I'm just in pain. I'm blunt, I can be cruel, people annoy me. I try to be what people want, never showing my true self except in moments of overstimulation. I wish I could just "relax." Very informative video, you really captured the heart of the issue. I feel you really understand us

Omg.... yet another video that I'm, from the very beginning, nodding, tearing up and nodding some more and it just sounds like my life and my feelings coming out of the mouth of someone I've never met. It's both amazing and a bit terrifying. Thank you for putting into words what I never could and helping me understand what no one else has been able to do for me. I've been isolating for the past 12 years because I just couldn't deal with people in general and this has messed up my life in a big way. The only people in my life are my boyfriend and his Mom.

This is me! Terrible neglect and witness of verbal and physical abuse of my mother by my dad. She in turn became a rageaholic toward all 7 of her children. None of us has children or our own families or good friendships as adult siblings. We all isolate but want to appear normal. I remarried later in life only to find he is a rageaholic AND has high functioning autism. So, I am a tool, worker bee for him to build his empire. We don't have a functioning marriage and never will. I keep repeating these patterns of rejection. I deal with anxiety every day of my life! It won't go away even if I lived on my own planet. The damage is deep and lasting. I was robbed at a young age and now husband robbed me all over again.

I think I tend to be an introvert anyway. I actually get worn out when I'm in social situations. Alone time is recharge time. That said, I grew up with a dad who had a serious drinking problem, was a very physically imposing person and never really seemed to like my brother, sister and me. I was also mercilessly bullied at school. I had no safe place. I ended up going to a different high school and I did blossom a bit from there. I had an excellent social life in high school and I think that was my saving grace. I recently went to a class reunion and was so happy to be around those people again. I did have a nervous breakdown in college at the age of 19, but I journaled and I read and I thought all was well. I married a wonderful man, been happily married for 21 years, and we have 3 children. Then, my oldest began having behavioral problems around age 9. By 14, he was diagnosed with NPD/sociopathic tendencies. All of the nightmare of my childhood came back, except instead of the pain and turmoil coming from my father, it was coming from my son. My oldest is 19 and hasn't lived with us for almost a year. I held it together to get him through high school, but I eventually had to kick him out. He spent 8 months in a mental hospital and now lives with a caregiver and has a non-family guardian, as he is also a high-functioning autistic. My middle son and I had to bear the brunt of his rages, with me doing my best to protect my other son. My oldest never bothered my youngest, who is also autistic, but the tension in the home did cause him some mild anxiety. My middle son and I have 9 years worth of CPTSD to work through. Trauma from bullies and a crappy dad to trauma from a mentally ill son. I never asked for any of this.

I isolate myself.I love people from a distance.I don’t want them close but a mile mile away . I don’t talk to my family for months.I love my pets more than interacting with humans.

The neighbor's cat is sleeping on my couch as I am watching this. Working on it :)

I’m happy in isolation. People suck. “The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.” I’m successful in my career, occasionally walk with a friend but for the most part, I am happiest alone.

I seem to re-live my childhood by having younger victims brought into my life. I volunteer at the local food bank and the manager manhandled the grandson of another volunteer and scared the daylights out of the boy. She unsuspectingly grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt, swung him around, and pulled him up in her face and said, "come here boy". When he tugged, pulled and ran away scared she made fun of him for being scared and said she "was just playing around". he yelled at her from behind me telling her she was scary and he didn't want to be near her. That is no way to "play" with a child! all I saw was intimidation and domination. I talked with the grandfather, he was there, involved in a conversation about 8ft away. he said the same thing, "she was just kidding around" but he would talk to the boy. I said "Sam, what is he going to say to you? to him this is your job, and he knows you like it here. He doesn't want to cause a problem for you. She said she was playing, you said she was playing, so he must be wrong for being terrified. I told him she terrified the boy, he pulled away and came over and hid behind me! and that is not "playing". And a child should not have to defend himself in a room full of adults!! So I'm reliving my childhood because I know what I saw, and it is being covered up the same old way.. Talk about flashbacks. This just happened this week. Even though I know what she did is wrong and a big red flag, thoughts like, "I don't want her to lose her job... because of me", I don't want to cause a problem", "no one else is bothered by it maybe I'm over-reacting". I hope the grandfather won't bring the boy up there anymore. You might be asking yourself right about now how this relates to the subject... I'm triggered and hiding out in my apartment dreading Monday and contemplating who I am. "And the people all said sit down, sit down you're rocking the boat..." Song from the musical Guys and Dolls. It says it well, I know in my soul this boy, every child, needs to know they don't have to accept abuse for anyone, and there really are people out there who will protect them. But a lot of people are going to be very angry and tell me I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. So yeah, I'm triggered, I'm reliving my very childhood, and I'm isolating in self-defense. Praying for the strength to be the person who doesn't turn away...

This is why I work at home. I have been a remote worker for 5 years and it's helped my anxiety tremendously.

I’m actually enjoying the fact that by wearing masks no one can see the faces I make when I get tired of people. I can scowl unpunished. I find nowadays I’m very intolerant of any signs of perceived abuse. I admit I over-react, but I can’t really help it. I refuse to humiliate myself to have people call me, I talk back when something bothers me, instead of bottling it up, I simply am fed up with trying to be pleasant. I no longer have patience for human interaction that will not benefit me in any way. I thank my ex-narc for this. I absolutely love animals and one day I will retire and live surrounded by my cattle, by sheep, chickens, in the farm...

I’ve found that a lot of ppl that isolate, love it. It feels comfortable. Safe. Calm. The way ur talking doesn’t seem relatable. Acting like isolating feels bad, and lonely.

I can relate to child ptsd. I actually have been someone that kept quiet and isolated myself my whole entire life. But even though I have childhood ptsd and like to keep quiet I can no longer protect my own self keeping quiet when crazy people go up to me and use small talk as a consent form of being friends. I stand up for myself. And I won’t let any random stranger try to harass me or violate my own peace of mind.

Fear is not a part of my life at all, I don't fear anything to the point that I can be dangerous to myself because I'm also very impulsive. What you say about letting people come into your life is a good thing I strongly disagree with that because it's people who get you in trouble, it's people that use and abuse you, it's people bringing all their negative energy into your life, personally I love isolation more than anything else and I don't suffer being alone and I'm not lonely I have a dog. She's such a sweetheart and so much better than any human, dogs don't betray you, they are always happy to be with you and happy when you get back home there's always a friendly loving dog around. No human is capable to love another human unconditionally, not even your own child or father, mother can do that believe me I know all about it. Life has hardened me so bad that I wasn't even sure that I was capable of having a dog in my life, I thought I was not capable to give her the love she needs but even though everyone didn't believe me that I could do it and were against it I'm happy to say that I'm better than my own parents or anyone I know taking care of a dog and my dog listens so good I don't even have to say anything most of the time she's so well behaved... I'm lucky to have her in my life because she enriches my life very much. My dog is my best friend.

Where are all of you people that feel like I do and don't like fake people? Are we passing each other in life? It would be nice to know someone else that wants to be honest, open and kind.

Thank you for making these videos. They are really helping me understand someone important in my life.

I am 51 years old , ... And I have a phone phobia, I am not kidding !!! I love people and enjoy company from time to time, but mostly I need a lot of "down-time". I also say , "if you don't call first, don't bother to come". I have severe trust issues with people. I own two dogs, ... They are my "Happy Place" !!!!!

I feel called out finding this video haha. I've completely isolated myself and I can feel the strain from the people I share a house with but I've had months of anxiety then feeling okay then anxiety then feeling okay where now i've come to the point of leave me alone don't look at me; don't be in the same room as me. I'm waiting for therapy and treatment and I know i'm probably not helping myself but it's just what I have to do to feel safe. I'm tired of feeling unsafe. I wish I didn't have to live here but I do. I'm greatful for the people who are allowing me to live here but I cannot deal with their pushiness to conform to we have to spend time together or I should watch soaps with them and I just can't. They trigger me, they do. What they say isn't helpful. They can try but their threshold for 'dealing' with someone like me runs out easy and instead of just listening and accepting that i would prefer to just quietly live my life and taking my situation and feelings into account but if they didnt push so much there wouldnt be push back from me. Why won't people just accept wanting some peace and taking complete offence to it

People have seldom met my expectations. When they have, I've done everything within my power, to ensure I cannot meet theirs.

God, you speak to me. Very violent past. I finally got into a truly dreamy apartment but Too good to be true. Found out why no one wanted to live in it long. Three, THREE very harassing neighbors constantly at me , listening for me or my guests. It's just put me in the hospitol again and again. Now I just gave up I stay in my place and watch happy movies. I get food boxes, eat super lite, keep all organized. But I am so damned depressed any how.

So perfectly described Anna🙏. Especially always on the periphery of groups.. and I put myself there! Most ppl like me I had to create a “good” personality to survive. Being an extravert makes this sentence particularly uncomfortable. I can’t control the self-sabotage even at 60 however at least I’m fully aware of it and not giving up. Thank you enjoying your classses and can’t wait to connect with you by phone when time is right. Xox

After 3 failed marriages, the last one over 5 years divorced now, but I feel I am way too damaged to ever have a healthy relationship and I never want to put anyone else through dealing with me. I used to have a hole in my heart from always being alone as a child, but have now embraced it, and I cut everyone off. I had major dark triad family members, and I am better off alone. I start to dream and get creative when I am not around a bunch of people..I prefer alone activities which I have now embraced. I have no hole in my heart, and am at peace with my boundaries and decisions.

My wife and I struggle with this, we are both CEN and HSP, I tend to isolate when triggered to calm down which is a trigger for my wife who interprets my behaviour as abandonment. Please, can you help us with this destructive, never ending cycle of what I call cross-triggering? Thank you for all that you do, you are highly valued!

I live alone and have been self isolating since covid I was already pulling away from others the past few years but now it’s reached very concerning level. I don’t have any human interaction besides talking to mom once a week on the phone. I ignore any and all messages from everyone I’ve pushed any friends I once had so far away I doubt they will ever come back. I know it’s unhealthy but whenever I try to answer anyone it’s just exhausting to have to think about having a conversation and maintaining any sort of communication and relationship it’s so much easier to talk to no one and just be alone. I know this isn’t healthy especially long term but its so much less painful emotionally to just shut out the world and talk to me. I can’t get hurt by anyone or hurt anyone if I don’t have anyone.

I’m very detached.I love to isolate myself.I love being alone.Most Humans are evil anyway.

WOW I just discovered my tribe! That was so on point I am speechless! I’m so damn sick and tired of trying to explain myself to others, frustration turns into rage and tears. I’m just going to share the heck out of this video cause I have given up on communication with humans.😶

I find that if people come across as threatening, cross, or angry.....i just flee. I'm done, I was hit too many times and am attuned to a raised voice!

To say people trigger me is an understatement. I struggle with being back in civilian life because I used to be in combat situations and I really despise civilians. I resent the hollow thank you for your service comments. I wear my vet hats and garb for my fellow vets not for folks who lacked the intestinal fortitude to serve. I isolate myself and only surround myself with my wife and dogs.

So dead on. This is me exactly. I wish I could change 😕

I do have CPTSD this is so true.

I love my animals too. But I need to learn how to live with people as well. I don’t want to live in isolation. My cats don’t want a miserable mom

Thank you...after walking away from a very dysfunctional family over 2 years ago I have isolated myself as when covid arrived it did not effect me..I now enjoy my solitude and healing and I know know my peace is the most valuable gift...I now no longer will allow myself to be around and tolerate abusive people who trigger me...and how sweet it is to gain back my personal power as I was open season for preditors my whole life. ..I know deliberate isolation as protection and I know what solitude and peace are..I now am very happy with the latter...much love. .💜

Another really helpful video. I am focusing on holding on to friends, as I approach 40 it seems harder to make them... thank you for this channel.

I have a person in my life that triggers me. I spin out of control and start acting like a five-year-old when they set me off. Which is not me at all. I don’t behave like this around anybody else. It’s quite embarrassing. What I’ve realized is the only way to continue from being hurt by. This person is to completely avoid them. Unfortunately other people in my life don’t understand or agree with what I’m doing. But it’s the only way I can see moving forward without continuing to have situations where I am emotionally out of control. With this person it’s almost like they are doing it intentionally kind of like they’re taunting me. I don’t know if they realize they’re doing it but it’s happening. My spouse 100% understands where I’m coming from and supports me. However, the other people that are involved in the situation do not understand and don’t support my decision. Maybe some of them do support it but it’s hard for them to deal with the new normal that I am establishing.

Yes I have cptsd I like being alone better than being with people . I dont feel safe around anyone but me

I've started my own set of your directions. Thank you for your free guidance.

I had an awful upbringing, my dad still a selfish git. My mum still an absolute selfish nightmare. I'm so glad I'm away from them. Happiness is contentment, and being happy with your own company. Also, seeing as I believe in God, I never feel totally alone.