Do Self-harm urges go away? [2023] 

In my experience, I feel like self harm urges do not go away. They definitely have lessened during better periods of my life. I have gone several years with only a few urges that were not acted on. The past two years I have been struggling, and self harm urges are more frequent. I haven’t self harmed in a year, but just last week I was fighting very strong urges because I was triggered and very emotional. I DO think that even when urges are present or even frequent, we can learn the right coping skills for us to make battling those urges and not acting on them easier. I’ve used a lot of CBT type skills which help me a lot.

Thank you for this safe space this helpped a bit. Its not great rn.

Thank you for this video!

I love your approach of not thinking about recovery too much. I used to get really frustrated when I relapsed cause I had all these timers going and it felt embarassing seeing it be resetted after weeks, if not months and having to start all over. Instead of thinking about the last time I self harmed, it's better to think about how often I have self harmed lately. I am 18 and have been self harming since I was 13. I don't have as much experience as you, but for me I would say that the urges don't really go away, I am just learning to deal with them in a better way by, like you said, keeping myself busy. Watching a show or a movie can do wonders and make me forget about it completely

i think the “not dwelling on a time period” approach to recovery makes a lot of sense. I went a year and two months (may 2022- july 2023) sort of forcing myself to never do it again, which actually just ended up making me think about it constantly. since july i’ve only cut 3 times, where it used to be much more frequent. Some of the things that help me a lot are skateboarding, going out on a drive at night, and listening to metalcore. It’s a lot easier when you’re focused on living life instead of some time frame that really doesn’t matter all too much.

I’m so glad someone is talking about this!!! I’ve been clean for little over a year, but self harmed for around 10 years so it’s always been a fear that the urges never go away. I always feel like I’m one bad day away from relapse. I’m glad you talk about this candidly and aren’t trying to sugarcoat it❤

Relapsed tonight your the only one keeping me sane

Even though I haven't self harm these past few years I still at times get an urge to do it at times but I channel that feeling by writing or reading books

I'm glad to hear things are looking up and going better for you! I've been SH free for a year and almost 2 months now, which felt pretty impossible at the time of your other video on the topic. My depression and SH was severely impacted by my undiagnosed/untreated OCD, and I realized I needed to get actual professional help before things got Bad Again. I'm still waiting to start ERP for OCD but I'm also starting to feel like I'm maybe moving forward in my life instead of just staying stuck. And I'm surprised by the decrease in urges I've had. I've still been nervous to discuss this with my friends/family, so I appreciate whoever takes the time to read this.

I went without self harm for 12 years, the urges were simply gone. Last year they came back with a vengeance and its only the last few months that they've died down. Do they ever go is an impossible question to answer without being able to predict the future.

I’m sending you love and healing Scott ❤

Don't know how your videos always find me at the right time, having a really rough week and hearing you talk so normally about SH is really helpful. Read a book a month or so ago called Bloodletting, great book, could be very triggering so read with caution to anyone that sees this, but in it she mentions a boss she had who was significantly older than her who relapsed when faced with some unexpected life traumas and challenges. I think it's something that I will always have, sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker, but I don't mind it. In the same way the trauma I have experienced will always be with me, life is always a process and we all have different struggles, in a sense we are "in recovery" from the time we are born, trying to just make sense of the crazy stupid effed up world we live in. Anyway, look forward to your future content, audio and video were great!

I tend to relapse every summer because the hot weather triggers bad memories. Other than that, I can typically manage my urges.

So, they don't go away fully but you learn how to handle/deal with them with time?

Am so glad Ur doing well

I’ve been feeling better during the last days but still SH today. Now I feel like sh“t. So even if I feel better the urges are still there. This sucks. Big time. I really want this to stop. And not feel like sh“t afterwards. Any advice is appreciated.

i stopped having urges completely around 5 months ago and they're coming back, your videos are really helpful!