There is NO WAY we can need a narcissist because they teach us NOT to count on them...ever. They train you to learn how to be without them, before they discard you. So your only hope is to actually LEARN this lesson and get stronger, and be very successful and happy once you separate from them. Not easy, but it can be done.
Indeed! He forgot I am a loving person and have a good job and friends. In one weekend I moved out all my things and as a strong person I make money and I am very happy on my own. I sleep in the middle of a big bed.
Remember that they are pathological envious, and they hate what you have, in this case empathy, a smile, happiness. Those are feelings they don't have. They are kids in adult's body and what you have they want it. And because they cannot have it, what they do when they see you happy is to say something nasty and out of context for you to feel bad and sad. There is when you don't have to react and just smile. Don't take it personal, Remember that you are not the problem
Yup. As shallow as watching really funny videos on RU-vid because that's when I'm happy now, once I share it with him, no reaction, nothing & that just really killing my moment of happiness. Waste of my precious time 🥴
@@freshmanjeansI talk back and talk shit. I really try to give him a taste of his own medicine. In doing this I wondered if I’m a narcissist by giving it back.
8 months where the bliss increases daily in miniscule increments. Total no contact. Don't want to hear about him,see him or be contacted by him ever again.
@@subhamjha6562--Yes. Nor will they ever recognise this dysfunction, so it's also stressful to spend energy accusing them. Awareness is the first step, so not to believe or 'buy into' the 'gaslighting'.
I thank you for the work you've done in healing yourself. It's hard to find the words to thank you for the invaluable teachings you provide daily. My situation has made me take a hard look at myself. As a result of going through this & with God guiding me, I will be the best version of myself. It's hard work, but it's worth the work. Bless you for helping so many.
My ex actually told me this. He said “I need you to need me.” But I was so naïve in the machinations of a narcissist person, I completely missed this red flag. But now that I’m educated, I will never let this happen to me ever again.
@@DrummerJay74 to hell with relationships. He's talking about ANY narcist. And really? You want to be needed by other people? U might be narc too. 75% people are
General rule of living/dealing with Narcissist or Selfish people. 1. Don't take any criticism from them personally; remember, it's their problem, not yours. Nothing you do will ever make them happy. 2. Don't give them a reaction when they are trying to hurt you, this is what they want. 3. As this man said..just live your life and do things that make you happy, this crushes them and weakens their ego. 4. Give them love, because they do need it... But give and take it when you want. Everything in moderation. 5. Never, ever show them you need them. 6. (which should have been the 1st) remember to love yourself, be content with yourself and avoid the negativity from them as much as you can.
My life destroyed. Broke and homeless. No way to get back up and too old at 62 to care anymore. I had a few minutes of better life. That's over now. Just waiting around to die out here on the streets
@@nancyperkins2277 ok, 62 is half your life. Please don't let them win. You are out of their life now. Go somewhere and start over. No contact. You matter!! Start living. You can do it!!!
Problem is….once they lose their mind, look out…their wrath knows no bounds. They will use any tactics to teach you a lesson for daring to undermine their control.
We definitely want to do ALL we can to keep ourselves safe emotionally, mentally, physically AND spiritually. But we can NEVER fear man more than the Most High, Jehovah (Psalm 83:18) God's Word describes man as being mere dust (Ecclesiastes 3:19,20).
Ya mine took the big screen tv down and put it away whenvt turned it down.. tskes doors off if i slam them hes an absolute greak of nature! But then when HE wants... he has to put them back OR NO!! LOL
Got a half-sister that's a narcissist and she cannot stand it that my life is great and I'm happy! It's literally killing her inside that she can't abuse me anymore. I moved away, made a life for myself and got married. I cut her out of my life a year ago. She focuses on what I don't have and tells our mother about it and our mother comes to me and parrot back what the narcissist says like it was her own idea to say it. I stopped talking to her too. Stay away from abusers folks.
It seems like your mom is also a narcissistic Caz no one is born evil or bad Supporting her for this, means shes also a naracisisst Probably she is the golden child and you are the scarpe goat Maybe she obeyed your mother a lot thats why your mom believes her?
Might be time to back away from your Mother.”Mom, I’m really busy and don’t have time to talk right now.” Stop calling or reaching out and make yourself too busy for her. Mother is poking and stoking the fire.
I had a similar experience with my half-sister and father. It's a relief to be free from their chaos. I wish you well! Cutting off family ties is always a difficult decision and sometimes needs to be done for our own mental wellness.
This reminds me when you getting ready to charge on the demons out of your house. You take a stand by being happy, take control, and cast them out! Narcissist are evil being.
Wow I was thinking the exact same thing. This applies to gang stalking for sure. It really hit me hard a while ago that Christ's ministry had everything to do with this. Yet this goes so much deeper than just people with out of control egos. This applies to the powers in high places.
@@michaelthompson5252 That's right Michael Thomas. They act like the advocate the devil. You wanna cast the devil out you, stay prayed up, be happy and praise the most high and thank him for all he has done. Stay on the promises of yes and amen. These narcissists have a lot of characteristics of the devil. I left mine 6 months ago. He terrorized all of us. Everything that he has done to us was destructions. The most high deliver me from him. He can't harass me anymore because every day I pray no weapon form against me shall prosper. It's very sad but the truth is there's no hope for them because it's in their DNA to be this way and only a few comes out and tell us about the narcissists. Stay safe and take care.
Yes! You deal with narcissist like dealing with demons 😈, yours show no feelings, have no fear, and always control the narrative 100 percent of the time
It's dangerous to confront a narcissist. The best thing that anyone can do is don't say anything, turn, and run. Run for your life. And don't ever go back.
*sighs* 🥀 They're not going to stop until they can get whatever they want. Yep, confronting them is pointless. Just nod and be quiet. Otherwise, it can go on forever with torture. And continue to torture after that. Just forget about confronting them and stay quiet. It's not gonna settle until they gain control with their manipulative tactics...so run
It depends on whose turf you are on when one does the confronting. That's what I think a lot of the "you must confront them" crowd fail to explain. You have to be careful with whom and where you pick certain battles and how.
No chance of running. I'm living by their side. But that's not close relationships, none of those "relations" is close one, luckily And I'm standing my ground. They need to know the borders.
People who have not experienced narcissm just can’t figure it out 😢 you can’t explain this monster experience to someone and they understand it’s brain draining
@@StarCodedYes it's called projection. If they call you a waste of space it's because they feel they are a waste of space even though they want people to bow down to them.
@@user-jr3rk8mn4k right! It still hurts to know how many lies he told and I actually believed many of them because I trusted him in the beginning. Lots of cheating
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her
Why is she your ex?it takes two to tango,why are you not facing reality,was it her? Was it you? Get therapy,if you were in the wrong,admit it,first dose of reality,then ask for forgiveness if you can,forgive yourself and your actions .Get therapy so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
It is still better to build real self confidence. Pretense is fragile and can only endanger you more. But you may also find out, how much of a cowards they are and no longer be afraid of them.
They'll flip the 3 if they can ... 1. If you're happy living your own life they'll say you're an entitled, arrogant, attention seeking, materialistic hystrionic, narcissist and/or psychopath. 2. If you don't take what they say personally they'll say you lack empathy, are cold-hearted and a psychopath lacking in a conscience. 3. If they can't control you anymore they'll say you're a control freak then gossip negatively and project all their own flaws into conversations about you to control how others see you in a never ending smear campaign to silence you, isolate you and destroy your relationships and reputation. 🙃🤷♀️ Get out, stay out, close all gaps, cut your losses, cut their fuel supply by ignoring them 💯 and never look back. 😈⛽🙅♀️
Here's where it gets them. Again. Let them think what they want. Tell them they can say whatever they want it doesn't change who you are. It's their kryptonite.
I like isolation. My friends don't live nearby and I DGAF about my neighbors. I live in the country and we're all spaced out miles from each other!!. So he can smear all he wants to. LOL 😂🕺
@@brianadams6628 Have the police on speed dial and as soon as they're in an uncontrollable rage (record that part) and you hear police pull up, act cool, calm and collected when they knock and say "See what I have to put up with?"and get an event number ... that's what narcs do to us though when we eventually react to their abuse. 🤦♀️
I'm a huge victim of smear campaigning! From amongst everything they've done,this has hit me the hardest! The isolation is extremely difficult to deal with.
When I stopped letting my Narcissistic sister bother me with her words, it drove her soooo crazy that she couldn’t piss me off anymore. She would do things to purposefully try to get a reaction from me and when I didn’t react she would try to get on my good side by offering to do things for me. Our sibling relationship will never be the same, no matter how much she wants the closeness it will never happen again
Same here. I went no contact for 8 months and now only occasionally converse via text. She always got her way via expert manipulation. I was tired of the devaluation and scape-goating.
In my family narcissist is the most spiritual or should I say religious person constantly praying and attending all religious events claims to b dear to god always quoting scriptures to everyone.. i became so godless.. if they can abuse u so much and call themselves godly I don't want to b one... I trust in God inside me but not in a fanatic way.. and I don't show off my spirituality to control anyone nor to say am holier than thou.
Agreed if a person won't change you unfortunately have to leave them and that demon alone. Which is sad if you been in a relationship for years. But you can't let anyone destroy your happiness and go to the most high in Jesus name on it and they will guide you on how to exit the situation if the demon can't be cast out
Telling my mom no or any word or phrase that seems to imply that I am not agreeing to go along with the wicked and nonsensical thing she is suggesting unleashes wrath like you cannot believe. It's literally a volcanic eruption. Not because I did anything wrong, I just failed to go along with something ridiculous.
I'm neighbors with my ex narcissist. And he's friends with my neighbor that lives up the street from me. He uses that as his excuse to go out of his way to drive by my house. But anytime I see him I don't acknowledge him. I refuse to waste any more energy in his direction either negative or positive. He's already ran the smear campaign against me to the neighborhood. I stand in my core power he can't touch me. I'm unfuckwithable! The universe has my back!
Not really, you only beat them when you ignore them for real and break contact. Obviously you don't know this evil people for real, or you still in negation.
Before I knew HE was a c. narc he would say or do something to wipe the smile right off my face. Now I know why. I usually stay neutral faced around him now. I know the angles he conjures up now.
That is exactly what I did when my sister said she intended to torture me for the rest of my life. I told her she couldn't if I didn't let her, then I went no contact for the last 15 years. I do hope she lost her mind!
I've stood up to them so many times it just gets easier every time and I cut them off!!! A lifetime of narcissist abuse makes it easy to walk away now! I don't put up with their crap anymore.
“BEST ADVICE YET!!!”… And Don’t REACT!! RESPOND WITH KINDNESS!! (They don’t like that either)!! Don’t let them “Suck that virtue out of You!!”.. 😍👍👍🙏🙏💓💓🌟🌟🌟
I've responded with kindness and they turned up the evil!! It's like you hugging someone and then they slap you. Very disarming and hurtful. And this was just dealing with a neighbor. I finally told him to kick rocks, that he's too much of a pain in the tukus to deal with. When he tried making up 5 months later I stood my ground.
However.. I do believe the response you get from them is from a “root of fear.. insecurity & shame” from the way they were emotionally (psychologically & Maybe physically) neglected In their Childhood!! Not making excuses for them.. but It helps me understand their Responses & reactions!! Praying for them!!🆘🙏🙏💔❤️🩹🥺😭🚫👿
Danish, you are saving me right now. Vicious, bully narc sister who humiliates, insults, gaslights me. Finally standing up to her. She's so pathological it scares me. Not even human.
You would fall off your chair if I told you what happened a few days ago. I still am having trouble believing it myself.I will have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. I will Never Recover from the Harm they have done to me...
Doesn't work. They simply will want to show you your place. And let you know that you can not control them. They may think how dare you even try so now it's punishment time for you. If you still aggravate them you will likely receive their rage. That can get so ugly and physical. Be careful!
Thank you. I nailed it on all 3 points. This is why I ended the relationship with the narc. Not the other way around. Something told me to end it, make a decision to end it and carry through. Do not look back.
The worst thing to do is stand up to a narcissist. From personal experience...you get abuse (including physical) and they blame you for making them lose their temper!!!
Thats their tactic. Open the door let them leave. Watch them curse u out as they leave. Now keepbthem out of your life. They will try anything what u want to hear to get u back. When they curse u out that is how they really feel about u. Im finally free of a fam member ❤ im free
First things first... get out/away... THEN you can stand up to them by living well without them. You are right... its dangerous when in close proximity.
@@mindysmith3683 hun...those are battle scars you got from being brave and you won the battle the moment you left his sorry arse. Never be ashamed of scars....you survived and that makes you a warrior in my book!
Yeah my narcissist is desperate since I moved out of the state to get away from him. He's lost all control, he sees me happy and thriving and healing and he can't stand it. And now when he runs his mouth I can simply hang up the phone. He hates it.
You are right. The narcissist loses their mind when you display these 3 behaviours and come after you with their worst (way worse than anything you would have experienced from them before). Be ready for a war!
Absolutely agree. This worked with my EX husband. The only thing is that, because they are vindictive & often sadistic, you need to be in a safe place to when doing this.
Putting a narcissist in their place when you can’t go ‘no contact’ is key. Don’t answer their calls - ring them back when it suits you and get off the phone by saying you have a call coming through and that you will call them back - but don’t. Don’t answer their texts for a least 7-8 hours. Laugh at them whenever you can and leave their company as soon as you can.
The x narc called me one time. He had a call coming through and went three way with me. It was a girls voice. He thought I was going to get jealous but I did not care as I knew what he was trying to do. So immature.
Ohh I feel soo so awesome. All these years figuring out things, blaming myself, feeling guilty and finally got to realise and know that I'm not the problem. I figured out all of the 3 things *exactly* you mentioned. And I have been watching almost all of your videos and having a narcissist parent I can say all are Truth. Thank you for helping people out, the ones who really need to realise what's going on if they have narcissists in their lives. ❤
The best thing to do is to ignore the narcissist completely. If you react in any way to their words or behaviour then they will see that as a win for them. They need to have attention and their ego pumped up continually, but that can never satisfy them because their self esteem is so low. Beware, because they will project their faults onto you. They will try to destroy you in the eyes of others. Keep away from them.
!!!!so true!!!! It seems like my power comes and goes. Some days I have it, some days I don't. He knows how to break through my barrier. And my emotions seem to take over some days. 😕
Thank you for the info. So true! Just broke up with my 5 yrs narcissistic relationship. And kept it real and moving on. Playing the victim card, and telling me how bad of a person I am with all kinds of assumptions and all the attention is not on them anymore. Enough is enough. Thank you for that input bc that's exactly how it was with my relationship. ❤️
Very powerful knowledge, thank you! So true. Some play victim, that our behavior has hurt them (so much) when in reality they are manipulating us with a strongwill to get their way.
Yeah, covert narcs always pull the victim card. always. If I don't agree to what they want, they say I'm "injuring" them. It's their ego that's hurting!
Yes my mother has replaced me with another person that buys into her bull crap. I told her I was done and will have no more contact with her period. I took my power back and moving forward. I have never been happier. Its hard when your raised by someone who hates you. Im good now and my husband and daughter are proud of me for standing up to my mother . I was tortured for 58 years and it had to end.
Did exactly that He ran and cried to his ex who took him back in… When I go in his area I make sure I got a smile on my face and look good, just in case 😂
@@lavettastevenson she’s very sick. Cancer. But guess what ! She was getting better while away from him but jealousy is evil and she couldn’t stand it so she lured him back in. He is oversexed and that’s how… I have a job full time and clean the house… and him sucking the life out of me with his negativity… pfftttt..
It's hard when you're married to the narcissist. But if you are married to a narcissist get away as fast as you can. I was married to one for 18 years. And I've been away from him for 16 years and I'm still healing. My mother was a narcissist and she just died a year ago and I'm still trying to get my bearings from being away from her. They do so much emotional damage if you let them in.
Yup I’m married to one and am older. No social support. No kids or relatives or friends to help. Can’t afford to move it’s a nightmare. I dream of a chance to escape daily. I’m always planning. I hope I can break free of this life ruining demon who everyone thinks is so great.
Thank you. This is helpful. My father was a narcissist and we figured it out years ago. BUT somehow I married a narcissist and never realized he was also a covert narcissist until now (3 years). It is so hard because I don’t know how to tell him I can’t live my life like this without him getting very upset, vengeful or whatever. I have heard scary things about divorcing narcissists and I saw the drama that my father put my mom through… took my mom like 5 years to go through the divorce process and meanwhile my dad did the smear campaign with his family. Some actually wrote letters to my mom basically condemning her to hell for divorcing him 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️. If they only knew the hell that she was living in… So I’m afraid… but I literally can’t live like this, I can’t focus, my health is suffering, my emotions are suffering… and I have a daughter from a past relationship so I need to be at my best for her…
Yes👏👏👏When they know they can’t run their game on you, they move on! Doesn’t mean they might not try to slander but they know you’re too much work & they can’t take the rejection so they move on🤩 You WIN the MOST when they move on of their own volition with the least amount of energy on your part🤘🙏💕💫
They are the most Evil beings I have ever met. I had to move out of State. .Best thing I ever did for myself. 💯💖And if he finds me.I have two friends. SMITH AND WESSON 💀💀
Ill never forget the night i was home alone, playing music, having a rare glass of wine while making year end photos for our daughter's class. He couldn't stand to see me having a quiet, peaceful night. He came in to complain that it was my fault he was unhappy, (I had fired him from mowing the lawn since he mowed over my landscape lights). Then he stated I was only in the relationship for his money. I'll never forget his expression when I literally laughed out loud., and said , "please God, don't tell me I got into this for money and chose you". 😅 At that point, I think he finally realized I had relinquished any concept of our relationship. It didn't make the situation easier but at least I had drawn a boundary he could understand
Easier said than done but every time I gain independence or joy it just gets violent. Last time I had a job he would hide my shoes or the car keys it even when went as far as him laying on the car so I couldn't leave, just for work I wasn't trying to kick it or go to the club but just to work but I still try I accept this for so long and thought I was just being a good wife but they still hate you in the end so for all those who have a choice be smarter than me
Yes such good advice that I wish I was armed with when I was in the battlefied with my narc. Especially #2 I look back and think he projected a lot of his insecurities onto me that had nothing to do with me at all.😢
Yep. Got cursed out by fam member. Used all 3 tips now and im free.. so happy now.. I cant tell I how much stronger i feel and no more guilt. ❤ thank you 😅😅😅😅
What he doesn't tell you is the narcissist will never forgive you. If he is your boss you are doomed. The narcissist will attempt to derail your career even if it takes 10 years. Beware.
Getting a new job works well. Never show fear. Interviewers can tell these bosses treat their employees. They see u are an honest person over what this kind of boss says. Have no fear. ❤
Once, I had a narc boss. I took care of her mom. Being a narc lawyer, she likes to throw her weight around. After grossly disrespecting me, I quit! She begged, I still quit. Later, her mom wanted me back. She called me to insist that I give her references, claiming that she didn't do that in the past and I quit on them so we wants to be careful this time. I told her I could not trust her with my references, I was not willing to take that chance, and I would pass. Yes narcs are relentless! They never get over the narc injury you caused them when you ended their control of you. That's just pathetic.
My husband made me quit every job , wouldnt watch kids he wanted , gave me something to do he said . Then kids grew up he caused drama . So they wont come around . Lol who blames them . He never does anything wrong . His life is so gross. He pisses all over never flushes a toliet . Sits by his pee hole outside . Im like washing it as it stinks
You are exactly right! I actually did these 3 things with my brother and he started being nice to me and left me alone. Then when I did something he didn’t like and confronted me I gave it right back and shut him down.
I did that last night, I told him he wasn't in a position to be demanding, he wasn't going to continue his gaslighting and I didn't let him get a word in while I told him, and I left, he turned on the silent treatment, I ignored it, which in turn I turned on my head set and started dancing to the music while cleaning. He screwed his tighty whities into a knot🤣
Been listening to you about a month. A couple weeks ago I started doing everything you suggested. I can see that me laughing at his cruel comments and just trying to be happy it's killing him. I say...I don't have time for your narcissistic bullshit anymore and I go about my day and walk away. He doesn't know how to respond. I just start singing to myself and dancing around. I told him I don't care what comes out of your mouth anymore, I know it's not true and God is watching you. 😂❤
and they will stalk the hell out of you. No matter where you go they will ALWAYS find you. They will put trackers on your car, break into your house, put cameras up in your house, break into your car put recorders in your car to listen to every conversation etc
Thank you for putting that out there. That is the shit I'm dealing with now. I could not figure out how he was always one step ahead of me... Because he's listening and watching my every move. I can not tell you how many door knobs and dead bolts I have gone thru in the past couple years. I live alone and come home to everything from shampoo to my paints tampered with. All MY cameras "somehow" stop working. It is so creepy and sick. I don't know the extent to which he's messed with my truck, but I can't drive it because God only knows . Sick MF needs to move on.
@debidebb7028 same here. Been dealing with the shit 5 years now. Feel constantly under surveillance-, no privacy, just been trying to figure out the perfect plan to bust his azz but like you said. He's always a step ahead but O one day!!!
I attacked him by telling him he must stop abusing me and the grandkids. I wrote him a scathing email. And then I went no contact. I hope he falls apart. Those kids deserve a healthy parent.
In doing those things, like I did- you better be prepared to deal with the ramifications of them losing their mind, and using every detail they know about you to take you down. They will put more time, effort, and money into taking everything you love about your life away from you, than they ever put into making a life with you. Know the cost
For an overly codependent person.. It is such a Joy to find out what happens with a narcissist... when you Calmly and slowly say No, I am not doing that. The sense that he/she is controlling You.. dissolves. And, when they insult you, and you calmly smile and thank them... Without the usual payoff, they become speechless.
It's not that they don't think, they don't think logical or consciencely. All they care about is their self gratification, and what they need to do and who they can use to get it.
The ex was so angry that I left after he had changed the locks to the house when I and my kids went on a road trip to see family, which he told me explicitly he didn't want to go. He had told me he would never pay child support and I told him it didn't matter to me, I don't need anything from him. He stated paying child support every 3 months then he stopped. But I still don't care and he's trying to talk to me and I'm fine without his so called help. He's always asking me if I need help but last time he asked he never helped.
Why not take him to court and make him pay? You don’t have to deal with him or talk to him at all. Know your rights. If you have a child together, he must help support your child financially. That’s his responsibility. Don’t let him get away from it.
My ex bought a new car when I went out of town to see family. He said I " left him". He was living with me in MY apartment! WTF??? Refused to pay child support. Showed up with a $5.00 package of diapers his MOTHER bought to give to me. But, insisted to try to be the boss although I got full custody in the divorce. Their insanity is real. Lol 😂
C.Islas- I do so hope you at least have him on formal child support? Through court ? Do he has to pay you something.. which will make him bleed… and if he doesn’t pay then the court issues warrants etc …
True man , you know he asks if you need help , so he can deny help and laugh you fell for it . Mine will say whats wrong ? Thats a loaded question not a care . Hell use it against me . I must never take a day off . That hurts him
These are all true, before I have seen this video I already started doing these and focus on myself and mental health. And I stood up for myself when ever he is attacking me or our children. One day he just left the house. Now we are quiet, peaceful, happy and got our freedom back. So do these if you want to break free from narcissistic people. Thank you for this video I am sure it will help a lot of people that is still going through tough times. Self love and self respect. If they cannot give it to you. Well we can give it ourselves. ❤
This explains a lot of why things exploded when they did. We had stood up to the bullying a few days beforehand and they plotted and turned on us and turned it physical. Then we had to flee. Thank God for DV centers.
