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Do THIS When Confronted with Negative Nellies and Chronic Complainers 

Todd Perelmuter
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Sometimes, people we come across can suck all of the energy from us. What can start as a great day can quickly turn into a pit of despair if we encounter one of these types of folks. They can zap our energy, destroy our good mood, and make us start doubting ourselves.
But, there is a way to completely protect our mental and emotional energy. There is a way to become immune to the tactics of negative people. In this video, I share how we can stay positive and energized no matter how much an energy vampire tries to feed on us.
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20 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 107   
@sonjalillard114
@sonjalillard114 Год назад
Really needed this. I have to meet a lot of relatives during these holidays and some of them are very energy draining.
@KristaBear
@KristaBear 11 месяцев назад
I needed this too. Im getting so fed up that Ive lost compassion for these people
@marionbooth8103
@marionbooth8103 Год назад
Thank you Todd. Well said. I found there is another type of energy vampire. Someone who talks incessantly, especially about themself, which is all positive ofcourse. They just use you for their own purpose.
@marthaguevaramontoya7856
@marthaguevaramontoya7856 Год назад
Oh Wow yes you're right. I'm dealing with a very negative family member at the moment. But I just stay away and instead go within. And yes of course, just witness whenever they gaslight around you 😁 Thank you🙏🌅
@tommybinson
@tommybinson Год назад
❤ peace, courage and best wishes.
@beachchick7688
@beachchick7688 8 месяцев назад
My boyfriend I jumped into a relationship and living together way too fast. Now 3 yrs later I have heard complaints and whining and negativity for 3 yrs. I'm a happy person. He's a huge downer....it's really messed up. Good blog on this
@graciedays
@graciedays 2 месяца назад
Hey! I’m in the same boat as you. Our glasses are half full while theirs are half empty. Have you found a way to manage it?
@hongkonghottie
@hongkonghottie Месяц назад
did you ever confront him on this? some people need the hard truths
@denisehay8895
@denisehay8895 Год назад
Thank you Todd. Wonderful advice. I used to have a neighbour who was an energy vampire and on one occasion desperation kicked in and I said 'Tell me just one positive thing in your life right now!' I don't recall her answer. I have to really watch myself at the moment because I find I'm being drawn, attracted even into negative conversations about the state of the world right now. 'Let it be'. Thank you for the reminder. The Beatles sang about that. Bless you Todd.
@honorahs.3262
@honorahs.3262 Год назад
I wish there was a help line for negative people rather than judging or walking away. Like do you hear yourself complaining or seeing things negatively… here are the signs…and here is what to do. Neg people are caught in a void and need to find their own peace.❤
@mritzs5142
@mritzs5142 Год назад
Todd just as I was settling in to absorb this presentation, one of my energy vampires, my main one, called. I did not answer but I reacted very much in a panic, this is my primary abuser in life , But as I listened to you, I realized even that kind of reaction, although not seen by them, is damaging to me So as I listened I learned being a witness is also being a silent witness to ourselves . I really treasure you
@i-Seek_YT
@i-Seek_YT Год назад
A True principal (energy vampires) 😁. Similar to "birds of the same feather should flock together". You have to watch the company you keep. Negative people can suck out your positivity, but optimistic people only adds to your happiness.
@aidanm4211
@aidanm4211 Год назад
Fear came knocking on my door. Love answered and nobody was there.
@Ruvolume1
@Ruvolume1 2 месяца назад
THIS!!!! 🎯💯‼️
@jackdavies2662
@jackdavies2662 6 месяцев назад
THANK YOU TOD! I have been really struggling with my work colleagues and their complaining. I'm inheriting a medium sized business and from a handful of individuals I just get negative work attitudes and over the years it has really affected me. But recently it became really apparent that it isn't the business that's the problem as even when I fix their issues (most of which I'm grateful for because they point out where you can improve if you can deflect the negativity), they still find things to moan about. But becoming conscious of this has been difficult for myself because I'm still stuck in the thought pattern of it effecting me. This video has just resonated perfectly with me and it's what I've been reading for yours but somehow it's just got me. ♥️👍
@thornethistleandtear5415
@thornethistleandtear5415 Год назад
This was the only video that actually sided with the ones that get zapped than the vampires!!!! I appreciate it so much!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💗
@soniaangelic2437
@soniaangelic2437 11 месяцев назад
I'm feeling a relief after listening to your video.
@MauriceRivers415
@MauriceRivers415 3 месяца назад
I think this is the saddest thing in the world, especially for aging narcissists and parents who were horrid to their children: old age, loneliness, realizing the mistakes you could have avoided in your life, dying alone. But it makes you think: when it's your time, how will you reflect on the time you've spent? Was it worth it being so mean and nasty to people when you were younger? Did you do what you set out to do? Do you know who you are? Did you get what you wanted out of life? Was it worth it all, being so miserable and hurtful to other people, only to end up a shell of yourself and with body aches/pain? In the end, I have zero sympathy or pity for the aging/elderly narcissist or complainer. Karma doesn't sleep or forget an address, and they all eventually fade into obscurity as the world progresses and moves on without them.
@KoolT
@KoolT 9 месяцев назад
Observe them like a patient
@tommybinson
@tommybinson Год назад
Brilliant advice on a dark, agonising but common situation. I have been there at work and home. It is hard not to resist negativity.❤
@ChangeYourLife1122
@ChangeYourLife1122 Год назад
Thank you 💕 Todd, the more we react to this people, the more fuel we give them, I like to think of energy vampires as the "empty shells" , or "empty tanks " an empty tank need a fuel to keep the engine going, this applies to narcissists themselves, this people need a supply ( fuel) and supply for them can be arguments, conflicts, ect .. anything, the more we argue with them the more energy we fuel to them ❤️
@kcdtran
@kcdtran 8 месяцев назад
Make a statement to them so that they slowly and gradually understand that you and they operate on different frequencies of consciousness. That you and they speak different languages. That their mental/psychological computer is trying to transfer a file for which your computer does not have a compatible decoder. Use your vibes to tell them without telling them that they can go ahead and send out all these negative vibes and there will be absolutely zero receiving/acknowledging from you. I have been behaving like this at work, I talk to verbally and electronically and work with the complainers on a regular basis while quietly making my statement to them. They are water and I am wax.
@elainereader9247
@elainereader9247 Год назад
I really really needed to hear this. this is exactly what i need to learn. I will (hopefully) listen to this 20, 30, 40 or more times til it becomes my own voice. Thank you!
@cowtown7277
@cowtown7277 Год назад
You are doing a great job man! Thank you for your wisdom!
@carole4448
@carole4448 Год назад
Thank you Todd, love it🙏🏻🌈
@ceewalker1133
@ceewalker1133 7 месяцев назад
I get what you are saying but we all have emotions and it literally breaks me when my partner complains about everything and everyone. And it's not just the complaining it's the anger that comes with it! How can one keep calm when it's always directed at you and its loud. You will literally drive yourself insane if you ignore it or try to! Really considering breaking up with this person. I'm not happy, I've become unhappy.
@RelaxingMusic-cd7so
@RelaxingMusic-cd7so День назад
You never experienced a hard-core one in your life dail6y for years on years
@malcolmnicoll1165
@malcolmnicoll1165 День назад
"If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia. We don't like to hear the word “vampire” around here; we're trying to improve our public image. Building a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image; “interdependence” is the keyword - “enlightened interdependence." -William S. Burroughs
@EP61
@EP61 Год назад
“Observing without labeling” Thanks
@guddocta
@guddocta 6 месяцев назад
Thanks as always for the crystal clear explanation and solution to a problem encountered every day. Realise you are the witness
@CasadeCastiza
@CasadeCastiza 10 месяцев назад
Exactly what I needed at this moment ❤ Thank you
@marisaelenenadiejamusiccom3974
@marisaelenenadiejamusiccom3974 7 месяцев назад
So many are down …i like being alne…dancing and smiling 😊
@sadie4587
@sadie4587 Год назад
This is absolutely the best advice ever!! 🙌
@barbarablom5945
@barbarablom5945 Год назад
I really needed this right now. Thank you so much, Todd.
@danaanderson8000
@danaanderson8000 Год назад
Yes! let their energy go right through you..Observe 🌈☀ I'm grateful for you 🤍
@tracyr.l.oflaherty2597
@tracyr.l.oflaherty2597 Год назад
BRILLIANT! God Bless
@susandeehutton
@susandeehutton Год назад
So helpful! Thank you. perfect timing, too.❤🎉
@stevebonder3571
@stevebonder3571 Год назад
This is gold.
@brittanyann869
@brittanyann869 Год назад
I’m SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE FOUND YOU!! there is not many people (that I can find) that will think the way you do! YOU ARE EXACTLY what I was looking for when I typed in the search bar, “HOW TO STAY POSITIVE AROUND NEGATIVE people-(my partner) he’s veryyyyy EGO-driven (I know why I attracted him and how I manifested him in the past because I was on his vibration. He’s starting to come up into that “fifth dimensional way of thinking” at times because I am actually aware that my outer world is a reflection of my inner world. I am aware that I can change my reality. Just based off thinking and feeling the way that I feel. So in that sense, this was literally what I needed. (I am still working on this myself, and getting beyond the old beliefs that I once had.) I needed to figure out how to respond when he is flipping out about traffic or something petty and minor in his day. I would notice my body start to feel his energy and then before i know it, I’m back in the 3D with him. I have to stay aware so i can be where I essentially plan to be. Christ consciousness is where you are or where you’re headed and i am right there along this path with you! So i will be staying on this path you. THANK YOU! Thank you thank you!
@brittanyann869
@brittanyann869 Год назад
I also have 3 babies UNDER 3. So AGAIN THANK YOU. I can’t even say it enough how fucking thankful I am to have found someone to help me through these tough moments. I grew up in a narcissistic (I hate using those “labeling type” of words but now you get a pic of my experience in my personal journey.) family. I have since had to move away from all of my known reality to be able to focus on what and who I really was. So I related to every video of yours I’ve watched. I spend all of my days home with babies and my husband works A lot. I also am a designer and run the creative part of our business. So learning about my demons to essentially become enlightened and be able to give my family unconditional love is my ultimate goal. ❤
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter Год назад
Thank you so much for the kind words and support. Grateful that it's resonating. Sending all the love and blessings your way ❤
@elizabethmcmeens1436
@elizabethmcmeens1436 Год назад
Todd, thank you! This is beautiful! So much gratitude! Blessings to you! ♥️🪶🧚🏽‍♀️
@Sheboss333
@Sheboss333 Год назад
💗 it brother! As always, thanks for all you do! 💙✌️🤗
@MariaHernandez-bz2oe
@MariaHernandez-bz2oe 8 месяцев назад
Thanks for your peaceful advice, spread peace and tranquility. Namaste peace friend
@Dancievsworld
@Dancievsworld Год назад
Thank you for this video 🙏
@AN-ym7it
@AN-ym7it Год назад
That was a much needed advise... Thank you so much Todd... U are incredible 😊
@Aquachick65
@Aquachick65 Год назад
On point again. Thank you 🙏❤️
@ShimmerBodyCream
@ShimmerBodyCream 9 месяцев назад
Thanks for helping everyone!
@j.m.b5441
@j.m.b5441 9 месяцев назад
That is exactly what I do, I don't care about what they say, sometimes it's even funny and I even laugh at the situation.
@natureisallpowerful
@natureisallpowerful Год назад
Emotional vampires I choose not to let that stuff affect me now. That's their own stuff,live and let live.
@gregoryhariton2785
@gregoryhariton2785 Год назад
This is such a wonderful message. ❤️ 🙏🤗 Thank you 😊
@shelleycharlesworth5177
@shelleycharlesworth5177 2 месяца назад
I think my 63 yr old partner has ADHD and if ONE thing goes wrong then everything is AWFUL. This is so exhausting. He is an expert at noticing what is WRONG. He is always a victim....this is how he sees himself and it sucks for me to see him like this. Ugh. So I have to "allow" him to "just be"? He goes on and on and on and ON...I have left the house many times just to get AWAY from him and get some peace..and this helps me calm down but if it's dark outside then I will NOT leave and so I have to endure this negativity which is depressing and horrible for ME I'm getting worn out .....agh........
@BeanTownBruce
@BeanTownBruce Год назад
I'm sharing you to my global community!
@annettejacoby1987
@annettejacoby1987 Год назад
So helpful your advice! Thank you so much, dear Todd! I wish you a peaceful christmas time. Greetings from Germany.
@renedream66
@renedream66 6 месяцев назад
I've had to deal with a person whose very dear to me who has had alot of trauma that she can't talk about anything without talking about it. We are talking 40+ years of pain. I'm more than happy to support but it's quite hard as I feel she isn't listening to the helpful messages I give for healing and self discovery. I agree that a person must just let an energy vamp BE and not give all our energy. 💚
@simon1593
@simon1593 Год назад
It's so annoying where I keep coming across these people from the gym, macdonald's drinking only coffee and work they all really want to tell me their stories or complain errr.....wait....same thing. I have had enough of being made to feel depressed just because thier toxic. I am a happy optomisitic guy my energy is not for them !....so to keep them away music and the words. I cannot talk I'm busy have a good one is my f*** you to them. Postivity in the face of adversity is key
@naamashnizel
@naamashnizel Год назад
Thank you ❤
@lovebehindthescenes
@lovebehindthescenes 8 месяцев назад
Beautiful advice ❤ thank you
@robowarriorluis
@robowarriorluis 11 месяцев назад
Thank you so much. A really impressive perspective! ☮️🙏🏽
@balur104
@balur104 Год назад
Thank you so much
@Geee11
@Geee11 Год назад
Witness without labelling… 🌟
@richardfox2865
@richardfox2865 Месяц назад
Vipassana is definitely the method.
@username6265
@username6265 Год назад
Good Advice :) have a good day
@RhodyStarGazer4479
@RhodyStarGazer4479 Год назад
Allow them to be✨
@lucindawilson5510
@lucindawilson5510 Год назад
thank you
@adikeys
@adikeys Год назад
Gratitude 🙏❤
@SusanChinnery60
@SusanChinnery60 Год назад
Wonderful advice. ❤
@suuzq02
@suuzq02 3 месяца назад
DONT react Respond Thank you my guardian Angel Dale Tegmeier-- who came into my life for a reason WOW- the unnecessary times I wasted in my life listening and reacting to do many people all my life Thank you 😊 for this video ❤ Having a Narcissistic parent and younger sister who looks just like mom -- was like growing up on a desert ALL ALONE A mothers inner jealousy is so hurtful In Jesus Christ precious mar I forgive I choose peace love light Funny the younger spoiled brat sis decided to estrange herself from family 4 22 years Now she thinks after dad died she can control and manipulate reality
@theanicca
@theanicca 4 месяца назад
Thank you for this clarity and affirmation. Curious to know your thoughts on my perspective - I have told a dear friend who is a chronic complainer that I'm not available to listen to her complaints. I'm available to help her find solutions, and sometimes I'm available to help her process, if that's what she's seeking. But I'm not able to listen to goal-less complaining or venting. She has accepted this. I feel a little mean/guilty, and I'm wondering if I'm missing something. Thoughts?
@marklayman8452
@marklayman8452 11 месяцев назад
Thanks man❤
@lykarabbit3
@lykarabbit3 Год назад
I love the advice as I struggle with this with my close relatives. In practical terms though, I can't just say literally NOTHING when my MOM is complaining about the slow service at a store😅If I blank stare her she'll just keep repeating it. So my go to is naturally to raise her energy up to show how ridiculous it is to complain about it. What do I do? 🤔😁 I'm just going through your vids, thank you for them, they're exactly what the universe is wanting me to learn and improve on in this FANTASTIC journey ❤️
@tommybinson
@tommybinson Год назад
Fine comment Peace, courage and best wishes.
@ranvijaysingh5002
@ranvijaysingh5002 Год назад
2:26 holding the loving presence right?
@djeanmose9719
@djeanmose9719 Год назад
I need this advice
@Nshree
@Nshree Месяц назад
🙏🙏🙏
@mspence0826
@mspence0826 Год назад
What do we say when they constantly ask if you agree? I tried “going grey” and my boss keeps making negative comments and complaining and asking me to weigh in. It’s forced participation in her negative state.
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter 11 месяцев назад
See if you can identify and drop that negative mental story about that situation and start playing with those interactions in more joyful and enthusiastic and present way
@BeanTownBruce
@BeanTownBruce Год назад
Dude I love your message! I'm relatively new on this journey and your words are soothing to me.
@path_ethics
@path_ethics Год назад
Wow, just realised my father (who I love) is my energy vampire. That must be why I feel so exhausted and angry when I argue with his pessimistic views. Damn.
@jessicarediger1123
@jessicarediger1123 Год назад
totally agree - but what about when you work with this person?? I ignore her, I don't validate her, but yet she cannot enjoy peace and quiet - she HAS to fill the silence with her ailments and as much as I try it's so hard - she sucks the life out of the office.
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter Год назад
There is really very little we can do to change others. But, often when we change our reaction, other people adjust how they interact with you. The best thing to do when we get upset in these situations is self inquiry, such as, "Why am I really upset? Is there a way I can be in this moment and not be upset? Can I even love this moment?"
@juliaachenbaugh9094
@juliaachenbaugh9094 Год назад
So, do we just avoid and walk away without commenting, do we just nod and show compassion with simple words without true feeling? I need to know how to respond exactly. I live with one currently and can't get away so simply yet. I mean, I could, but only to a situation that I don't feel is a ton better and not without a lot of conflict and feeling bad about it. It's a complicated situation for me that I'm not quite ready to leave as my boyfriend and I both live with her and she is in poor health. Granted my boyfriend has his own issues too, that I don't think he is willing to put the work into fixing, but I'm still somewhat hopeful. I do know that it's all making it very hard for me to keep doing my own growth and healing. Trying to learn to set boundaries and enforce consequences, but struggle with realizing my own worth and value fully. I'm a work in progress.
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter Год назад
I totally understand. Each moment may require a different response. You may need to muster all of your compassion in order to calmly say I need some space or I need to be alone for just a little bit. Other times you may be able to hold a peaceful space that neither drains you nor feeds the complainers. You just have to keep listening to your heart
@NyQuilDonut
@NyQuilDonut Месяц назад
I've been dealing with an energy vampire for years, and nothing has worked. I can be positive and try to lift them out of their negative mood, but it's only for that moment. They will never stop being a complainer. This guy's advice isn't bad, but it's not even possible to not engage with their negativity when they talking directly to you. The only real choices are to tell them how you feel respectfully, and hope they try to change, or run. Typically the latter is the only solution unfortunately.
@colinmccowan9056
@colinmccowan9056 Год назад
Is this tactic also the most effective in motivating a negative person to change their ways?
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter Год назад
It is very effective because we can best teach by example. So when we live our own truth, we help others do the same. It may be a slow process, but everyone comes to the truth in their own time.
@richardfox2865
@richardfox2865 Год назад
Vipassana, Dude.
@audreysuter4315
@audreysuter4315 Год назад
I disagree, by not calling out these energy vampires, we are enabling them to further target other potential victims.
@ToddPerelmuter
@ToddPerelmuter Год назад
Quite right, enabling and encouraging are neither wise nor kind to anyone and not what I would recommend
@Meli.Just_be.
@Meli.Just_be. Год назад
🙏💜
@divanbadenhorst112
@divanbadenhorst112 Год назад
❤️🙌
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
Games.... Include verbal abuse!
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
So best is to just BE! Response: I hear U!
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
Everyone goes around the track once in life, and if U don't enjoy that trip, it's pretty pathetic!
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
A touch of folly is needed if we R to extricate ourselves successfully from some of the hazards of life!
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
And of course..... people play a lot of games!......🌎🌟🦋🌞⭐🎶
@maryseokley6061
@maryseokley6061 Год назад
Then there is also a good read: "what U think of me is none of my business"! Apply that...
@jadepatrick7644
@jadepatrick7644 Год назад
0:50 profound!
@ElisPalmer
@ElisPalmer Год назад
🌟🙏🏼🌟
@marsulgumapu2010
@marsulgumapu2010 Год назад
So people aren’t allowed to complain anymore? Sounds like toxic positivity.
@NyQuilDonut
@NyQuilDonut Месяц назад
You should really take the time to understand terms you don't understand before speaking on them. Nobody's saying that you should never ever complain. Energy vampires are people who complain too much and drain you with their negativity.
@steveos5112
@steveos5112 Год назад
Kind of like arguing with a woman.
@colinmccowan9056
@colinmccowan9056 Год назад
Or a man
@pangeaproxima9446
@pangeaproxima9446 Год назад
_Never argue with a woman because they're gonna remind you of things that haven't happened yet._
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