Do you feel 'unlucky' in love? 

Finally! I’m so tired to hear people saying you need to perfect yourself in order to deserve a relationship while we watch people that don’t seem to ever work on themselves going through one relationship after the other. Not to mention when you go out there and see players having people lined up to get a bit of their attention. Thank you. Love your videos.

I know many wonderful, sincere, deep, compassionate and passionate women (some men as well) who are so called unlucky in love - while so many less than deep and sincere people seem to go from relationship to relationship. It is common that us who are single are constantly told to 'improve ourselves', 'to grow' etc., and it is never enough... while many who do not bother, have no troubl at all finding partners after partners... So I would not be so quick to judge us who are single. perhaps the potential partners are not ready :) until they are ready, the search continues..´

It doesn't work. I've been optimistic for many years and still get treated like trash. I've done and read all self love exercises. I think it's okay that we admit that not everyone on earth will get a good relationship, some people are sick out there and are big liars.

"Sometimes your partner is still baking." LOVE THAT!!! Many thanks Susan!

Its depressing I think I'm destined to die alone

No it is about luck...some have it, get married etc then some people date , and date and date and never find anyone....but we can try to create our own luck...never stop trying!

The amount of years, time, money, energy I was forced to go to therapy and work on myself yet still attract snakes and bad friends and no boyfriend… like I’m gorgeous, I’m not even trying to brag but I dress well, people say I’m pretty, I have a good figure, I volunteer, I empathize, I can psint, sing, write, craft, you name it, I remember people’s birthdays… and yet I’ve been treated like crap, which sends me into crisis, to which I’m suggested expensive therapy, nobody puts any effort towards me, shows genuine interest. I’m cursed. 100 %. I can’t explain this nonsense that has been my life any other way.

This world is fucked up. Good hearted people always get heartbroken, betrayed and left alone while those fuckers who play with people feeling get what they want. Life is unfair and I hated it.

Thank you for this video as I really needed to see this. I am literally “sick” of sense that you need to find yourself and be the best version of yourself before you will meet the one for you. Who came up with this legacy? People meet at all different times in their life, they go through wars together and meet each other sometimes at their very worse state. Love will find you at any time. It’s great that we do work on ourselves and work towards being better people but I totally agree we all deserved to be loved and we don’t need to earn love. We are enough already today and no one should let you believe otherwise! ❤️

Just more advice on what to do to get a guy. First this, then that, act this way, act that way, be strong but not too strong, say what what you want but only in a certain way......I’m tired of it all.

As far as your friends who are partnered. Look at who they are partnered with. Ask yourself, would those men who your friends are partnered with be a match for you? If the answer to the majority is no, then you have standards that are higher than most. There may be good reason for this in that you are high quality yourself and you are looking for a match of your caliber. As Susan mentioned, anyone can be in a relationship if you don't care what that person is. It is better to be alone than miserable with the wrong person. How many times have you thought to yourself about someone a friend or acquaintance is in a relationship with. I don't know what he/she sees in that person, he/she is too good for them.

I am a Empathy and I have a tendency to attract broken people. So I do long periods of singleness. I don't care about getting married or having kids. I just would like to meet my partner in crime.

But it's like being baking forever , I can't ever find the right partner .

I am so grateful for this video! I just mentioned to someone that I must be unlucky in love, and I always think that I have to work terribly hard to perfect myself so that I will 'earn' a great partner from the universe. I can't tell you how exhausting it is to daily have these thoughts. Thank you so much, from The Hague!

My personal journey of learning self worth and self love led me to my husband today. Trust me when I say the journey was quite hurtful, but I became so much stronger, smarter, and more independent than ever.

My friends settled for the first girl who showed interest. They never went out there and dated.I would never turn to them for any advice. They say my standards are too high but I am able to attract high quality women now and they get all butthurt when I talk about it, but still look at me as the guy who is unlucky with women.No, I just have standards and don't settle for women I'm not attracted to mentally or physically. The vast majority are quietly unhappy.

The other day one of the gurus I listen to said two ppl have to be whole before considering a relationship. That does not sit right nor does it make any sense in these days where so many are damaged by parents, marriages, love and life in general. Some of our broken edges fit together with just one other soul and create the most wholeness we will ever know. To know where we are broken with missing pieces and to be on our guard working on it is about as whole as we can hope to be. I pray I find a partner who realizes this and will welcome me because it's what I went thru that made me who I am.

Great video. I gave up hoping for a relationship cause of so many bad recent experiences, but I’m keeping the faith and resting in the knowing my partner is on his way. I hear about about this self love stuff and my spiritual A game is way up so I like how you mention that that stuff doesn’t matter. I loved your message here. Proceed with faith and trust. I’m ready. I claim that!! I deserve to be loved and known. Thanks Susan for keeping the light shining.

I think the biggest problem in today’s society is ppl are too stuck on what a person does for a living, instead of looking at their potential and their desires for life, “baking” you should be growing together instead of waiting for them to be at a certain point, to where that person now has much more choices and he/she might see you now as an option from a crowd of many, many more.

You are already and always have been deserving of love. You do not need to earn love. Anyone can receive it at anytime. You are inherently lovable and nothing is wrong with you. People in relationships are not inherently better or more deserving, they’re just in relationships. Relationship status does not define or determine your value. ❤️

I am older than dirt, so I have some experience. I just always believe that I will have love, never a doubt in my mind. In times when I don't have a partner, I figure the right man and I haven't found each other, yet. My parents were very loving, so I have no doubt in my mind that I am worthy of love or being loved, or knowing what it looks like when I find it. I feel very fortunate to know this.

There is so much love and compassion coming through this video. Thank-you Susan!

I attract men all the time. A few are always chasing me. My wants are that I want to fall in love. My problem is that when I'm attracted to someone (which is rare) I go full blown avoidant. I'm afraid that they'll think how dare I be attracted to them or love them. I'm afraid to show interest or show too much interest. I get so confused. One minute I'm super self confident, the other minute I'm thinking there is no way this person will like me back. I feel like I'm cursed. Why can't I act around the men I'm attracted to the same way I act around men I'm not attracted to??

This is just what I needed. I had these thoughts just hours ago, logged into RU-vid and this is the first thing I see. Susan idk how you do it EVERY TIME. Now excuse me while I go listen to this on repeat!

You are so wise,kind and beautiful woman. ♥️ You help so many people and you give them confidence and life back. Best wishes! ♥️♥️♥️

I needed this video, it was very reassuring. Thank you Susan. Patience is the key. When you get clear in your profiles you will scare off the flakes and attract people of the same mind. That can take time. A lot of singles are jaded and hesitant to reach out but if you're persistent and consistent the right person will make themselves available. Hope we all get lucky in love sooner than later 💖

Lol my friends met eachother in college and then just stuck together. My other friend met his on slowly, and they just knew on their first date. My other friend met hers in a pub. My other friend met hers in the church, others in school... So yeah... The total consensus is that "love will just happen". And then me who just watch them... i feel like love isn't happening to me. What am I doing wrong? Maybe I am not attractive enough? Maybe I am hard to get to know. Maybe I am not a good person, or maybe suffer low self esteem. But so do my friends! And they still found fulfilling, satisfying relationships. Maybe this is why i feel so bitter, is because my friends are the type of people who find good partners for them, while i only find nothing.

This video made me cry and helped so much. I can't thank you enough ❤️

You're amazing Susan! I love the energy you bring, and it's clear through tone, rhythm, and lack of hesitation that you know these truths well and with confidence. It's incredible how much human knowledge you have accumulated. I've been watching a lot of your past videos, and i'm glad you're still making them! With great respect and admiration, Brandon

Susan, this is what I needed to hear today. I am leaning in & have surrendered. after a divorce (12 years of marriage), 1 x 14 months relationship & 1 x 3 months long distance who just pulled away, I am not gonna beat myself up. A lot of self reflection & introspection, I think maybe I am in an auto -pilot Masculine energy most of the time. Being mindful & checking in on my awareness when I start to drift. The rest I trust "The Universe Has My Back". Love your videos.🌟👍💗

Ppl who are less prepared seem to have 100’s of relationships, while ppl who are in order, seem to have a harder time, doesn’t make sense, but I think it comes down to how picky you are, and giving that person you think is a plain Jane or Joe a chance.

I just watched one of your other videos but couldn't comment because it was on my phone...so I jumped on my laptop just to tell you....YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! The Goddess' Athena (Nike), Easter and many others are smiling upon you. The world is a better place because you are in it!

I don't find this comforting. I keep getting rejected by men I like. I'm working on my self-love. So what's the problem? And yeah I don't like dating apps, so am I doomed?

Susan, your advice is really great. Just simply thank you :) Please keep on doing what you do. It's really helpful and very comforting

Hi Susan - a home run again! I LOVED your comment about the more elevated you become, your choices become fewer. Having FINALLY become more elevated, I totally agree and I wouldn't change a thing! If I never find the 'right' one for me now, so be it. I like being with myself and my friends. LOVE LOVE LOVE your wisdom.

Susan, you speak directly to my heart! That’s exactly what I’m feeling at the moment, from being unlucky in love in comparison with my friends to being blocked because I’m not spiritually ready. Thank you thank you thank you for telling me I don’t have to EARN love, and that love can be found in every level of life. Much love ❤️

I so needed to hear this today!! Thank you ❤❤

I’m so tired of love honestly. After getting burned many times. But you pointed out good points to be aware of. This video made me feel better!! Thanks Susan!❤

I am 19 and definitely think I amongst your younger viewers. Thank you so much for this video Susan. I have expressed that I want a boyfriend while putting on a party girl persona. This video also made me realize that when men do express interest in being my boyfriend I freak out because I actually see relationships as restrictive and I want the intimacy and company without the responsibility of maintaining and building a relationship. Thank you so much!

The problem is, what if I don't know what I want anymore? If I don't know who it is I am anymore.

Story of my life...

Hey Susan, just liked it before even watching, your content is amazing.. thank you!

Dear Susan, From all the relationship coaches out on RU-vid, I find your videos the most helpful and comforting. Thanks so much for sharing your lovely insights with us. I'm currently going through heartbreak (broken engagement). Your words from 3:00 to 3:32 resonates so much with me because I'm the guy "on the other side" who find myself all confused as to why she pulled off at the last moment before the wedding when nothing went wrong externally. She has no explanation and just went mute. As a man of logic my mind tries to find answers but then I ask myself, can I measure the density of a black hole? In other words, some things will remain a mystery. I have to let this one go. I hold no grudge and because of my spiritual practice and deep desire to be kind and compassionate, I forgive her and will always wish the best for her. I still care deeply for her. I'm now focusing on self healing and love for me in this moment is all about "letting go". Easier said than done but I get comfort and solace from watching your videos. Whatever happens, I'm not going to let myself be bitter. Life is too short for that. May all beings be filled with joy and peace! Thanks again!

Excellent video, Susan! Thank you, thank, thank you!!!

More brilliant advice from Susan. Thank you.

Wow this was so helpful ! Thank you !

So wise. Love to hear your thoughts!

Unlucky in love. That would be me. What I had to offer was not what was wanted.

Another great one, Susan. I am worthy of love right now but will accept the fact that in this season of singleness (post-divorce) that perhaps I and my future partner are still “baking” as you put it. Thanks!

Thats exactly how i feel all the time and i am in my 40s.

Let me tell you what unlucky/cursed is... I found the one. I knew there was something there the minute I met her. I knew I wanted a relationship with her. I pursued her much harder than I had anyone before. I was driven to win her over. I did. In the days, weeks and months that followed, we were hardly ever apart. We fell in love more each day. Less than a year later I knew she was the one for me. I asked her to marry me and she happily said yes. She moved in and we shared the news with family and friends. All of them could see how good we were together. Time went by and we were happier than I had ever imagined two people could be. Disagreements were few and far between. Never much more than a simple misunderstanding. We both wanted the same things from a relationship. We settled in and life was wonderful. Then came that day it started to fail. I knew something was wrong in my heart. She lied to me for the first time, and I saw right through it. Neither of us knew why it happened, but she cheated on me and she couldn't even say why. I mostly forgave her but ended the engagement. It happened again. I broke up with her because I was hurt and confused. It was what people told me I needed to do. I didn't want to, but didn't know what else to do. It wasn't ok, what she did. Eventually we got back together. We still loved each other and the pain had faded. In time it happened again. I broke up again. But it wasn't over. Soon she came back with tears in her eyes. She asked me to take her back. I was still hurting too much to say yes, even though that is what I wanted more than anything in my life. I left her behind and moved to another state. We didn't know it then, but she had an addiction. My therapist had told me that it was probably an addiction. My therapist had known the situation the whole time. When I finally started to heal from the pain, I realized that my old therapist had been right. I knew that she did really love me as much as I did her. I tried to find her but I couldn't. Later I found out that she had been searching for me as well. For twenty-one years I tried to move on, but I could never find anyone I could love again. It was never right. Then one day (two months ago) after a bad date, I began to think about the one I had left behind. What we had lost. I started to feel the love I had for her like it was only yesterday I had left her. I had to take the chance and try to find her. I could deal with an addiction if she got help. I soon found her. I found out that she still loved me as well. She had tried to move on as well. To find love again. But like me, she had never found anyone she could love. But it wasn't alright. It was a friend telling me about this, because she couldn't. She had been traumatized a number of times. She has severe PTSD. She had a break down and never recovered. She only partly recognizes me. She is still in pieces. She has no emotions and only a few memories. She is not the same person anymore. She doesn't even remember herself, using a different name. There is no love for me anymore. There is no anything that requires an emotion. She can't feel anything. The only thing left that I can see, is that one day soon after finding her, she had a blackout. For a couple hours she was again the person I knew before. Full of love for me and wanting me still. For the next few days it was seizures and flashbacks. Then back to broken and no emotion. It's been incredibly hard to see what has happened to her. I feel very guilty. I know that if I had been with her those things wouldn't have happened. I feel so horribly helpless to do anything to help her. I still love her as much as I ever have. I found the love of my life. I first lost her to addiction, then I lost her by location. Now I have lost her to trauma and PTSD. That love is still there, locked inside her somewhere. And there is nothing I can do. That is unlucky in love. That is being cursed.

I didn't think I was unlucky in love til someone else pointed it out😬

This was an excellent video

Thank you for this important message Susan. I was meant to hear this at the right time on my journey of love. Thank you for everything, God Bless you. ❤🧿🙏💚 Greetings from London, UK 🇬🇧 xx

You offer great questions to ask ourselves, Susan. You really are brilliant. I definitely know what kind of guy I'm looking for, thank God. I have a few deal breakers (like cats and smoking), too. It's not easy to find an intelligent guy with a good sense of humor who's a Christian and close to my age, so I'm willing to wait a while. I accept that.

Great advice, Ty so much for sharing, lot's of love and light to you nasmaste,

Thank you soooooooo much Susan! XO Sara :)))

This is my story..I love you Susan❤️

Wow! Great topic to dissect.

It’s not my time. I fully accept this, but I still will recommend house parties(!) as the #1 place to meet peeps☺️. If it’s not my time then, it’s not. No babies likely now, but... will keep focusing on making my life better. Cheers.

Thank you for this video!! ❤

Susannn thhee best!!!!!! The real deal 💥🙏💥

.... this video spoke to me directly. .. Thank you.

Some people know what they want, but their friends (peers) can make remarks as they scrutinize the person's boyfriend or girlfriend. Women have their little gossip sessions when one dates a male. The dating female will ask her friends for advice and the gossip session will sabotage the relationship. It's true.

You are a very beautiful woman. My Friend Susan

Do you believe that we need to work on ourselves first in order to attract exactly the type of relationship that we need and want?

Such an interesting conservation.

Thanks for this advice.

A friend used to say this to me... she would quote that song The Rose to me she goes "You think that love is only for the lucky and the strong" and she was right.

I don't feel unlucky and never have. I feel as though I made choices and decisions based on what I knew and what I felt and how I felt about myself. ... it was all about my boundaries and the people I let into my life. It was nothing about luck really...

Standards that we uphold with authentic flavor- often negates possibilities. I feel that it intimidated other suitors, they would say- “ I’m not going to be able to make you happy, or feel that my life style is not what you would want” .. it’s so sad! So many are confused and unauthentic folks out there.

I had gut feeling that someone is bad but keep ignoring it, then that person hurt me..i should've trusted my mind more😶‍🌫️ so i consider this as a life lesson

I am at the stage where I just want to accept my fate and be happy with it. But it's hard. I'm tired of being hopefull.

Susan you are a gracefull lady

And those friends who found love...that may not reeeeaaallly be real love and it may not last. In fact, the odds are that they won't. I think about all the gorgeous, successful, and seemingly sane famous people (yes I'm sure a few are relatively sane 🤔😁) who are alone and unmarried or even unattached. I think of them going home to an empty home just like I do and It somehow makes me feel better about myself and my choice not to settle like most people do. It takes strength to wait for something real ❤

Such a beautiful dress 👗

Lost hope a long time ago...32 and only one relationship!!!!!! I’m so lost

thats nonsense. there really isnt any rule tho this. it really is about luck. a friend met her amazing husband while she was drunk and looked awful with teared stockings after a crazy night at a nightclub. she is far from attractive. any thoughts?

I've always felt that way. It's the norm with me.

Yeah, I always come off as the "party girl," so there's no hope for me. 🎉

Spot on!

I don't think anyone is "self actualized". People change. Situations change. But yet we hold on to our past.

Love it

I tell people around me that I want someone that is fun AND responsible...and they laugh at me and say that doesn't exist in the same person! And, I find that these men here, they consider doing something together regularly, say every other weekend or so -in the beginning stages of the relationship mind u- is frivolous and being childish! And I'm talking about simple things like going to the beach or the river that's quite close by. It's the most mind boggling thing to me! Am I wanting too much??? I feel cursed or like something is wrong with me!

Wooow Golden words 💛

I wonder if this can be applied to work too. I feel like I'm unlucky in landing the job or work situations I would ideally like.

A lot of times I feel maybe I keep lucking out because I have too many expectations. I'm looking for a respectful guy who treats me nice and respects me. I want to be physically attracted to him too but it isn't as big of a priority as it used to be. I don't like the dating apps because you are more apt to rule people out then if you were to meet them in person but I'm not having any luck meeting the right guy in person so I have to resort to the dating apps. I have the same question as another person asked and I'm wondering if I'm doomed? I really don't know if I'm going to have the same luck on all the dating apps. A person is so disposable on Tinder and you can just be replaced by someone else. It is a very superficial app! I love your video Susan! I've been told by a loved one of mine that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. She also said to me good luck finding a perfect person because nobody is perfect. She also told me not to lower my standards.

Great video as per usual! I ask myself this question often 🙈 but when I really think and be honest with myself I know a big part is the men I am attracted to. That’s my biggest problem. I may know 99 men wanting a relationship but I will be attracted to that 1 that doesn’t every time! I wouldn’t be attracted to the men my friends are, who are happily married and it’s soooo frustrating! Feel like I’m stuck in a dilemma of being single or in something toxic Vs being in a relationship with someone that I’ve “settled” for 😩😪

The people I know that found relationships, I feel they are settling and just tolerating their partner. I hear their complaints and I would never want to be in their situation. A lot of them found their SO's in highschool as well.

I am a guy who is so unlucky finding a girl. Even though i am a nice guy and funny. I'm also tall and good looking. i tried many times to have a relationship but nothing worked out. I live in a country where males are 70% . Many of the girls i met are either in a relationship or not interested in a relationship. I am now have a depression so much so i can't go to the job. Being alone is extremely bad. I tired to get to know some girls but some are too rude to the point they don't even like to get to know you when you approach them. Some foreigners like western girls are racists, they don't even like to get to know me cause i'm Arab. I don't feel valued at all. It's so depressing

I'm not feeling..I think I am unlucky..11 years of a relationship that didn't end well and I'm 5 years single after that.. totally alone and still nothing serious..I'm 40..I lose hope...My heart breaks day by day. ..💔😢

i can`t help think of George Michael`s song "I can`t make you love me if your heart will not-i think there is an element of luck to falling in love

Suzan ..thank you so much 😍😍😍

I am thinking this currently.

From now on I am lucky in love life ❤

Yep this is Me I feel the most unluckiest man in Australia 🇦🇺😩

I guess Chopra would say "When the girlfriend is ready the boyfriend will come."

I'm actually beginning to think that I'm some sort of a bridge to some girl who happens to have not been courted by a guy and then when I try to go up to that particular girl when I have no competition, some guy then just magically happens to court her and she chooses that guy. It's happened me to me 3 times already.

I'm 23and I'm unlucky in love and dealing with sexual frustration at times.

Thank you, Susan! :=(