That's why I don't try to state any qualifications I have. I'm just a dude who plays video games. This way I believe viewers can come to their own conclusions about my advice without the pressure of contesting an expert.
I'm not going to like this comment for reason, it's not true. Skyblock itself presents cool concept made inside very impressive video game. Yet alone person gives advices that might help alot of people just like you Keylime, and I don't know if youre cooked. Should actually cook something tasty.
LOL. You'll get free money.. you just won't get to decide how it's spent. Instead, you'll get a low quality free bed and low quality free food in a extremely low quality quarters LOL
a lot of introverts even after hearing good advice, they'll just be skeptical of it and not actually take action ... if that's you, i would recommend hanging out with people more, even if it's just family, and starting small. whatever you can do will slowly build momentum to improving your social skills as you witness more proof. the most successful people are good at "networking" with others and like he said at the end of the video, people don't have to be jail bars blocking u... they can be doors to opportunity, everyone you meet. everyone's special.
If you’re unsocial it’s because there’s something wrong with you mentally. And you’re the one who caused it. Whether it’s the thousands of hours saying inside playing video games, or the thousands of hours wasted scrolling on social media, or the thousands of hours in your room alone, you are the one who got yourself into this situation. Your own actions led you to being socially inept. It’s your fault. Do you want to know why that’s a great thing? It’s your fault, that means you control it. If you are social, it’s your fault. If you are unsocial, it’s your fault. This is not something you’re just born with. You become this person. Start self improvement, and you’ll see how drastically you change around people.
@@MasquedMocha I so get that! I have really blue eyes so I feel like I look soulless and inhuman when making dead straight eye contact with people haha
Sometimes my brain feels like it's being hunted and therefore must slap wheoeveroiks directly at me so I gotta keep in mind "dw brain. Humans look at each other directly in the eyes as a form of courtesy. It's normal despite it making no sense." Other times, I cant look at the eyes cuz I end up drawing them in my head and dissociate.
Dude, the first time i decided to share my hobby with others was so weird. I was genuinely nervous. My hobby is stop-motion making and specifically - brickfilms, and more specifically Halo and Star wars brickfilms. To top off that people already thought i was a little weird. Man, the people that reached out to me with praises and genuine interest. That was awesome! I felt incredible. So yeah, i totally agree with your advice here!
Along with the "being weird" point --- I think the good thing about "being weird" is _being open about what you like._ So, you don't have to be "weird", you just have to be honest about what you like and do instead of shying away because you're scared of seeming weird. It's more the _fear_ of being weird, rather than the _lack_ of it, which is the problem. Heck, people get bullied and teased for being "basic" all the time. If you just happen to be a basic sort of person, and you wear that with pride, that's just as good as being weird. It's all about honesty about yourself and having interesting stories which allows you to connect, not necessarily being weird in itself. Be an interesting person and show it. Mostly, just have hobbies instead of just consuming all the time. Also experiment with aesthetics and clothing, it's such an easy way to stand out and it's just really nice and interesting to dive into and experiment with imo.
I used to be really introverted and awkward, which was bad for me bc i really wanted to be good at conversations. It wasnt until a few years ago before highschool in a party i was forced to go that i realized *the point of talking to new people is to have fun.* You shouldnt go into a conversation thinking of it as this whole calculated task, but rather a fun experience u want to have. Now im great at making friends with pretty much anyone in school and its opened me to meeting so many interesting and fun people i would have never met before
Dude, I practiced some of this tips today, I didn't expect them to work almost instantly, like of course I'm not an extremely social person now but close people almost instantly started treating me different, not excluding me so often, I even drove one conversation around for a few minutes (and then of course I couldn't handle it so I had to let go but still), I'm looking forward to practicing my nearly inexistent social skills, but in the meantime thank you so much for the tips
this video was a real eye opener. for a while, i couldnt figure out why my conversations felt bland and awkward, but watching this entire video really explained why i felt the way that i did. best part is, usually i skim through the comments while watching videos, but this one was different. it was engaging, it was interesting, i watched the entire video without pausing and without scrolling the comments while listening to it. thank you so much for this video, itll really help me change my life for the better.
That's awesome to hear! For me too I always struggled talking to people, so I ended up reading a ton of books about it which helped me a lot. I'm really glad you found value from this video, thank you so much for watching :)
@@RoyaltyFruadulent “misanthrope” it is a word that means “a general dislike or hatred of people”. The word comes from the Greek prefix “mis” “dislike/hatred/disgust” and “anthopos” meaning “human/humanity/mankind” so misanthrope is a “hater of humanity” which would describe the original comment quite well. Note: my translations and transliterations of greek are not perfect. Edit: spelling correctio.
@@Treeman3 he pretty much just made content like dazzer (money making methods) and copied everyone else's content, and was just overall really hated because he was egotistical all the time
I find it really unfortunate that this video is not getting the recognition it deserves. I wish I had gotten it recommended a couple of years ago, it would have helped me so much. Seriously, a hidden gem of a video. Please continue making these, they're awesome :)
I have never tried to hide what makes me weird, but unfortunately that does not help me in my situation. I love biology! I respect and care for all kinds of life! That is one of the things people actively hate me for. The majority of people in my school find it disgusting and actively harass me for *not* being afraid of bugs, rats, and reptiles. It is incredibly annoying, but it shouldn't be a problem forever.
yo thats sick! i mean.. i dont get how they harass you for liking them.. no offense, something is off, maybe try self instropection.. im genuinely asking.. is there actually no life forms that you despise..? like flies(?) also how can i tame a random bird lol
a lot of times when I find myself stuck in a conversation and don't know how to continue, I'll just state my current feelings or thoughts. like somebody will say something and I'll hesitate and go "well I was trying to think of something clever to say but nothing came to mind. seems you've outwitted me this time" because while it acknowledges the awkwardness, it also gives me a chance to display my humor and make the conversation less forced
That's also a great strategy! I think just being honest with people and being a bit more open really builds trust and respect for you in the other person.
@@Hotslicer glad you brought that up, and that is why honesty has been a consistent philosophy of mine for a long time. I'm a bit of a pragmatist, and being honest is just a great way for me to be extremely efficient. miscommunication happens far less often, people trust and respect you, and it reduces the sense of distance in general communication. the fact that it's just the right thing to do is just the icing on the cake. anyway great video and very helpful advice! I am an introvert who was homeschooled, so this would have been great to have when I was younger, but I like to think I turned out okay lol
@@SirPogsalotCreates the way you used "while" made it seem to me like you thought good things came inspite of acknowledging the awkwardness. My english might just be flawed tho, im not a native speaker
Unless you intend to fake your whole being at a first glance to appeal to others; just try to be yourself. People have to like you and approach you for who you are. And if you are a socially anxious mess like me, then take pride on it! Embrace it! That's the only way you will ever find people who you can feel really comfortable with
One thing that struck me watching this video is that your weaknesses become your greatest strengths *because* you have to struggle with it. A lot of people go about their day to day not having to think about how they interact with others. For individuals with social anxiety, *knowing* how to interact with others makes you better at it day by day. And the anxiety part might stick around for a while, but anxiety is a survival response, you can show your body that surviving does mean going through an uncomfortable situation.
I love being silly and goofy, I make these silly stories on instagram about everything and anything and when i go out some people i barely know come up to me and are like "i love your stories, I'm your biggest fan". When I pass the middle school I used to go to there are a bunch of kids screaming my instagram username. I got confirmation that they are just making fun of me and they think I'm an NPC, but I feel like the main character when they are giving me all that attention, they are not hurting me in any way.
I almost complete my college study, at the first semester, it was so hard for me to interact with people but then i took the courage to actually throw myself in some situation and surprisingly, it was so easy to make friends. I noticed that things are not the same with highschool, people actually genuinely kind to you and they're usually so persuasive to you so you have to act the same way. In my introverted opinion, it's alot easier when we're a bit older so don't sweat it guys, just be yourself and always be kind. All edgy stuff at highschool might get all the attention now but later in life they are worthless
Also remember people love to hear themselves talk so the more questions you ask directed towards them the easier the conversation will be and the more they’ll actually enjoy the conversation
I was waiting for you to go into more detail about that study you mention at around 1:20. Based on what you said about the study, that sounds like a seriously flawed way to test their hypothesis. edit: about 3 minutes in now. This is damaging to many people with autism. I tend to not use absolutes, but in this case, an absolute is applicable. edit2: good posture is good. Shoulders wide? I'm not sure you attempted that before saying it. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting what you are saying. edit3: About accurately memorizing a speech, I havent heard that strategy before. That's a pretty cool strategy! edit4: Being more convincing without actually making a better argument than that was implied sounds a lot like manipulation through rhetoric. I mean this in a negative way. edit5: I like segment 6. Especially from 15:30. edit6: considering how the tone of a message can be pretty important. I still find that pretty difficult at times. Wow. First sentence of 8 is a huge red flag. edit7: Im starting to think I shouldn't have numbered the edits. The overall ider of number 8 is good; to consider stuff from the perspective of others. But the method you detail sounds highly manipulative. That last part was interesting. Why one should bother learning social skills is a point that is often overlooked. It was a little vague, but thats still more thought than people normally give that question. My frame of reference is a bit limited on that. edit8: I am back roughly 40 minutes after finishing the video. I think you mentioned the idea of "winning any argument" once or twice at different points in the video. Someone should not win an argument unless their points are good. (It is a little more complicated than that, like when emotions and rhetoric ability are parts of it) The primary goal of an argument should be to have the best conclusion on the subject of the argument at the end. "best" being relative to the possible conclusions, not relative to the other participants in the argument. (and what the best conclusion is can be subjective.)
fr if i dont have my shades on i cant speak to ppl.... the only other way to massk it is to hold a fake smile the entire convo but now i aint even wanna do allat anymore 😭
You don't need to hold eye contact just don't look around like you wan't to stop talking with the other person. Look at her/his face when he/him is talking. That's it...
Actually same. not that severe, but its helpful to look between their brows. or even switch which eye you are looking at to keep my eyes focused. Good luck, buddy!
That's definitely true. I think if something you do authentically represents your identity and personally then share it, but if something clearly is negatively affecting your perception, maybe find a more supportive friend circle or hold off on sharing immediately.
Oh my God they gotta get you on a tedtalk!! Usually when I find videos like this, I scroll away because they often have a super stiff and 'official' air to them. This one felt different (almost conversational, very cozy!) and I'm really glad I stuck around for the whole thing. I'm going to try employing some of these tactics in the near future, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!! C:
For me it depends. Around some ppl I’m shy but others who I trust more I just act like myself and I find I’m way more charismatic and ppl actually find me funny when with others I just stay silent. I also find it way easier to talk to a crowd than some ppl like in front of some ppl I’ll be anxious but for some reason I’m rlly good at public speaking and can just say whatever the fuck I want and suddenly the ppl who I’m anxious about completely change how they see me for that time I’m in front of everyone.
I would add a bonus tip that I'm really struggling with at the moment: don't worry too much about the outcome. For example you think you have to say the perfect thing or they'll have a negative idea of you... Just talk about what you feel like talking, either it's good or bad. That means you're being REAL. If you worry about the outcome you'll never have a quality conversation.
I just found this video. It helped me a ton because I just met this girl and I honestly didn’t know how to act around her this video helped me a lot thanks
I can confirm the typing one!! :3 A while ago me and some online friends were quite,, well-known on a small social app (it doesn't exist anymore, though), and so we all had haters, but I was the only one out of them who was polite to everyone, had proper spelling and used nice emojis all the time, and I was also the only one who never got targeted or cancelled!! I don't even remember getting blocked!! :33 Being nice online and coming off as friendly goes a long way!!
No problem! I recommend committing to the posture-correction exercise every time you walk through a door. For every door, there is now an apple on the doorframe you need to bite before entering the room. This helped me fix my posture. Let me know how it goes and thank you for watching! :)
I really the eye contact thing when I was younger because I've seen better reactions from people when looking at them directly in the eyes, after a while of doing it I started noticing that people who didn't look at me back were perceived by me as a little insecure or shy, so I started doing it from that point without really thinking about it... The point of this whole thing is that once your brain learns it you're on autopilot, try it out guys it works. 😊
this video was really helpful. some of these things i was thinking about trying, but this has really given me more confidence to reach out to others. thank you for the tips!!
Lord, I've read that very same book ( how to talk to anyone). It's rather comical how introverted, awkward people have to study so hard to get to a basic social skill level and become something that resembles a normal human being, and, because of that, we end up consuming the same resources shared in these bubbles that socially challenged fellows create. I've read that book, yet here I am clicking on a video about the same relatable old problem again.
I was antisocial because I could not let go of injustice/unfairness. I was quick to anger and deal equalising punishment. Someone was better at something than me, I got Jealous because they had unfair talents that I never got. I had to make them feel bad for it, by invalidating their problems. Nobody deserved help or validation, becuase it was unfair to all the people that were denied the same thing. If you want to become social, you have to learn how to forgive (not excuse). forgiveness is fundamentally unfair because you deserve punishment but it gets dropped because you got lucky when it was forgiven for no reason.
funny thing is i learned how to do all this and got really good at it (and still am), but now im legit scared to leave my house. and not even as a joke-im in here 2 to 3 weeks at a time... only leave to take out the trash, but never futher than the fence. sometimes i dont even wanna go to the store so i buy in bulk when i do go. i seldom enjoy the few days I do go out cause something negative always happens. and my mind is so loud that i hyperfixate on that negative moment, which in turn re-inforces the cycle. been losing touch w a lot of good people because of this. anyways going on a trip next week and i really hope i dont cancel the day before
Its kinda messed up and sad how the way to break social anxiety is basically to veer around your autism traits as well. Or rather, to be social is to be human, and yet my autism traits make it hard for me to relate to people in the first place.
For point 4, I read in a book once that it is better to never memorize your speeches. It will always come out as autonomous. it is better if we ourself think of speeches as a normal conversation like we are helping the audience. Also great video i will surely implement this to my daily life thx for the tips :D I feel like the world need more videos like this lots of people are having social problems (edit).
I feel like this video is more for people with social anxiety or are socially awkward. Being a true introvert means you dislike social interaction even if you have no problems talking to people.
Yo I got into this video just to write this in case someone needs this. I used to be the most awkward kid of all time. People used to be scared of me back in middle/primary school, had no hobbies or social skills and was chronically online. I was with a 100% surety lower than you. You may feel stupid or less of a human being for being watching a video abt being introvert or something but I'm sure I was more awkward and pathetic than you. My point is that I found my place, I found a sport made for me and created a network of friends that are actually like me and I can totally be 100% like myself with them. The persona you are creating online is actually interesting for people out there, your hobbies, the games you've played, the animes you've watched, you probably won't trust me but that can be interesting conversation topics with the right people. You probably don't know how it feels to talk to someone without double thinking what you say, like there a people out there that you can talk to without being self conscious of being weird or saying something stupid, like you can say the first thing that comes to mind around them; that sensation releases a knot in your chest trust me it's impossible to describe it you have to find people like you and ban dumb people from your life. Also that environment and sport helped me grow as a human being, but not all of that self development typa shitty growth, actual growth. Now I can talk to girls like the actual human being that they are rather than treating them like a fucking dark souls fight were I'm self conscious about every move, I can do the stuff that you guys probably take from granted and your parents do like cooking, cleaning and buy stuff for yourself, and be myself like actually being myself like I can actually say the first thing that comes to mind isn't that crazy. I'm still an introvert, I'm selective with my people, but all that time alone in the internet talking to myself and making inner jokes cooked one of the funniest and most spontaneous guys I know in this earth which is me. And thats something my friends see too and that's why they stick around
Damn… I thought I’d just watch the first minute or so “I probably heard all of this before” I thought to myself. And most of it, I have. But something about this video kept me till the end. Great work. Great job.
Guys the presentation and because tips work. I have written these two lines in the past 2 years to my teacher: case 1. Good evening, will the score increase for the code and note sent? - Success. Answered: Fine case 2. Good afternoon! I think I answered well on the exam, can I get 90? (was 87) Success - Answered: Good afternoon, I think I already put it, well, okay, I'll try to fix it 😇 It doesn't have to be explicitly said "because", main thing is to provide the reason
Thanks for the Video man you don't know how much I this has helped me. As an introvert talking to people is not but your tips and tricks have really been helpful so thank you ❤
I do this triple threat method a lot but my problem is I stutter a lot because of not speaking that much, turns out reading books out loud helps on tuning your vocabulary and voice, making you sound confident.
idk about the eye contact thing, i was told not to stare into a corner with dead eyes bc apparently, this creeped my hairdresser out one time but ALSO i’m afraid to look a human in the eyes or on their chest bc i’m pretty prone to zoning out and looking into nowhere, and even though i never got called out for accidentally staring at someone, i still avoid looking at anyone who i can’t fully trust. and i just hate the feeling of being stared at to the point of anxiety :P so i try to keep my eyes “alive” and just look anywhere but not the person talking’s face
I use all of these, but not to much cause they sound cheesy plus it makes me feel manipulative. And I'll be honest learning how to make video's, helped me know how to manipulate by accident. Also W video a lot of people need this keep up! One other thing is some of the last things I don't always talk about, it kind of depends.
Something about number 10, when I would first introduce myself, I would things like "My favorite show is this and I like playing this game" other people would make fun of me saying stuff like "Oh, that's such a stupid show, why would you ever watch that?" And because of that, for the longest time, I left that part out. I eventually stopped leaving it out and this video helped me remember why, so thanks for just making this video in general. :)
Watched each point, and honestly a lot of it seems really valid overall, like stuff I have used or could use. The first impression, conversation runners, and direct interaction techniques you talked about I can confirm as useful, from personal experience, and the essay bit makes a lot of sense and is something I might try. There was one thing I think that don’t works in every situation, though, number 10. I’m a train nerd, a Minecraft and Roblox player, a Jew, a pianist, and any number of other things, and people did not take any of these qualities as interesting when I went to school. My “thing” was always something that acted as a wall rather than a window. Granted, I wasn’t always confident enough to talk to other people, and I didn’t have the techniques to carry on the conversations, but overall being weird only works if you’re with people who would accept it. There are those, like in clubs dedicated to my hobbies or identity that accept it more willingly, and so in those cases it works out. In the modern day too, I just have more things to talk about with other people, which makes things easier. Overall, though, what makes you unique can still be a detriment if you use it with those who don’t appreciate it and I think that’s something worth saying. There are people who will, but they aren’t always in the vicinity, so keep trying until you find’em.
Yes! Just keep trying. Honestly if people make fun of you for your interests or your religion they are likely not good people to interact with anyway. I have found that being myself acts like a filter for toxic people, and helped me find a great circle of supportive friends.
One time I was in school in eastern Europe and we had that one guy who had to repeat the year, he seemed to be one of those bad guys, he was the black sheep. He was older than us and he usualy got into trouble with other teenagers who made fun of him, but he really wasn't stupid, being ok during the classes. I was the only one that was kind to him, and he allways has been respectfull to me, it might be one of the best strangers to meet despite his aparence. We almost never had a real conversation, and I never had to, I have a cold soul. The true key of respect isn't to be that kind of party person, is to be the righteous one, respectfull and allways telling the truth without caring if it's rough. Neutrality is power !
This is very helpful. As an introvert, Ive always felt like something's wrong when I'm talking to people. This provided me a shift of perspective about communication and realizations. I've realized that when I give out suggestions or convince someone, I don't talk about how it will benefit in "his/her case". Also yeah I rarely do emojis because I gotta admit it's cringe to overuse it, but it also sounds emotionless without emojis. So atleast I'll use them more often, the non-emoji ones. Thanks for the insight :)
7:12 "Oh idk lmao I don't really remember that much" "hahahah okay so not much of a school person huh?" "hahah nah dude" "hahah nice so what do you like doing?" "idk dude.. just.. chillin I guess" "oh nice" "yeah" "yeah"
This video came out at just the right time for me. In fact, I'm trying to have a conversation on Instagram with a girl I like (and who lives a long way from me) that I met on holiday. We'll see if this video can help me as an introvert.
I feel like my biggest problem with socializing is that I feel anxiety when talking to people I don't spend a lot of time with. I'm not even that uncomfortable with presenting, and I just look back at the presentation a lot. That might make me look bad but I have like zero self-awareness due to my autism and lack of social interaction.
I used to also have anxiety talking to new people. A helpful tip is to practice talking to yourself in the mirror. Or talking to new people online. I have found that this makes you get more used to conversations in a more controlled environment. Another helpful tip if you want to talk to someone but are feeling anxious: Imagine that person getting up right now, coming over to you, and starting to talk to you. How would you feel? Would you be mad or annoyed? Hopefully not, and that is just how that person will feel when you talk to them! Try it out. Regardless, thank you for watching, let me know how it goes.
For me I used to not have a stutter but ever since the pandemic ive been stuck with my self on my room not much to do besides use my phone so i found this yt channel that reads fanfiction so i got invested in multiple but I'm easily bored so and i wanted to finish them fast so i turned the speed to 2x now i subconsciously try to replicate the speed of the talking and now i have a stutter. After developing the stutter i constantly have trouble communicating. And now Im currently trying to fix it by talking to my self in the bathroom and trying to explain the lessons we have in math currently ive noticed that when i move my hands around i talk slower
I think that’s a good filter for people to avoid. If they gossip about other people when speaking to you, they gossip about YOU when speaking to other people.
Tip 9 was the best thing I did for myself when I was in middle school. My friends kinda forced me to accept it properly and learn to say no to things I dont want to i could never say no to people
