I was outgoing as a child, I felt free, happy and in-control, but when high school started everything changed, I developed social anxiety and insecurities, this caused me to have no friends and become a loner. I could never forget the the suffering as it was the worst part of my life. I graduated high school 2 years ago and glad that its finally over, I'm becoming more confident and the people at college are welcoming and easy to get along with.
Same here brother, I was EXACTLY the same. I have a few close friends though which I have very grateful to have. Keep going brother, be the best you and you'll attract the best out of others ❤
Its the same for me currently in highschool and never ever felt worse than here, i cant wait to graduate and meet new people. In highschool i feel like every single person (with exceptions of course) are just fake AF and talk behind your back 🤷🏼♂️
I was always a pretty shy kid, and I'd say I started developing anxiety as early as 3rd grade or around 8 years old after getting kind of branded as the weird kid. Looking back, it was probably undiagnosed autism. I think my kindergarten teacher actually said something about it, but my parents refused to listen to her. In retrospect, I'd say the symptoms were very obvious. I remember most of my k-12 experience being a constant stream of being picked on and bullied, and teachers never doing anything about it. They were certainly quick to act when I was doing it, but nobody ever seemed to stand up for me. It's hard to develop confidence and self-love when most people in your life seem to attack you on a daily basis, and the adults who should do something about it rarely, if ever, did. I mean, I'm 29, and I feel like most of my 20s have basically been me trying to play catch up on development most people had completed a long time ago.
Third one I can relate with the most, i started exercising and did skin care and was starting to see results and was gaining more confidence but at some point stopped and i feel like I am losing confidence, definitely gotta pull myself together now
I can confirm that your level of insecurities DRASTICALLY changes your quality of speech, I’m a high schooler, so I talk to people every day, and I’m often given compliments on my public speaking skills, but any day that I feel my hair looks funny, I have a cough, or my shirt has something wrong with it, it ALL goes down the drain 😂. My ability to explain things drops off a cliff, even though it really shouldn’t. Just remember everyone, YOU are your biggest critic, so just don’t be so hard on yourself and that alone will make you much more confident.
@@Zavouk Haha thanks, sadly I’d say most of the time I’m anything but suave, but if you just try to be funny and just connect with people, you’ll do well 😁!
You want advice? Get up from the bed, get out of the house and start training, confidence will come from itself and with it everything that you ever wanted
@@nicolae-alexandruluca7853 Funny thing. I actually do go to the gym lol and it has helped. I even matched with a girl about a week ago and convo has been going good
Another tip is to understand that when you talk to someone they are not gonna judge you on what your saying and even if they do they will forget in minutes. This applies to many other actions you make and it will help with some of that social anxiety.
Do you ever go to a party and wake up in the morning feeling bad about a way you acted that seems embarassing in reprospect? A question that was kind of stupid or something you had to ask twice or forgot about someone. Maybe a moment when you got anxious while dancing? Well noone fucking noticed. And even if they are also too much in their own head that they wont remember it anyways.
Recap Core idea: anxiety creates blockage to communication 1) When meeting someone new, try to share and connect your hobbies, passions, life style, etc with them instead of just trying to attract them 2) Read books 30-60 minutes a day to improve vocabulary, you need to know a base number of words to express yourself clearly 3) Improve your appearance and health, it makes you confident and people will want to talk with you naturally 4) Talk to yourself on camera 10 minutes a day, make videos on things you're interested in or to share your knowledge
I feel you bro, I feel like sometimes when I don't add heaps of edits to my vids that people won't enjoy them, but funny enough the videos that I spend the least amount of time on - people enjoy them the most 😂
Hey ! If you enjoyed these types of videos, there is a youtube channel called jetavanaramaya buddhist monastery and it's about a Buddhist monk who has a whiteboard like this and he speaks about super cool stuff and life improvement! I really enjoy that channel, and i think you would too if you like these types of simple content, one downside is the videos are long about 2 hours, but they're super interesting and they help me learn so much about life. Thank you
1. Intention must be not to validate yourself 2. Books to improve vocabulary 3. Improving looks to improve confidence 4. Speaking on camera Thanks for this exciting inspired video!
People ask me all the time how do you know so much, why are you smart, who taught you how to speak, etc. They assume it’s because I went to a fancy university and got a fancy degree, which is true, but has nothing to do with my knowledge or ability to clearly articulate ideas and concepts. The truth is that everything I know and all of my abilities are from reading books. If you want to be smart, read books, if you want to expand your cognitive capacity, read books, if you want to communicate articulately, in clear and concise verbiage, then read books. If you hate reading then start small, just spend 15 minutes a day, every day, and read something that you know you will enjoy. Do you prefer fantasy, sci-fi, or romance? Then pick up one of the many great novels written for that genre. If you do it every day you will eventually get to the point where it is no longer a chore and you will breeze through those 15 minutes and be hungry for more.
In elementary school I got "bullied" for my looks, these days people compliment me and say I look good, but still I can't leave what happend back then and it always haunts me. No matter how many compliments I get my confidence just stays the same because I doubt if they are even real. Great video, thanks
I feel that,I used to get called ,,Autist,, ,,Retarded,, and other bad things just because Im too calm(Im fighting myself to not lose my control because of anger).I have zero confidence and when I try to talk I remember these horible moments when everyone was against me while I was trying to talk. All I wanted was peace and all I got was suffering.
Sounds to me as if there could be guilt involved. For example when kids only get rejection from their parents when they talk to them or want something from them, want to show them sth etc. basically what happens is that just for being themselves - they develop "false guilt" for having a personality that has own interests. Because the parents only punished them for their individuality - later in life every time when this urge arises to express themselves from the bottom of their hearts they partly feel like crap. That is the false guilt for being alive and vibrant and strong, having own interests or being confident. So they cant live their lives fully and they might not think that they are unwothy of a good life but because of how the parents conditioned their nerveous system, they will often have this unconscious drive to put themselves down. Maybe that is what happens to you. Just make sure you would wish every person alive to be confident and happy with themselves and to go out strong and good looking and allow yourself too.
"Your intention creates your type of tension" I felt this one REALLY, i never wanted to connect with people Ever, because i always liked to be alone , but i forced myself to do so So i can develop good social skills and be successful...
Same bro, looking back at the interactions I had with people I can now say that I was focusing too much on my feelings and my well-being ignoring other people's emotions
I really appreciate your video. I am a visual leaner, so i really like this style of yours. Unfortunately, I can't relate much, cuz my blockage is on the genetic level. I am on the spectrum and while those advices can "correct" the issues, they don't necessarily remove it down to the root. I still appreciate your work tho, you can't help me a lot, but you can change others.I am Not thinking of myself as some insignificant little brat, even though my style might seem like it, it just hurts to realize that i will be falling behind, even if it's just one small step in every day live. But hey, still trying to embrace my strengths, recently found gf, and got accepted to uni, so life isn't that bad, still trying to watch your channel, simply because it makes me calm down and just chill even though they don't help much. I am really grateful to be living on the same planet with you.
You're a legend man, you did not need to do this but it says so much about your character. Keep being the best you every single day, everyone gets a stack of cards at the start of life, some are at a disadvantage but if you're strategic enough you can win the game. Put trust in that brother 👊❤
May allah heal you and guide your heart to Islam. That's the best prayer I can give someone. You look like a really good person. I'm sorry about your autism I know it's really hard.
please never lose your integrity. sure, don’t be afraid to monetize, you deserve to. but i pray you do so ethically & morally. your content is truly helpful, and unlike most creators, ive failed to find the “catch”. no link in your descriptions or your youtube bio promoting a course, or paid mentorship taking advantage of vulnerable people. it makes me truly happy to see.
I have read one book in my entire life and honestly it's not always books that are the root of improving yourself in every way possible but listening to others especially cult people, the kind of peoe who have lived through constant learning and improving themselves to be the best they can be
@@nicolae-alexandruluca7853Nah bro all it takes is one good book to change your life and i’ll forever stand by that. Check out Lonesome Dove or 11/22/63, reading in school sucks and that’s coming from an avid reader. Reading for enjoyment outside of school is a completely different thing, just trust me man I have no reason to tell you BS.
7:54 "Ten minutes per day, five minutes per day, sit in the chair and just yap at the camera." This is exactly what I did when Philippines went into lockdown. Being bored, I picked up an old microphone and plugged it into my computer. A year later, my voice has improved so much that I've been scouted for local radio stations. Trust me, the first few recordings will make you feel embarrassed. Like "OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT" type of feels. I have some of my old recordings still with me (I believe?), last time I took time to listen it made me cringe so much.
Yeah ahah I used to hate my voice on camera, but now I don’t even notice a difference. I think it’s more of a placebo issue. Definitely the most effective thing I have done to improve my speaking that’s for sure
@@JakPiggottThis is exactly what happened to me actually because my school asked us to make regular voice memos, or just something to record the day or the last 12 hours. I used to think it was stupid that they told us to do this, but I realise why they did now.
Jak. You probably won’t see this but I feel pressured to leave this comment anyways. So I can at least say I tried. I need help. I’m addicted to… corn… and anytime I think I’m getting better I fall back into the same habits. I hate myself also. I’m ugly, I hate the way I talk to people, my confidence is in the negatives, I’m stupid, I’m starting college pretty soon and I feel like I have no control. I feel like I’m a spectator of my own freaking life… more than anything I want someone that I can make happy. But talking to girls terrifies me. I have someone right now that I kind of like, and have made some conversation with. I’m sure she’s just being nice though, and even the idea of approaching her and talking to her terrifies me. I could go on and on for hours typing this comment but I’ll just stop there. I basically have no idea what to do, and I’m tired of life. I’m not sure why I’m even making this comment but at least I’m making some kind of effort.
I'm no far off, but you must keep in mind that miracles are just consequences, but unanticipated. There has to be effort to turn things into something you want. Now ofc there's some things you can't do anything about, so just dig your path around them and believe that you can change the other ones. I believe in you and since you have made this comment, might as well consider it a little piece of "something which reminds me of the need to change" sorta thing. Really hope it gets better
@@mikeydotexe thanks man, I agree with you, and I have a strong desire to make changes in my life. But I can’t seem to actually do it. Sometimes I’ll start living me positivity but then every time I make progress, I get screwed over by my addiction and am back at square one. I just feel trapped. I think my only way out is to talk to someone I know, but I feel like there’s an equal chance of me getting better on my own, then there is me actually talking to someone. I just can’t do that lol.
Set a base for your freedom like- tell yourself everyday that you love yourself and you won’t go back, something like that. If you find yourself finding corn to be a escape from reality then play video games or hang out with friends or something that takes your mind off everything. And mate there’s always a tomorrow so try your best, tell yourself your free. It will get better.
The moment about connecting with people instead of aiming for validation from them - teared me up. I realised that that's my main problem, because of my insecurities and mental problems, i often look at people as a source of validation, which is obviously repulsive. Im gonna work on that, thanks man.
Hey jack i know you're not going to see this but i just wanted to let you know that you've changed my life completely man. You have one of the most unique and best advices ive heard and i'm just so grateful that i found you bro. Keep up the good stuff man. Much love from Sydney ❤
Basically the 2 things you need to improve your communication 1. Confidence 2. Language Skills To improve your confidence, you should improve your skills at certain tasks, improve your appearance, get more fit and start working out To improve your language sklils, you should read more books, and practice your english/whatever language you're speaking. Try to socialize a bit more as talking to more people will naturally improve your vocabulary skills
Dude if only i could have met you earlier , you aint even directly talkin to ne but yet you are still a better friend that almost all the people ive met so far
brooo , i am the main speaker in an upcming event in my school and my partner is female classmate of mine that i have never spoken too , wish me luck bro
I absolutely love this video. The captioned captivated me, my attention was fully hooked, and I like how you're straight to the point but amusing by incorporating your own stories into the topic. It's not like any other bs RU-vid advices. This deserves a subscribe.
I totally sympathize with the logic in this video. I talk with a few of my best friends and I have trouble speaking at times, and the reasons contributing to this video shows exactly why. Thank you!
I have always had a lot of anxiety issues. I always think what people will think of me if I speak. I never even comment on videos because I think people will judge me even if they don't know me. This video really gives me courage to improve myself. I thank RU-vid for recommending this video.
Wow that really sound helpful Quick summary: 1.the intention (to connect not to attract) 2.read more 3.look after your appearance(clothes, skin, hair...etc) 4(most important).talk to a camera(even if it's a few minutes per day)
don't ever, EVER, care what you think other people will think. never let others push you around, and don't mold to others desires. be yourself, and you won't have to suffer through any anxiety about playing a fake persona
Jak, thank you for sharing your advice and perspective! I've also noticed that you often share your experiences and acknowledge both your weaknesses and what you are capable of with confidence, which is useful when communicating. "Self-confidence" is the reason you can talk to people in the first place. Once you let go of anxiety, you'll be surprised at how many things you can say that you would never normally think of.
Thank you, Jak. You dont know how much you have helped me in the past 4 months. I am happier. I am more concentrated and productive. You are a blessing. Keep doing what you do.
This video helped me a lot, I was afraid to speak out because I feared my voice cracking or stuttering, after noticing this I’ve thought how it’s a natural reaction and there’s no reason to be ashamed. Since last week I spoke to my family and friends more openly, and let out my fun Inner personality.
I don't usually watch youtube videos but this time I was suggested with your video and after watching whole video, my 8mins were worth spending. Thank you for this! You have earned my like and subscribe!
Thank you, bro. I've been struggling with communication as I am growing up. As a girly who is very insecure with her looks and speaking skills, I want to change all over the years. This video is a perfect timing for me to see.
As an individual 4 years your senior, it brings me peace to know some people in our generation do have wisdom to share. Some days, we feel trapped and exhausted, and life seems to trip us up. Your words inspire me to do better, to feel better.
I've watched many of your videos bro I'm 17 now, and everything you say, is pure gold, and very valuable for the coming generation (including me) Never stop making these bro
1.connect to other people instead of attracting. 2.read books to improve your communicative abilities by increasing the vocabulary 3.increase your overall confidence by recording how you speak and build confidence by forming some healthy habits and improve your overall appearance to look more attractive
dont let it keep you from talking to people ı know ıt sounds hard but dont stop communıcatıng . you can read books out loud as an exercise while alone. ıt helped me so much ın thıs matter. your speech wıll ımprove as you grow up ıt usually does. just dont give up and never let ıt stop you from communıcatıng
Since childhood i have high social anxiety. I always think so low of me like i am ugly i am not good at anything. I seriously tried everything to be a good person (like talking to the mirror, tried to love myself) but as soon as i step out of my house or i am around more than 2-3 people my anxiety kicks in and because of that i always want to stay in my room . People make fun of my social anxiety, my low confidence so i don't want to face them. Sometimes i think that i don't belong in this society because i am not worthy i am so shy that i can't even show my dance performance which i prepared to my parents let alone i will dance i on the stage
Thank you for this, such a reminder to never stop talking into a camera. I've been developing my communication and I am the speaker of the month for a long time. I can say your videos is also showing how I got better. Well done video.
@@JakPiggott Bro, you can do something about the topics regarding social skills or issues in socializing, how to make proper executable plans for your goals and daily routines, mobile phone addiction, increasing focus and concentration, discipline, workout and health tips (congrats on those gains bro), developing good habits, being more optimistic etc This is what I can think of now (as I face these). And man sorry for late reply, I was being practically being suffocated by my school.
Except that none of these are the problems, i just simply dont know what to say useally and then it ends up being silent. And when something comes up in my mind, its useally not interesting or kinda stupid or weird
I'm 25 years old and I've been watching these type of videos since I was 15. I'm not criticising the uploader or this channel, he's trying to help people. but I guarantee you, atleast 90% of the people watch these videos don't get up actually being a good communicator or less anxious. it's mostly part of our genes, how are grew up etc. at my age, my anxiety has almost gone and I'm a much better socialized person but it never happen just cause I watched these videos and tried to follow what they say cause it never works in the long run. it's a matter of living long enough to understand life itself and naturally being less shy anxious and being more social. for some people it might take only an year for some even 20 years. it's not something we can entirely be certain on. that is the truth mate
You don’t have to look good to get the benefits of confidence. the whole point is that bettering your looks can bring you some confidence as it betters your mental image of yourself. if you are solid in how you feel of your mental image, and you have that confidence, own your downsides, own your upsides, you will get better with communication. Don’t just try and find a way to look better, find your identity, and find confidence in who you are
Looks are temporary anyway. Don’t let other people’s perception of you hold you back. If you’re have a strong perception of yourself and you values then nothing can hold you back.
I've been watching your content for a while now, and it's probably the best I could ever come across, your videos make me feel better about myself and overall cured my insecurities, you changed my life You're one of the most relatable and mature RU-vidrs out there for me, I had always looked up to you as a role model, keep up the good work 💯
You can try by cutting down on the time you would spend on social media. If you’re serious, don’t use TikTok, IG Reels, or YT Shorts. Watching too much short form content is basically the worst thing you could do in this case. Next, you should probably read regularly, start light and pick something that you will like.
I feel like the music was a great choice i nthis video.I hav adhd so its really hard to hold me entertaint but the music really got me and is a big point why i was actually able to listen to what you were saying without getting distracted too much. Much love
