I used to be in social work in Florida and it's very easy to get through a home study. We absolutely don't care if the house is spotless. We just need it safe. Cover the plugs, lock up the meds and weapons, lock up the pool, and have food in the house. We are there to help! Ask for what you think you need :)
I completely agree but we have to pay for the child’s temporary house/shelter, all the social workers looking after them etc It’s sad though how the money spent on adopting the child could’ve gone towards school fees, holidays, clothes and food
Hi all think of how much you pay when being pregnant to having baby in the hospital. The vitamin, checkup, doctors visits, scans. When I adopted my girls the cost of a natural birth , just the birth in the hospital with the doctors etc. Was the cost of one of my adoptions. I am in south Africa my 1st adoption was in 2012 and cost with medical test blood xrays and the psychologist test all in all was r25k a friends hospital delivery was just under r30k. The dollar to rand exchange rate in general is 14 rands to dollar. So I do not see the cost being a problem. I would have had to pay it if I had my own and the funds to my adoption agency goes to the kids and the running of the homes or as south Africa call them places of safety. And Americans can adopt children from south Africa both married, single, lbgt as long as you are cleared you get matched to a child.
My son said to the social worker, “I can’t wait to buy my kids!” I cringed but he was trying to relay that when we were fully funded, we would be able to travel to pick them up. He also said he wanted to teach them (sibling set) how to pray and share his toys with them. We made it through it and got an approval 😉
I’m only 20 and barely have my life together lol but I’m always drawn to your videos when shining light on adoption, the impact of it and process etc.... I can’t explain why though! These videos are always a time for me to reflect on my heart and what my future could look like considering adopting a child that needs a welcoming home. Thanks for making these sort of videos to not only people who know they want to adopt and help people in the process of adoption but to inspire people, like me, to consider adoption in the future. I don’t think you understand how many eyes you are opening to consider adoption as a real possibility for people who knew little or nothing about adoption before your videos. I hope you have a wonderful day and many blessings to you and your family!!
My husband of 11 years and I are like financial minimalists, we strongly believe that money comes and goes but once time passes you can't get it back. And we really love each other and spending time with people we care about so we've always worked toward financial stability with that in mind. So we saved money by building our own small house and drove crappy cars until we could buy a nice one outright. We never had children because we felt there's a bigger picture. We are more interested in being foster parents and possibly adopting. When we felt ready we looked into it and decided to take the class. One of the first questions we asked, and we asked multiple times, was how much money do you have to make to be foster parents? Multiple people told us there's no income bracket, as long as you can afford your bills and keep the child safe and loved you can be foster parents because "it's not about money". We drove out of town for the class for six weeks straight and did all the homework, etc. We even paid to have an extra bedroom added to our house. We told my husband's parents our plans of course and they spread the word through the entire family. At the end we were excited to have completed the class. It painted us an image of what to expect and we were really envisioning it as what would soon be our reality. I started planning the bedroom, looking for furniture to add and getting my house ready. We got our certificates and put everything neatly in a binder for the homestudy. The next thing we did was call to request the homestudy, but before they could schedule a homestudy they needed to go over our financial information. We happily gave our information including that fact that we had a couple thousand dollars in a savings account and explained that we'd have a lot of free time to get to know the child(ren) and really take advantage of and enjoy our time with them. Unfortunately they didn't like that our income just covered our expenses after all. It turned out that they wanted to see much more of an excess of income, even though everyone had told us there was no income standard as long as we can pay our bills. My husband tried to explain our philosophy of choosing to live off a lower income so we could enjoy the one life we have with the people we love but they just couldn't make it work. So we got rejected. It was awful. I cried a lot. We had to tell our relatives "never mind...", Which was embarrassing.. We didn't need the bedroom after all. We knew we aren't really willing to go against our philosophy because it's extremely important to us and we had worked hard to cultivate and maintain it. We wanted to open our life to a child and be present for them and we figured there's a reason the state provides a check - to compensate for the needs of the child. So it's not like they would ever have to do without. I have a niece so I know how much it costs to raise a child and the monthly compensation foster care provides is more than enough so we'd be able to have the child in soccer or karate or whatever they want to do. Our finances prove that our money management skills are above average so we know what we're doing. It may not be conventional but it works really well. But alas, on paper it doesn't work for them so we had to just put our binders on a shelf and they've collected dust ever since. I really just wish they would have taken our financial information before the class so we wouldn't have spent all that time and effort just to be rejected anyway. It seems silly to do things out of order like that. It's really disappointing. Our relatives ask us everytime they see us if and when we will still do foster care and we have to shrug and say we don't know. I'm just sharing my experience to let people know that no matter how safe and loving your household is it really can come down to income; despite what they say, your income can definitely be the deciding factor. In the time after we were rejected we've actually managed to pay off our mortgage and saved up enough to by a nice, extra reliable car. We focus more on paying for the things that we have rather than buying new things we don't need and we do really well at that. My husband now works even less because he can and we have been having a blast with all of our free time. Our goals have been met and we are pretty much retired at 30. It's really great and I'm grateful to be at this point. I still hope that one day we'll be allowed to take part in caring for the 400,000+ children who just need a safe and loving family who will support them and be present for them.
I am a mom of 5 and a social worker who works with families who are adopting and fostering. I don't think you could have explained this any better. And you are 100 percent right, we are definitely rooting for all families that we come into contact with
Hi Angie, this was so helpful thank you. I'd love to hear about specific things in a house that need to be up to scratch for home studies. For example I heard of someone having to replace all of their banisters on the staircase because they were a couple of inches too far apart from each other. Did they go around with a tape measure in your home also?! Also would love to hear about finances from the international stand point - e.g. I read China have requirements about financial assets and that debt is scrutinised. Does that apply with special needs adoptions? What about a mortgage - is that seen as a debt against your assets?
When I adopted in Indiana, I just had to have a clean home that was 'safe'. I'd say things like no broken windows or loose boards kind of safe. In Arizona, I had to have special spigots on the outside spigots. I had to have a place to lock medications. If you have banisters, they would have to meet the safety requirements as far as distance between slats. The same is true for a crib if you're getting an infant.
I was adopted domestically as a baby. My parents started the process when my birth mom was still pregnant. It was so interesting to watch this because obviously I wasn’t around for that lol. Love all your videos ❤️
I am so thankful for this video series. Starting a family is a long way off for me but your content has really called me to adoption and it is nice to know the ins and outs of the process ahead of time. Thank you!
Thought I'd share a little funny with you. It was actually at one of our post placement visits with a social worker that I didn't really know at the time. We have since then actually become close friends. Anyway we were talking with her and I notice my two year old standing there with what appears to be a rock in his mouth. I immediately have him spit it out into my hand......only to realize it was NOT a rock but a pebble of poop!! We have no idea where it came from especially since we have no pets. At first she was trying to be so proper but soon she just burst out laughing. We still to this day laugh about the day my child "ate poop" in front of the social worker. 🙄
As someone who went to school as a social worker, don't worry about providing snacks and beverages :) part of the ethics of social work include not accepting gifts from clients, and that includes snacks/drinks :)
Thank you for making these videos! I'd love to see one on international adoption from a Hague convention country. Also, can you talk about any of the little details you'd want people to know? Things like safety hazards to consider that aren't obvious to the average person? Or things that you feel made your home study processes easier?
Thank you for this information! I've been doing a lot of research about the adoption process in my state and this was so helpful how you broke down the home study process. My biggest concern about adopting is if my home will be good enough/big enough!
I love how you are breaking the different aspects of adoption down into topics for individual videos---much less overwhelming! For your family, if you hope/plan to ever adopt again, does it become more difficult to get selected the more children you already have? I can imagine many birth mothers would be hesitant to select a family that already has seven children. I do not mean that in a disrespectful/negative way, I was just curious if that becomes more of a factor.
Emma Green we live in OK and just went through fostering, not adoption. But we kept our dogs outside, so they wouldn’t jump and be in the way for the interview part, but she went out and walked by them to make sure they were nice and just checked out the yard
These adoption videos are great! Just to mention, Foster-adoption home studies though our county are free! Also, can you do a video or mention whether or not you have to do training hours before adopting privately? For our county , it was a 12 week class.
This is so interesting to me. My parents had to have a home study done 19 years ago before we adopted my sister from China. I remember none of it, but they still talk about it, mostly because Y2K was a thing then and my parents had stocked our basement with supplies. Lol
It's funny how things with your adoptions are so different from mine. Of course, there are some things that are alike, like cleaning your house and baking cookies, the home walk through and talking to the kids. When I adopted my first child, you had to be married. But you didn't even have to own a couch. The next 2 updates made me just as nervous. When I moved from Indiana to Arizona, after the 3 kids from the first three adoptions were grown, I had to do a completely new home study. But I was adopting 3 siblings at the same time, so it only took one home study. Yes, I was just as nervous. And I had to explain why the 4 of us could live in a 900 sq ft condo with only 2 bedrooms when there were 2 boys and a girl. And I lived under the poverty level. But the kids were minority, sibling, special needs. Maybe that had something to do with it. I had to do an update for the last adoption. That was 9 years ago. I was even more broke than before, but at least we had 3 bedrooms by then. I only gave birth (not an embryo adoption) to one but ended up with eight kids. You have one more of those than I do. But if you adopt another child, you will have caught up with me! ;) My kids range from 10 to 47. I think I'm through. Thank you for advocating for adoption. It's very rewarding!
This seems very similar to our foster agency paperwork we've been going through. My agency requires all children 12 and older in the home to do a background check too though.
I apply for adoption through Alberta Government since 2014 still in process my experience is really bad because en experience staff and social worker they make the money they never want to know how those couple suffer in whole system need to lot of changes in that system 250 MP and 76 MLA have no time to see it
I need help to prepare my husband without overwhelming him any suggestions? Hes very open to it all but hasnt done much research on his own. For ex bonding process
How long do they prefer references to have known you? My oldest friends (10+ yrs) aren't the parenting types, and wouldn't know (or care) whether or not I'd make a good parent - they just know my personality, tastes in music, most embarrassing stories(!), etc. Newer (1 yr or less) friends - who *are* parents - say I'm nice & seem like I'd be a good parent, but don't know much else about me. Which should I list as references?
Thank you so much for uploading it’s very helpful. I’ve been interested in adopting since I was little when I found out my best friend was adopted. I have a question what are my chances if I wanted to adopt being a single person? This is the only thing that’s stopping me from adopting. Everything else is checked ☺️
Question: at this point my family (me, husband and one y/o) are living with my folks. We just got done doing some traveling, so we didn’t want to keep our apartment while we were gone for months at a time, and we are working on finishing our savings for a down payment and hopefully building a house. Anyway, we will be living with my parents for the next several months, if we go with building instead of buying it might be close to a year. Is living with my folks, even though it’s obvious we’re not dead beats, to the contrary we’re obviously really smart with finances, but would that be an automatic red flag on our home study?
@@mariamakarova8329 good question. If they probably filed them and can't find them. Could be that they need to confirm it is really you and not some one with just you details.
Fingerprints can also be altered, even as simply as if you cut your finger and now have a scar, that could be considered a “new” fingerprint. Just due diligence.
How likely is it for a not yet married gay couple to be approved? Say there’s a child who we’d like to adopt does the child get some say? Or do the social workers decide?
Pretty much anyone can adopt or foster. The child does get a say in it too. If the kid meets you and says "nope I dont want to live with them" then they listen to child.
I'm wondering if anyone knows any information on if a spouse has a criminal record (from a long time ago) is it going to be not possible for any kind of adoption? international/domestic... Im from Canada (ontario)! Any info would help :)
It will depend on the charges. We adopted from foster care. My mom wasn’t allowed around my kids until finalization because of some dropped charges from 15 yrs before.
Hi My name is Jasmine Lucas. I'm one of your subscribers "The Lucas Life Of Kids". I'm sure you have heard about the most wicked abortion law that has been passed in NY celebrating murder of babies 😢 I know from your videos that you know alot about adoption and I was wondering if you could answer a very important question I have come to wondering deeply about. Is it possible to adopt a baby that is going to be aborted (MURDERED) ? I Pray that if there is something that we can do to save even one of these innocent babies lives that God will show us a way! But even if there wasn't a way, I know that Every baby that is aborted, God has adopted! When Jesus returns wickedness will be destroyed! Knowing these 2 things is the only thing that helps me feel a sense of peace hearing about this wickedness.
Good to know it was not just my crazy country wanting all and sundry . The only additional we south African adoptive parent have to do is a psychological study. The rest is basically the same.
This wasn’t a debate question. I know how they work I’ve done countless research. What’s right for my family is what I will continue to do. My son almost died from vaccines. Please keep your opinions to your self.
No. If your fostering to adopt, you’ll have to vaccinate until the adoption is final. Then it’s up to you. Once you finalize the adoption they are your kids 100% just like a biological child.