Yeah, that's the spirit. You start giving and with good intentions, and if the other person does not reciprocate, you leave. But it's not smart to begin on "defensive" mode. Begin on kind and giving mode, and get out if it doesn't work, man or woman. It's simple.
The reason the system is broken is promiscuity. When women made men step up, and she too had to show the man what kind of person she was, BEFORE sex, the system worked. But the only way it works is with one crucial ingredient. Time. Any player can step up for a short amount of time. He can't do it for the long haul. If all women made all men wait, then men would have to up their game. Men would then only pursue the woman he wants. No more time wasting. No more ghosting. No more siutationships. But to be pursued, the woman would have to show she's worth it to him for the long haul. This is how the system works. We broke the system with hookup culture. Only women can make that go away. But women are short term thinkers. They want the bag, etc... They think they should be able to run around having fun in their 20s, and then find their man in their late 20s to early 30s. But the men they want in their 20s, don't want them long term. Now they have to pursue the guys who do. Those men are increasingly no longer interested in sloppy leftovers.
@@leroyrussell8766Hook up culture does have its downsides but making men wait for sex like a carrot on a stick is hardly a recipe for a healthy relationship, seeing a relationship as an exchange instead of a partnership is fucking weird dude. Sure, some of it is an exchange for us humans to satisfy our cravings for intimacy but that’s a very 1 dimensional way of looking at things. You’re glazing over everything else that goes into partner selection and oversimplifying how dating works. It’s possible for people to treat each other well without giving out sex like treats to men, that’s fucking ridiculous
@@leroyrussell8766dude dating isn’t a system ffs. It’s simple: shoot your shot, reciprocate their efforts, and work with them to make it work. Sometimes you get unlucky and it doesn’t work, but if you keep trying and being a good person you will find someone
@@TheLastAlgonquin how much does a guy taking a girl on a date cost?? What's with the weird miserable cost comparison? I don't get what it accomplishes. Enjoying a persons company should be a thing in its own..
@@Madchris8828 That would depend on the method of transportation and the date itself. But I'm assuming both agreed to the date and it's various costs and inconveniences. That guy was going to have to get home from the airport whether he had a girlfriend or not.
@@falaknadeem162I don't think that's what she meant. I think she meant that he's been treating her nice, so she made him a lunch in return. He took her on the date, and she's picking him up and making him lunch. Honestly, seems like a fair trade. 🤷♀️
Absolutely true. I was in a relationship with my girlfriend at the time, some of her friends would talk her out of being a relationship and she figured out that they were toxic or I would basically confront them privately say.. you can either be happy for the fact that we're in a relationship with your friend, or I can have you taken home. And have her block you for the rest of your life... They messed around and found out
Love this. Reciprocation. An acknowledgement of all the efforts men make not being a bare minimum, because the bare minimum really is actually nothing. The ending. Single women keeping women single, and the putdown. Love it.
A girl I been going out with for about 6 weeks, out of the blue, made me a packed lunch before I headed out. It was kind and thoughtful and happened over 20 years ago and I still remember the gesture with fondness.
@@mauritsgresnigt2801it really does, men take ANY compliment we get and cherish that shit because it rarely happens unless you're conventionally attractive
Men love saying that, because they want a servant. In reality if you put someone on the pedestal, they will not treat you as equal, that's the same with men and women. Your partner should be your bestie, not some royalty.
Oh my lord mate, you dug way to deep for that. The saying now simply means to reciprocate. I ain’t gonna try in a relationship if all the woman brings is s**. You have to bring some level of effort or I am just going to quit bring effort. I will go over the literal moon for someone who brings even a marginal amount of effort into a relationship to make me feel loved/wanted. And I ain’t talking romantics, I can buy a hooker for that.
@@renenetatm8222women want to be treated as queen while treating their guy as a servant men want to be treated as king by their queens. do you see the difference, 1 is hierachal one is equal
@@amazingfantasy6315 The book the quote is from continues to explain why a proper wife is truly a treasure. It also lists out what to ,look for in a good wife, and good husband. However, for most women these days, peace and quiet is worth more.
The bare minimum for a woman on a date is to be pleasant no matter where you go and be good company. Basically make sure everyone is having a good time. Then when it comes time to say that there won't be a 2nd date if things didn't go well to not be a total biatch when you say it.
Women like that are just mad that they are being made to look bad in comparison. Only way a low standard works for someone is if other people apply it too. Then again... if too many women set the bar for themselves too low, then men apparently just peace out and play video games.
@@michaeldietz7793 It is a little different but I didn't word it specifically enough. The guy is going to be the anxious one since the onus is on him is to try and carry the date but the woman is suppose to a soothing element calming allowing the guy to feel more comfortable which leads to a better time for everyone involved. This might require laughing at stupid jokes, smiling a lot, and speaking words of encouragement without being condescending.
You are very amazing. We need more people like you in the world. All the other women are intolerant to this thing we need some more good women like you good job you go girl.
"Trying way too hard." No, its just called putting effort into a relationship. Thanks for all you do, its refreshing to hear a woman who actually cares.
@stratigangames508 two dates isn't enough time to really know someone. For all you know, the person you're going out with could be going out with two other people.
I love this. Some of us have had bad experiences being “wifey material” and see that as the problem to why we weren’t taken seriously when we were just with the wrong guy. You should always put in effort as much as he is. Especially if he’s paying for dates, making sure you’re safe and opening doors for you. Making someone a meal or snack is the most kindest thing you can do. You’d want the guy to do things for you while dating too. You don’t have to go full on wife but you can show your interest in your actions.
This might go unnoticed but I'd like to say a great big thank you for doing these shorts and dedicating your time to get these messages out there. As a young man I find myself very confused on how I'm supposed to act sometimes and I try my best on the few dates I've been going to recently. Seeing and hearing that someone like you is out there making us guys feel welcomed to be ourselves instead of being forced into sacrificing out identify is great. I look forward to every new video you post and as I hope to learn more and more.
@@post-leftluddite I know. But I refuse to believe that that is the norm, no matter how often I see it. (I know it's a little naïve, but I would rather have a little hope)
I met this girl at a party and she was ALLLL THAT, maroon-red dyed hair, thin waist, pretty face. The house party that we were all at, was at her aunts house and her nephews were there and they came downstairs hungry. I watched her make food for these 2 kids in the middle of people partying,dancing and singing. She brought them back up and came back down and cleaned the kitchen and the house while the party continued. I went back to my apartment at college and I got a call from one of my boys “Yo, that girl with the red hair wanted your number!” The next week she moved in with me because I learned she was sleeping on a couch at her aunts place for months. That was 5 years ago and we got married last February. Girls, be wifey material to get husband material. Guys, be husband material to get wifey material. It’s a 50/50, not a one way street.
100% the thought process a lot of women have is if he won’t find someone who will men are doing the same now and it’s really ruffling some feathers but either way that doesn’t correlate to what you said what you said is perfection
when my boyfriend and i first started dating, he wasnt feeling too good at work/hadnt eaten so i dropped him off some chicken nuggets from mcdonalds and added a lil hand written note saying i hope he enjoys and i care about him, it was between my work shifts and i didnt think much of it.. just wanted him to know i care and wanted him to eat something - he said that was one of the most thoughtful things hes ever experienced and still has the note to this day.
When we just started dating, my boyfriend got sick. I brought him a box of Kleenex. It floored him that I would do that. It is one of his favorite memories about me, and proved to him I really did like him. We've now been married a couple years ❤ I thought it was just a simple act to help. But it made his year, ncs guys receive so little simple decency anymore 😢
ask a woman genuinly, what do you bring in a relationship ? she will either say its sexist but actually litterally dont know what they offer in a relationship yet they know immedietaly the whole list they want in a man, these women are incredibly entitled these days its sad
Still remember receiving flowers on a date for the first time when I was 23. Blew my mind. I never knew I could receive flowers and it made me so happy!
@@missantrafalgar782 well, I’m 24 now, and we realized we weren’t right for each other around our 8th date. Though it didn’t work out, I’ve learned that even though I’m male presenting, I still deserve to be treated with the same attention and care that a woman does on dates! :) I’m in a relationship now, and she always wants to take care of me. Like, the other day I was really feeling unwell, so she went grocery shopping for the essentials for me, and handmade me some sushi rolls to eat since it’s my favorite food. She makes me very happy, and I think she’s the one :)
You are a person of course you can. however society says no. Me? I buy myself flowers or plants that i like. If someone thinks otherwise I don't care. It's not your business.
@@bearwitty9690don’t date someone you can’t imagine being in a marriage with. That’s the reason why all those pushy and cringe wifey women are happily married and the others… own cats
Normalize love language expression in contexts that aren't always romantic. Cuz they aren't. My love language is physical touch. I always make sure to dap up the homies and pat em on the back when they're down. It goes a long way.
@@relax6098 True story. Could be part of the love bombing a narcissist does in the beginning of dating and the relationship. Then she'll devalue you and you'll wonder what you did wrong
Can confirm, my gf does things like this and it definitely makes me stick around. And i do things for her with no question in return. Seeing appreciation helps alot.
Well said. I'd say about half my dating experience is just women "showing up" and expecting me to do everything. Plan the date, pick them up, carry the conversation, do all the gentleman stuff, take them home, be nice to their family and friends if we meet, make the move towards intimacy and all this carries the risk of rejection at any point while getting no appreciation. Really feels like it's 1 wrong move and all the 99 good things you've done are forgotten.
sounds about right. its definitely not as horrible as some of the red pill content makes it sound like. but about half or alittle above that is also what i experienced.
Funny how I acted like this with mine and now we live together with 4 kids. If you want to do this for a man u like there is nothing wrong with it. Stop taking dating advice from people that call a kind gesture a wifey task 😂
I don't get it. Like a women making me food has 0 effect on how I feel about her. Doesn't matter if she does or does not. If its a nice gesture then its one that I don't care about.
This is insanely true! Equality is about showing the same consideration for our partner that our partner shows for us and I think that's how strong relationships get built.
@@voevodineu i think people should both express gratitude. Just saying thank you and reminding how much it something matters to you is not hard, and it means a lot
@@lunedefroid8817 It depends on one's empathy level I'd say, I am one of those people who finds it hard to express feelings, sure it's some kind of social cripliness, but nevertheless, it's not easy for everyone as you said - that's what I would like to point out
Thank you, I do a lot for the people I like and I get friend zoned practically immediately. So I hope this reaches out to other women so that good men find them.
Well done and great work. Not married, but been with the same for 15 years, with 2 kids. It sure take some effort and there can be some really low periods where you can regret it all. Buuut it passes and life is good again.
I think the big thing is to make sure you’re doing this for the right person. Doing all of this stuff earlier on can def backfire if it’s the wrong person. This is where discernment comes into play 💙
@@dennis_hdmi5402doing it for the wrong person means 1) you waste time by throwing pearls to swine 2) you open yourself up for being unappreciated to the point where it can border on disrespect because they do not reciprocate 3) you open yourself up to attacks on your time, energy and sometimes psychological well being from people who have no good intentions for you. It can definitely backfire alright…
@2011troya agreed, but all of that is observable, and when it happens, you now know to leave him for someone who won't do that. So it isn't a problem and can help with discernment.
@2011troya Dude, she's trying to make him lunch. She's not trying to pay up his 7-figure debt. It's not that deep. Reciprocate affection and gesture to the person you're dating. If you're gonna get caught up with the "are they the right person" mentality, then don't date them and respect the other person's time they could be spending with someone who could show appreciation because you clearly can't.
@@dennis_hdmi5402I'm a giver, not a taker. I don't like it when people do things for me that we didn't talk about first, but I'm happy to be generous and thoughtful when there's an opportunity. If someone made a lunch for me without asking first if I wanted one, I'd be upset by the obligation being imposed. I'm probably a fringe case though. Food stuff is the kind of thing a person learns on a first date. I'm just saying they've got a point about discernment. In relationships, communication is key.
Speaking on behalf of all Dan's, mutual effort like this is so rare and attractive. Even if it doesn't work out, you can both know that you tried, and walk away while respecting each other.
this! on point! women today have no idea how much such little treats do to men! this is how we receive love and feel connection. I wish more women would see and understand this.
You tell it girl! Being kind to others doesn't require some kind of minimal criteria; your behavior reflects on you, not them. If they "use" you and don't reciprocate similar behavior, then that says everything you need to know about them.
Changing your behavior because someone MIGHT use you might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard, honestly. Just be normal, be kind, make yourself likeable by the other individual. If they don't reciprocate, then they might not be a fit for you, but you should never assume that they won't.
Exactly! You give the energy you want back and show genuine interest and care for the person you are dating. If they don't reciprocate and use you then you leave. Being aloof and not showing affection isn't going to make a good man suddenly want to wife you up, it's just childish mind games
Some of us are jaded from past heartbreak 😔 In my most recent relationship, I was so happy getting to play wife, doing all these things for him. I helped him with a surgery, taking him to and from and providing in-home care for a couple weeks… fewer than 6 months into the relationship. I continued to help with his medical needs for 2 years, even postponing work opportunities to accommodate his surgery schedule. Then one time I needed to go to the emergency clinic. He refused to leave work a couple hours early to take me, even though he would not have been punished at work for doing so. Instead my mom had to drive down from where she lives and take me. I should have recognized his true colors that day. He was an overall nice guy every day, but the double standards in how we were willing to take care of each other should have told me all I needed to know right then and there. But I was the fool. And I kept letting the disparity in care grow until he didn’t want to live together anymore. Now I know that wife behavior has to be earned, except that makes me just another jaded woman who seems unattractively selfish 😮💨 I just want to settle down and grow old with someone who loves me the way I love him
No, men will take you as a doormat. Men have biological tendency to chase women. If a woman is too nice, they take it as cue to walk all over her and give her bare minimum in return. All of that while he stalks and likes Stacey’s insta profile and longs for her.
Thank you so much for these videos. I think they have the power to reallyyyyy open the eyes of a lot of women and real men appreciate your work as well as the way it's done. Even the sass in the end!! 🥂
When I met my husband, he didn't mind taking me on our first date to Panera Bread when he asked me out which is my favorite place and on our second date I decided to treat him out to a nice coffee shop in my suburban area and a bike ride adventure together. We didn't mind treating each other out on dates.
This is really cute and sweet! 🥰 Bike ride adventure sounds like an awesome date idea, it's something fun! Dinner dates are nice but it's cool to see people doing other fun ideas.
You approached the relationship thinking "What can I do for him?" and his was "What can I do for her?". This is the secret to every successful relationship and (as far as I can gather) that is what you experiencing. Keep it up the both of you.
My wife has been wifey since day 1. Everything she did amd continues to do for me fills my heart with so much love and respect. I give her thay same love and energy in return. Weve been together happily ever since and plam on having kids soon.
I wanna thank you for making this, I feel like I'm going insane hearing a bunch of crazy takes like the hoodie girl is saying, videos like these help me realize that I'm not delusional.
I just sent my hubby some flowers and a snack to tell him I love him and appreciate all the hard work he's been doing (doing his job while dealing with flaky contractors during some home repair, ugg...). It made him so happy to get them. And he has done the same for me (or run out at midnight for random snack attack fries for us both). It is give and take and mutual effort that makes relationships work.
Absolutely. But how about next time, put some lingerie with that snack pack instead of flowers. Wrap the sandwich with it. My guess is that he'll get the message and knock your socks off when he gets home. And expect him to take the next day off too. 😅
Not relevant. Giving your HUSBAND wifey treatment is not the same giving a man you’ve met twice wifey treatment. You are literally your husband’s wife.
It’s hilarious cause I guarantee you the second you hand that guy the surprise lunch the first thing that will pop into his head is “what in the wifey material is this??” 😂❤️
@@Rosie82333 I understand that, so they won't get your time for very long, but becoming jaded and testing every potential partner before revealing your true self is nearly as bad as pretending to be a wonderful person and then manipulating your partner, both are dishonest. You miss out on all those truly good people who only got to see your hard shell and decided that person wasn't for them. I don't see how anyone thinks they can find happiness by pretending to be something they're not.
@@Rosie82333 You'll miss out on the right one when you show everybody a person who isn't the true you. You're asking someone to not only show you their true self, but to break down the walls you put up against them. Why would anybody do that? Would you do that? Keep fighting for a relationship where that person is punishing you from day 1 for things you had nothing to do with? Be true to yourself and the right person will be true to you
Met my wife 53 years ago one evening when we were both in separate high schools, about 25 miles apart & We clicked :) I've shortened this story, but I immediately started picking her up from school , but in order to see her daily, I chose to help her with her busy outside charity work. It brought us that much closer & it has worked well - both ways - over the years, including when I was in the Navy right after graduation & she still had another year of school.... Great ride & I'd do it again!
I love how some women think equality only goes one way, I like to go the extra mile, to show I'm not like other men that do minimum and think its a lot, but I also like to feel that what I'm doing is appreciated and not just taken for granted.
I'm the type of guy who just does as he pleases and it's always seen as I'm going the extra mile. Which is funny because all my ex's loved that about me but because of that chose to build the relationship on lies because they didn't want to lose me. They became my ex's for a reason.😂
According to society, and if modern feminist get their way, women will get everything and men will work the manual labor jobs and be seen as beneath them. Oh wait that’s already happening, there are more women in college than men, and men are increasingly being drawn to the trades because they don’t have to incur the debt that their supposed wife will have. Also, true equality stopped being the goal like 50 years ago, now they just want a matriarchy. If you ask me, the best society is an egalitarian society like we we’re heading towards anyway.
I’m loving you. This is my second video of yours and you are sharing some mad truths. I women that would do that for sure would move up in ranking and in my heart. If I as a man get reciprocated actions I want to keep giving more. If not I won’t see you as the one worth my time and effort.
Exactly. Give and take. No relationship can function without both sides willing to give. Too many women feel too entitled to man’s effort. Too many men only willing to put forth the effort if they think it will get them laid.
The part about women k agree with but thee men one only sleaze bags expect to be laid and they are the minority of men not the majority the majority of men are ignored and we tend to be more gentlemanly and only expect you to not be going on multiple dates a day or be sleeping around when with us cause I can tell you this we aren't or can't. Not from lack of trying either cause like I said ignored.
@@ditchan1806 I think you meant interdependency? Codependence is toxic but interdependence is necessary because we can’t all possibly be completely self-sufficient. It just doesn’t work in the modern world. With interdependence, we rely on each other to provide for everyone’s needs. So, in a couple, one person may work for a paycheck that pays to keep a roof over heads, food on the table and clothes on the back. And then the cleaning, cooking and laundry is split up (house chores are more demanding than an office job. My partner gets all his work done in less than 2 hours a day, but I work retail shipment so it’s like a workout for me 3-5 days a week, 8 hours, but he works from home. He can do his share of housework).
@@isabelsalamanca893 nah he said no relationship works on just giving but there are a lot of codependent couples (toxic) which do last I was meaning that
Women... AND men, are forgetting that in order to please someone you have to strive to be nice. In the society we are developing, it is increasingly common to see vanity, self-centeredness and self-indulgence at their best.
It's crazy to me that women like this will refuse to do "kind gestures" as they consider it Wifey treatment, yet they will sleep with the guy on the 1st date. (Hell, sometimes without even a date) Just goes to show how backward things are right now. 😂
I was thinking the same thing. I'm in it right now. Just ended a two year relationship. She slept with me on the first night, met her at a night club. Two years later, she won't even make me a cup of coffee. She can't see what my problem is, or why I don't want to move in with her.
Not really about the video, but i just wanna share. My friend has been with this guy for two years. Everyday she’ll prepare his clothes, do laundry, clean, organize his closet, prepare his towel, heck she even SQUEEZES the toothpaste into the brush for him everytime he’s about to take a shower. AND THIS GUY JUST CHEATED ON MY FRIEND. While I do agree with the video, appreciation should go both way for a relationship so i hope the person anyone’s on the date with appreciates this kind gesture.
He probably put her in the friendzone, because she didn’t gave him enough bad girl vibes or something? At least that’s the female explanation on why they cheat on good husbands.
While I don't condone cheating in a monogamous relationship, if they were sexless and he addressed this with her, then there were only two real possible outcomes of she didn't correct that. You may not be getting the whole story.
dude, the girl I'm engaged to made me fall for her by actually doing little things like this that showed she actually cares. Sure, I do all the expensive things like paying for dinners, since I earn almost 4 times as much as her, but even just coming home to see she's arranged my desk and files correctly is the kind of small thing she does that feels so special and makes me see her as someone I want to marry.
Women that do little things for us are the best. My fiancee is similar and also tells me if I'm close to burnout since I hyperfocus on my tasks at work. That woman can read me like an open book, and my mental health has drastically improved thanks to her
im only found 2 girls like this and in 29yo. Sadly, i couldnt had a great match with these women. rn im in a relationship, but i miss that kind of treatment. they are treasures
@@Rosie82333 30 years from now: a girl in the white is happily playing with her 3rd grandkid. While smart fems who "never allowed to take advantage of them" are crying to the pillow and thinking about getting the 5th cat :D
@@ErinThePsychicWitch Ah guys are around everywhere, every store you go to, down every street you are on but most of them wont be interested. Ya'all think guys are dumb but they can sus you up pretty quickly and if not they certainly will when they learn more about you for good or for bad (usually bad.) Most guys are single afterall, they just don't wanna be with you and would actually prefer to remain single than be with you. 9 times out of 10 the single life is a better life for them rather than the alternative and they know it down to their core.
I did this wifey thing and the guy said "you're moving too fast" sooo still be careful who you're doing this and maybe not do it right away until you're sure the feelings are mutual. (Communicate and listen) And if it's not right then keep on moving some guy would love to be treated that way :3
The guy is a jerk. We only need the stomach full and another thing empty. And it is just food. We love getting food or affection in any way. My wife wrote me sweet letters with hearts, so I had to marry her 😊 I proposed after 6 days of meeting her and she said YES.
As a guy, I say leave him because he is the type of guy not looking for marriage, he is just looking for fun. This is how you out the bad guys from the good ones. If he says it's to fast, it the same type of guy to say "she love bombed me" with gifts. Your wifey level gestures shows a level of seriousness that he didn't want because he doesn't want marriage as the end goal. He is a player!
You missed the point. The point is to treat people well and be amazing to everyone you date. You then use their reaction to gauge whether or not you should stick together. If they don't reciprocate it then you dump them and move on. Just like in your case. You learned that he wasn't worth shit. You move on and keep doing "wifey things" for your future partners until one sticks. You don't wait and "not do it right away". That's pretty much exactly the opposite of what the video is saying.
