Don't Let Their Addiction Consume Everything! 

Not only is your ability to connect with others impacted but even more pointedly... your ability to connect with THEM becomes negatively impacted. This individual who is supposed to be your "partner" is unable or no longer able to meet your base emotional needs either because their addiction is monopolozing the whole dynamic. Friendships in adulthood come and go but if your spouse/SO/partner is no longer your best friend or support system that is more concerning.

Let them be, stop caretaking; they don’t deserve you.

Thank you so much for this Kim! My 63 year old husband finally ended up in the hospital after a fall and is going thru an extreme withdrawal from alcohol and is currently on a ventilator. Ive been listening to Put the Shovel Down videos for a few months and it has saved my sanity and helped me to know how to deal with everything. I’m also prepared with inpatient treatment places for him to go to immediately after he is discharged. However, I am not taking care of myself enough. Thank you for this timely reminder. You are an amazing therapist! 🙏🏼

Thank you! I feel so heard and understood. I kept thinking I can love him through it, but it was costing me my sanity, my health, my happiness. After reading, researching and mostly listening to my intuition, it was time for me to love myself enough to step away from “what he is or isn’t doing” getting my codependency issues noted and working on me. I felt my life was being wasted and I was living his life, and not my own…. A hard pill to swallow especially, when i was raised to “put others before yourself”. Discovering myself, finally loving myself has been the answer all along. Thank you Kim for these talks and I feel so supported by others through their comments. We are not alone. Sending love and compassion to us all. 🌻

Absolutely needed this tonight. More like this plx! Kg

Emotional Sobriety by Allen Berger is a great book to help with this imo. This live was super good - thank you! Tangible things one can do. ❤️🙏🏼

I am so glad you did a video about this. I had to stop living in the same home with my AB because he would get drunk, play the music so Loud, stay that way for days, and I wasn't able to get any sleep. I ended up getting very sick.

It feels like it’s always abusive. This helped so much. So timely. Thank you. To all the broken hearts out there right now I hope and pray for you to find the miracle of peace and joy in this horrible storm. So much love to you all. ❤

A few good takeaways / This massive wonderful thing has been taken without my permission ! I’ve lost my family loved one The grief is real. The window of tolerance is your tool for your safety. Safety is your need it’s basic survival for you. Thanks for the content

As a parent of a 37 yr old daughter that spent 8 weeks in the hospital from aspiration pneumonia caused from overtaking her meds, I appreciate your insights for personal survival. I knew one day something like this would happen. Her choices have consequences that have consumed my life. I NEED to put up my window of tolerance. Thank you for your encouraging words.

Thank you so much for this, as I’m dealing with staying in a depression state from stress of worrying about my two adult addict children. It’s beyond overwhelming.

This is EXACTLY what I needed today. Thank you, Kim. As always, you’re the best.

Sorry if you put up with it they will keep doing it they don't love or care about you sorry they love being drunk that is it your just there to be their doormat

Thank you for this! Very important info.

Thank you so much for this video! Very helpful.

Wow this was TRULY incredible! I know so much psychology and a lot about addiction but I still learned some totally new stuff from this short video!

I just had no idea it would be so relentless. Your knowledge and strategies about living with someone struggling with addiction are excellent, Kim. Thank you so much.

I'm not I'm going to lie to make him feel good he needs to know your sick of his bullshit

I've had a neighbor and a friend whom both ended up being addicts live close to me. They've been stealing off me since I moved home. I've called the cops at least a dozen times, installed cameras which he has gotten by, installed a fence, maxed out credit cards trying to protect myself. I'm not young or in great health. All of my private documents have been gone thru. I've bawled, I've prayed for them. I've told them to stay away from me, I've got into a heated discussion with them blaming them. I'm just short of getting some big biker to go in and kick some azz. Which I don't ever want to do. What can I do? I lose sleep constantly. I'm tired of this behavior

Why do we fall in love with someone with addiction when we don't have an addiction?