... unless you have these 6 things! My band: @InVirtue Secret code for $200 off my courses: Complete Rock and Metal Songwriting: howsongsaremad... How to ACTUALLY Write Lyrics: howsongsaremad... Edited by @ConnorGilks
I’ve been in many bands, and had many different experiences. Both good and bad. A lot of hired gun situations, where I just learned the music and showed up to rehearsals and shows. So didn’t have to do any heavy lifting. That goes without saying…you have to practice and master your instrument, and try to mimic what someone else hears in their music that you are interpreting. But those are never long lived. Always tried to keep an open door, and the bad situations, with the egomaniacs, crazy people, drunks and druggies, etc. always works out because those bands didn’t have any longevity, for obvious reasons. I remember joining my first band when I moved to NYC as a young dude, and the band was much older than I was. They used the band as leverage since I was young and hungry to get somewhere as a guitarist to make me feel like I owed them something. Not the best thing mentally. Make sure people appreciate what you do. If its just going to be a stepping stone, make sure you tell yourself that the moment you get any type of disrespect, and immediately start keeping your ears open. Make it work for you. You always end up meeting people in the circles, and as long as you are legit and don’t burn bridges not worth burning, something could always arise for another situation. After years of being in the trenches, I managed to get a good gig with a pretty well established act and play some big rooms. Unfortunately It wasn’t permanent, and I found myself being held back towards the end of the stint, but it was what I wanted at that particular point in time. I still talk to a lot of my old bandmates, we try to hang out on occasions. Some people I haven’t spoken to in 20 years, and probably wouldn’t. Its a lot to do with your attitude and discipline. You will sacrifice your weekends. You will sacrifice friends. You will put in countless hours of work for that 40 minutes on stage. Its a great feeling. It’s something someone should try experience if they ever wanted it. But ultimately, unless you have a unique situation, or get very lucky…be prepared to pay to play. Even if you get paid as a hired gun, expect to cover your gas, tolls, and parking/parking tickets. I make more money playing in cowboy chord bar bands than I ever did in any metal band. Now with social media, and so many outlets to get your content out, it starts to become less attractive to be in a band where you have to create something with three or four other minds that might not be on the same wavelength as you. Studio work and recording projects become a lot more appealing. I have my own band now, with one of the other dudes that lives in Finland. We write and record remotely, and its a cool thing. We probably won’t tour, but who knows. If I was to give any young musician advice about being in a band…try to get started as early as possible, jam with everyone. If you can have a circle of musicians that you can write songs with in your early to mid teens, thats a tremendous accomplishment. You’ll need a source of income. Don’t let your parents fund it, because it will detract from the discipline and sense of accomplishment. Make sure you are absolutely wise with your finances, hire people who you can trust to manage your money if it gets to that level. Stick with people outside the business, for that. Its always better to have someone on the outside looking in at what you are doing. If you can make a great album and tour in your early to mid twenties, get it out of your system. If you have fans, you can have a body of work that you can use as your staples, and that can work for you in the oncoming years, until you decide to try other things in life. There is more to life than being in a band. But, if being in a band is your life, you must be a certain animal. You will probably have a much different outlook on everything I just conveyed.
This is great! So glad to see you doing well and watching you grow. I ‘member those days where we played some random improv together in a basement back in high school back when I barely knew how to play guitar and you had long hair. How far we have both come. 20 years later I think we should collaborate on a song! And being in a band well… I still think a band only works when you have a dictator that runs the show and everyone else follows. Diplomacy doesn’t work. This is an observation iv seen from touring with a bunch of large acts that had made it and bands that have failed. A 2 person act is also a lot easier to manage then a 5 person act, every addition creates more opinions and point of failure.
I haven't not been in a band for the last 17 years of my life. Started a garage band with my friends at 13 and have consistently been in multiple bands at a time since I was about 16, totaling easily over a dozen bands over the years along with many more sideman/session gigs. The vast majority of my closest friends came from playing music in bands and I met my girlfriend at one of my gigs. I've made memories touring the US and playing shows ranging from bars to historic local theaters to festivals. That being said, playing music with other people is hard. You have to balance personalities, goals, creative decisions, financial realities, and busy schedules. But the lessons you'll learn, the people you'll meet, and the realities you'll face make all of the challenges worth it. I think it's incredibly important to do music for yourself and to have a strong personality voice/identity, but nothing replaces playing music with other people and I think that your experiences doing so only strengthen that sense of identity, even if it's sometimes learning what you don't want to do / who you don't want to be.
Ever had a singer come in with his entourage trying to listen to tv and putting the level up because he can't hear it well enough while you are tracking bass parts for the album you're working on in the practice space you rent? I compiled a .doc with examples of the stupid toxic crap that was happening when we got to our breaking point around that time. It was refreshing to read a couple of years later when I fell on it why leaving was the only option left. I'm still surprised I managed to pull that album together in the end and yes... it sounds like mud 😅 ... when you're stuck in drama you lose focus and the energy you would normally be putting into the project gets taken away in useless 💩 I'd love to say " if only I did X or Y" but my biggest takeaway from that was sometimes the problem really is other people and understanding how to recognize toxic patterns in others before getting involved in a project with them is probably the most valuable thing I could learn. Did I learn? Only time will tell now 😅
I was in four or five bands. The first was Lois Lane, an all girl band. We moved to Hollywood in 1978. I was 19 and very naive. I was a babe in the funhouse. It was a freaking wild time!!! We eventually broke up because we could never find a drummer. We did make a 4 song demo with the drummer for The Dogs, Ron Wood, doing the drumming. It was an awesome experience. I could write a book about my year and a half in LA.
My past experiences with bands have been up and down. I was in a few high school bands that never really went anywhere. But they were fun nonetheless. When I moved to California I instantly landed a spot in a Slayer clone thrash band through being good to hang out with and having good ability on the instrument. I spent 3 years with those people only to find out the drummer was a narcissist and the guitarist slandered me on a semi-regular basis because I was admitedly slacking on getting album solos written.When I finally got everything done, we were preparing to go on a tour to promote the album we worked on. I told myself after the album was out and the tour was done I was going to quit and start my own project. However, I was fired before that could happen. So they wiped all my work on the album and had my replacement redo my work with his spin behind my back and the guy who replaced me did the tour instead. So with my newfound absence from my local music scene at the time, I hit up contacts I made in the area over time and started my current band with a new sound and a new value set. I had a pretty solid lineup by the end of 2019, but then Rona hit and everything came to a halt for 3 years. The lineup I spent all of 2019 trying to get was gone in the span of 3 weeks into the lockdowns and I was under the assumption my band was doomed to be a solo studio project that was my side hustle while I made my living at my job. Just recently I started up the project again now that I'm moved out of California with new people that are professionals who know what they're doing and are good to hang out with, along with my previous experiences to never treat bandmates like how my previous band treated me. I'm not in the same spot I was in before regarding band notoriety and success, but I'm in a much healthier spot now than I ever was with people I like and people who like me back and the fact that we're in a band together is just a bonus. We're also writing like crazy and we're loving what we're writing! Is it anything 100% new? No, but we're having fun with it and I hope people will like it once we bring it to our future shows!
Not easy to find the right people who can share the same taste, talent and schedule… I’m about to release by end of 2024 my first album T. Reznor style (all by myself!). A lot of effort, time consuming and might not be able to play shows for now but still the best way for me to spend my little free time (I’m a father of 3). Take care Trey and keep up the good work!
99% of bands are a waste of time and money. Bands don't usually achieve anything. However, time you enjoy wasting is not actually wasted time. Enjoying life is the whole point.
Finding the right people to start a truly rad band is most certainly the hardest part of it all. This is why I have ultimately decided to go the independent artist route. Shameless plug, like you said, I have a new song dropping May 31st and I really hope you check it out when it drops. 🤘🏻
I have a unique story I think with my band. I had never been in a band until last year at the age of 33. So there was a guitar teacher I took lessons from, phenomenal player and teacher, legendary in my area. Well he passed away unfortunatley way too young in 2020. Well my now singer was in a band with him back in the late 80's, early 90s called hexxer where he sang and played bass. So fast forward to 2 years ago and he got up and sang one of the old hexxer songs with another band at the yearly celebration of life he puts together every year. So he got the bug to be in a band again and he asked me if I wanted to join since I took guitar lessons from the guy who passed for a few years. And here we are now, a band of friends and one student of an awesome dude who died way too soon. Now we play the old songs they wrote together and we are writing new ones, honoring the music and memory of those guys who are no longer with us.
All excellent points, but the most important question... did you specifically colour co-ordinate with the yellow and black laundrette decor, or just a happy accident?
I loved everything about this one, Trey. Very nicely done. I am still very curious about the “space between” (NOT A DMB REFERENCE) being a bedroom/one-man-band who records on a laptop and pays people on Fiver/Airgigs to mix/master and a “band” who pays for studio time and pays WAY more than side-hustle pricing…. Even if you’re still just one person (or maybe 2… like Billie and Finneas).
Yeah I think there's a moment when you realize you've got some music that makes it worth making the leap and getting other people involved. Like, if you wanna play shows or even take band promo photos, you need other people, but if the material isn't that great then keep working in the bedroom til it is
I am in a nu-deathcore band heavily inspired by Tallah with my best friend who is also a great musician. We are the two locked in members and almost have an ep recorded but we need more people to play the other instruments because the current instrumentalists suck and aren’t as invested in it as us. Our band is called Bloodletter NY and Nate I’m sure you’re gonna see this lol.
About the songwriting. I heard that successful musicians like Noel Gallagher and Rivers Cuomo wrote 50 songs each before starting their bands. It seems than songwriting is like a muscle the easier it gets the more you "workout". I guess, I have like 46-48 more songs to go... Uff!
No one with any brain cells is starting a band in 2024/2025... They're podcasting, they're streaming, they're doing computer science, or trying to break into politics.
For me and the drummer it wasn’t about music … f^*+ the music… At that time it was because we had nothing to do , and saved us from BIG problems… Eventually, we ended up loving playing… Just for the love of music… We WORK, And played just for the fuel to the gig and the drinks…
Hey, thanks, that was sorta uplifting. I'm starting a new thing, and I was sorting through some of this stuff unconsciously. Now, I can be a bit more proactive on some stuff. Knowledge is power!
Parent and former gigging musician (that somehow made money) here. I could not agree more about making sure you have the resources (financial, time, space, etc) before committing to either, especially if you’re balancing a lot of different commitments. I had a blast gigging, now I just play for fun whenever my buddies are around.
I'm convinced that being in a band is more difficult than being in a marriage with a family. Obviously musicianship is important but It's so hard to find like-minded people that get along and enjoy each others company. So many variables and so much limited time! Days and months go by so fast; I don't understand how people with careers and families find the time for consistent band practice and gigging. You have to sacrifice your family for your music to make it work-that's something I can't do right now.
It's funny that this video came out around the same time I found out about what happened to American Head Charge. They were just so self-destructive, but they put out really good stuff.
YEAH, BIG NEWS COMING SOON™! Jokes aside, I've been waiting for new In Virtue stuff and lowkey expected this video to have a hint about it, thank [insert your belief] it started at 10:29!
That was just a really well-made video regardless of content. I think you played the wrong in virtue song, though, given that you were in a laundromat.
God I miss hot canned vending machine coffee, especially in winter in Japan. Get two of those and throw them in your jacket pockets to keep warm and then it's a perfect drink, with the optimum amount of milk and sugar every time.
idk, I'd almost argue that good songs are almost negligible. If everyone was awesome, then no one would be. I think showing up and, like you said, being someone others would want to be around, is the biggest part of it.
In fact, there is nothing new under the sun. The real trick is dusting off an idea so old that everyone forgot about it.
4 месяца назад
Just my 2cents ... One red flag is: "too much talking" If somebody tries too much to explain why they are great, they are either desperate or the talent is so hidden or they lack the mindset or the work ethics to have anything to show. So do not tell, show! That convinces me. And the next red flag for me is: "too much shittalk" if they talking crap about the competition and basically everybody else, get away as fast as possible because they will talk shit about you, too. Ruining your reputation and it is another sign for simply bad musicians or bad character. Sooner or later noboy will talk to them or work with them, and if you are one of them you are done. We played with a band, and their drummer was such an ass to everybody, this band was over after a few years and except one of the band every other musician in that band lost all reputation. It is over for them, nobody in my area wants to play gigs with them, or work with them, book them, hire them. The scene is smaller than you think, be nice, humble, speak with your work and not just talk. Be nice to people and find people with the same ambitions. Having a band that plays 3 shows a year and enjoys bandpracise and hanging out, that is cool as long as every body has the same ambitions. IF you want to grow gather people around you that want to grow also.
If Im not in a band, then I dont have friends. At least not those real tight friends who would suffer with you. Those only come from sports and music in my opinion
I’d love to play in the right band. 🙂 heck, I’d love to do the bedroom guitarist thing with a fellow guitar player. Writing on your own is fun but I miss bouncing ideas back and forth and whatnot.
I totally agree, but it seems as of today that the less you say, or just complete nonsense type of bands or singers, seem to have more success these days. And have nothing to say.
I've got a band, we're gonna be releasing our first song very soon. I'd say we've got most of things in this video sorted, and we've got loads of material that's worthy of releasing. Just need to get our first song fully recorded and mixed and we should have it out by the end of the month hopefully. 🤘
My friend and I both at arrived at the place where we wont work with anyone else unless they know how to use a Daw, even then they have to meet the other reqs that Trey lists here.
I used to have a romantic of idea of what being in a band would be like but the only way I’ve ever been able to make progress is by being a benevolent dictator. Someone has to provide direction.
Great video Trey! Just starting to put together a band to play originals I've been writing the past year or two (you played one on a friday livestream one time :) ) and this video was incredibly helpful. What's exciting is that I'm actually excited to invest in all the aspects you've discussed here with the guys I've found who are also excited. I'll definitely be signing up for a song writing course! Cheers from NZ
I feel like you are assuming that every band wants to be "successful" (whatever that means), or wants followers or large audiences, or a career. Banging out some tunes with a handful of people you like hanging out with (a.k.a. having fun) is a perfectly valid reason to start a band. If you don't want to listen to it, don't. Keep scrolling. Don't click the link. Don't go to the show.
I agree that it's a perfectly good reason (I said as much in the video) but also, haven't you ever had to sit through 3 local openers that weren't listed on the bill before that are all those kinds of bands?
@@treyxaviermusic of course I have. It doesn't mean that those bands shouldn't be there. Doesn't mean they aren't a real band. Doesn't mean they want any of the things you are saying bands should have. It certainly doesn't mean you have to watch them, or enjoy them. I think a better title and premise for your video would be something like "If you want your band to have a particular kind of success, this is what you need."
The first two bands I was in kind of spoiled me... good friends, talented musicians, reliable, willing to work hard and hustle to make the band successful. Since then it's been pretty difficult finding musicians willing to put in the time and effort. I've been doing the bedroom recording thing and it's super satisfying, even though I do occassionally miss playing shows.
Oh yeah. The great part is finding like minded musicians, each with something unique to add to the band, and the combination becomes greater than the sum of its individual parts. However, this is extremely rare, so if you are lucky enough to find this kind of awesome creative combination stick with it! It's a lot of fun when your band is making progress, everyone is creatively invested and the band actually is gaining traction and getting positive feedback from all your creative and promotional efforts. There are also potentially many bad parts - lack of commitment from members, personality clashes, and above all maintaining a solid lineup long enough through financial and personal stress to actually achieve something worthwhile. When it's working, it's an amazing experience, but when it's not it can be really draining and disappointing. If you love music and can find the right combination to make it work, being in a band can be awesome.
There's so much still to be done and so many bands not doing anything new. kind of a shame. I wish people would focus on making songs people enjoy rather than songs that only they enjoy. Yes the best probably make songs that they enjoy and don't think about it, but they don't have to; they have made so many songs and honed their taste and creation to the point that they don't have to worry about other people liking it, because they almost certainly will. And most musicians fail to go through that step (make songs/music ideas people enjoy), to become great. You should still like it, and want to see it in the world, but I feel like most musicians expect to make a mona lisa after having blended colours for years (practised). You've got to actually do the painting, and finish some and move on, and improve near every time, to become great. On top of that thinking that 4+ painters painting at the same time on the same thing, as newbies, is going to create a world-class image - that's another level of naivete. I think the solution is working on your skills and bringing them together, even tho 99.9% of bands have a concentration of artistry. Even Rammstein (referred to as democratic by some) has leaders (artists). The rare exceptions are some of the biggest bands, because the people are so talented and they got 'lucky' being good interpersonally inside the band and with a business guy etc. (self selective too, that the biggest bands contain some of the best talent).
This is some great insight based on your experience. I'm in a band called "RPE - The Rob Peck Experiement" and we just released our first single "Sektor 11". It would be great to have more videos like this for the bands just starting out!
@@treyxaviermusic I got to spend 3 weeks over there a few years back. Toured Odawara Castle and Mt. Fuji. I really liked the mix of ultramodern and ancient. I want to do the Mario Cart tour thru Tokyo next time.
The editing and the colors here are on point! I agree with everything you're saying here, but I don't see my time in my crappy band as 100% wasted. I've gained a ton of experience and I'm seeing what I don't like and what not to do. But I do still think about quitting almost every week.
I grew up playing in school wind and jazz bands. Always wanted to play in a metal band. Tried playing in garage bands just out of high school and it didn’t work out. Didn’t play with anyone for 10-15 years. Joined a band where we actually played really well and honestly it wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as I had always wanted it to be and I quit. A lot of it is because my work is super demanding and I have scheduling conflicts but also I think it’s because the songwriting didn’t involve me much and I think everyone else was more interested in being on stage (which is fine) while I was more interested in the creative part. Once upon a time I think I would’ve been way more into the “rock star life” but it’s logistically difficult and also it feels a little weird to dip your toe into that once you’re on the wrong side of 30 and you’ve got a career and a mortgage and responsibilities.
My band is called Beyond the Bleeding. We started out as a two-piece making Bullet For My Valentine covers, and stylistically it's still our biggest influence. The friend I started the project with moved out of town, and when I went to compose my own music I asked if I could use the name as it was his idea. He agreed. I've been focussing on the songwriting more, as it's gotten difficult to find band members that would stick for more than one rehearsal. Whether it be creative differences, unreliability or being a conspiracy theorist. I've seen em come and go for many different reasons. Recently someone declined an audition because he felt his playing wasn't up to par. It's just me and the bass player now, that I met at an open day for a conservatory. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed and he's quite young, but he takes his stuff seriously. He's good hang, and he takes feedback well at rehearsals. I need more people like that.
I'm trying to start a band, I already have all the songs of an album made, I just can't find anyone that would be willing to do it with me besides my best friend on vocals. Great video, it has helpful tips! I think the hardest part personally, after finding people, would to just get them on the same page on what we are trying to make and make something we all are proud of.
You’ve actually been helping my band on your live stream for… months now? MonsterPalace and I have been writing non-stop for a few months now. Thank you for everything Trey!
In almost 30 years, I am only just now finding a band where we are actually FRIENDS. This literally is a first for me. Before that, every band has always been a business relationship, and nothing more. Even than, some of those relationships have been so bad, that I actually QUIT music, TWICE. But with this current band, we sit around, and chat. We go to Denny's, and spend a good couple hours just chatting. We text the dumbest stuff in the group chat. We even have Tupperware parties with each other's guitars/pedals/etc to find what works best for our rigs. We actually enjoy spending time together.
That should be the last point in your list. "Find a band where you are FRIENDS." "Find a band you can go to late night Denny's with." Why did this take me 30 years to find?
@@ThatBaritoneGuitarGuy Its damn difficult! I alwayas compare starting a new artistic project to a new and fresh relationship, At the start its all romance and love, it is intense and exciting! Then after a while it gets a bit stale, you might have some fights, you have to work on yourself, on your relationship, maybe accept things you otherwise would never compromise on. You have to put a lot of effort in if you want it to work, longtime. And now immagine doing this not with one person, but with a group of ppl! It is hard :) But kudos for finding the right ppl! I am 38 now and kinda gave up on it :P
@@F3r3wulf And then, sometimes, it is not for lack of trying. With the directly-previous band, it was the two best friends, and then me. They had been best friends for 10+ years, and I was never anything more than the other guy. The band before that, there was one guy who "owned" the band. We played what HE wanted, the way HE wanted it played. He immediately dismissed any ideas, because they were not HIS ideas. No wonder that band imploded. So, I don't blame you for giving up on it. I have been there myself.
great video, been in a band and it was fun, but now just writing for fun and maybe someone else will like my songs and want to play them in their band.
You can't tell me what to do Trey.. Also, the drummer going down that route is a real mindfuck. Wonder what his band is for context, wonder if it was any good, I don't really agree with his ideals but I won't turn down some tunes. Ps. full Japan vlog when?
Not only is this a very clever sneaky vlog, it’s a very well informed perspective on musically finding yourself and what you actually bring to the table 🤌🏻👏🏻
