My crush was borrowing my pencil after she dragged me to mathtutoring afterschool because she didn't want to be there with no friends, she then told me "sorry I might use your pencil to scratch my Head, it's been itching all day" and I f!cking replied with "yeah I noticed"
Another one is to not tell ur friends because it could end up really badly. For me I told my friend and she told most of the people in my year/grade. She never talked to him before but now she is always talking to him. Whenever me and my crush talk alone talking or walking to class together she'll start running towards us and just start waffling about some random stuff. So moral of the story is not to tell your friends. Edit: I decided to talk to abt it to her and now she texts him at night and always interrupts me when I'm talking to him and is just getting worse. She apparently has a boyfriend now in a different school but I think she's lying to cover up that fact she likes him. I don't mind if she likes him because u can't control your feelings but at least be honest so we can both back off and just be friends.
I think the lesson learned here is more so to choose your friends more wisely. that isn't a friend, that's someone getting a kick out of intruding on your interests and playing social games
I actually just straight up confessed to my crush and I thought that it was all over and he would hate me. It's been 2 years now and we are very happy :))
The ex thing, at least in my experience, also shows you that if you ever break up with that person, that's how they'll talk about you. You'll be the crazy ex they're talking about
@@maqy01Yeah, if people are gonna bitch about others behind their backs, just don't bother cause that most likely means they're bitching about you aswell. That's one thing I learned from having fake friends.
Oh yeah, I stalk my crush on social media, she posts things and I found out stuff about her, so I use it as conversation topics without it seeming like I've been stalking her and it works.
best approach: stalk, never communicate, almost faint when they're around because you genuinely cant communicate like a normal human being, then judge them for dating a chick shorter than the one you're dating and lose interest
Yes. Agreed so much. I hate the people who are like, ‘My ex, they are just terrible. I absolutely hate them.’ That was once a person you loved, and just because you’d broke up, doesn’t mean you now think they are a trash person. I mean, if they cheated on you then I’d understand if you wouldn’t like them, I guess!
Well I mean if their ex really was terrible then they’re just telling how they feel. One of my exes I absolutely hate because of how awful he was, but the other ex is a wonderful person but it just didn’t work out. So I think that if a certain ex is a bad person, it’s ok to dislike them.
@@Plague_Doctor_MD Yes, totally agree with you. The ones I dislike most is the ones who had no problems with their ex, and are just disappointed about the break up and can’t stop talking about how so called trash their ex was.
@@spillurgutsz then you should've said, "that was the person you once loved". not everyone we love would treat us right and it's completely ok to talk about it.
The second one is so real. There's a guy from my school that has a crush on me and my house happens to be on his way to school. *He will purposefully wait for me in front of my house so we can go the rest of the way together, even though we never made plans to walk to school together*. I do very much feel smothered and it's actually a little creepy how he will go out of his way to literally stand in front of my home until I come out even though I never invited him to do so. And this all happened literally because I was just nice to him on the first day of school, I think. He's pretty unattractive by conventional standards, so I guess not many girls were nice to him before me, and now that I slightly acknowledged him he's immediately obsessed. He isn't even a bad friend, he's very funny and generally nice, but I wish he could get the hint that I'm not interested in anything more than a friendship and leave me be. He also sits next to me in three of our classes and whenever I feel stressed because of the work, he'll rub my back in a "comforting" way, even though I repeatedly told him not to touch me. I mean, I don't have to tell him twice in a day, if I tell him to stop, he does. But then he repeats it the next day and it's just so frustrating and awkward. I know he won't go farther than that and hurt me, he's not that typa guy (though even if he wanted to I could easily overpower him, he's shorter than me by far and built like a french frie). I don't know what to do at this point. This kinda turned into a vent, and I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get people to see how uncomfortable it can be for a person on the receiving side when someone sticks to them 24/7.
As a counselor who has had extensive trainings on domestic violence and intimate partner violence, I can tell you right now that when someone starts talking about how crazy their ex was (particularly if it was ALL of their exes…pretty coincidental, isn’t it?), my 🚩red flags 🚩 are automatically raised because it makes me wonder what is wrong with THEM. Of course, many times, it turns out that they did actually have a crazy ex. But, then again, particularly if it’s someone whose exes were all supposedly crazy, that makes me wonder who the crazy one is. This is a big tell for potential abusers. They will almost always shit talk their ex(es) in order to justify (even to themselves) their abusive behavior. Abusers and/or narcissists. Like I said, sometimes the ex is legitimately crazy. But, please also be cautious about the person and look out for any other signs that they might be a potentially abusive partner, such as: -They’re very controlling (this might start off as cute or endearing even, and make you feel like they really are just super into you, but it can be a huge 🚩red flag🚩) -They get jealous very easily (same as above, it might seem “cute” at first and some jealousy is normal and totally okay, but if they start making demands about going through your phone when you come home, constantly accuse you of flirting (or worse) with your coworker or classmate, and start making demands about who you are “allowed” to go out with-run 🏃 away because this is a huge 🚩red flag 🚩 and the end goal will eventually to isolate you from all of your friends and family and, Before you know it, you’re only allowed to spend time with your partner or it simply isn’t worth the trouble of having to argue with them. I know a lot of Jayus’ fan base is young and I wanted to share this with you all because it is extremely important information I wish someone would have told me when I was younger. If you want to learn more about abusive relationships, I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft’s book, “Why Does He Do That?” He actually has made it available for free online if you google it. And it’s not just about male abusers or heterosexual relationships, he just uses male pronouns for cohesion and readability and goes into detail about same sex relationships, as well. It’s just that, statistically, men are much more likely to be the abuser in a relationship. That’s not to say there aren’t many vile women out there (I’m looking at you, Amber Heard). Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. I’m always happy to share my knowledge and experience-whether it be my professional or personal-with people if I think it might help someone. Just remember, if you have a bad feeling about someone you are dating, trust your gut instinct!!! Chances are, you are right. ❤
I was about to call you a liar ablut being counselor, thought you were about to say that ex's arent usually crazy. Yea i agree that its weird if all the exs were bad but still, relationshios are a roll of dice because no one chooses crazy exs. It all depends on luck. Its why i dont think its wrong saying your exs were crazy. Even if you loved them. My sister is crazy, but youd be a fool to think i wouldnt take a bullet for her just because i said shes crazy. Just actually is lol I only take issue with relationship advice like this because it treats things too closesly to black and white, and life is not like that. Life is full of curve balls when it comes to people, Jayus literally just got hit by one that she couldnt even understand. It's why "dont judge a book by its cover" has a ridiculous amount of popularity. Heck even when you hace read halfway through a book theres still plot twist. Is what it is
q: for the counsellor … We’re not “in a relationship” if we’re just hooking up, are we? We’re just right-swipes, like, do girls think that counts?? App-sex doesn’t count. You can’t really have it both ways. You can’t go saying, “oh, watch out for ____, he’s such a f__#ckboy__, you’ll end up crying for weeks and he won’t even remember your name”, but then still hit me up in messages, like, I _do_ hear what you’re saying about me, pick a version. F#ckboys aren’t out there f’ing themselves, you know?? Also, why is _anyone_ crying, nobody’s dead, relax!!
@@Lucas-gm3bv I mean, it depends. Probably not, if you haven’t defined the relationship and had a talk stating that you’re mutually exclusive. If you’re just having sex, it is probably just a hookup. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, is something only you and the other person can say for certain, so take what I say with a grain of salt. If you’re spending most of your free time together, doing things together (eating meals, going on dates/outings, talk or text with each other about things other than when your next hook up will be, etc. ), then it’s possible that you are in a relationship but you guys just haven’t put a label on it. The important thing is-are you both okay with it being just sex, with no strings attached? If one of you has feelings for the other, yet the other one sees what you have as a booty call and nothing more, then I can tell you it most likely won’t end well. Can feelings eventually develop? Sure, it happens all the time. But, don’t expect it to because, oftentimes, people are happy just keeping it casual. Basically, it all boils down to having good communication and keeping those lines of communication open. Are you both interested in monogamy-only sleeping with each other? I’m not saying that monogamous relationships are the only way to have a relationship because many people have very happy and healthy polyamorous relationships IF ALL people involved are on board and there is a solid foundation of mutual trust and respect for one another. From what little you’ve told me, it honestly doesn’t sound like a relationship. The person you’re talking about sounds very immature if she’s talking about you behind your back like that. She may be saying those things in an attempt to keep others away from you because she’s jealous, but I’m just speculating. Anyways, at the end of the day, the only way you can know with absolutely certainty where your relationship stands (I use the word relationship loosely here-there are many types of relationships and most of them are not romantic) is by having an honest and open conversation where you both tell each other your expectations of the other in a romantic, exclusive relationship and find out if you’re both on the same page. But, like I said, from what you’ve told me, it sounds more like a hookup with someone who is emotionally immature. If she is interested in a relationship, talking shit behind your back is not a good way to go about showing you. I hope that was a little helpful for you and I wish you the best!
My uncle is dating a very controlling girlfriend who does stuff like go through his phone and stuff. He's been with her for years, but he would be better off with someone who treats him better.
@rowanmartin4397 eh it isn't anything that crazy. A crush is just an attraction to a person, but after the initial honeymoon phase your kinda back to where you were before you crushed on em if that makes sense.
@@rowanmartin4397Well It's a crazy and annoying feeling like you couldn't breath or there's a butterfly in your stomach. And i felt this few times already😅.
Lmao the last one is such a problem for me since I'm usually a quiet kid so people will tell me things they wouldn't tell anyone else, knowing I won't say anything or tell anyone and then proceed to forget that they told me
Lucky me that i need an emotional bond with someone to develop a crush 😂 yea anyways i tell them immediately in the manner of "hey listen, i have a crush on you. It is not a question and you don't have to respond to it if you feel uncomfortable but i just want to make you aware of the fact in case you think I'm getting too close for your liking" I want them to be aware because man it sucks when you think someone was a genuine friend and they start hitting on you the moment you are single. I don't want to be that person
The thing I don’t get about that is, do you want to develop a crush on a friend? And isn’t it emotionally safer to have crushes on people you just met where they don’t have stock in a platonic friendship yet?
@@gillianomotoso328 if I could choose then I'd absolutely love to but i need a bond to actually form a judgement about someone and i can't have crushes if I don't have an opinion of that person....
I also usually just walk up to ‘em and say: “Hey, we’ll always be friends, right?” and if they say yes, I say “cool, so… I like you, you don’t have to like me back, but if you don’t like me back we can still be friends right?”
The first time I approached my crush, she literally froze and couldn’t even say hi, and then someone immediately came and saved (or interrupted) the moment . We never saw each other again and I don’t even know what’s her voice tone like. It’s been 5 years.
The social media one is so true 😂 we all do it, but don't fkn say you've done it, if you know what school their mom went to through sm stalking, keep it go yaself! And if they tell you, act surprised 😂
Thanks for mentioning the last point. I love spying on people through social media, no matter if it's a guy or woman. I would do it. Especially with my crushes lol. Idk, it just makes me feel reserved and know in some way beforehand with who am I dealing with. Maybe I should become a detective one day 😂.
@Depressed_AnimeNerd 1: you still use xD 2: your name is lowkey cringe, depression isn't something to flaunt, mental illness isn't a competition.. but if it was, you'd win because you have a crush on a literal fictional chatacter- something with no depth.
There's this guy who has a crush on me. It was sweet when I heard, I didn't like him back and still don't. He's in my english class, so i was like, "Sweet, he'll probably be seen there and nowhere else." Thats when I realized hes at my lunch table. I didn't really care until I found him staring at me every lunch. He still does. How do I let him down lightly? Both of our parents are friends and my mom is telling me to let him down slowly but I really want him to stop staring at me and theres no good way to phrase it!!
If you really wanna cut of from this dude just go to him and say don't stare at me as a men we are really insecure about these things and he is too so if you point it out he won't be able to make eye contact with you ever again in his whole life sad but ture
You should talk to him about it that you're uncomfortable with him staring at you all the time. If you're not saying it in a rude way and not in public to embarrass him, it should be fine
These are all great advice.. personally I kinda Have to talk about one of my exes cause before I could do it myself, she outted me on NATIONALLY SYNDICATED RADIO, after we broke things off cause I wanted to come out. Sucked pond water when it happened, but it's a Great story now, especially since it's so indicative of how my life really is
Having a good memory and an extreme fear of silence is annoying because you remember shit they told you years ago and you once you remember you want to say it the moment the conversation slows down
If you are a stalky type person take the same path everyday. Don't actively seek them out, if they feel weirded out and go a different way they're probably seeing if you follow them. Take a path that they're on regularly and give a small smile or wave if you make eye contact regularly and keep walking. Online, don't talk about specific stuff. If you see they posted a review about a movie they watched, if you talk to them say a couple days later if they've seen any cool movies recently or something vaguely related to what they said it that post. Don't be the stalker type but if you are, refrain. These might help.
Me who stalked my crush on social media to find her other handles after she stopped using the one (1) platform we contacted each other on and now we're better friends than we were before 😂 Yeah I think I'm okay lol
Stalk the hell out of their social media, because they're doing the same thing to you. Eventually you'll need whatever ammunition against them you can find because love can be a fickle bitch. 💔😭
Exactly, we be making this stuff complicated. Girl: i wish he'd just let me know that he likes me Guy: i cant call her beautiful yet because then she'll know i like her and it will make her run away 1,000 games later Girl: we have hung out a lot, i wonder if he likes me still. God i wish he will just say it, ill faint! Guy: Y=mx+b but you must square it at 5am and then take square root of X and 3 to it so that we can then divide it all by the derivative 2x+3x^2. Why?
Stalking their social media isn’t an issue with celebrity crushes. Although, I still feel guilty for doing it. Not really their social media, if they don’t post there often, but more so what I find of them on fan accounts, Pinterest, etc. As for my “IRL” crush, though, I’ve suffered a lot with having to only see her “luckily”. So, really only seeing her in the one class we’re in, and the two rare instances I got to see her outside of class. (She’s in a relationship, by the way. I don’t have any chances to become more than a friend.)
The first one is so relatable… There’s this one guy who dates someone and when they break up he just suddenly hates them after. I know this because he dated two of my friends. The first one he broke up with he just suddenly hated her for no reason whatsoever. Then he got with someone else, and they just recently broke up. Now he’s talking crap about her and hates her. Now, he’s dating the first girl I talked about again and he just suddenly likes her again. He looks to be a decent boyfriend and all but after the breakup he’s just bad. He hates them for whatever reason he has to.
The social media one is so true 😅 I had a guy who liked me and stalked my social media a lot so I blocked him And he made another account to which I ignored, days later he called and started a conversation on things I never told him, it was awkward and I blocked him on everything
My last ex (still very good friends) knew exactly how bad my ex before him was because he got me out of that relationship. Helped me realize it was abusive as hell by just asking questions and letting me figure it out from there. There was a long time between both of them as well.
I asked my crush out when she invited me ti a date she rejected and said "This isint a dtae this is just a friend dinner"i ended up making her pay and i went to a alleyway and burnt the flowers she rejected from me
Me, who befriended my crush: Ok, I know I messed up on this, but now I can hang out with him. We did talk about our Ex's, but that was because he brought it up and then we switched topics.
The ex one is also true because they may realize that if all your exes are “crazy” then maybe not all the exes were the problem. This may or may not be true but some people do look this deep into it.
Bro I'm 15 and my ex "guy bestfriend" forced me to be in a relationship with him and commented about my body and stuff in front of everyone. And it was like a year ago... I hate relationships and stuff because I want to focus on my studies and career but this guy forced me to be his bestie and then eventually his girlfriend It was HORRIBLE. My current guy bestie saved me from him and got me out of that "relationship" and now I'm happy that I got a bestie like him
The first one is real! One of the main reasons I broke up with my ex is because he would NOT shut up about how terrible and ugly his ex was. “She’s so ugly I can’t believe I ever thought she was attractive” “she’s so bitchy, you’re so much better than her” all this shit talking only shows me what it would be like if i messed up. And all this shit talking only shows that you are still not over her and that you’re just trying to kill the feelings by insulting everything about your ex. Which at first I didn’t mind this, but ever since I started dating him, his ex has been more involved in my life than ever before. AND I USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER? Did I talk about this with him? 3 times. He just won’t stfu about how “bad” she was. She was so involved with his life that he once accidentally said her name when telling me he loved me when we first started dating. And to make matters worse, no matter how much he said he didn’t like her at all, he still used her name when talking about her instead of “my ex”. I know this doesn’t seem like a big problem, but if he hates her so much, why is he addressing her by name? He didn’t even know what my ex’s name was until he asked me
I'm getting all this great advice from jayus about how to act around my crush and deal with relationships. It's great! Now I'll just wait until I actually get a crush for the first time in my life lol
i know a lot about her that she didn’t tell me, my friend told me and i’m going to use this information in a very subtle way (favorite color/food etc.)
Uh oh... I do that all the time! Talk about the jerks I've dated. Then I end up realizing the newest guy is a jerk too. Plus, I end up having sex with them too soon and end up being treated like a booty call. It sucks. Even guy friends I've known for years will come out and say they wish they had of tried it on with me years ago. I've lost friendships because of guy friends crushing on me too. They take my friendliness for liking them back. Guess it's not a good idea to come across as damaged goods or "easy" 😂
You're not damaged goods because you've had sex with ppl. Even if it was more than a few or whatever, as long as you were safe about it and not toxic, that's your business and no one else's. Sorry, I know this is an older comment, I just feel like you were downing on yourself and it made me feel some type of way 😅 Hope you're doing well 😊
My problem is that im really good at remembering things about ppl even when they forgot they told me. ill just have these little details in the back of my head and sometimes i drop in the middle of a conversation that i know what they dressed up as for halloween in 2011 and get sideeyes bc „how do you even know that?“ girl you told me two months ago ok
He's an INFJ and so cute and charming. I've had a crush on him since fifth grade, but it was like the type of crush where you never expect them to like you back, but now he does. I'm learning that we don't get along very well. It's kind of a situationship, he calls me his fiance with other people, but when I asked him what we are, it's "just friends," and yet we still hold hands. One of my close friends also asked him and he said simply, "something." He had a crush on a girl and got rejected, but that was a year back so I'm not sure if it affected his answer. We don't have the best chemistry, but I still want to be more with him. Who's the manipulative one?
Forgive me if I get it wrong. With the context you mentioned, I think it's best to let it go. I don't think he's ready to have a real connection with you and it's not your fault. If a man truly loves you and wants to be with you, he wouldn't have held back and would ask you to be his girlfriend. It's best to focus on yourself and not limit your option. No matter how good he is and how happy you feel with him, if he doesn't feel like having commitment with you then he's not the one. Your comment was 6 months ago and I hope you're much happier now❤
The second one is something my ex friend needed to learn. He literally joined breakfast club to sit near me and came up to me all the time, I found it creepy. Found out a while later he has a gf in another city. Last weekend she broke up with him for like the 4th time and actually blocked him on everything.
I keep asking my crush on text if he likes peanut butter, he hasn’t answered but saw the text. And he also saw the video i sent him of some doll baby’s dancing 😂😭✨💅
When we talk about exs, I only have talked about 2. The one that made me realize how toxic I used to be, and the one that is a sex addict. I hope I'm not a toxic person anymore since I learn from my mistakes, and I talk about the sex addict because I don't want to have sex 24/7. I do also make it clear that I just genuinely don't have a huge desire for sex outside of that too.
Yes this is so true.. at first i thought we are just casual friends till he said can you stop talking abt him.. .. weve been talking in social media for 9 whole mos...and now im falling for him already lol
