We also need to bring back multi-generational households and grandmas/aunties helping with the grandkids to take pressure off mom and create a strong family social circle.
Yes so many mothers struggle with this. I am a peer counselor for new moms and many moms do not want the help of others because many of the multi generational women in their families don’t understand why you would want this lifestyle and they refuse to see it as good for children because to them it is an attack against how they raised us. We have education, ego and common sense problems to combat 😭
Maybe you have not noticed but the retirement age keeps getting bumped up higher and higher. Social security is drying up. People are working well into old age. Stay at home grandmas are more rare than they used to be given that it also required two incomes to raise their own children. The age of first time parents is steadily increasing therefore grandparents are older than they used to be. Aunties old enough to provide childcare are getting an education in high school or college, they are not just a convenient babysitter awaiting motherhood. Your solution is based on a bygone era that cannot simply be re-instated.
My friend did not work but she had two nannies who spent the majority of time with her children, especially since she travelled often with her husband. All three of her children have major psychological issues. High anxiety, disassociation, borderline personality and drug use. Some people may have looked at her life as glamorous, but it was dysfunctional and I’m not surprised her children are having these issues. So it’s not just working outside the home, it’s being absent emotionally from your children that can cause these issues.
I have a similar upbringing but was lucky I turned out "fine." Mom moved with dad to another country to pursue her career and his company. My grandmother convinced them that it's "better" for me in the long-run to be raised with my grandmother and the whole relatives(approx 20 ppl, and we all lived in the same neighborhood) than beige neglected by my Career driven parents and be placed in daycare all the time. Fast forward now, I have 2 sons, I feel these conflict of emotions, anger and gratefulness for my mom because "how could she leave me and onlymeet me once a year while she lived this glamorous life" and "I'm thankful I was raised by literally A WHOLE VILLAGE." It's confusing.
I had the best childhood and was raised by parents who were committed to mom being at home. I was a single mom who primarily raised my kids at home and my youngest was 4 when he had to be left with a sitter. It traumatized both of us. But I raised my children to know the value of parenting little ones. My two sons have been exemplary in protecting and providing so that the mothers of their children could then be with, nurture and care for the little ones. I am so very proud of them. They know the enormous role they play in coparenting their children and In Addition to providing of protecting they spend priceless time with their little ones themselves. Fathers are so very very and vitally important. This is the answer rather than the state being Responsible. And if that means addressing economic disparity and more access to education for providing fathers that is an answer.
Actually, the children of lesbian parents outperform the children of hetero parents. So it looks like two parents, mom plus anyone, can do a better job than hetero couples.
Children are beautiful. But their health and well being is not a priority over money in our society it feels like. In my world, mothers are not respected or valued enough to support. My father left my mom multiple times. My mom prioritized our well-being at the expense of her career and it still hurts me to see her struggle. Now I’m a mother, my in-laws are pushing me to go back to work. And claiming that they can take care of my 5 month old. It pulls against every grain in my body to accept their help… as much as I am thankful. My instinct is that I need my baby to be happy and I think it would hurt me so badly to leave and not know that my child’s needs are being met. It makes me angry at my in-laws for pushing me out and guilty all around because I know many mothers go through this struggle and would love grandparents to help. I will be telling my job I can’t go back… wish me luck
@@strawberryfieldsforever1475 I had the same-although it’s more seen as a given that my (Asian) MIL would stay with my baby while I worked. It just did not feel right at all. I could not justify in my mind someone else raising my child while I was away at work-grandparent or not. Best decision was to stay home with my kiddos. I make sacrifices by not going on the vacations I’d like to go on, or buy the latest fashions, etc., but those are small (superficial) sacrifices in the end. I have found my tribe of mamas and grandmas that support me in my decision to stay home and raise my kids and it’s been a big help.
I stayed home with our 3 sons. We didn't have much money but I was home to manage what we did have and our boys had safe and secure childhoods. They want to give their kids the same life of having their mama at home.
In the 1980's, starting at age 25, My mom was essentially used as a test case for psych meds by government doctors through military healthcare. Her diagnosis and prescription changed yearly or more. My dad just farmed her out to them. I always sensed that she didn't really need the shit. She was disturbed after her own mom's death and had a mental breakdown. Most people have one in their twenties or at some point. All she really needed was some stability, friends, exercise and more down to earth solutions. She passed in state housing at the age of sixty. I know I'm biased but she was a cultural force for good and not only I but the world lost something in this overreach and profiteering. Don't be so quick to medicate kids.
"... We are raising a population of ill young people." Thank you John for this fabulous interview, it re-affirms my lifelong personal journey of seeking answers to the 'hard questions' that continues to this day, and now, because of the intelligence and wisdom of people such as Erica, and so many others I have come into contact with, my burden is lessened in terms of my rupture legacy to my only child, my daughter Jess, and my repair journey has, and will always continue to be, my priority to her.
The behaviour I observe in the Malls, of children establishing their rights over the parents, I question ‘who is the parent’. Parents are in great need of support and education!!!!!!!
Religion is so much more than imagination during difficult times and a community for support. much great stuff said, so sad that bit seems misunderstood
39:10 Forget “paid maternity leave” women need to get married and have children and support their husband’s career/business supporting the family! We ALL lose, but especially kids, because families are broken and men and women are not doing their duty in marriage.
Trying to convince a feminist mother of the importance of their child rearing skills over the first 3 years (I prefer 5) was an impossibility in the early 90s and beyond. I wish I was more progressive in regards to my role in fatherhood at the time, as I still saw the woman as the most important primary carer in those early years and myself as the support parent for her and the breadwinner as our culture still demanded. How wrong I was.
And in the nuclear family, this did happen. And as the child becomes more independent then the child raiser can take on external activities. But now nuclear families are only one in ten.
By their actual husbands and fathers of their children. We don't need daddy government to pay mothers to be mothers. We need the full nuclear family, and the dad to take care of the family.
@Mousicaddict Yes, I assumed a traditional nuclear family; mother, father and their children. To maintain the standard of living we've grown used to, both parents need to work. If we wish our country and society to survive, then I suggest we adopt a system like that found in Hungary. If not, we will be handing this country over to people from other lands.
I really enjoy this topic and very important things are being discussed. I was brought up in a family that my mother was a stay at home mom and she loved her children. Erica Komisar is a very smart lady and must be a great mother!
I would even go so far as to say that public school should be a last resort for divorced parents. Private and homeschool are the only safe options these days.
My kids both got great public school educations- they were well-prepared for college and graduated with honors. They both have Masters Degrees. Homeschooling can be a benefit when handled by capable parents but many parents attempting to home-school now that it is becoming more popular, are not capable. Sitting in front of a computer all day is a sad excuse for an education. Private school is great if you can afford it and charter schools are largely a scam in that they hand-pick their students making it appear that they are more successful than public schools. They also have no obligation to educate the disabled.
It’s sad that she even had to write this book to educate people on being good parents! I’ve always been shocked at how many mothers don’t know that the first three to five years IS the determining factor of a person’s later success in life from then on! This is NOT best given by a caregiver in daycare who has a caregiver-to-baby ratio of 1 to 4 or 1 to 5 or even worse!! I was a stay at home mom of triplets, and I tell you that it was very challenging to get all of their needs met because I usually had no outside help, and all day I would take care of baby 1, then baby 2, then baby 3, then back to baby 1 again, and so on, all day, every day! Plus, my husband and I divorced when they were 4 months old and he wasn’t there to help from then on. So I needed to go back to work as a teacher for the last three months of the school year, after five months off. So I hired two babysitters, and one of them became hostile and therefore called Child Protective Services to be vindictive when I had to fire her. My triplets were 7 months old by then. Well, so they sent 3 people over when I was at work. (One for each baby!! ☹️😥) Each one of the workers sincerely wondered why she had made a complaint, because they said my triplets looked like the happiest, healthiest babies they’d ever seen! 😊 They even came over again later as a follow up visit and apologized to me that they had been required to make that first visit because of the “fake” call from the disgruntled babysitter! My “formula” since their birth was this: Satisfy their needs as soon as humanly possible, never leave them crying, pick them up when they cry, hold them lots, smile and make eye contact all the day time, feed them the moment they’re hungry and allow THE BABIES to determine how much they want to eat (I nursed them all for a year or more and also bottle fed them, since there were three! I started them all on baby food at age 7 and a half months, feeding them at the same time), and I would talk to them in positive, happy tones of voices (DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR LANGUAGE - this is how they learn), took them out for a walk in our triple stroller every day, and IF I could find friends or people from church to help me, I let them help! And whenever I smelled a stinky diaper, change them that very moment. I think my babies sensed that I was so very happy to have them! I’d had to patiently wait for 13 years to be expecting for my third time, because that’s how old my daughter was when they were born, and I also had a son who was three years older than that, age 16. I’m sure that being so happy to finally have them made me a better mother! Actually all 5 births were the best day of my life! Even though the triplets were a planned c-section! When I was 20, I was looking so forward to being a mother some day soon! I had to wait until I was 27 to be a first time mom! That was way too long for me! I treated all my babies as I described above. They were and are my greatest gifts from God!
@@kutie216 marxsists want yo abolish the nuclear family since it upholds private ownserhip of children which also upholds whiteness which is a code word for capitalism, not referring to white skin people.
"I always back up what I'm saying by research, jon" Pretty rich coming from someone who still believes women are paid less for the same job. Jon, you're losing your grip on reality mate. I'm sure she never read the boy crisis.
Mothers encourage too much emotion by helicopter parenting. That is why feminism is to blame ENTIRELY for the mental decay of children. This wasn't an issue when fathers weren't alienated from their children.
Agreed. I don't understand why you have kids if you just hand them off to someone else. It's like checking off boxes on some mind hive to do list. Absolutely nuts. Sometimes you have to set priorities. We can all see who chooses what...
All ‘Western’ Babies have digestive issues, not all have digestive issues. Higher autism in boys can also be attributed to the chemical reaction of Mercury mixing with testosterone, like mixing with aluminium, this chemical reaction in the brain is incredibly destructive receding synapses and neurones on contact…. hence lower survival rate and Higher autism rates. From 1/10,000 in 1960 to 2000, 1/75 and soon to be 1/5. the dramatic increase in heavy metal brain toxicity.
What a great guest. Framed so many things In either known, discovered or suspected to be true. Sad though to know how many children would be emotionally crippled by the 'woke' generation despite the fact we are already scientifically so advanced in knowing this damage is happening.
She is doing a well thought out discussion but as someone pointedout in the comments, Dr.Komisar would be much more refined on her perspective and her research by having a counterpart on the opposite gender likely from the Men's Rights Movement.
@@ianbuttery8693 try learning about the family and divorce courts. You may find the necessity of such movements. Be socially aware or you want how the empowered is doing things right now.
@@EarthForces My apologies EarthForces, I really should have added (sarc) to the end of my comment. I listen to "girl write what" for many years and are well and truly aware of how distorted the gender war has become. ru-vid.com
@@ianbuttery8693 damn. Truly we live in a time even sarcasm is hard to guess. Its okay. I guess being so engaged in comments when I got the time, I expect leftists on it. 😅
@@EarthForces Forty years ago 70% of families were married, now it's about 10%. Over the past ten years, I've watched 3 nephews go through the family courts, not pretty! And one can only guess/wonder where the West is going to end up? I fear society is already over the cliff without even knowing what happened. The next 10 years will prove educational.
No doubt if the parents won't be the caretaker, then grandparents would be the best. The constant turn over rate in child care centers prevent the child from developing crucial connections necessary for healthy development.
Soviet playbook: get women out of the home, children raised in creches - and you have the nation by the short hairs. Much as I rejoice at the opportunities open to women - professions hitherto male only - I think time has come to balance the scales and give men better opportunities and STOP demonising masculinity.
I think there is an overlooked element which has not been mentioned. The school system has changed so much that kids are being forced to critical thinking when they don’t have the ability to do so.
This info needs to reach people BEFORE they even think about having kids❤ SO important yet nothing like this is taught in school. Perhaps because the medical system profits from having sick people 😢
The best solution to these problems is that children need two parents in the household !! Stop chasing fathers away and let them be there for their children too !! Children perform better with dads around !!
Also women rights are thrown under the buss. You can’t even choose to stay with your baby any longer. Society doesn’t accept it and husbands expects you to bring money.
I am listening to this and saying WOW! Erika's perspective is sounding really informed with a lot of research of this fundamental problem. Then at 32:54 she contradicts everything she touts! Just like most of the over-educated "experts".
If the children are worried about 'Climate Change" it's because the only concrete answer seems to be paying money (carbon taxes or credits) Is even just one country teaching them how to grow a garden and raise animals with the regenerative process? Are they learning to not worship the clothing designers and retail stores and instead recycle and be proud of wearing used clothing? No, they are taught to consume, is consuming good for the environment? Are we teaching them to recycle building materials and find pride in the repurposing process. We are teaching them that everything they see in the cartoons, movies and the music industry is "real" and important.
Yikes, on a few different levels. I hope the take home lesson is be available to your kids and give them plenty of love and attention along with discipline to help them learn a good path.
Now you have to ask how much immunization also contribute to this, which is what I think, if you look back you will see these issue rise as the scheduled number of immunizations and variety have risen.
The following programme discusses findings from a single group of 1037 NZ citizens who are the most scintifically studied group in the world, "Predict My Future: The Science of Us". In depth information from Neuroscience research conducted in NZ with regards to babies, is titled, "Understand your brain - The first 1000 days" by Nathan Wallace.
Im a SAHM of a one year old, having our next baby in a couple weeks. We have hired a night nanny for our newborn. This conversation has made me second guess my decision. It would only be for 1-3 months, depending on newborn’s sleep progress. Should I not use a night nanny? Is any number of nights ok? Maybe not 5-7 nights/week but 1-3?
I think she talks about sleep training too, not needed. Nothing wrong with having help, just not turning the baby over to the nanny seems to be the message. You need help during those first weeks, whether it’s food, cleaning as one is healing.
I like just about everything she says with one exception: global warming. I do not believe now and will never believe it is caused by man. 2 thirds of the earth is covered with water where hardly no people live and there are vast regions in the earth where there are no people, no factories, no power plants, etc. The atmosphere is just too great that surrounds the earth and man is such a small part in the big scope of things.
I agree with you. She is not climatologist and has no more authority in that field that anyone in the street. This being said, she is great in her field.
Omg i have a baby like that. Always came up as colic which it wasnt. Found another thing its called 12 signs of a high needs baby. She has extreme anxiety and people just this shes shy but it affects her daily she is 3 and has been so hard since 2 weeks old. Our family has trauma but was never truly dealt with. And ive alway seen boys as mentally weaker
Feminism seems to say a lot about her...what about the father(ism) is there any shared responsibility/relationship... all to often it seems one sided and the husband seems to be not essentially a part of relationship...nor famiglie...nor inevitably the child/children seem to be a bothersome to a feminist movement...as they are considered as only a birther today, at least by the recent definition of Democrats in U.S. Congress representatives 🙄🤪🤯🤔🤫🤥🤥🤥's
@4:10 You should be thinking about what you're sacrificing. agreed. Sacrificing your children's emotional/psychological health is not a valid choice, and it never should have been presented as if it were. It shouldn't have been, choose to provide your children with their needs or choose to make a lot of money while your children undergo irreparable psychological damage. It should have been, do what is best for your children, family, and society.
Me thinketh imagine an Australia if it had a Prime Minister with the., wisdom, experience and integrity of..........John Anderson!@!?😉🙂 P.S. It's no longer about left and right It's all about., Right and.........Wrong!@!?😜😉
Please-conservative policies that keep wages low, favor corporations, make cuts to social programs that help children in need, balk at any suggestion of affordable health care or daycare-those policies hurt children. If you care about ALL children then understand that privatizing education will leave all the children already at a disadvantage even more in the lurch. Private schools are all competing to get only the best students, the ones who will have the best academic outcomes, reflect well on their business and bring more profit. They don’t have to provide transportation so if you are a kid whose parents don’t have a reliable car you are out of luck-no school choice for you. If you care about disabled children, understand that private schools,unlike public ones, have NO obligation to educate disabled children. So no school choice for them either. Sorry if the old days are gone, when one income was sufficient enough to support a family, maybe send the kids to college one day and have enough to retire. Those days are not coming back. Multi generation households can’t be what they once were-Grandma and Grandpa have to work into old age now. Conservatives don’t have any answers-just bemoaning a lost past era and blaming liberals somehow for society’s ills.
Look at this man more concerned about the baby crisis than these babies mothers. Women have become the black widows of society, cold and harsh. Quite scary actually.
The biggest reason for problems with their children ,is they are having their children very late in the reproduction game !! Children are found to have more health issues when born so late !! They are more likely to develop autism ,mental issues ,a higher chance of deformity and other issues !!
Yeah, who would have predicted this outcome? I mean, other than all those old guys in the 1800s with long beards in sepia toned photographs that were written off as just hateful. Other than those guys.
Great episode 👍🏼😊 - The religion part only works if you fit the mold. Just as we have seen in the woke “religion.” So anyone who don’t fit the mold aren’t welcome. Unless they force themselves to put on a mask and follow in everyone else’s step. Of course there are more liberal branches of religion, where it would be easier to be accepted as who you are. However I don’t think it’s a smart idea to romanticize how much “better” it was when religion was a more predominant part of many people’s life. Also, regarding the autism part. There’s many wonderful things that comes with being on the autism spectrum. Awesome ideas, inventions, music and litterateur. The ability to hyper-focus, the ability to feel things on a completely other level! I myself am on the spectrum, yes, I do have an autism diagnosis, which I got as an adulthood. In some ways it would obviously have been more ideal if I had gotten it when I was a child. However I am happy that I finally got it. It did in many ways answer a lot of questions for me and helped me make sense of some of the challenges I have had and have. But I wouldn’t be without it. I love being able to feel so strongly, to hyper-focus, my endless curiosity for life, people and all the big questions that, and all the other things that I find very gratifying and interesting because of my autism. If I was brought up in a more religious setting, I would not have been around in that setting for long. You can have faith, and have community without the religious part. I enjoy going to church every now and then, but my gosh, I would go nuts if anyone would try to fit me in into a mold! Or wasn’t interested in having conversations about all the nuances in life, all the different interpretations of religion. - Nope, not interested in that. Also, I cannot stand how black or white the mindset of many religions people are. No nuance. Same with most politicians. Nah, I’m good, thanks. 😊
Growing up I did not spend much time with my mother who worked nights and slept days. She did what she had to in order to support us. It was not ideal but I understand why it had to be that way. I am very nurturing towards my own kids and they have always been my number one concern in life above all else period. I am there for them whenever, whatever, always and they know that. I am sure many other women who shared my childhood experience have also become devoted mothers. So there goes your theory. Feminism didn’t hurt children. Look into how many children were neglected long before feminism- they were turned into housemaids, farm-hands,factory workers. Kids had it worse before feminism. Quit trying to live on a cloud.
She made good cogent points and the data is also out there. Her label is somewhat an ironic because what she thought label meant is directly opposed to her actually good perspective. Listening to her made me point her out as a Classical Liberal yet still a statist.
@@deuteriummeridian8998 yet feminism is like an ed Sheehan album. I never bought an album but i know all of its lyrics, because it is blasted on repeat in mainstream. What do you understand of men's issues...? Exactly. Maybe it's you who should do more listening to taboo issues, or not. Mens issues will very likely come for your son, brother, father, cousin etc.. ignore them and demonise them at your own family peril friend, makes no difference to me. I'm aware of the traps laid deliberately for men in the West, so can navigate safely, you?
@UC14FrujsTe1-CJmna1RgDFg no, it's a way to test if my comment was shadowbanned by youtube. But because your clearly a blue pill troll, I'm sure that's never occurred to you Peter. Little note, censorship will come for you soon, maybe not yet, but soon. You can tell who is the tyrant by whom they choose to censor. I.e, criticism of xx, illegal in some countries, criticism of men, systematically supported by both men and women. Enjoy what little freedoms you have left, pleb.
Why are there no people with disabilities on you"re so cold show Mr Anderson? Is it that you elites have a problem with these issues? And why have a RU-vid channel is it too help, hinder or deaminase mornoratey group's?