Dr. Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté: "Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children" 

Brilliant video. Not enough is out there about parent-adult child dynamics. When it's unacknowledged it can cripple lives. An insidious dynamic for many women is to sabotage their success and happiness out of guilt that they are leaving their mothers behind and abandoning them to their disappointments, unresolved traumas, and unlived potential, because they feel responsible for all of it. This is a partly a product of our isolating, patriarchal society that does not support parents in their parenting, and convinces women that they have the monopoly on caregiving. It's also a product of parents being unaware that their own traumatising childhoods can cripple their children despite their best intentions.

Fascinating discussion. Interesting that Gabor used the word 'narcissistic' once, but this was not discussed. I admire how Gabor and Daniel are working through their relationship. Really important for anyone watching to remember that in families involving narcissistic parents, this is not possible. Narcissistic parents do not unconditionally live their children and any adult child's attempts to resolve the relationship will only end in hurt and more pain for the adult child. This is so important. Narcissists are hard wired in believing there is nothing wrong with them and the blame sits elsewhere. There is nothing can be done to change that and only no or very limited contact is possible with narcissistic parents....

Gabor Mate has been so pivotal in my journey as woman, daughter, sister, friend, wife, girlfriend, teammate lastly maybe, individual. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I'm a grown woman and I with out my tribe. I crave my tribe. I seek my tribe. Bucket list? To work and study under Gabor Mate. Ok universe! It's out there.

Why doesn't this have over a billion views? Incredible work here.

yep, I've lived on the other side of the world from my parents for 7 years now and I'm still trying to .... work things out with my parents. thanks for sharing.

Father and Son are Vulnerable ,Open, Courageous,facing their truth ...there is no attachment to people judging them .. Wow !!! Living their authentic life is more important !!!!

So incredible! I had no idea my past trauma in childhood was so profound that has unconsciously led my life. I can see this in my relationship with my daughter, who is 35. I chose relationship but not authenticity....two totally different arenas. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your authenticity.

Thank you both for taking such a risk, and letting the rawness of interpersonal dynamic be seen in action - there is something so powerful and alive in that! Daniel, I loved the way you rallied, and came back into your centre, at 'that moment' (the 'don't talk too long' moment). Had it been me in your place, I would have felt pain (and then anger!) as well - and only SOME of it would be the result of thinking the other person should be different. The rest, in my opinion, would be legitimate suffering/life energy, from a wound having been touched, and a need going unmet - and in my experience, these feelings need to be breathed through and fully met - not 'thought away' as erroneous.

Over the years, I have thought about how children need good adult role models. As many as they can get. Aunts, Uncles, teachers etc. Children need this as much possible for their development, and to give parents a break as much as possible. That is challenging in a society like this.

It is such a privilege to be privy to this conversation and workshop. An honour. Thank you! My heart feels lighter. I feel healthier in my love of my Self and my grown son. Healing.

I don’t know why tears are streaming down my cheeks. This deeply raw and vulnerable conversation between a son and father. How I wish I knew about this years ago. I would have made better decisions as a parent.

Eternally grateful for this video. THANK YOU !!!

Hilarious, tender and profound

Fascinating, thank you for sharing your relationship dynamic.

Thank you for some amazing and beautiful insights and for helping provide a map forward for those of us who feel a bit lost at times.

I'm thankful. Thank you Daniel and Gabor, Thank you Gabor and Daniel. ....Daniel and Gabor is what contributes to Daniel's brilliancy. ...Gabor and Daniel is what contributes to Gabor's brilliancy. They both are so funny! Hillarious. "Like father like son," goes the saying. Well, guess what! "Like son Like father" is adequatly said 💗

This was insightful, wonderful and thought provoking. Thank you.

Young man, your father is a GENIUS....As are you. i hope i can learn from this, or put it in to practice, if even a little bit...

I loved Gabor even more when he sat cross legged in his chair ❤

The rarity of those moments of grace, the "Hello Again" is really sad!

Beautiful thank you

This was a brilliant event! Thank you, Gabor and Daniel for being so brutally honest and vulnerable - I learned so much as an adult daughter! And thank you, Maria, for being such an awesome interviewer!

This is brilliant Dr Gabor ' do you want a relationship or Authenticity '

I wish I could get our core family to participate and learn these things...

1:32:28 „Treating it not like it‘s 50:50 but like it’s 100:100. And the only 100 I can control is mine.“

My children wished they had grown up in a normal mixed up family, they didn't, but now I am being treated & it is changing, & all is opened

Gabor is a seeker . On the subject of aspiring to the ideals of enlightenment . He’s been a seeker and in that process it’s a journey , as he said it’s a process . One that many of us are going through , as like Gabor we want release from suffering and causing others to suffer . A 10 day vipassana Meditation course might be great to do . I think both you guys would gain a lot from such a course . In that the ability to be in the moment is heightened by the intense practise over 10 days , which can be helpful in this ‘ process’ . It’s what you are doing already ; observation of the now .

I think it is a rare phenomenon for a human being to be able to walk the walk 24/7 and continue to live the roles of spouse/parent etc ... the worldly and natural demands require that we can not 'hold' that perfection ... Jesus - Buddha - many Ascended Masters but not for the majority .... to be able to walk the walk even a little bit each day is miraculous - count it a huge accomplishment Dr. Mate'.

I liked Daniel’s riffing. 😉 It was helpful for me when thinking about how to deal with my mother (and also my son). XOXO

This is definitely interesting 🌸 -it’s the speaking on what we don’t often feel comfortable or able to speak about. 💜 I think regardless* of the parenting there is no getting out of this parent/child relationship unscathed. The symbiotic emotional connection begins in the womb And, it gets rebelled against at various points. This is like the unavoidable reality or truth we as child or parents can’t avoid or find away around, that we must find our way thru. (As they say) We always are fighting or dancing with our own need-to... But it’s true must people find it difficult to take the personal feelings or hurt ego out of the behavior dynamics to actually talk about the patterns. Many Blessings💕 The pattern of criticism or having to say something that can be felt as critical is a behavior pattern learned and recycled w/o thght it seems. Yet it’s still hard to continue to deal with, even knowing it’s this thoughtless behavior pattern loop. Much luv!

42:49 “In this society, and this is not an ideal society for parenting. And let me just say finally about parenting in this culture. Part of the reason it’s so hard it’s because parents have way too much responsibility. They’re way too important. They’re way too important. If you look at how human beings are meant to be parented and if you look at the research on the optimal parenting environment it’s not the nuclear family. …and all that time until now we were parented in large groups, the tribe, the clan, the extended family, the community. That’s the natural unit of parenting as far as human evolution is concerned.” ~Dr Gabor Mate

1:03:51 So good. Very well described. Still. It takes two to tango.

I wonder what conversation they had after this😂 ((No but actually I think it added a great deal of deeper understanding ))

was the second part also filmed?

Feelings and needs are explored and form the basis of nonviolent communication, as created Dr.Marshall Rosenberg, psychologist.

Omg, my Dad had me call him by his 1st name too, i was about 11. It felt so alien and I couldnt do it. It caused me to just speak and not use his name at all and to others I would describe him as father, and applied the same way of being with my mum.

He's just Grumpy Gabor! Ha! Made me laugh out loud.

53 sec. in, liked and subscribed

51:55 riiiiight... I have so much to learn

tough to be in the shadow of greats....go own path and "be best"

Where can I find the video of the day 2 of the workshop?

2016 Vancouver - The 80s childhood periode of Daniel en his father dr. Gabor Maté

Triangulation at 5 minutes took me out , lovely relationship

real men

Is anybody else oddly relieved that Dr Maté also struggles with parenting stuff?

first born is the Practice child

❤️

The leg game in this video is strong :D

Daniel, in another forty years a different understanding of your parents will occur. He was only being the parent that he had learned to be from his parents. Daniel, also you think you are in control, but you are not. You can only be who and what you are, just like your father.

Daniel is very well spoken and inteligent, but his father is really special.An academic, pioneer in trauma, extremely calm.Daniel seems very keen to please his father and make him proud of. I agree with Gabor , Daniel speaks for way too long and the swear words were not entirely appropriate for the event.

Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Everyone learns on the job. I wonder the thoughts of Daniels son, as to how he’s fairing as a father. How’s that working out? When is it ok to let the resentment go? Everyone is just trying to do the best they know how.

Why Dr Mate never quotes the Psychoanalysts and takes words and thoughts as they were his...? Projection, unconciouss, repression, defense mechanism, and so on? Neves quotes Winnicott, M. Miller or M. Klein??? He says he sees the projection of parents on his children and does not quote Ana Freud???

Wow, as Daniel went back to the seat, Gabor did not even look at him! O well

its time for me to pick up the phone, its been years since ive spoken with my son, i dont know what im going to say but i no longer feel the need to be right , thank you for your openess

Gabor and Daniel: Please do more programs like this together. As a parent of two adult children I am trying qo hard to learn. This is such a great resource and has brought so much understanding. Please keep up this great work.

What a wonder and unique thing to watch a family open themselves up to the world in order to help others. Thank you Mate family

Incredible courage observed by both Gabor and Daniel. I was quite moved by both what was verbally and non-verbally stated and unstated. What a rarity to see such father-son authenticity in public. Thank all of you for this forum, and to RU-vid for its availability. I am truly moved.

I am so thankful to have found Dr. Gabor. What a incredible man. I've been learning from his teachings. He's brilliant!👍 Thank you Dr.

53:54 „very few children are allowed the luxury of being both in relationship and being authentic.“

Daniel said "parents provide unconditional love" but not all parents do ... for example some parents have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or other disorders and so are incapable of loving or caring for others.

The most honest, most raw, most vulnerable, most compassionate video ive watched on youtube, no joke. Its was all those things and even uncomfortable. Blows these modern hippy commune societies totally into reality. Awesomeness.

I was totally addicted listening to Gabor and his wonderful words of wisdom and now his wonderful son Daniel steps on the scene. My life is changing. Thank you guys. ❤️❤️

I wanted my kids to call me by my name, probably at the same time you did, Gabor Mate. My son looked at me and said 'but no-one will know you're our Mum'. End of discussion.

What an incredibly courageous open conversation which will forever shift the way I relate to my parent and my adult children.

1:53:04 „Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Therein lies the peace of God.“

I wished dysfunctional people would be responsible and stopped having kids.... it’s such a tragedy to pass down these flaws to future generations and cause more problems to society... this pressure to have kids just for the heck of it is doing more damage than good:(

AMEN! I wish I had been more aware of all this from the moment I carried my children! It is all very subconcious, all the hurt and carried over projections, and it takes a lifetime to really know who we are and figure things out. The one thing I have trouble with is GUILT. In my situation, I was a victim of childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I then had partners who were equally abusive and messed up. I raised my children completely on my own from the time they were young toddlers BUT I spent many years healing and struggling with the past while trying to provide a better outcome for my children. I may have succeeded in raising them without the abuse I endured but the risidual effects have always certainly been present...and that is where my guilt stems from. It is hardest to forgive myself for the choices I subconciously made, even though I am aware of them now. Dr. Gabor is a God send and my hope is that new parents everywhere will have access to his knowledge and insight...before their kids are grown!

I don't write many comments on youtube but I feel like I have to write something after watching this. The whole talk was amazing (THANK U BOTH!) but the "you were talking too much" moment was the most important for me. I watched it several times. It brought up some big existential questioning in me. It was almost surreal yet soo familiar... Here are 2 amazing human beings, who have done so much work within them self and know about how life or death (as Daniel said while he was "talking too much") important it is to "reprogram" our self in order to not suffer so much, to not remain in this victim of circumstances mode and sabotage/wreck our own lives and the lives of people around us(our kids)...all the beautiful things they were both saying....all the things Gabor has been saying for years and is SO good at saying....and then as his son explains this (very well spoken in my opinion, to the point, not "not much", with humour and humility), Gabor gets triggered and he just can't help but to put his son down in front of everybody. Its like he became possessed. With all his well intentioned talk, his energy was very dark at that moment and made everyone uncomfortable (the woman and people in the audience were trying to laugh it off as people often do and move on quickly as always happens). Daniel, I felt your pain at that moment. I felt it in my whole body. There is that moment of utter hopelessness and estrangement when something drops inside and you begin to choke on something that is unswallowble but that you had to swallow your whole life. You handled it so well!!! Wow, just wow. You have come far on your journey my friend! When I watched it the second time I cried. I couldn't help but ask my self something like: If these "enlightened" people (lets face it you guys are more often in those realms than high percentage of the population), WHILE they are talking about the very issue of working on them selfs to shift their mode of being and relating to one another, SUDDENLY (as thou at a press of a button or trigger) revert to the same old program, can we (humanity...i know its a big question that can't be answered) REALLY change? Are we just giving our selfs bandaids with intellectual crutches? Gabor mentioned the intellectual enlightenment. I know this very well in my own journey. I could probably give lectures about how to reprogram one self, I can go into biology, physics, history, psychology, evolution....blablabla of it all, I can explain all the mechanisms and the logic of how I MUST change them in order to survive the hell inside and outside , but then at the press of this FUCKING magic button (black magic), I become the same old idiot and the shit behaviour just plays it self out thru me (even when Im aware of it happening). I become some kind of a vessel and the energy just goes thru, but its NOT ME. (my dogs sense it, they know when I'm not me) I hurt my self, I hurt my loved ones, I betray my own ideal that I hold SO close to my heart everyday. WHY WHY WHY does this happen? I know there is no answer. I hope its not coming out too dramatic....but I think many people (especially who watch videos like this) will feel what Im trying to express... Also I don't mean to suggest that its some kind of black magic that possesses us (even thou I used those terms). That would mean victim mode again. Not taking responsibility. But I don't know how else to describe this FORCE that takes over and is so destructive. There are many names for it, all can be questioned, but whatever it is, IT IS REAL because the wreck it creates in our lives is real. I have dedicated my life to navigate this force. To know it. To feel it. To sit with it every day and try to understand its purpose. Maybe its pushing me towards my evolution as a human being. Im moving towards simplicity which reminds me of one of my favourite quotes: In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. -Henry David Thoreau (theres more to that quote, check it out www.goodreads.com/quotes/7207799-i-learned-this-at-least-by-my-experiment-that-if ) PS: wow I never wrote such a long comment on youtube before...Daniel and Gabor Thank you for inspiration :) LOVE

WOW!! Daniel and Gabor, I want to thank you both SO much!!!! There is so much, I want to say, but I just dont't know where to begin. I'll just tell you, that I'm 42 and my father is 72. So it's roughly the same as you. I haven't seen my parents for four years. I just couldn't stand spending time with them anymore. I've gone through all kinds of treatments and have been hospitalized twice. I've been diagnosed with depression, which has effected me since my childhood really. But I have also been diagnosed with ADD and later had the diagnosis retracted. Recently I was diagnosed with asperger's, which isn't right either. The relationship between my dad and me is almost a copy of the relationship between you guys. And I feel this video is kind of the last piece of the puzzle, I needed. I simply can't thank you enough. I'm thinking, I'm going to see my parents soon. Just for a brief visit without the heavy topics. When I get home to myself, I think, I will ask them to watch this video. Plus the video of Gabor about the 'tradeoff' between attachment and authenticity. It was such a vital piece of the puzzle for me too. And then I will pay them a longer visit, and hopefully get to talk a bit about it. Thank you!!

Hilarious. Gabor also did the same questions answer length policing in a video posted on here with Diederik Wolsak, seems like a personality quirk, not just a father son dynamic. Always love to see the humanity in large public figures (it's most clear in their family relationships). Really great video, thanks for posting Daniel, makes me feel a lot better about my own family, eerily similar tones of interaction. We are definitely crazy, its just nice to know we aren't the only ones.

Thank you for posting this video Daniel. The no-bs and vulnerability that you guys express in this interview is so refreshing to see. Everything you guys discussed are issues I've also had with my family. I applaud you for being brave to speak up about such topics.

It’s not just a family relationship that has dynamics. Actually, all relationships (work, friendships, communities, clubs, events, etc) including the relationships between the self and body, the self and mind, and the self and soul all have dynamics that are very similar on a very deep and profound level. A holistic approach in life is probably the safest and most efficient way of seeing, learning, and understanding. Cultivating ANY relationship will always require hard work and the ability to not overstep an invisible boundary. I thank Dr. Gabor and Dan for this dialogue because it really starts from a humility approached dialogue.

I LOVED this whole thing. I wonder though, it really IS all about relativity. Daniel grew up with the very best available parent. There is no doubt about this. But he has all the same issues those of us who grew up with sadistic monsters have. At least, he thinks he has. Everyone has to fight to grow up. That is all.

Serenity prayer states "change what I can", that's me, "accept what I can't", that's everyone else, and to know the difference.

wonderful work...so appreciate the raw honesty....thank you

Very courageous and instructive. Watching how past trauma still stubbornly imposes itself on the dyads and triads in the present should be a moment of insight for all. And it is truly humbling when these presenters-so aware, so mindful, so honest-reveal that no matter one's capabilities, wellness demands our utmost dedication and even then the results are by no means assured. Still, it is inspiring to witness how Daniel and Gabor persevered through their own vulnerabilities in order to share the gifts of self-care, mindfulness and growth.

Daniel was not talking too long!!!!! :)

29:45 „I demanded my three year old give me what I couldn‘t give myself. And when he didn‘t, I was angry with him.“

I NEVER thought Daniel was talking too much. In fact that period when he was "talking too much" was when I was learning so much and wanting him to talk more. Truly, Daniel has a reason to feel not deeply appreciated or heard, as most relationships are and I am glad that his father is beginning to appreciate this fact and to turn it around. Both men were honest and taught us much by appearing together and also taught each other same.

Daniel and Gabor. I love you and thank you for sharing your own beautiful selves with us. Peace and love and joy to you. Keep up the good work. The world needs you.

I became my parents' carer in my late 30s. So our roles became reversed at a young age. Being migrants, meant that I was helping them in this foreign land even as a child. My father died ten years ago and my mother last October. Both painful and horrible slow deaths that I had to help them through. Now, in my 50s, I am having to start being an individual, a woman, a friend, a lover, a student, a worker, selfish, etc. Things that I never was able to learn and have, as a carer. I don't have a sense of self without my parents. I don't think at this stage I will ever have a sense of self. I feel like I just pretending to exist till I die, which can not come soon enough. I think about suicide a lot as a logical conclusion to this. But I am trying to be before I am not. 🤷‍♀️

I feel that this family is teaching us what is hidden in all families! Thanks a million times...

FYI - your “riffing” which it wasn’t, was perfectly positioned. Your “talking too much” was not too much. Your dad has his incredible greatness. You have your incredible greatness. And what I see, is your family, including your bloodline has greatness. Greatness is grueling. Because of it, both of you are striving for connection. I’m so thankful for this video. It will help me in my journey too, of recovering and building upon soul connection with both my daughters… who by the way are in their 20’s!❤ lol…” No shit!” ♥️😜😜😉 I wish you love and that abundantly. When I say you, I say to all of your loved ones. Thank you sincerely to both Matés. And to the mother and Mrs. Maté. All of it. From the sharing of the stories, the songs, the poems, the authenticity, the decades of experience. This is rich. Flo🌿🌿♥️

if parents are really doing the best they can, then they would be so happy for this more learning opportunity to be even better parents, and not get so defensive. This is utterly amazing work, thank you Daniel Mate and Doctor Gabor Mate

You guys can't possibly fathom the positive impact your lives have on me. Gabor and Daniel, you are offering us an amazing gift, you are the little help I need in my life to uncover my truth. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Father & Son.. what an intelligent duo!

58:00 Fusion = CONfusion. Just a willingness to HAVE a relationship can make all the difference.

I have hope for myself and my daughter now I've watched this, thank you. That was such a privilege. My heart opened up to you both.

This is brilliant. Thank you so, so much. You do great. Can't wait to hold your book in my hands.

Wow. When you get into this video and really listen and pay attention, you see profoundly toxic narcissism in the father, Gabor. As I see it, Daniel recognizes this deficit in his dad yet still keeps him on a pedestal (and when we've put someone on a pedestal, they're forever looking down on us). He painfully yearns for his dad's blessing, his respect, his love without reservation. To his credit, Gabor later in the video admits to NOT walking his talk, and owns that there's a significant "gap" between his public persona and his private one with family members. I for one, really appreciate this awareness in him... but as a child of his, I'd be handling this issue very differently than Daniel does (and happily HAVE, with my own father). I think it's VITALLY important for every parent to RESIST living with the mistaken assumption that their offspring will continue to make every effort imaginable, to remain connected to them, regardless of the cost to themselves! Until this happens the child can never actually separate, individuate, and grow into "being his own Man." For the truly ADULT child, herein lies his authentic power. Without the WILL to step away, he lacks the ability to free him from the agonizing, enmeshed bond that keeps him in perpetual struggle with the parent. Most children will do whatever they think is necessary, to remain connected to a parent~ but at what cost to themselves?? Even after the parent's death, this 'unfinished business' continues to haunt and harm them. It's very sad to me, that this forty year old man-child (Daniel) is still struggling to gain from his father what will likely never be forthcoming (except within brief, delicious moments of verbal affirmation). Yet like many, to avoid having to mourn the LOSS of a solid bond with with Dad, he doggedly keeps wishing and hoping he'll one day achieve it~ which is far more toxic and potentially deadly to him, than surrendering his need for this relationship. I recently posted on Facebook that narcissistic fathers are ALWAYS in competition with their sons. In theory, the father wishes for his son's success because it reflects favorably on himself~ yet a narcissist secretly despises anyone who comes even close to surpassing his own achievements. Sadly, this is the root of why many males keep themselves from rising to their own power and success: It's far easier for a child to retain the identity of being a 'disappointment' to his parent, than to risk that parent's resentment and wrath, if he actually succeeds! Narcissistic personalities are not powerful, as we laymen are led to believe. They're core-damaged, insecure little children, who have become adept at constructing and maintaining a grandiose facade to mask their fragility. Abandonment to the narcissist, is every bit as earth-shattering as it is to the Borderline disordered personality, which is what keeps BOTH types from fully attaching~ even to their own children. Amen.

This was fantastic! I've been doing hard work as the survivor of the most toxic relationship ever: that of my parents. I'm the daughter of an alcoholic father and a borderline/narcissistic mother. It's been a long journey. I love when I find such eye-opening information like this; shared in such wonderful way. Thank you! :-)

Something that struck me at the very beginning: Daniel said HE needed to get his water, yet his father got up and gave it to him. And it was obvious it was expected. It was an established guilt trip. Minor perhaps, but it shows an established bad habit. If he'd really wanted to get it for himself, he would've just said, "Excuse me", and stepped away from the mic, or said, "Dad, could you pls hand me my water?" Either way would've been a socially acceptable way to get his point across, among any other adult.

I stopped watching when Daniel said that he was struggling with adulthood and that his father already had his life set up-that Dan is sad because he's not married out outrageously successful as his dad. I'm the same age as Daniel & I know for a stone cold fact that my generation is not afforded the luxuries of prior generations. To compare yourself to anyone is not authentic behavior. I may not be expressing the correct terminology here but I think you, the reader, get the point.

This prospective of Daniel at the start was an eye opener such an important difference in views from a child who has a father like Dr. Mate and children who don’t have that but they do have parents are trying and that’s a good message to be reminded of. We never want to over explain or focus on our guilt

Wonderful to listen to, it is like Balm to me, and perhaps all those who havent found out of these "traps" and triggerpoints. I have sat here both tear-eyed and a had a lot of good laughs in it too, of recognizing both myself, and others. Great Great Work, Thank You :)

Two of the most riveting and intelligent human beings I've ever had the pleasure to listen !! awesome father and son team Great role models :-) thank you I look to u both for guidance thank you

Daniel, I am a huge fan of your fathers, and just became an equally huge fan of yours. Watching the two of you communicate, work, and just "be" together was somewhat surreal for me. And for eons I have prayed to be able to communicate and get along with my mother (who I adore) in such the same manner as to be able to make direct personal and somewhat challenging comments to one another, and yet still be able to work together and toil through it wholeheartedly, so that at the end of the conversation there is more understanding and closeness rather than separateness and conflict. The dynamics between you and your father reminds me of some of the challenges I deal with within my relationship with my mother as well. Even though I have the utmost love, respect, and admiration for her, I can also become grossly triggered by some of her actions and words.

6yrs ago he just quoted CSNY. So happened Dsvid Crosby died yesterday. Teach Your Children Well Father's He'll Will Slowly Go By. I don't believe in coincidences. I am seeing this at this time for a reason. The messengers. Thank you both for this download. I learned a lot past 2hrs.

Wondering why gabor doesn't hug his son after daniel finished his vulnerable monologue and gabor gets up to do his talk. They cross paths for a second and its just soo cold. Wheres the emotional hug? He starts with an emotional story of Daniel's birth being the most profound moment of his life and yet ....when they pass each other....there's nothing.

thank you Daniel for this fantastic video. This resonated with me so much as it would in millions of families. The first 40 mins I watched with tears flowing, especially hearing those lyrics from the Metallica song which ive never heard before. It really summed up my upbringing. Im now 50 and have never worked through these issues. As a result I have had depression, anxiety, food and gambling addictions for years, all the while blaming myself for being weak. Now that ive seen your fathers work I understand that our childhood experience affects our whole lives. For years we have been told to stop blaming our parents for everything but I think that alleviates them of any personal responsibility.