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Dr Gabor Maté | Don’t Ignore Your Own Needs (Part 3) 

How To Academy Mindset
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We tend to believe that normality equals health. Yet what is the norm in the Western world? Joining us live on stage in London - in conversation with filmmaker and author David Malone - the renowned physician, addiction expert and author Gabor Maté dissects the underlying causes of this malaise - physical and emotional, and connects the dots between our personal suffering and the pressures of modern-day living.
Illness and trauma are defining how we live. 45% of Europeans suffer high blood pressure, and nearly 70% of Americans take at least one prescription drug.
Over four decades of clinical experience, Dr Gabor Maté has found that the common definition of ‘normal’ is false: virtually all disease is actually a natural reflection of life in an abnormal culture, as we grow further and further apart from our true selves.
Filled with stories of people in the grip of illness or in the triumphant wake of recovery, this life-affirming talk from the beloved physician and author will show how true health is possible - if we are willing to embrace authenticity above social expectations.
Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author and renowned speaker, highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books published in nearly thirty languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He has been awarded the Order of Canada (his country’s equivalent of the MBE) and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver, for his ground-breaking medical work and writing.
David Malone is a filmmaker and TV presenter whose documentaries include Testing God, Soul Searching (both Channel 4), Dangerous Knowledge and The Secret Life of Waves (both BBC). He is the author of The Debt Generation.

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2 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 374   
@lillumination5388
@lillumination5388 Год назад
I got so sucked into the needs of my parents, society pressure to be formatted, then husband, kids, career so-to-speak... that after leaving the abusive spouse, I was so estranged from myself that it took me 2 years to start shopping food for my own needs, for example. For I lost myself in that abyss of being a mother Teresa.
@newflower8974
@newflower8974 Год назад
🙏🏽
@richardsmith6083
@richardsmith6083 Год назад
Good to have you back!😊
@jasmineglein3721
@jasmineglein3721 Год назад
I am not Mother Teresa but I was on my way being ONE
@hortensejones4050
@hortensejones4050 Год назад
My parents passed away already 20 years ago (I was their caretaker for decades); my husband suddenly died a few years ago . I’m in my 60’s & just beginning to discover what I like-food, colors, styles, activities-I didn’t even know that I didn’t know almost anything about myself! Extremely embarrassed but grateful for the opportunity!
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 Год назад
I feel dead now. Like a zombie. No life. No family. No friends. No community. Not one thing left .
@Cherabreena
@Cherabreena Год назад
I find this to be absolutely true. I spent the majority of my life being a people pleaser and my health suffered greatly. It wasn’t until I entered my thirties and finally learned to set boundaries and leave every toxic relation behind, that my health started flourishing. Especially after leaving my last relationship of 4+ years where I’d started suffering from anxiety after being traumatized by the person’s actions. My blood pressure was high despite eating super healthy. Sleep was terrible. Crying at night. My face broke out constantly. Migraines started becoming frequent (never suffered from that before) sudden ear/hearing problems that no doctors could explain. My period went haywire. Lots of physical symptoms. A month after I left and went no contact with this person all of those symptoms disappeared. ALL OF THEM! AFTER 1 MONTH!! That’s when I learned the true meaning of the word ‘toxic’ when it comes to human interactions. Choose your company CAREFULLY!!
@ColargolPL
@ColargolPL 11 месяцев назад
Lucky you to have learned it so EARLY on! No irony.
@Cherabreena
@Cherabreena 9 месяцев назад
@@ColargolPL Thank you. I wish I had learned earlier, but here we are! Lots of lessons learned, lots of inner work and change of environment.
@MissNamaSlay
@MissNamaSlay Год назад
Our families sometimes are the cause of most our sufferings and we .. never blame them . We are wiser.. we are more compassionate and we suffer . I’m so grateful for having meditation .. yoga .. the intellect to see exactly what I need to do , for my adult peace . Generation breakers have the toughest times but we can prevail if we change our minds ! It’s never to late to be better , to keep trying and to want more !
@LOVE_N_F
@LOVE_N_F Год назад
😢😢😢
@MayaLove1976
@MayaLove1976 Год назад
Yes I’m the generational breaker, healing many generations of martyrdom and being responsible for self not others……
@vanessablanc2074
@vanessablanc2074 Год назад
I love the term you used, “generation breakers”!
@fredericotacio3473
@fredericotacio3473 9 месяцев назад
I'm also a generational breaker, but I wanted a bit of peace.
@emiirozenn
@emiirozenn 8 месяцев назад
🙏❤️❤️
@denise2169
@denise2169 10 месяцев назад
For me, I was totally alone as a child, having been bullied at school. As an adult, the only way I found some connection with other people was if I was helping them. Just this week, my face reacted by swelling, becoming red and painful, and I am feeling overwhelmed at not taking care of my own self. I must listen to my feelings and put myself first.
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Год назад
My Rheumatoid Arthritis (which I was diagnosed with at 30) was the cure. It was my body metaphorically trying to tell me something. I am 32 and off all medications. I sometimes take a low dose of prednisone every once in awhile but I don’t make a big deal anymore about a minor flare up. I just think, “what stresses did I let into my life without standing up for my own needs” and I move on. I’m getting better at that everyday with practice. My rheumatologist is perplexed and annoyed by me. You’d think he’d be happy for me. Same with my primary care physician.
@clarabelle777
@clarabelle777 Год назад
Pharma doesn’t make money off fit and healthy people, or people with a mindset like yours 💪
@questioneverything7582
@questioneverything7582 Год назад
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@cherylbailey4803
@cherylbailey4803 Год назад
You go Chad! What a great story, thank you for sharing. As we all start following our gut again we will all heal!
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Год назад
@@questioneverything7582 That was actually very insightful. Thank you for sharing that. Honestly. As far as the fear campaigns being in bad faith or just out of straight up ignorance, we'll never really know but I definitely lean on the side of what my own experiences have shown me with my own health and that is, the body is trying to speak up for you. It's trying to say something. It's trying to keep you alive and if you listen closely, you can learn a lot about what it actually needs and how it can actually stay healthy. For me, it was becoming hyper aware of chronic stress and trauma triggers that make me feel in conflict or in fight or flight. Staying out of the fight or flight or away from anything that triggers it as best I can within the boundaries of my financial limitations has helped me tremendously. Its not always easy to say no to coming into work on a day I didn't want to come in when I am struggling financially but I have definitely gotten better at setting boundaries and making sure I get what I need to do my job without compromise. Things are getting better because of it. Also just becoming aware of where all these traumas and coping styles originated from so that I can get better at going against them when they let in so much stress.
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Год назад
@@cherylbailey4803 Thank you for your support.
@April-if6xo
@April-if6xo Год назад
Big Thanks!, Dr. Maté. I am almost 71 years old and recently I realized, without having watched your excellent videos, that I was lacking authenticity. I was doing everything possible and silencing myself to please my sons, big men now. I had to "cut" -"my" attachments - being a single parent since they were 6 & 7. It was not easy, but I am living in tranquility, cleaned all expectations about calls -never arrived-, a moment to see them -for what I was telling mistakenly myself that I was just breathing to have one single minute to see them again. I am free now, and probably, I have freed them as well. I am not a child, I moved to another place, and I have peace-health, hopefully in my body as in my mind. Big Thanks!, again. You are helping me to see that I made the right decision, one of the most important and tough of my life. Love 💓
@surpriseguest37
@surpriseguest37 11 месяцев назад
I can strongly relate to this, people pleasing destroyed my life
@rochellecaffee1417
@rochellecaffee1417 Год назад
Jesus tells his people, “DO NOT be afraid”, 365 times in the Bible. Fear is the “bottom level” to stress. I love what you are helping people understand. Thank you.❤😊
@rachelsspaceyogabreathsoun7954
Gabor is soo on point. My mother has MS and I observed she had no self esteem and put other people needs before herself. I repeated the cycle which was also wrapped in child trauma of needed to tend my parents needs to keep myself safe. My nervous system was soo deregulated I spent years in fight mode then to freeze and collapse. I have many symptoms that align with an auto immune disease. It’s a minute by minute process to put myself and my needs first. I’m reformed people pleaser and in a way the symptoms that I experience are a gift and stop me from doing to much and not living from an authentic place. I have found yoga particularly restorative , meditation, IFS, reiki, sound healing vagus nerve activation, compassion practices, talk therapy, somatic experiencing, building community connection with other women that is heart based. I know it possible to heal and I am soo grateful to Gabor for he’s incredible work.
@RobynBelleHorton
@RobynBelleHorton Год назад
❤️
@JGalegria
@JGalegria 2 месяца назад
Yes IFS! It works!
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
WORD. I am dealing with hoarding issues. I no longer say, "I have hoarding disorder" because I don't want to give "it" that power over me. I also no longer hate myself for the hoarding issues. They are a coping mechanism that enabled me to survive childhood trauma. And now my Inner Adult is working on helping my Inner Child heal 🙏😌💕✨
@SuperLammens
@SuperLammens Год назад
I belief you will be successfull
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 Год назад
May you heal .....fast🌿♥️🌿
@tracasavadogo3992
@tracasavadogo3992 Год назад
Check out the course for Holistic Life Navigation. It’s been a game changer for me.
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
@@tracasavadogo3992 Thank you for sharing that... I'll check it out!
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
@@SuperLammens Thank you so much!
@jas_bataille
@jas_bataille Год назад
I'm a child cancer survivor, I was 8 years old and the tumour was supposed to take 20 years to grow. I'm also autistic - interestingly enough, autistic people tend not to say that they "have" autism, rather than it's an inextricable part of us! I didn't thought about my other diseases that way before now. I was bullied and micro-managed all my childhood and in early adulthood as well. My parents are the "nice guys" and I come from a family of people exactly like you describes. Despite my mom being into natural remedies and alternative medicine quite heavily, she keeps on radically denying any connection between body and mind and refuses to look into any implication of her actions and that of my dad on me as a child. It's been now many years and I'm tired, I've been living with chronic pain numerous conditions. The last one of them is asthma from unknown causes, I stopped breathing and I would've been dead if I was alone at home like most time. After this much time I feel like I finally have a proper answer. Thank you so much Dr!
@0123hellooooo
@0123hellooooo Год назад
Hello fellow Aspie! Take care of yourself, you are worth it!
@greenthumb8266
@greenthumb8266 Год назад
♥️
@MayaLove1976
@MayaLove1976 Год назад
This was so me and I developed severe chronic fatigue and CPTSD because I wasn’t looking at it, my body basically shut down, it’s been a 9 year journey slowly healing the suffering I’ve held for others and slowly trying to believe I deserve to look after myself on all levels. It’s still difficult.
@aleynamutlu4206
@aleynamutlu4206 11 месяцев назад
Who taught you to deny your own needs cause those needs made someone uncomfortable ? Your needs are valid too you are a human being. I hope you can get well soon.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 9 месяцев назад
Similar experience for different reasons.
@lynnglass575
@lynnglass575 7 дней назад
I understand your life I also gave cfs and was groomed by a narcissist mother didn’t realise how people pleasing and suppressing my true feelings still working through bulling with my adult narcissist sister and her toxic family but like yourself it’s a process blessings to you also
@Jo-kh1yo
@Jo-kh1yo Год назад
Louise Hay talked about this in her book "You can heal your life" there is a section in the book with an alphabetical list of diseases and their metaphysical causes.
@dianadee4300
@dianadee4300 Месяц назад
That list is one person's opinion, not based in science, so utilize with objectivity!
@timhardman9386
@timhardman9386 Год назад
Anger is a boundary defense. YES. It is healthy when acting as a protection system against being invaded. THANKS. What a nice way of putting it. Great. 👍🏻😉🚀
@Lightseeker0009
@Lightseeker0009 2 месяца назад
How we collectively needed this man to find the strength and courage to live authentically and then share that wisdom so generously with us. Thank you doctor for leading the way. SO much respect for Dr Gabor Mate- and so much more gratitude.
@jandrews6254
@jandrews6254 Год назад
This realisation came to me after having flown in aircraft umpteen times and hearing the instruction to put on your own O2 mask before helping anyone else, even your child. Of course! If you don’t grab your mask and put it on, instead putting a mask on anyone else, you black out! And your usefulness ends right there. So, care for your own needs so that you be of use to others.
@helenndow1101
@helenndow1101 Год назад
I am addicted to Gabor Mate
@zenobipowell1015
@zenobipowell1015 Год назад
Me toooooo 😍
@suzanesugrue1080
@suzanesugrue1080 Год назад
Here, Here
@saida817
@saida817 Год назад
It’s so sad the fact that I’ve been like that unconsciously trying to please everybody not to lose connection, go out of my way to take care of others in the expense of my own, o thought that’s the only way I can be loved, after all autoimmune disorders, lots of health problems, loneliness-and friends and family doesn’t need you anymore, they got used to benefit from you and now not only they can’t benefit but also I’m in a state of need, emotional, physical, financial
@chaz7604
@chaz7604 Год назад
I feel the same way completely ❤
@livondiramerian6999
@livondiramerian6999 Год назад
You can't give what you don't have.
@rachelkingsley668
@rachelkingsley668 Год назад
The Bible command is to love others as we love ourselves! So we need to love ourselves before we can love other people - that how we know how to be loving.
@UXtatic
@UXtatic Год назад
So glad Maté is getting his truly proper due. Started watching him 4 years ago in the midst of a family member's cancer journey. As an observer, I saw exactly what he was saying.😔😔😔😔
@greentree730
@greentree730 Год назад
I had arthritis in both knees, elbows, fingers, and a toe. I knew as the dr was telling me what pills to take and how to keep moving through the pain. That I would Never live with this!!! I fasted and went to a healing room a month later, some strangers prayed for me in Jesus name. I had to forgive someone as well. I walked out 30 minutes later without arthritis and have never had it again. It was a decision I made in faith, I believed in miracles. It wasn't going to be diet thing, it was going to be a completely healed thing.
@ElizofAmerica
@ElizofAmerica Год назад
When I’m being my authentic self people think I’m angry when I’m not just expressing my needs more
@winendesertrose
@winendesertrose 11 месяцев назад
I get angry and act out if my needs are not met. Definitely taking a break from the delusional type people. I've stopped keeping my mouth shut and enabling or just stay away. Lol. Just yesterday I heard one of my clients refer to me as 'nice' yeah I'm nice to a point -just don't use me as a doormat or entertain dullusions ( anymore).
@cathihargaden1608
@cathihargaden1608 Год назад
This guy is great- I’m health professional and been in thousands of homes one day I said there’s a pattern to people with certain conditions and their root was emotional- I also had a child disease I write about it like Gabor but people resist making the connection his truths expressed r wide and far reaching ❤
@gethelp6271
@gethelp6271 Год назад
Isn't German New Medicine about this sort of concept?
@cathihargaden1608
@cathihargaden1608 Год назад
@@gethelp6271 I don’t know but myself was a path of self discovery and u have to be prepared to be courageous brave to admit to yourself
@dianadee4300
@dianadee4300 Месяц назад
That's an interesting point! Since I began studying health seriously 20 years ago, I have also noticed that certain conditions "show themselves" in certain ways in people. For example, I have noticed that heart conditions and high blood pressure show up on many people in the face. They tend to look "a bit puffy". If there is truth to physical conditions being caused by chronic emotional states, then there is great hope for healing by changing the emotional state! Think of the implications for people you may know.
@shenanklinger-fenech8205
@shenanklinger-fenech8205 Год назад
Thank you Dr. Mate for helping me understand that taking care of my own needs is not just something I ought to try out or some new age trend. It is my biggest duty and highest priority to take care of my own needs in order to stay healthy, well balanced and able to care for others in a better way.
@stephanieluckey7825
@stephanieluckey7825 Год назад
100%!!! If we don’t care for ourselves our loved ones will end up caring the weight!!! Only when we stand up strong can we be someone’s shoulder to lean on.
@lifeslessons9889
@lifeslessons9889 Год назад
I adhere and gravitate to this genius… he talks such wisdom and logic. I’ve had stress in my adult life from 31- 60 . I’m left with high cholesterol, gum Disease and type two diabetes… I’m actively working on repairing myself with diabetes meds . I’m not surprised of my health issues… as a child I was constantly trying to gain love and respect..as an adult I craved love and took the wrong choices . I was widowed and pregnant at age 35 ..my entire life has been a struggle..independently.
@ekenechristyike5461
@ekenechristyike5461 Год назад
God will stand by you and send Yelp your way IJN Amen. You are here today after all the stressful journey you've been through, you will come out on top after all said and done. I feel same too. But I try to take a day at a time...not bothering about tomorrow cos it usually stresses me the more. I'm getting better praise God 🙏
@annajones4355
@annajones4355 Год назад
Perhaps all your health issues are due to high cortisol or cortisol resistance. I've been learning about this recently... From abusive childhood I went from one to another to another abusive relationship not knowing any better. Focusing on being the best wife, mother, daughter, friend, I didn't have a clue what my needs have been. I'm 47 and I'm learning this now. I feel like a kid, but I suppose it's never too late! ;) All my life I felt alone and in highly stressed state. Where it got me now are these two components, to bring back my cortisol to normal level (there are good videos out there on affects of chronic stress and high cortisol linked to soo many health problems) and learning about myself and taking care of my Self the way we were meant to. ❤
@frequencyagreements1280
@frequencyagreements1280 7 дней назад
When I was 17 a Dr. Labeled me with an arthritic auto-immume disease. I argued with him and other Dr.'s that that is not the problem. I'd bitch at them and ask why aren't you doing your homework, research, etc. Instead they suggested I should go to therapy. Every visit to the Dr. was just them looking at my physical symptoms incompetently with other interns or residency staff. I stopped going to the Dr. and carried my debilitating pain on my own (more trauma from a form of neglect). Later in life I recognized a pattern of my health directly linked to my emotional state overall. When I take actions that lead to personal health and happiness my health improves and vice versa. Today this awareness is scientifically proven to be the best way to resolve many health issues. It is not easy to change one's state of mind & emotion, but 1. Such is yours alone and can only be changed by the choices you make. 2. Honesty and Integrity are important to cultivate to maintain an inner alignment. 3. Being cognizant of what you allow in through your senses is a responsibility that supports authenticity. 4. You are never without the freedom to choose; especially with and how you think, believe (accept) and feel. Being authentic can be a lonely place, because so few people are. Today I literally can see the inauthenticity immediately in people. Health-wise, I have to stay on top of honesty and Integrity as a model of behavior, because when I don't my pain returns, and that especially includes my choice of inner dialog - how I think and talk to myself. It is true that when we change the way we look at things the things we look at change. That is the power we all have.
@62Cristoforo
@62Cristoforo Год назад
The human species has always baffled me, since I was old enough to perceive people’s thoughts and actions. Here is a man explaining to the world, finally, the mechanism of cancer in the human body, and there’s 22 comments.
@shereenmakhanye9239
@shereenmakhanye9239 Год назад
The mind grapples with simple information, that’s why the human suffering.
@gratefultobehere
@gratefultobehere Год назад
Needed to hear it’s healthy to have that boundary with anger sometimes. Thank you. Was feeling guilty about exercising a healthy boundary and then it was violated so this message is medication. Healing.
@yvonneshanson1525
@yvonneshanson1525 Год назад
Set a program where you congratulate yourself for even a small amount of anger and externalization of indignation or discomfort in any given situation, esp in front of others. Imagine yourself as a child that needs this exact reaffirmation.. do it for as long as it takes to heal yourself 🩵😊
@gratefultobehere
@gratefultobehere Год назад
@@yvonneshanson1525 thank you. Never considered it before - mind opening.
@yvonneshanson1525
@yvonneshanson1525 Год назад
@Chelsea Peterson happy i coiuld help a fellow survivor 😊! ..our inner child deserves her emotions to be honored to the fullest.. wishing u the best 💚
@tonistrother8266
@tonistrother8266 Год назад
I have a high regard for Gabor Mate’s teaching. I often wonder whether he has happiness, or contentment, in his life. I wish that it be true.
@rujirawongpalee8339
@rujirawongpalee8339 23 дня назад
He is one of the ❤gift for mankind
@nanceenurse
@nanceenurse День назад
True, many working in the medical model system don't really get how powerful the mind/body connection is. Often times, don't address the emotions at all. This happens all the time.
@agalIam
@agalIam Год назад
dr. mate has the most soothing voice
@bambina3148
@bambina3148 Год назад
Doesn’t he though. I love to listen to him.
@narcisismoabuso69
@narcisismoabuso69 9 месяцев назад
Lucky me to have learned it so EARLY! I believe in doing good in life, and getting closer to the spirit world has helped me. I drop anything that is bad. Pretty fast. I get up and go.
@henoheno4686
@henoheno4686 Год назад
Legend Mr mate. This man needs to be heard..
@suzanesugrue1080
@suzanesugrue1080 Год назад
Yes, yes and yes
@InterestedCitizen
@InterestedCitizen Год назад
Dr. Gabor Mate is a real gift❤️
@TheCosmicAlchemist
@TheCosmicAlchemist 5 дней назад
I’ve been helpful to all of the friends and family and at this stage of life it has destroyed everything I had hoped for.
@sunnyflower1979
@sunnyflower1979 Год назад
I dont even know what I need. I was taught to be selfless. Give give give is all I know.
@gregoryhuggins79
@gregoryhuggins79 Месяц назад
Thank you for enlightenment.
@mohammedf.al-ghamdi2090
@mohammedf.al-ghamdi2090 Год назад
There is a fine line between needs and desires. Our minds should be able to detect the differences.
@donnabarnes540
@donnabarnes540 Год назад
I naturally always put others before myself and I’ve got cancer !!
@nerudaad
@nerudaad Год назад
I hope his message is heard by as many as possible
@clarabelle777
@clarabelle777 Год назад
And this is why I cannot and will not ever accept people being labelled. How about plain old acceptance and compassion for fellow human beings, with no agenda. Bill Hicks said stop putting a price on everything, I say that includes a ‘label’ 🙏❤️
@timoe.7509
@timoe.7509 Год назад
Holy moly!this must be one of the most insightful talks I've ever watched....oooor the most insightful at all
@deedee9312
@deedee9312 9 месяцев назад
It’s so easy to get sucked into your job and become a slave to it Forever ! Let go and take more vacations , visit family , find a hobby, etc ❤
@emersonrae905
@emersonrae905 11 месяцев назад
we are so lucky to have him
@marybrantly581
@marybrantly581 Год назад
I love Gabor! His work has changed my life. What an awakening! Thank you from my whole heart!
@majagoedegebuur9451
@majagoedegebuur9451 Год назад
Yes my to,Its wunderful.! Amazing whats happend whit me when Ise this .
@sid32ful
@sid32ful Год назад
This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it ru-vid.comUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.
@simonwinberg8604
@simonwinberg8604 Год назад
This is my life If i dont heal myself next year it will be the end of me. Been severly depressed my whole adult life.
@galactictea
@galactictea Год назад
check marisa peers videos on youtube
@PVVI2015
@PVVI2015 Год назад
I understand that feeling. About 20 years ago that realization hit me when I was totally exhausted from trying to keep up with what I perceived everyone wanted of me. I wanted to curl up in a corner and just quit. It was a junction and I decided to try to dig my way out. I gradually started doing more positive things and setting some boundaries. It was hard but worth the journey. I have just recently read Dr. Mate’s books and what I have learned has given a deeper meaning to my journey. So, I encourage you not to give up. Baby steps - walks, healthy nutrition, daily steps forward in taking care of yourself make a difference. Please don’t give up. This could be your turning point❤️
@ehh227
@ehh227 Год назад
Proven: Wim Hof method to help heal depression & anxiety. It’s a deep breathing practice & cold exposure. His wife committed suicide because she had a “mental illness” and he had to care for his kids. He then discovered what is now the WIM HOF method. He holds records for cold exposure & was studied by scientist as to how he was able to be “superhuman”. It has definitely worked for me. Hope this works for you. 🙏🏽
@LadyMarigoldWithers
@LadyMarigoldWithers Год назад
I hope you find a way out, start small and build. Just listened to Jordan Peterson/John Delony podcast yesterday, it covered lots of different aspects of life, found it really interesting and positive so recommend. Wish you lots of luck and hope in your journey, don’t give up!
@SpecialgiftsLA
@SpecialgiftsLA Год назад
Simonwinberg, this is a major turning point, at first each step you need to take will seem like a heavy feat..it will take abit of time at first but this is necessary for you to practise kmowing how to lead yourself to new True being of you which is healthy and stable, practise each morning and night talking lovingly and supportively to yourself when you are lying in bed and your body is supported and then have a few supportive phrases you feel help you. This will calm you. Trust the process and repeat a bit daily. Eventually the daily will become 3 times, or every 3hours or hour or every 15 minutes that you will sustain this new 'muscle'. Each small thing you incorporate 'as a habit,' or have different ones so if you don't do one you can pick from other ones, Focus on educating on healthy eating, applying it, walks to move and breathe and process thoughts constructively or just enjoy the feeling of it, sleep and hygien. You will see the changes and it will feel great. Now, only share your new found well being with anyone you can trust. No one else, and keep going. Sending you a hug. LA
@Mandance
@Mandance Год назад
One point I disagree on, while I do agree trauma is a big component, I think Gabor is missing the mart by not acknowledging how the food supply has heavily been degraded over time and full of chemicals, I don’t think all this chronic disease is only emotional stuff, it’s not like traumas are higher now than in previous times.
@kenzielove99
@kenzielove99 Год назад
This lecture is blowing my mind
@Tammissa
@Tammissa 11 месяцев назад
I was just like that. I’d feel so sorry for other’s problems that I put my own happiness and family second. It was so hard to say no. I’ve learned a lot and can say no much easier now. I learned the hard way.
@circleofmoonmusic9743
@circleofmoonmusic9743 Год назад
So sad that so many people choose to worship Jordy Peterson over this guy.
@iammeallday
@iammeallday 10 месяцев назад
I went into a mental health crisis chronic anxiety at the age of 38 constantly taking care of others the stress of it and demand of it was consuming it's still a struggle
@melanie.l6282
@melanie.l6282 2 месяца назад
i could listen to this man for hours so much knowledge and compassion
@user-gw4oz1rk3i
@user-gw4oz1rk3i Месяц назад
FINNALYYYYYYY!
@nikokisting6189
@nikokisting6189 3 месяца назад
I got bullied a lot as a teenager and young adult, but I was taught that it was sinful and inappropriate to express anger over the abuse. I've now been struggling with debilitating depression and burn-out for decades. I hate and loath myself: It's as if I've internalised the world's hatred and rejection of myself. What is the way out?
@louisa777ace
@louisa777ace Год назад
I look at it like they use bad coping mechanics to deal with the emotions Deal with the needs be authentic Disease is I'll at ease with things What things I resolved the things I had in my life loved and love me Met my needs all things changed All things change if you look after yourself
@richardhall5489
@richardhall5489 Год назад
The question at the start of this video was "..how does that happen!" With reference to people who are over helpful. I found that psychologist Dr Laurence Heller's NARM model answered this question for me in terms of survival strategies. This is a compassionate way of summarising behaviour patterns that's free from labelling and pathologizing and consequently judgements and stigma. So for example if you were disempowered through trauma as a child then giving your power away to make other people happy is a perfectly legitimate short term survival strategy. It can become a problem as you get older and are unaware that you can behave any differently. My understanding is that Gabor Mate's Compassionate Inquiry approach and NARM are essentially different versions of the same thing.
@questioneverything7582
@questioneverything7582 Год назад
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@user-wp7zn8ii5u
@user-wp7zn8ii5u Год назад
Excellent explanation, thank you.
@karnaud6352
@karnaud6352 Год назад
​@@questioneverything7582I'm very sympathetic to your point but I think you will find some of the epidemiology of the spanish flu victims more complex than the gloss you have provided, and so people who are critical of your views may unfairly dismiss you generally because of this. As I understand it, the spanish flu affected and killed younger more robust people more quickly and more often than the rest, and it did so because it operated on parts of the body associated with better lung function. Just fyi as I was reading through, I'm happy to be corrected by more knowledgeable people
@piperselinger9428
@piperselinger9428 Год назад
This is all true. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease in my thirties. I am thankful because self care is now my number one priority. Our minds can convince us to keep moving forward in spite of everything but our bodies never lie to us. I grew up in a family dynamic that encouraged me to suppress my feelings and this continued into adulthood. I have no doubt this is the cause of my Hashimoto’s. I have done a lot of inner work and meditate every day. After a demanding career and having a family I can now step into part time work and take time for myself.
@tamelashafer8852
@tamelashafer8852 Год назад
Exactly!!! Everything is energy…. Everything Thoughts, emotions, actions, sounds,…. Everything… Spell-Ing
@5DNRG
@5DNRG Год назад
As a Reiki practitioner working with cancer patients, another common trait I notice is a "fixed" personality, inflexible, stubborn and balks at self-change to the point they wont regardless of outcome. Sad to watch knowing they can heal themselves with a (simple) change of mental state as Dr Mate explains here...something many people are unable to.
@evaveegee64
@evaveegee64 Год назад
Wow! You should work in the hospital!! 'Knowing they can heal themselves'?? O.M.G. Tell me where your beautiful, simple planet lies, I'm flying right over! Just wondering what your own healing strategy would be the day you get cancer and being a flexible person doesn't do the trick.
@PippiBarbieri
@PippiBarbieri Год назад
Yea this is called wounded healer - attempting to help others in order to avoid yourself’s basic needs
@anja4740
@anja4740 Год назад
Thank you!
@joshuablack8221
@joshuablack8221 Год назад
Great information! Thank you for this… 🙏🏽
@carolpessin4006
@carolpessin4006 Год назад
Thank you very much
@Plund91
@Plund91 11 месяцев назад
I’m sorry to say, but people pleasing behaviour has nothing to do with loving others; it has all to do with yourself, with you being liked for being a ‘good person’. All roads points towards yourself, and even though the act - externally - is pointed towards others, there is no motivation to be authentically nice to others, but only to be acknowledged and appreciated. In other words, the pleasing or act of being ‘nice’ is directly dependant on being rewarded (as you may see when they turn on you for not duplicating their ‘niceness’). This doesn’t mean you should be tough on yourself for being like that - I myself am like that. But it’s important not to cover it up like you are this amazing person who just wants the best for all others.
@mirafilipovic5162
@mirafilipovic5162 Год назад
My dear colleague, you are a blessing; i have just discovered your videos and love the way you explain things so that even lay people can understand! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise!
@marianasalles242
@marianasalles242 Год назад
Amazing Dr Gabor💚✨🌎🌈🕊️🌱🙏🏻
@yourguidetolove7457
@yourguidetolove7457 Год назад
Wow powerful video!! I’m definitely working on honoring my own needs first.
@anniebootboot
@anniebootboot Год назад
Mind & body are inseparable. Hate to say it, but right after a 25-minute yoga session, my depressive symptoms have alleviated
@iamnotfabio
@iamnotfabio Год назад
Gabor is awesome
@gabriellarujsz5741
@gabriellarujsz5741 Год назад
Thank you ❣️ yes, big true 🙏
@Henry-zp4zc
@Henry-zp4zc 11 месяцев назад
What a gift ❤
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 7 месяцев назад
Apparently i was a smart kid...was aware of my needs and tried to fill them as best as i could in my killing environment. This made me selfish and self preserved and unable to be a parent.
@maryannestevenson5993
@maryannestevenson5993 Год назад
Real good sensible truth
@sassi7966
@sassi7966 Год назад
Exactly 💯 My breakdown, chronic fatigue syndrome and mental illnesses were virtually inevitable! I didn't stand a chance from conception! And yes I have now taken responsibility for myself because I finally recognised the problem... But it seems to be too late! I can't correct things anymore! 😭
@rosemaryallen2128
@rosemaryallen2128 Год назад
It's never too late. A big set of problems takes a big effort and a lot of time to sort out, but the answer is always to take the smallest manageable steps at a time.
@user-gw4oz1rk3i
@user-gw4oz1rk3i Месяц назад
I have heard that research has shows that pepole who say and Think “i have depression” producer better results than thinking “i am depressed”
@bensuede3862
@bensuede3862 Год назад
This is the type of stuff that annoys many of us. This isnt new. As a matter of fact its ancient info. It was taught as science. Many of us dont need to hear this. Just need the ones leading by force to step back or leave.
@sarojanidoddapaneni9734
@sarojanidoddapaneni9734 Год назад
Dr GABER MATE Domination Lack of Respect and Responsibility to the Fellow human being in family members of society and the institutions and honesty not hypocrisy
@avl6110
@avl6110 Год назад
Thank you for this insightful and powerful video. Where can I find part 1 and part 2 please? Thank you 🙏
@cloudsofwonder7004
@cloudsofwonder7004 Год назад
Learning to say No to my past Sociel and Sociely imposed ways of choosing to be a yes ppl pleasing and all that entails yes the mother roll is a reality that leads our female children and or male s to get stuck in robbing us of our humanity Awarness of ourselves is totally nessasary for our physical emotional mental health 🥁🥁🥁
@jamlaw
@jamlaw Год назад
This resonates with me. Also the conflicting message of being a saintly, giving person in society and not being selfish is hard for me to balance at times. (Not that I'm single by any means! Just the idea of being a Mother Teresa type, having compassion and love and giving to others ..)
@olivermatias2349
@olivermatias2349 Год назад
Thank you❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏☺️
@wulu3519
@wulu3519 Год назад
Suppressed emotion..
@62Cristoforo
@62Cristoforo Год назад
.... suppresses the immune system
@hibalimita4034
@hibalimita4034 11 месяцев назад
brilliant
@Miksariana
@Miksariana Год назад
Dr Gabor is one of its kind🙌🏻🙌🏻 yet just thinking out loud ..if we have so many cancers (epidemics of it) but environment is toxic ..does one doesn't rule out the other?
@moniqueocean
@moniqueocean Год назад
In a way our environment is a reflection of our state of minds as humanity.. we now know the whole world is an interconnected ecosystem, this can be observed in biology, physics, chemistry and quantum physics.
@mariadimopoulos6663
@mariadimopoulos6663 Год назад
I agree absolutely
@saida817
@saida817 Год назад
I can’t find or go back to my authentic me. I feel lost, uncertain, helpless
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 Год назад
I understand....🥀
@mysecretlifeofpain
@mysecretlifeofpain Год назад
Love to see the research though showing selfish people don’t get cancer and chronic pain/illness
@jasmineglein3721
@jasmineglein3721 Год назад
Haha they do what they want and don't give shit what others think
@emilyb5557
@emilyb5557 Год назад
Not sure the theory fits the higher autoimmunity rates in western cultures where women are far freer to look after own needs compared to some other regions with more traditional cultures. The Hygiene hypothesis might fit better. But I do believe in some contribution from emotional state/stress in some cases.
@Trekbikes2
@Trekbikes2 Год назад
Hi I am having trouble hearing this talk as I have a hearing loss. If you leave the captioning function when you record it, I would be able to access it. Can you please consider making sure the caption function is on when making any new RU-vid videos thank you.
@NFTeve
@NFTeve Год назад
hello, emotions are essential, but toxins, lifestyle and just the sugar and nonfood foods that we eat, are the other causes. Electronics, disconnection to the magnetic force of the earth with plastic soled shoes. For sure, I got sick from long-term trauma~but then I got well.
@jasonh.8754
@jasonh.8754 Год назад
It's a bit late to be talking about this subject, society is doomed to fail because greedy people have exploited those at the bottom far too much, for the last 20 years caring people have been expected to destroy themselves for the benefit of society.
@stevecooper3010
@stevecooper3010 Год назад
Here's a thought Why do we not perceive the mind and body as one entity?
@A_A_12_
@A_A_12_ Год назад
Because it is the false dichotomy we have been taught (Culturally etc.)
@noboyavedagarbha5590
@noboyavedagarbha5590 Год назад
Do you constantly perceive that your lungs breathe air?
@saida817
@saida817 Год назад
That’s exactly my case
@lisav9912
@lisav9912 Год назад
Please..I blame myself for my 2 yr old daughters alopecia. Out of what I considered necessity moved my 3 children to my home state to keep them from abuse of my ex husband. Now I pray for a way to help her. I've never experienced this as a parent of 14yrs. It's only been a few months but how can I help her immune system stop attacking her hair follicles? Did I do this to her which doesn't even matter? Can I find a cure by simply appreciating her existence? I feel so helpless which also does not matter. This thing.. it's not her fault.
@emilyb5557
@emilyb5557 Год назад
You didn't do it to her, that's victim blaming yourself, and you have taken her to safety too. Hopefully you can top up your own inner calm & that will have a positive effect on either her immunity or her way of coping x
@lisav9912
@lisav9912 Год назад
@@emilyb5557 thank you. My Dr thinks it was her getting COVID that triggered her immune system months later. He started her on modére pure hoping for hair growth. Very kind and wise reply. I appreciate it. Afraid it might get worse cuz I'm about to go to battle with him in court. Hoping the judge sees my heart and concern in the situation.
@concepcionjimenez2631
@concepcionjimenez2631 Год назад
No entiendo todo .... Podrian traducirlo porfavor !......creo q me pierdo cosas muy valiosas.. Gracias
@knowledgeberakah1728
@knowledgeberakah1728 Год назад
I had a stroke from that n anger! After having a stroke i cut alot of people my life 2022.
@heartspacerelaxations6924
@heartspacerelaxations6924 Год назад
We can also do the opposite which is narccistic, obsessed with self, self improvement, etc even if not in a grandiose way. Learning non aggressive assertiveness is important.
@ColargolPL
@ColargolPL 11 месяцев назад
O, ghosh! Dear Academy, must your sound be so soft?? Hard to hear without headphones
@Red_1976
@Red_1976 Год назад
If yu actually stop & think about what he is saying it makes so much sense.
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